#damn it really wasn't meant to be taken that seriously

[mouseymilkovich]

Fools | Carmy x Reader Fic

read speechless first! | masterlist | playlist | pinterest board | next chapter

Fic Summary: The Beef is closed, The Bear is coming. You've taken fewer hours at your job to lend a hand— for Sydney, of course. You and Carmy decided to stay friends— just friends. Things would be better that way, right? ...or wouldn't they?

Chapter Summary: Time for your new journey, alongside your best friend, Sydney Adamu, and the man who complicated your life these days, Carmen Berzatto. You're determined to make being "just friends" with Carmy work, but is he as determined as you are? | Carmy Berzatto x fem/afab reader (using they/them pronouns)

Important Info: The sequel to Speechless! (Seriously, read that first otherwise this fic won't make much sense), (texting, the usual) pink = reader, green = Sydney

Content Tags: Smut in the first chapter? You bet baby! Reader mentions wanting to drink, unprotected sex (reader is still on birth control tho dw), reader gets sad

Chapter One: Bad Idea, Right?

Word Count: 2k

"It's so weird, seeing The Beef sign not hanging," You commented as you approached the restaurant with Marcus, coffees in hand. Sydney and Carmy were already standing outside, watching the sign being taken away.

"Yeah... kinda feels bittersweet," Marcus replied as you both reached Sydney and Carmy. You each handed them the coffees you had for them.

This whole "just friends" thing with Carmy was proving to be more difficult than you initially thought. He still haunted your dreams, your nightmares, and a good majority of your thoughts. Now, that you were taking fewer hours at work to help with The Bear, you were in close proximity to Carmy almost every damn day. Part of you wondered if he felt the same, but you still remembered those stinging words of him calling you a "little fling" that day— you were long past that fight, you'd made up, but those words still haunted you. It were as if you'd meant nothing to him at all.

"Let it go," You internally reminded yourself— then your mind devolved into the actual song. Damn Disney and their catchy music.

"C'mon, let's go inside," Sydney nudged you, breaking you from your thoughts.

You followed her inside, leaving Marcus and Carmy on the sidewalk. Sugar was inside, busying herself with something that you really didn't understand, she was more on the business side of things.

Your thing was interior design. Of course, your boring little office job wasn't for that, so when Syd had offered to hire you on for interior design for The Bear, you jumped at the chance— even if it meant spending more time than you'd like with Carmy.

"You seem distracted. You alright, dude?" Syd asked you, sympathy behind her tone.

"Yeah... just... this whole being just friends thing with Carmy is weird getting used to. That's all," You reassured. You'd made a decision that you wouldn't be hiding shit from her this time; but, some things you wouldn't go into extensive detail about.

"It'll be alright, just think of this as... getting to spend more time with me?" Syd muttered with a playful nudge.

"Yeah, you're right." You smiled softly.

It was something you'd talked about when you were approaching your final year of high school— Syd opening a restaurant, you designing the interior of said restaurant. It was nice to finally see that dream through... even if it involved the man who complicated your life these days.

Well, at least with Richie taking on the role of maître d'hôtel at The Bear, you'd be working in close proximity with him more than Carmy. You'd gotten along with Richie since the first moment you stepped into The Beef while Syd was working there, so there was that at the very least. You'd also be working closely with Marcus, and the rest of the former Beef staff who'd become your friends— that was a plus at the very least in all of this.

"I've been sketching and writing down loads of ideas," You told Sydney. You could only hope you could run those ideas by Sydney more than Carmy.

Of course, the boys came inside in that moment, and Carmy had to chime in. "Can't wait to see them."

So much for running those ideas by Sydney more than Carmy.

You gave Carmy an awkward smile over your shoulder, then looked at Sydney again. "Um, wanna come over tonight and we can talk some of it over?"

"Shit, I'm sorry, I can't— I would, I really would but I have a meeting with this up and coming journalist about the restaurant," She frowned.

"Oh, it's okay! We can worry about it another time—"

"I can come talk some of it over if you want?" Carmy suggested.

Of course he suggested coming over. Why did he insist on tormenting you? Still, you were determined to make this "just friends" thing work. So, you relented, a big ass forced smile on your face.

"Sounds great!"

┈

You wished so desperately you could've backed out of this. But, no, this "just friends" thing was going to work, come hell or high water, and you were not going to sacrifice your interior design job just because of stupid Carmy... and his stupid handsome face and stupid good looking body and stupid charming smile. Stupid Carmen Berzatto.

Carmy came to your apartment with you, you both headed inside. You decided to make a mental note, "Always bring your art tablet, sketchbook, and notebook with you to the restaurant from now on."

"Want some water? Pop? Wine? Snacks?" You asked, trying not to sound as nervous as you felt with Carmy being back in your apartment for the first time since your fight with Sydney.

"I could actually go for a coffee, maybe?" Carmy muttered, sitting on your couch.

"Alright. Well, um... make yourself comfortable!" With that, you scurried to your kitchen.

Why did it suddenly feel like you were living in a really fucked up romcom?

You took a deep breath, making Carmy a coffee and yourself a tea. This was for work, Carmy was here strictly for business.

You'd also made the decision of no more drinking if a situation involved Carmy— that would be a bad mixture. But man, you'd kill for a fucking glass of wine right now.

Okay, this would all be fine. You were not intoxicated, you had no excuse to make any moves on Carmy, absolutely none. But what if he did that stupid thing where he flexed in that stupid white t-shirt and— STOP.

Jesus Christ. You gave yourself a quick splash of cold water to the face. Calm down, calm the fuck down.

You finally made your way back to the living room as you took a deep breath. "Here you go, Carm!"

"You remembered how I take it?" He asked.

"Well, yeah, I did just get you a coffee this morning—"

"That's different. You buy different coffee."

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Why are you being so weird?" You grumbled.

"Me? Why are you being so weird?" Carmy asked, almost sounding offended. "You've been like this all day."

"Oh my god, like what?" You asked.

"Just... I don't know!" Carmy exclaimed.

Suddenly, you realized the proximity to Carmy was a little too close.

"Like... nervous and fuckin' jittery around me and shit," Carmy muttered.

"No I'm not!" Yes you were.

And then Carmy smirked. You felt a chill run up your spine, and an all to familiar warmth in your stomach... arousal. From Carmy. Stupid, stupid, hot Carmy.

It only took a matter of seconds for both of you to snap. Carmy was kissing you, you were kissing him back. You knew Carmy being in your apartment was a bad idea.

You barely even remember how the two of you ended up in your bedroom, all you knew was that you were naked, he was naked, and he had you on all fours at the foot of your bed, and he was wasting absolutely no time fucking pounding you.

It'd been a while since you'd gotten fucked like that— well, fucked at all, admittedly. Since before your fight with Sydney, actually, cus you and Carmy hadn't done anything that night, and you hadn't bothered to see anybody else since your fight with Carmy.

"Ah— Carm— holy fuck—" You cried out as he pulled you up, the angle making him hit that soft spot inside you.

"Fuck, you feel s'fuckin good, baby," He groaned in your ear, one hand pawing at your tits, the other using his thumb to tease and rub your clit.

You tossed your head back against Carmy's shoulder, every sensation drawing you closer to the edge.

"C'mon, wanna feel you cum on my dick, pretty girl," He growled in your ear as he felt your walls clenching.

"Jesus— fuck—" You yelped, Carmy let you fall forward against the mattress as you came, your breathing becoming ragged and heavy.

"Good girl, gooood girl," Carmy grunted as he kept fucking into you, nearing his own orgasm. His familiar, obscene sounds filled the room as his hot seed filled you. "Fuck, takin' it like a fuckin' champ, babe."

You knew Carmy, though. He had a knack for making you cum multiple times in one night, so you knew this was just the beginning.

┈

After a night of sleep from Carmy thoroughly fucking your brains out, you awoke to an empty bed— not only that, but no note, no text. So, you got up, thinking maybe he's making coffee, or breakfast— nope. Nothing, nobody. No Carmy.

You sighed, realizing that last night was a huge fucking mistake. The biggest mistake you'd made in a while, probably a close second to getting involved with him in the first place. This was a thorough disaster, and you decided to make a promise to yourself right now, no more Carmy, no matter how tempting he may seem, this feeling the day after was not worth it, this pain was not worth the high.

You made yourself a coffee, and sat on the couch, contemplating what to do. Do you tell Sydney what happened last night, and beg her not to let you be alone with Carmy ever again? Do you even acknowledge what happened around him at all? Did he feel that it was a mistake too? As the thoughts swirled around your brain, you felt tears pricking your eyes.

Goddammit, of course you were gonna tell Syd. You promised, no more fucking secrets. But that didn't change how awful you were feeling.

i'm gonna be running a little late today. long story, promise i'll tell you later.

oh my god.

tell me you didn't.

How did she figure it out from a single text message? She did always seem to know you a little too well.

i did.

You felt yourself actually starting to cry now. How could you let this happen, after everything? The fights, the makeups, deciding to be only friends... you felt so stupid.

Yeah, this pain was definitely not worth the high.

Soon enough, Sydney let herself and Marcus into your apartment, she had coffees and he had a box of freshly made donuts.

"Oh my god," You mumbled upon seeing them, tear stains tracked all over your cheeks.

"Cheer up squad at your service!" Marcus announced as each of them sat either side of you.

They sandwiched you in a tight hug, Sydney giving you a little kiss on the cheek. It was obvious that Sydney knew by your text how upset you were.

"So... what happened?" Sydney asked softly.

You sighed, and explained that you tried to keep things neutral and normal, then next thing you knew, he was kissing you, you were kissing him back. And then things moved to the bedroom and got heated quickly. Then in the morning... there was nothing. No note, no text, no Carmy. Just a whole load of nothing.

"Can I kill him? I'd like to kill him," Sydney said casually. "I would really, really like to kill him, actually."

You sighed, putting your face in your hands. "Syd, please, I don't wanna confront him with this. I'm embarrassed enough as it is."

Syd sighed and nodded, her arm falling around you to rub your shoulder. "It's okay, yknow. Shit happens."

"Yeah, shit happens," Marcus nodded in agreement. "It was just as much his doing as it was yours."

"Please promise me you guys will keep me from letting him come to my fucking apartment again," You groaned. "Please."

"We'll try our best," Syd muttered, then laughed a little. "I could move in. That would help, right?"

"Very funny," You sighed, knowing your shitty, small one bedroom apartment would definitely not house two people very well.

Thankfully, Sydney and Marcus spent the morning with you, letting you wallow in your sadness and embarrassment in their company. Ah, true friends.

Eventually, you all headed to the future site of The Bear, and you'd discovered that Carmy, Sugar, and Sydney, were aiming to have the damn thing open in three months, with the help of funding from the Berzattos uncle Jimmy. You'd really have your work cut out for you...

In more ways than one.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

tags ; @maggiesarchives @carmenberzattosgf @buendiabebeta @turtle-cant-communicate @fastboatsmojito @wabi-sabi1090 @dearpyramus

click here if you'd like to be tagged in any future updates of my work!

[lemoncrushh]

Show Me Your Texts, or It's Over

Summary: Harry finds out you've been in contact with your ex and gives you an ultimatum.

Warnings: angst, maybe a little gaslighting

Word Count: 1889

A/N: From my 2016 collection. This was based on a prompt selected by a reader. Very angsty. You won't like Harry in this, and maybe not y/n either. I almost didn't repost it, but please don't take it too seriously.

You hurried outside to your car, the summer heat threatening to burn you through your black shirt. You felt the vibration of your phone in your hand, alerting you of yet another text from Harry. He'd been texting you all morning and throughout your lunch break. It had started off as a harmless conversation of missing each other when he'd reminded you what time his flight arrived. You'd been apart for over a week, resolving to short late night phone chatter until one of you fell asleep, or the occasional text that left you cold and flat. Needless to say, you were dying to see him.

As the morning progressed, however, so did the texts. His flight was delayed due to weather. He wasn't sure if he'd make it in time to go home and change, so he'd asked to meet you at the dinner party. You argued back and forth, insisting that you were fine with being a bit late if it meant you could go together.

You knew without a doubt that this text that had just arrived was him telling you otherwise, but you were already running late and needed to get back to work. You'd been excited for and anticipating his return, but now you were just frustrated and perturbed.

Tossing your purse and your phone in the passenger seat, you drove back to work. It wasn't until you were settled back in your desk, running your hands through your hair with a sigh, that you decided to examine his newest text. You were surprised, however, when you noticed the name. It wasn't from Harry. It was from your ex-boyfriend, John.

Biting your lip, you swiped the screen to read the text.

Working hard, or hardly working?

You chuckled, texting him back quickly.

Neither. Just got back from lunch.

Damn, I was hoping to persuade you to meet me for a bite.

You grinned at your screen. John had texted you out of the blue two weeks ago. At first you were apprehensive about talking to him again. He'd been the one to break off the relationship, claiming he wasn't ready to commit. You'd taken that to mean he wanted to be free to screw around, so you'd given him the boot. Although you held your head up high, you'd been hurt, your self-esteem lacking. That is, until you'd met Harry. Harry had been the solace that you'd needed, lifting you up repeatedly by his words as well as his actions.

When John came clean with you in his texts, apologizing and admitting that you deserved much more than he had given, you'd decided to bury the hatchet. There was no point in being bitter about it, and you forgave him, not so much for his sake, but for yours.

One thing you hadn't done, though, was tell Harry about it. It wasn't really that you were trying to hide it from him, but you didn't want it to become a big deal. Harry knew how John had treated you. You'd told him repeatedly, and a couple of times had cried in his arms over it. So telling him this same ex that had made you cry was now texting you like an old friend...probably wouldn't be a good idea.

Sorry, you texted John back. Raincheck?

Better yet, how about you meet me for drinks later?

You gritted your teeth, not sure how to answer. Asking for a raincheck on lunch was one thing. Lunch you could do. Probably. But drinks after work? Besides, you needed to run straight home after work to get ready for this dinner party with Harry.

As though he knew you were thinking of him, Harry's name popped up with a new text.

Flight's been delayed longer. I should be home about 7.

Just as you were about to reply, another text alert from John popped up.

How does Margo's sound?

You swallowed hard, trying to decide who to answer first. Quickly, you typed out a message for John.

Sorry, I can't tonight. Harry's coming home.

As soon as you hit send, your eyes about popped out of your head. You'd sent it to the wrong person! Shit!

You saw the three little dots pop up, indicating Harry was typing.

What??

Calming yourself down, you decided to play it cool. It was an accident. He had no idea who the message was for.

Haha sorry baby. I was talking to a friend. Didn't mean to send that to you. I'll see you at 7.

Ok

Making sure you had John's text open then, you politely declined, sending him the text you'd originally intended to.

Oh ok then, John sent back. Maybe some other time. Have fun!

"[Y/N]!" you heard Harry call from the front of the house.

"You're home!" you squealed from the bedroom.

You'd hoped to meet him at the door, greeting him with lavish kisses, but right then you were in an awkward position on the bed, trying to buckle your high-heeled strappy sandal.

"Hi, beautiful," he said in a low tone.

You looked up to see him standing in the doorway. Temporarily dismissing your buckle, you stood to meet him halfway, wrapping your arms around him.

"Mmm, I've missed you," you murmured against his chest.

"I missed you, too," he echoed, "and you look gorgeous."

"What, this old thing?" you playfully scoffed, stepping back to allow him to view your ensemble completely.

A sexy grin spread across his face while he set his suitcase against the wall.

"I'll hurry and get ready. Wish I had time for a shower."

"Go ahead," you insisted. "I don't mind waiting."

"No, love, we're already late. I'll just change."

You sat back down on your bed, grabbing your phone while Harry undressed. You'd gotten a couple of texts from John earlier. When you'd told him you were getting ready for a dinner party, he'd asked you to send a picture. You thought it was a little odd at first, but so far he hadn't said anything that made you feel uneasy. You'd sort of slipped into this comfortable friend zone unexpectedly. So a few minutes before Harry had arrived, you'd sent John a selfie in your dress. He had yet to reply.

Tossing your phone on the bed, you stood and walked to the vanity to put your earrings on. As you were adjusting the second one, Harry passed by the bed.

"Who's John?" he inquired, shoving his arms into a clean shirt.

"What?" you turned to look at him. You noticed then he was inspecting your phone.

"You just got a text from a John," he added.

Oh no.

"'Wow, you look amazing!'" Harry quoted, reading the text that John had apparently sent. "'Sexy as hell!'"

Your entire body trembled as he lifted his head to glare at you.

"Who the fuck is John?" he repeated, his voice rising.

"Um..." you sucked in your lips, wringing your hands.

"Not your bloody ex boyfriend!" Harry nearly shouted, his eyes narrowed.

"Baby-" you started, but Harry interrupted you.

"You're talking to him again? After what he did to you?"

"Harry," you swallowed, stepping towards him. "Let me explain."

His face showed no sign of willingness to listen to any explanation though he remained rooted in his spot.

"He's been texting me a little," you admitted.

"A little?" Harry raised a brow. "For how long?"

"A couple weeks."

"A couple weeks?! Were you gonna tell me?"

You looked down at your hands, wishing you had something in them to hold.

"I thought you'd be mad," you said meekly.

"Well you were right about that!" Harry turned away from you, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck!"

"Harry, I'm sorry," you muttered sincerely. "But I swear, it's harmless."

He swung around, his eyes shooting daggers at you. "Harmless, huh?"

"Yes. He wanted to apologize for everything. I told him I appreciated and accepted his apology, and we just got to talking about what we've been up to, you know, like catching up. I told him about you and-"

"You've told him about me," Harry interrupted.

"Yes! He knows all about you. He knows you were coming home today and we were going to a party."

"Is that..." he paused, "is that who you were texting earlier today? When you sent me the wrong text?"

The look on his face told you he did not find it funny in the least, regardless of your trying to play it off like you had. You opened your mouth to retort, but decided it wasn't worth it.

"Yes," you sighed.

"Shit," Harry dropped his shoulders. He blinked slowly before reaching for your phone.

