#dan heng rambles

[kaizdreamz]

Dan Heng rambles

i. ok listen, i know - i just did a fic with him, but- ok so. heres a funny story,

.

.

i love him a lot,, iM SOrRY

sfw and nsfw. 18+

SFW

Dan heng who seems to be so put together and reserved to everyone else but melts against your hugs. Prefers having his head on your chest, his ear listening to your heart. but he does not mind if the roles were switched, he'll hold you against his chest and kiss the top of your head.

He loves when you hold his hand when no one is looking, squeezing it gently when you notice his anxiety. He loves when you guys are cuddling you play with his hair. Kissing and twirling it around your fingers, the gentle scent of the shampoo he uses filling your senses.

he adores it when you get pouty at him because he stayed up too late entering stuff into the data banks. You'll pull him away from his work, pulling his head against your chest, giving him gentle head scratches and laying down on his futon with him in your arms.

Dan heng swears he never gets sick as he is always cautious. But every now and then, he'll get a common cold, or the flu. And he'll refuse for you to touch him as he doesn't want you to become sick as well, but the moment you have your arms around him, or the moment you're so close to him, spoon feeding him soup you made in the kitchen. His heart flutters and he can't help but ignore the sickness, and ask for one kiss, or one hug. (It's never just one)

hes such a nervous lover, hes scared you'll get hurt by him or his past. he's slow and patient (i may expand on this ehe), he'll treat you as if you were a sacred treasure for him, and him only. his lips are sensitive and when you kiss him it feels 10x warmer and softer.

he gets cold easily, he doesnt complain though. he'll just wrap a blanket over his lap and continue working in the databank, if you're there with him, he'll subtly scoot over to you and continue reading. eventually it'll turn into cuddling, his arms around your waist, his face buried in your neck. soft and gentle touches make his heart swell, brushing your lips on his knuckles, booping his nose with your own, forehead nuzzles, everything, it makes him feel so soft and he loves you more and more.

"starlight", "love", "sweetie", those petnames he'll use when its just the two of you, in a soft setting, holding his hand. cuddling, even before you two go to sleep, he'll call you any of those.

(18+ nsfw, mdni)

"baby", "Honey", and any of the likes, he'll use when you two are sharing a very intimate moment together. he'll be out of breath, whining and moaning against your lips, his large hand wrapped around your waist, hugging you against him. he'll be gentle, he doesnt fuck, he makes love in my opinion.

he'll be so lost in the pleasure he'll babble on about how much you mean to him, how good it feels, he's never felt this way before. its overwhelming for him, he'll leave soft kisses on your face and neck.

he'll whisper in your ears how close he is, his hips would stutter, his rhythm would falter, he begs you to cum with him. calling you his pretty lover, his sweetheart, his sweet baby. he'll kiss your lips, moaning breathlessly in your mouth, poor thing falls apart in your arms.

"love, please- i'm, ah- im so close," he whimpers in your ear, one hand on your hips, bringing you closer to him as he thrusts inside of you. the other caressing your face, listening to every moan and whimper you emit.

you call him your good boy, and he'll just LOSE IT. his eyes flutter close, his face buried in the crook of your neck, his grip on your hips would tighten for a moment. the rocking of his hips would stutter so much, he'll bite his lip to stop a loud moan. a muffled whimper as you give him sweet praises. your hands on his thighs.

"you're doing so well," he'll whimper, as he reaches closer to his climax. "my good boy, loving me so well," you coo in his sensitive ear. "i'm so close- Dan heng.." you moan wrapping your arms around him, hugging his body. "f-fuck, dan heng..!" you tighten around him, he'll press his body against yours, his cock twitching inside of you. his naval pressed so sweetly against your body, his body rubbing against your sensitive genitalia.

"c-cum for me, you're so good- s-so pretty.." he'll smash his lips against yours, rubbing your tip/clit as you near your orgasm.

"I-i love y-you, D-Dan heng," you breath out, your back arches as he hits your sweet spot. you tighten around him so much he can barely move. his eyes widen, watching your body arch, your blunt nails digging into his muscles, your blissful expression and your breathy moan.

his orgasm follows suit after yours, his hips faltering to a stop, a loud high pitched moan escapes his mouth as he buries his head in your chest. he's out of breath, he'll be so wobbly in the knees unsure if he can sit up to pull out of you. you press a gentle kiss on his neck, smiling softly at him catching his breath.

he'll eventually pull out of you, hissing lightly as he moves his hips back. he'll try to resist the urge to just lay down on top of you, he'll groggily put his boxers on and run to grab a warm towel to clean you up, kissing you sweetly and whispering sweet things in you ear as you tiredly help assist him in cleaning you up.

once you're cleaned he'll help you dress in comfortable clothes, his shirt or his pajama pants, or both. laying next to you, watching your expressions relax as you melt in his arms. you reassuring him that he didnt hurt you, and you love him so so much makes his heart swell, he has to hold back tears because he's so happy.

you two fall asleep entangled in each others arms, sweet dreams and gentle heartbeats. the world can wait, the only thing that matters is you and him.

