#dani on the verge of breakdown: this is fine

[ray-gt]

Close Quarters

Some more Dani and Lilah. In my head this one isn’t too long after the original events in Something’s Shifted - maybe only a few months after. They still have no idea what’s causing the shifts and are well and truly over their heads, but try their best to continue on with life as normal. Lilah’s shifts are just as unpredictable as ever and she’s getting used to the fact that Dani knows. Dani, for her part, is still coming to terms with the fact her girlfriend is a giant and is trying to navigate what it means to be Lilah’s anchor.

***

Dani parked the car in front of the national park welcome centre. She had the pick of the lot as it was well after operating hours and all the other staff had gone home. Over the last few weeks, it’d become more common for to Lilah work late but Dani didn’t mind. It was nice to not be the one sneaking in at all hours for once, dinner well and truly cold.  She’d come straight from the office and the lukewarm Thai sitting in the passenger seat had been taunting her stomach throughout the drive.

She parked as close as she could to the front door, marvelling at the way the blustering winds shook the car. Even though she was only a short distance away from the door, she doubted she’d get inside before the weather made a meal of her.

Shrugging, she grabbed the Thai, her phone and keys and slipped her feet into her Birks, having left her heels in her desk drawer. Then she muscled the door open and was immediately met with the winter winds trying to strip her of it. The door flew back on its hinges to full extension and flooded the car with biting cold. Dani grit her teeth against it, got out and closed the door with a definitive bum of her hip. She locked the car, knowing there was little need and hurried to the building, regretting she hadn’t tied up her hair before leaving the safety of the car.

Once inside, she was met with the glorious warmth and stillness of the centre, lit only by the greenish glow of the exit signs. Outside, the weather raged on like a beast knowing its prey was just out of reach. She shuddered at the sudden shift in temperature, keen to lose her thick coat and reacclimatise to heat.

She wandered through the visitor’s centre, which marked the public-facing part of the building, with the ranger offices through the back. Usually the building would be locked at this hour, but Lilah knew she was coming and had left the front open.

With the wind beating at the windows and the trees outside blocking any other lights, the usually joyful welcome centre, full of bright colours, huge murals of local wildlife, and, of course, a gift shop was now dark and shadowy.

Still, Dani continued. This was far from her first night at the centre and would be far from her last. If anything, the eeriness made her smile. Lilah told her once that, during closing one day, she’d screamed after mistaking one of the t-shirt manakins for an intruder. She’d shot up another meter in height before she was able to get it under control.

Dani nodded in reverence to the manakin in question as she passed it.

When she got to the back, she jabbed in the key-code she shouldn’t know and used her shoulder to open the glass doors to the offices. The rangers’ office was at the end of the hall. The door was open, spilling yellow-gold light into the hungry dark. From where she stood, it looked like the gentle glow of a fireplace and it beckoned to her.

Despite Lilah knowing she was coming, and knowing her ETA, and there being no one else in the building, Dani made a point to make herself known as she walked down the hallway and knocked on the door to the rangers’ office, peaking her head in to spy her girlfriend.

Lilah, who’d been feverishly typing at her desk, looked up and immediately grinned, whatever stress that had her brows planted was gone. Dani’s chest glowed at the sight.

“I thought I said in the delivery notes you could just leave the order at the door?” Lilah said, standing and making her way towards Dani, who’d dropped everything in her hands on the nearest available surface (a small round table near to the centre of the room) and was shirking her coat, enjoying the blessed heat.

“Well, we like to go above and beyond for our most loyal custo-” She said, but before she could continue, she felt Lilah’s hands slip around her waist from behind and turn her around. The taller girl’s lips found hers and any other joke was forgotten.

Lilah pulled back, her arms still firmly wrapped around Dani. She was dressed in her usual work clothes, all shades of greens, browns and kakis. Her long hair was braided back away from her face, and Dani could feel where the keycard at her hip dug into her stomach.

“Your skin is so cold!”

“I know!” Dani said. “I was only out there for a second and still I feel like I need to defrost.”

“Let me help.”

She laughed as Lilah enveloped her. Her girlfriend rested her head on Dani’s shoulder and Dani rolled her eyes, smiling as she ran her nails up and down Lilah’s back.

“Long day, love?” She asked.

“A million years, if you’d believe it.” Lilah replied, her voice muffled by Dani’s shoulder.

“I do. I’ve brought Thai.”