"Let me see the texts," he demanded.

"What?" you asked incredulously.

"The texts from him. Your conversations."

Anger building in your chest, you grabbed your phone out of his hand.

"No!" you glared at him. "That's ludicrous!"

"Why? Because you have something to hide?"

"No, I-"

"Then show them to me, [Y/N]."

You stood silent for a moment before shaking your head slowly.

"Show me your texts, or it's over," said Harry.

"You can't be serious," you contended, your voice just a whisper.

"Dead serious."

"You..." you began, but quickly surrendered, handing him the phone. "Fine."

You sunk down onto the bed while Harry scrolled through your text messages from John. You knew there was nothing wrong with them. It was the principal. Harry didn't trust you, and that angered and disappointed you.

You focused on Harry's belt buckle while he stood before you. You felt like a child. You didn't appreciate it. You loved Harry and you would never to anything to sabotage your relationship. A tear dropped in your lap, wetting your dress before you even realized you'd been crying. Sniffling, you stood up again to reach for a tissue on the vanity.

"[Y/N]," you finally heard Harry mutter. He cleared his throat. "Baby, I'm sorry."

You turned and looked at him, your eyebrows raised. He lowered the phone, dropping it on the bed. Then he stepped closer to you, reaching for your hands.

"I'm so sorry," he declared again. You noticed a glint of a tear in his right eye.

"I was telling the truth," you said.

"I know," Harry bit his lip, the side of his mouth turning up. "You mentioned me a lot."

"I did," you nodded.

"And you said you're madly in love with me."

"I did."

"And that you're happy. For the first time in your life."

You blinked. "Yes, I did."

"God," Harry ran a hand through his hair again. "I was a jealous prat."

You giggled softly before placing your hands on his chest. "What on earth do you have to be jealous about?"

Harry grinned. "I mean...I still kinda think he's trying something. But I like how you sidestep him every time."

"Because I don't want him, Harry," you conveyed. "I want you. Only you."

You gazed into his eyes until he slipped his hands under your ears and lowered his mouth to capture yours.

"I really missed you," he murmured. "Maybe too much. It's made me do something I never thought I'd do."

"I'm yours, baby," you promised. "You don't have to worry about a thing."

You slid your hands down his torso.

"Except maybe about being late for dinner."

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[verstxppen33]

this wasn't meant to happen

summary: oops, you left your diary at his house... | autumn special!

genre: a sprinkle of fluff

warnings: use of y/n

pairing: lando norris x reader // friends to lovers

a/n: super cliché, i know, i know

The raindrops dropped gently against your window, creating a soothing sound. As soothing as it was, it didn't really comfort your anxiousness of your diary being gone. You rummaged through everything and everywhere, even in the bathroom. But it was nowhere to be found.

Unless you've taken it to Lando's house...you took it to Lando's house?!

Meanwhile, Lando found a scarlet-coloured notebook on his bedside table. Out of curiosity, he picked it up and opened it.

"Dear Diary,

Today, I had to take care of a drunk Lando. He kept mumbling about me being so precious and pretty? I didn't quite take it seriously, but the way he spoke was just too affectionate. Not to mention, he was very clingy too."

Lando's eyes shot wide open, as he remembered the morning after "the incident". It was your diary. He quickly shut the diary, a slight blush on his cheeks. He didn't want to invade your privacy, even if all of your thoughts and feelings could just be opened right here and now. It'd be a bad thing to do, right?

He resisted the urge only for a few minutes, letting out a slight giggle and opening up the book and sliding to the next page. He looked around his bedroom like if someone was watching him, then sitting against his headboard and reading curiously.

"Hey there,

Something's going on with my mind, and I don't even have the energy to write anything. Quick and short, I might be in love? With Lando, perhaps? I have no idea. He's just too cute! It's wrong to fall in love with my bestfriend, isn't it? Nevertheless, I have some things to do:"

What? In love? Lando stopped immediately stopped reading. He didn't really care about the other pages now, definitely not your To-do list.

He silently cursed himself for invading your privacy like that and letting his curiosity win over. He closed the book and thought about giving it back to you.

Still in slight panic, you were drinking a cup of tea, leaning against the countertop, wondering where your damn diary was. You almost never wrote into it, but it still felt so damn important. The rain already stopped pouring, leaving an earthy smell in the crisp of the autumn air.

A ring on your doorbell could be heard and you put your cup of tea down, wondering who would it be. As you opened the door, you smiled at Lando's sight, but as your gaze darted over to the scarlet notebook he was holding—your diary, your smile faltered.

"I think it was yours." Lando spoke up sheepishly, holding the diary out for you to take. You rapidly take it from his hands.

"Did...Did you read it?" you ask nervously, even though you had no idea what was in it anymore, since the last time you wrote in it was months ago.

"Maybe, y/n, Maybe." he responded with a faint smile. "I got too curious. And I've think I've read enough." You raised an eyebrow. Was that a good or a bad thing? What the hell did you write into that notebook?

"What did you see, exactly?" you asked curiously, leaning into him unconsciously.

"You're in love with me." Lando responded bluntly with a slight chuckle, noticing your cheeks heating up immediately. "No, it's fine. It's fine. I maybe I am too, and I'm maybe just figuring it out."

Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He responded to it quickly and wrapping his arms around you as well, grinning widely. He gently lifted his hand to run through the strands of your hair, his hand slightly cold from the autumn breeze.

You two have a lot to figure out.

[denwritesandcries]

One rock a day keeps the Wilderness away – L.M

Pairing: lottie matthews x fem!reader

Summary: The last thing you expected to happen after a plane crash was for your girlfriend to end up becoming some kind of cult leader fascinated by amulets made of the weirdest and shiny things like a damn owl, yet here you are.

Word count: 1,7k.

Content: 96/wilderness timeline, cursing, pet names, fluff and corny, comfort, skeptic!reader, lottie and reader are secretly little haters.

Note: I guess you could say that I simply love writing fluff and cuddles.

English is not my first language.

If there was one thing everyone at Wiskayok High School was aware of, it was that Lottie Matthews was rich as fuck.

She always wore the most expensive clothes, there was a driver who picked her up at the door and took her everywhere, her house was simply giant and some dare to say that a butler was the one who met them at the door and served them drinks on the nights she had her parties.

The thing is, Lottie was a bit... weird, for a rich girl, which meant that she wasn't as popular at school as she could’ve been. She didn't exactly fit the bad girl role, but she wasn't quite a preppy either, with her extravagant bows and tiaras being the most luxurious thing she would actively display. She was distant at best.

This made you, at the beginning of your relationship, try to spoil her in every way possible, not being able to believe that this sweet and out of reach person could reciprocate your feelings so genuinely when she could have just anyone, so, in addition to showering her with affection, you also showered her with gifts. Accessories, especially. Earrings, necklaces, bracelets, until you understand that jewelry really wasn't her thing, since despite accepting everything with affection, she simply left them stored insisting that you didn't spend your money on it. Lottie was much more appreciative of the little things you gave and did for her.

Now, the last thing you expected was for her to develop a taste for accessories in the damn wilderness of all places.

“Baby, I’m not wearing a necklace with a damn bone hanging from it to go hunting.”

It turns out that, like almost everything involving Lottie, her way of demonstrating her new preferences – maybe hobbies? – was also not very usual and you hadn't exactly taken anything of the royal jewelry type for a trip that was supposed to be quick.

“But I chose and made it for you! Will keep you safe out there, I feel it.”

Oh, yeah. There was also the fact that your girlfriend was perhaps slowly going a little mad and becoming the leader of a religious cult that your teammates were a part of and that she wanted you to participate too.

“Jesus Christ, Lot.”

You didn't want to encourage her. The worry was eating you alive and it's only gotten worse since she confided in you that she finally ran out of her meds.

You, unlike your other teammates, were aware that the things Lottie said or did lately were much more influenced by her own condition than any other truly supernatural factor – as much as you couldn't deny that the cabin and the forest gave you goosebumps –, which made you really stressed and irritable with all your friends as they started to believe in things that didn't exist and put pressure on your girlfriend for answers as if she were some kind of prophet.

You managed to keep everything under control and keep her from straying too far from reality to a certain point, but then the whole situation with the group being attacked and Van being seriously injured happened and so nothing you did could convince Lottie that there was nothing what she could have done about it and that only seemed to encourage her more when the redhead recovered enough to confide you all that she should have listened to the feeling Lottie had and that she felt safer with the “amulet” she received from her.

The result is that you are now the target of Lottie's worries and she insists that you wear the charms and trinkets she makes.

It's actually quite cute, you've caught her once or twice sitting by the fire trying to figure out how to tie a knot that won't snap the cord, her eyes glazed over and focused. You could use it, as bizarre as it would be, if it was just a silly gift from your girlfriend, but since that's not what it is, you don't want to put even more things in her head in case something actually happens.

“But then what’s going to protect you when you leave?” Lottie asks, head tilted to the side in alarm and you can only notice how her bangs fall over her eyes in a messy and cute way.

“Maybe the gun I always carry with me?”

However, it was becoming difficult not to encourage her in any way, because aside from bones or occasionally some different plants, Lottie also seemed to see signs in anything that stood out a little, like the bright and colorful rocks you had made a habit of bringing at her, guarding everything that caught her attention like a damn owl.

It started as a silly thing, with a cracked and shiny rock you found near the lake the day you guys found the cabin, you cleaned it and handed it to her with a shy smile, like it was one of your gifts back home, just to cheer her up a little and since then she kept the rock with her at all times – even if sometimes she woke up twitching because she ended up lying against it in the middle of the night. That seemed to turn the key and over the next few days you noticed that she spent time looking for new types nearby the house and so you committed to bringing all the pretty items she might like when you went on your hunts with Natalie, from strange rocks to little crystals lost along the way, just because she looked so happy when you handed them to her.

You think her cute gesture turned into more of a paranoia like 'one rock a day keeps the wilderness away', but at least it makes her more relaxed and happy on days when everything is bad.

One day you return to the cabin with Natalie in tow looking very upset because you've come back empty-handed again and your head is drooping with exhaustion and frustration. When you finally enter Lottie is waiting for you with an appreciative, warm look in her face.

“Did you get anything?” she asks, wrapping her arm around you and guiding you both to your usual corner so you can sit side by side.

You mumble negatively and bury your head in her neck. She rephrases the question when she notices your discouragement:

“Did you get anything for me?”

You sigh, smiling at her, “That I did.”

Lottie watches you curiously as you move to take something out of your pocket and show it to her and you notice the exact moment she registers what’s in your hand.

“A quartz.” She takes it from you like it’s the most fragile thing in the world, “It’s a pink quartz.”

“Is it?” You ask, stifling a yawn with your hand, “I don't know a thing about those stones and stuff, just thought it was pretty and you would like it.”

“Well, I do like it very much. Thank you.” Lottie gives you a soft smooch on the cheek, “And it's not a stone, baby, it's more like a gem or a crystal.”

“Hmm,” you hum in agreement.

She leans her entire weight against your body and smiles innocently when you complain: “Misty told me the other day that gems like that mean peace and unconditional love.”

“You've been talking to Misty? About rocks and gems?” You look at her in disbelief.

“I feel really lonely without you here with me, you know?” Lottie shrugged.

You felt a little guilty and moved closer, leaving a kiss on her shoulder.

“I'm sorry, Lot. I miss you when I'm away too,” you murmur, rubbing her arm in comfort, “Why don't you tell me about your day?”

Lottie rolls her eyes in a way that reminds you so much of the days when you guys would get together to talk shit about everyone you knew in these stupid parties that your heart skips a beat.

“Ugh, if I hear Mari complain about one more damn thing, I’m going to tell you to stop chasing bears and order everyone to serve her for dinner.”

“Please, don’t.” You snort a dumbfounded laugh, “They might actually do it.”

You end up lying down with her curled up and facing you, gently drawing small circles on your hand.

“Got something in your mind?”, you brush some strands of hair from her face affectionately.

“I just have no idea what to do with… them,” she shrugs hesitantly.

You know what she means immediately and move to take her face in your hands, feeling her lean into your touch.

“Oh, Lottie.”

“I know what you and Nat do for us is very important, but I wish you didn't have to,” she mumbles, as if she were confiding a secret, getting impossibly close to you. “I wish you would stay here, with me, where it is safe. Is it too selfish? Want to keep you all to myself?”

You let out a shaky breath, not trusting your own voice when you can feel her breath against your lips like this.

“Well, if Shauna can hide her diary in the attic like a freak then I guess you're allowed to keep some things to yourself too, hun.” You stutter, feeling your skin heat up in embarrassment.

“But you're not a thing.” Lottie wrinkles her nose.

“You can keep me anyway, I don’t mind.” You shrug this time, faking indifference to make her laugh.

And she does, “Babe!”

Just when everything is silent and you think Lottie has slept with your legs wrapped around hers and using your arm as a pillow, she speaks again:

“You know, my new quartz would make a really cute necklace.”

“Lot,” you yawn against her hair.

“Will you use it if I make one?” She looks at you, blinking her big brown eyes in the most convincing way possible, “Just this one, please, for me?”

You sigh, “Yes, Lottie. I'll use your magic stone.”

She deflates, “Don’t talk about it like it’s crack, babe.”

Lottie kisses you slower than usual before you leave as she finally notices the pink gem hanging from your neck and you happily ignore Natalie's mockery as you run after her to catch up to the forest.

[skzhua]

you are my safe haven ('your eyes' series)

♡ "You were the first person I thought of at the moment."

pairing: lee minho x reader.

genre: fluff, angst.

word count: 10,529

warnings: swearing, suggestive, unrequited love mentioned, minho being minho (savage and flirty).

summary: your relationship with minho has always been tricky. either he was roasting the shit out of you, or he was flirting with you shamelessly. when things start to get complicated with your childhood friend, chan, why is he the first one who come up in your mind?

a/n: this one took me so long to write, but it might be my favourite one ever. i just fucking love lee minho, lmao. i'm so sorry for not posting as regularly as i used to, i'm very much struggling with school and other, but i'm trying my best! anyway, enjoy~

SERIES MASTERLIST

You and Chan met when your parents used to live across from each other. Being a year apart only, it made things easy for the both of you to get along. You had gone through everything together whether it was growing up, changing schools, making friends, etc. The last big step you had taken together was moving on your college's campus. You roomed with a nice but shy healthcare student, Youngmi. Although she wasn't a social butterfly like Chan was, she grew more at ease with you as time passed.

Another semester starting meant more homework and less free time, and that involved no more nights out with Chan at the local diner. Over the holidays, his friend, Minho, had started to come to your usual hangouts. Nothing against him, but his presence did affect your relationship with Chan. Your crush on him had only been growing since college started and Minho's presence wasn't much of an help if you wanted to confess at some point. Anyway, it's not like you could tell Chan that his friend was causing you problems when really he was doing nothing wrong.

Your first day was finally over. Checking your message app, you saw nothing from Chan. Weird, since he would always answer you. Your last class was with Minho, and after you had put everything in your bag, he was still at his desk, not having moved a bit other than jamming to his music.

"Minho, can you not?"

The man acted as if he had heard nothing and went on with humming happily to the song he was listening to. Despite how much your friendship with him had improved, he remained one of the few people you would give away to Satan to save yourself with no hesitation.

"Min." you tried again, but you were left with no response.

Out of impatience, you snatched his earphones out of his ears, resulting to Minho spatting out one insult after the other. "I was vibing, you moron! You're seriously no fun, weirdo."

"Wow, I'm so affected by your lame insults." you rolled your eyes.

"I'm going soft on you, kitten."

And here it was again, the sudden shift from insults to flirts. Quite honestly, you never understood how he managed to pass from one another so smoothly, nor could you comprehend how it took you by surprise each time. But that's what Minho is, a flirty jerk who loves to provoke.

"Why are you so pressed, anyway?" he asked as he lazily followed you out of the class.

"We're going to the diner, remember?"

"I forgot, actually. See, that's why I need you around." he winked, but you dismissed his antics.

"Chan hasn't replied to my messages yet, it's not like him."

"It's the first day of school, I bet he has hundreds of meetings."

He was surely right, but you learnt with time to not base your thoughts off of Minho's because he never cared about anything other than himself. And right now, he didn't give a damn about Chan not replying to you.

"I don't know, should I call Bin to see if he's with him?"

Minho deadpanned at you. "Are you his mom or something? He's fine, probably just busy. Plus, I'm here. Can't you enjoy my company for once?"

You sent him a disgusted look, unimpressed, as you went outside. That's when, from afar, you saw your best friend. He was as handsome as ever, still wearing his oversized black clothes, and laughing cutely. And he was laughing with a girl. You had literally never seen her before, though you were convinced to know everyone in Chan's social circle.

"I told you he's okay." Minho huffed.

"Sure." you replied, unfocused. "Wait here for a moment, will you?"

You passed your bag to him, not letting him protest, and you ran to Chan to hug him from the back. He was startled for a bit, until he realized you were the one who took him by surprise.

"Hey, there!" he smiled widely before hugging you back tightly, ruffling your hair in a sweet manner. "I haven't seen you all day, where were you?"

"Class... And the best out of this is that I get to finish the day with Lee Minho." you fake-gagged.

"He's not that bad, just a bit annoying." he chuckled. "How was it, other than that?"

"Fine, I suppose. I just really don't want to be back in class. The teachers went over their planned projects, and I wanted to shoot myself just then."

"Don't say that, you'll do just fine. I know it." he said, rubbing your back.

"Thanks, Channie." you blushed a little.

Chan soon realized he had been ignoring his new friend since you appeared. "Y/N, this is Eunhee. She's in my sound art practices class. Eunhee, this is my best friend, Y/N."

You ignored the pang in your heart from the label he used for you, but still greeted the girl sweetly. "Hi! Happy to meet you!"

"Likewise." she replied, seemingly uneasy by your presence despite her polite smile. "I can go find my dorm alone if you two want to hang out."