OH AND HE REALLY LIKES WHEN YOU BOTHER HIM LOVINGLY-

im sorry its so long i love him a lot and i kind of went off during the nsfw part- gaahh!! /pos

[jennifer-jeong]

[Smut + Fluff] [gn!Reader] Warmth

SUMMARY A warm late afternoon with your one and only

CONTENT NSFW, 18+, smut, fluffy smut, gender neutral reader, kissing, nipple play, mostly suggestive, ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

WORD COUNT: 554

I wrote this with them in mind: KAMO CHOSO, GOJO SATORU, ASTARION, DAN HENG, AVENTURINE

It’s late afternoon and the golden sun seeps warmth in through the windows of your bedroom. You walk in with your boyfriend and he falls onto the bed with a sigh, tired from the day and relaxing into the plush blankets. He’s sideways on the bed, legs dangling off while you change into pajamas. You turn around and smile at his sleepy self. You make your way over to climb over him and straddle him before laying your face down on his chest. Your hands are flat on his chest as you enjoy this moment together.

You give his collarbone some pecks before kissing up his neck, just wanting to show him some love. But soon it turns into a makeout session, your hands reaching up to hold his face while his hands snake down your waist to grab at your ass, making goosebumps rise where his hands slide over. You moan into his mouth while he kneads the plush of your ass. Your tongues swirl together as you taste each other like you’re starving. The kiss continues to get more heated as you tangle fingers into his hair and lightly tug. His hands slide back up your body to pull your shirt up. Even though it's just the skin of your back, him just touching you turns you on. He eventually ghosts over your nipples with his thumbs and it makes you shiver. It’s so much more intense since it’s a bundle of nerves but also because he’s made you so hot and sensitive. The pleasure pools in your core quickly and it makes you more and more needy.

You grind down on him and pull back as he gives you a light moan in response. Saliva connects your puffy lips together as you both breathe heavy, the air feeling hotter and heavier than a few moments ago.

You look down to see an obvious tent in his pants which makes you exhale hard. Knowing that his body is reacting this way because of your ministrations, just does something to you.

“S-sorry…” he says bashfully as his cheeks heat up and he turns his head away from you.

His head stays turned but his eyes look back at you, embarrassed but needy, awaiting your response.

“Why are you apologizing?” You question while smiling, giving him a peck on his cheek.

You slide down his body, hands trailing over his chest and stomach as you situate yourself near his core.

He props himself up on his elbows to watch you, eyebrows upturned, desperate to feel you but not knowing if he should vocalize it.

“Why don’t you let me take care of you?” You ask, fingers hooking under the band of his pants and boxers. You hold eye contact with him and his breath hitches. “Let me make you feel good,” you lower your voice seductively, still looking up at him with doe eyes. He swallows hard as you continue to pull his pants down.

“Fuck,” he says, throwing his head back. “Love you s’much darling,” he looks back at you, stroking a hand through your hair “I’ll take good care of you after, too.”

The sun continued to slowly set while you indulged in each other, golden hues illuminating your skin as desperate whispers of love spewed from your lips over and over.

Thank you for reading!

|| MASTERLIST ♡ ||

[ruanmnei]

thinking about how pretty dan heng would look like as he’s balls deep in you… like eyes tearing up, red tinted cheeks as he fucks you into oblivion, pussy so good bro just HADD TO CRY🙏

[nomazee]

keep my blankets warm and my name in your mouth

after a night of soaring through belobog's liquor, you finally face the consequences of it on the floor of your hotel room. thankfully, dan heng has experience with taking care of idiots (i.e. you)

dan heng x gn reader — drunkenness, sweet and sappy and sarcastic, dan heng is probably ooc, reader is trailblazer but this is set vaguely in canon & lore doesn't matter, stupid people who love each other but never say it, are they dating or are they toeing the line of cohabitation in the middle of a hotel room?

sequel here

notes: oh gawsh hey guys... yeah yeah it's been forever since i posted but i giggled at all the requests i miss and then instead of doing those i wrote this, but TRUST i am getting back to all of you in a timely manner i love you all thank you so much for sticking with me, i'm coming out with a follower event once i hit 1k (soon) so be excited! love you guys and enjoy

—°+..｡*ﾟ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡.—

Dan Heng is an awful caretaker, really, and you should’ve known this because of his deadpan and often awkward nature. It just never really occurred to you until he’s truly saddled with taking care of a living, breathing thing—i.e., you, drunk and vomiting into a trash can after a spree through Belobog’s bars. 

