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hopekiedokie · 4 years

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Mall is Life | INTRO : She’s Broke, He’s Broke, We’re All Broke!

Summary: Your dad thinks it’s best for you to pay off the credit card that you just maxed out. Meaning, it’s time for you to finally get your very first job…at the mall. As a true blue spoiled daughter from a very rich family, what could possibly happen? Form a labour union and overthrow the oppressive government with 7 other underpaid and overworked guys??? Or maybe just form a bond with them and have the best time of your life?

Pairing: bts x reader

Genre: mall!au, lowkey a sitcom, fluff, eventual angst, and a whole lot of pure crack

Word count: 5.3k+

Notes: As I’m doing final rewrites for this, I overheard my co-teacher call one of our students a “crack” and I honestly have never related hard to a student. Anyways, transferring this from gdocs to tumblr took sooooo long. I literally aged 10 years. I didn’t think writing in this style would be such a pain so I really do hope you enjoy this! Keep safe and hang on while the world still seems like it’s on its way to destruction.

Posted on: 8th of Jan, 2021

— • masterlist | Character Guide | INTRO | next • —

Red

Red is all you see.

Your vision has been clouded by the colour red since the moment you stepped inside the mall.

Sale season is upon you and red tags are everywhere!

Buy one get one for a girlfriend sized “boyfriend t-shirt”, a free cookie if you get 7 drinks, 5% off on your next purchase from Kucci and… Gasp! 75% off for a light sabre handheld immersion blender???

Do you even cook or watch Star Trek or whatever it’s called? Heck no.

bUT IT’S MORE THAN HALF OFF and it looks cool so might as well get it.

Right?

You saunter off towards the sights of free or marked down signs to start making damages.

“Ehem.”

The sound of your best friend, Taehyung’s voice, freezes you in place and you feel like a kid caught in the act of stealing a candy.

Literally, you have both your hands in front of you with your mouth open and watering.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” His hands are placed on his hips, like a slightly inconvenienced Karen.

“Oh, uh...I was just, you know!? About to admire the general splendour!”

He was like, ya right sweetie.

“Shut up. This isn’t a Jane Austen book.”

Well, one can dream.

And lowkey, you were kinda expecting him to not get the reference.

…or even understand what you just said.

Damn.

You really need to give Taehyung some credit.

He is after all, your best friend and that is an achievement in itself.

“Focus, y/n. FOCUS. We’re here on a mission, don’t get distracted.”

Ugh, right.

Reality hit you again like a ton of bricks.

“And as if you can afford anything! Unless, you’re in for some service water.”

You scoff hard.

Though he isn’t lying.

See, the thing is, your family is rich.

Like rich 𝑹𝑰𝑪𝑯.

Like “rent a whole stadium for your dad’s morning run” rich

You, alone, though?

ʰᵉ ʰᵉ ʰᵉ

“Sorry, you’re absolutely right. We’re here for one thing only and that is to find a job! We’re not leaving until we get one.”

And that’s what you did for the next two hours

Job hunting

You might be wondering, “If we're so rich then why are we looking for a job?”

Well kids, let me tell you a quick story.

Here’s what happened

A week ago, you had probably the most embarrassing yet most eye opening experience of your life.

You were shopping

(like duh do you have anything else to do?)

And your credit card got…

Wait for it…

…………….

🚫DECLINED🚫

◉.◉

Like, that can happen????

Next thing you know, you’re on the phone with your dad and he is MAD

You don’t even know why he is so pressed about it.

Okay, so you maxed out one of his seemingly endless supply of credit cards.

BIG DEAL.

It’s not like he lost a bunch of money.

Maybe to a normal person, yeah…

BUT to you guys?

Come on! He can earn that money back in like two days.

Besides, he always goes on saying that he'd willingly give everything for you, his one and only princess.

bUT NOoOOoo! He has to teach you to be rEsPoNsIbLe with money! You need to be a 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏.

"What? You think I'm a money making machine here?"

Well, tbh he kinda is.

"You think money grows on trees?"

Well, technically, money is paper so...ya it kinda does.

"I don't slave around just so you could plunge yourself in all of your whims!"

Uh, actually.

You kinda do though if we refer back to your whole willingly-give-everything-to-you shtick.

So that wasn't real, huh?

ＡＬＬＭＥＮＤＯＩＳＬＩＥ.

smh

Taehyung, on the other hand...

Well, his mother’s old but rich sugar daddy just recently passed away and unfortunately all his money and prized possessions were inherited by his one and only beloved son.

All they got was a couple of stupid jewelry, which did allow them to pay for a new (less glamorous) apartment, but still

Eh.

What a complete disappointment.

11+ years of being a sugar baby, all for nothing.

So now it’s back to the slums for the both of them.

Sad reacs for a fallen warrior.

I’m talking about Tae’s mother, not the sugar daddy...

THOUGh rip for him. Uh,,,,

He’ll be missed? I guess???

(1 like of this post = 1 respect for him)

DW about his mother though. She doesn’t seem quite fazed by it.

“This is why if you find a rich old bastard, make sure he doesn’t have any kids. That or have an affair with their kid. Oh well, on to the next one.” She told you and Tae during the funeral.

It’s been three months since.

She’s currently working at a hair salon and also,,,,

Taehyung thinks she’s seeing someone again cause she’s been using her designated “𝑠𝑒𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔” parfum.

WHICH you still don’t know if you should be impressed or be concerned about.

Nonetheless, you respect the hustle of this woman. ✊✊✊✊

Unfortunately, her efforts are still not enough to satisfy their expensive needs so that brings us to the present situation.

Actually, it couldn’t have been more perfect though!

You and your best friend coincidentally just happen to be in the same dilemma.

Kind of

Well, not really

Plus, it’s not really the most pleasant circumstance bUT STILL

The point is, you’re in this together and that’s enough for the both of you.

:’)

“Ugh, this totally blows.” Taehyung says as you both sit on one of the food court booths.

“Which one, us not getting any jobs yet or the fact that we’re hanging at the food court?”

“Get used to it, princess. Honestly, you'll find that the food here isn't as disgusting as you think they are." He says as he fishes for his phone in his man purse.

"Well, at this rate, I won't be able to get used to it since I sTILL haven't found a job. Why are the good stores so demanding? Like, an intensive classroom and in-store training only to have a possibility to get hired??? To think that I'm a loyal Louie Button customer!"

(A/n: This is actually a real procedure for Louis Vuitton, at least in my own experience. But I only applied and never went through with the training cause I figured that it just ain't for me.)

You continue ranting your little heart out about how you could sue these stores for unfair treatment.

Taehyung, though, has long tuned you out and has pointed his full attention to his phone.

This is turning out to be a lot more disastrous than what he anticipated.

So he needs to phone a friend in.

Orrrrr a couple.

He's getting desperate, okay??

The entire spring collection was practically screaming out to him when they entered Kucci.

He's a 𝓚𝓾𝓬𝓬𝓲 𝓫𝓸𝔂 through and through.

He hasn't missed a single Kucci season collection in years.

IN YEARS, PEOPLE!

He can feel his right eye twitch at this blasphemy.

"I'm telling you! These stores are absolutely ungrateful-hEY! Are you even listening??"

"No. I thought that was obvious the second I whipped my phone out."

( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)

Rude

He didn't even try to deny it.

"You know, I really don't need you to be mean to me right now."

"Sorry y/n but this…" He lifts his phone up, "is more important right now."

What could possibly be more important than your current problem??

If you don't leave today with any form of productivity, you just might have to sell the entirety of your closet.

And we all know that ain't happening.

"By 'that', you mean?"

His phone vibrates a couple of times, indicating that he just received a bunch of messages.

He instantly opens them, disregarding you once again.

I-

Seriously, thIS bOy!

"Hello???? I'm still here and we're still hideously unemployed!"

He looks up to you with a smile that seems a tad bit too eerie.

Okay, this is somewhat alarming ngl.

"I called in some reinforcements."

Reinforcements... Huh?

What's that supposed to mean?

You stare at him with scrunched brows and mouth slightly agape.

And as if on cue, a male voice rings from behind you.

"Tae! We're here!"

"Jimin! Seokjin hyung!"

Ohhhhhhh

*Looks at the camera*

Them.

♫︎DUN DUN DUN♫︎

For everyone's information, Taehyung grew up a hair away from the poverty line.

He was in his preteen years when their family found success through his mother's sugar daddy.

He didn't grow up rich whICH there's NOthing wrong WiTh THAT.

A person's financial status does not define them.

Taehyung's friends, however, already have a collective definition in your head.

