#daisuke defies logic

[morporkian-cryptid]

Hey, y’all wanna see some more Very Inadvisable Gun Practices by Daisuke “Supposedly The Best Gunman In The World” Jigen,

the same absolute madman who brought us timeless classics like “shooting over your shoulder with the hammer right next to your ear”, “shoving a loaded gun into your waistband”, "twirling a loaded gun by the trigger guard", and of course “using the wrong ammo for so long that your gun just blows up into pieces and buries itself into some guy’s chest”?

-cracks knuckles-

Suppose you are stranded in the Middle Ages (thanks Mamou); Middle Ages People have stolen your gun and used up all the bullets, before kindly returning the now useless gun to you. Do you:

Use your gun to bash people on the head

Acquire a crossbow or perhaps a slingshot

Forge new bullets out of some random metal you melted over a campfire and poured into a hole in a block of wood, then shove them into your used bullet cases, presumably with some gunpowder that you just found somewhere

WHY, OPTION C OF FUCKING COURSE!

I sent these pictures to J (@whosayscrimedoesntpay), my Friend Who Knows Guns™, and he was kind enough to give me a detailed run-down of what exactly is wrong with Jigen. I will now hand the keyboard over to him, so he can explain why, in his own words, “there’s… so much wrong here… so much…”

What the fuck is that metal? Why are you able to melt it over a normal fire?? Why doesn’t the powder flash deform it if that’s the case?

How did you just… find a bullet-shaped hole?? Did you make it?? How did you do that so it was the right size and shape? The wood grain would affect the aerodynamics!

Pouring water on it is just a questionable idea in terms of physics. It could cool weird and possibly deform, if not have water trapped in it.

WHY DOES HE HAVE NO BULLETS, BUT SPARE BULLET CASINGS? [NB: the answer is that he had the spent cases from already fired bullets, which sent J into even more hysterics]

SAME FOR THE POWDER [NB from your local Japan History Nerd™: this movie takes place in the early 1500; firearms were introduced to Japan in 1300 so it’s not completely impossible that Jigen would have acquired some, but then again the villagers there were very clearly established to Not Have Firearms, so…]

Is he… hammering it?? Into the case?? With a rough object?? Risking deforming the bullet?? See point 2 for my point about aerodynamics.

If he doesn’t have spare cases and he’s just using old ones that he’s spent already, no he’s not. THAT’S NOT HOW THAT WORKS.

Expanding on point 7: the whole way a bullet works is the hammer hits the base of the case, either on the rim (the flared bit) or on the center (no flare on those so these are likely rimfire, unless the animators don’t know that either) [NB: .357 Magnum bullets have a flare on the base, so yes the animators did indeed get that wrong.]

That silver bit in the middle of the base houses the “primer”, which is the thing that initially causes the heat/spark that sets off the powder. Depending on if your gun/ammo is rimfire or centrefire, the pin will either strike the rim or the center. On the picture of the spent case (on the right) you can see a dent in the little silver bit.

If they’re spent, you can’t just reuse the exact same case. The primer in the rim/center is spent. You can’t replace that.

Well, technically you can reuse centrefire cases, but you have to replace the bullet (which Jigen did, very badly), the powder (did he?? We didn’t see him do it) and the primer (same here). In the end, the only problem Jigen had with these bullets in the movie is that the aim was very bad, even though the fact that his gun even fires at all goes against the laws of physics.

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TL;DR: Jigen is once again defying both science and gun logic. According to J, it basically boils down to “even if the metal is suitable (which it isn’t) and the bullet is made correctly (which it isn’t) and he just… has gunpowder up his ass, he STILL needs a new primer”.

Thank you for tuning in to this new installment of “Daisuke Jigen should not, in fact, be trusted with a gun”!

[flowering-thought]

hi hi!!

its star ⭐️ anon again!

thank you for responding to my previous ask!

please may i get headcanons for how your ocs handle arguments/disagreements with their partner?

thank you!!

ily ♡

- star anon ⭐️

Hii! Sorry for getting to your ask pretty late ⭐️ anon! But I gotchu <3

Hopefully there are no spelling errors and stuff-

Not edited

WARNING - MINORS DNI

AFAB reader and reader is described as feminine and chubby/plus sized.

Yandere themes

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Daisuke Kawahara

Argument Headcannons

• The rare times Daisuke gets into an argument or disagreement with you is when it comes to your friends and going to visit your home.

• He understands you are a foreign student and that at some point you'd want to visit home but occasionally he worries. He's afraid they'll say something to make you stay or that something would happen to you while you're gone.

• He tries his best to convince you to let him go with you or that he could also take a break to see what your home is like. And if you disagree by saying you don't want him to waste money and that he's never been out of the country before he'll say he doesn't mind and they he wants to make a good impression.