In your defense, having no memories means having no experiences to your name (other than everything you’ve been through on the Express so far, which is maybe more near-death experiences than you’d like to have), and you heard that being drunk was just something everybody experiences at least once. 

Then, Pela texted you that one time asking for quick tips to sober up, and it dawned on you that you don't even know what that feels like, and then—who cares, really, you don’t have half a mind to think of your tragic pre-drunk backstory when you’re trying not to die of embarrassment as Dan Heng maneuvers you in a way that won’t get vomit on your clothes. 

The cold tiles of the Goethe Hotel en suite bathroom aren’t enough to bring you to full awareness, so you let Dan Heng ragdoll you into kneeling over the trash can and pull any dangling accessories away from your, um, line of fire. 

“Why would you guys let me do this?!” you wail in disbelief, trying to hold back a mouthful of bile but ultimately failing as you cough into the bin again. You’re truly betrayed at the thought that your closest friends wouldn’t warn you of things like alcohol poisoning, and pacing yourself, and how many drinks is too many drinks. 

“I didn't let you do anything,” your friend retorts, because he’s evil and mean and awful at comforting you, “I told you it would be a bad idea. You’re the one that still went out.” 

“Did I puke in front of everyone?” 

Dan Heng pauses, which is always a bad sign. It means he’s thinking, really thinking about what to say. “At the very least, you puked in the snow and not inside the restaurant.” 

A desperate wailing noise escapes you yet again. Life is cruel, and Dan Heng is crueler. He should’ve told a sweet little white lie and you would’ve been none the wiser and a lot less mortified. “Himeko laughed so hard when we found you that Welt had to make her leave.” 

“Just kill me,” you whisper into the trash can, full of your hopes and dreams and the remnants of your dinner and drinks. “I can’t go back to the Express. Execute me and give me a gentle death.” 

“No need to be dramatic,” he says, annunciating his words in that odd little way he does, and it makes you want to kiss him and read a dictionary to you, cover to cover. “You need to drink water, and then brush your teeth. I don’t trust you showering right now so you have to wait until the morning.” 

“Oh, Dan Heng,” you keen, with the grief of a spouse watching their partner go off to war, “you don’t even want to wash my hair for me?! You just think I’m— I’m a drunken slob!” 

“Be quiet,” he commands through his teeth, embarrassment warming him up—you can feel it, the way the tips of his fingers go a little bit warm from where they rest on your shoulder and the side of your face. “You— I don’t think that. You need to brush your teeth.” 

You definitely are not brushing your teeth tonight. You tell Dan Heng as much but he just rolls his eyes and compromises with a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash that he pulls from the cabinet under the sink. He’s so prepared. Or maybe that’s just the hotel staff. Regardless. 

You rinse your mouth out once you’re fine enough to let Dan Heng pull you up to your feet and rest you against the counter of the sink. He has to remind you multiple times to not swallow the mouthwash, and you bat at him childishly for thinking you’d ever do such a thing—except, you definitely would have drinken down an entire mouthful if he didn't say anything. You can’t bear to look at your reflection in the mirror. You just pray to whatever Aeon is listening that there’s no awful stains on your clothes, and that you don’t smell so terrible that Dan Heng goes running the minute he lets go of your arm. 

“Where’s March?” you whine out as he leads you from the bathroom to the main hotel room, trying to gently set you down on your bed but giving up once you immediately fall into it like an ungraceful rock. “She would be so much nicer. You’re mean. Do I smell bad?” 

“I’m not mean,” he tells you, sure of himself and the twist of his mouth as he avoids looking you right in the eyes. “You don’t smell. You need to go to bed. And lay on your side.” Petulantly, and not without some kicks of your legs and flails of your arms, you find yourself situated under the sheets of the hotel bed, sock somehow off your feet now as Dan Heng pulls the blankets right up to your shoulders. 

“I’m on my side now. Do I get a reward?”

“Why would you need a reward?” 

A disgruntled tsk escapes you and you look up at Dan Heng with an exasperated expression. It’s pitiful enough to guilt him into kneeling down beside your bed so that he’s at eye level with you. “Because I went through so much tonight,” you slur out, words starting to mix with each other as a result of your remaining drunkenness and the exhaustion of the night hitting you. “I’ll take a, um— a gold star, or something.” 