One word

༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ MESS™

♫︎DUN DUN DUN♫︎

A hot mess you are so not willing to become a part of.

Tae keeps them away from you because he knows that they are not the type of people you would associate yourself with.

Which is why you've never met any of them.

...Until today.

♫︎DUN DUN DUN♫︎

Guess being besties with a broke Taehyung means it only makes sense that you finally meet them.

♫︎dUN dUn- ok that's enough of that.

"We got the Code 17 message. I can't believe I'll ever get that from you. This is history, man! We need to celebrate!" Someone says accompanied by what sounds like someone wiping a window.

You look at Taehyung with a very displeased look.

May god and every higher being out there give you strength.

He doesn't even look the slightest bit bothered by what might be one of the boldest crossovers to ever happen.

Also, "Code 17"??? Wth?

"What's wrong? You never ask to meet at the food court… And who's this with--oh." A different, softer voice talks this time.

"You guys remember my bestie, right? Y/n? Well, I think it's time you guys finally meet."

From behind you, Seokjin and Jimin share a slightly wary yet excited look.

Jimin, being the natural people lover that he is, instantly thinks that he's about to have another best friend.

From what he's heard from Taehyung, you two are slightly alike, being a total softie.

So don't be surprised if a montage of things like the two of you going on picnics at the mall garden or watching the premiere of the next Disney movie plays in his head.

Seokjin, on the other hand, being the woman lover that he is, instantly thinks that he's about to score big time.

He's heard a lot about you from Tae but the only thing that stuck (and pretty much the only thing that matters) is that you are HELLA rich.

$ ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪 $

So are we even surprised that what he imagines is him breezing through the luxury section of the mall, with his personal butlers in tow, and having everyone swoon at him?

“Y/n,” Taehyung gives you a pointed look as if telling you to be nice. “Meet Seokjin hyung and Jimin, two of my other best friends.”

Alright, you heard that these people work here at the mall.

So you’re gonna have to suck it up if it means being stuck with them for god knows how long.

You just hope they have some level of bearableness.

(Oh and some form of acceptable fashion taste too please, thank you very much!)

As much as you're not in the mood to smile, you still plaster on the sweetest one you can muster and turn around to face the two----

(o.O)

oh oh oh oh ho ho ho ho

Hello

hELLO indeed.

One of them has a white button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black slim fit trousers, and a brown newsboy cap like a cherry on top.

He's also wearing a brown apron with a small name tag that says 𝓙𝓲𝓶𝓲𝓷.

The other guy's more casual with his baby pink t-shirt, french tucked into his black ripped skinny jeans.

Personally, you wouldn’t really call them amazing outfits…

bUT SWEET BABY JESUS ARE THEY DOING THINGS.

GREAT THINGS

(Tbh maybe it’s their handsome faces that do it for you)

"Hi, I'm Jimin! It's very nice to finally meet you."

He extends his hand and you take it in a heartbeat because my god that smile.

Wooooooooooo

Now, that's what greets you into heaven.

"Tae says a lot of good things about you and I think- oof."

Cute pink shirt guy (rudely) shoves him to the side.

Jimin almost topples to the ground and it makes you want to stand and check up on him.

The poor cutie.

For some reason, you feel like Taehyung and pink shirt guy get along well.

"AND I'M Seokjin!"

This time, Seokjin swiftly takes your hand without any warning which leaves you feeling flustered.

“Umm… Nice to meet you..?” You manage to politely croak out.

He gives your hand a kiss and then drops you a sultry wink.

Thank god you're sitting right now.

You'd be a lying fool to say that that didn't make your knees weak.

But ngl, that’s a face that definitely greets you into hell.

Like, no offense to his handsome face but you are sure there’s something completely devious going on underneath.

No one can change your mind on that.

"OKAY! Enough introductions, we’ll have plenty of time for that later... Where are the others??”

“Hoseok hyung said that he's with Jungkook and they're on their way to get Namjoon hyung." Jimin says as he fixes his hat that slightly slid off.

"Well, they better hurry!"

Taehyung DEFINITELY did not have any reasons to cut your introductions off.

He just did not like how you are practically drooling over Jimin and Seokjin.

He’s nOT JEALOUS OR ANYTHING

It’s just...

It’s not like you’ve never been close to any hot guys before.

Uh hello???

HE’S HOT

And you’re with him 24/7

Wait…

Do you even think he’s hot???

Okay now that’s a thought he never considered before.

Damn bro

Now Tae’s having an existential crisis…

anD hE’s dEfiniTEly NOT jEALous!!!

ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

"WE'RE HERE!"

All four of you direct your heads to the sound of a new voice and you start to think that Taehyung might actually be playing a joke on you.

Come on!

THREE 👏 MORE 👏 HOT 👏 GUYS 👏

???

This can't be real.

This is literal heaven!

Gasp!

Are.

You.

DEAD?!

Maybe you're right about Jimin being what greets you into heaven!

It all makes sense.

“Dude, we came as soon as we could. We even pulled Namjoon out of his rabbit hole.” The handsome one wearing a sports jersey says.

“This better be important. I didn’t even get to ask permission to take a break! I’m supposed to be stocking utensils right now.” The handsome one wearing an atrocious outfit of a bright blue shirt and a much brighter yellow pants chimes in.

The handsome one wearing loose fitting jeans, a plaid button up and a black t-shirt underneath just stayed at the sidelines not saying anything.

Out of all of them, you think he’s the most stylish one.

Your eyes meet while you are assessing his outfit but he instantly looks away.

A noticeable blush blooms on his cheeks and you almost swoon.

Awww he’s extra cute.

“Yeah, cause organising cutlery is more important than a friend in a literal crisis.” Taehyung says in a sarcastic tone.

“So what are we doing here?”

“What is this ‘crisis’ you are referring to?”

“Yo, who is she?”

Namjoon, Jin, and handsome jersey boy all talk at the same time.

Ugh you need a massage.

Being surrounded by these broke handsome men is making you lightheaded.

“This is Y/n. You know, my other best friend.”

“Oh, your money buddy.” Handsome jersey boy butts in.

Uh EXCUSE YOU, WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

You scoff hard and loud.

Taehyung clears his throat and you thought he was going to make a comment defending you or something.

Oh honey, you are wrong.

Because for the nth time today, he just brushes you off.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Anyways, Guys, meet Y/n. Y/n, this is Hoseok hyung, Namjoon hyung, and Jungkook.”

You didn't think it'd be possible but for the first time ever, you so badly want to rip someone's hair out.

And not just someone, it's Taehyung.

Normally, a sassy, moody, rude boy Taehyung doesn’t affect you at all.

But then again, his negative vibes were never really directed to you.

And given the current circumstance, you’re also not in the best mood as well.

So you aren't as inviting as you usually are when you shook hands with the three boys.

Somehow, even their overflowing handsomeness did not do anything for you now.

Your presence, however, did something to the three boys.

AND I MEAN A LOT.

Confused, attracted, intimidated, confused, in awe, slightly scared, nervous, confused, hungry…

What? Hoseok hasn’t had lunch and coincidentally, he started feeling his tummy rumble when he looked at you.

…..

Fun fact: Hoseok is DEFINITELY NOT A CANNIBAL NOR HE EVER PLANS ON BEING ONE.

If ever you were thinking...

“Okay, so here’s the sitch.” Tae starts to explain your situation and everyone listens to him intently.

Little did you all know, the final member of the friend group just arrived at the food court and is now walking towards where you all are.

It wasn’t difficult to spot your group with Namjoon’s obnoxiously brightly coloured towering self and the few girls hanging around.

Probably Jimin’s fanclub.

“And so, here we are!” Tae finishes, keeping everyone updated.

"Wow, so you two are looking for an actual job? Like, here? At the mall??" A very baffled Seokjin asks.

Tae rolls his eyes.

"Yes. Is that really hard to believe?"

"Actually, yes. It is."

Another male voice is heard coming from someplace.

“Yoongi hyung!”

Oh great! Another one.

Surely, this guy’s not that interesting.

I mean, what are the fricking odds that he’s also an immaculate being??

You turn around and your mouth drops to the floor.

No no no no no.

No way!

Another freaking gOOD LOOKING GUY HAS WALKED UP TO YOUR GROUP.

Okay, this is getting unbelievable now.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

Like, where and how on earth did Taehyung manage to get and round up SIX insanely good looking guys??

What is this? Are you on The Bachelorette??

Wait no

It's like Oprah!

And instead of cars, she's giving away handsome men

You get a hot Asian man, you get a hot Asian man, you all get a hot Asian man!

OR MAYBE

Are you on MTV Punk'd?????

Statistically speaking, a hot guy can have two or maybe three equally hot best friends

BUT SIX???