• As for your friends, he just doesn't always like them. As some of them run him the wrong way and he has this ideal of who deserves to be a friend of yours and who doesn't.

• And if you get into an argument with a friend he will quickly find a way to say why you should maybe distance from them.

• And depending on how he phrases it, it could become a disagreement but he always ends them with how much he worries about you and your happiness.

• Overall he's easy to apologize if he's really upset you. He always tries to put your feelings first but occasionally if you were to get really upset at him he may cry.

• Pick your arguments with him carefully cause as sensitive as he is, he will try to manipulate the situation if things get out of hand.

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Rowan Clarke

Argument Headcannons

• For Rowan when it comes to arguments and disagreements he's very wary.

• He can be hot-headed and stubborn but he never raises his voice or cusses during any sort of disagreement. He may get silent or clench his fist but he usually tries to talk things out.

• if he gets too upset he'll say "Okay let me just go wrap my head around this, it's too much" and head out to the barn or just somewhere he can cool off alone.

• If he ever makes you cry he panics and apologizes. He will say you and him can talk it out later and that in the moment he's sorry and doesn't want to continue if it really upsets you.

• He doesn't cry during arguments and such but he does get frustrated especially if it feels like you aren't listening to him.

• If he gets too frustrated he'll stop talking. He hates feeling small and unheard and when that happens he just shuts down.

• But it always ends with an apology. He apologizes if he was wrong or if he felt he went too far. And usually does it anyway just for the fact that it happened.

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Celtia Delphina Irene Nephyis

Argument Headcannons

• Irene is honestly someone that's too stubborn to back down. She doesn't yell but she will try to continue to refute by circling back around.

• She's strong-willed and if she feels you're wrong on something she will argue back.

• But the moment you cry she backs off. She'll stop and try to come to a conclusion you two can both accept.

• But if you argue back even harder than she is? She'll actually look at it from your point of view and see what you're meaning by something you are saying.

• She's an Empress so she's bound to be far too stubborn to argue with.

• it's honestly best to avoid arguments with her as she tends to get far too heated and upset if she thinks you may be "defying" her.

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Mila Allen

Argument Headcannons

• When Mila gets into an argument she looks at it more logically and if it's something she doesn't find worth arguing over she tries to end it fast.

• But if it's something that is serious she tries to listen but also point out her pov on the situation.

• She hates to upset you so she tries to keep everything calm and if it's something she can fix she'll fix it immediately.

• But if you say something that upsets her she may actually cry. And she gets more frustrated when she cries so she may just want to end the discussion completely.

• But she comprises easily and tries her best to not get too overwhelmed or get you too upset over something.

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Takeo Kawahara

Argument Headcannons

• Takeo is surprisingly calm. He listens to your side and then says his thoughts. He usually wants to compromise as best he can.

• It's rare if he really presses on something and if he does he gets a little heated but not much.

• And if you get really upset over something he tries to just listen instead of argue with you.

• And if he's the one that gets upset he usually goes outside to smoke. Sometimes it just takes too much out of him to argue or disagree. He doesn't like getting upset at you or with you so he just needs to cool down sometimes.

• He never raises his voice though. Sometimes he may interrupt what you're saying but immediately apologizes when he realizes it.

• Overall he tries hard to keep arguments and such calm and on rare occasions they turn a bit heated.

[ladyanatui]

Who Wears the Pants *A Daiken Fic*

Daisuke can't seem to keep his pants on. Even in freezing weather.

Day #9 of the Digimon OTP Advent Challenge 2019: Shiver

AO3 | FF.Net

Ken's school let out early today, and the sixteen-year-old decided to take the train to Odaiba to surprise his boyfriend with an impromptu date. Daisuke loved surprises, and as long as he was the one doing the surprising, Ken did too.

Naturally, Ken arrived early. His private school in Tamachi had released at noon, but with a couple hours until Odaiba released, he walked around a few nearby shops.

The weather had turned cold—particularly cold even in winter—and even going in and out of shops, Ken was shivering by the time he waited outside of Odaiba High for his spiky-haired boyfriend to emerge in a throng of teens wearing iconic sky-blue blazers. Of course, most of those blazers would be hidden away under winter coats, but Ken wasn't so sure Daisuke would adhere to logic.

The bell rang, but Ken didn't move from his perch on the wall near the main exit, cell phone in hand just in case they missed each other.

He had no need to worry, though. Daisuke wasn't easy to miss when he stormed out of the building, pushing his way through a slow-moving group of first years and laughing hysterically, something clutched tight against his abdomen. It was no surprise when Takeru ran after him, his blond hair particularly messy, followed shortly by Hikari, Miyako, and Iori, snickering as they walked together.

Ken slipped off the wall, bundling his coat tighter and trying not to tremble.