“I can give you a cup of water in the morning.” 

Another dreadful wail escapes you. You’ve never faced evil more potent than Dan Heng, and by the stupid twinge of a smile on his face, he knows what he’s doing. You hate how endearing he is, and how he dangles little treasures like this in front of you. You’re brought back to the heat of his fingers from earlier, the gentle touches he left on your shoulders as he let you puke your guts out without even flinching. As much as you joke, you know Dan Heng’s kindness comes from a lack of evil. Comes from a supporting weight against your arms, comes from travel-size mouthwash, comes from staying in your hotel room until you fall asleep and double-checking that you’re on your side. 

In the morning, you’ll take the cup of water, and you’ll take him out for breakfast, too.

—°+..｡*ﾟ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡.—

[the--firevenus]

“I am scared to lose you, when we have finally found each other.”

-Quote from my fav fanfic ever exist, and I've applied it to all my ships ever since <3

[redcallisto]

[...]

[yaekiss]

no thoughts just dragon dan heng in heat being horny 24/7. like you'll have to physically DRAG this man off your dick so he doesn't kill you of exhaustion. i will take my leave now

꩜ Room Content: Dom! Top! GN! Reader x Sub! Bottom! IL Dan Heng, no gendered terms for reader, reader has a cock, mentions of IL Dan Heng having 2 dicks, breeding kink, mating press, lmk if I missed out anything ! ꩜ A/N: ANON UR BRAINNNNNN, this brainrot plagued me for like a week as evident from this other ramble I wrote for Dan Heng orz... THE GRIP THIS MAN HAS ON MY BRAIN (and my dick) !! KEEP UR IDEAS COMING ANON (just like how Dan Heng keeps you coming in him I MEAN WHATTT)

Under the influence of his heat, Dan Heng is near insatiable.

You can always tell when his heat is coming up with the way he’s constantly trying to rile you up. Trailing a hand up your thigh under the table when you sit next to him in the parlor car, sinfully whispering about how he needs you inside him right nowwww! He becomes increasingly clingy, dragging you off to his room to cuddle and wrap his tail around you like he’s trying to press every inch of him onto your skin. It’s not surprising if the cuddle session turns a little more heated when he tries to rut against your thigh as he crams his face into the crook of your neck to inhale your scent. 

If you thought he was bad before his heat, you’re ill-prepared for the whore he becomes during his heats. Really, it’s as if he can’t live without your dick inside him 24/7, always whining and begging, close to tears when you need to stop and pull out of him to catch your breath. Normally, Dan Heng wouldn’t behave like this. However, one must not underestimate the neediness of a dragon in heat. Need to go shower? It’s ok you can fuck him in the shower, he can suck you off as he kneels on the tiled floor. Need go to the kitchen to grab something to eat? He’s following you and spreading his ass so you can eat him out. Huh, that’s not what you meant??

“Let’s go for hhah… one muh- more round, please [name]!”

It’s a little ridiculous how slutty he gets, all the knowledge he’s gained from the erotica he secretly reads every time he misses you at night is finally getting put to good use. He wants you to fuck him in every position possible but he absolutely loves it when you manhandle him into a mating press, the feeling of you reaching unthinkably deep in him gets him all shaky with lust. The searing grip you have on the back of his thighs as you push his knees up to his shoulders combined with how your length slides into his warm hole has him giddy with pleasure. He’s purring loudly at how your cock hits all the right spots in him and his tail is flicking wildly on the bed. Stuffing him full of your cum isn’t enough, he needs to get bred. 

“Hnngh! You ff- fuck! -feel so sososo good in mE!! Breed me breed me pleaseplease [naME]!”

Nothing is stopping him from wringing out every single drop of cum from you, if you tire easily, no problem, he’ll just ride you! As much as you’d like to complain, the sight above you is fucking gorgeous. Dan Heng has his head thrown back in pure ecstasy, his makeup is smudged, tongue lolling out of his mouth as he moans and cries. When he bounces on your cock, his own dicks slap up against his tummy and he whimpers so beautifully at the added stimulation. His walls clamp down hard on your length to try to milk you for all you’re worth. He doesn’t have to worry about not being able to walk tomorrow because as far as he knows, the two of you will be fucking alllll week! (Dan Heng’s line of reasoning is: No need to walk if all you’re gonna do is fuck uncontrollably like bunnies!)