ARE YOU KIDDING?

Is Taehyung like Thanos? Collecting the six infinity stones?

Thanos? lol.

If anything, he's more like Henry VIII with his six wives.

“So you guys didn’t even wait for me, huh?”

Yoongi, oh so casually, just takes a seat beside you

Without even giving you a single glance or whatnot.

“I didn’t know you'd be here at the mall today?”

“Yeah, what are you doing here?”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “It’s a free country, I can be here whenever I want to be.”

Well, can’t argue with that logic.

The mall is practically your second home at this point.

“... Also… uTunes is hiring and uh… I’m applying...”

You don’t understand why but everyone else looks either shocked or annoyed at Yoongi’s announcement...

Are you missing something here?

“Man, you need to give it up! That place can suck it.”

Yoongi gives Seokjin one of the scariest glare you’ve ever seen.

It could rival against your dad’s famous death glares that he gives to his incompetent subordinates.

Namjoon shakes his head disapprovingly, “You’re applying there again?? I can’t believe it.”

Yes, again.

This is going to be the seventh time he’s applying at uTunes Records, the most popular music shop there is.

So many people flock to it even though we’re already in the digital age.

But he doesn’t question it.

All he cares about is getting a job there because the employees get to play their own music in the store.

Do you know how much of a popularity boost that is?

A CRAP TON.

On top of that, one of the employees gets a chance to get signed by a record label every year.

And if you're not awarded by that chance, you can still meet agents and get signed through their many parties.

Because of that, so many people also apply for a job there.

But they unfortunately have such high standards which is why even after three years, he still hasn’t passed their vibe check.

"Listen, seven's a lucky number. I have great feelings about this one. Besides, I've built up a strong résumé. Winning one of uTunes' own rookie dj contests must mean something, right? They can't not take me!"

Wow.

You've only known Yoongi for a solid three minutes, but you can already tell that he's quite passionate about this.

"Hyung, all we're saying is that maybe you should consider doing something else? You could do so much more than run after that store." Jimin says and pats Yoongi's hand a couple of times.

"All of you perfectly know getting a job there could quite possibly set my music career!"

"Is that really it? Or is it because of a certain Daphne??" Seokjin teases him.

The rest just mutters an "ooh" or an "aah".

You seem to have been turned into an accessory.

You so cannot relate to anything they've talked about since Yoongi came.

It's like you're at one of your dad's social gatherings and all you can do is smile and nod.

"ANYWAY," Yoongi interjects in their teasing. "So Tae, you're also looking for a job?"

Jeez FINALLY.

Something you can talk about that involves you.

It felt like you were just back home watching some random show that doesn't require your input.

Taehyung gives an overly dramatic heavy sigh.

"Unfortunately, yes. Y/n and I both need one badly. But all the stores had been rejecting us left and right. Like, the audacity!" Taehyung rants all over again.

Jimin, listens to him intently as if he hasn't heard all of this before.

Seokjin seems to have been entertaining the surrounding ladies for a while now.

[by giving some ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ and some (•̀ᴗ-)☞ ]

Across the table, Namjoon complains to Hoseok about getting in trouble with his boss.

Jungkook, well, he's just staring at the beautiful pizza this kid next to you guys is eating. (Someone's hungry too, okay?)

While Yoongi just openly stares at you.

Welp.

What the frick are you supposed to do now?

Is Taehyung or anyone going to properly introduce you two?

No???

Okay fine.

Seems like you're gonna have to get used to doing things on your own.

You smile at him and timidly hold your hand out.

"Uh hi. I'm Y/n. I don't know if Tae's ever mentioned me to you before but--"

"Oh, trust me. He's mentioned you plenty. He actually never shuts up about you."

ʰᵉʰ

You don't really know if he was stating that as a fact or if he's trying to be mean…

"Oh ha ha… That must be really annoying then."

"Yeah, it is actually."

Your small polite chuckle died down your throat.

Wow and you thought Taehyung can be rude.

hE'S STILL JUST STARING.

"Uh…" You finally lowered your hand that he obviously isn't going to shake.

That is definitely going in your top 10 most embarrassing moments ever.

God, can someone get you away from this guy?

What's his problem?

"SO, can any one of you help us? Like, any tips or something?" Tae concludes his really long and repetitive rant.

Everyone's eyes FINALLY focuses on Tae again.

Seokjin snorts loudly.

Eww.

He opens his mouth to say something but Tae immediately holds his hand up to stop him.

"Anyone except you hyung. I don't think you're classified."

Everyone laughs to that and again,

ARE YOU MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING HERE?

Seokjin raises one finger like he's trying to make a point. "If anyone is classified to give tips on how to get accepted, it's me!"

"Yeah, just not on how to last on one." Namjoon loudly whispers to Tae.

"HEY I HEARD THAT!"

Ohhh….

So,

Does he constantly get fired from a job?

Well, that's just sad.

Hopefully you don't end up like him.

😳

"Actually," Hoseok starts, "how do you end up landing on so many jobs? Like, don't they know your reputation?"

And that's your cue to finally insert yourself in the conversation.

"Uh, what reputation?"

"Sweetheart, you don't really want to know! It's not that big of a deal." Seokjin quickly steers you away from the topic but the other guys didn't allow it to happen.

"Oh, you know. Just that, he's known to be the "job eater" here. Cause he pretty much eats a job and moves on from it in a flash." Namjoon graciously fills you in.

So you were right.

That's kind of impressive though…

But a huge waste.

"Still! It makes me very much qualified to give the unemployed a tip!"

"Save it hyung, you might need it for your next job once you get fired from Uncle Aang's."

Seokjin gives everyone a sheepish smile.

What's that about?

It almost looks as if he…

"YOU GOT FIRED ALREADY?!"

"Oh you bet I did."

To be fair, how could he not stop himself from eating the free samples? Those pretzels are literal drugs.

"You just got that job four days ago. I can't believe it!"

"I can believe it." Yoongi says out loud.

Can't he say anything nice?

"Whatever! Point is, these stores still hire me no matter what."

"You know what, that is a good point." Taehyung mutters, slowly turning convinced by Seokjin.

Namjoon groans. "Are you for real Tae? If you want some job advice, maybe ask one from us who has only had one permanent job all throughout."

"Guys, let's give Seokjin hyung a chance!" Jimin, ever the sweet positive boy, suggests.

"Of course you would say that."

Not wanting to fade into nothingness, you insert yourself again in the conversation.

"I want to hear what he has to say."

Once those words left your mouth, you instantly regret it.

A.) Seokjin gives you another wink and gives you a flying kiss that has you weak in the knees again- I MEAN WHAT. I SAID NOTHING.

And B.) Yoongi is clearly not a fan of you sharing your opinions with the group.

Despite the obvious protests of Namjoon, Seokjin still gives his number one "professional" advice

And that is to have a perfectly 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉 𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 résumé.

"A high quality résumé? YOU? What the fuck are you talking about?" Yoongi says, slightly amused and slightly tired of the older guy's shenanigans.

"Don't believe me? Fine. But I'm telling you, it's all here on paper!" Seokjin takes out a folder from his backpack and waves it around.

Namjoon immediately snatches it from him

"5 pages long?? Are you for real?”

Seokjin hums and watches smugly with a cocky grin as the guys read through his résumé.

“Hang on, since when did you do balloon modelling?”

"I don't."

Hoseok gasps. "But bro, isn't that lying?"

"Yeah, duh! How else are these people gonna hire you? You have to sell them what they're looking for."

"What if they ask you to use these skills that you clearly don't have?"

"Then you're just gonna have to fake it till you make it, baby!"

Huh

No wonder he doesn't last long on a single job.

"And how's that working out for you?" Yoongi presses on.

"Well at least I get hired, Mr. 7th Time's the Charm!"

Yoongi is like ᶠⁱᵗᵉ ᵐᵉ ⁱ ʷᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵉˢⁱᵗᵃᵗᵉ ᵇⁱᵗᶜʰ (ง'̀-'́)ง

"That's not really the point of having a job, but I guess, whatever floats your boat, dude!" Hoseok finally sides with Seokjin.

"So everyone is looking for a job then?" Taehyung realizes, "this is so cool if all of us get hired! We'll all face the real world together."

"All of us except Jungkook though."

Who?

Oh that extra cute shy boy.

You forgot he's here.

Boy really hasn't said a word at all.

"Did ya hear that? All of us are getting jobs!"

"You should get one too!"

"That would be so cool!"

"So what do you say? What are your plans Kook?"

"Guys, don't pressure the kid!"

The guys talk simultaneously, ultimately kind of pressuring Jungkook to say something before he even thinks about it.

