#depression stage

[daisyswift3]

The Acceptance Stage of Grief—The Manuscript and Guilty as Sin

So I realized sth crazy recently. I think the 🎃 messages describe the 5 stages of grief; and I think the standard edition and The Manuscript variant of TTPD have the album cover they do bc it’s a play on the common expression “You’ve made your bed now lie in it" which means to accept the unpleasant results of your actions. This aligns w the Apple Music playlists Taylor made that have The Manuscript as part of the acceptance stage of grief. However, I will caveat this by saying that I don't think the Apple Music playlists are completely accurate as they are full of red herrings to throw everyone off (I'll explain this in more detail shortly) but I do think The Manuscript is one of the few songs that is properly placed and is not a red herring since the bed imagery and connections to the 🎃 messages indicate it represents acceptance. I think the messages not only give us Taylor's overarching story spanning the past decade, they also give us the true 5 stages of grief that are separate from the 5 stages of grief given in the playlists which are mainly for marketing and pr purposes. The messages are likely meant to be a navigation tool for us to more easily cut through all the noise, red herrings, and chaos that has come w TTPD's release (x)(x)(x). In the messages I just linked, 🎃 and 🫚 make it clear that there is a very specific reason why they sent this korner messages explaining the whole messy story. I believe this reason may be related to the TTPD epilogue because in it Taylor is essentially saying she’s at the mercy of the general public and her fans as she’s on trial in a court of public opinion; and I think our role is to serve as the “witnesses” to help her win this case and prove that she didn’t completely lie abt everything because otherwise how would this small group of ppl on tumblr have figured it out yrs ago? I think it’s possible that after coming out Taylor may direct ppl to this korner to prove that the truth was there hidden in plain sight the whole time if you were just willing to dig a little deeper past the surface level interpretations.

In this album cover, Taylor is literally lying in a bed that she’s made bc she is accepting whatever the consequences of her actions are. The story isn’t hers anymore, she’s sent it out into the world like a message in a bottle and now it’s just a matter of time. Come what may. This is the end of the 9th 🎃 message and I believe all of the 10th message as well since she chooses to step through the closet door accepting whatever fate lies on the other side. This connects to the most recent volcano anon message as well (x). I think the first part of the 9th message represents the depression stage of grief since it’s explaining that Taylor is a tortured poet because she is forced to hide her truth behind metaphors and red herrings which are likely the old habits that die screaming in The Black Dog, a common symbol of depression. In the fortnight mv, she is literally being tortured in an asylum w electroshock therapy (which is one of the same methods of conversion therapy they use to used on queer ppl) while a black dog lingers nearby.

In the Apple Music playlists, Taylor put The Black Dog in the anger playlist, but as I mentioned earlier I think this may be because the playlists are supposed to be more for swifties and to sell the Toe breakup narrative. Because, if you think abt it, it doesn't really make sense for The Black Dog, which is commonly used to represent depression, to symbolize anger. It also doesn't make sense for the acceptance stage playlist to be called I Can Do It With a Broken Heart when the song ICDIWABH is actually in the denial stage playlist. The math does not math. I think she was purposely trying to make it confusing for the general public and fans to make the puzzle harder to decipher so she gave them low hanging fruit. I think it's possible that the vinyl variants, which each have a bonus track that has a corresponding 🎃 message, are the actual 5 stages of grief. The Albatross = anger, The Bolter = bargaining, The Black Dog = depression, and The Manuscript = acceptance. I think it’s possible that she chose to only have 4 variants to make it harder to connect them to the 5 stages of grief and to make it look like the 5 stages of grief were just a last minute thing she threw together because she was running w swifties’ theories. But since the 5 stages of grief show up in the messages, it’s clear that this was sth she’s had planned for a while and it wasn’t just a last minute decision. I think that the denial stage may just be represented by a message and song.