And true to form, Daisuke noticed Ken the moment he moved. His face instantly brightened, and he veered in his boyfriend's direction, nearly knocking over a pair of his classmates in the process. He didn't slow down when he reached Ken, didn't hesitate before launching the full force of his body onto him, and Ken was thrown to the ground with his giant puppy of a boyfriend on top of him, kissing him with all his might.

"That's cheating," cried Takeru as he stumbled to a stop beside the pair on the cold, hard ground. "You can't use your boyfriend as your home base."

Daisuke's only response was to pull back enough to chuck the crumpled material between them at Takeru's face before diving back in for another kiss. Said crumpled material, which Daisuke had kept close after stealing it right off his blond friend's head, was Takeru's newest hat.

Hikari, Miyako, and Iori reached the group and paused behind Takeru, who sloppily yanked his hat back over his head, grumbling all the while. But it was only when it became apparent Daisuke didn't need oxygen to breathe that the complaints began.

With a sheepish grin—all pleasant and apologetic but not actually sorry for glomping him—Daisuke helped Ken to his feet. "What're you doing here?"

Ken barely managed to gather himself together. "Surprise?" he offered, cheeks flushed. His body was trembling, but it wasn't from the cold anymore.

No, despite the fact that his boyfriend wasn't wearing anything over his dark-blue sweater-vest over his white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up at the elbows, tie mysteriously gone, Daisuke simply radiated heat with enough force to rival the sun itself. And when he grinned like he did at Ken's one-word response, the warmth increased tenfold.

Blush intensified, Ken turned to the other to pay his respects—it had nothing to do with trying to distract himself from the way his boyfriend's ridiculous grin dug under his skin and seeped into his very bones, not at all.

Takeru, a new denim hat with a wide brim forced too far down on his head, looked just as irritated as when he'd come running out of the building, but he chatted with Hikari, Miyako, and Iori amicably nonetheless. But the moment they realized the very public make-out session was finally over, they turned to greet him as well.

"Hello," Ken said in his quiet voice, and a small smile spread across his face.

"Hey, Ken!" Miyako greeted happily.

"Class out early?" Takeru asked.

He nodded. "Yes, we had a half day for the teachers to—"

Well, nothing beyond that was really important because then Ken's vision was blocked by dark material that landed haphazardly over the top of his head.

"Daisuke!" the group chorused.

Ken shook his head and scowled at the dark-gray cloth that landed at his feet. "Daisuke," he said, voice low, "why in the world are you throwing your pants at me?"

"In public," Miyako added, indignant.

Hikari sighed, exasperated. "Can you really not wait ten minutes to change at home, Daisuke-kun?"

But Daisuke just laughed as he turned to his boyfriend to fix his now messy hair. "Gomen, gomen. I got over-excited."

Ken shot him a glare, but per usual, he remained unfazed, totally unaware of the double entendre.

At least, underneath his uniform pants, Daisuke managed to wear a pair of dark-khaki shorts. No one understood how he could fit them comfortably under the dark-gray slacks, but no one could argue with Daisuke when it came to logic. Mostly because Daisuke defied logic at all costs.

"Sure, over-excited." Takeru snorted. "If this didn't happen every damn day, I'm not sure you should apologize for not being able to keep your pants on around your boyfriend."

Daisuke's face turned a dark scarlet. Finally, he understood. "Shut up, Takeru! At least I have a boyfriend."

The blond raised an eyebrow—he and Hikari had been dating for nearly as long as Ken and Daisuke. "At least I can keep my clothes on in public."

"I'm still wearing clothes, baka!"

"Half your uniform is missing." Takeru crossed his arms over his chest. "You can't go half a day without losing some part of it, but you manage to wear those dumb shorts under your pants."

Daisuke jutted out his bottom lip. "Pants are dumb. I don't see why we have to wear uniforms anyway."

"I bet you couldn't go a whole day without losing even one article of clothing," Takeru challenged.

Flustered, Daisuke spluttered to answer, but everyone knew he couldn't really argue against that. He hadn't managed it yet.

Ken sighed as he leaned down to grab the dark gray pants, buttons undone all along the sides from Daisuke tearing them off. "Really, Dai, we're second years. You've had to wear a uniform for over four years now. How is this still a problem?"

His boyfriend continued to pout.

To be fair, Ken probably should've commended his dedication to the quote-unquote cause. When his attempts to get away with wearing his favored cargo shorts during class were thwarted, Daisuke devoted hours upon hours every week to learning how to sew so he could alter the uniform pants.

His first plan was simply cutting off the bottom half of the pants and reattaching them with buttons, but then he was still stuck wearing slacks. That didn't last long.