The table falls silent and everyone eyes Jungkook.

The guys are like ( ･ิ ͜ʖ ･ิ) and ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)

Jungkook is like (ʘ ͟ʖ ʘ)

Then the guys are like (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

So jungkook is like (¬‿¬ )

In the end, they are all like

(☞°ヮ°)☞ ☜(°ヮ°☜)

And through it all, you are just ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

What the heck is going on?

"Yeah, why not?" Jungkook simply concludes and the guys make various celebrating noises.

Gasp!

He can talk???

"Okay, everyone calm down! Let's wait until after everyone gets hired before we celebrate." Namjoon scolds everyone.

"Well that might take a while considering Y/n and I can't find one!"

Namjoon places a comforting hand on Tae's shoulder. "Oh relax, there's like ten thousand stores in the mall!"

"Actually, there are only 613 stores in the entire mall." Hoseok points out a matter of factly.

You all look at him dumbfoundedly.

Aaaand he just stares back at all of you.

Is this some kind of trivia that you need to know if you work around here?

Are you gonna have to memorise a lot of facts about the mall???

Oh, you don't like that.

Seokjin was the first one to react.

"Dude?? What the hell?!"

"I got bored once while I was on a break and counted."

Huh.

Makes sense.

Yeah, sure.

Why not?

Why wouldn't you just go and count the total number of stores out of boredom???

…

THAT WAS A SARCASTIC REMARK IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT.

"Even if there are 600 stores here, there are only like, 20 good stores that exist!" Tae remarks

You want to say you can't agree more but you stop yourself because you don't think you can handle another cold stare from Yoongi.

"Are you perhaps pertaining to the high end stores?" Namjoon muses.

"Yeah. What else?"

Jimin's eyes widen in shock. "Hold on. So you two have only been looking at that small section of the entire mall?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Yoongi chuckles condescendingly.

"Bros, you know that saying… 'Beggars can't be choosers'?" Hoseok tries to enlighten you two.

You and Tae look at each other.

What an epiphany.

A very disgusting yet important epiphany.

"Are you… Are you guys saying that… We need to find a job… Outside of that section??"

They all nod.

Ughhhhhhh

You and Tae make an annoyed sound.

"Welcome to the real world, peasants!" Seokjin warmly tells you.

Could things get any worse?

"Hey, at least we'll all be here together!"

Ha ha

Great . Awesome. Wow.

"Well, on that note, I really need to get back to work. Lady and gentlemen, may the odds be ever in your favour. Good luck!"

Namjoon stands and walks away.

One by one, the other working guys went back to work as well, leaving you unemployed slackers.

Hey they didn't even give any actual help!

Wasn't that the reason why Tae called for a… What did they call it?

Code something something.

Oh whatever!

Anyways,

So to summarize things

You might end up working at an awful low end store.

And you're unwillingly stuck with the wrong set of people.

One of them is a total flirt and an actual pain to society.

Another one might possibly hate you for unknown reasons.

This tall dude seems to be really uptight.

Then there's this guy that seems really weird.

The other one, well… He's cute and doesn't really have any negative points yet BUT you're sure something's wrong with him.

And the last one literally said one thing during the entire time!

Oh, you've got a really really long way before you can pay your dad.

Good luck to you, indeed.

98 notes · View notes

popculturebuffet · 4 years

Text

The Loud House Reviews: The Cow-Pie Kid and Saved by the Spell

Welcome back Loudiacs.. I .. don’t know what the fandom calls themselves. And given I dont’ know anyone personally in the fandom and the going into the tag is like living in a living nightmare.. it’s easier to keep workshopping a name till either someone tells me or I find one that sounds right. Loudites.. there we go that didn’t take long. Point is we’re back in The Loud House, In The Loud House for the first regular coverage, i.e. when I cover a show as It comes out of the season. And I was lucky enough to actually see the episode same day this time and with a promo that at least gives me images to work with, so yeah, i’m pretty pumped. And not just because I can cross this one off because SOMEBODY has a birthday tommorow.. no not me, that was last month.

There ya go. But yeah the show’s back. I’m excited, your excited, i’m scared because nick dosen’t give a clear schedule out ahead of time so i’m left wondering when one’s going to pop up and when to get it on my schedule now I have one... it’s a good time. Seriously though Nick needs to get their scheduling in order. So i’m happy to be back, your happy to have me here, but probably not happy to have spoilers so let’s take this under the cut and we can talk about cow pies, magic, and ... how this block is weirdly almost all lincoln episodes.

The Cow-Pie Kid: Yeah.. this was the only bit from cow pie kid I could find. Tons of stuff to mine from for saved by the spell. Nothing for that one. Weird. Anyways our story opens with Lynn’s baseball team, who we’ve met before.. and include friends who have played other sports with her and that guy she had a crush on for all of five minutes because the writers kinda forgot L is for Love happened for anyone but Luna and Luann.

Okay look MOST of the love intrests introduced there were not great and while Lincoln needs one NOW, at the time he really did not as the Ronnie Anne thing had not, and still has not, been properly resolved. Still vastly prefer him with Stella and her with Sid, i’m just saying closure would be nice. Look i’m getting off topic point is one besides Sam, who was great out of the gate and not just for being gay.. though that was a lot of it, and Benny, whose objectively a really sweet kid and damn likeable. Luaggie shippers feel free to boo me, I understand.. dosen’t change my mind or the fact Poly exists to fix that. I mean why not both I ask you. Besides them, we had Chazz, a loveable chubby guy who Leni was into and worked at clothing store and knew his fashion stuff. and was charmed by her romantic gesture. He just seemd sweet and it was implied via background stuff they were still dating.. but he hasnt’ shown up since despite her working AT the mall and that being her main arc for the last two seasons.

Just why? What’s wrong with the chubby fashion boy? Why? Did they decide they had too many romance arcs.. at exactly two? I get focusing on sam, because duh, and because that was awesome.. but you’ve had 2 full seasons since then and again Leni and him now work in the same location if not the same store, which in itself is a plot. I don’t ask much from you show.. well okay I do but let me clarify I don’t ask much from you that you could actually do: I know i’m never getting my a diffrent world style spinoff with lori and bobby. I know Zach is going nowhere and i’m just going to have to get over it, I will not, but I DO know you could include chaz and just won’t. So do that at least. I will put up with several more seasons of Zach if it means this adorable love story continues. It’s even easy enough to pick up this late: they are both stupid. Work with that. Gah... coach if you’d please.

Thanks coach. Okay so one tangent later we’re back to the episode. Point is her team is loosing even though Lynn’s the captain now, and while she’s perfectly encouraging it’s not winning games. Lynn is understandably dejected in the car not helped by the sports commentor guys from the game... commenting about it on the radio...

I mean.. I get sports can have dry spots and all that but who covers a middle school basketball team on the radio that isn’t the middle school radio station. I mean I genuinely can’t decide which is more sad... a radio personality doing a children’s baseball game on his own show, or having so much trouble getting one that he’s apperaing on the middle school radio show. And I COULD say it’s just a guest spot but he’s talking like he knows what’s going on intmatiley> Did his daughter ask him to? I mean I know radio’s fallen pretty far but I dind’t think it was that much in the basement. Do a podcast at least man.

Okay before I go on another Tangent point is Lynn feels it’s her fault as Captain.. which granted whoever the coach is should be .. but it genuinely looks like they don’t HAVE a coach. Maybe they had to sack him to pay for the newly refrubished av department? I dunno. Point is she feels bad and Lynn Sr vows to cheer her up.. before stopping for farm fresh eggs. Which.. yeah can’t blame him. He’s a cook, and Liam’s family likely has good prices. He can buy for both home and restraunt at once. I mean he has a van and only one occupant at the moment. Don’t judge him. But this little detour DOES help Lynn’s mood. Her problem is the team lacks a decent pitcher, since Lynn herself was banned for throwing one at a heckling goat. The Lawsuit is ongoing and that made me laugh a lot. But Lynn finds Happy Gilmore style that Liam.. has a really great arm. Granted instead of actuall balls it’s with cowpies because this series really loves a shit joke, hence the title and the new nickname for liam, the cow pie kid.. but compared to some of the series toilet humor it’s a lot less in your face. But with Liam being so good Lynn can’t help but sign him to the team and Liam being a sweetie pie is happy to agree. I have.. not hid even for a second how much I liked Liam or wanted him, and Stella, to show up outside of Lincoln episodes more often, or even get his own again. That day.. has come. Not only does LIam now have a roll entirely outside his friend group, but this episode’s about him and Lynn together.. not in that way.. yet. Someday.. Point is my boy is in the spotlight and I could not be happier. And thankfully.. Lynn’s at her best. What I feared would be an episode about her overtraining him and making him not enjoy the game, htat old chesnut instead.. she just genuinely helps mentor him. She’s tough but fair as she helps him get his aim right as he’s used to firing Cow Pie’s, so the weight distrbution is off. So she helps train him and .. it’s really cute honestly, with her genuinely helping him and showing a softer side and later realizing she had him thinking about it too hard and just having him not think.. and going by instinct naturally works for a carefree and easygoing guy like liam. Wouldn’t be suprised if he went ultra instinct eventually.. but that’s for another episode. They also have a pig pile together.. which sounds bad but is just pigs piling on liam and lynn gladly gets on top of the pigs and god that sounds worse. next scnee.

