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#december is going to be heavy
stargazing15 · 2 years
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They make me feel invisible
But that's not all what they want
They want me to feel like a dead weight
They use me whenever they want
But the other way around they shut the door
You hear the whispers and feel gazes
It makes you feel lonely
But they need you
So let's stay invisible and come out of my shell when required
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detentiontrack · 2 years
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Actually I am grateful that the show never really addressed Anne or Sasha's trauma in s3a because then we wouldn't have gotten the fucked up fics that resulted from various author's interpretations
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doomednarrative · 10 months
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Y'know I won't lie. I have actually felt a good bit lighter and not so much like hell since getting to see my family again
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painterofhorizons · 10 months
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Ah, yes. It's time again to Google how to deal with the upcoming holidays with dysfunctional families. Just mentioning it today made me sick in the stomach - time to brace myself to survive the next six weeks...
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ereborne · 5 months
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Song of the Day: April 15
"Something in the Way She Moves" by James Taylor
#song of the day#it's been two weeks + two days since the last song of the day#the issue is you see that I started the songs up again in December because my insomnia was fucking up my perception of time#and I wanted some kind of regular marker to help me keep track#and then what happened two weeks + two days ago is that I lost all track of time and subsequently the songs of the day failed#I'm gonna see if I can keep up again for a bit now that I've re-restarted without an alarm on my phone#but if I miss any this week I'll just give in and turn the alarm back on#updates from the last two weeks are going to sound so chaotic let's see#I got a new project at work /and/ I got demoted /and/ I got added to a higher access level /and/ I'm in charge of a new database#yes all of those things together. I'm to be an accountant now! not instead but in addition to my other stuff. should be interesting#I didn't get April Fools off like I was scheduled to because all my scheduled vacation got unapproved#(I was here for about twenty nonsequential minutes to boop people and I'm glad I made time for it. extremely fun to boop)#I lied shamelessly to get eclipse day off and we went on a full-day roadtrip and it was wonderful. everything I dreamed and more#I killed one of my baby succulents through clumsiness and rabbits ate my pea plants but my sage and cabbages look promising#got a massive pot of mint flourishing on my porch and the horseradish is gorgeous#got Duncan lights and plants and a filter system for his frog tank but we haven't set up the substrate yet#so there's just potted plants sitting inside a terrarium. very amusing honestly#I've been playing a little Stardew and eating a /lot/ of hot sauce and tofu#drinking tons of klass aguas frescas--especially the soursop one. holy shit is it good. the mango and hibiscus also#and these past few days I've been sleeping better#for most of those two weeks I was getting a handful of twenty-minute naps each workday and then crashing unwillingly on the weekend#I haven't read any comic books since February :'( this weekend we're going to costco and then I'm reading comics until Monday#what have y'all been up to? I've missed being around#edit: oh shit the actual song part. anyway this is James Taylor! makes me happy and helps me settle. good vibes songs#I'm half-panicked about work all the time recently and then also today was tax day (Nick's taxes. blegh)#James Taylor doing some heavy lifting round here
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fingertipsmp3 · 6 months
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Should I get up at 6 in the morning to go for a run or is that an insane decision that I will hate myself for
#the background is i’ve been running on and off since december but i’m finally getting pretty good at it i think#(the secret is doing lots of other stuff like hula hooping and exercise bike and pilates to gain aerobic ability and strength)#and i feel like i want to try running outside#up to now i’ve been using a slow treadmill with a top speed that’s a pretty decent jogging pace for me#but i definitely want to be able to go faster and i also need to be able to change up my strides#ya girl is 6’1 my strides are definitely longer than this treadmill is#however. i’m very aware that i look goofy as fuck when i run. i’m clumsy and top heavy and i have a bad case of rbf#NONE OF THIS MATTERS. but i still would rather run at a time when there’s not that many people around#so i was thinking why not 6am. but then i was like. ellen are you actually out of your fucking mind#right now i usually run in the late afternoon because it makes me hungry and that motivates me to start prepping dinner#so switching up the timing is already going to mess me up. literally switching from evening to morning pilates made me feel like the world#was ending. it’s bad#if i want to run outside i am going to have to change what time i do it regardless because the streets are full of school run people#and dog walkers at my usual time. i see them walking past my house#so it’s like why not do it at 6am#or. i Could try like 10pm. i do live in a small town; it’s pretty safe#what i could do is wear a hat with a light on it. men hate those. and carry a metal water bottle#i am like 80% sure i could incapacitate someone with a hydroflask i’m ngl. not that i’ll probably need to. but a girl’s gotta be prepared#personal
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border-collie · 6 months
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My period is over a week late now and it would be an actual, biblical miracle for me to be pregnant. I was TRYING to find out when I need to actually bring this up to medical attention and most sources are like "period late, take pregnancy test!"