“Six weeks of breathin' clean air, I still miss the smoke” -> The “smoke” is the smokescreen/Lavender Haze/blowing smoke/smoke and mirrors/bearding/pr stunts/red herrings/metaphors that she uses to cover up her truth like a magician pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes. She’s no longer going to use these tactics of trickery and deception but it’s not an easy habit to break when you’ve been doing it your whole life and it’s essentially your default state. Just like how it’s hard for a smoker to stop smoking cigarettes, which is probably another layer of this line making it a double entendre. I think this is what the lavender haze mv scene w her blowing smoke is meant to represent. As the clock gets closer to midnight she’s going to start this process of unraveling the “braids of lies” she’s woven over the years and it’s going to be a very difficult and painful process. I haven't done a full analysis of The Black Dog yet but I believe it's similar to TSMWEL, Peter, Fortnight, and Chloe et al where it's a conversation between Taylor the brand and Taylor the person. At the end of the song, Taylor the person finally chooses her happiness and her lover over her image/brand, which is the cause of her depression -> "Cause tail between your legs you're leaving and I still can't believe it cause old habits die screaming." She burns all the files and gets rid of her house which is likely the lover house. This is when she drags the "enemy" in the 8th message into the shark infested waters which I'll explain in the next paragraph.

The Bolter vinyl variant, represented by the entire 8th 🎃 message, is likely supposed to symbolize the bargaining stage of grief. I think she achieves part of the acceptance stage when she chooses to jump into the shark infested waters which may be why The Bolter edition also has her lying in a bed and why the 10th message (acceptance) seems to be a direct continuation of the 8th message. In the 8th message, the “enemy,” which is likely just Taylor herself or her public persona/reputation, is trying to make a deal w her—quite literally bargaining w her—and asking her lover to jump into the shark infested waters (destroy her reputation and get eaten alive by the fans and general public). Taylor refuses the deal since Karlie has been through enough already and jumps into the waters choosing to sacrifice her brand and image instead ->

“He [the enemy] was a cad, wanted her bad just like any good trophy hunter ['I've been the archer, I've been the prey'], And she liked the way it tastes, Taming a bear [Taylor’s made it clear she’s the bear], making him care, watching him jump then pulling him under, And at first blush this is fate, When it's all roses, portrait poses, Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats, What a charming Saturday, That's when she sees the littlest leaks down in the floorboards And she just knows she must bolt ['And you know in your soul when it's time to go']” //

8th 🎃 message: “You are not a hero. You never have been, and you never will be. You're a selfish asshole. But there are some people in this world worth breaking character for. And so in one swift motion [pun intended], you replace the solid boards beneath your feet with rushing deep blue water.”

10th 🎃 message: “You limp over uneven ground, smiling at the pain of the shark bite with each excruciating step - replaying the satisfying splash as you finally chose her over the world. As you grabbed the enemy and dove into the infested waters.”

The Apple Music playlists have The Bolter in the denial playlist but again I believe this is a red herring since the themes in the 8th message align more w the bargaining and acceptance stages.

(If you want to read more abt the connections to midsummer/midsommar see this excellent thread on the June 21/midsummer eve easter eggs)

I think this might also be what the bed imagery in Guilty As Sin and the Wildest Dreams eras tour visuals represents. She has accepted that when she reveals the truth many ppl, especially the conservative evangelical Christians, are probably gonna tell her she’s going to hell because she’s in a relationship w a woman, and figuratively burn her at the stake like the ppl accused of witchcraft and heresy in the middle ages were and this really ties in w all the religious imagery in this album -> “my bedsheets are ablaze” // “you’ll see me in hindsight tangled up with you all night burning it down" // BDILH eras tour visuals. We’ve discussed how in the TTPD epilogue she’s on trial in the court of public opinion and the jury is her fans and the general public. I think Guilty as Sin is her essentially saying “yes it’s true, I committed the crime of loving another woman; condemn me to hell if you want.” I find it interesting that it’s posed as a question “Guilty as Sin?” as if she’s asking the jury if they deem her worthy of punishment. It’s ultimately up to them to determine her fate and decide whether she’s guilty or not guilty. Some other kaylors pointed out that in the wildest dreams visuals Taylor looks completely at peace, sleeping soundly while everything burns around her. This likely symbolizes how she’s made peace w the fact that many fans may leave her and she may lose her career when she comes out—it indicates complete acceptance of any ensuing consequences.

