#did this in like 15 mins tho - just something quick while getting used to all the new settings I need to learn

[ifindus]

Had a go at Clip Studio Paint! Had a urge to draw my søta bror, idk why 👀✨

[retrievablememories]

try again | ten

title: try again pairing: ten x black!reader genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff request: “Can I ask a dark Ten and his black wife having a miscarriage and feeling like she failed him in being a good wife and making him a father so she wants a divorce so he can be happy with someone else but he persists on being with her not matter what happens. Thanks for taking it!” word count: 2.9k warnings: mentions of a miscarriage, depression/grief, marital troubles a/n: my computer/photoshop is being raggedy as hell so i don’t have an actual banner pic or paragraph separators for now 😢 god. i ended up watching a 15 min youtube video about newborns b/c of this fic, tho, so that was fun

Seeing those two little lines was one of the happiest days of your life.

After trying for nearly a year and thinking it was never going to happen, you finally got a positive result. You took 5 tests to make sure you weren’t imagining things, but it was as real as it could possibly be. The doctor’s confirmation only sealed the deal.

To know that there was a small life growing inside you that you could call your own, made from both you and Ten’s DNA, was astounding to you. There were many nights where you simply laid in bed tracing shapes over your stomach, wondering what your child would be like and if they already knew how much you adored them. You especially loved it when Ten would lay his head on your chest and caress your stomach, speaking softly to both you and your growing child.

Some hidden part of you had wanted to be hesitant about celebrating this developing chapter of your life, not knowing if things would turn out alright since it had been so difficult to conceive before. Soon, though, you let that worry fade to the back of your mind in the face of your overwhelming joy. You filled your hours with thinking about baby names and baby nurseries and baby clothes, wanting to create the best life you possibly could for your little one.

You willed your fears not to get the best of you for once and instead poured all your energy into creating that reality. A reality that, unbeknownst to you both, wouldn’t come to pass.

You can still remember that blissful feeling now, if you concentrate hard enough and try to push past the pain. You hold onto that glimpse of happiness very tightly, drawing what you can from its memory until you can receive nothing more.

Back when you first lost the baby, Ten had promised you he could never be mad at you about it, even though you asked him over and over again—nearly everyday—if he was upset with you. Even then, he didn’t get angry with you asking all the time, which somehow made you feel worse. Like even more of a burden. You tried to stop asking about it, stop thinking about it, but his words weren’t quite enough to reassure you.

Despite your best efforts—from both you and him—the seed of doubt implanted itself in your mind anyway and slowly began festering there.

Where your bed once was a place where you dreamed about your future child, and even conceived them there, it’s now become something of a prison. A constant reminder of what happened and what won’t happen. The sheets are more like arms that suffocate you in their hold and keep you confined in a cocoon of pain. Despite your desire to be free of this cage that’s sprung up around you, you find it impossible to escape.

Whenever Ten is off at work, you continually ruminate on the past year of failures. Your one tiny hope and the end of its brief light, so quick that it’s difficult to remember how it happened. No, you don’t recall much from the day you were rushed to the hospital or how the miscarriage itself occurred, though you think maybe it’s better that way.

You’re somewhat grateful for how the human brain knows how to protect itself from trauma. Sometimes it’s the only way to survive. You find it incredibly ironic, though, how things we don’t remember still imprint themselves on our minds and souls. You experience the pain as acutely as if you’d been mentally present for it all.

The dark thoughts press in more closely whenever Ten is not next to you, though you never feel completely whole even when he is around to comfort you. Your mood worsens in the day, when he’s gone at work. You don’t even have your own work anymore to take your mind off of things, having taken a month off to recover. The worries that plague you during these hours make it hard to do much of anything but lie in bed and sleep.

You’re more grateful for his presence than he can know, but you also feel increasingly guilty when he’s the one who has to do most of the housework. If you had the energy or motivation to do it, you would; but right now, those feelings are lost to you. You keep hoping to yourself that you’ll find your way out of this dark place soon, even though you are more suffocated by it by the minute.

On a day where you find it especially difficult to keep the thoughts at bay, you contemplate many things.

What would it be like if you were no longer here? If Ten could find another wife who could actually give him what he so desired, without failing this time? He deserves that much, doesn’t he? To have a family of his own, even if it can’t be with you. Maybe you can’t have kids at all, and your short pregnancy was the only chance you had of conceiving. In that case, you reason that he should be able to go off and find someone else instead of you clinging so tightly to him, unable to let go.