You turned your attention to Chan expectedly, but his answer crushed you a bit. "No, no. I'll show you." he hurried to tell her, before looking at you sadly. "Do you mind going without me for today? I'll join you later."

You tried your very best to hide your disappointment, but let's say it wasn't much of a success. "Yeah, sure. Do you want Minho and I to order for you?"

"It's fine, thanks. Later?"

He brought you in his arms again, kissing the top of your head as some sort of apology. You felt down enough, you didn't want to break your façade in front of him. So you hurried to join Minho back, who had patiently waited for you at the same spot. He frowned upon seeing your glossy eyes, but you didn't let him question it. You took your bag from him and started to walk to the diner immediately. However, Minho was stubborn. He sped his pace up to catch up with your own and fixated his gaze on you. You attempted to ignore it, but he can be very intimidating when he wants to be.

"What?" you snapped at him, annoyed.

"You like Chan."

You stopped on your tracks and looked at him incredulously. "You're seeing things."

He scoffed as he stopped walking as well. "Please." he elongated the word. "You're almost drooling at the sight of him. And when he's not with us, you only talk about him."

"I don't drool! And I talk about him because we barely have anything in common."

He smirked. "Now, now, kitten. You barely know anything about me, how can you be so sure?"

"You're a pain in the ass." you groaned, starting to walk again.

He followed closely as he laughed alone. "This is a fact, though. We barely talk about anything else than Chan. You must like him, then."

"Then talk about something else, if it bothers you that much."

He paused for a second, trying to think of any moment you two had without mentioning the older man. He could not think of a single one. He had tried to get to know you on many occasions, but Chan would always end up being the main topic. He had noticed way before today that you had a crush on Chan, but he thought it wasn't his place to bring it up. However, today was different. He was sick of seeing you check him out from afar and do nothing about it, so he thought of giving you a little push. Clearly, you were more stubborn than he initially thought.

"Do you actually want to talk with me?"

You let out a chuckle. "I mean, sure?"

"You don't seem sure."

"Like you said, we don't know much about each other, other than our mutual friend."

You reached the diner and opened the door to let Minho in first. He didn't wait for you to sit at the usual table you would be at with Chan. You joined him quickly, and he sent you a sly smirk.

"What is it now?" you breathed out.

"I want to talk."

You shrugged your shoulders, acting uninterested. "Please do."

"Do you even remember my cats' names?"

The question was unexpected for your part. In all of the things he could have brought up, you expected school, life experiences or hobbies, but certainly not his cats.

"I do, actually." you proudly responded, and he quirked an eyebrow. "I'm telling you, I remember!"

"What are they?"

"Soonie and Dori."

He gasped, putting a hand on his chest to enhance the dramatization of his reaction. "How dare you forget about my beloved Doongie?"

"My bad." you nonchalantly shrugged.

"You're such a bad friend."

"Are we even friends, Min?" you huffed.

"I only allow certain people to call me Min, actually."

You wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but Chan entering the place interrupted you. For the first time in your life, you wished he hadn't come join you so soon. He said hi to Minho briefly, before coming to sit down next to you. The server soon came to take your orders, and you asked for your usual burgers.

"Who was your little friend?" Minho asked Chan on purpose, resulting to getting a death stare from you.

"Eunhee. She just tranferred here, so I was showing her around. She's very nice, actually. She even writes lyrics like me! I read some of it, and she's got some talent."

Hearing him talk about someone else with so much praise did not feel good. Nonetheless, you smiled along Chan's talk and pitched in the conversation from time to time.

"I'm sure the two of you would get along well." he finished his monologue about the girl.

"Yeah, she sounds fun."

The night came to an end quickly, and Minho insisted on paying for the food, despite Chan's protests. You were walking to your dorm, when Chan had to go a separate way since he wasn't living close to you. He hugged you good night, and was off to go home.

Minho kept quiet as he walked you home. He didn't mind since his building was next to yours. Although the silence was enjoyable, he felt like something was off. You were acting as if he wasn't there and he couldn't help but notice when you sniffled discreetly.

"You like him that much, uh?"

Not in the mood for his teasing, you groaned in annoyance. "Shut up, Min."

"I'm genuinely asking." You hesitated, not sure if you should be telling him about this. "Hey, I'm serious."

He stopped you and put his hand on your shoulder. While Minho was never one for physical contact, you did know he would not think about it twice when it comes to his close ones. Apparently, he did care about you more than you thought. For some reason, you trusted him enough to tell him. Probably because it was becoming too much of a burden that you needed to confide in someone.

"I'll always be a little sister in his eyes, right?"

He didn't actually expect you to say anything, but he was pleasantly surprised you did. "Depends, things like this can change, you know."

"You don't get it. I've tried for years to get this man's attention, and the moment he meets Eunhee, he seems infatuated with her..."

"For years?"

You nodded your head slowly, ashamed to have been looking at the same man for that long. It's not like you did not try, you actually dated here and there. Nonetheless, Chan was always the one to pick you up after each breakup.

"Rough." Minho simply said.

You ended up changing subjects, as he started to spill out about his cats. He said he rented a dorm for himself so he could have his babies with him, and that he did not think it through when bringing in his third one. Especially because Dori has so much more energy than the two others.

"Thanks, Min." you said as you came to the front door of your building.

"For?"

"I don't know. For being there."

"Sure." he shrugged his shoulders. "Good night, Y/N."

"Good night."

You really tried to make Youngmi feel at ease around your friends, and mutiple times. The girl had not much interest in coming out of her shell. You understood that, but her having been in college for a year already, you would have expected her to open up more. Still, her befriending you was already a success.

"This is, like, the only free break I have this week, so enjoy while I'm here." Chan laughed out as he headed towards the cafeteria.

"What if I don't?" you joked.

"Then you are revoked from any bestie privileges. No more driving you home after a night out."

You gasped as to seem shocked. "Who would tuck me in and treat my hangover, then?"

"Youngmi can do that." he shrugged as he nodded his head towards the girl walking next to you.

She didn't say anything as she looked at you in confusion. "What?"

"Nevermind." you sighed.

"Hey, Y/N, look." You followed to where Chan was pointing as he tugged your side, and your eyes landed on Eunhee and Jeongin sitting at a table. "We should join them."

"I don't think we should do that." Youngmi spoke.

"I thought you knew Jeongin and get along with him well."

"We don't want to impose ourselves." you added.

"It can't be too bad. Plus, Eunhee is very easygoing. Let's go."

No matter what you were going to say, you knew Chan was not going to change his mind. You forced yourself to follow him, and Youngmi had the same expression on her face. When you reached the two others, Jeongin's face turned red as his gaze stuck on Youngmi.

"Hey." she waved at him shyly.

"Do you mind if we join?" Chan asked, although he was already sitting down.

"Go ahead." Eunhee replied kindly.

Hesitant, you still sat down and started to eat. Chan began to discuss with Jeongin while the remaining three of you kept quiet. You and Eunhee exchanged some glances, and you felt bad for being so on the edge around her. She hadn't done anything other than being friendly, and it wasn't fair from you to give her the side eye.

Looking around, you tried to find Minho in the crowd. You spotted him quickly, but he did not see you as his eyes were set on someone else. More specifically, Byeol, his ex-girlfriend. He was sitting across from her and they were exchanging obvious glares. You were starting to wonder why he even sat with her, since he had previously told you he doesn't like to think about her. You observed the two of them for a bit, until they shifted glares into smiles. What the hell was happening?

"Youngmi." you turned to your friend. "Don't you think it's weird he's hanging out with her?"

The girl shrugged, since she didn't know them that much. "It looks normal to me."

You then heard someone choke, which turned your attention to Eunhee, who was coughing like crazy. As Jeongin attempted to make her feel better, you took out a napkin and wiped off the water she had spilled. She gave you a small smile, thankful.

"What do you mean, me? What did I do?" she said after she stopped coughing.

"She asked me if I'd be interested in tutoring you."

You hadn't noticed that Chan was the one she was talking to, until he answered. Tutoring? Wasn't he busy enough already? You chuckled as you thought this was an horrible idea, and Eunhee did the same, visibly seeing this as ridiculous as you were.

"What's funny?" he asked Jeongin, not sure to have caught on what made you two laugh.

The young man shrugged, not very interested in the conversation. "I mean, do you even have time to tutor? You barely have any time for the guys and I."

"It would be during the class period." Eunhee groaned at Chan, seemingly not happy with what she was hearing. "She said you're going to fail if you keep going like this."

“Come on, Chan. We’re barely halfway through the term. I can manage myself.”

“Not sure about that. You have halfway left that you can use to actually get better instead of barely passing.”

She gave you a look, almost pleading for your help, but you really didn't know what to tell her. So you shrugged your shoulders, and turned back to Youngmi to continue chatting.

“I’ll think about it…” you heard Eunhee say.

Lunch time went on pretty quickly. Youngmi had class, so you walked with her to her course. Your day was pretty much over, and you were planning to hang out with the boys for the evening. But nights at the diner shifted to you and Minho being alone while Chan needed to attend the student association meetings. Either that, or he was too tired and wanted to rest.

Unlike what you would have expected, it didn't affect you as much. Minho was much different than your best friend, there was no doubt. His weird behaviour, though, was odd enough to make you forget that Chan had pretty much abandoned you. He was still consistent with his texts, but you barely actually saw him around, today being an exception.

You joined Minho in front of the restaurant, and didn't bother waiting for Chan since you knew it would only be the two of you. He started to talk about his day and other fun things. But honestly, your focus was not cooperating as you were mostly in your thoughts.

"No, but can you blame anyone? Hyunjin's butt is great." Minho went on with his story-telling.

You mixed your milkshake with your straw in boredom, as you nodded along Minho's talk. "Yeah yeah, Hyunjin's butt is nice."

He raised an eyebrow, offended by your lack of commitment in this one-way discussion. "You're not listening."

"I am! I just told you Hyunjin's butt is nice!"

"Y/N, you've never seen the guy." he rolled his eyes at you.

"That is untrue!" you raised your finger to point at him in defense. "He's the one looking like he was made by angels, right?"

Minho scoffed, a smirk forming. "That would be me, princess." His cockiness almost got to you as you were at loss of words. "And we both know my ass is cuter."

You snorted at his statement. To be fair, you had checked his ass once, and there was no denial that he had a good one. You were not going to feed this ego of his, however. Just then, a ping was heard from your phone.

Chan: Hey! Changbin and I would like to have a little gathering with the others tomorrow. You in?

Y/N: If that means I can finally see you, yes!

Chan: I'm so sorry about that! I had so many meetings and so much work to do. It's supposed to be mostly done, though, so hopefully we can see each other more from now on.

Y/N: Otherwise, I'm complaining to the school that I want my best friend back.

Chan: Stop, you know I'll never leave you.

Chan: See you tomorrow?

Y/N: See you tomorrow.

"Something tells me Channie's the one you're texting." Minho teased.

"Shut you. I could say the same with you texting Byeol earlier."

This spilled out of your mouth without you thinking. You did not understand why it bothered you this much when he was chatting with his ex-girlfriend at the beginning of your night together. It was surely because it was impolite to be on your phone when you're hanging with someone already. Though, you just did the same and he was not bothered at all.

Minho blinked a few times as his eyes were set on you, before he breathed out a huff. "What do you mean?"

You stuttered as you tried to explain yourself. "I-I... She and you were- I meant, earlier today-"

He grinned at your sudden change in attitude. He rarely saw you shy or embarrassed, because you were rarely in this kind of state and also because you were good at hiding your emotions. To say he didn't like it would be a lie. You were damn adorable with the flush on your cheeks, and he had to suppress himself from slipping out a comment about it.

"You were definitely not listening to me earlier, then." You frowned before gesturing for him to continue. "The whole butt thing was because Byeol had accidentally texted me instead of her friend, and she was complimenting Hyunjin's ass in that message. That's why I was laughing then."

"Oh." you breathed out as you nodded your head slowly.

"If it makes you feel any better, I smile much more when you're texting me." he winked.

"Now, for real, you need to shut up."

Being the first one to get to Chan's dorm, you made yourself at home as you sprawled across his couch, scrolling through your social medias. Chan had plans with Minho and would be coming home with him later, so you hadn't seen him yet. Changbin, however, was there.

"Do you think this is a good plan?" he sighed loudly.

Frankly speaking, you had not listened to one word he said since you were too focused on replaying the cat video Minho had just sent you. "Uh? Yeah. It's an excellent plan." you replied nonchalantly, before chuckling at the video again.

"And, you were not listening." Changbin let out a sigh. "Is this Minho's cat?" he asked, upon seeing the ginger feline on your phone.

"Yeah. Soonie fell off this morning while he was filming him. Poor kitty, but this is quite hilarious. Especially Minho panicking and running to save his child." you went on to explain, a smile still on your face.

"You have it for Minho, now?"

You froze in action from his words. "What?"

He realized that, maybe, he shouldn't have said anything as he scratched his head while awkwardly chuckling. "Forget it."

The doorbell rang and Changbin almost ran to the door to open it. He let Chunhwa in before giving her a big hug. She had brought drinks for the evening, so she straight went to put them in the refrigerator.

"Hey, Y/N!" she waved at you.

"Hi." you smiled. "What did you get for us?"

She raised a pack of beer and a bottle filled with a dark-coloured liquid. "Beers for the guys, and I found this fruit punch thing. I thought we could try it out." she shrugged as she put them down, and pulled a Fanta out of her grocery bag. "And I got this for our Jisung."

"About that." Changbin started. "He won't come tonight. He said something along the lines that Hwayoung was out with some guy and that he didn't want what happened last time to repeat itself."

Last time you hung out all together, Hwayoung had went on a date before joining you and was looking like a wreck. Jisung had to comfort her in Chan's room, and let's say some stuff happened.

"Oh well, I'll have the Fanta, then." you said as you got up to take it from your friend's hand.

Soon enough, the guys came back after they stopped by the convenience store to buy some snacks. While Changbin had already placed the board game on the table, Chunhwa took the time to help Chan out with preparing the ramen soups he bought. Minho sat next to you and thanked the girl as she gave him the food.

"Where is Jisung?" he asked as he started to dig into his soup.

"He's probably comforting Hwayoung again." Changbin answered, which made you feel bad for him.

"If he keeps doing this, he'll end up in a deep depression." you breathed out before the entire room nodded in agreement.

"You're one to say that." Minho said as he nudged your arm.

You glared at him before hitting his arm playfully. You only hoped Chan didn't get what he meant by that. The evening continued as you all picked your pawns to play. You conversed simultaneously since it had been a while since you saw each other. Changbin and Chunhwa were being painfully obvious about their crushes on each other, and Minho kept on bugging you, claiming you were cheating.

"I talked with Eunhee." Chan said, clasping his hands together which took you aback.

"And?" you frowned.

"She accepted my offer. I told you she would."

Your heart sank. No matter when you would talk with him, he always brought her up. Even if you took your feelings out of the situation, it almost looked as if he wasn't your best friend anymore and it hurt. You felt Minho putting a hand on your thigh, probably to bring you some kind of support.

You forced yourself to smile, before managing to say a small "That's great."

You could see that Chan noticed your lack of enthusiasm, but he went on nonetheless. "Yeah, I'll text her the details later. It'll probably be once or twice a week. Depends on her level, honestly."

"Right." you coughed out as you felt a lump forming in your throat, and Minho was quick to notice as he tightened his grip on you slightly. "Sorry, I have a headache. Minho." The boy shot his head up immediately. "Do you mind helping me get some medicine?"

"No, of course." he assured before standing up and offering his hand to help you up.

He gave you a worried smile as you came face to face with him. You didn't know when it started exactly, but he had started to let himself be more vulnerable around you. You almost never saw him having any sort of emotions. Seeing him care this much about you made you feel both weirded out and safe.

Chan watched the scene happen in front of his eyes and frowned in confusion. "Are you alright? I can help if you want and-"

"No." you immediately shut him up. "I'm okay, really. Thanks."

The poor guy was left even more confused when Minho took you away, bringing you to the bathroom. You both closed the door and you stood in front of each other for a moment without saying anything. While he was waiting for you to talk, you genuinely just wanted to enjoy his presence. But as the silence grew, Minho finally decided to break it.

"You could have asked Chunhwa to help you." he said, since he didn't why exactly you chose him to comfort you.

You shrugged, not too sure either. "You were the first person I thought of at the moment. I mean, you had a pretty strong grip on my thigh."

He coughed awkwardly, his ears turning red. "I see. And yeah, sorry about that.

"It's okay. It kind of helped, actually." you admitted.

Another silence took over, but he was the first to speak again. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

Your eyes widened at his proposition. "Are you crazy? Don't do that."

"No, I won't tell him about your crush, or whatever. I can mention to him that it's annoying that he only talks about her." he shrugged his shoulders.

"Min, we both only talk about Chan whenever we are together." you stated the obvious. "I bet you are more annoyed about that."

"Fair enough, but you don't bring up how talented and amazing he is every two seconds."

You laughed at this, and it visibly made Minho relax. If he managed to make you smile a little, that was good enough for him.

"Still, you don't need to do that. It's just as if I'm losing a friend, that's all."

"Do you want to go back home? I can walk you there."

You hummed quietly while nodding a yes slowly. "Actually, yes, that would be nice."

He took a step closer before rubbing the side of your arm, not forgetting to replace the hair that had fallen onto your face as well. "Then, we shall take you home, princess."

You hoped he didn't feel your heartbeat fasten its pace, nor your heavy breathing. He was never a physical person, and his touch felt electrifying. You knew damn well he was only doing this for you to feel better about your whole situation with your best friend, but you were starting to wonder if a part of him actually enjoyed these kinds of moments.

Your train of thoughts was stopped when he let go of you to open the door again, letting you walk out first. As you joined the others, you saw Changbin and Chunghwa being in their own world, and Chan giggling at his phone, most likely texting Eunhee. Oddly enough, it did not pain you as much as it did earlier. Somehow, feeling Minho's body hovering behind you in a protective way compensated.

"I'll go home, if you don't mind." you said to nobody in particular.