He only has one thing on his mind: getting bred by you ♡

Thanks for reading! Consider supporting me on kofi if you enjoyed this or check out my other works hehe ♡

[yuuzuforia]

dan heng dan heng dan heng—nothing in the brain but the damn guy that has male living space in the fucking archives!! nothing in the brain but his cold dragon young ass crushing on you!!

dan heng that probably knows you like that back of his hand, i shit you NOT he knows what you like, what you don’t like—the moment you start talking about it, he’s memorized it and stored it in his brain. flowers? he knows exactly what kind and what color. food? he knows what you like and find disgusting.

dan heng who is kinda (he hates to admit it) enjoys the attention you give him. he ain’t slick with that way he’s hiding that blush when you tell him “that’s so interesting! you gotta tell me more!” even when he pardons himself because he catches himself rambling, and you urge him to continue?? fuck, he’s floored.

dan heng who enjoys small acts of skinship. especially when he likes you, alot. the gentle tug of his hand when you both are in belabog as you both navigate through the streets to find a place to sit down. or his steady hold on your hand as you make the warps/jumps in the astral express traveling. if he knows you get scared easily, he’ll let you hold his hand throughout the wrap until you let go. you once gave him a pat on the shoulder with a big smile and saying “nice one, dan heng!” and he never forgot how happy he felt after that. the praise made him happy for the whole day it was obvious.

i am a firm believer of pinky linking with dan heng idc what you tell me. PINKY LINKING WITH DAN HENG.

dan heng, who is jealous! especially when other people show clear cut interest in you as a partner. he’s slightly pouty and grumbles but only in private ;> he’d rather get swallowed by the earth than telling you he feels…jealous because he wants your gaze on him, just him.

dan heng who is, despite it all, terrified of telling you how he feels :( his past, his burdens and worries—all of it goes away when you’re both together but how long could that last? and the idea of you…being bothered by his worries and past scares him. he knows he wants to trust you but he is scared. scared that, once you find out—things will never be the same and that everything would be terrifyingly different and that the trust you developed in him would be broken. one day, he’ll tell you all about it but for now—he wishes to enjoy the innocent smile free from the troubles he’ll face.

—after all, all of this is going to be future dan heng’s problem ( ´∀｀) not his!

[larkspurglove]

Now that I think about it, the High Cloud Quintet’s story is peak unreliable narrator both in-universe and from a meta perspective.

Jingliu and Blade are mara struck and crazy, and both have significant memory issues. Dan Heng isn’t even the same guy that was involved with the HCQ and his memories are also dodgy. Jing Yuan was still relatively young during their prime and was mainly involved with the consequences of the fallout and not the catalyst itself. Baiheng is fucking dead.

Not to mention that there’s apparently a dodgy writer who’s was put in charge of overseeing Jingliu’s story, and as such made Baiheng the centre of the HCQ falling apart when, in universe, there should’ve really been any other catalyst. Hell, if I cope hard enough maybe the shitty writing choice will get retconned and it turns out that it was a cover-up or something. (I mean realistically this won’t happen but a girl can hope)

Edit: the dodgy writer thing was a false rumour

[oddquake]

the best thing about the main trio in hsr is that it doesn’t matter if you picked caelus or stelle you’ll always end up with an obnoxious gay couple and an aroace third wheeling

[falling-star-cygnus]

does anyone else feel like Boothill's inability to swear is an unexplored angst concept?

it's a hilarious add to his character, don't get me wrong, i love his dialogue- but isn't it just like- -> a wee bit dehumanizing? think about it:

someone literally REPROGAMMED his speech patterns just bc they could

i- that's got to grate on him right??

like the knowledge that anytime, anywhere, this random scientist could pop up again and just- change him like that

Boothill: what the- Dan Heng: fuck Boothill: were you thinking, Rosie? were you trying to get yer- Dan Heng: fucking Boothill: dumb- Dan Heng: ass Boothill: killed!? Argenti: ...i recognize i'm being scolded right now but- what are you two doing? Dan Heng: Boothill's.. alteration doesn't adequately get the point we're trying to make across here, so i volunteered to fill in

[shinystealingbirb]

Some thoughts on Yanqing

I don’t quite know how or if Yanqing was shown in Honkai Impact, but I’d like to talk about my understanding of him.

Biiiiiiig cut.

I assume many think he’s a flat character. He’s a child prodigy who arrogantly took on two immortals leagues more powerful than himself, and couldn’t get over his loss. Right? Who went out seeking some strange person, who Jingliu almost treats like an amusing pet, who tried to shortcut his way to total mastery. Who desires a title of a championship rather than the art itself. That’s the mark of a flat character- no displayed motivation, and traits we’re told, rather than shown, exist.