It pains you to do it, but you begin writing a note for him to find later, too afraid to tell him out loud what you’ve been thinking and what you plan to do. You don’t know if anything you’re writing makes sense, but you feel like you have to do it either way; there’s no point in staying and making you both more miserable.

That night, Ten holds you as he falls asleep, like every other night. You stay awake for hours after he drifts off, turning your plan over in your head. A few tears drop from your eyes, but you quickly wipe them away, ignoring your own heartache. You’ve already set your mind to it.

When Ten gets home that Thursday, he’s surprised and a little panicked to see your car not in the driveway. It’s been sitting there for weeks, but now that it’s gone, it must mean you’ve went somewhere.

Maybe you’ve gathered enough strength to go out today and go shopping, something you always liked to do. A part of him suspects that isn’t the real answer, though, which only increases his anxiety. Maybe he’s just being paranoid, but he decides to check just in case.

He calls you, but it goes straight to voicemail. When he tries a few more times with the same result, his nervousness turns into full-blown panic. Unsure what to do, he decides to text you despite knowing he probably won’t get an answer.

6:25 P.M. Y/N are you okay? Where are you???

6:26 P.M. If you decided to go out today just text or call me back please, I just need to know you’re okay

6:26 P.M. I’m really worried

Ten finally gets out of the car and goes in the house, rushing up the stairs to your shared bedroom. He’s doubtful he’ll find anything there, but he needs some kind of answer for what’s going on. To his surprise, there’s a note lying on the bed.

Chittaphon,

I’m leaving for a while. Please don’t panic or be upset, I’ll be safe where I’m going. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything, but maybe it will be easier this way. I’m not sure if I can continue on like this. I have to think about some things. I want you to know that I’ve loved you since the first moment, but I don’t know if that’s enough anymore.

I did everything I could to help us form a life together, but I failed anyway. I hate myself for it. I don’t blame you if you hate me too, or if you’re only staying with me because you think I can’t make it on my own right now. I just want you to find happiness again, whether I’m there or not.

Y/N

Ten shakily sits on the bed, covering his mouth with his hand and closing his eyes tightly against the tears. The absolute stillness of the house without you in it is overbearing, and he puts his head between his knees as he tries to block the quiet out. He doesn’t move from that spot for a long time, and his head pounds from the blood rushing to his skull, but that discomfort is nothing compared to the turmoil stirring in his chest.

A loud knocking on the door startles you out of your sleep.

It’s only been a few days since you left your home with Ten, and you’ve kept your phone off and buried at the bottom of your suitcase since then. You had no intentions of talking even if he tried to contact you, and you eliminated that line of communication so you wouldn’t have to. It’s been your small hope that your actions have built up enough to make him hate you, to not want to contact you anymore, to agree to a divorce—although that thought brings you more pain all the same.

You stumble out of bed and into the hallway, and there’s an ensuing commotion on the other side of the hall as your parents come rushing out of their room. Your mother comes to your side with concern and panic on her face, grabbing your arm. “Y/N? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you say, though you’re trembling a little from the sudden noise.

“I don’t know who the hell is banging on the door like that at this time of night, but let me tell you…” Your father curses under his breath as he heads to the living room to peek out the window and see who it is. He quickly comes back into the hallway with a puzzled expression. “Y/N, it’s your husband.”

“Chittaphon? I thought you said you both agreed it’d be best for you to come home for a little while? Why is he here at this hour?” Your mom gives you a wide-eyed look, waiting for your explanation, and your head begins to hurt from the hurricane of emotions you’re enduring.

Your fingers fidget as you try to steady your nerves enough to respond. “Please, just let me talk to him alone. I-I know why he’s here, but we have to talk…”

Ten bangs on the door again, and your dad gives a skeptical glance. “Are you sure?”

“It’s fine, I promise,” you say, gently ushering your parents back to their room. “Please, just let me handle this.” They look like they want to say or do something more, but they relent to your request and leave you in the hallway alone. Your mother glances at you from behind the door before closing it, though you notice she doesn’t shut it all the way.

When you open the door, Ten stands there looking at you from behind the screen door with distress written all over his face. The mesh screen obscures his features a bit, but you can still read him from a mile away. You immediately feel guilty, though you don’t make any move to open the door. You’ve already made your decision—but mostly for his sake.

Ten drops his backpack—the only thing he has with him—and presses his hands against the mesh as if he could touch you through it. You back up a little when he does, standing further away from the entrance. He sounds like he’s been running a marathon when he speaks. “Why did you leave?”

“Why are you here?”

“Y/N, I know there is only one place you’d go for sure in a situation like this. And I was right. Why did you leave?”

You shake your head. “I don’t think this is a good idea anymore.”