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quaranmine · 2 years
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i need to pick up backpacking as a hobby <- is watching adventurearchives on youtube again
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devotioncrater · 1 year
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so. i guess i have to go to urgent care tomorrow. & show the doctor my lab results. & try to get in for a cancer screening that way
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ricoka · 7 months
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I don't exactly know when I started sketching and drawing in various sketchbooks at the same time but it's the most dissatisfying habit I've gotten into
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historyherstory · 10 months
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In today's edition of HHR coded things, I present to you "Beside You" lyrics (Marianas Trench)
When your tears are spent on your last pretense And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath When the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless When you try to speak but you make no sound And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud If your heart wears thin I will hold you up And I will hide you when it gets too much I'll be right beside you I'll be right beside you I will stay Nobody will break you, yeah
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magz · 8 months
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[ Original Twitter Thread by @/beelektra ] - Not by Magz, am not Palestinian
Palestinian Foods. (long post)
Quote:
"🧵 Thread of Palestinian desserts I've grown up around and seen A thing I'd like to add is that I just like to share my culture! I do not want to spread the narrative that our culture is dying, I only want people to see our foods and traditions 🇵🇸
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"As mentioned in the last post, we have knafeh (or kunafa), a buttery dessert made with shredded pastry layers such as cheese and other ingredients like pistacho or cream!"
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"Burbara; which comes from Saint Barbara, fun fact! It's a soup dessert that mainly consists of barley, licorice spices, anise, cinnamon, and fennel powder This is a dessert usually many Christian families have to celebrate Saint Barbara, which is December 4th!"
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"Malban, which resembles a fruit jelly! Made from starch and sugar Specifically, it's made with grape molasses, thickened with starch and flavored with rose water, and stuffed with almonds (or other nuts including walnuts, treenuts, and peanuts)"
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"Khabeesa is simply just a pudding made with grapes, but you prepare it by mixing the grape juice with semolina and nuts + seeds."
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"Mtabbak or mtabba, a crispy dough stuffed with crushed walnuts. It also contains cinnamon, sugar, and syrup. Photo credits go to Bartek Kieżun on Instagram"
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"Tamriyeh, a fried pastry filled with semolina pudding, scenter with mastic and orange blossom water, and topped off with powdered sugar"
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"Ka'ak bi Tamer, which are date paste filled cookies with cinnamon! A dessert made for Eid-Alfitr. It's topped with nigella seeds, and the cinnamon-spiced date paste is the most important part of it all– you can eat it on its own or have it with coffee"
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"+ Ka'ak Asawer, another dessert that can be prepared for Eid-Alfitr. It's translated to bracelet cookies, and they use date paste, flour, anise seeds, sugar, ground cinnamon, and olive oil"
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"Muhallebi or mahalabia, a milk pudding that's made with sugar, corn starch, and fragrant flavorings! It's topped off with nuts, pistachos, and almonds and sprinkled with ground cinnamon or shredded coconut"
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"Rice pudding, which is a common dessert in Palestine, and it's your choice to top it off with nuts or not"
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"Stuffed dates, using medjool dates and cracking them open to be stuffed with goat cheese and pistachios– but you're free to add anything else"
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"Ma'amoul, a buttery crisp cookie primarily made of farina and can be stuffed with (spiced) dates, walnuts, or pistachios. This is another Christian dessert made by Palestinian mothers during the week of Easter Sunday."