This is what the game explicitly tells us. In fact, it takes pains to push this narrative, and in my opinion, it’s specifically because he’s never in our party. To Stelle, or Caelus, or whoever you play as, Yanqing will always be on the other side. He faced Dan Heng and Blade, who we controlled. He duelled Stelle and Kafka. Faced us under the voluntary control of a heliobi. The only time we control him is when Yanqing battles Jingliu, and even then, he was canonically alone. To the Trailblazer, he is a child. An irritatingly strong one, but a child nonetheless, ultimately a footnote in their journey.

So that’s what the game says. But I want to talk about what the game doesn’t really put out there as much, but becomes more obvious the more we encounter Yanqing.

It’s a little hard to explain- I got a kick in the balls when I went through the Fyxstroll Garden quests and got to Yanqing, but I’ll explain that in a moment. For now, allow me to begin with a brief explanation of his character in the way I see it, rather than what the game has taken pains to show us.

He’s a winner- all he’s done is win, and he is young. It’s all he’s known, training and success. He’s showered with praise that he easily tires of, and the General is the only one he spars with that consistently defeats him. This praise is the expectation, the norm. You must win can be a hell of a motivator.

So when he loses to Dan Heng and Blade, it rocks his fucking world. He had no idea where he was in terms of power- really, the only thing he had to compare himself to was Jing Yuan, and the gap there is enormous. He got a taste of a true life-or-death scenario, as opposed to the competition he’s accustomed to, and according to the heliobus, the two immortals- who are way out of his league- left him teetering on the brink of death.

In an attempt to discover his prowess, something outside of the meaningless praise and predictable spars with Jing Yuan, he was absolutely ripped apart by an undead Hunter and a reborn Elder. The worst part? The heliobus in the Fyxstroll quest says he would’ve died “if the hunter’s blade pierced him,” which could quite possibly mean Blade was holding back. Given he was in a rush to beat the shit out of Dan Heng, I doubt it, but it is a possibility that would add salt to the wound- being defeated without being cut once by Blade, only using the flat side of his sword to almost kill him?

So he’s aching from that loss. He got fucked up and knows exactly where he stands, and that’s the single greatest defeat he’s suffered in his life.

For some children, for those who began or became skilled, who build and build and gather ourselves, trying to fight good to become great, a fear we have to overcome is failure. And failure is the single more horrifying concept to a gifted child, the absolute worst outcome.

A normal person fails. Oh well. Time to move on with life.

A competitive or gifted child fails, it means something. It means the effort put in, every single move spent in our lives, every thought, every moment of practice or rest, even if not working on that skill specifically, was a waste of a life, and as failures, that child, too, is a waste. Failure is like death. The way I can best describe the feeling… your heart clenches. Cold sweat, a sudden mental blank. A spider crawls up your throat, and with every step your throat grows tighter, the sense of dread closer and closer until the spider has made its way up to your stinging nose, your tearing eyes, and you are humiliating yourself with those tears.

It’s hard for people who do not understand this to be empathetic. To these people, a loss like this is just a loss. Things like “you’ll get them next time” or “they were out of your league” are said, and these things will never be consolations.

We, the Trailblazers, do not understand why Yanqing goes back to it in his thoughts so often, why it is a pivotal moment for him, why it appears in his character lines, and why he speaks about that battle so ruefully. It was inevitable, we think, that he would lose, isn’t it?

Shouldn’t he know he would never have beaten him?

Of course he knows.

But Yanqing is a child. For all his power, all his cheer and skill, he is a child. He’s gifted, and loss stings really fucking bad if you’re gifted, if you’ve won and won and already realized that praise is false and results are king (his trace voiceline sounds so sarcastic when he speaks of praise.)

Now: we can go over Jingliu and Stelle’s battles if you wish- more salt in the wound, to twist the knife just a little more(loser, loser, loser)- but by far our most interesting encounter with Yanqing is in the Fyxstroll Garden quest.

He’s possessed by a heliobi who claims- and delivers- that he can teach any weapon and advance the soldier to a warrior beyond compare. Despite the memory-wiping effects of the heliobi after possession, I believe said possession- at least for this one- is voluntary.

After all these losses, Yanqing finds a spirit who pushed a Cloud Knight into something lethal, and the spirit tells him, “I have seen your losses, I see them inside your head. Offer me your sword; offer me your allegiance, your body, and I will make you great.”