(x)

But wait there’s more! I think there’s another layer to this song that relates to something very important she said in the rep prologue that many swifties conveniently ignore: “There will be slideshows of photos backing up each incorrect theory, because it's 2017 and if you didn't see a picture of it, it couldn't have happened right?” The obvious answer to this posed question, which is more rhetorical than anything, is NO. Why? Because “We think we know someone, but the truth is that we only know the version of them that they have chosen to show us” i.e. Taylor is only showing the public one side of herself w pap walks, staged photos, and social media posts and she can keep the other sides of herself hidden if she wants by just not doing these things. If she wants the public to know sth they will know abt it and if she doesn’t want them to know sth they won’t know abt it. Taylor knows that her fans have willfully ignored this message that she’s repeatedly tried to send to them over the years; so now she’s flipping the question on it’s head and using their inattentiveness to her advantage. She’s now saying “Well you guys never actually caught me and Karlie in the act, there’s no photographic or video evidence, so how can I be guilty as sin? I mean you said it yourself by ignoring this prologue. There is no picture; therefore it did not happen. So by your own logic I cannot be guilty!”

I also find it interesting that the bedsheets on the album cover and eras tour visuals are plain white 🤍. White is commonly a symbol of purity and innocence. This may be the purpose of the black and white aesthetic of TTPD—black for guilty 🖤, white for not guilty or innocent 🤍. The black and white may also relate to her duality and how she has 2 versions of herself that are in opposition to each other, Taylor Swift the person vs Taylor Swift the brand.

Just in case you got lost during my ramblings and tangents, I'll give you the tldr as well:

Beginning of 8th 🎃 message -> Bargaining stage: The Bolter; the enemy [Taylor Swift the brand/her reputation] wants to make a deal w her

Beginning of 9th 🎃 message -> Depression stage: The Black Dog; "old habits [red herrings/bearding/lavender haze/smoke and mirrors] die screaming"; Taylor is a tortured poet because she is forced to dilute her truth w metaphors, symbolism, and red herrings and this feeds into her depression

End of 8th and 9th 🎃 message and all of 10th 🎃 message -> Acceptance stage: The Manuscript and Guilty as Sin; she has made her bed and now is lying in it; represents the peaceful acceptance of any ensuing consequences; she has sent her story out into the world like a message in a bottle and made her case; now it is now up to her fans and the general public [the court of public opinion] to determine if she is guilty or not guilty; real Taylor has killed her old habits and the black dog by dragging her public persona into shark infested waters and burning down the lover house which represents her closet and music empire

Since this post is already lengthier than I wanted it to be I won't go into detail abt the denial and anger stages but I believe it's possible these are represented by the 1st and 2nd 🎃 messages respectively assuming the 5 stages of grief are in the usual order in the messages. The Albatross is obviously an angry song abt getting revenge on someone--most likely Scooter--so it makes sense for it to represent the anger stage; plus the same parachute metaphor that's in The Albatross shows up in the 2nd message which is related to the failed coming out and mastersheist which Scooter was involved in so it checks out. Then working backwards, this leaves the 1st message, which perfectly parallels The Prophecy, for the denial stage. I believe the 1st message is abt her first big pivot, her first failed coming out, during rep era (going full throttle on her getaway bike then slamming on the breaks which damages her heel) which was originally supposed to be lover/daylight. This would explain why she clips the wings of her TS6 jet and spray paints "reputation" on the side while wearing a palm tree outfit which relates to the palm tree/paradise easter eggs during lover era. I think this pivot may have been the thing that started this downward spiral through the 5 stages of grief hence why it represents the denial stage. Of course this is all just my interpretation of everything and I could be wrong. Feel free to share your thoughts, I'd love to hear other ppl's interpretations!