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"Halawit Smid, a farina based dessert with added sugar and unsalted cheese. It's preferably served fresh"
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"Namoura cake, aka harissa dessert! It's made with semolina or farina flour, and then topped off with syrup once baked"
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"Qatayef, which is eaten during the month of Ramadan. It's made of farina, flour, water, and yeast blended together– the process is pretty similiar to making pancakes, but only one side is cooked"
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"Since I've mentioned using zaatar for a lot of things, I recently just discovered this but– there's also things such as zaatar cookies!! It's just as implied that the cookies are filled with zaatar, I'd be so willing to make this on my own"
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"Baklava, made from phyllo pastry dough, butter, nuts, basil, and a sweet honey syrup"
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"Aish el saraya, arabic version of a bread pudding. It's basically a layered bread, where it starts from the bottom, then covered with a sweet syrup, cream, and crumbled pistachios."
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"Awwami, it's defined as "crisp donut ball" in English. It's a deep fried dough ball coated with sesame seeds, and dipped in cold syrup water."
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"Halawet el Jibn, a sweet cheese dessert rolled with custard, heavy cream, drizzled rose water + syrup, and garnished with nuts."
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"Lastly, I'd like to add watermelon and cheese– for me, it's like,,,, bittersweet!!! You should totally try it and we also have this during Ramadan"
"Well, that's all I can think of for Palestinian desserts! Here's the first part for general foods, I know I did make a promise for part two
I hope you guys liked this thread, and if you have any opinions please feel free to quote tweet anything on here if I made a mistake, feel free to correct me, it's always appreciated P.S if you're a zionist commenting here I really don't care, just scroll, I'm sharing my culture
One LAST thing. if you want any of the recipes from here, check out this website, the creator (Wafa) shares so many wonderful traditional Palestinian dishes."
[End Quote]
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crunchycrystals · 1 year
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kinda came to terms how bad my mental health has been for the past year and been in a bit of a depressive episode for the past like month?????? so uhhhhhh sucks for me lol
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gentlethorns · 1 year
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gotta get back into like spirituality. i lost touch w it bc like life happens and i got busy and distracted but one of my friends who's very gifted gave me a tarot reading yesterday and it made me remember that like. i have that power too. i just have to build it back up like a muscle
#she bork#tbd#ngl the reading made me very anxious lol but just bc it was something i needed to hear and it basically just warned me to use caution and#discretion w money which is something that has been very very heavy on my mind lately anyway. it also told me to stop being passive and#letting uncertainty paralyze me which has also been on my mind a lot bc in december i have to move out of the house i've been in for like#four years and my bf and i both don't know what we're gonna do yet (bc like there's some stuff going on w his family that makes moving in w#his mom and paying her rent for her benefit a big contender for a next step but like idk about living w parental figure bc i'm a whole ass#adult. so he might move in w her alone but then i'd have to live alone somewhere and that would kill me i think lol) and also idk what to do#job-wise bc i want to stay at this job for at least like two years just for the experience and so i can demonstrate that like i camp out at#jobs and don't just job-hop but also it's hurting my body and it's very stressful and like i enjoy it most of the time but the bad times#feel really bad. and also i'm tired of going in at like 3 in the morning it feels like i have no life bc even if i'm off the following day#i'm too tired to stay up and do anything that night bc i woke up that morning at like 2:30. so i'm like debating looking for something more#in line w what i want to do and like how i want to live like i'd love to work from home and have energy to exercise and be healthy mentally#and physically and honestly idk if i have that rn. idk just there's lots of stuff on the horizon that's making me very anxious and i have a#tendency to freeze when i get scared and in the pst things have just tended to fall together for me but that won't work this time. this time#i have to do it myself.#so anyway i need to get back in touch w my spiritual side and open myself up to the possibilities. rn i think i just feel stuck and afraid#but if i can take the bull by the horns and actively try to improve my life then it's no big deal
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adragonprinceswhore · 2 months
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Teaching the Unteachable
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Aegon Targaryen x Wife
Summary: When all else fails, Aegon's wife employs drastic measures to teach the unteachable.