After that, he discovered the idea of converting the uniform pants to tear-away pants, but that required him to further develop his sewing skills. Which he did, of course, and without complaint. And that means a lot when it comes to Daisuke. Eventually, he managed it—and then the struggle was finding shorts that fit underneath. Most of his shorts at the time were too bulky and obvious if he managed to fit them under the pants at all.

He had since mastered the whole affair, though. Obviously.

And really, how much could Ken complain about his boyfriend just tearing off his pants in one stroke?

Oh, yeah. Perhaps the fact that he did it in public and rarely even front of him. That was somewhat disheartening. Ken would much prefer it if Daisuke kept his ridiculous stripping habit in private. Preferably in Ken's bedroom.

Miyako snorted. "Don't tease him too much, guys." Not that her voice was any less teasing. "For all we know, he might declare another war on pants."

Iori shook his head, eyes wide. "No. Not again."

Miyako was now all-out laughing. "But it was great! He only got suspended thirteen times for refusing to wear them that first year."

"Fifteen," Ken automatically corrected. The current uniform pants were now folded neatly in his arms. "And why am I always the one having to fold these stupid things?"

Scratching the back of his neck, Daisuke simply grinned, but he accepted the folded pants and slid them into his backpack with grateful eyes.

Takeru raised an eyebrow. "How are you the one always cleaning up his messes? You're usually not out of class yet when he starts throwing clothes around."

Heat rose to Ken's cheeks.

It probably had something to do with the fact that Daisuke met him after school every single day, and they usually wound up doing homework and, ahem, hanging out at his apartment in Tamachi. Of course, Daisuke getting out his schoolwork always meant tossing the no-longer-worn pants out of his backpack, and Ken folded them for him every time. Daisuke always called him anal as he did it, but he also added how incredibly cute he was, and…well, they usually didn't get much homework done after that.

Daisuke slung an arm around Ken's waist and tugged him close. "If all goes well, he'll be cleaning up my messes for years to come."

Ken frowned. "That's…" He sighed. "That's a very nice sentiment."

Not very practical, mind you, but definitely a nice sentiment. Ken definitely preferred to think of their relationship in the long term as well, but he didn't necessarily envision himself being a perfect housewife who did all the housework.

Perhaps he wasn't being very practical either, though. He'd seen Daisuke's room in its natural state far too often.

And yes, folding.

Ken was pretty sure Daisuke didn't even know how to fold laundry.

When he shook his head at the thought, his teeth chattered.

"You okay?" Suddenly, Daisuke was in his face, worry lines creasing his forehead, and he tutted. "You're wearing like ten sweaters and a huge scarf. How are you still cold, Ken-chan?" Then, he turned to the others to give them a wave. "Later!"

They ignored the chorus of goodbyes in favor of Daisuke wrapping his arm around his shivering boyfriend and leading them toward the Motomiya apartment.

Ken sighed, snuggling closer to his boyfriend's heat. "You could at least have the decency to pretend to be a normal human being and wear pants when it's this damn cold like the rest of us," he said, burying his face in his scarf.

But Daisuke laughed. "What're you talking about? It's not that cold. But you know…" His voice took on a particular tone that sent a completely different kind of shiver down Ken's spine. "I could warm you up. It's not like anyone's home right now."

Ken pressed closer. Yes, that sounded like the perfect way to rid his body of this chill.

[digimonadventuretimelines]

[03 - After The Re:encounter]

He opened the door of his dad’s office room after everyone had left the house, holding a few packages and juice boxes so he could feed the other two. It was like dealing with pets except said pets can eat human food.

Ulforce was still sleeping in the couch, with Natsu in her digimon form on his back. A very adorable scene, except that Daichi had to wake them up.

“Uh, good morning?”

The digimon duo opened their eyes slowly, sitting one next to the other on the couch.

“Man, I’ve been sleepin’ on the cold solid ground of a cave so this whole royal treatment is so good!” Ulforce chirped, smiling “Huh? What’s this? Food?”

“Uh, yeah… I couldn’t cook something without my mom and Kiyoko asking me about the quantity of food so… I brought some snacks and juice.”

“Oh, I miss eating those!!” Natsu cried “It brings me so many good memories…”

“Y-you’ve eaten those before, digi-girl?!” the blue digimon exclaimed.

“Daisuke and I had known each other for years…! I’m an honorary partner digimon of his.”

“That I didn’t know” Daichi seemed happier today “My dad always talked about you being an old friend of his and friends.”

“Mimi and Wallace were okay, but Vee was so jealous of me!”

“Is Vee my father’s partner digimon?” the boy asked “I thought he was just an employee from my dad’s restaurant…”

“Your dad’s partner is Vee, and he can be a little meanie compared to my loyalty to Daisuke.”