So Liam gets ahead and becomes the star pitcher for the zanarkand abes.. I mean the Royal Woods Kangaroos, and they just keep wining and wining and wining. Their like glomgold: all they do is win... but probably with less attempted corpse dancing. Problem is as we see during the montage Liam’s arm is slowly but surley getting cramped and while he wins hte next game.. his arm gives out from noodle arm. The good news is with rest, he can fix it, as her injury prone friend Paula, whose somehow allowed to play with crutches despite ALL the legal and moral issues that raises explains. but they don’t have days to rest it. So insane plans it is! So Lynn goes to her sisters for herlp..specifically lisa int he hopes her mad science can either fix his pain or turn him into the hulk. Neither happens.. yet. I mean LIam is so sweet if he IS a hulk, we won’t know yet. But the green door will.. it always knows. IT ALWAYS KNOWS. Lynn bemonas her luck.. before Lucy appears!

I JUST said last month when reviewing 11 louds a leapin that I missed the duo of her and lynn and lo and behold here we are. While we dno’t get much of the two fo them, it is still nice to see Lynn suprised by her scares and Lucy trying to use the dark arts to heal his pain.. which actually works. Lucy’s upgraded from wants to be a witch to full witch.

So yeah her dark magic works and now Liam is fine just fine as the championship game approaches. Until naturally it isn’t. While Lucy STOPPED the pain, she didn’t make anything better, just numbed it so Liam’s arm’s pretty bad and Lisa suggests there’s a 70 perfecnt chance he’ll wreck it if he does so.. and while Lynn is naturlaly, given one of her main traits is asshole, ready to risk that.. she realizes she can’t. Rusty is on her team following her orders.. and no matter how good a W feels.. she can’t trade in someone’s health for one. Honestly bettter than most sports managers ngl. So Paula subs in and misses, loosing them the game.. but Lynn. takes it in stride, having realized she can win next year and having finally realized what being the leader REALLY means. She can work on paula’s curve, give Liam a break, and win next time... which she’ll have because time dosen’t work normally in this show’s dimension and a solid timeline is just a pipedream, so she probably has another year of being 14 to redo this and has become aware of it. I’m scared and excited for what that means. Liam celebrates with a pig pile of two and we get a REALLY fucking cute shot of the two being happy and what not before a pig jumps on them still though.. yeah I ship it now. Liam taps into the space where I thought a black void of misery and douchebaggery was but ti turns out is in fact a heart, something few can do with Lynn and Lynn can protect him form bullies and is perfectly suited for his rough hewn farmboy styles. Point is their cut.e And so was this episode. IT was a really nice return to the series and it was again REALLY fucking great to see one of Lincoln’s firend,s and one of the GOOD ones at that, get a starring roll without him. HOpefully this keeps up and hopefully we see more of these two.

Saved by the Spell:

RUSTY SPOKES IS TRASH (Ring) I don’t have a saved by the spell font that’ll have to do. Point is he is but before we get to Rusty being Rusty, Lincoln is doing magic tricks at the table.

youtube

Point is he’s excited to do it at the talent show. The next day his friends discuss doing something to make them look cool to everyone. WHich.. kids. i’ll level with you. You. are. NERDS. As a massive one in both size and nerdiness myself, there’s nothing wrong with that. 2/3 of you are lovely people. You’ll be fine. But you are geeks, and should be proud of that.. not so proud you evolve into an incel or it’s adjacent form of assholes mind you, but still proud of who you are. You are never going to be that cool by trying to appeal to everyone. Just be yourslef and the cool comes naturaly. Like kool aid, which is naturally made by milking the Kool Aid man. Be you.

But instead they decide to do a dance routine which.. let’s face it.. is probably just this spread across 6 people...

Point is maybe don’t do that. Also when Clyde does a dorky but endearing dance and says their going to shake their groove things, Rusty pipes in with “But cool”... and while sadly not as glorious as EVERYONE looking enitrely done with him like last time we saw this tool, Clyde clearly still does while the rest of hte Lincrew have no idea what the hell he’s on. I think their just.. numb to his stupidity and ego at this point. But when Lincoln shows off his magic they all hide him, fearing that magic.. is well for younger kids and this won’t play so well. Which isn’t an invalid fear: this is middle school and from personal experince, middle school can be hell.. and also one of hte best years of my life which shows the vast gulf between the two schools I was in but was also not the point. the point is kids can be cruel and maybe don’t do this. But lincoln gonna do it anyway because he has confidence.. and frankly given there was an ENTIRE episode about being yourself instead of putting on an asshole suit of armor to avoid being hurt, which Lynn finally took off again last episode, he’s right.. but the rest of them all feel THEIR ALL GOING TO LAUGH AT YOU. and since they don’t know if he has latent psychic powers or not can’t risk him getting pigs blood dumped on him so they plan to find some way to trick him out of it.. Clyde of course gets his stomach in nots because he’s not good with schemes or lying ot his best friend, both of which this is and requires.

Also Stella’s in the lead, as she should be. And she helps as her positive attudie makes what their doing come off as it should: KINDA douchey, but not intentionally so, they just worry about hteir freind getting pummled.. possibly by his own sister but now sh’es possibly with Liam that’s probably not as much of a worry. Or Chandler but frankly he’s going to do that no matter what.. and is probably getting his ass kicked himself by older kids who won’t toldeate his bs, so your clear. But their fears while a bit unfounded are understandable and well inteitoned if misguided, as we don’t know LIncoln’s act at this point or how well it’d go over with a mostly tweenager crowd, who can be the best as we’ve seen in recent tv.. or aboslutel monsters.. same deal. You either get Luz or you get BOscha, the inbetween is rare.

So cue our usual setup of a bunch of attempts to do something in a row, but like I said while i’m not a fan of reptition if it’s done well enough it works and with it’s rather sizeable supporting cast , LIncoln and Friends episodes usdually do make it work. In this case it does as each of the sensational 6, lincoln and clyde asid,e try their hand at it. Liam, being the golden child, just has the most direct and obvious route: swipe his magic stuff.. and runs off without letting them talk it out but unlike Rusty in the next attempt, his plan was actually viable.. he just gets tangled up in the scarves and taps out. Rusty is next ....and his idea is to.. show lincoln his killer dance moves to convince him normally.

Yup pretty much that. And somehow out of the four plans, RUSTY’S is the only one that dosen’t bring up any serious moral quandries. I know i’m shocked too. He just thinks his moves will do it when no they won’t, please stop it hurts to watch and I can’t turn the fuck away. This is my job you redheaded kanker sore! Gah it thankfully ends and is unsurisingly unsuccesful.

Also unsuprisingly, i’ve been waiting since i got that image to use it on Rusty. And as a third dollop of unsuprise I did not have to force it in any way shape or form. Point is it’s Zach’s turn as during the last two he’s been pushing really hard to use some form of brainwashing on his friend.. yes .. really.

Thought Rusty would be the first loud house character to get that one but hey if the shoe fits. Seriously I thought rusty was the creep among them but at least you know.. altering someone’s throughts to suit your own isn’t his go to move. Being excetsivly cocky and coming on too strong is but still better to take THAT out of the Zach Morris playbook than “brainwash people into dooing whatever you say because tha’ts not creeptagious.” And unsurpsingly it does not work.. on Lincoln it woroks on Meyrl for some reason. Thankfully it dosen’t though just.. Zach needs no power epsiecally over the mind.

So UNSUPRSINGLY, Stella has the working plnan.. and also unsuprisingly the last three just did theres by running off, running off and shouting the loudest. Again somehow Rusty is NO LONGER the most obnoxious one of the group. Zach won that title this episode. He’s still the most pathetic.. but i’m the most done with Zach who adds nothing to the dynamic or the planet or anything and I wish would just go away. Your home planet needs you.