“What isn’t a good idea? Us being together?”

“We should get a divorce,” you say quietly, somewhat afraid of his reaction, though you still think it needs to be put out in the air.

Ten is lost for words, and he has to think for a few moments before speaking again. “Y/N. Just tell me this one thing. Do you hate me?”

You’re quiet for a moment. You want to tell him yes, to make this separation easier so he can forget about you and move on. But your throat tightens at the idea of letting that word pass your lips. Tears sting the backs of your eyes even though you silently beg them not to.

“No.” Your voice wavers a little when you respond. “I just...want you to be happy. I’m sure you read the note.”

“You’ve forgotten one thing. I can’t be happy without you.”

“But you were happy before you met me. You can do that again.”

Ten presses his forehead against the door, knowing he has to keep his patience even if he’s upset. “But we’re together now, and now that you’re in my life I don’t want you to ever leave.”

“Chittaphon, please. You don’t need me. The only thing I’ve done lately is be a burden to you.”

“Y/N. You know, I considered just letting you go wherever you needed to go to make things less painful for you. That’s the only reason I didn’t come up here immediately. I thought maybe you’d fallen out of love with me, didn’t want to see me again, and that I just needed to let you be for a while...but Y/N, I can’t be without you. I’m not going to leave my wife alone when she needs me the most—whether you’ll allow yourself to believe that or not.”

The first tears drop despite your resistance to them, and you have to struggle to talk through the knot in your throat. “But I-I couldn’t—I’ve been a terrible wife, I couldn’t give you the child you w-wanted, that we b-both wanted…” You lean against a nearby wall for stability as your body grows weaker. “We tried so hard for a year, and…”

Ten clings more tightly to the mesh, his own tears dripping from his chin. “Please open the door.” At this point you are too shattered to deny him, and you seek his comfort even though you feel undeserving of it.

When Ten finally coaxes you onto the porch, he pulls you straight into his arms and holds you close, allowing himself to simply breathe in the scent of your hair and skin. You both end up sinking to the wooden porch floor, with Ten embracing you.

“Y/N, I’m begging you to trust me. There’s no way I could hate or blame you for this,” he says quietly, your tears wetting each other’s skin. “Sometimes things happen that we don’t understand. That just means we have to get through them together.” He pulls back a little to make you look at him, his hands cradling your face. “We can always try again. This doesn’t have to be the end, Y/N.”

You nod slowly, looking into his despairing eyes. “I’m sorry.”

You allow him to bring your head to his chest—the same as he often did with you. His heartbeat thuds under your ear, and the sound makes you feel calmer than you’ve been in weeks. You sit together like that for a while, listening to the sounds of wildlife all around you and letting yourselves mend the broken pieces of each other.

You wake up to the sensation of a small, wiggling weight on your chest, and you’re confused as to what’s going on until you hear the sound of a familiar set of giggles. A smile crosses your face before you even open your eyes, and you reach your hand out to feel a bundle of soft, curly hair.

“Are you awake already? It’s so early.” More happy laughter is your response, and you finally let loose a chuckle of your own. You open your eyes to the sight of your 1-year-old son nose-to-nose with you, his warm breaths puffing across your face. He smiles and squeals loudly when he sees you looking at him, and you scoop him up into your arms to cuddle him close.

“Good morning my little boy,” you sigh, kissing the top of his head. He smells freshly-washed, so you know Ten must’ve given him a bath already. Your son is more interested in treating you like a playground and climbing all over you rather than lying in your arms, but you’re more than happy to let him play to his heart’s content.

The door to your bedroom opens soon after, the smell of breakfast drifting into the room. The bed sinks behind you as Ten climbs on, and your son squeals even louder at the sight of his father. Laughing, Ten picks the small boy up and nuzzles his face into his hair before turning to you.

“Hey sexy, breakfast is ready,” he says, leaning forward to kiss your cheek.

“Don’t flatter me, I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet,” you say this with a grin as Ten keeps kissing your face, with your son trying to get in between you so he can give you kisses too. You wrap your arms around both of them and you all huddle up in a heap on the bed, laughing and falling over each other. In this moment, you have little doubt that you’re the happiest person in the world.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

The excessive lag is gone. DbD usually lags a bit normally, so it’s back to the usual kind of lag that doesn’t ruin gameplay for the most part.