Chan let go of his phone, while the two others simply gave you a thumbs up before going on with whatever they were doing. "This early?" Chan asked.

"Sorry, I don't feel so well." you attempted a smile.

Chan stood up and joined you at the front door, concern all over his face. "Let me walk you to your dorm, at least."

You shook you head as a no before gesturing to the man standing behind you. "Minho's coming with me already. Thank you."

"Alright." he trailed off before he gave you a tight hug. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Always. Good night Chan. Bye, guys!" you addressed to the others.

You were quick to leave, and you felt bad Minho had to keep up with your fast walking. Nonetheless, he didn't complain and you found yourself outside of the building soon, breathing in the fresh air.

"What are you going to do for the rest of your night?" Minho asked.

You pondered for a minute, trying to figure out the options in your mind, but nothing came up. "I don't know. Knowing Youngmi, she's already sleeping. That means I can't do much other than sleep too."

"Are you tired?" he asked, and you answered with a no. "My place is close to yours, if you want to hang out."

You never went over at his, meaning you never met his cats. This was a good opportunity to get some cuddles with them, that only if Minho allowed you.

"Do I get to snuggle with Soonie, Doongie and Dori?"

He frowned. "Who do you think you are? Some privileged woman? The cats are off-limit." To that, you pouted at him. "Y/N, no."

"You want to me to feel better or not?"

"You seem to be doing good, now."

"Min, pretty please." you whined like a child.

He let out a sigh, deadpanning at you. "Fine. Not more than an hour of cuddles, though."

Feeling victorious, you took his hand and dragged him rapidly to his dorm. He almost fell from your sudden excitement, which took him by surprise. You were especially strong for someone who barely did anything else than study and work. At his building, he took the lead since you didn't know where he lived exactly. He let you inside first, being the well-mannered man he is, and you were greeted by an orange ball of floof who was visibly confused upon seeing someone who is not Minho.

"Doongie." he said before pointing to the other orange cat who was sitting on the cat tree in the corner of the room. "Soonie. And I have no idea where Dori is."

"You sent me so many photos of them, I would have recognized them without your help."

He sent a glare your way. "Just be grateful you get to meet them."

"Yes, thank you, Min." you laughed before crouching down to pet the cat. "Hello, Doongie." you cooed at him.

Minho huffed at the sight. His cat seemed to be liking you a lot. He went to Soonie, only to see Dori jumping on the cat tree to join his brother. He patted their heads lovingly. At least, he still had those two who didn't betray him. However, he realized he spoke too soon when you joined him to scratch the cats' bellies.

"You traitors." he muttered at his children. "It looks like they love you more than me."

"I'm just that much likeable." you teased.

"Sure you are, kitten."

Your eyes widened as realization hit you. "You call me kitten because of your cats?"

"Why else?" he shrugged as if it was nothing. "I like cats and I like you. This is only logical."

Your eyes went even wider, your heartbeat pacing faster. Did he just tell you he liked you? The Lee Minho who was known to be the most detached person on Earth, the one who never showed his true emotions?

"You like me?" you breathed out.

He rolled his eyes at you. "You're my friend, of couse I like you."

Oh. He meant that kind of liking. You were not certain on why it disappointed you so much. You thought you liked Chan. Well, you did, but ever since Minho came in the picture, you didn't know if you were starting to lie to yourself about your feelings for your best friend.

"Wow, Minho is finally admitting he actually likes having me around."

"Don't let it get into your head too much. This only happened because Chan's busy." he scoffed as he walked to the cupboard in his kitchen. "Now, do you want to feed the kitties?"

You didn't think twice before hopping to join him. You helped him serve the cat food and put it on the ground. You observed them eat together, as you petted their backs. He was babying Dori and Doongie, while you were spoiling Soonie with scratches. Needless to say, you felt like you were two parents watching over their children. And it felt strangely comfortable. If someone told you months prior that you would be in Minho's apartment, feeding his cats, and feeling like you wished it'd be like this all the time, you would not believe them. Because you couldn't quite believe it at this instant.

"Did you want to do something in particular?" you asked after the cats were done eating.

"Hmm." he hummed, thinking for a moment. "We could watch a movie. I have some drinks if you want to do that while watching."

"Sounds good to me."

You opted for a comedy movie while Minho prepared the popcorn and the drinks. You both had already drank a little when you were at Chan's, but some more couldn't hurt. Mid-way through the film, you were already feeling tired and tipsy. Way more than tipsy. Of course, Minho noticed since you were starting to lean on him. He tried to move away, but it was like you were trying to absolutely have some sort of physical contact with him.

"Bruh." he spat out when you were now full on laying on him.

"Uh?" you said as your eyes fluttered opened. "Ah, sorry, Min. I'm just very tired."

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Do you mind if I sleep here for tonight?" you mumbled out and Minho froze.

Normally, he would have kicked you out at that point without any second thoughts. However, your pleading eyes with your tired figure did something to him, and he couldn't just say no to you.

"I'll take the couch."

You pouted before shaking your head violently. "Sleep in your bed. I'll stay here."

"Y/N, you're not okay. Sleep in my bed."

"Or we can sleep together."

You took his lack of answer as a yes, and stood up on your feet clumsily. Luckily, he caught you in time before you tripped on yourself. You grabbed onto him to find some balance as he led you carefully to his bed. Once he tucked you in, he was about to leave, but you took his wrist to stop him.

"I said we can sleep together."

"I'll just wash up, I'll be back."

"Do you have cucumbers?"

He looked at you weirdly. Sure, you were drunk, but this was so random. You explained briefly it was for a skin care routine you wanted to do to relax. Although it now made sense, he didn't quite understand why you wanted to pamper yourself while being so tired. Nonetheless, he obliged and brought you sliced cucumbers.

"I'll go shower while you do your thingy."

"I'll wait for you."

Your behaviour was strange, but you were awfully cute and you smiled widely at him, hurrying him to go wash. He absolutely adored it, but he knew this was only because you drank. He beat himself up for wanting this to be genuine. The picture of you waiting for him to go to bed and falling asleep together was more than appealing to him. However, he had to remind himself that you liked Chan, and that you'd known the latter for years. He could never do that, come in-between the two of you. He finished his shower thoughts by simply telling himself to get over it. He didn't like you. He couldn't like you. Not like that.

When he came back in his room, he was met with the image of you watching a kids show on his personal TV. Some people would act like horny jerks when drunk, but you were a total child. Alongside with you was Dori, whom you had somehow managed to kidnap to cuddle with. Minho loved it. But he couldn't.

"You didn't use the cucumbers." he pointed to the plate, still full of the vegetable.

"I told you I'd wait for you."

He quirked an eyebrow, starting to see where this was going. "I am not doing some self-care shit with you."

"Min..." you pouted.

"No."

You patted the empty side of the bed and, lazily, Minho sat down as he was still glaring at you.

"Please."

"I'm going to sleep."

You huffed. "You're no fun. Chan would have done it."

Oh, how wrong was it of you to say that. It awoke something in Minho. Whether it was jealousy or pride, he didn't know, but he knew he didn't like it. Instantly, he picked two cucumbers and placed them on your cheeks.

"There. Happy?" he grumbled.

"Very much." you giggled. "Your turn."

You spent the next hour or so playing with cucumber slices, either throwing them at each other, eating them, or shoving them on Minho's eyes. It might had been the first time you saw him genuinely having fun. Not cocky or insufferable like he usually was. He was at ease, and so you were.

It was around 1am when you both grew too tired to continue your self-care session. You snuggled into the blankets and brought yourself closer to the man laying next to you. He stood still as he looked right back at you. He didn't stop himself from reaching out to the side of your face, patting your head.

"Thank you for tonight." you mumbled tiredly. "I think I like you too."

He immediately caught on that you were referring to your previous conversation. Fortunately, because otherwise, he would have went on full panic mode.

"That's good, pretty. Sleep well, alright?"

"You too, Min."

You and Minho were definitely no longer friends after that night, but nor had you stopped speaking to each other. Quite the opposite, actually. Think of any act of affection a couple would do, other than kissing, and there you got what was happening between the two of you. Chan had almost disappeared, now spending most of his time with Eunhee. You did visit him occasionally to make sure he wasn't exhausting himself too much but it never lasted more than five minutes. That also meant your crush on him had completely vanished. It couldn't have stayed for long, anyway, after you woke up in Minho's bed that morning, realizing you had fallen in love with him instead.

"Strawberry." Minho said, standing up firmly for his choice of milkshake, as he nudged your arm.

"Chocolate." you said, coming closer to his face.

He sighed in frustration. "We had chocolate last time."

"If you're so pressed with your strawberry, just order one for yourself."

He smirked. "But you want us to share, don't you?"

It was annoying how right he was, and you huffed in defeat. "Strawberry it is."

"There you go. I knew you were going to give up."

"Shut up."

He took you by the waist and brought you closer, as if you were not close enough already on the small cushioned bench. You continued to bicker playfully, when you heard the front door's bell. Turning your attention on where the sound came from, you easily spotted Chan. He stood still, baffled at the sight in front of him. He started to question himself mentally, wondering if he had really cancelled on you two that much that he didn't notice you were dating. Coming back to his senses, he walked to your booth and sat in front of you.

"Hey, guys. Am I interrupting, or..?"

"Of course not." Minho exclaimed. "Glad to see you after, I don't know how long."

You could hear the pettiness in his voice, so you hit him slightly with your elbow before speaking. "We've all been busy, it's okay." you smiled. "So, what's new? How are things with Eunhee?"

"It's good, I guess. We had a... moment, and she is pretty much ignoring me since then. You know, when you came over the other day." he explained, while looking pretty clueless.

"What kind of moment?" Minho asked, stretching his arm out to wrap it around you, which earned a look from Chan.

"Uh, I'm not too sure. We danced in my room-"

You cut him off with a laugh, and he glared at you. "That's the cheesiest thing you could have done. No shit you were acting weird when I came over." you snickered, and Minho soon joined you as he tried to ignore the slight jealousy he felt from learning you went over to Chan's recently.

"Yeah, you two are no better. You were all over each other when I walked in." he rolled his eyes.

That was enough to shut the both of you, knowing well this was an unspoken thing you had going on. You never brought it up, and didn't intend on doing so anytime soon.

"So." Minho coughed out awkwardly. "Your moment?"

"Right." Chan nodded. "Well, we were dancing in my room and, I don't know what happened, but I almost kissed her. And, I don't know, she didn't look like she wanted to, so I back off. And now, I'm lowkey stressing out about it because I surely didn't want to make her uncomfortable."

"She wanted you to kiss her." you responded without hesitation.

"You think so?"

"Chan, I know so." You hesitated to continue with your point, but feeling Minho's hand rubbing your arm let you know it might be time to tell him. "I'm convinced she likes you, because she acts the same way as I did with you."

He frowned his eyebrows. "You like me? Aren't you and Minho... well, you know?"

"I used to, and that's not important." you dismissed the topic. "What I'm saying is she keeps sending you memes to make you smile, she gets shy around you, she said yes to your tutoring..."

"And you told me she even bought you coffee for one of your lessons with her." Minho added.

He looked at you both, still uncertain. "Should I invite her to my party, then?"

"What party?"

"My end of the school term party. In two days."

"Go for it, yeah." Minho encouraged. "Are we invited?"

"If you promise to keep it in your pants, yes."

Right. A party. With girls. And Minho. The guy who hooked up here and there after his breakup with Byeol. The same one you were currently in love with. Great.

"You know me better." he laughed with Chan. "I'll behave, I promise."

Later, on the walk back to Minho's, since you had planned to stay at his place, you were more quiet than usual. You were holding hands, but your grip was loose, and you couldn't focus properly.

"What's wrong, kitten?" he asked worriedly.

"What do you think of Siyeon?" you said, mentioning a pretty girl in your common class.

"What is this question?" he chuckled, not sure in where you were going with this.

"She's cute, has good grades, is nice to everyone. And Chan is going to invite her at the party, probably."

He raised an eyebrow at you. "Your point?"

"You could ask her out." you shrugged.

With that, Minho let go of your hand. "I could, but I won't."

"Why? Sorry, but it just hit me that you haven't gone out with someone in a very long time."

"I don't know. I suppose I'm not very in the mood of fucking around anymore. You also stopped talking about Chan with me. I'm not the only one acting differently." he pointed out.

"I said it earlier, I don't like Chan anymore." you rolled your eyes.

"Well, then. Our romantic lives are bland."

"They are."

The conversation was cut short as he didn't have anything else to say. He took your hand again, and led you to his dorm. You got there pretty quickly, and you still hadn't said a word to each other. It didn't mean you didn't understand what was happening, both of you implying the lack of love you had could only mean one thing.

The moment he closed his front door, he grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer and crashed his lips onto yours. You were taken aback at first, not sure on how you should be reacting, but it quickly faded as you melted into the kiss. While he was needy, he was also being extremely gentle with you, making sure he didn't hurt you in any way. It didn't take long for you to get to his room, and he pushed you down gently on the bed. Now hovering you, he deepened the kiss before moving down to place small pecks on your neck.

"Min." you mumbled between heavy breaths, and he hummed against your skin. "This is not a joke, right?"

He separated his mouth from your skin to look at you curiously. "What do you mean?"

"You used to be very... physical with other girls. I just want to make sure I'm not some doll you're playing with before throwing it away."

He looked at you with fondness as he stroke your cheek softly. "I thought I made it clear I've wanted you for months, now. Not just physically, like you said." He pecked your forehead. "If I can have you." Kissed your cheek. "I don't want the skin ship only, this time." He stopped as he glanced at your lips. "I want all of you."

You were the one to initiate this time when you brought him closer, kissing him hungrily. The unspoken tension there was before was no longer there. It was like kissing each other had dropped all of your walls, and you were now fully exposed to one another.

"I fucking hated it when you cried about Chan." he said in-between the kisses.

"Really?"

"Fuck, yes." he said, going back to sucking your neck.

"I hated how much you flirted with me, knowing you weren't sincere." you admitted.

"Trust me, kitten, I was fucking sincere."

You started to play with the hem of his shirt, tugging in a few times. He backed away and smirked at you before leading your hands to help him take off his shirt. The sight in front of you was mesmerizing. You already had the idea that he had a good body because of his dancing, but you certainly did not expect him to look this hot.

"Damn." you let out without thinking.

"I know, I'm hot." he winked at you.

"Of course, you know." you rolled your eyes.

"I'm joking." he chuckled as he pecked your lips. "Are you okay if we continue? I want you to feel comfortable."

"I'm more than okay."

The party started out well. You had come in advance to help Chan with the preparations, but mostly to help him calm down. The poor guy was so nervous, not knowing whether Eunhee was going to show up or not.

As people kept coming in, you kept on looking out for any signs of Minho. He texted you he had some errands to run for the cats before coming, but you just wanted to see him. After your night together, you spent the next two days doing finals which didn't allow you to meet up again. The morning after, however, he did ask you out on a date to which you gladly said yes. Although labels were not discussed, it wasn't necessary because you both knew you wanted the same thing.

"Hey, Seungmin!" you welcomed the man as you opened the door.

"Still acting like Chan's place is yours?" he joked.

"I've come here so much, it's like my second home." you laughed with him. "Come on in!"

You joined Chan back in the kitchen as he was starting to prepare the snacks. You started helping him out, though you were very much distracted. Looking at your phone every minute or so, Chan pointed it out, making fun of you.

"You tell me to stop doing that with Eunhee, and you're doing the same with Minho."

You froze in place before slowly turning your head to him. "I never told you I was seeing Minho."

"Y/N, you two have been eye fucking each other for weeks. It did surprise me, but I'm not blind. You love him."

You blushed, as shyness crept over. "Yeah, he's really great."

"I can see that. I haven't see you so happy since, well, since forever actually. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, Channie."

You exchanged smiles before going back to preparing the food. It felt great to spend some quality time with him after such a long time.

"You two fucked, haven't you?"

Your eyes widened from his words.

"Chan!"

"What?" he said innocently. "You have dark spots on your neck, that's all."

You grew embarrassed, but couldn't help but laugh. You haven't noticed until now that Minho had marked you that much. You thought he was being gentle enough to not have done so, but it was visibly the opposite. Just then, you noticed a familiar figure appear in front of you, which made the both of you shut up.

"HI! Eunhee, um, wow. You made it! I mean, I didn't expect you to be here. I should, uh-" Chan spilled out, straightening his posture.

Trying to prevent him from embarrassing himself any further, you hit him slightly with your elbow to shut him up before turning your attention to the girl in front of you. "Good to see you."

"You too. I hope I'm not interrupting." she flickered her gaze between the two.

"Of course not!" you both denied, not wanting to give her the wrong image.

Chan stood there awkwardly before starting to walk away. "I should go greet the others. Talk to you later?" he told her, and you gave him a look as to ask him what he was doing.

You didn't know what to say to her. Seriously, it was Chan's responsibility to talk to her and fix whatever happened between them. You just kept on pouring bowls of chips, but ended up speaking.

"I really didn't expect you here. Chan had kind of given up after you ignored him."

It came pettier than what you had intended, but at least the message was there.

"It wasn't intentional. I mean, I did purposely ignore him but I had reasons." she justified, but you shook your head for her to stop.

"I'm not asking you to tell me why, you must have had good reasons. I just..." You hesitated to keep going, afraid you would be saying something you shouldn't. "He told me about how you almost kissed and I'm just letting you know that Chan is not someone to play around with. I don't know why he likes you so much while barely noticing me, but I'm warning you. You don't know him like I do and I know Chan is going to prioritize who he loves first. I don't want this thing going on with you two to be hurting anyone."

Her silence was torturing you as she was processing everything you told her. You replayed the scene in your mind, trying to spot anything you could have said wrongly. But nothing came to you.

"I came here to fix things with him." she finally spoke. "I don't know the history between you two, and visibly you are closer than anyone here. If I hurt you in any way, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pass my class, that's it."