Knowing he was almost killed for his naivety, knowing he has been painted as the enemy, knowing he has won and won for his entire gifted life, right up until he hasn’t… why do you think he takes it? Of course he’s desperate, of course there’s a nagging doubt, a painful needling that tells him hes not enough anymore, nothing is enough. Of course he allowed himself to be possessed.

After all, praise is empty. Results are king.

The real kicker comes when Jing Yuan gets there.

I think Jing Yuan’s reaction to Yanqing’s possession says a lot. He’s not surprised it was him, nor how easy it was to get into his head. He knows these things, understands they are part of growth and motivation. He is only disappointed because Yanqing has allowed himself to cheat, to find the shortcut.

He arrives at the island, and so calmly he says “Yanqing would never lift his sword against me.”

Yanqing raises his blade. And then he turns to the heliobi and demands a duel. He proceeds to rip the false Yanqing apart with all the speed and precision that Blade and Dan Heng dueled him with.

I’ve seen people talk about how Yanqing was put in a loaded situation. That his choice was made based on disappointing one teacher over the other. It’s not an unreasonable claim, but a shallow one, i based on the surface teacher-student dynamic and taking nothing the heliobi or Yanqing said into account.

It comes down to the choices he has: in that example, his choices are loyalty to a heliobi he only just met, or a teacher he’s known since he was a little kid. In this perspective, the choice is obvious.

This one is not an incorrect perspective, merely an incomplete one. I think the complete choice was as follows: Instant power from an unpredictable, harsh master, one who is asking strange things of him- attack your friends, attack your previous master, don’t you want power?!- or turn back to the training he feels he’s outgrown, mentored by a man who he holds in such high regard and, if his voice lines are any indication, would trust with his life in an instant.

He’s braver than I am for choosing Jing Yuan’s side. Yanqing’s been shown to have an honorable teacher, but we have not seen him put in a situation where he has to prove it. We couldn’t confidently say what he’d do.

This quest displayed his desperate side. The heliobi had already exploited it, promised and delivered power. The heliobi proved it could be trusted, for that at least. Jing Yuan is a trusted mentor, almost a father figure, but those methods led to failure at the most critical of times. This undoubtedly crossed his mind- it certainly crossed mine as I played through that quest- and I genuinely thought I’d have to fight him again.

Frankly, I’m astounded he chose Jing Yuan, and that surprise made, at least to me, made him feel complete.

Yanqing is a child, with a child’s complex emotions and weaker understanding. He is cheerful and confident, a trait easily confused with arrogance. He is competitive. His worth is based on his prowess with a sword. He knows praise is empty and results are king. He is desperate, but more than that he is loyal beyond his own desires, honorable to a fault, which is more than I could say about most adults, much less myself.

He’s flawed and requires a certain prerequisite to understand. Yanqing feels childish in a different way than Hook and Clara, in motivations rather than actions. He feels human, and I really like his character

[a-little-lostecho]

Currently thinking abt Jingliu’s story quest, spoiler’s ahead beware —

I’m thinking about how much of an impact Jingliu’s torture had on Blade and how fucking devastated Jingliu must’ve been to go through with it. I’m thinking about how Yingxing must’ve still been reeling from the new effects of the abundance and his possible regret and grief for ending up as the very thing he hated and swore to fight against—

I’m thinking about the way Jingliu must have chased him down after hearing or- or seeing and experiencing them attempt that resurrection and feeling utterly betrayed by two of her closest friends— two people who were supposed to be Baiheng’s closest friends— (How could they do that, how could they do that, how could they do that?!) —and swinging her sword, the Shard Sword (the one he made— the one he gave to her), at him mindlessly and hurt, with the intent to make Yingxing feel the same way.

I’m thinking about how Yingxing must’ve first felt when he died — the first taste of nothingness to cleanse him of the utter agony of devastation and grief, and then the horrible feeling of everything when he was resurrected again. I think about the way Yingxing, so open and honest, feeling so deeply, must’ve ley out a sob when his chest began to heave again. I think about the way Jingliu must’ve watched with tears of frustration and agony shining in her own eyes. (You did this to yourself. I failed by not stopping you but you and Yinyue-jun were the ones who disgraced her memory first — you have no right to cry like that!)

I think about the way Jingliu must’ve made a conscious effort to destroy his hands— his pride and joy, the ones that made the Shard Sword she turned against its creator. I imagine her throwing it on the ground after the first— or one of the first few of his many deaths, telling him to “Rise” and “Stand” to face her, forcing him to fight over and over again living over a hundred deaths as punishment for what he did.