But yeah Stella has the winning idea: pretending to be “Yodel Boy”, a student who was humilated at a talent show last year, proving sh’es not only a decent actress (I mean it’s obvious i’ts stella in a wig, padding and lederhosen, but points for the accent being okay and hey she’s in middle school), but also the smartest of them. Only one of those is a suprise. It works and Lincoln agrees.

So the night of the talent show they’ve caught him up to speed and prepare to celebrate, only for clyd eto open the wrong locker and reveal the yodel boy suit. WHy it was in there instead of at Stella’s house where this wouldn’t happen?

But yeah the cat’s out of the bag and lincoln leaves, depressed his friends think that little of him and lied to him. Which.. yeah completely fair. They tried talking to him, it did not work.. they shoudl’ve just left it at that. It would’ve SUCKED if he got bullied true, but it was his choice to go out there and take a risk and do what he loves. As someone whose constnatly self concious and had to fight to start writing like i’m doing now, I envy that kind of youthful confidence and thus wholly support him.

And finally.. so do his friends. Realizing they’ve been kinda crappy, they introduce lincoln instead and work as his assitants.. and.. it works. Stella gets sawn in half, Zach gets astounded by a card trick, and Liam wears a bunny outfit which is just.. precious. Good boy. Best boy. It’s a huge hit.. and we also get to seesome of the new background kids including one with pink hair who looks kinda nb. I’m just saying one of you should take a crack at them, they seem nice. But for now our heroes are haield as heroes, and the other 5 apologize to lincon and they do their now cemented and fucking adorable group hug. Happy ending to a pretty great episode, with decent gags, a good relatable plot, and Rusty being just the right amoutn of obnoxious. Good stuff. So that does it for this week. If you liked this review like or reblog it, check out my other work and come back later today for some duck content. and every week once the show returns. Until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure.

#the loud house #lincoln loud #stella zhau #clyde mcbride #lynn loud jr #liam honeycutt #who finally has a last name!#FINALLY #zach gurdle #rusty spokes #lucy loud #lisa loud #saved by the spell #the cow pie kid #animation #reviews #nickelodeon

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zoefandom127 · 4 years

Text

Hands Up With Me Pt. 3

part 3!!! show some love to this on AO3 and Fanfiction.net

"Can you please look again?"

"I'm sorry Miss but we've looked everywhere."

They'd been at the airport for at least an hour, waiting at baggage claim. Most everyone has gathered their belongings and left but Julie couldn't leave until…

"But I swear I brought it with me on the plane," Julie murmured more to herself. In reality, it shouldn't have been that serious. She was 20 years old for goodness sake. But she'd had it since forever. The old fabric and loose stitching forever etched into her mind. It's one of the only living relics her mom had given her before she passed. The thought of it being gone isn't something she could fathom.

"Miss, we haven't seen a stuffed animal in any of our ports. If we hear anything, we'll let you know." With that, the baggage handler walked away leaving Julie in a mess.

Honestly, it's just a bear. An old, worn out bear that had been in her life for a long time. She never went anywhere without, always bringing with her on tours and keeping it backstage as a good luck charm before performances. Sometimes it would almost be as if her mom was there with her.

She knew mentally that her mom would always be with her no matter what. Somewhere in her mind or heart or whatever. But emotionally, that bear was the only other thing that made her feel close to her mom besides music. Mr. Harmelody (when she was younger she stumbled over her words and accidentally combined harmony and melody, somehow the name stuck) was there all the time. And she doesn't know why but she needs it with her.

"Come on, Julie, it's getting late." Luke laid a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of her reverie.

"But…" Julie looked towards the boys and they were almost falling asleep on their feet. It had been a long flight and they still needed to wake up early the next morning for their interview with Carrie. Glancing at her phone, she winced when she saw it was a quarter ‘til one am. "Yeah, okay. Sorry for making you guys wait so long."

Reggie, who had been leaning on a concrete column, slowly waking at the sound of Julie's voice being directed at him, Alex, and Luke. "No worries, Jules." He gave a tired smile and kicked Alex, jolting him awake.

"Are we at the hotel yet?" Alex yawned.

"No, but the cab's outside." Luke grabbed his suitcase and started towards the exit with the boys dragging their feet behind. Julie was lagging behind the three of them sleepily as she tried to rub away the stinging behind her eyes. It's not that serious. Everything will be alright.

...

Everything was not alright.

Luke had been sitting with Julie for hours trying to come up with lyrics but the girl was dead on her feet. Ever since she lost Mr. Harmelody (he could imagine 3-year-old Julie saying that name in all her adorable cuteness) she'd been so reserved. Her answers would be 3 words or less. And she looked so distracted lately, always looking at her phone anxiously. Like she was waiting for it to ring and tell her the best news ever.

He knew the significance of the bear, how much it connected it to her mom. But he didn't think the loss of it would affect her this much. She was barely functioning what with all the singing and touring and late nights but she did it all with a smile on her face. Now she had a blank stare and barely said a word to anyone.

Yeah, he needed to fix this.

Once Julie left, Luke pulled out his phone and went straight to his text messages, clicking on the group chat with the boys.

Luke: guys we gotta help julie

Alexander: Yeah…

Reginald: Help her with what?

Alexander: Haven't you noticed that she's been kinda…

Luke: d e p r e s s e d

Alexander: ^^^

Reginald: Oh i thought she was just thinking. I mean thats what i look like when i think too hard.

Alexander: Nah you look more constipated

Luke: ANYWAY

Luke: we need to find Mr. Harmelody

Luke: any, ideas?

Reginald: Oooooo maybe we could bribe them

Alexander: With what? Your stupidity?

Reginald: *gasp* I take that very offensive

Alexander: You should

Alexander: Calling the airport would probably be the best option

Alexander: Though I think if they found it they would've called

Luke: right but maybe we just have to be more insistent

Alexander: Oh wow Luke, broadening your vocabulary lately?

Luke: haha

Luke: instead of calling we could like go in there and demand the bear

Luke: that could work right?

Alexander: Not if we want to be carried away by airport security

Reginald: Ngl thatd be kinda fun

Luke: idk guys but we have to find it. Julie is not okay

Reginald: Awww yeah for Jules we gotta find Mr. Harmelody

Reginald: ...I still think bribing them could work

Alexander: Wait maybe we could bribe them with a concert.

Alexander: If they search, we play

Luke: yeah that could work!

Luke: i'll call flynn so she can set it up. that girl is more intimidating than our actual manager

All the details would be figured out now but for now…

"We're coming for you, Mr. Harmelody."

...

Julie was bummed.

Well to be honest, she was bummed all the time now. It had been a little over a week since Mr. Harmelody has been gone. The fact that she was this upset over a stuffed animal made her feel like a child again. She was reminded of the time she lost Mr. Harmelody when she was 9 years old. Her mom had taken her and Carlos to the town fair and her mom warned her not to bring Mr. Harmelody but at the time she was at the age where her attachment to her belongings was fierce. Julie didn't have a good grip on her bear for the dropdown ride and Mr. Harmelody went flying from her hands and through the air.

As soon as her legs were on solid ground she went running in the general direction of where the bear flew, leaving her mom and Carlos to follow behind her as tears trailed down her face. After an hour of crying and searching, Rose found Mr. Harmelody lodged underneath a vendor cart for funnel cake.

Maybe she had been a little dramatic back then, especially when she cried "my life is ruined" in her mother's embrace. But all the memories and love engraved in that bear seemed to be lost without it with her.

Just as they seemed lost right now.

Walking through the hallway of her apartment building, Julie heard voices from behind her door.

"Shhh."

Furrowing her eyebrows, she placed her ear against the door gently so as not to alert the people inside the apartment of her presence.

"Okay, I'm gonna set up the camera."

"Reg, we don't need to record this."

"Are you kidding? The fans will eat this up. A touching JATP moment, if you will."

"I will not."

Hearing enough, Julie unlocked the door and wandered in.

"Julie!" Luke yelled, surprised.

There Alex, Luke, and Reggie stood looking as suspicious as ever.

Hesitantly, Julie continued her trek inside. "Hey…" She spoke wearily.

"Did we figure out how we're gonna present it to her?" Alex asked after a brief moment of silence as Julie stared at them skeptically with her arms crossed.

"Uh no. Not really." Reggie responded, still looking at Julie with a smile on his face.

"What's going on?"

The boys looked at each other as if making a small agreement as they nodded their heads slightly. Luke had both his hands behind his back, clearly holding something. He stepped up to her and proceeded to show her Mr. Harmelody in all of his stuffed glory.