You had definitely fucked up by indirectly mentioning your former crush on the guy. This was obviously not the outcome you were expecting, you simply wanted to let her know that Chan was precious and needed to be taken care of even when he didn't want to.

"No, I-"

"It's okay, Y/N. You two clearly have something going on. I know for a fact Chan doesn't like me like that and he's way better off with you."

She left before you could explain any further. You cursed under your breath as you tried to catch up to her. However, you were stopped when someone brought you into a hug before familiar lips met yours.

"Hey, there." Minho grinned at you. "You're looking beautiful."

While your heart wanted to stay with him and melt at his compliments, your mind knew you had to make things right with Eunhee.

"Thank you, Min. I have to do something real quick. Do you mind getting me a drink in the meantime?" you pecked his cheek. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Alright." he nodded before bringing you into another hug. He leaned on your side so his mouth could be next to your ear. "I'm sorry about the hickeys, by the way."

And he left. He was surely making you feel things, but now was not the moment. You walked through the crowd of people, trying to find Eunhee, but you simply couldn't as there were too many people. Looking behind you, your eyes laid on Chan, alone in the kitchen. You went to him as fast as you could.

"Chan!" you exclaimed out of breath. "Have you seen Eunhee?"

When you took a better look at him, his face had nothing but confusion, sadness, and pure anger.

"What did you say to her?"

And, you were fucked. You shut your eyes closed, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself for the argument that you felt was coming. Chan was rarely mad, but you did not want to be around when he was. Now that he was actually pissed, it was even worse that it was at you.

"So you saw her."

Chan rolled his eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing. "She said you were waiting for me in the kitchen. What have you told her?"

"Nothing untrue, I swear." you breathed out, trying to be careful with your words. "I think she misinterpreted a lot of what I said."

"What did you say exactly?" he asked again, growing impatient.

You took a deep breath in, and searched for any help around, but everyone was having fun and Minho was nowhere to be seen. "I might have spilled out I had a crush on you, but she took it as if I still do." He groaned in frustration, passing his hand through his curly locks. "I also said you like her, and I might have mentioned that you two being together could potentially end up hurting the both of you..."

If you thought he was furious earlier, now he was on full rage mode. Honestly, you had never seen him so mad, and it frightened you quite a bit.

"Why on Earth would tell her that?" he almost growled at you.

"Why? For fuck's sake, Chan, how was I supposed to know what to tell her? You left me there because you were too much of a baby to face her yourself." you snapped at him, which he had seemingly not expected.

"You know me enough to not say shit like that! And I am hosting this whole thing and I saw people coming in. It was the least I could do."

"Fuck off with your lame excuse, because we both know Changbin was already doing so. And for your information, I don't know you as well as I used to because sir decided to disappear out of my life."

He huffed at you as he looked around. He was lost and didn't know what to do now.

"Yeah, I told you already that I'm sorry. But if you love me so much, you wouldn't have told her off by saying you have a crush on me." he yelled out, being heard by almost everyone in the room.

Behind him, you spotted Minho's eyes already staring at you. He was fuming too, walking towards your direction. You didn't know whether he was angry because of you or Chan, but you were definitely worried at that point.

"Y/N." he called out.

"Minho, can we not-"

"So it's Minho, now?" You exhaled loudly, wondering how the night had even taken this turn. "I thought you said you were over him."

"Minho, stay out of this." Chan put his arm in front of him to prevent him from approaching you any closer.

You recognized the protectiveness Chan had of you within his tone, which reassured you a bit that he still cared, at least. Minho didn't fight back, but sent you a disappointed look instead.

"I'll leave you to it, then."

With that, he stormed out of the apartment, not looking back. Meanwhile, the tears you had been holding back until then flooded out and you broke down as Chan held you.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, it's my fault."

The softness he had after being so enraged took you by surprise, but you truly needed your best friend at the moment. "I'm sorry." you sobbed out.

"Y/N, it's okay. Don't be sorry. You know I can be pretty stupid, right?" he pat your head, and you nodded as a small laugh left your mouth. "I'm the one at fault, here. I should have talked to Eunhee myself, and I shouldn't have yelled at you. Minho is very sensitive, you know that, right? He'll come around, I'm sure of it."

It amazed you how he was still able to find the right words for any circumstances. You loved him, for real. But not that kind of love. This one was reserved for Minho. The only thing on your mind was to run after him. You hurt him, and you couldn't bear with the thought.

"Thank you, Chan. I'm also sorry."

He shook his head. "I told you to stop saying that." It made you chuckle.

"Do you think I should go after him?"

He smirked. "Go get your damsel in distress."

Still sobbing, you snorted at his words before you hurried to get out of his apartment. You felt grateful to have went so many times to his place to know his dorm number. Otherwise, you would have given up much quicker. You stopped in front of his door and knocked softly. You heard someone moving from the other side, and heard a sigh.

"Min." you called out.

To your shock, he opened the door, only a bit, and looked at you. He looked tired, and you noticed he had changed into his pyjamas. He hummed as a greeting, obviously still mad at what happened.

"Can we talk?"

He really didn't want to, but your puffy red eyes and simply the sight of you was enough to break him apart. So he let you in. You smiled widely when you were greeted by your favourite cats. You scratched their heads briefly, before turning your attention back on Minho. He was leaning on his counter (which was hot, let's be honest) and crossed his arms as he waited for you to talk.

"I really and certainly do not like Chan."

"Reassuring." he commented, but received a glare from you to tell him to let you speak.

"What happened was he left me alone with Eunhee and I said some things to her that she interpreted as if I still liked him. Chan got mad and he impulsively said that. I told him about us already, he knows."

He frowned at your words. "Us."

"Yeah, us." you repeated, taking a chance by walking up to him.

Thankfully, he let you place yourself right in front of him. He uncrossed his legs so you could have some space, and you approached him. You took his face in your hands, looking at him lovingly.

"What did you tell him about us, precisely?" he asked, placing his hands on your waist.

"I told him that you're great."

"Just that?"

"He knows we fucked."

He raised his eyebrows as he looked up. "Should have expected that."

You slapped his cheek playfully as you pouted, and he chuckled because you were just adorable. "Shut up."

"Sorry. Go on?" he laughed.

You got closer to him, your lips lingering over his. He would have kissed you, but he wanted to hear what you had left to say.

"And I admitted that I might love you."

He backed away, not having expected this. "Love?"

You sighed. "Dude, we've been acting like a couple for months, and we see each other pretty much every day. Don't act surprised."

He frowned even more. "Dude? Really? I call you princess, kitten, or pretty. And I get dude."

"Min." you whined, but he could only laugh.

He loved messing around with you, but he knew when to stop. "I'll be dude if that's what makes you happy, love."

You grinned from ear to ear. "Shall I take this as you love me too?"

"Don't make me say it, kitten."

You chuckled and played with his hair. He adjusted his posture and was now the one hovering you. His eyes went straight to your lips, and he didn't ask to kiss you before doing so. You smiled and kissed him back, not forgetting to hold him close.

"I fucking won over Bang Chan." he bragged after pulling away from you.

"That was an easy win." you snorted.

"Ah yeah? Am I that irresistible?"

"You know you are."

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[tryingmybestpls]

Let The Light In

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Glimpses into a life alongside Joel Miller.

Rating: R

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Canon violence, mentions of sex, graphic depictions of violence and death, depressing themes, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of loss

She knew they weren't meant to last.

She had told herself this every time she snuck out of his bed in the early morning, gathering her clothes as quietly as she could as the sun slowly starts to rise over the QZ. There wasn't supposed to be any feelings attached to this, to these nights that they have together and she repeats that over and over as he snores softly. It's just an even exchange, that's all. A way to let off some steam, a way to get their needs met.

They weren't supposed to be that close. They weren't friends-there wasn't really friends anymore. Her and Joel-well, they were really more like coworkers.

Coworkers that fucked, but coworkers nonetheless.

I mean, it was normal, wasn't it? Before all of this carnage, before the world fell apart, coworkers fucked each other. It was completely normal.

Again, that's what she also told herself.

She'd slip out of his apartment and would see him later on, when their paths would cross during whatever jobs they'd be doing that day. They would acknowledge each other in the moment, but they'd keep it at that. She had tried her best to just keep it at that-at the nights they shared together.  She wouldn't get hurt if all they had together were those nights. Those few hours in his tiny little bed.

But life couldn't be that simple. She knew better than that.

"What was your favorite TV show?" He asks one night, moonlight steaming in through the dirt and grime on the windows of his apartment. The question is out of character for him and they both know it. They don't talk about before, but either way, she gives in. She can't help it, this small tiny slice of domesticity. She's greedy and she knows it.

"Law and Order: SVU. I liked that the bad guy always got caught." She replies, turning onto her side so she can look at him, "However, my mom made me watch Dateline and 48 Hours with her. She wanted to make sure I was never taken, y'know...normal shit."

He can see a shift in her eyes as she remembers those memories. He gets that glimpse into her family, into how she was raised. All that he knew about her family was that they're were long gone, their bodies scattering the United States from California to Connecticut. Now he knew that her mom was paranoid, terrified that something bad was going to happen to her kids. Just like he had been with Sarah.

They'd both been right.

But he doesn't say this, he keeps this observation to himself. He knows he can't stay silent for long, because the longer the silence the more she's thinking about everything that has happened. So he just nods, his arm tucked behind his head. He looks like he's seriously thinking about his answer, wanting to give her the God's honest truth.

"The Sopranos-Tommy and I used to watch it. I paid a little every month for that damn show." He shakes his head at the thought of it, as if he is still annoyed. She smiles, trying her best to stop the almost girlish giggle that almost escapes her mouth. He catches the sound almost immediately, raising an eyebrow at her as the corners of his mouth turn upwards ever so slightly, "You laughin' at me, girl?"

Oh, she was so fucked.

-

Sometimes she'll dream of him.

She knows it's a bad sign-a dangerous one, even- but she can't control her subconscious. And she surely can't control those dreams she has of him and her, a farm somewhere out west, and two little mini-me's that have his hair and her eyes. And she can't control the ache she gets in her chest when she awakes, grieving something that isn't real, something that she can never have.

On the days that follow those dreams, the world is a little colder and Y/N is a little quieter. Joel isn't much of a talker, but he notices. He doesn't pry, of course-it's not his place and he knows it. They carry on with their day and she think about whether or not they should end things, if it was all going too far. Surely it had to be-he was lodged deep inside of her self conscious, he was something she just couldn't shake.

And then the next day, she'd be face down in his bed, his hands gripping her hips, the cycle only continuing. She's in too deep and she knows it, but she just can't stop. She's addicted to him and she just can't get enough.

-

When Ellie enters the the picture, their situation changes.

Gone are their nights together. Now all they get is glances at each other-knowing looks behind the kid's back-and quiet talks when they know she's asleep. He'll hold her when the nights get too cold and she starts to limit her food intake so there is a little more food for both him and Ellie. If he notices, he doesn't say a word.

Their relationship changes after Bill and Frank's, after that letter Bill had penned to Joel. They try to ignore it, ignore the questions that Ellie fires their way after she reads it. Y/N's cheeks burn as she snatches the letter from Ellie, telling her to run upstairs and shower. The teen rolls her eyes at the two of them, muttering how two of them just want to get rid of her so they can suck each other faces. As soon as she is upstairs, Joel grabs Y/N and slams his lips against hers, kissing her like it's the last thing he might do. Her cheeks are wet, but neither of them acknowledge it.

His hand is on her thigh all the way to Kansas City.

Kansas City is where Y/N's motherly instincts-as Joel outs it- seemingly kick in. She's constantly asking if Ellie is okay, and when Sam and Henry join them, she does the same with them. Joel teases her about it, tells her to stop being such a mother hen. She tells him that she'll only stop when he does. He rolls his eyes in response.

She starts to think how different it could be-the five of them, all together. She hadn't thought about life turning into something like...this. To a sort of family. She wonders if it's possible for them to take care of the three of them

When things go belly-up in the motel room, she immediately wraps her arms around Ellie, tears springing in both of their of eyes. She tells the kid over and over to not look, even though they both are. Joel is frozen in place, his eyes going from the two bodies on the ground and to the two women holding each other.

-

The snow is starting to stick to the ground when they reach Wyoming.

A part of her longs for a life in Jackson. Everything seems so...normal. Kids runnin' around in the street without a care in the world, there's even a Christmas tree in the town center.  Joel sees the way she looks away, looking down at the ground and he wonders when the last time she celebrated anything was.

She watches him embrace his brother and she's happy for him, she truly is-but she can't ignore the way her throat starts to tighten. She looks away, finding something to focus on in the distance, her nails digging into her palm. If Ellie notices, she keeps it to herself.

She's surrounded by families, with big happy smiles stretched across their faces. Maria and Tommy are talking, explaining everything about their safe haven, but Y/N doesn't hear a word of it. She just follows them, her hands shoved into the pockets of her coat. She doesn't even realize Maria is taking to her until Ellie nudges her.

"Sorry-What was that?" She asks, looking up at her. Maria offers her a smile, clasping her hands together.

"I was saying that I'm going to show you guys where you're going to be staying while Tommy and Joel go catch up. Is that okay?" Maria tells her and Y/N smiles back, nodding. She stays quiet as Maria gives them a tour of the house. She doesn't know how to quite respond to this whole situation, how to think about it all, how to react. Y/N manages to sneak away from the conversation, hiding in the bathroom under the guise of showering. She turns on the knob and sits on the edge of the tub. Y/N buries her face into a towel and starts sobbing. She doesn't even know what she's crying about, all she knows is that she doesn't stop until Joel comes in and wraps her in his arms.

Her and Joel get into a fight when he tells her that he isn't going to take Ellie to the Fireflies, that he just couldn't do it. It's a true, honest to God fight. She calls him an asshole, he calls her a dumb kid who doesn't know what she's talking about. He tells her that he's scared of how close he's getting with Ellie, of how close he's getting with her. Y/N tells him that just 'cause he's abandoning Ellie that doesn't mean she will. Y/N says that she'll go with Tommy, that she'll make sure she's safe. She tells him not to bother with waiting for her to come back-especially since he's so worried about how close they're getting.

The next day when her, Tommy, and Ellie arrive at the stables, Joel is there waiting for them and the three of them leave on two horses.

That night when they stop, Joel waits for Ellie to fall asleep before he apologizes to Y/N for what he said, for how he acted. She accepts it and when Ellie wakes up in the morning, she finds them fast asleep, curled up next to each other.

On their way to the college, Joel teaches Ellie how to shoot with the rifle. Y/N tells her about how it was before-at least as much of it as she remembers. Joel teaches her about sports, Y/N talks about how different Boston is from where she lived in California with her family. Joel tries to convince Ellie that Texas was far better than California, but the teen isn't convinced. Ellie reads them jokes from her book, making the two adults laugh and groan. Her and Ellie tease Joel the whole time about his dreams of sheep ranches and singing. It's sweet and it gets Y/N's mind off of all the things she was thinking about back in Jackson.

When Joel falls off the horse, Y/N jumps off of hers. His shirt is drenched in crimson and her hands immediately fly to the wound, putting pressure on it. She had known as soon as he had yanked that wood out of him that he was going to bleed out but she-she had just thought that it wasn't going to happen somehow. That somehow, God-willing, this was just going to all workout.

"Joel? Shit..." Ellie is suddenly right behind her, her eyes on the where Y/N's bloodstained hands are putting pressure. The older woman quickly takes her knit cap, pressing it on the wound.

"Don't do this to me, Joel-You can't do this to me." She tells him over and over, tears rolling down her cheeks. Ellie is still calling his name, begging him to get up as Y/N keeps murmuring, "God damn it, don't do this to me, baby."

-

"You need to sleep."

She lays in between Ellie and Joel in that cold little basement. Her eyes watching the fall rise of his chest, making sure he's still there.

"I'm alright, Ellie-Just get some rest." She replies, turning her head for a moment, looking at the kid. She can barely make out her face in the darkness, but Y/N can feel her eyes on her. There's silence for a moment and Y/N hopes that Ellie had finally fallen asleep-

"Did-Did you have kids too?" Ellie questions, her voice quiet as if she doesn't want to wake Joel. Y/N turns her head to look at the ceiling, her hands resting on the blanket covered ground. Her index finger taps against the cold concrete.

"Not when it first happened-I was around your age when it all went to shit." Y/N replies, just as quietly, "There was-I was...once."

"Was it-Was it-?" Ellie doesn't know how to quite say the words as Y/N blinks away any tears that threaten to fall. She doesn't know why she's saying any of this-doesn't know why she doesn't tell Ellie to drop it and go to bed. Joel is so much better at not talking about things, about keeping secrets.

"Yeah. He-I never told him." Y/N voice is just as soft, barely loud enough for Ellie to hear. The words hang heavy in between them and she knows they Ellie is still processing the news when she adds, "Please-Please don't tell him. It'd break his heart."

That night she dreams about what never was-she dreams of Ellie chasing after a little boy that looks just like his father.

-

Her mind is racing when they get captured by David and his people.

Before all this, before Ellie entered her life, she would've done anything to escape-would've fought tooth and nail just to get scot-free, but things have changed. Now she can't do just anything- no, now she has to have a plan, one in which all three of them are okay. So she starts planning-trying to think of what she could possibly do so that Ellie can be safe, so that Joel will safe.

They try to pick the locks, try to unscrew any bolts that might be loose. The window is jammed. Their weapons are gone.

When David starts saying shit with disgusting undertones, Y/N lashes out. She spits and yells at him, calling him every name in the book. She gets beat-her blood splattering on the floor and walls. One of her eyes swells shit after the beating, her lip split. Her chest aches-it hurts when she breathes, making her think that they must've cracked a rib or three. Even then, she makes sure she's in front of Ellie.

And then they see the human ear laying on the floor.

David brings them stew and they both refuse to eat it. Ellie kicks the bowls away and

Y/N tries to rise to her feet, wanting to-needing to protect Ellie, but she can't. The conversation once again takes a turn for the worse, which makes Y/N stomach twist, even more than the cannibalism had.