She wasn’t fine talking about another digimon, especially the one who didn’t like her at the beginning…

“You kiddin’?! He’s a legend!” Ulforce protested “He beat Chimeramon, Cherubimon Vice, Belial Vamdemon, Boltmon and Pukumon, and Diablomon’s highest form!”

“W-wow, this means… my father were in those stories?!” you can feel Daichi’s joy to hear his father had been a hero in the past.

“Not only him, but also other cool ‘mons too!” the draconian digi-child grinned, “All the Twelve are legendaries! You seem surprised, didn’t you hear about them?! They’re in the books and lore about our worlds as the ones who connected humans and digimons!”

“Um… My parents never had told me that. Actually, I didn’t even know the DigiWorld’s Ambassador was one of those most known heroes too… I’m not sure if I can tell Taisuke about that...”

“They had children” Natsu said vaguely “and they decided to not let anyone else know their identities and keep their children safe.”

That made sense, at least to Daichi.

“When the first kids of the Twelve had born, a lot of discussion between what to do and how to keep them safe happened. Then, Taichi and Daisuke decided they had to keep their identities as a secret and… Requested Homeostasis to do a soft reboot on the worlds. Their digimon kept being known, but the human partners of them got all data and memories deleted from most of the people and digimon’s heads.”

“So… No one knows the identity of the Twelve? But how can my father be controlled by the bad guys right now…?”

“I didn’t say ‘everyone’ but ‘most of them’ had their memories rebooted” she pouted “Some digimon and the Worldwide Chosen Children know their identities. Also them all had their memories untouched.”

“Man, that thing about reboots is annoyin’!!” Ulforce crossed his arms “Lots of stories got taken away! Not just that, but some don’t even believe they existed!”

“Thinking about that… That possibly happened with the first human children who fought for the DigiWorld…”

“So, my dad and ambassador Yagami weren’t the first…?”

She looked down.

“No, Taichi’s from the second generation and Daisuke from the third. The story of the first gen. is a bit of unknown… All we know is that four of their partners evolved into the Holy Beasts to fight the Four Dark Masters.”

“ENOUGH OF STORIES I WANT TO EAT!!” Ulforce roared nervously “I want those there! and that too! Aaah, human food! I’ve dreamed with this day!!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ugh, he’s spending more and more time inside without even taking a break to play with me!”

Kiyoko was not okay again, venting all of her frustrations to Taisuke and Eiji, the ones who she sees as her best friends. Despite of Eiji’s height, he’s twelve like Kiyoko, and only Taisuke is the youngest of the trio, being eleven years old.

“I don’t understand!”

“Have you tried to ask what’s bugging him?” Eiji mused “Sometimes asking is better than jumping to conclusions… I hope that’s not a little intrusive.”

“I tried!” she responded with some annoyance. She was upset with Daichi though, “Today mom left to work and then he just said ‘go play with your friends I have to study’ and… And…!!”

“He’s a meanie!” Taisuke interrupted her “Locking themselves in the office and not even coming to play with us at the park…!”

“Yeah, that!”

Though Eiji realized Taisuke wasn’t talking about Daichi only, but about someone else too…

“Who do they think they are?!” the youngest clenched his fist “They have no time for us, we’re like nothing to them?! I hate it!!”

“Yeah-- Uh, ‘they’ you mean…”

“Sigh, his father” Eiji answered “The ambassador is too busy lately and Taisuke spends more time at my house with my sister and me.”

“Oh… Yeah, I’ve heard the news” she frowned “There’s something big happening, some guys causing a fuss because of the digimon and some digimon causing a fuss because of us.”

“My dad is also busy…” he added “We barely see him these days.”

“I’m mad…!” Taisuke growled.

“At least you two aren’t hearing weird theories that my dad is dead and no one can admit that, like Daichi’s doing on a daily basis every time we talk...”

“We don’t relate to that issue but we feel sorry, Kiyoko.”

“Thanks Eiji…”

“I’d have said it’s okay to spend time studying, but honestly Daichi’s case is somehow unhealthy. Does he skip meals or pull all nighters?”

“Huh, not that I know… If he weren’t going to school I’d have said he has turned into a complete shut-in.”

“That’s a problem then… He needs to exercise at least once per day…”

“Why care about him,” Taisuke rolled his eyes “He chose that path. Let him face the consequences.”

“I don’t want to let Daichi’s health get bad…” she kept voicing her concerns “He’s definitely suffering the most with that anxiety about dad. Maybe we can do something?”

“... ‘we’ like, me and Eiji?!”

Eiji glanced at her and then started thinking of something. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the digimon finished their breakfast, them and Daichi started examining the mysterious D-TimeRune device given by Skuld. The boy explained then that the digivice’s design reminded him one of the several retro phones his best friend had collected.

But that made no sense to the blue digimon, since he never had seen said phone before and Daichi’s description of that sounded like a digivice to him while Natsu kept in silence. Daichi sighed, then changed the entire subject.