Warnings: 18+, banter, (slight) dom/sub, temperature play, wax play, dry humping, dirty talk, Aegon being horny and in love
A/N: So, apparently this smutty drabble I wrote in December turned out to be canon? Anyway, have some more 'Aegon being bad at High Valyrian', but with a fun, sexy twist ✨
Word Count: 1200
. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ . 
“No, you need to roll your R’s. Like this: zaldrīzes” 
Aegon rolls his eyes before mockingly impersonating you, “zaldrīzes”. 
“No no, place the tip of your tongue by the roof of your mouth”, you explain, demonstratively opening your mouth to show your husband how he should place his tongue to achieve the sound he hadn’t yet mastered. 
Aegon’s eyes light up in mischief as he regards you. “I’m afraid I do not quite understand, my love. Perhaps if you place your tongue in my mouth, you can demonstrate it for me?” 
Now it is your turn to give him an unimpressed look. 
“If you want the realm to view you as a true Targaryen, you need to know how to speak like one”, you chide him, eyes sternly locking with his. 
“I do not give a shit about how the realm views me”, Aegon replies, tone sincere yet playful, “All that is of matter to me is how tempting my wife appears when she speaks of proper tongue placement”. 
You’re sitting next to each other by the table placed a few paces from the hearth burning in your shared chambers, Aegon’s hand continuously playing with your fingers. 
“You come to me sulking over the fact that your High Valyrian is no better than it was back when we were mere babes”, you sigh, “begging me to teach you”
Aegon hums as he bends your ring finger in his palm.
“Yet you do not listen to a word I say”, you scold him, pulling your hand away from his grip. 
“My love, I have come to a regretful realisation”, he replies with feigned gravity weighing heavy in his voice, “I’m afraid I’ll need another tutor” 
You answer his declaration by raising an impassive brow. A grin breaks out on his face. 
“One that doesn’t make my cock hard as soon as she opens her mouth”. 
Your eyes go wide at his crude remark, hand coming up to lightly smack him on the chest for his lewdness. 
“Aegon-“
He winks before moving closer to you, restless hands coming up to squeeze your thighs over your skirts, “Call me husband”
It is hard to stay mad at him in playful times like these, when he uses every charismatic trick he knows. Yet you have to remain strong, if only on the outside. 
“Why should I waste my days teaching the unteachable?”
“I am your husband. Your valzȳrys”, Aegon triumphs, hands moving up to pinch the flesh of your hips over the satin fabric you’re donning.  
One of the candles adorning the wooden table by you draws its last breath, hot wax running down its side. Your finger comes up to collect some, a pleasant chill running through your body at the sudden sting of warmth. 
“You can’t even say that right”, you tell him, a petty ridicule you know he won’t take to heart. Your eyes stay fixed on the wax slowly hardening on your fingertip. 
“Then teach me” 
His hands grab onto your sides tighter, pulling you off your chair and towards him. Instead of giving in too quickly, you resist his demand momentarily, feet steady on the floor to hinder him from pulling you onto his lap.
“Valzȳrys, I think you’re in due need of a punishment. For being such a disobedient pupil, and for talking about your tutor in such lewd ways”, you say, voice serious but eyes shining with mischief. 
Aegon looks up to meet your gaze, the grin on his face growing wider as he nods. 
You climb onto his lap, straddling him. Your noses almost knock together from the close proximity. He brings his hands to rest around your waist, but you grab them both and gently place them on the armrests of the chair. 
“No touching”, you instruct and he nods obediently. 
You’re sure you can sense the rigid proof of growing arousal where your centres meet, and your strict demeanour almost falters at the realisation. You haven’t even begun, yet your husband is desperate for you. 
You fight off a victorious smile as you pick up one candle, flame still burning, and look into Aegon's lilac eyes. The hand not holding the candle moves to untie the strings at the top of the undershirt he’s wearing. 