Lilah hummed, it was a sweet, low sound that unravelled Dani from the centre. “You always know how to make it better.”

“It’s my job. Now, get off me so I can reheat it.”

Lilah whined as Dani shrugged her off. She grabbed the Thai and took it over to the small kitchenette. It was a skeleton kitchen (the more elaborate being in the shared cafeteria) but the rangers were content with a kettle, fridge, and microwave, seeing the rest as an unnecessary expense. It made Dani think of the barista her firm hired to make their coffees, the elaborate “back-up” espresso machine they had for when the barista had gone home for the day, the instant hot and hold taps, the snacks left out in the kitchen. Looking at the kettle that needed a pep talk in order to work and the microwave that looked like a vintage prop in what was otherwise a newly-renovated facility, she smiled.

Lilah said her boss James had insisted they didn’t waste money on “any new-fangled fancy appliances” during the renovation when their old stuff “worked just fine”. She’d been surprised to find most of the rangers agreed with him.

“We don’t spend a lot of time in the office. We pop in and out throughout the day. If we can make tea and reheat our lunch, that’s really all we need.”

She put the Thai in the microwave and turned around, resting back against the bench top. Lilah had wondered back to her desk and was bent over her laptop, frowning again.

“So,” she said, shaking Lilah’s focus. “What made your day so bad? Was it the intern?”

Lilah started some meandering protest but Dani cut her off. She’d heard this before. They’d recently hired an intern who was more useless than pulling a name badge on one of the trees outside and putting it on the payroll. At least the tree would add some value.

Lilah, with a level of patience Dani would never mirror, routinely took time out of her schedule to help him, telling Dani she wished she’d had a superior look out for her when she’d first started.

Dani, whose first boss had thrown her in the deep end and told her to learn to swim or drown, thought there was a difference between mentoring and hand-holding, but had given up pushing the point. Lately, Lilah’s tack had changed and Dani’s seen her become more and more agitated at and about work.

She’d realised, long after everyone else on her team except their boss, that their intern TJ was not stupid or naive, he just didn’t care. And that, to Lilah, was the true cardinal sin.

“Ugh,” Lilah groaned, leaning in her chair and lolling her eyes back. “He’s useless! I can’t stand him. And no matter how much we raise it with James, he doesn’t do anything. According to him, TJ’s only here on student placement so we should just see out the semester. But I don’t know if any of us can last that long.”

The microwave pinged behind Dani and she started unloading it.

“You should just shift and scare the shit out of him. Or better yet, leave him at the top of a tree and let him find his own way down.”

Behind her, Lilah laughed.

“Tempting. But I’m not that mean.”

“You could be, that’s my point.” Dani said. “I feel like you’re not using your abilities to their full potential. The way I’d abuse that power to get my way -“

“You say that,” Lilah said. “But you’re such a bleeding heart, love, you wouldn’t know how.”

“For TJ, I’d find a way.”

She took the Thai, now pleasantly steaming, over to the round table. It was intended to be a lunch table though most of the rangers preferred to eat outside (except for the truly terrible weather like today). Most of the time it was empty, and the chairs around it were decorative.

“Now, come eat.”

---

Lilah looked up at her girlfriend from her desk. They’d eaten and caught up about their respective days, talking at length about nothing in particular in the way they often did. Just Dani’s presence had a way of calming her heart, refocusing her. She’d spent a long day gritting her teeth, her body near-constantly on the brink of a shift. Everything TJ did and said seemed to drive her closer and closer to explosion. At one point, she’d had to exit the building and shadow herself in the trees in a desperate attempt to stave off a rapid shift.

By the end of the day her body was exhausted and her mind drained. The moment TJ left for the day was only second best to Dani’s arrival.

She walked through the door and suddenly, the stresses of her day were no longer these huge herculean beasts, they could be picked up and tucked away in their proper place and left alone. She wondered if Dani knew the implicit effect she had, or if she walked about the world oblivious to the fact she made it that much easier to live in.

After dinner, she’d apologised. There were a few tasks that needed doing before she logged off. Dani didn’t mind. She’d wandered back to the car and grabbed a book to read. It was a rare sight and she was surprised to see she hadn’t used the opportunity as a chance to continue with her own work. That was until she admitted to Lilah that her laptop was on the fritz and she’d had leave it with IT overnight.