“I… I tried talking to mom about what we know but…”

“ ‘But’ …?”

“I lost courage,” he sighed.

“But you HAVE to tell her and Taichi!” Natsu wasn’t happy with that answer.

“I know, I know! But seems they’re too busy to hear me out!” he babbled “I can try to send him an e-mail or a voicemail… And try to talk with mom when she’s home from work tonight!”

“At this pace better you take me back to the DigiWorld so I can beat that--” Ulforce was threatened by Natsu’s deathly glare “--that m-man and then bring it back home f-for you, kid!”

“... mrs. Skuld said I can… Do something about that.”

He looked at the digivice.

“What if I use this power to prevent my dad from being captured?”

“H-Hold on, Daichi” the pink digimon gasped “You shouldn’t mess with space-time! Awful things happen to those who defy the laws of Space-Time.”

“How do you know that?” both Ulforce and Daichi frowned.

“... Feminine intuition.”

“But we can try… I won’t mess things enough to change the entire course of story!”

“Ryou, Taichi and Daisuke never messed with time, just traveled through parallel worlds. You messing with time might be worse than anything. You can end up destroying this world’s timeline or…”

“... Making me to not exist anymore?”

“Yes.”

“Whoa, wait can all of those happen?!” that V-mon definitely felt concerned with that idea.

“Natsu,” Daichi glared at her “If you had this power to save my father, would’ve you taken the chance to change his fate… Or would’ve you let him suffer and be seen as a traitor?”

“H-how do you know about that part… About him being accused of--”

“If he’s a hero and is working for the evil, then they will treat him as a traitor until proven otherwise. It’s logical. I don’t know if mom and ambassador Yagami think he’s innocent, but you do! We do!”

“Except Ulforce, though”

“I didn’t know he’s the kid’s father COME ON!!”

“But…” she looked at the boy with some concern in her face “I think it’s better to let the adults solve it. Have faith in your parents and Taichi, they will solve it--”

“I know my father is friends with Ambassador Yagami, but now that he’s on an important role, he will ignore boundaries and do what’s right for the digimon. He won’t go easy on dad, and might… Might do something wrong.”

“And why do you think that…?”

“Because as I remember, this is a threat to the human world and it might force Ambassador Yagami to put an end on this, by killing my dad.”

“... I think he wouldn’t--”

“No, he would. He’s a responsible adult, not a leader from a children’s group.”

“Hey, kid’s right” Ulforce added “If he let his mom and this Yagami-dude know about Lupinmon they gotta ground kid and do the wrong thing!”

Natsu felt conflicted. Especially because she knows Daisuke would’ve preferred her to keep Daichi and Kiyoko away from him to avoid misfortune, but on the other hand Daichi is the only one able to do something and save Daisuke.

“Please, Natsu!” Daichi begged her.

“I don’t know!!” she cried “Daisuke’s very important to me, but his children is also important! I can’t let you do something risky-- I...”

“My father would’ve done the same for me! I know it!”

Natsu’s imagination worked all again, her imagining Daisuke in front of her smiling and approving the idea of Daichi becoming a hero like him. It made her eyes shine and she nodded her head many times that the boy and blue digimon felt scared.

“LET’S GO!” she yelled “To save your father and the worlds!”

“But kid needs a partner digimon first, doesn’t he?” Ulforce looked at the digivice and then to Daichi, “This means he needs to… Return there.”

“Let’s go,” the boy nodded “If I get partnered with a digimon, I can save my father.”

“... I can’t be your partner” Natsu looked away “I can’t, sorry.”

“Who’s sayin’ it will be you!?” Ulforce pouted “Also why would he pick you!?”

“I understand” Daichi smiled “You don’t want to fight my father, is it?”

“... Let’s say it's that.”

“Then, you won’t be forced to! Now let’s go to the Digital World, I will find a digimon who’s willing to fight alongside me and then save my father and the the world.”

[themattress]

Here are the male and female characters poll pages from this poll.

These are the results broken down into percentages:

And now, to go on a tangent based on something Nomura said about it:

In regards to the responses regarding favorite characters, most of the results were as expected, but I feel Riku ranked a little low. I think I have to do something about that. Maybe I should give him a little more opportunity to shine?

At first, this quote amused me, since I associated it with the other poll that said Noctis was the FF character people most wanted to see in KH3 - Nomura said it was going to be difficult to make that happen, but given Riku’s blatantly Noctis-esque redesign for KH3, I figure he tried to knock out two birds with one stone. But the more I dwell on it, the more pissed I get.