When Ellie breaks David's finger after his suggestion, Y/N smiles and says quietly, just loud enough for Ellie to hear, "That's my girl."

Yet the pride soon disappears when David and three of his men reappear and once again, Y/N moves to guard Ellie. David opens the cage, shoving the older woman aside in order to pull Ellie away. Y/N quickly gets up, pushing through the pain, yelling at the men to stop, to leave the kid alone, to take her instead. The two slam Y/N into the chain link fence, forcing her to watch as David and the other man force Ellie down onto the butcher's block. The older woman tries to fight back, yelling and screaming, the chain link tearing into her skin.

When Ellie swings the cleaver the man with the beard's neck, Y/N swings her head back, connecting the back of her skull with a man's nose. He cries out in pain as David shoots at Ellie as she escapes. Y/N manages to grab a knife from the injured man, quickly bring it up into his chest before the other man can stop her. One man falls while the other charges at her, slamming her into the wall, making the knife fall from her hands.

But she fights like she's never fought before because she knows that Ellie needs her. She claws at her captors eyes, making him scream out in pain. Then his arm is against her windpipe, cutting off her breathing. She reaches blindly, trying to grab something, anything.

She can smell smoke just as her hand wraps around the blade of the knife. The man puts more of his weight on her neck, spots starting to dot her vision. She grips the knife, the blade digging into her palm as she brings it up and forcing it into the man's head. It makes a sickening sound, an unnerving crunch.

She shoves the body off of her as she gasps for air. She uses the chain link to pull herself up before she limps out of the room.

By the time she leaves the area they were being held in, David is dead and the place is up in flames. Y/N pulls Ellie up and into her arms, hugging her for a second, before telling her they have to go. Their arms are wrapped around each other as they make their way out of the back of the restaurant. The only noise being the sound of their harsh breathing and the fire crackling behind them as it devours the building.

And then suddenly, Joel's there, holding both of them. He presses his lips against Y/N's temple, telling them over and over that he's got them, that they're safe. He calls Ellie babygirl and he calls Y/N sweetheart. Y/N holds onto him and Ellie tightly, never wanting to let go, tears streaming down her cheeks.

-

She's killed for him before, and he's killed for her. It was just apart of their lives, it just happens. If you want to survive, you have to get dirty. But now? Now, there's something behind each kill.

It's so much more feral.

She wears the blood with honor, with a sense of pride. I protected you both, I'm protecting my own. It's the same for him. He mows through people for her, for Ellie, for whatever this little group is. They both do it without a second thought, without any hesitation.

And they destroy that hospital in Salt Lake City together, hunting down every son of a bitch that wanted to hurt their girl. Joel carries Ellie out in his arms, Y/N follows right beside him, her finger not leaving the trigger of her gun until Marlene is dead and both of them get in the car with their girl.

Once again, his hand is on her thigh the whole time.

They lie through the teeth to Ellie. They agree that what she doesn't know, won't hurt her. She's alive, she's with them-that's all that matters. The three of them are still together and that's all that matters.

"You don't have to stay with me, y'know that right?" Joel murmurs to her as they stand next to each other, their eyes on Jackson in the distance. She turns her head to look at him and he meets her gaze.

"What, you tryin' to get rid of me, Joel?" She asks, a small smile appearing on her face. He can't stop the way the corners of his mouth turn upward.

"I would never, darlin'." He replies, smiling back at her. Y/N grins, just as Ellie starts yelling at them to get a room.

In the back of her mind, a little voice tells her that this-their little family, their little life together-that it won't last. She ignores it, shoving it aside as her hand wraps around his, her lips pressing against his scruffy cheek as Ellie makes gagging noises.

[multifandomwhore-003]

Mouthful

Pairing: Ethan Landry x female! reader

Summary: After a very special encounter at Chad's party, Ethan decided to reach again

Genre(s): pre-smut (?), fluff

Warnings: cursing, mentions of a blow job

Taglist: @seriluvsya @h34rtsformilli @bella7866 , join here

A/N: I'm sorry for being a fucking tease, I just have no idea how to continue it

Gif credits to whom it belongs

𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚗

REQUESTS CLOSED

THIS IS NOT FREE USE, YOU CANNOT USE MY WORK

Reblog if you like

"I- I told you, I don't do one-night stands," he desperately argued.

"I told you I did, and you still agreed," you tilted your head.

He sighed.

"Calm down baby girl-"

"Could you please stop calling me that?!" he whispered-yelled, looking around to make sure no one heard you.

"Why?" You were still looking through the bookstands.

"I don't like nicknames as it is, especially not that one,"

"Oh," you stopped, "I wasn't replacing your name with anything, Ethan, I'm just pointing out one of your many characteristics," you turned to him, eyes finally on him.

He readjusted his backpack nervously, avoiding the powerful gaze.

"What? You're seriously gonna stand here and straight-up lie to yourself and say you're not baby girl?"

He adorably blushed from the apple to his cheeks, to his ears, reaching all the way down to his neck, "That's-" he tried to snap out of it, "That's not the point,"

"You were the one who brought it up," you shrugged resuming your search, "Besides, you can barely call that a one-night stand,"

"What would you call it then?"

"A... consensual exchange of pleasure between two very stressed students,"

"That's a very long way of saying you-" he clenched his jaw.

"I... what? Sucked you off? You're right, although I gotta thank you for that, I'm so much better and mouthfuls now," you winked at him, "Great stamina by the way," you hit his shoulder.

"Listen," he placed himself in front of you, "I know you don't give a shit, but I do,"

You took a deep breath.

"It was a big deal to me,"

You couldn't help but slightly cringe, but gave him a chance anyway, he looked so desperate you almost felt bad for him, "I ask again, why?"

"Because," he cleared his throat, "It was the first time that's ever happened to me," he confessed, his tone barely above a whisper.

You were taken aback, "Bullshit!"

Someone from a few rows back let out a loud 'Shh'

He apologized before looking back at you with comical confusion, "What do you mean bullshit?"

"It means you're a fucking liar,"

"Why would I lie about that?"

"I- I-" you shook your head, "I don't know, but I just- I don't believe you,"

"I don't know whether to feel flattered or offended," he let out.

"There's just no damn way you're a virgin,"

"What-" he scratched his head, "What makes you say that?" he put his hand in his pockets while pursing his lips.

"Uh," you were still shocked, "Your- your face, for one," you gestured, "Puppy eyes, fleshy lips," you kept thinking, "For fucks sake, Ethan, you're a swimmer!" you kept moving your hands, "I've seen you in a fucking speedo, water dripping, you're a 6 foot something muscular eye candy!" you laughed in disbelief, "You're sweet, you're super freakishly smart, you've read, Jane Austen, Agatha Christi, and Leigh fucking Bardugo; sure, you're Starwars fan and you know way too much about Mike Flanagan, but come on! Anyone and I really mean, anyone would gladly overlook that," you tried to recover your breath, "So yeah, I'm sorry for not beliving you about being a virgin,"

He furrowed his brows, "When did you see me in my speedo?"

"That's the part you're focused on after I ranted about how great of a fucking catch you are?" You widened your eyes, "You're unbelievable, I meant that both as a good and a bad thing," you pushed him out of your way, "And to answer your question, I walked a friend who's on the female swim team to her practice yesterday, I'm not a fucking stalker for Christ's sake," you clarified, "And the rest of information you told me yourself,"

You referred to two nights ago when Chad threw his birthday party, he actually introduced the two of you that same night, he thought complaining about schoolwork was enough to make a good match.

You sat on top of one of the tables, "Look, I'm sorry for... seducing you if you will, and then leaving without a trace," you couldn't completely hide the fakness.

He looked down, "Thank you, for the apology and confidence boost,"

You chuckled, "I meant all of it,"

He nodded trying to hide his very strong flush.

You scanned the boy infront of you, a part of you didn't wish to see him after the 'incident' let alone talk to him, but if you had to be honest with yourself, you were more than glad to have him chasing you around campus all day trying to find even a speck of courage to walk up to you. There was a slight moment of excitment in your eyes, as you noticed he was struggling with himself wether to stay or not, he made his choice by resignating to place his bag on the table next to the one you chose, you knew what he was doing, trying to make it seem as he planned all along to work here and 'conincidentally' run into you. You made your choice as well, by getting up and snatching the notebook out of his hands.

"Obviously you have fucking good hand-writing," you scoffed leafing through it, "And is that-" your eyes squinted, "Fountain pen?"

"Y-yeah," he aswered.

"Of course it is," you pulled out a chair to continue your observation in a more comfortably postition.

Ethan didn't know you that well, but he sure as hell wasn't going to try and take something from you, so he just proceeded to grab another set of things for another homework. You on the other hand, wasted no time in reaching the very end of the pages, where the good stuff was, the free space whre everyone draws terrible sketches, writes pending tasks or random thoughts in any way shape or form; and yet it seemed he didn't have anything, just purely white paper. You rolled your eyes, there had to be more to him, something to make him more interesting that the perfect and sweet guy you gave a blowie to, something that could justify why you wanted to fuck him so badly right now, the urge had to be justified with something else than the cutest nerd you'd ever seen, but he didn't seem to help you.

In a breef moment of boredom, you wondered about his intentions, more specifically why he wanted to talk to you in te first place, what would he win out of an apology or simply a glimpse of regret? Did he regret it? Maybe. Perhaps he didn't regret what happened (clearly not by the way he was moaning so loud you were sure the entire crowd heard him), perhaps he just regreted there was no chance it could happen again.

"Ethan," you said softly, eyes filled with intention, feline almost.

"What?" he turned to you.

"I know you're not here to make me feel bad," you reached the cover of his book and slowly closed it, purposely making your bodies closer, to which you heard his breath hitched, "Would you like to walk me back to my apartment?"

He gulped, "Aren't- aren't your roommates there?"

"On a friday night?" You asked rhetorically, "What a silly question for such a smart little brain,"

.

.

.

Lmk if I should do a part two, I just don't know how to continue it so if you have any ideas pls send them it would really help a lot

[emmabirb8]

I've been an Invader Zim fan since 2011.

I was 15-16 at that time, and though I did thoroughly enjoy the show, I was not mature enough to really get it. Sure, it was funny, but I didn't pick up on the subtleties and style of humor beyond the surface level. I liked the wackiness and the characters, but I SURELY wasn't at a point of being able to deconstruct themes or analyze character motivations and narratives (like I very much enjoy doing now). I remember discovering an artist on DeviantArt who drew cute ZaGr stuff, so that was the pairing I liked too. I didn't think too deeply about much, and honestly, I don't think the majority of fans (if they were my age or younger, that is) did either. Everything was taken as dumb and silly for the most part, and that IS truthfully a major component of the show itself.

Getting back into Invader Zim within this past year though, I'm looking at it through a WILDLY different lens. I like Invader Zim for what it is and how it's intended to be perceived. I like that the show is meant to be dark, satirical, and tragic at the same time that it's silly, chaotic, and nonsensical. Almost everything that happens onscreen is written in to be funny above all else. (I've mentioned before that I've been watching Jhonen's Twitch streams for a while now, and I have a MUCH better understanding of his sense of humor bc of that. IZ makes way more sense if you can sorta see things from JV's perspective, lol.)

But at the same time, I also like Invader Zim for what it offers in terms of interpretation and what it can imply (intentionally or not). There is genuinely SO MUCH DEPTH to this dorky lil cartoon that a casual viewer wouldn't immediately pick up on. And a lot of that depth, I think, was not woven in purposely. The show itself was never meant to be taken so seriously. Nevertheless, I'm constantly fascinated by what IZ implies about good and evil, the nature of general society, and especially how it goes about demonstrating the devastating effects of social isolation and bullying. Meta for this series is always pretty damn *chef's kiss.* And what's even more interesting is how viewers manipulate canon to expand upon this world and these characters.

Given that I've come to understand Invader Zim better, I've also grown very fond of ZaDr. Now, while I wouldn't want to see this pairing happen in canon material, I love the potential it possesses in transformative contexts.

In reality, I get that these characters were intended to have a deep hatred for one another and a never-ending rivalry for the sake of comedy and not much else. It's an extraterrestrial perpetually throwing hands with a 12 year old because he's incompetent and his plans often fail. And that's funny. That's the point. But beyond that, canonically, these are two characters who are mirrors of each other; they're both treated like garbage by their respective peers, and they both crave acknowledgment, validation, and a sense of purpose. Throughout their story, they find they're only able to obtain these things from each other, so as a consequence of their similar personalities, they become utterly, unhingedly obsessed with each other (to a sometimes unhealthy degree). They are undeniably forever intertwined by design of how the show is set up.

And because of that, shipping of these characters was, frankly, inevitable in fandom spaces. I myself fell victim to their appeal too. (Sorry, Jhonen. 😅)

I'm not gonna go into any discourse surrounding this pairing because there's already PLENTY of that to go around online. Everyone has their own opinion on the subject, and that's fine. I respect that. Point is, even though I understand and appreciate what Zim and Dib are supposed to be in the context of the show, I also enjoy the idea of them as friends and romantic partners outside of and beyond the confines of canon.

And that's something that I think many fans who are biased toward ZaDr would also agree with! Actually, I'd say the majority of people who ship characters in ANY media would concur. We like the idea of seeing how specific relationships could develop over time and/or within different settings and circumstances. It's NOT always about wanting to see a relationship unfold on screen or in fan works strictly adhering to canon. It's about stretching canon, or in some cases, scratching canon entirely however you see fit! Who cares! It's fiction!

For me personally, I enjoy ZaDr because its attributes fall into so many trope categories that I've come to adore over the years (ones that I either wasn't aware of when I was younger, or that I didn't enjoy in the same intensity as I do now). Zim and Dib are, or could be, depending on context:

Codependent toxic soulmates

Human x non-human

Shared history

Classic enemies to lovers (or, as I often prefer it, enemies to friends to lovers)

Bicker couple

Battle couple, when put in the right setting for it

Violence as a love language

Smol and tol

The wild card paired with the rational one, the best part about this being that sometimes the more rational one is Dib, and sometimes it's Zim bc they're both a special flavor of insane

Make each other worse/stupider when together, tho oddly, they also kinda bring out the best in each other too

And, my personal favorites, the potential for hurt/comfort and angst with a happy ending, with the comfort and happiness aspects ultimately coming from each other

I like what these characters could be, to and for each other, apart from their roles in the show.

I would never want to explore a dynamic between Zim and Dib that goes beyond "frenemies" territory in canon (because that doesn't fit what the show is, and I do appreciate the integrity of Jhonen's vision). The subtle foundation for them is there, it's just that it can't really work unless a few key details are changed or manipulated, and, well...

I sure as hell like exploring every bit of that expanded potential in fan works because it's fun to imagine the various directions things could go if they were different!

This isn't me, like... trying to defend my (or anyone else's) enjoyment of this particular ship or trying to convince people to like it. Or the show for that matter! To each their own, truly. And I'm obv aware of the controversy ZaDr often incites and why. Everyone has valid reasons for liking OR not liking it, and I accept differing viewpoints on it. It's a touchy, nuanced subject to be sure. But this isn't about that.

I don't really know what this is, actually, aside from a very long very weird essay, lol. I just wanted to process why and how all of this works for me with my changed perspective from when I was first introduced to Invader Zim in my teens up until now.

It's strange, looking back. I didn't get ZaDr years ago. But I do now, and so much of it, at least from my perspective, has to do with taking the crumbs present in canon (that are undeniably there, whether you choose to acknowledge them or not, and whether they're intentional or not) and absolutely running with them to the ends of your own wild imagination.

(ZaDr content is always tagged appropriately on my blog. Pls use tag blocking functions if needed.)

[ficoandleo]

"This is so stupid. . . ." Leo grumbled, carefully scanning the index pages of a particularly large book. "Like, could they not have just uploaded this for easier reading? Is there really not an anomaly that does that?"

They have an anomaly for damn near everything else--including that goat that prints papers--but apparently scanning books and files wasn't on that list. He groaned and stretched and slammed the book shut, concluding that there wasn't anything relating to his search in it and shoved it to the side. The librarian cat yowled at him from somewhere beyond the shelves in protest.

"Oh my god." Leo rolled his eyes and waved it off, although it couldn't see him. "I'm sorry, okay? I'll go back to being a good, quiet little bookworm." And, with a mutter, "not like there's anyone else in the library anyway."

The cat sounds quieted down, and Leo looked over the books he'd already read and photographed the pages of and taken notes on, then grabbed his phone to look them over. Tired eyes noticed the time--almost 6 in the morning, maybe someone else would be in the library by now--and he sighed in frustration.

All of these books and there was hardly any information on the 'Kyklos' Edward Hart had mentioned.

He had delved into adjacent concepts in case they were related. Cyclopses, cycles, various parasitic plant anomalies, anomalies that reproduced by way of spread of a curse. He wanted to read the case file for the missions that had already been conducted relating to Kyklos--including the one that the honor student had been cursed on--but somebody else had taken them out.

"And of course they don't have a digital copy of most of them. . . ." He grumbled, double checking. He had no problem accessing the classified and restricted sections of library information with a little hacking--that stuff often had digital copies because they were relevant enough to be sent to the Institute proper--but his search had wound up rather fruitless on the Kyklos front.

'Am I seriously gonna have to go into that gross forest and ask that guy questions. . . .' Leo thought to himself, shoving the books into various book carts in case someone wanted to find them later--a minor inconvenience, but more difficult to find research material meant a marginally better chance that Vagastrom would be the ones to resolve this whole curse situation, right?

Leo huffed a little laugh to himself.

As though those meatheads would be able to figure it out. It was pretty much up to him and Sho. Would Sho go to Obscuary with him? Of course he would. Sho would do damn near anything Leo asked. It's not like he had anything better to do.

"Uuuugh I'm tiiiireeeed!" Obscuary would have to wait though. Although if Ed was a vampire, surely he would be going to sleep around now himself? Sho had probably stayed up all night watching basketball--again--and Leo had been doing more research than most people would give him credit for, so. . .evening would work out better for everyone, right?