My teammates somehow managed to break Haunted Grounds every time the Clown found me. However, I managed to mind-game him a shit ton and wasted his time. When he failed to down me after the 3rd Haunted Grounds was up, he rage-quit! XD

Load into a lobby with a streamer, so I pull up his stream to here what his side is like while I play. He praised me for leading a Leatherface on a 3-Gen Chase, especially since he thought the rest of the lobby was like Rank 10 and under. The others weren’t very good tbh. Rank 15s. Still, I get downed in the chapel, right at the window you have to vault. Streamer is doing a Gen outside the building and was like, ‘oh man, it was a good run tho’. I pushed my body up against the window and made Leatherface vault instead of pick me up. 4 times in a row. And streamer is like, ‘did he just slug her, what’s going on?’ so I say in his chat, ‘I’ve tricked this twit into vaulting this window 4 times already!’. I had the time to type after all. By the 6th vault, I had distracted him long enough for another Gen to get done, and the streamer’s was about to finish too. I used Unbreakable just in time for Adrenaline to pop, and the streamer was cackling! We all Escaped!

I decided to be ballsy by trying to get killers to whiff when carrying Survivors to Hooks! And it worked! I did this to a Legion for an entire match and got face-camped at the end because I made him unable to Hook anyone. And you know what? He still failed. Yui had Borrowed Time and I guess he didn’t realize that you can unHook from different angles now so blocking the front wasn’t going to work. He got blinded by 2 Flashlights in the process and we all got out.

Bought Kate because I had enough Shards to. I did this just so I can do all those challenges demanding I use Windows of Opportunity. Also I wanted Dance With Me for ninja builds.

Decided to do a Challenge requiring me to get Flashlight saves, and my aiming with the Flashlight isn’t good on a normal day, let alone when they’re bugged. But I tried so hard! I played so much more aggressively than ever before! And I got some Blinds!

Bruh, if you decide to dedicate 2 of your Perk slots to something that can be broken in a few seconds, you choosing to DC when things don’t pan out, is pathetic. The whole using Undying in combo with other Hex Perks is legit used by everyone now and half the Killers who use it rage-quit if things don’t work out. If all Totems are broken before any Gens get done, Killer DCs. If Undying is broken first, quickly followed by Ruin, Killer DCs. If Undying isn’t the Hex broken first, but the other is broken steadily in order as it hops around, Killer DCs. Like, it seems like a great Perk, it’s just the majority of people using it aren’t very good apparently.

TWITCHORTREAT is a redeem code for a Trapper Charm. Trap-O-Lantern.

I got downed and my team managed to corner the Trapper and make him walk into his own trap! The whole game this moron walked into his own traps all the time. I don’t play him often but I’m pretty sure his traps are outlined in like red or yellow, right? Surely it’s easy to avoid them even when not being corralled into them?

NO-ED users like to act tough if they manage to get a hit in when it’s active, but if someone cleanses it, they’re “toxic” and “mean”.

I got to experience Mindbreaker for the first time. Didn’t even know it existed before today. It was a Mindbreaker/Ruin combo and it sucked! Still Escaped but it took forever! That is the Perk I hate most. I have decided this. Not having Sprint Burst automatically able to be used unnerved me so much.

How does a Rank 1 Survivor not know how to sneak around a Killer when they’re face-camping but only facing one direction? Like, Blight legit was only facing the left(toward where the doors are) and someone could have come from the right or behind and his dumb ass would have seen nothing until it was done. She had Borrowed Time and Urban Evasion too. She was healthy, never been Hooked, and had Borrowed Time. She could have sneaked up silently and done it. Instead I got left to die because she chose to pace back and forth behind a wall for A FUCKING MINUTE!

I did a ninja build a lot today! Dance With Me, Iron Will, Lithe, and Quick & Quiet! I fucked with this Leatherface so bad and it was the best thing ever! I Escaped, got 5 Flashlight Blinds on him, and lost him in every Chase, I love this build so much!

I was gonna save this dude. It was just us and 1 Gen left. The Gen was half done. I slip by Ghost Face while he goes to kick the Gen, and right as I get there the dude kills himself on his first Hook! And I just stopped running and stood in front of his hook for a few seconds, just staring in aggravation. Then I teabagged to get the frustration out. Ghost Face joins me so we’re just teabagging this broken Hook, and then he leads me to the Hatch and lets me go. It was the Killer’s first game as Ghost Face and they sent me a friend request. We’ve played some swf matches together already.

There’s something wrong with the Feng Min bloodweb. It freezes my game so I can’t click on anything, and is the only bloodweb to freeze the game. I tried every other one on Survivor and Killer and nothing bad happened.