Riku WAS more widely popular back in the earlier days of the franchise. But times change and tastes change, and the “angsty tortured pretty-boy anti-hero” archetype fell out of favor and even now still isn’t in favor (example: Keith from Voltron: Legendary Defender and the generally polarizing reception he’s had). Riku isn’t exactly UNpopular now, though, as he still ranks 4th on the poll, jumping ahead of Terra who had actually surpassed him back in a 2011 poll, when BBS was all the rage. And yet Nomura feels he “has to do something about this”?

There are three reasons why this angers me.

1. Nomura muses that “maybe I should give him a little more opportunity to shine”? Oh, yes! Because THAT’S clearly the problem - Riku hasn’t had enough of an opportunity to shine! 

Forget the fact that he had his own playable story mode in CoM, that he was the final party member and requisite for the final battle (where he was even playable for a brief moment) in KH2, forget that he had a role in Days and was a playable Mission Mode character, forget that Data Riku was the journal’s avatar in Coded and had almost an entire chapter dedicated to he and Data Sora’s bond, forget that even as a child he got the most screentime in BBS, forget that he not only had his own playable story mode in 3D but was the actual main protagonist of that game who became the True Keyblade Master, forget that you beat us over the head with how “more Sora-esque” he’s become in 0.2 BBS (and Sora’s still the most popular male character even now)...Riku hasn’t had enough of an opportunity to shine!

This is ridiculous. If after ALL of that, Riku still doesn’t even breach 100 votes in a fan popularity poll, then there is literally nothing more you could do to “make him shine” that would work. If anything, I suspect the opposite holds true - I think people already feel that Riku is being forced down our throats, to the point where he’s been given more to do than the series’ actual main character (which Sora is, regardless of what Riku’s own most hardcore fangirls might believe). If you continue to give him “opportunities to shine” and basically yell “YOU MUST LIKE THIS GUY!”, the less inclined people are to actually sincerely like him. Take a tip from the crew behind The Legend of Korra - when they saw their blatant attempts to make Mako popular were only making him less popular, they scaled his role back and stopped trying so hard with him. Because of this, he became less artificial and more genuine, relatable, and likable, and he naturally gained a lot more fans by the end of the show. If you don’t do this and instead keep pushing Riku, he’ll only be seen as a Creator’s Pet by many.

2. Hey, you know who HASN’T had a lot of opportunities to shine, who could really use it, who has lots of fans clamoring for it?  KAIRI.  But because of the very vocal hatedom she has, Nomura and the other folks at Square became convinced that she was unpopular. and what did they do? Did they say “we have to do something about it and give her a little more opportunity to shine?” Hahahahah, nope! They just threw her out like the garbage and kept her presence to a bare minimum in all the games between KH2 and KH3, even when it very blatantly defied all sense and logic to do so. She’s only got a bigger role in KH3 out of some sense of obligation, that because it’s a “mainline game” she’s got to at least have 30 minutes.

The fucked-up thing is that this recent poll disproves the notion that she’s unpopular. She got 182 votes and sits at 20% of the results, which is just 26 votes and 2% less than Xion, the first (heroic) female playable character in the series. It’s just 6 votes less and the same percentage as her current training buddy Axel on the male poll.  And it’s more votes and a higher percentage than Riku has on the male poll. There are more people who are willing to name Kairi their favorite female character than there are people willing to name Riku their favorite male character. And need I remind you, this poll was taken LAST YEAR. After well over a DECADE of Kairi having no significant role in any game! Clearly, in her and KH’s country of origin, Kairi is very well-loved by a plurality, regardless of all the online shrieking against her. And yet Square still refuses to give her the time and development she deserves.

3. And this leads me to my last point. Consider the characters above both Riku and Kairi, and who aren’t the main character, Sora.  The trio of Roxas, Axel and Xion are popular - Days is much bigger in Japan than it was elsewhere, and the two boys were popular well before it.  As such, we keep getting them in KH games, even when it doesn’t make sense for them to be there.  Aqua is the most popular KH female character, so they gave her a special KH3 prologue to star in that elevated her to being possibly the most popular KH character period.  

Yet this poll indicates that at this point Kairi is more popular than Riku and...Nomura’s immediate response is that he needs to “do something about” Riku’s situation, with no indication that he’s going to accommodate Kairi based on her popularity. So basically, when all these other, significant, non-Kairi characters are popular, Nomura makes sure to give them more to do.  But when there’s a significant, non-Kairi character who polls worse than Kairi, Nomura...makes sure to give him more to do.  All while Kairi herself is left hanging. WTF!?

My point is that we desperately NEED a writer who actually cares about Kairi as a character on board the KH games, someone like Jun Akiyama or Daisuke Watanabe or even freaking Shiro Amano! Because it’s painfully obvious that Nomura does not give a shit about her. 

[kuro-von-shitsuji]

Dream Story

I had an extremely vivid dream last night that had one of the most coherent narrative structures I've ever dreamed. It’s... kinda long so its under the cut.