The trip back to Vagastrom was an uneventful one, and the quick shower and bath he took got him ready for bed. Trying to sleep, however, was disrupted by Alan calling a(n unplanned! And probably unnecessary!) meeting just before he could drift off.

It was always something around here. . . .

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Outsiders Prompt fic 1- Aren't you tired of this?

This for @battleslippers who requested prompt #6 and Tim Shepard

******************

“Heyyy Tim,” Curly was sprawled out on the sofa for the third time this week, glassy eyed and sloppy. Ma was beside him, eyes the sort of bright Tim knew could go from nice to nasty in an instant and for a second he thought he might cry.

He didn’t- of course he didn’t- but he could’ve. Shit, Curly was takin’ this whole situation real hard. He’d always liked his booze a bit too much but Tim figured that was just part of their DNA. This was something else though. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his kid brother truly sober.

“Timmy,” Ma smiled and Tim felt his shoulders tense. There was no good ending to his mother’s brief moments of excitement. He’d survived enough of her tantrums and rages to know it, “come sit with us! Have a drink.”

She’d always liked him the best.

“No,” he tugged the bottle of tequila out of Curly’s hand, “I think you’ve both had enough.”

Ma’s face darkened, “I am your mother. Don’t think you can tell me when I have and haven’t had enough.”

His mother. Right. Maria Shepard wasn’t his mother. She was a child without a childhood. A baby who’d had babies. A monster of her own making.

“Fine,” he knew better than to argue. They wouldn’t make it through the afternoon without her screaming, but if he played his cards right they might get a few more hours of peace, “but Curly’s done.”

She didn’t fight him. She never did when it came to the twins, never had, never once even wanted to. 

“Aw that ain’t fair,” Curly protested, but his voice was slurred and he was too drunk to stand on his own let alone fight him on it. Tim passed the liquor over to Ma, who immediately took a swig. “I wasn’t- wasn’t finished.”

“Oh you’re finished all right,” moving to the side of the couch, he wrapped one arm around Curly's thin shoulders- christ the kid needed to eat more- and hauled him to his feet, half carrying, half dragging him down the hall to his room. 

He dumped him onto the mattress on his side of the room. Angela had propped hers up on milk crates years ago but Curly had always left his on the ground, always slept curled up in the far corner, even when he was a baby, like if only when was small enough and far enough beneath notice he could ever have a chance at resting.

“Aren’t you tired of this?” Tim asked, “The boozin’ and the drugs- don’t say you ain’t tried anything, why else would you be a mama’s boy all of a sudden? Seriously kid, you’re killin’ me here.”

“Nah,” cloudy blue eyes blinked at him, “I’m killin’ myself.”

A shock of panic shot through him like lightning.

“Shut up!” He shook his kid brother’s shoulders half desperately, “You ain’t! Shut up!”

The faintest hint of that troublemaker grin showed on his face, “you can’t stop me.”

“Watch me.”

Curly’s eyes filled with tears. Tim couldn’t say he didn’t expect it. Drunk folk were awful predictable, even though Curly was- per usual- trying to give him a heart attack.

“He’s gone, Tim,” Curly’s voice broke, the drunken grin and sardonic comments replaced with such genuine misery Tim can feel it stinging even him, “they- the socs- the socs killed him. Drowned him in a fountain like-like he wasn’t nice and smart and good-”

“-I know,” Tim doesn’t really do affection and Curly doesn’t usually like it but shit the kid needs something, and per usual Tim is all he’s got, so he pulls him into a hug tight enough to bruise even though its clunky and awkward not a Shepard type thing to do. Those damn socs had already taken one east side kid this month. He’d be damned if he let them take another- even indirectly. He’d be damned if they took Curly. “Shit kid, I know.”

“He was my friend.” Tim knew that wasn’t strictly true. Ponyboy Curtis had always meant more to Curly than a simple friend.

“I know.”

 Curly swallowed convulsively before starting to sob in earnest, tears soaking into Tim’s sweatshirt. 

“It’s ok,” Tim said, knowing it wasn't any sort of ok, “it’ll be alright.”

They stayed like that until Curly finally fell asleep.

[axcel-lucci]

FUCKING FINALLY!

Trafalgar Law x reader

Note: this is my brainrot so that means it may or may not be that good.

It was a very hot and bright day in the middle of the ocean, a great day to do laundry for the heart pirates

(Y/n) carried baskets of now clean but still wet blanks out on the deck to hang, and as she hung them and clipped them to the line so they won't fall, Law appears.

Though he looked quite distraught, which isn't that much new considering his sleep schedule and work.

"(Y/n)-ya..." He called and took big large strides just to get to her in a few steps

"Hmm...?" She hummed as she looked up at him

"I need your honest opinion" he said

"Alright" she smiled brightly as law nodded and started to hype himself up by breathing exercises and telling himself he could do it.

'do what, exactly?' she thought as she watched him, presumably, calming his poor heart.

"So here it goes." He huffed, "would you go out... With me?"

"Huh?" She was taken a back, not by the proposal, but by how he said it.

It was said in a quick manner, as if he blurts it out just to get that heavy feeling off.

"I-i meant what I said" he cursed himself when he stammered.

"No... That's not what I meant" she laughed softly, "what I mean was that... I was just taken a back by your sudden confession... I... Honestly didn't expect you to like me... And... Yes... I would LOVE to go out with you"

He seemed ecstatic, to say the least...

Like a kid when it's mother said "fine" to it wanting a new toy it wanted for months.

"Really?!" He mused happily; "you really would??"

She laughed and nodded

"Great...! Are you okay to have a breakfast date with me tomorrow? We're arriving at an island, so..."

"I think that would be lovely" she smiled as he grinned

"Great...! Meet you here tomorrow by... 7?"

She just nodded as he smiled once more and raced back inside.

It honestly made her laugh at how enthusiastic he is about it, too.

Next day...

(Y/n) decided to wear a yellow off shoulder dress designed with big and small sunflowers at the bottom as it stopped right by her knees, and also wore some flat shoes.

"Should I do my make up...?" She asked to herself before shrugging and just put on some lipgloss instead.

She soon found herself walking over to law once she spots him at the deck

He left his sword and hat by his room so that no one would draw attention to them,

"You look beautiful..." He muttered when he was checking her out

It made her smile softly, "thank you"

His eyes immediately snap to hers, clearly saying she wasn't supposed to hear that, it honestly made her chuckle softly.

"A-are you ready...?* He damned himself for being this nervous as she smiled tenderly.

"Yes... I am ready" she answered

Meanwhile, the crew were literally punching the air at how their plan had worked.

Mostly used Bepo to convince him to confess already and even got a date out of it.

"Fucking finally...!" Shachi groaned

But seriously, there's some sort of tension between them. Sexual or romantic.

[killmongerskeeper]

first of all, THANK YOU so much for writing and taking the time for it. Your writing is incredible! Would you please write angst turned into a fluff or with a happy ending with numbers 9 and 15? Can be that they had a fight first and the other one is offering a ride to cool off or whatever comes into your mind and what you feel is right :)

Fluff #9: “I’ll give you a ride”

Angst #15 “I gave you so many fucking chances, yet you kept fucking them up. And I’m done. I can’t— I don’t want to do this anymore. I deserve better than whatever bullshit you’re giving me.”

To say you were mad was the understatement of the century. You know Shuri can be busy. She's still the princess of Wakanda and she's the Black Panther now. She has training with the Dora Milaje, meditation, and meetings with the elders. Sometimes you won't see her for a week. You do miss her. But you need her to not make empty promises to you. The shit hurts. You stomped into the lab and there she was her head in whatever she was trying to figure out.

"Seriously?" You asked and you heard her curse under her breath before turning to you.

"Yes?" She replied annoyed that you interrupted her as she turned back to the desk. She had promised the two of you would take a break from everything. Just to spend the day together and be in each other's presence.

"I thought we had plans today?" You asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah well plans get ruined. We'll have to go another time." She said with a straight face and you felt your blood beginning to boil.

"And when would that be? You have training again this week. A conference in the states. Which you must be present for. And probably eight millions different things in this blasted lab. When will we ever get the chance to do anything?" You fumed as she just nonchalantly waved you off. Not taking anything you say to her seriously.

"Well I'm sorry I have eight million things to do. You're just going to have to get over it." She walked past you to get to the other computer and you slammed the brochure on the table.

"Get over it? Is it a crime to want to spend time with my girlfriend? Or are you even still that? We barely see each other and when we do it in the morning when you're getting ready to leave!" You shouted and she turned to you clenching her jaw.

"You can't even see things from my perspective. It's always about you and how damn needy you are. Things come up that is my responsibility to take care of. Things that are more important than some date." She spat and you narrowed your eyes taken aback by her outburst. You ripped the brochure in half before flicking the pieces at her.

"I gave you so many fucking chances, yet you keep fucking them up! And I’m done. I can’t— I don’t want to do this anymore. I deserve better than whatever bullshit you’re giving me.” You sneered walking out of the lab not even giving her time to respond to you. You needed to leave the palace. Clear your head. Snatching your phone you stomped out the front door as Grio tried to reason with you through your kimoyo bracelet.

"Ms. Y/N I would like to ask that you both talk this out."

"I don't want to hear it, Grio." You ignored anything else the AI said to you as you went through a nearby village, walking along the road. The sun was beginning to set and you bit the inside of your cheek. When you've calmed down a bit your mind starts to replay what occurred in the lab. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. She has other things to worry about. Could be possible that the love you once shared just isn't there anymore. You could hear a sound of a car engine approaching and sighed as you really didn't want to be bothered. You only slowed down when a voice called out to you.

"Please stop walking." You stopped and turned to look at Shuri who was in the driver seat of one of her cars. She had on a pair of shades but said nothing else to you. It was until you started to walk again she spoke up. "I'll give you a ride." The passenger door opened and you scoffed before getting in the car. But only because the temperature was dropping. You sat quiet during the drive before you noticed she wasn't driving towards the palace.

"The palace is back the other way." You said in a flat tone and she kept her hand on the wheel while the other rested on her leg.

"I know where the palace is." You glanced over at her as she parked into an empty space facing the sunset. Neither of you spoke, only watch the sun as it met the ocean. It was only until her hand grabbed hold of yours that you fully looked at her.

"I'm- I'm sorry for the way I treated you my love. My mother wouldn't be very proud of me in that moment. I know you just want to spend time. Things get overwhelming and I just can't. I don't want this to end. Not until one of us is on out deathbed." She said looking forward and you gave her hand a light squeeze.

"I guess I felt as if I was an option. I know things can get hectic. But I just want you to understand that you're not alone. If I just sat in the lab with you, I'd be fine. I don't want to lose what we have." You said softly and she brought your hand up to her lips. "I forgive you Shuri." You leaned over and she wrapped her arms around you and the two of you reconciled under the sunset.

[torra-and-the-toons]

I know, much like the actual show, Wakko's Wish wasn't meant to be taken 100% seriously. I mean for christ's sake the surgery Dot needed was just a beauty mark implant to be even cuter.

But like... god damn Wakko really puts so much on the line for his sister and never once gives up hope. He's such a pure, honest, and selfless soul I just CAN'T he makes me CRY.

All three of them in this movie are just so good tbh and all the other characters trying to take that wish from them can go fuck themselves.

[killmongerskeepermain]

Prompt Request: first of all, THANK YOU so much for writing and taking the time for it. Your writing is incredible! Would you please write angst turned into a fluff or with a happy ending with numbers 9 and 15? Can be that they had a fight first and the other one is offering a ride to cool off or whatever comes into your mind and what you feel is right :)

Fluff #9: “I’ll give you a ride”

Angst #15: “I gave you so many fucking chances, yet you kept fucking them up. And I’m done. I can’t— I don’t want to do this anymore. I deserve better than whatever bullshit you’re giving me.”

To say you were mad was the understatement of the century. You know Shuri can be busy. She's still the princess of Wakanda and she's the Black Panther now. She has training with the Dora Milaje, meditation, and meetings with the elders. Sometimes you won't see her for a week. You do miss her. But you need her to not make empty promises to you. The shit hurts. You stomped into the lab and there she was her head in whatever she was trying to figure out. 

"Seriously?" You asked and you heard her curse under her breath before turning to you.

"Yes?" She replied annoyed that you interrupted her as she turned back to the desk. She had promised the two of you would take a break from everything. Just to spend the day together and be in each other's presence. 

"I thought we had plans today?" You asked and she shrugged her shoulders. 

"Yeah well plans get ruined. We'll have to go another time." She said with a straight face and you felt your blood beginning to boil.

"And when would that be? You have training again this week. A conference in the states. Which you must be present for. And probably eight millions different things in this blasted lab. When will we ever get the chance to do anything?" You fumed as she just nonchalantly waved you off. Not taking anything you say to her seriously. 

"Well I'm sorry I have eight million things to do. You're just going to have to get over it." She walked past you to get to the other computer and you slammed the brochure on the table. 

"Get over it? Is it a crime to want to spend time with my girlfriend? Or are you even still that? We barely see each other and when we do it in the morning when you're getting ready to leave!" You shouted and she turned to you clenching her jaw.

"You can't even see things from my perspective. It's always about you and how damn needy you are. Things come up that is my responsibility to take care of. Things that are more important than some date." She spat and you narrowed your eyes taken aback by her outburst. You ripped the brochure in half before flicking the pieces at her. 

"I gave you so many fucking chances, yet you keep fucking them up! And I’m done. I can’t— I don’t want to do this anymore. I deserve better than whatever bullshit you’re giving me.” You sneered walking out of the lab not even giving her time to respond to you. You needed to leave the palace. Clear your head. Snatching your phone you stomped out the front door as Grio tried to reason with you through your kimoyo bracelet. 

"Ms. Y/N I would like to ask that you both talk this out." 

"I don't want to hear it, Grio." You ignored anything else the AI said to you as you went through a nearby village, walking along the road. The sun was beginning to set and you bit the inside of your cheek. When you've calmed down a bit your mind starts to replay what occurred in the lab. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. She has other things to worry about. Could be possible that the love you once shared just isn't there anymore. You could hear a sound of a car engine approaching and sighed as you really didn't want to be bothered. You only slowed down when a voice called out to you. 

"Please stop walking." You stopped and turned to look at Shuri who was in the driver seat of one of her cars. She had on a pair of shades but said nothing else to you. It was until you started to walk again she spoke up. "I'll give you a ride." The passenger door opened and you scoffed before getting in the car. But only because the temperature was dropping. You sat quiet during the drive before you noticed she wasn't driving towards the palace. 

"The palace is back the other way." You said in a flat tone and she kept her hand on the wheel while the other rested on her leg.

"I know where the palace is." You glanced over at her as she parked into an empty space facing the sunset. Neither of you spoke, only watch the sun as it met the ocean. It was only until her hand grabbed hold of yours that you fully looked at her.

"I'm- I'm sorry for the way I treated you my love. My mother wouldn't be very proud of me in that moment. I know you just want to spend time. Things get overwhelming and I just can't. I don't want this to end. Not until one of us is on out deathbed." She said looking forward and you gave her hand a light squeeze. 

"I guess I felt as if I was an option. I know things can get hectic. But I just want you to understand that you're not alone. If I just sat in the lab with you, I'd be fine. I don't want to lose what we have." You said softly and she brought you hand up to her lips. "I forgive you Shuri." You leaned over and she wrapped her arms around you and the two of you reconciled under the sunset.

[archiveikemen]

Minamoto no Yoshitsune Main Story: Chapter 11

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting┊aikm’s Genjiden Glossary

One afternoon—...

Yuno: A battle?

Yoshitsune: Yeah.

Yoshitsune-sama paid a visit to my room and told me that he was heading to battle.

Yoshitsune: A neighbouring province requested for me to send my troops as reinforcement in a battle, so I’ll be away for a few days.

(Again…)

Recently, Yoshitsune-sama had entrusted the management of internal matters to Yoichi-san and often went into battle to form alliances with other provinces, in preparation for the war against Yoritomo-sama.

Yoshitsune: Should anything happen while I’m away, you can go to Yoichi.

Yuno: … Understood.

Yuno: Thank you for going out of your way to inform me.

(Yoshitsune-sama would always talk to me like this whenever he’s about to go into battle.)

Yoshitsune: Don’t worry. For as long as you’re a hostage here, you won't be treated unfairly like the last time.

I had mixed feelings towards Yoshitsune-sama, who always treated me with sincerity.

(I hope he returns safely.)

(But, as much as I want to say this to him, it’d count as betraying the Shogunate.)

Yuno: Going into battle must be tough… right?

After much hesitation, I asked a strange question.

But Yoshitsune-sama didn’t seem to mind, and he responded calmly.

Yoshitsune: I’ve never thought of it to be tough.

Yuno: Really…?

Yoshitsune: Just like how fish belong in water, I belong on the battlefield.

Yoshitsune: I’m merely going where I’m meant to be.

Yuno: W-why would you say that…

(I wish he wouldn't say something so sad like being meant to be at such a horrible place.)

Yoshitsune: My body and mind are best suited for the battlefield.

Yoshitsune: By personally going onto the battlefield, I can minimise the damage taken by our side.

There was no hesitation in those words.

Yoshitsune: My vassals’ lives are irreplaceable to me.

Yoshitsune: As their Commanding General, it's only natural for me to protect them.

(I understand that he wants to protect the people he cares deeply for.)

The thought of him losing them made my heart ache.

(I really do understand, but…)

I shook my head in response to the words Yoshitsune-sama said with a clear gaze.

Yuno: I don't think the battlefield is the only place you’re suited for, Yoshitsune-sama.

Yuno: While you are very strong, there are plenty of other places outside of the battlefield that suit you.

(... Because I believe that Yoshitsune-sama is a kind person.)

Yoshitsune: … (surprised)

I recalled the incident with the poisoning attempt on Yoshitsune-sama.

(The reason why the vassals harboured such strong feelings of hatred towards me wasn't because I’m a member of the Shogunate.)