OKAY! We get the saloon map, Feng Min has a Key and she’s swf with Ace. They put on that Offering for the Hatch to spawn in the shack. It’s a Clown. He downs Feng Min after Ace and I finish a Gen. We all converge to try and help. Bill and Ace distract so she can go to a pallet. I’m blending into a bush nearby. Clown successfully chases the other two away and goes to pick up. I morph out of the bush and slam the pallet down. Feng Min goes free and runs. He gives Chase. He gets her in the tiny walled off room and has to break the doors first to get out. Then he comes out to see where the nearest Hook is. It’s in the street between the saloon and the shack this time. He goes and picks her up and I have the small idea to try and get a blind when he comes out the doorway. I aim and go for it. He has nowhere to turn with Bill blocking behind him, and he walks off the balcony. The beam of the Flashlight shrinks and I get a notification for rescuing Feng Min from his grasp, mid-air! She’s on top of his head for like 3 seconds, and I continue to chain blind him while he stands there and she runs. He Disconnected!

I wish I was recording that so much.

[0vorenation0]

Jakes Surprise (Part 2 Final)

(Warning~ This story does not contain vore or any sexual components.)

Jakes bf turned to me and looked down, thinking about what the plan was. While he thought I opened my suit case and grabbed Jakes Bday gift. I couldn’t wait till tomorrow so I wanted to give it to him when he saw I was here for birthday. Once I got it out and placed it to the side, Jakes bf had an idea.

Jakes bf~”I got it Cal, I’m gonna act like I have a early surprise for him like a present. Then I’m gonna tell him to cover his eyes and I’ll bring you out and we will surprise him.”

Me~” That’s perfect, okay we got a game plan. Alright u go get jake and I’ll wait here until u come and get me.”

Jakes bf left and went to go get Jake, I stood there waiting for him and while he did that I put my clothes in the dresser. Jakes bf came in right after I was done and gestures me to come slowly and quietly. I took off my shoes so he couldnt hear two sets of shoes and walked with him. We got to the living room when I saw my buddy Jake standing there eyes covered.

Jake~” come on bud what’s the surprise, you didn’t get a puppy or something cuz I don’t think we’re ready for that kind of commitment.”

Jakes bf~” not quite a puppy but your going to love it, it’s something you would never have expected and you will most likely never forget it.”

Jake~”surprises are scary when I’m not the one doing them can I open my eyes yet!!”

I stood in front of him and jakes bf counted from three.

Jakes bf~” 3, 2, 1 open your eyes jake!!!!! Happy Birthday!!!!”

Jake opens his eyes real quick and his eyes widened as he froze in shock.

Me~” how’s this for a birthday surprise Jake, Happy Birthday my friend.”

Jake finally came to and jumped in excitement and screamed “OMG CAL, is it really you?!!! WTF I thought u were in Texas. Omg bro I’m crying COME HERE give me a hug.!!!!”

Jake ran to me and gave me the biggest hug I had ever received, a tear feel down the my cheek as I finally met in real life my best bud jake. We probably hugged for a solid 2 mins, you would think that two brothers had been reunited after years apart. After the hugging and some crying stopped, Jake couldn’t believe it. He turned to his bf and asked him if he had anything to do with it. He shocked his head yes and jake hugged and kissed his bf, he came back to me and hugged me again.

Jake~” Cal this is the best Birthday present I have ever gotten, thank you so much. I’m so happy and excited, wait how long are you staying. It’s just just till tomorrow right?”

Me~”Haha Love you jake and happy birthday, naww I’m satying for a week bud. So we can go do lots of stuff.”

Jake~” Are you serious a whole week? OMG YES, I can’t wait to show u around and have fun. What should we do first? Maybe the university I’d love to show u around or the museum, maybe the park.”

Me and Jakes bf~” slow down Jake, we can do all of those things haha.”

Cal~”so now that you got to see ur bfs big present, would u like to open mine?”

Jake~”You got me a gift too, aww Cal thanks. Let’s see it”

I tell jake to stay there and I go into the guest room and pick up the presents. All neatly wrapped in a box. I head back out and hand it to Jake.

Cal~”here you go bud hope you like it.”

Jake sits down on the couch and opens the wrapping, he gets a knife and cuts the box open. The box opens and jake takes out a bottle wrapped in tissue paper. He tears the tissue paper off and smiles. Then looks up at me.

Cal~”I know it’s not much bud, but I promised to give that to you when I visited u for the first time. Do u like it?”

The gift was a Roger Staubach Dr. Pepper two liter bottle, I promised Jake one day while we were talking. That I would personally deliver that bottle to him, most people would think it wasnt worth anything. For me and Jake tho it represented our friendship, he hated the Dallas Cowboys but he was a sports fan and it came from me. He smiled at me and said,

Jake~”I cant believe you remembered to bring it Cal, thanks this means so much to me. Every time I look at it, I will remember this day and how u made me feel. This to me is better then any expensive gift because this comes from you and it means a lot to you.”