I think about the way ‘Yingxing’ must’ve slowly died in this process of hours or days of endless torture and punishment with his heart as an artist splayed out and destroyed, flesh bared and heart unbeating as the artist in his mind marvels at the beauty and fantastical agony that became his existence until he no longer thinks; mind rewritten with Jingliu’s preachings of “The three who must pay the price.” and her merciless sword techniques and lessons. I think of how Yingxing, the existence that he was, had truly been killed and warped in all the suffering Jingliu imparted on him — and I wonder how they could ever mend that bridge again.

I think about Jingliu stopping only after the hundredth death as now Blade stands on steady feet with muscle memory from the past nth deaths until Jingliu turns her back with her final lesson and parting words; satisfied, but not fulfilled, by the way she’s carved her presence and regrets into Blade’s mind and body irreversibly. I think about the way she spared ‘mercy’ to him by leaving him astray and to escape the Xianzhou and Luofu. I think about the effort it must’ve taken Blade to chose aimless wandering over eternal sentence… or maybe that too had been Jingliu’s choice.

I think about Jingliu, walking away with nothing but white noise and mara screams, echos of the past, filling her mind until her body gives out from restless days of fighting Blade, forcing onto him the punishment she so strongly believed he deserved — because she couldn’t rest until the lesson had finally set in, what kind of teacher would she have been if she had? I’m thinking about the way her body collapses to the ground like a puppet cut from its strings with no one to catch her and no one to see her at her weakest as she mourns for everything they once had but can never have again because of what they did. Because of what all of them have become.

And finally, I think about the reports that must eventually reach Jing Yuan at the divine seat of foresight. I think about the way he must feel; knowing one of his friends is irreversibly dead and the other three have torn each other apart in that grief. I think about how destroyed he must be, choosing between his duty and his lovers— but finding all too much fault in the choices they made and the suffering they have caused. I think about the decisions he would have to make and the punishment he’d have to invoke on Dan Feng becoming Dan Heng in spite of his emotions, because he is the last one left. And if no one else can remain on the Luofu then he must be the one to carry their memories.

I think that the High Cloud Quintet are irreversibly scarred by themselves and by each other, and I wonder how they’ll ever be able to mend things.

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

I've only had Dan Heng and March 7th for 10 minutes but if anything happened to them I would start crying

[kazumist]

“stay still, or else your eyeliner is going to be all messy.”

“it’s not my fault that the brush is ticklish.”

“and yet this is the same brush you use when you do your eyeliner by yourself?”

you didn’t expect dan heng to ask you to do his eyeliner. not when he’s perfectly fine and used to doing it all by himself. yet here you two are now, with his face on one hand and his eyeliner on the other.

gently dragging the brush towards his lower eyelid, dan heng tries to stay still. but how? how can he stay still when you are this close to him? he can feel your hand slightly trembling; however, that was the least of his concerns. 

“it’s done. i think i did pretty well, but you should check it nonetheless.”

dan heng didn’t expect the moment to be over so soon. but he should be glad, right? at least now he doesn’t have to be all nervous due to your close proximity. he grabs the mirror that you gave him, checking out how you did his eyeliner. it was like how he did it, so he doesn’t really know what to say.

“thank you,” he says with a cough, attempting to get rid of the awkward silence that took over.

“it was nothing. but how come you asked me for help? i’m pretty sure you know how to do your own eyeliner.”

“well, do you think i would really trust march with this?”

a laugh erupts from you at his response. “hey, don’t be too harsh on her. i think she would do your eyeliner pretty fine.”

dan heng smiles.

maybe he should let you do his eyeliner more often.

[the--firevenus]

I have a personal hc that HSR MC acting menace a lot is just to avoid having dreadful thoughts of existential crisis, an unconscious mental self defense if you will, that's why the first thing Kafka advice them is "not to worry" as their story had "already been played out to them"

Caelus/Stelle seem to be content despite being literally born yesterday, the way they interact with trashcan and that closet scene seem child like, very imaginative (and fucking funny) thus slowly make you forget the why or what they are in the first place,,

The inner monologue from the dialogue option kinda gave me this energy: "hey haha yeah you have bomb in your body, but it's okay😊😊look shiny trashcan, don't think too much about why you exist, look at these shiny coins in the water fountain woooaahh, hm? What's that? You're questioning why you hear voices in your head?? Nah it's fine, let's hide in the closet and banish hotel demon!!"

Anyway I don't have anywhere to go with this, but I just love the contrast of the trailblazer lore (that heavily allude to be heavy angst) and the funny idiotic moments they did 😭

Head? Empty, Trauma? Repressed, Hotel? Trivago