“If you fail to properly recite the words I ask you to say”, you start, the grin you’d tried to fight off causing the corners of your mouth to twitch upwards, “I get to pour wax on your chest”
Your husband’s eyes light up in intrigue, “And if I say the words correctly?”
“You’ll be awarded the satisfaction of knowing you are coherent in your native tongue”, you respond sternly. Aegon watches you expectantly. 
“Wife”, you begin your unwonted examination, swirling the lit candle between your fingers.
“Ābrazyrys”, Aegon confidently replies, raising his face in pride. 
You tilt the candle to the side, allowing the hot wax to pour down onto his slightly exposed chest. He gasps in surprise and you tut at his reaction.
“Atrocious pronunciation”, you chastise your husband, eyes shining with amusement. He inhales deeply, hands gripping the sides of the chair tightly. 
“Again”, you demand. 
“Ābrazyrys”, he breathes out, a whimper escaping his lips as you pour more wax on his chest. You are now certain that the hardness against your centre is evidence of how much he’s enjoying your teaching method, so you languidly roll your hips against his.
“Ābrazyrys”, you correct him as he grunts at the feeling of your core pressing against his. The wax on his chest had congealed, resembling pearls resting on his flustered skin. 
The alluring sight causes you to momentarily lose your senses, pressing a kiss against his lips; the flustered pink tint of his cheeks too appealing. When you pull away, he follows your mouth for more, but you give him a pointed look and continue, 
“Thank you, wife”
“Kirimvose, ābrazyrys”, Aegon all but moans as you pour more wax down his chest in the middle of his utterance. Having him at your mercy, torturing him with stinging pleasure, has rendered you wanton as well, causing you to roll your hips against his more forcefully to dull the ache blooming there; waiting to be attended to. 
You lean forward, swiping your tongue over your husband's soft lips. He pays no heed to your instructions any longer, hands leaving the armrest to circle your body, pressing you closer to him as he devours your mouth. He pushes your body in a silent plea for you to continue rocking against him, and you comply, eager to soothe your neglected core. 
The passion between you almost causes you to forget the still burning candle in your hand, but you manage to detach from his lips long enough to blow it out, fingertips once again pressing into the melted wax on the top. Before it solidifies over your skin, you grab the sides of Aegon’s chin, messily pressing the wax into his flesh as you steer his face towards yours, kissing him deeply as he hisses in stinging bliss. 
Perhaps he truly needs another tutor? 
One that doesn’t get her cunt wet as soon as he opens his mouth.
. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
Thank you for reading! 🩵
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fingertipsmp3 · 4 months
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Absolutely devastated to report that spending time with my friends and being outside has in fact made me feel better
#i don’t know how i didn’t put two and two together that i was feeling lousy because i was lonely i’m so stuuuuuupid#i need to make even more friends and i need to spend time with them at least like a few times a week or i’ll lose it truly#or get a dog. or more plants?#i straight up don’t think i’m ready for a dog though. i mean i’d love one but i still miss mabel constantly#i do petsit for a few people and it helps i think. i’m having my mum’s friend’s lhasa apso for a few days in june#he’s hilarious. last time he was here he stood behind me and heavy breathed while i made a chicken stir fry#and also kept sitting on my windowsill and barking at passersby#i was like honestly this is immaculate. this is what i want#i still miss my girl and the way she used to stare into my soul whenever she needed anything & her loud snores#but i’m healing. seeing people and going out and doing shit helps. and laughter. oh god the laughter#the garden chair i was sitting on decided to give up on being a chair because i guess one of the bolts was loose#and i just felt it listing slightly and for some reason what came out of my mouth was ‘the chair is somewhat not—‘#as i slowly but surely fell over#we both about died laughing#she was like ‘ellen that is the understatement of the century. you should’ve said the chair is Definitely not a chair anymore#and also i am going to need help immediately’#i did hurt my knee a bit by getting stuck in a deep squat position but it’s nothing ice and stretches won’t help#i know this because the same shit happened to me back in december when i slipped on some ice. i really can’t catch a break#personal
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