The bottle wasn’t worth but 15 bucks, I had picked it up and some garage sale. The worth was that it was a gift to my dear friend Jake. That’s what made it priceless in his eyes. He put it one the table and stood up and went over to me. He hugged me again and said thank you for everything, your my best friend. Meeting jake for the first time was the best day so far of my life. After his gift, he gave me a beer and we sat down to watch an old Syracuse game that was probably ten years old. We laughed and talked me Jake and his bf, I had a great night. We talked about the future and the past. The present and random stuff, I wouldn’t trade that for anything. The day ended and we all went to sleep, the following day Jakes bf made me and Jake a birthday breakfast and we discussed what we would do today. Jake was really excited to show me his campus.

So after we ate we all got ready and went out, he showed me around his campus. It was beautiful and then we went out to a pizza place cuz i wanted to try some NY pizza. It was a the best pizza ever haha, the next day and following rest of the week was so much fun. We went to see a movie, a museum and we even drove four hours so I could see the 9/11 memorial and the Statue of Liberty. The vacation I decided to take was the best trip of my life and I loved every minute of it. Jake and his bf were sad on the final morning before I had to leave. The end turned out like the beginning, lots of hugs and a little crying. I was saddened to go home but I told them I would be back as soon as I could, and told jake and his bf to surprise me in Texas when they could. With that we said goodbye and I left home for Texas. I will never forget meeting my best friend Jake, and having an awesome week. Now that I met him, I felt closer then ever to him. He was like my brother I never knew I had, you wonder how someone u meet online can make a huge impact on ur life and then when u meet them. They turn out to make and even bigger impact on ur life.

Right when I got on my plane jake went out to get the mail. It was a birthday card and he opened it, happy birthday jake. Hope you loved ur gift and I know I’m writing this in advance but I love you bud and I’m so happy I got to meet u. See you soon bud!!!

That’s where the story ends everyone, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE. I love you so much, u mean so much to me and hopefully one day that’s how us meeting will go. @texanstrongjake

[sweetlydraws]

Painted Lady AU Christmas at Clover-Bloom (Dealing with the Pressure.)

I started to write this at the begging of December. Life got in the way. I wanted some character interaction. Marinette and the OCS.

Warnings? (Panic attack. Criticism of the Class.)

Third-person P.O.V

Marinette leaving her design class when her tablet binged from a notification. An email? The email reads,

“Dear Students of Clover-Bloom Academy,

As we are now in the month of December, I must remind you all that holiday plans are to be submitted to the head office before the 19’th. We do not want anyone missing any holidays with their family or friends.

Another reminder will be sent on the 10’th. Have a lovely rest of your day.

Headmaster Jean Corbin.”

Marinette read the email a few times. She didn’t realized that you had to put in leave for Christmas. Her tablet binged again, this time it was a text from Brethold.

“Hey M-Nette you out of class? Want me to pick you up?” Marinette sends a quick okay back. She then sits on a nearby bench. Ever since she made some jeans for Brethold, he’s been insisting that he do stuff for her.

Marinette takes her hair out of her pigtails. Running her fingers threw her hair. The middle of her hair is still wet. Sighing she puts her hair in a ponytail instead. Feeling movement in her bag, she sees that Pollen and Trixx having a silent fight about who get to play this new Ladybug and Chat Noir phone game.

Marinette honestly didn’t like this phone game. Like the Ladybug movie, whoever made it had bad characterizations of her and Chat. But she’s not Ladybug anymore, so she can’t denounce it. Pollen and Trixx seem to enjoy it, so she tolerates it. Sadly Nooroo wasn’t there. Nooroo was tired after last night. They had to stop another fight between the Crimson Beetle and Chat Noir again.

Sighing, Marinette just couldn’t figure out why Chat wouldn’t let her talk to him. According to Nooroo, Plagg should know that she’s the Painted Lady. When she first introduced herself to the Beetle, Tikki and Nooroo seemed to have some conversation that left the Beetle trusting her. Why couldn’t Chat do the same?

BEEP BEEP!

“M-NETTE! YOUR TAXI IS HERE!” Brethold yells from his helmet. Brethold was sitting on his scooter, waving at her. Getting up, she walks towards him. Brethold hands her a helmet. They zoom off. “How was class?” Brethold half yells.

“Busy!” Marinette yells back. In Marinette design class her final project is something you work on all year. Because Marinette started school later, she only had to make 3 out of the 4 outfits she designed. She decided on the ones based on Pollen, Nooroo, and Trixx.