Everything was the exact same. The same worn clothes and stitches that were begging to be replaced, albeit a little dirtier than before. Julie reached a hand to touch the fluffiness of the soft bear, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

"How did you…"

"Let's just say we're gonna be performing a private concert at the airport on Thursday." Luke smiled, proudly at her.

Julie barely even heard him. She quickly gathered the bear from Luke's hands and clutched tightly to her chest, closing her eyes at the familiar yet nonexistent embrace of Mr. Harmelody. She bent her legs until her knees were fully folded against her chest, pushing the bear closer against her as her arms tightened around it.

Tears streamed down her face freely and she almost didn't register the feeling of her boys kneeling around her. The proximity brought even more comfort.

"Thank you." Julie croaked out, her eyes still shut firmly.

"Anytime, Jules." Alex rubbed her back as she cried softly.

Once her cries ceased, Julie looked up with puffy eyes at each of the boys who surrounded her. "Mr. Harmelody says thank you too." She grinned brightly.

"Aw," Reggie spoke as he placed his arms around all three of them. "I can't wait to put this on Instagram."

...

The next day Julie got an Instagram notification that she was tagged in a post from Reggie. The caption read:

"JATP moments like this>>>"

Julie smiled down at her phone when she saw a picture of the four of them kneeled on the carpet floor of her apartment gathered in a warm hug. Obviously, he chose not to post the full video, wanting to keep some parts of their lives separate from their fanbase.

After taking a look through the comments, she finally decided to comment one of her own.

“Mr. Harmelody is back in commission!"

lukepatterson replied to your comment: "damn right!"

alexmercer replied to your comment: "The unofficial member of Julie and the Phantoms"

Julie grinned happily as she laid her phone on her coffee table. Mr. Harmelody may have been her source of comfort then but now? She had her boys.

hope yall enjoyed!

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #alex mercer #reggie peters #jatp fanfic #jatp family #fanfiction #jatp julie #jatp alex #jatp reggie #luke jatp

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old-mornings-dusk · 4 years

Text

A Moment Alone

Rating: Explicit // +18 Relationship: John Marston/Arthur Morgan (Morston) Tags: Dom/sub, Light Bondage, Light Masochism, Fluff and Smut, Explicit Consent, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Abigail is with Sadie okay??, Not Beta Read, Established Relationship, Fantasizing Word Count: 3103

Summary: They agreed to meet at a shack in the forest, but John was late. And it's been a long time...(ngl it's just smut with fluff at the end)

Also on AO3 // One-shot under the cut!

Arthur surely had a lot of patience, but he couldn’t deny he was running out of it. How much time has passed since he arrived at the shack? John was late. He hoped the man was not in trouble again. It had been a long time since they last met privately like that, so he was very excited and eager for what was going to happen.

He sat on the bed and rested his arms on his thighs, bringing his hands together and rolling his thumbs.

He was getting worried. Should he go out and look for him?

Then he heard sounds outside the shack and looked through the open door, just to see John hitching Old Boy over there and then quickly walking towards the entrance. Thank God.

“I know I’m late, sorry ‘bout that. I’ll explain it later”, he told Arthur when he walked past the door, slamming it close behind him.

Arthur stood up immediately, a happy little smile showing up and welcoming hands slightly open for an embrace, and in the next second John got both hands on his face.

He tried to say he was glad he came, but was stopped by a very audible smooch on his lips, followed by a lick and open-mouthed kisses that kept going further down his neck. Arthur let out a deep sigh, one hand on John’s waist and the other on his shoulder, embracing him, and spoke with a grin:

“I know it’s been a while but I didn’t think ya would forget how to kiss properly.”

John stopped for a brief moment, just to look at Arthur and answer with a little hint of laughter on his voice:

“Oh so you want my kisses now, huh?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. You were tasting like blood last time , he wanted to answer, but instead he grabbed John by his waist with both hands and walked some steps, guiding him to the wall very next to the bed, pinned him there and said with a very deep voice that made John shiver with lust:

“Do I have to teach you again?”

The younger man smirked, didn’t even notice his own “I wouldn’t mind,” equally deep and full of desire and love.

That was enough for Arthur to jump on him, eagerly finding a way into his mouth. John groaned when his head hit the wall with a thud, adding more to Arthur’s excitement.

They needed this. It was quite a long time.

“Wanna do something different today”, John managed to say between wet kisses and deep breathes.

Then he grabbed Arthur by the waist and quickly turned him around, putting his back against the wooden wall. Of course he continued the interrupted kiss.

Arthur’s hands landed on John’s buttocks, grabbing and squeezing and trying to bring him closer. Every time he breathed out, he let a low noise come off his throat.

Arthur nearly hissed when John shoved a leg between his own. So little touches and he was already too hard. The younger had his mouth on Arthur’s neck again, his hands attempting to open the buttons from his blue shirt. At this point their hats were already laying on the ground.

“Hmm, what’s on your mind I wonder”, Arthur teased.

“You’ll see.”

John pushed him hard towards the bed after finishing with the buttons, the man dropped on his back, gasping in surprise. He positioned himself properly while watching John undress quickly in front of him, never breaking eye contact. His mouth slightly open admiring the view.

“Mind doing the same for me?”, John asked and Arthur smirked, nodding. He added:

“Please keep the shirt on.”

“Sure,” the older answered, slightly confused, but curious.

Arthur’s mouth watered when John took off his union suit, being completely exposed. He was a beautiful man, he thought, skinny but with some muscles and a lot of scars. Lots of thin hair, too. Not to mention the hard meat between his legs. But Arthur had an unorthodox thing for scars. He loved how rough and mean they made a man look, especially on the face. And he also loved the irony that scars could also mean someone was lucky to not die because of their stupidity.

Because John undressed first, he helped Arthur get rid of his remaining pieces of clothing. He didn’t wear anything under the pants and in a moment he was equally exposed, except he was still wearing the open shirt.

“I don’t see how this is much different”, Arthur said, remembering what John told him before. John, reaching out to Arthur’s neckerchief somewhere between the rest of his clothes, answered:

“That’s where this comes in.”

He waved the piece of clothing in front of Arthur. The man imagined he wanted to use it as a blindfold or gag, his cock twitching and his face warming at the thought. But what John said next made him open his eyes wide.

“May I tie your wrists to the bed?”

“Oh, yes.”

The answer came immediately. Arthur never did something like that, but he thought about that many times. He might be a little submissive if you squint. Arthur felt his face tingle with excitement and a bit of embarrassment when John tied his wrists together and then to the headboard, just a little above his head.

Moving his arms to test how restricted he was, Arthur sucked his lower lip. What he said next might have or might have not meant to be spoken out loud:

“You really make a man imagine things, Marston.”

John’s smirk widened and he positioned himself on top of Arthur, sitting on his thighs. He placed both hands on the other’s pecs, massaging slowly.

“What are you fantasizing about, then?”

Arthur sighed deeply. That was too good. And they barely had started. John’s hard cock pressing against his own made Arthur involuntarily move his hips, earning a sharp breath from the other.

He actually thought of something he’d like to do with John, but he was afraid of what the other might think about it. As if reading his mind, John told him:

“Come on, tell me. Promise I won’t judge”, and his hands were now on Arthur’s nipples, playing with them very slowly and softly. It felt amazing, but not enough. Deep moans started to build on his throat, released when John started to grind slowly against Arthur’s erection.

“If you don’t tell me, you won’t earn anything more than this”, John told him with a lazy tone, running his thumb around Arthur’s nipples even slower.

“Mm okay… Okay… There’s a scenario… You’re a-ah! -bounty hunter”, the older man finally started, wanting more touches.

“I think I like this. Tell me more” John answered with a twitched smile, then rewarded him by lowering his head and giving the right nipple a caress with his tongue. He also repositioned himself so he was lying on Arthur, with his mouth now kissing the other nipple. Arthur closed his eyes to try to concentrate on what to say, overwhelmed by the new form of pleasure he was receiving.

“Oh God… Y-you find me and… hogtie me… Damn!” he whined while John proceeded to suck and bite lightly one nipple and pinching the other. His cock began to ache at how hard he was. Arthur felt the slick of John’s pre-cum on his thigh and moved his leg gently to rub on John’s prick. The other started to rub slowly against him with a breathen moan.

“John, please…”

“Don’t stop, Morgan”, he commanded. Arthur sighed and felt his cheeks burn with his next thought. He opened his eyes but avoided eye contact.

“Then I say… I say I’ll do anything for you if you let me go, so y-ah”, he couldn’t restrain a little moan when he finally felt John’s hand around his cock, moving slowly but with a firm grip. Arthur knew he had to keep talking if he wanted more.