[tanatola]

🥰 hhh

[shinkuten]

[lesbicosmos]

we're never gonna see the emotional fallout of hell and esther.

we're never gonna see the gang get niko back or see the events that lead her to becoming the principal.

we're never gonna see charles figuring his shit out.

we're never gonna see edwin in a relationship despite one of his main s1 plots being realising it's okay to want that.

we're never gonna see crystal coming to terms with her past and realising that deep down she's not that person anymore.

we're never gonna see the night nurse being perpetually annoyed at everyone but slowly coming to like them as much as she would never let them know that.

we're never gonna see whether monty or the cat king make a return.

we're never gonna see crystal fully integrated into the agency in london.

we're never gonna see any more silly case antics.

season 2 could have been SO much, but now it's not because netflix ripped it away from everyone.

[0yorixu]

happy pride month

zozo outfits still slay

[pikslasrce]

the 5 stages of eurovision grief are denial anger anger anger anger

[tsukishiroism]

drawing my faves together = free dopamine

[indelen]

The way this adaptation hit all the big lore and plot points but also made time for the tiniest details that spoke so much about the characters was honestly so great to see, the show creators obviously had so much understanding and respect for the original source material, which is so rare nowadays.

[mdverse]

cheerios <3

[crustyfloor]

Ivan doesn't see Till either. Ivan doesn't see the way Till is loving him, in his own way, because he's fixated on the version of another ideal vision of love. Ivan didn't see the things Till did to keep him close when they were children. Ivan sees things for the surface level, Ivan sees Till for what he can give Ivan without giving Ivan a sign to look deeper. As blind as Till was to Ivan, Ivan was just as blind to Till in his own right

[shizunitis]

so what i’m getting is bingmei didn’t digest his meal properly, didn’t have xin mo, neglected self-care and proper cultivation for 5 years to keep shizun’s body functional, and he still managed to go toe to toe with bingge? damn dude talk about the power of love

[buggiiguts]

I could make him worse

[tswiftupdatess]

Taylor's Message for her 'Old Habits Die Screaming' Playlist on Apple Music:

''Welcome to my Old Habits Die Screaming Playlist where we're gonna be exploring the feelings of depression that often lays their way through my songs. In times like these, I'll write a song because I feel lonely or hopeless and writing a song feels like the only way to process that intensity of an emotion. And while these things are really really hard to go through, I often feel like when I'm either listening to songs or writing songs that deal with this intensity of loss and hopelessness usually that's in the phase where I'm close to getting past that feeling.''

[fun-sized-pocket-prince]

[weirdowithaquill]

ok question how and why was the scrapping of sentence vhecials even allowed in the first place I mean sure irl this isn't that bad but in ttte the mass scrapping of steam engines in the 60s in Britain might as well be considered a genocide did Brittish railways use every loophole and excuse in the book to do this and every other country for that matter

Thank you for your ask! And wow does it open up some cans of worms...

But before we get to in-canon reasons for why BR was able to mass-scrap steam engines, we should probably consider the author's intent behind writing this in - after all, the Reverend W. Awdry was writing a children's book series and went "ah yes, I want this to be a picture children see":

So why does Awdry allow for scrap to happen? Because it happened in real life. Awdry was a massive steam engine fan - he grew up on the Great Western mainline near Box Tunnel listening to engines working up and down the grade, his father was a steam fan, and he himself volunteered on various heritage railways (most notably the Talyllyn in Wales) - this is a man who loves his railways and his steam engines. But in the era he was writing - the 1950s and 1960s - the engines were rapidly withdrawn and scrapped as part of BR's Modernisation Plan. Awdry hated this - Britain was scrapping completely useful engines who had served the country through two global wars for untested, faulty diesels that smelt. If you read through the Forewards from Four Little Engines onwards, you can sometimes find that he is quietly advertising heritage railways by crediting them and telling his audience where the real-live versions of the steam engines in his books are. He does this for the Ravenglass and Eskdale Railway, the Dartmouth Railway, the Ffestiniog Railway and of course: the Talyllyn and Bluebell Railways.