“Did you get the holiday email?!” Brethold yelled.

“Yeah!”

“Do you have plans!?”

“I don’t know yet!” Honestly Marinette’s parents only celebrated Christmas because they were semi-forced too. Her mom side of the family only like 4 or 5 people did Christmas and her dads side weren’t really there. Sighing, Marinette decided she would just call her parents tonight and ask them.

“I’m staying!” Brethold’s voice broke Marinette’s thoughts. Before Marinette could yell back they arrived at the Greenhouse Cafe. Brethold parks and they both get off.

“What do you mean your staying?”

“If you don’t have plans, or don’t summit leave you stay at Clover-Bloom over the holiday break.” He shrugs. “My parents don’t do Christmas, never could afford it growing up. Just wasn’t a thing we do. Also my parents house wasn’t updated to accommodate my leg.” He patted his hip, gesturing down his leg.

Marinette nods. She couldn’t imagine if she had hurt her hands or legs and trying to get into her room.

“What is Clover-Bloom like during the holidays?” Marinette asks. She and Brethold head into the cafe.

“Well… There are no classes. Classrooms that have expensive equipment in them are locked but other than that. There all opened. If you have a year-long project you have this time to work on it.” Brethold explains as they head to the booth in the back. Lilian and Vivienne are already there.

“Sup loser! Hey Mari, how was fashion class?” Lilian smiles as she moves her bag to block Brethold from sitting. He sits on the bag, never breaking eye contact from Lilian.

“Will you two ever stop?” Vivienne asks looking tired. Whatever was going on between the cousins, cause them to ignore Vivienne.

“Vivienne, what are you doing for the break?”

“During brake I live with aunts. So I’m staying. I’m probably not going to be in my dorm, but who knows.”

“Do you celebrate Christmas?”

“If my aunt Seong-Min is here for Christmas, then yes.”

“Where is she again?” Lilian asks as she yanks her bag from under Brethold.

“Last time she checked in it was Toronto Canada.” Vivienne rubs the back of her neck.

“Before you ask Marinette, I’m also staying. And no, I don’t celebrate Christmas. Well my parents do but I don’t.” Lilian holds her drink and points at Marinette.

“Can I ask why?” Marinette pulls out her phone to text her parents.

“I just don’t like that I have to buy stuff on this one day to show that I care about people.” She shrugged. “I give people things all year to show that I love them you know. It’s just frustrating that if you don’t give someone something then your a bag guy, even if you gave them something they week before.” Lilian started to get worked up. She shakes her head. Christmas is not a thing to get amokized over.

“Do you celebrate Christmas Mari?” Lilian asks after chugging down a red bull.

SMACK!

“What was said about that.” Vivienne hissed. Brethold quietly snickered. Lilian only muttered under her breath.

“Kinda...” Marinette answered. “My mom side of the family are all in China and my dad side isn’t really in my life. My grandfather doesn’t like my mom, and my grandma travels the world. My parents mostly used Christmas as a day off. At my old school I spent most of the month making things for my former class.” Marinette sighed. It’s been a few months since what happened but it still is sore to talk about.

“Marinette you don’t have to make anything for us. I don’t know if you were planning to or not. I just wanted to throw that out there.” Vivienne says.

“Yeah! You made me these jeans already and I still need to pay you back for them!” Brethold adds.

“I love your designs but I’m not going to get them for free. I’ll gladly pay you first.” Lilian agrees.

Marinette is taken aback. She is just so use to making things for free and not getting anything in return. Before she could rebuttal Aurora bounced in.

“Hello! Guess who is going to Berlin to see her brother for Christmas!” Aurora sang.

“Vivienne?” Brethold joked.

“No, me! Xavier called me last night and told me the plans. I just sent my notice. I leave the 19’th and I’m coming back the 6’th! What were we talking about before I showed up?” Aurora change topics easy.

“Marinette was asking what we're doing for the holiday and if we celebrate Christmas. And we were telling her not to make us clothing as a present.” Vivienne explained.

“If Marinette makes me something I’ll make her something back! Also my family celebrates Christmas. Since my family all live apart, we really go ham for Christmas. Vivienne knows!” Aurora smiles. Vivienne's eyes go wide and she shudders.

“Your family tried to kill me,” Vivienne says pointing her finger. Marinette gasps.

“It’s not my fault your family doesn’t do touching.” Aurora laughs.

“Wait I’m confused?” Marinette whispers.