So instead of working, Dani was curled up on a chair in the corner, quietly reading, letting the time pass by unbothered. She could have been at home, showered, in bed, prepped for an early start in the morning. Instead she was here, keeping her company.

“Ok,” Lilah said, almost regretful to break the peace. Dani looked up from the page but otherwise didn’t move. “I just need to check one thing and then we can head.”

“Whenever you’re ready, love.” Dani said and returned to reading.

Lilah nodded.

She’d told TJ a week ago that there was an 8th birthday party happening tomorrow and he needed to prep for it - arrange the itinerary, flag with the high-ropes course staff, allocate a ranger to lead the “wilderness adventure”, organise the goodie bags, ensure waivers were signed before the day, clean and decorate the events room, etc. The usual motions for when they hosted children’s birthdays. In an ideal world, that wouldn’t be the job of the rangers to organise but apparently all the funding had gone to the building upgrade rather than hiring any other staff.

She’d reminded him the yesterday and he’d waved her off (almost causing another shift). She just needed to check that everything was good to go.

She looked on the ranger allocations tomorrow and found they were all fully allocated for the day (including herself) but there was no one on the birthday. Her heart stopped and then picked up again in double-time. She closed the spreadsheet and looked at the high-ropes bookings - fully booked, no birthday group. She closed her eyes and forced a shaky breath in and out of her lungs, she could feel her body heating up.

“Shit.” She muttered. She thought it was quiet but it was loud enough that Dani frowned and looked up again.

“Everything ok?”

“No.” Lilah said, she stood up from her desk, blood pumping loudly. The signs were creeping up on her but she was took angry and stressed to notice. “I have to check something.”

She stormed out of the office without another word, barged through the welcome centre with a fury and entered the public cafe. On the other side of the cafe was a door leading to their private functions room. It was a beautiful space, with walls of floor-to-ceiling windows looking out on the trees. For children’s birthdays, should be brightly decorated with goodie bags ready and waiting for the kids. There should be the “Ranger for a Day” badge awaiting the birthday girl alongside an adventure passport for each of the kids.

It had better all be there.

She slammed her hand down on the door handle and opened the function room to find it a blank and empty canvas - not even a single chair had been pulled from storage. Outside the stormy weather picked up ferocity and the trees were raging in the wild winds. But all Lilah could see was her own reflection staring back at her, deadly. The blood was pounding in her ears and her skin pricked. He hadn’t done it. Any of it. She told him, time and time again and he hadn’t done it. She’d been patient. She’d explained the process. This was the only task she was actually willing to give him on and he still hadn’t done it.

She took a few steps into the room. It was big enough for small functions, big enough that the thud of her books echoed on the floor and bounced off the walls. By the time her slow walk had taken her to the centre of the room, her clenched fists had left deep crescent moons where her nails dug into the skin. Her jaw was tight, despite the cold in the unheated room, she sweated beneath her uniform. She could feel her body begging for release and it was all she could do not to let it.

“Nice room.” Came Dani’s voice from the doorway. “I don’t think I’ve been in here before. Oh wait, yes I have, right? For the Christmas party. It looks so different empty.”

Lilah didn’t look at her, she could only stare forwards as her anger compounded. But she could hear Dani make her way into the room and walk towards the window. From her periphery she was aware of Dani spying out the drop below.

In order to attract more bookings, the events room overhung a small depression in the landscape. The room was suspended about 15 or so metres over the drop counter-levered by the rest of the building on the ground. The effect was that anyone in the room would feel as though they were truly immersed in the wild.

“It shouldn’t be empty.” Lilah managed, jaw tight.

“What?”

“It shouldn’t be empty.” She repeated, this time louder, with more force. Her fingers tingled. “I told TJ. I told him so many times. We have a birthday tomorrow and each time - EACH. TIME. - he blows me off, like ‘it’s fine, Delilah, I know’. But guess what? He’s done shit all. They’re coming at 9am tomorrow and the room’s not ready, none of the rangers have been told and we’re all at capacity, the high ropes is fully booked and won’t be able to take a group of 20 kids at the last minute - obviously!” Her face was getting hot. “And I just know he hasn’t had any of the waivers signed by the parents. And now I have to stay back even later to fix it! What a fuc-“

She grew. Only a metre or so but it was enough to shock her out of her rant. Her heart trembled as her blood got hotter and hotter. Despite herself, there was a cruel relief in the sensation.

