#deuce is the best driver because he can actually pull off all these stunts

[britishassistant]

Deuce is the designated getaway driver for most of royal flush’s heists, yet despite his skills he is an absolute mad lad of a speed demon every time he gets behind the wheel (ace swears his heart stops every time he gets a look at deuce’s maniacal grin during a getaway)

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

And how does it feel to have such a big brain? Because I LOVE THIS.

Yuu knew from the moment Deuce’s serious face began to curve in a almost…manic grin that they were going to regret whatever came next.

“O-oi, cauldron-brain!” Ace pipes up from where he’s securing their tied hands to the handhold in the car’s ceiling, voice wavering oddly. “Remember, Royal said inconspicuous, okay?! In-con-spicu-ous!! No, no crazy shit this time, alright?!”

Deuce scoffs. “I know that, you jerk, it was one time!! The axle wasn’t even that broken! You don’t hafta keep going on about it like a broken record!!”

Yuu would quite like to ask what in the world they’re talking about, only the gag in their mouth is keeping them from doing so.

“Ah, crap! The meathead’s onto us!” The minion in the shotgun seat cries out, “We gotta scram!”

The reporter can see Yuuken dashing towards the unmarked car they’ve been shoved into in the wing mirror, camera abandoned, yelling their name alongside demands for their captors to stop and let them go.

Deuce guns the engine.

The tires actually squeal and the engine belches black smoke as the car peels away from the sidewalk into oncoming traffic, going from 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds.

And they keep speeding up.

Horns are blaring around them as the car swerves in and out of traffic lanes, the passengers getting jostled violently as the vehicle rides roughshod over dividers and onto sidewalks.

Even as they’re thrown against the window, the rope tying them to the car and seatbelt hastily pulled across their chest the only things holding them in place, Yuu can’t stop watching in horror as the numbers on the speedometer keep ticking up. 80. 85. 90. 95. 100. 110. 120.

They’re pretty sure Ace isn’t attempting to keep them from escaping anymore as he clings to them and screams, interspersed with hollers of “OI, OI, OI, WAIT, NO CRAZY SHIT, YOU SAID NO CRAZY SHIT!!!” and “THE ROAD DEUCE, GET US ON THE ROAD, OH GOD, WE'RE GONNA HIT SOMEONE, WATCH OUT!!!”

The minion in shotgun hasn’t said anything for a while, and from how his limbs are ragdolling with every turn the car takes, the reporter’s not sure he’s still conscious.

And through it all, Deuce just spins the wheel with that manic, insane, terrifying grin on his face as he jackknifes the brakes to slide through a set of traffic lights before putting the gas through the floor again.

Well, if this doesn’t kill me, Yuu thinks, dazed, then I don’t know what could.