(It was because Yoshitsune-sama, whom they adore more than anyone else, was in danger.)

Yuno: Your vassals care for you the same way you care for them…

Yuno: Anyone would feel hurt when someone they care for is harmed.

Yoshitsune: Yuno…

(That's why, please don’t say things that sound like you’ve given up on yourself.)

I bit my lip to suppress the emotions welling up inside of me.

Yoshitsune: You’re very kind.

He was hesitant, but spoke to clarify himself.

Yoshitsune: I appreciate your thoughts.

Yoshitsune: But the bloodshed and tumult of the battlefield is what I want for myself.

Yuno: Are you seriously saying that…?

Yoshitsune: It’s not that I want to kill people, nor do I have the desire for conflict.

Yoshitsune: But even so… I can’t help but feel alive whenever I hold my sword and smell the rusty iron scent.

(Oh…)

The flames of emotion flickering within his eyes brought back memories of the first time I saw Yoshitsune-sama on the battlefield.

– Flashback Start –

Soldier 1: Damn it, he’s so strong…!

Soldier 2: We can’t do this alone! Let’s all attack him at once!

Yoshitsune: That won't change a thing.

Yoshitsune: Try me.

Soldiers: CHAAAARRRGGGEEE!

Yoshitsune: — Too slow.

– Flashback End –

The image of Yoshitsune-sama taking down his enemies with graceful swordsmanship while skillfully controlling his horse was etched in my memories.

(... He possesses overwhelming strength.)

There was no one more befitting of the phrase “a match for a thousand” than Yoshitsune-sama.

(He’s like the physical embodiment of war itself… fighting in battles that endanger his life.)

The mere thought of it sent a chill down my spine.

Yoshitsune: — Are you afraid of me?

Yuno: Why do you ask…?

Yoshitsune: …

Yoshitsune: You’re right. I don’t have to care what you think about me.

(W-what does he mean by that…?)

Questions lingered as we locked gazes.

Memories of the battlefield still plaguing my mind…

I realised that I knew too little about Yoshitsune-sama to forget those memories.

Yoshitsune: … I’ve stayed for too long.

(Ah…)

Yuno: Yoshitsune-sama!

I reflexively called out to him just as he was about to leave the room.

Yoshitsune: What?

Yoshitsune-sama turned around and our eyes met.

(I have to say something…)

— Please don’t push yourself too hard.

I swallowed those words that nearly escaped my lips.

Yuno: Take care.

Yoshitsune-sama responded with a silent nod.

On a day when the sky was clear, he led his troops into battle.

…

A few days later—.

(Even though Yoichi-san was generous enough to lend me a book…)

No matter how hard I tried to concentrate on the words, nothing was going into my head.

(I feel uneasy for some reason.)

I closed the book I was reading and sighed.

(Yoshitsune-sama mentioned that the battle is in a neighbouring province.)

(It’s not too far away from Oshu, so he should be returning soon…)

While I was lost in thought…

Yoichi: Oi, Yuno.

(Oh, it’s Yoichi-san.)

A languid voice called out to me from the hallway.

Yuno: Coming!

I stood up and opened the sliding door.

Yoichi: Yuno, Yoshitsune-sama will be arriving shortly.

Yuno: Really!?

Yoichi: Yes, yes.

(Thank goodness… he came back safe.)

I felt relieved that he returned to the mansion alive.

Yoichi: Shall we go welcome him together?

Yuno: Eh?

Yuno: But I think I should refrain from doing that…

Yoichi: Why?

Yoichi-san tilted his head curiously.

Yuno: I’m a hostage after all, so it's unusual for someone of my position to do that.

(Yoshitsune-sama and I are enemies.)

By right, the kind of relationship we had didn't allow us to even be worried about each other.

(His vassals might disapprove of my presence too…)

(We should avoid meeting each other in public, at least.)

As I tried to convince myself not to go, Yoichi-san stared intently at me.

Yoichi: I thought about this too when we first met, but you’re very serious.

Yoichi: … Oh well, I guess that’s what’s good about you.

Yuno: What do you mean “good”?

Yoichi: Hmm, who knows?

I tilted my head in confusion when he responded to my question with a question—

Yoichi: A-ny-way.

Yuno: Whoa!?

Yoichi-san grabbed my arm and forced me to my feet.

Yoichi: Let’s go and welcome Yoshitsune-sama back!

Yuno: Yoichi-san!?

He pulled my arm and I was dragged out of my room.

…

(I ended up being forcefully brought out, but will this really be okay…?)

Walking next to Yoichi-san, we headed towards Yoshitsune-sama.

Yuno: You’re surprisingly forceful, Yoichi.

Yoichi: I wouldn't have done that if you really hated it.

Yoichi: You’re worried about Yoshitsune-sama, aren’t you?

Yuno: … How did you know?

Yoichi: Experience comes with age, you know.

Yuno: Experience comes with… Yoichi-san, you can’t be that old, right?

Yoichi: Nah… I’m actually older than Yoshitsune-sama and Benkei.

Yuno: No way!?

(It’s not too surprising that he’s older than Yoshitsune-sama, but he’s even older than Benkei-san…)

(He has a youthful appearance though…)

Yoichi: Ah, you just had a rude thought, didn't you?

Yuno: N-not at all!

Yoichi: It’s fine, I’m used to it.

(This is surprising, but…)

(His relaxed attitude aside, he’s very sharp. Perhaps it’s because he’s older?)

Yoichi: Anyway, you can rely on me from now on, yeah?

Yoichi: I don’t usually say such things to people, but… well, you’re just special.

Yuno: Umm… thanks.

(Now that I think about it, Yoichi-san invited me to that party and lent me a book…)

Yuno: Yoichi-san, you’ve always been very kind to me.

(I’m grateful for that, but I also want to know why.)

Yoichi: Hmm, that’s true.

After pondering about something, Yoichi-san grinned.

Yoichi: I’m up to something, but don't you worry about it.

Yuno: Saying that only further piqued my curiosity…

Yoichi: Oh, Yoshitsune-sama is coming.

(Ah.)

Without giving my question a proper answer, Yoichi-san pushed me by the back and down the corridor.

…

We spotted Yoshitsune-sama when we turned at the corner of the corridor.

Yoshitsune: …! Yoichi. And Yuno too.

Yoshitsune-sama blinked in surprise when he saw me next to Yoichi-san, he didn't seem to have been expecting my presence.

Yuno: … W-welcome back, Yoshitsune-sama.

Yoichi: It’s good to see that you're safe.

Yoshitsune: Yeah.

Yoshitsune: I didn't expect Yuno to come and welcome me back.

Yoshitsune: … I’m home :)

I felt so relieved to see Yoshitsune-sama's faint smile, it was as though a large weight had been lifted off my chest.

(I was told that he’s safe, but it's more comforting to see him with my own eyes.)

Yoichi: I thought it’d be nice to have more people around, so I invited her to come along.

Yoshitsune: I see. Sorry for the trouble.

Yuno: N-no… not at all.

(Although I was just feeling relieved to see him…)

When I thought about everyone back at the Shogunate, I felt awkward and struggled to find the right words to say to him.

Yoshitsune: I’ll return to my room and change my clothes. As for what happened during my absence, we can discuss them later.

Yoichi: Understood.

Just as Yoshitsune-sama tried to walk past me, I sensed something odd.

(... Is he protecting his right arm?)

His movements were usually calm and graceful, but this time he seemed slightly discomposed.

Yuno: Wait!

Yoshitsune: … What?

Observing his movements when he turned around confirmed my suspicions.

(I knew it!)

Yuno: Yoshitsune-sama… your arm is injured, isn’t it?

Yoshitsune • Yoichi: …

When I looked straight at him and questioned, Yoshitsune-sama averted his gaze.

Yoichi-san noticed it and immediately went up to him.

Yoshitsune: Yoichi, wait—

Yoichi: Pardon my disrespect.

Yoichi-san skillfully removed Yoshitsune-sama’s armour and pulled up his sleeve—

(...! He’s badly wounded…)

Yoichi: This…

Yoichi-san frowned at the sight of the deep wound.

Yoichi: Now that I think of it, I did hear from one of the other vassals that Yoshitsune-sama jumped right into a group of enemy soldiers alone to save an ally.

(He did WHAT!?)

(Considering what happened, he’s lucky he didn't sustain a much worse injury.)

(Had the attacker missed his arm by a bit…)

The thought of the worst-case scenario made me shudder.

Yoichi: But I was told that you were unharmed.

Yoshitsune: I told them to report it that way, so it won't cause mayhem. Even if I said I was injured, it won't magically heal the wound.

(Still…)

Yuno: There's no way a wound this bad won’t hurt!

Yuno: You need to call someone to tend to your wound immediately!

Yoshitsune: I don't want to cause a commotion.

Yoshitsune: The person I saved will get worried if he finds out about my injury.

Yuno: That’s not the biggest problem here…

(Does his personal wellbeing hold no importance to him?)

Yoshitsune: I’m used to being wounded. So—

Yoichi: Yoshitsune-sama.

Yoichi-san spoke, interrupting Yoshitsune-sama.

Yoichi: How about you let Yuno tend to your wound?

Yoichi: That way, it won't be a problem anymore.

Yoshitsune: What?

Yuno: Huh?

Yoshitsune-sama and I responded at the same time to Yoichi-san’s suggestion.

[a-fools-errand]

New fic idea? With no title yet? And I don’t really have a summary just yet, but basically it’s a voltron The Forest au (bc ive been playing way too much of that game). Think a bit like the tv show Lost? Or The Wilds? But with more comedy and it’s also pretty close to crack treated seriously, featuring Keith having to be the leader of a ragtag group of survivors as everyone slowly becomes more crazy than even he is. And Lance being a badass, and everyone being a badass really. Anyway, let me know if you think it’s interesting enough to post on ao3??

Also! I should note, Keith and Lance are strangers in this fic and I, for one, firmly believe that Lance would flirt with anything with legs if it wasn't for the fact that Keith and him were rivals in canon.

CW: A plane crash, minor injuries including bruising and a bit of blood, and a dead body

----

Keith’s head was ringing something fierce as he came back to a slow consciousness. God, maybe this was why he never slept on planes if this was the apparent outcome. He blinked out the stubborn weariness from his eyes. The sound -the real sound- slowly welled back up, birds chirping distantly. 

…Wait, birds? Why would he be hearing birds on a plane-?

And that’s when he saw it. Over the tops of the shitty main cabin seats in front of him, between the useless dangling oxygen masks, there was a forest. 

Not like out the window or like some fake painted on trees to make it not seem like they weren’t in a metal tube flying high in the sky. There was an actual forest filled with actual trees a good few rows in front of him, all framed by the broken-in-half plane. 

Ok, no, maybe he did sleep on planes because that absolutely wasn’t real. Not a chance in hell. Keith sat up to try and find more evidence that this was clearly just a stress dream, only to cry out in abrupt stabbing pain from his midsection. He looked down, wincing as he pulled out his shirt slightly. He was met with his own skin painted with a mirage of angry purples and blues around the edges of where the thick seatbelt still held him in place. 

A bruise. He had a bruise all along his lower stomach. Which would make sense to have if the seatbelt stopped him from going forward extremely abruptly. Like, let’s say, in the event of a plane going from some super fast speed that Shiro would know to an absolute and utter zero. And that only happened when… 

In a second of what he would later convince himself was momentary hysteria, all he could think was, damn, looks like we aren’t making it to the connecting terminal on time.

He then much more rationally jolted forward in his seat again (and was greeted with the same sparking pain) at the fact that the plane had fucking crashed. What the fuck? What the FUCK?!

As quick as lightning, Keith undid the stupid seatbelt and turned to Shiro beside him. The man was still out like a light, but breathing, thank fuck. He checked diligently for anything seriously wrong (shrapnel, lacerations, currently bleeding anything- oh god, oh fuck? What was happening?). 

Somewhere near Shiro’s hair and all across his nose area was covered in dried blood, a bruise forming around the former. That definitely meant a concussion, right? Keith wasn’t a doctor, he had no idea how to check that. The blood seemed to be slowing to a crawl, which was probably good.

There wasn’t anything majorly wrong on his body so it seemed. Or at least, there wasn’t anything wrong that wasn’t already wrong. His arm was missing, which sounded terrible until it was taken into account that it was his already amputated arm… From a plane crash… A different plane crash… Oh, Shiro was going to be so pissed when he woke up. Who gets into two plane crashes??

A groan coming from directly behind him derailed that train of thought. Keith whipped around to look at the source of the noise (much to his strongly protesting body). A tanned, narrow-faced guy somewhere around Keith’s own age was slowly blinking his way into consciousness just like Keith had. His face was full of freckles and what looked like only a few slight bruises from where Keith could see. Overall, the other… survivor looked to be in about as good a shape as Keith was. 

Jesus, just the thought of saying ‘survivor’ was not really sinking in. They had survived a fucking plane crash. That wasn’t a thing that just happened, much less twice in Shiro’s case. He even joked that he was flying with Shiro because lightning never struck the same spot twice. Evidently, it fucking did. Maybe he shouldn’t have tempted the universe like that… 

“Mullet?”

Keith refocused on the guy now staring at him, scoffing at the incredibly slurred and equally confused ‘nickname’.

“Are you… dying or whatever?” Keith asked.

The guy tilted his head, his face scrunching up at the question until he refocused on the mask sitting securely on his nose. He yanked it off as careful as a band-aid, watching it strangely as it bounced back up toward the ceiling.

The guy turned back to Keith, a silent question in his eyes. It seemed to answer itself though, as the stranger’s widening eyes filled with the soft sunlight trickling in over Keith’s shoulder.

“Ho-ly crow,” The other survivor shook himself like that’d get him to wake up. Keith understood the feeling.

“I… I think the plane went down,” Keith winced at his own statement. Obviously the fucking plane went down. No plane landed fine with only half of it left, especially not just the back half.

“Looks like it,” The guy replied hollowly before his face filled with alarm, “Oh my god! Hunk! Pidge!”

Blue Shirt (he really needed to learn this guy's name, but that would have to do for now) turned to his oddly named friends. Which was Hunk and which one was Pidge, Keith had no idea. They seemed to be like Shiro, alive but not quite up yet, if the sigh of relief Blue Shirt let out said anything.

The guy turned back to Keith with a lot more awareness, “What happened??”

“Like I said, the plane-”

“No, no, I don’t need the obvious! Clearly!” The guy frantically gestured over the seats, “I meant like, how are we even, you know?”

“Alive?” Keith finished, “I don’t have a damn clue.”

“And what about everyone else?” Blue Shirt asked.

Keith tilted his head.

“Like, the other people. There was a- a cute, little elderly couple right over there,” Blue Shirt pointed across the aisle, “Where did they go? Where did everyone else go?”

Probably thrown from the plane, Keith’s mind darkly supplied. He didn’t, however, want to come off as a complete freak to the only other survivor awake right now.

“Maybe they already got out?” Keith tried (and failed) to sound optimistic.

The guy frowned, seemingly trying to process that, “...Right. Okay. And they probably just left us because… because… Because! They didn’t know how injured we were, and that’s, like, a rule! Totally! You don’t move the injured people because their spines could be damaged and everything! Trust me, I’ve watched all of Grey’s Anatomy, even the truly bad seasons.”

Very trust-inducing, Keith didn’t voice. He nodded tentatively despite that thought. 

Blue shirt stood- oh goddamnit, this was getting annoying, “Hey, what’s your name?”

“Hm?” The guy stretched out in the aisleway, pain evident in his face, “Oh, um, right. The name’s Lance, but you can call me the man of your dreams.”

“W- what?” Keith definitely didn’t squeak that out. Also his face definitely didn’t go tomato red. Also his heart didn’t feel like it just had a palpitation. Also- You know what, shut the fuck up. How was he supposed to react to that?? Who realized they were in a plane crash and immediately f- flirts with the only other awake survivor??? 

Lance (the man of Keith’s apparent dreams, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the-) grimaced in what looked like sincere apology, “Sorry, sorry, not the place. I think my head’s a bit, uh, scrambled, you know? From all this? Anyway, what’s your name, Mullet Man?”

“...Keith,” He dragged out of his mouth (stop fucking staring at the pretty guy who just trauma-flirted with you), “And it’s not a mullet.”

Lance put a hand on his hips, or tried to. He winced at the touch and let it drop, “Puh-lease. I spotted that thing the moment you walked on the plane. Shorter in the front?”

“I guess,” Keith answered tersely.

“And longer in the back?” Lance raised an eyebrow.

“Yes?”

“Ha! See, that’s literally the definition of a mullet: business in the front party in the-” Lance abruptly choked on the air, hand going to cover his mouth as his eyes went wide as saucers. He stumbled backwards, grabbing on to the flimsy blue seats to stop himself from falling completely, “O- oh my god.”

Keith stood ready to catch Lance, expecting to see him losing blood or something, “What’s wrong?”

With a face three shades paler, Lance pointed over Keith’s shoulder. Was… was he just now processing their wrecked plane? Even after they talked about it? Nevermind. Trauma was weird sometimes. That was what his old therapist used to say at least. Maybe it was still settling and that’s why Lance kept going on weird, unnecessarily long tangents?

“The plane crashed,” Keith repeated slowly like he was talking to a spooked deer, “Are you hurt or-?”

“N- no, Keith, look,” Lance demanded, voice shaking.

Keith turned in confusion to follow Lance’s eyes only to be meet with-

Oh.

Oh.

A woman -one of the stewardesses, Keith assumed by the neatly pressed uniform- laid dead-eyed in front of them. Her limbs were sprawled out, her head haloed by the bent edges of where the broken plane met the open air. Grimly, Keith thought that that made sense. Of course not everyone would survive a goddamn plane crash. 

But then he noticed what killed her. It wasn't being tossed by the aggressive turbulence, nor was it the excess metal shrapnel from around the edge of their halved plane, no. 

Glimmering there in all the glory of the midday sun was a bloodied axe buried squarely in the middle of her chest.