She looked at Dani whose eyes were wide. Obviously, she’d noticed too. It’s hard to miss when your girlfriend is suddenly double your height. Lilah’s head now only just missed the ceiling.

This was all still new for both of them. Lilah was unused to being seen in a shift, to looming so far above anyone - let alone Dani. For Dani’s part, she was determined to prove the sudden shifts - Lilah’s unexplained and unexpected growth of anywhere between a few inches to a few metres - didn’t bother her. But Lilah knew. She knew Dani. Already she was on high alert.

Her girlfriend was taking small steps towards her, hands out in either a placating or defensive gesture (maybe both).

“Li,” She said, caution flooding her tone. “I know this is stressful, and really frustrating. But this isn’t your fault. You don’t have to fix it. Let TJ deal with the consequences of his mistakes.”

Lilah put her head in her hands. She hated this part - the pounding in her head. She needed to get it under control, but she was struggling to focus. Whenever she attempted to calm herself down, the image of TJ’s smug indifference and the eventual conversation she’d have to have with parents in the morning would set her body alight again.

“But why should a child on their birthday have to deal with the consequences of his mistakes? How is that fair?”

Her head hit the ceiling and instinctively she dropped to her knees.

She felt a tiny hand on her thigh. She opened her eyes and there was Dani, already so small, looking up at her. While she was doing her best to keep them level, her girlfriend’s eye betrayed her.

“Li,” She said again. “It’s not fair, but that’s how we learn. That’s how he has to learn. Let’s just calm down and -“

“No,” Lilah interrupted, more forceful than she meant and Dani took a step back. Lilah swallowed. “Wait, sorry, Dani, I meant-“

Before she could finished, her body took over and she started to grow again. Except this time wasn’t a small burst. This time she just kept growing, watching in horror as the space around her grew tighter and tighter. She had enough control as to fold in onto herself to stop her from crashing through the roof, but if she couldn’t stop it, there was not much she could do to prevent that from happening. Plus, what would Dani -

Behind her pounding headache, her thoughts stilled.

Dani.

It was all Dani could do to scramble away in time, her back pressed into the glass corner where two of the windowed walls met. Lilah lifted her head as much as she dared to check she was ok. Her chest was moving rapidly and occasionally, Dani’s glance shifted to the drop outside but Lilah watched in relief to see she was unharmed.

But there was no guarantee that would last.

“Dani, are you ok?”

Before her girlfriend could reply, Lilah’s head swum and she doubled back down, pressing her forehead into the floorboards of the events room. She could feel the walls pressing in as her body hungrily devoured any available space.

“I’m fine!” Dani said in delayed answer, though her voice was strained.

Lilah turned her head (now unable to lift it) and saw her hand was now pressing against Dani’s body, sandwiching her against the glass.

She needs to get out of here.

They were suspended over a drop in a room that was not designed to carry this kind of load. Of course, at this size, the drop would mean nothing to Lilah, but for Dani…

And then what if the room could hold the weight? She might crush her girlfriend if she couldn’t get it together.

“Babe, you need to leave.” She managed. “You need to get out, I can’t stop.”

This was as large as she’d ever shifted in the human world. Usually a bad shift would see her double in height, sometimes triple. But now, she was almost half her natural height and didn’t look to stop.

“Ummm, ok.” Dani swallowed. “Well, love, that might be an issue. You’re blocking the exit.”

The realisation calcified her stomach. Of course Dani was right, if she focussed on it, she could feel the doorway pressed against her other shoulder.

“No-no-no,” Lilah began to mutter, feeling her breath go shallow.

“It’s ok!” Dani called up, though it was obvious to both of them she was lying. “We’re both fine. I’m sure I could find a way to squeeze thr-“

Despite the constantly creaking and groaning of the forest outside, they both heard the new sound. It was the terrible complaint of the building below them. In the stilled silence of the moment before, the two shared one knowing glance. Dani, pale and still, looked so small against the writhing dark behind her.

The building creaked again, this time louder. Closer.

When the floor shifted beneath them, Lilah reached out.

As the private function room collapsed over the gap, Lilah continued to grow to her full size, while in her fist, Dani seemed to shrink smaller and smaller. Naturally, Lilah brought her hand to her chest and curled herself into the foetal position protectively around her cargo. It was all over in a few seconds when Lilah felt her side land roughly on the earth below. Thankfully, the drop was clear of any mature trees that would have done significant harm. Other than the awkward ache of a fall, she was fine. Thankfully, she couldn’t feel any glass in her skin, the full-coverage of her uniform offering her blessed protection.