 I moved into my new dormitory and the Dance With Devils student council (+Lindo) were the RAs. Instead of thinking this was a reason for any alarm or concern my first reaction was "shit yes time to seduce Shiki," even though his devil route should have taught me that that's like the last thing you want to do. 

Anyway for like some unknown reason we go to the theatre to see a production of Dance With Devils (even though it was clearly real in this dream world) but we're stuck in seats right to the back and around the corner even though the theatre was almost completely empty. Knowing we wouldn't hinder anyone's mobility, a few of us decided to sit in the aisle towards the front. 

 The actors came out and it became clear why no one else was in the theatre. It was clear they hadn't rehearsed, ever, and Rem's actor only had one leg with no prosthetic, which became an issue when Urie's actor took his crutches during the first song and accidentally dropped them off stage. No one went to get them, so Rem was rendered unable to move for the rest of the show. 

 So like I'm sitting in the theatre with the real Rem and who I assumed was Shiki because it was dark so I started trying to flirt with Shiki. Bare in mind however that I'm like the least flirtatious person when I'm awake so my sleep flirting was equally awful. Nevertheless, it seemed to have some effect after I playfully hugged this person, but after pulling away I realised it wasn't Shiki at all but was in fact Lindo, and when the lights came on he looked absolutely smitten. Now let's be real Lindo would be a better partner than Shiki no matter which way you look at it, but dream Lily was not thinking about anything logically and just went "oh you're not Shiki," and proceeded to ignore him for the rest of the evening. 

 So time progresses and I'm getting more and more angsty from lack of Shiki but finally he shows up and he's holding hands with Mage. The three of us sideyed it and I was like "Hey guys wanna explain the hand holding," and Shiki straight up scowled at me and said "we are not holding hands." So like I looked again to make sure I'd seen right and they were in fact full on fingers-intertwined-holding-hands-like-lovers holding hands. I pointed this out again and Shiki sighed like I was a total burden to him and began to explain. 

 At this point my dream went into flashback mode. 

 That afternoon Shiki and Mage both decided they really wanted a can of coke. Apparently neither of them had a single cent to their name so they spent the day scrounging up the money to share a can between the two of them. They finally finally got the money and bought a can from the school store. They were so excited and absolutely ecstatic about their achievement. Shiki was about to take the first sip when Mage suddenly realised that the can actually expired in 1976. They were absolutely devastated and decided they couldn't let all their hard work go to waste so they vowed that although they could not drink their coke they would give it a proper burial. So that's what they did. While digging their can sized grave one of them found a bamboo shoot in the soil. They both decided they would keep the bamboo shoot in honour of the soft drink they had lost that day. Because it meant that much to them, they both wanted to be the first to hold the bamboo shoot but neither would yield so they opted to both hold it at the same time. 

 At this point they opened their hands to show us the bamboo shoot as evidence. Then they joined us on the rug. My first reaction to this was "shit yes Shiki at last," but this was kind of short lived. Shiki was not exactly the fallen angel I thought he was. If anything he was kind of bland. I endeavoured to bring out his sadomasochistic side so I tried saying something flat out insulting, cause you know, in canon Shiki loves that shit. Dream Shiki just gave me this look of absolute contempt and ignored it. 

 Not to be swayed by Shiki's behaviour I kept trying to coax him out of his shell. At one point the conversation took a certain turn and Rem mentioned something he found thrilling (I can't remember what). I took this opportunity and although I was talking to Rem I turned to Shiki and said in a very exaggerated manner "you could say he's zokuzoku." Shiki scowled once again and said "who the hell says zokuzoku?" 

 Here is where my entire world came crashing down. Shiki saying zokuzoku is my lifeblood. It's my very reason for living. Hell its to the point that so far in Diabolik Lovers Laito is my favourite just because Daisuke Hirakawa will occasionally say zokuzoku. But I digress. Here was the moment of truth for me where I had to make a decision. To my right Lindo was still trying to get my attention and had apparently forgotten all about Ritsuka, and to my left Shiki was defying expectations and probably hated me. But apparently dream Lily doesn't settle and had one last trick up my sleeve, so I grabbed Shiki by the hair and dragged him over and hissed something along the lines of "you do."

 Everyone sort of sat there with their faces perfect representations of the 😦 emoji but Shiki did his whole wide -eyed-gross blush thing he does for a split second before reverting to his prior stoicism. I guess he was still upset about his coke. 

 I left the others at this point and for whatever reason decided it would be a great idea to break into Shiki's apartment like that isn't a completely stalker thing to do. I think I must have been looking for reasons for his mood change or something? Idk but whatever it was I never found it because it was while searching Shiki's bedroom that I woke up. 

And that's what I dreamed last night.