Awdry's books were as much a love letter to steam as they were a series of children's stories, and he wanted to make a real point about how he disagreed with BR and try to promote heritage railways to help keep steam alive.

Rev. W. Awdry was also a notorious perfectionist. Remember, this is a man who said that Dalby's illustrations of Percy looked like "a green caterpillar with red stripes" (ouch!).

This perfectionism carried over to the books: Awdry is very famous for his views on realism in Thomas - he quite famously disliked the Season 3 episode 'Henry's Forest' because it both broke Rule 55 - which states that engineers need to notify the signalman that their trains are at a stand in order to avoid an accident - and the fact that the trees were too close to the line, which could have caused a fire from sparks from the engine in real life. He placed real railway practice and its constraints at the forefront of his stories, and it shows.

Mixed together, these two parts of Awdry created the situation where he wrote about the scrapping of engines and the existential danger that it posed to steam engines and their livelihoods. This is the authorial reasoning behind scrap and the mass-scrapping of steam engines being so prevalent in his works - and it is prevalent, from as early as the first story where Edward is bullied by the bigger engines for being used so little and the implicit likelihood that he could be withdrawn and cut up.

With the authorial reasons for the mass-scrapping of steam engines having been answered, it is now a question of how to drill down into canon and explain what these views and decisions made by Awdry translate into.

Firstly, we need to separate two things: sentience, and human. Vehicles are not people in this series - they are very much the closest thing in terms of intelligence and speech ability, but they are not human. They are built out of minerals pulled from in the ground and powered by more rocks dug up from underground. Whether or not you see this as making this a society that enslaves the engines or not, the reality is that they are machines and the property of their human owners. This is a lot like horses - horses love us, even though we own them, and we often love them back. But not always. Horses were and are, after all, animals used for jobs - in their heyday, they were the car, bus, tram and train of society. We bought and sold them, and when they were no longer useful, people often put them down. Which is extremely morbid, yes - but it's an unfortunately necessary fact of that era and their lives.

Now translate it over to locomotives - the iron horses.

Locomotives are built to serve a purpose, and they must be capable of fulfilling their role. They are taking on the position of the horse from the above analogy - and when they are no longer useful, they can either be sold or scrapped. Worse yet, they are the industrial evolution to the horse - the capitalist's beast of burden.

And now I can finally move to answer the question of why the mass-scrapping of engines was legal: there was never any laws to stop them. From the moment the first engine rolled out of the shop, their owners argued loudly and publicly that they were simply an evolution of the horse. If people didn't give horses rights, why give engines rights? They are not human; they are iron beasts of burden. And in the rigid and very xenophobic society of the Victorian era, this worked incredibly well. Engines were trained using the Railway Rulebook to fulfill their job in much the same way you trained anyone and anything to be good at their job, and their culture was dismissed in the same way that Victorians dismissed any non-European culture.

Now, don't misunderstand me - this is not a good thing. This is a laissez-faire system of caring for vehicle rights developed by capitalism to make it cheaper, easier and less objectionable to discard old stock when needed. The government never intervened because doing so would place all the vehicles under their control under scrutiny. Can't have military lorries and tanks suddenly wondering whether or not their roles in war are legal, after all. And it's that worry that led to no nation really looking into vehicle laws until after World War Two - and even then, it was haphazard at best and downright discriminatory at worst. Even today, there are still no solid laws in place to cover the vast majority of vehicles - only those held in museums owned by the government or 'considered to be of cultural or historic importance' are afforded any rights at all - Thomas, Flying Scotsman, Stephenson's Rocket - those engines.

It's not because the engines themselves don't care, but because they simply have no real option to change this. Engines cannot move themselves - the worst they can do is force themselves to break down, and there will almost always be another engine to take their place.

Sorry for how morbid that got, but I hope it helped explain why I think engines were allowed to be mass-scrapped by BR!

[moistbread]

sweet dream