Now outside, the wind whipped at her like a pack of frenzied animals descending on a fresh kill. The trees, dark and much smaller now, were bending their canopies this way and that, bullied by the fierceness of a clear winter night.

The cold, biting and hungry, was almost a relief against her burning hot skin and her lungs happily welcomed the air as relief. There was truly no feeling quite like returning to her natural height. She’d tried to explain it to Dani before. Even though she never felt constricted when she’d shift to human size, returning to normal height felt like stretching after a long day bent over hard labour.

Still holding her fist to her chest, she used the other to prop herself into a seated position. Doing her best to shelter Dani from the onslaught of wind, Lilah opened her hand. There was Dani, her suit crumpled, her hair a messy. There was an immediacy to her stare as she re-oriented herself with the world. When she looked at Lilah, her expression was unreadable.

“Are you ok?” They said in unison.

Lilah waited for Dani, who very quickly waved her off.

“I’m fine.” She said. “I just fell out of a collapsing building and, if not for your quick reflexes, would have died, but I’m fine. Are you ok?”

Lilah looked back at the welcome centre, at the gaping hole where the function room used to be. It was now about level with her head. Around and beneath her, the remnants of it were scattered - bits of glass, concrete, wood and other infrastructure lay broken and useless. Off in some of the nearby trees were other pieces of it carried off in the wind.

It was then that the horror sank in, and her eyes boiled over. She couldn’t help the rapid, frantic sobs that escaped her chest.

---

“Hey! Hey, love.” Dani tried by she was fighting a losing battle against her girlfriend, the wind, and her own panic wanting to tamp her voice dow. The shaking of Lilah’s fist was making her disoriented. “It’s ok! You’re ok. I’m ok. Ok?”

But the wind stole the words away. Her hair whipped around her face in wild tendrils. Lilah’s fingers curled around her, making her heart race.

“Oh my god, I’ve destroyed it.” Came Lilah’s pained voice, ignoring or not hearing Dani. “What if someone was here? What if I couldn’t reach you in time? What if…”

She descended into another fit of sobs, but this time Dani’s stomach lurched as she was pulled suddenly flush against Lilah’s rapidly moving chest. In the moment, Dani’s mind first went to the image of a small teddy bear being cradled by a child for comfort. As much as the idea softened her heart, the combination of the movement, being suspended in the air and Lilah’s haggard breathing covering her from above had her feeling nauseous.

Plus, she knew they still had to deal with it.

Lilah’s thumb stroked the back of her hair, though it was neither as soft nor as considered as her girlfriend’s usual touch. They were still getting used to each other at different scales and these were the situations where the newness really showed.

Dani grit her teeth and endured it, promising herself she’d raise it when cooler minds prevailed.

Right now, needed to stop this before it got worse.

She pressed on Lilah’s tightening hold around her centre forcefully and it was enough to get Lilah’s attention.

“Dani?” She asked, though she seemed to already know to let up as Dani felt the vice loosen just slightly.

Dani had to do everything to top her teeth chattering in the cold.

“I’m fine!” Dani repeated, with a more level voice than before. She still felt the same level of panic but was better prepared this time. “I’m ok!”

Lilah studied her with a terrible scrutiny, but when she was satisfied, she looked at the space where the private function room used to be.

“But-“

“It’s a building.” Dani stopped her before she could spiral. “It’s just a building. Actually, it’s part of a building. And you know it’s insured to high heaven.”

“But-“

The giant fingers twitched around her making Dani’s heart rate soar.

“Lilah, look at me.” She almost had to yell to get her giant partner’s attention.

She had to crane her neck to meet Lilah’s stare. Her girlfriends eyes were raw and her cheeks smeared with long wet trails. Dani hated that she couldn’t hold Li close and tell her it’d be ok. She couldn’t let her girlfriend collapse into her arms, she couldn’t run her fingers down her back. She was too powerless to cup her face and make it all go away. She couldn’t fight off the feelings, but she could fix them.

“Here’s the plan.” She said. The words alone had a soothing effect on her own heart. They let her brain settle and work through each thought. “Are there cameras?”

“Not on this side of the building. They didn’t think it mattered - the only thing this side is the drop.”