“…so you… Umm… Use me…”

John licked his lips and positioned himself even lower on the bed, so he could spread Arthur’s legs a bit. Arthur observed eagerly while John picked up a small bottle from his jacket’s pocket and held it on his left hand, coming back down to Arthur’s cock and holding it with the other hand, and he licked the tip with a very obscene face, receiving a long, deep whine. Then John said:

“You’ll need to explain better” and licked again, this time from base to top, curling his tongue around the tip. Arthur closed his eyes again. It was so damn good but he needed even more. He bit his lip and then continued explaining his fantasy:

“You fuck me real hard…”

John hummed while sucking the tip, his tongue rolling around it, tasting the pre-cum. Arthur felt a cold shivering that went through all his body, and started to feel desperate. Then he abandoned all of the remaining embarrassment when John put it all inside his mouth, hot and wet, and Arthur continued speaking moving his hips:

“A-and then you spank me like…like you’re teaching me a lesson– Oh fuck!” the older nearly screamed when he felt a slicky finger slip inside him. How had he not noticed when John opened the bottle, he wondered, but that thought expired quickly, because damn had he enjoyed the sudden feeling! It hurt a bit since he clenched in surprise, but Arthur didn’t take too long to relax and feel it even better, with the help of John’s wet mouth around his cock. John let go of Arthur for a second to reply:

“Didn’t know you were into this kinda’ stuff”, a twitched smirk again. John was enjoying this so much he was leaving a wet spot on the bed. And he added a second finger on Arthur’s tight hole, enhancing the pleasure of the green-eyed outlaw.

“Do I bite you? Leave marks on your neck?”, John teased. He was genuinely curious at how much Arthur was willing to let him do.

“Hah, yes”, now Arthur was locking eyes with John, as if begging “ask me more” with a look. And John really did.

“Do I grab your hair and tug it hard?”, this question was followed by an increase in the speed of the fingers moving in and out Arthur.

“Fuck, yes…!”

At this point Arthur was panting and moaning at each breath. He loved how John quickly understood what he wanted him to do and was asking just the right questions.

“Do I slap your face so you might learn to be a good boy?”, this time John crawled up on the bed and put his mouth very near to Arthur’s left ear. He made sure his voice was low and deep when he asked that. And the only thing Arthur could do was whine.

“Goddamn yes!”

He tried to keep eye contact, but John curled his fingers inside him rubbing that sweet spot, so his eyes squinted and rolled to the back of his skull. Arthur couldn’t stop the high-pitched sound he made, instinctively trying to cover his mouth with a hand and tugging at the piece of cloth.John starred with hungry eyes and repeated the movement, making Arthur squirm under him. It took very much of him to not come right there. Then he removed the fingers, receiving a long sigh in response.

“You wanna know why I was late?” John asked. Arthur couldn’t look more confused. Why bring this up right now? John understood the clueless face and continued while he opened the bottle again, pouring more of it’s liquid on his hand.

“I was preparing myself nicely for you. Look,” he said while repositioning himself, legs on both of Arthur’s sides and left hand on the headboard balancing him. And then John inserted two fingers on himself easily, moving them. Arthur’s eyes were wide, his jaw dropped, his cock harder than ever. John made little guttural sounds at his self pleasure.

“Holy…!” The word came involuntarily out of Arthur’s mouth, making John grin with pride. He loved how Arthur was slowly coming undone thanks to him.

“You want to be inside me?”, the younger asked with a naughty smile. Arthur couldn’t deny.

“Yes, please.”

John took his fingers off, now gripping Arthur’s cock and slowly sliding it inside. He gritted his teeth and hissed when the head was completely in. It didn’t hurt, but was always a weird feeling.

“Don’t move.”

Arthur admired in awe. Eyes moving from John’s face to his entrance, lips pressed together trying to control himself from thrusting up. God, John was amazing in every means, his hole so tight, warm and slick, Arthur was getting close. And then he felt John release all his weight over his hips, sitting on him, Arthur’s cock deep inside him. And John didn’t let a single moan come out loud, only a breathy sigh. He bit his lower lip and smirked, again, while Arthur panted and groaned.

“Heh, you look like you’re the one being fucked, Morgan.”

“Hn, son of a…b-bitch.”

“You can’t even say something without stuttering!” John provoked and rolled his hips, feeling Arthur deep inside him. He kept moving like that, rhythmically and slowly, his both hands on Arthur’s chest, thumbs caressing his nipples again.

“That’s… not… true!” Arthur managed to say a word each time he breathed out. John giggled and moved his hips back, slowly, until only the tip was inside him and then quickly moved forward.

God, that felt like heaven, for both men. John finally sounded as loud as Arthur, feeling it hit right there , and the older jolted his hip upwards, desperate for release. John repeated the quick movement again and again, letting out delicious moans of pleasure as he encouraged Arthur to thrust into him and started to work on his own cock too. And Arthur felt like he couldn’t last any longer. The warm, tight pressure around his erection was too much, John riding him eagerly, his face of pure delight, the sounds he was making, he loved it. He loved him.

He wanted to touch him, but the article of cloth that tied him to the headboard was making it impossible. He tried to warn John, but could barely formulate his sentences.

“John I’m c- ...damn, y-you’re so… Oh fuck! John!”

But John understood him and increased his efforts, willing for his own orgasm too, and Arthur came with a loud groan, trembling, John riding him through each release, feeling his lover’s seed filling him two, three times and not stopping. Quite the opposite, he moved his hips up and down frantically, his hand following the rhythm, wanting to come as quick as possible before Arthur couldn’t bear with oversensitivity.

Arthur’s mind was blank. He couldn’t think, just feel. And he felt amazing, even if it was a little too much. His cock was still hard and slick with come, John’s hole engulfed him completely and it started to hurt. But he couldn’t ask him to stop, all that came out of his mouth was moans and grunts, not an understandable word.

And then John came all over Arthur’s belly and chest with a genuine cry, sitting still on him and feeling the other so deep inside him, in the right angle, and he milked himself to the last drop, his ass clenching tight around Arthur. It was when the older felt it was too much and started squirming desperately below him, trying to free his cock. And we know how strong Arthur is.

Right when John started to get up, Arthur broke the wooden headboard. And this startled both, much that John jumped and fell off the bed.

Arthur stayed motionless for a couple seconds until he figured out what happened. The broken piece of wood was swinging right in front of his face, tied by Arthur’s neckerchief. He looked at it, sitting up, and then at John when he heard him:

“...ouch.”

He was sprawled on the floor, looking at the ceiling. Thankfully it didn’t hurt at all, and he started to laugh at the situation, so that Arthur was relieved.

“Are you okay?” He asked with a hint of laughter, knowing it was nothing serious.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Better than ever.”

Arthur smiled and blushed a little, as John wasn’t being ironic. He too didn’t feel this good since once when they fucked in the fanciest hotel room they’d been, where they had plenty of time and thick walls allowing them to be as loud as they wanted to.

“Here, let me untie this for you.”

John stood up and took Arthur’s hands on his, carefully undoing the knot to not damage the neckerchief, and freeing Arthur (and the broken piece of wood), who breathed a sigh of relief. John was badly surprised at how red Arthur's wrists were.

“...my God, Arthur, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

He sat at the edge of the bed bending his leg, and instinctively brought one of Arthur’s wrists next to his own face and kissed the skin very softly.

“Does it hurt much?”

Arthur smiled at the sweet gesture. He hadn't paid attention to the pain in his wrists until now, but it wasn’t unbearable. He certainly pulled too hard on it, it wasn’t exactly John’s fault.

“No, not really… It’s okay. Come here,” he said, caressing John’s face with that hand and moving forward to kiss him. Their lips met in a soft, caring kiss that warmed them with love. John moved himself to a better position, legs beside Arthur’s own, making the older lie down again on the bed, not ever breaking their kiss. Then Arthur opened his mouth to lick his way inside John’s, resting his hands on the other’s neck. After a moment, John started kissing Arthur’s jaw and cheek, who took the opportunity to make a comment:

“You taste like dick.”

“Shut up, it’s your dick!” John answered humorously with a wide smile making them laugh, and they locked eyes for a while, lost in each other’s sight, savoring the rare sweet moment. Oh, how Arthur loved those big softened grey eyes, not the usual frown John always had at camp…

“I love you…”

Did… did he really say it? Did he think too loud?

Maybe he did, because John’s smile grew even wider as he rested his forehead on Arthur’s.

“I love you too… even if you think my kisses taste bad!”

“Okay, but I still like them,” and then they kissed again, softer, smoother and better than any kiss they’ve ever experienced.

#morston #arthur morgan x john marston #john marston x arthur morgan #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 smut #red dead redemption 2

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