“Ok, good. We need a cover. We’ll keep it as close to true as possible. You were working late. TJ forgot to do the one thing you asked him to do and so you were preparing to (as always) pick up his slack. The room collapsed, and…”

At this point, Dani wasn’t even talking to Lilah, she was just piecing a story together and Lilah happened to be there.

“And people are going to believe I survived that unscathed?”

Dani shook her head. She chewed her cracked lips.

“No, of course not” she hummed. “Maybe you were in the room and you looked up just in time to see  one of the trees falling towards the building, uprooted by the wind. You escaped just in time.”

“But there’s no tree here?”

Dani looked at Lilah. “There are plenty of trees here, Li. If you could push one over onto the centre that, plus the wind, would be enough of a cover-up.”

Lilah pulled back, her face guarded.

“Dani, some of these trees are over 100 years old. I’m a ranger, I’m not going to kill one just to cover my tracks.”

“But-“

Lilah’s eyes flashed. “No."

Dani bit down on her tongue. There was no use pushing this. She knew it would be a hard line for her girlfriend. Dani didn’t love the idea of pulling up a tree for no reason, she knew how much Lilah cared about nature, but there was a reason - hiding the secret of giants from all of mankind seemed like a good one, even if it was environmentally questionable.

But this wasn’t the time to push Lilah or upset her more than she already was. She needed to pivot.

“Fine.” She took a long breath and shrugged. “Then we rely on uncertainty and bad weather and we call it an unfortunate Act of God.”

Lilah frowned. “And that would be enough?”

Dani pursed her lips, “The tree thing would be better but,” She added as Lilah’s fist inadvertently tightened around her. “You’d be surprised how often these kinds of things happen. When emergency response get here, you’re going to tell them you felt the room giving way under you and you sprinted for the door just in time. You’re lucky you were able to react. Actually, we may even be able to claim worker’s compensation -“

“Dani.”

“Fine, goodie two shoes. I’m going to say I found you in shock. You’re going to admit you have no idea what caused it - you suspect the bad weather over the last few days. You’re going to say you were looking forward to the clear forecast tomorrow and you’re going to make a throwaway comment about how nature is wild and unforgiving. The police and insurers will realise there is no obvious or provable blame and National Parks shouldn’t have an issue making the claim. It should be enough. But!” She looked Lilah right in the eye, nearly daring her girlfriend to look away. “Before any of that, you need to shift back.”

---

It took nearly 30 minutes of gentle coaxing and breathing for Lilah to shift back, which was faster than usual but not great from a timeline point of view. But Dani needn’t have worried. As far as emergency response was concerned, a ranger and her partner almost died in a wild weather incident. There wasn’t any discussion of blame, and if there was, what would they say? At least as far as the two of them were involved. The insurance company would want to speak to Lilah, but Dani would prepare her for that, she’d teach her the right things to say, how to act. When to joke and when not to. She’d make sure they’d have no reason but to pay out the claim to rebuild and with that, Lilah’s guilt would vanish. Dani would fix it.

From where she was sitting, ambulance blanket over her shoulders, she caught Lilah’s eye as her girlfriend was being interviewed by the police. Lilah nodded and smiled.

Dani let out a long breath.

One day.

One day she’d be able to control it.

One day they’d be better prepared.

-

(inspiration can strike anywhere. In this instance, it was useless people at work. - ray xx)

[whumpypepsigal]

Happy Whumpmas (•∇•。) 🎅🎄🎁🦌 🍪 🥛!!! You have just been snowballed by a secret whumper. Help to keep the snowball fight going by anonymously sending this to five other whumpers with a whump-related question of your choice: if you could uncancel one cancelled whumpy show which one would it be and why?

thank you for this great question 😭. there so many shows i would bring back but if i had to choose theee one

oh most definitely PRODIGAL SON! the show started off with whump in its pilot episode *chef’s kiss*. malcolm bright was the epitome of whump. the man had a murderous father who had a horrendous impact on young malcolm, suffered from fractured mental health, ravaged with painful trauma/memories, hand tremors, putting himself recklessly in danger almost each and every episode, the physical whump in every episode, the constant “im fine” when he is not at all, on the verge of nervous breakdown every single time, permanent night terrors… need i say more!?

and the audacity of them canceling the show with that cliffhanger… when malcolm just killed his dad and might’ve been on the run (?), the potential whump from that? yeah fuck fox for doing us dirty like that! i will NEVER forgive them.

I MISS MALCOLM AND DANI SO DAMN MUCH *CRIES IN AGONY*