“My family is a very touchy-feely one. They love showing they love people. So Vivienne was the target of a lot of that love. Her family is very…. Stiff?” Aurora explains through giggles.

“My grandmother,” Vivienne mutters. Marinette nods in confusion.

“Did anyone tell her about our tradition?” Aurora asks. The table goes silent. Lilian smacks her head.

“No, we forgot.” She mutters. Marinette tilts her head.

“On the 15’th we meet up on the roof of C building, bring a karaoke machine and some junk food and have a blast! Since you here, you're invited!” Aurora claps her hand a few time.

“How do you have access to C building? We all live in D?” Marinette questions

“I have keys to all the dorm buildings. Perks of my uncle being the headmaster.” Lilian grins. Marinette is taken aback.

“Do I have to bring anything?” She asks prepared to take notes.

“Only your self. If you want to bring anything that’s up to you.” Vivienne says. Marinette finds this very frustrating before she was constantly told what to do, what to bring. Marinette chest tightens. What if they did want something? What if they get mad at her! What if she messes up! “Ma-” What if they can’t get food, and she didn’t bring anything!”Ette-” What if,what if,what if,what if,what if,what if,what if,what if!

“MARINETTE!” Hands grab her shoulders. Marinette’s eyes won’t focus but Brethold is the one holding her.

“Shit! I think she having a panic attack!” Lilian says. She runs off to grab a water.

“Marinette I need you to focus on me okay,” Brethold asks in a soft voice. Marinette tries to focus her eyes. She is only able to see a blurry picture of Brethold tho.

“Marinette I’m going to need you to take several deep breathes,” Vivienne says. Marinette follows what Vivienne told her to do. While Marinette is focused on trying to see Brethold and breathe, Aurora is able to take Marinette phone out of her tightened hands. Lilian rushes back with the water.

“Drink.” Lilian hands the water over. Marinette takes a minute to finishes it, but when she's done her chest isn’t tightened anymore and she can clearly see Brethold. “Do you need more water?” Marinette turns towards Lilian and shakes her head.

“Nette I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have just assumed that you wanted to come! I-” Aurora was cut off my Vivienne hand touching her shoulder. No one knew that from Marinette bag the two kwamis watch with concern. Pollen and Trixx were able to feel Marinette’s panic. It had taken everything for Pollen to not rush out and comfort Marinette.

“Aurora we don’t need you also in a panic.” Aurora nods, her head drooped lower. “Marinette, if you’re feeling up to it, can you tell us what just happened please,” Vivienne asked not wanting to push Marinette.

“Please expect something from me.” Marinette barely whispers. If the group of teens weren’t already quiet they would not have heard, but they did.

Brethold first thought was one of pain. As the former soccer captain, he knew what it was like to have people put pressure on him… Brethold looks at Marinette, she trying to make her self smaller. His heart is breaking. He doesn’t understand. Who would make Marinette feel like this? He frowns.

Aurora was next. She felt nothing but sadness. Marinette sounded so defeated. The fact they didn’t want anything from her sent Marinette into a panic attack. Marinette seems so happy. Aurora closed her eyes and thought. When they did anything Marinette put almost everything on her plate. When Brethold mentioned that because of his leg brace he can’t find jeans that were comfortable. Marinette went and made him jeans. Vivienne’s aunt mentioned that they were trying to find a new pastry for the menu Marinette offered to help. Why didn’t Aurora see this sooner? She opens her eyes and looks at Marinette.

Lilian was mad. The only thing she could think of was that old school of Marinette’s. Lilian was the unofficial leader of the D-dorm building. Mostly because of her uncle being the headmaster. So when a new student was moving into the dorm, she went to her uncle. All he would say is that the student had a hard time at her prior school. Once she got to know Marinette she learned that she was akumatized. Marinette doesn’t like talking about it. Lilian starts to connect the dots. Her fingernails start to cut into her palm.

Vivienne was quiet. Looking at Marinette felt like a mirror. That feeling of needing a purpose. That feeling that if anything goes wrong it will be your fault. That feeling. Vivienne fought a shiver. She’s had this feeling since she was a child. But this feeling was from a cycle of abuse from her mother, and her grandmother. Vivienne held her breathe. She was only just able to start healing. Even then there are many days that she’s afraid to leave her room. Vivienne forced her self to breathe. Who did Marinette have to help her?

“Marinette.” Vivienne says. Not sure of what to say she just starts to speak. “I know this seems hard to… Believe but you don’t need to do anything.” Marinette goes to open her mouth but Vivienne doesn’t stop talking.“Aurora doesn’t need to bring anything, Lilian, Brethold, or me none of us have to bring anything… This is for all of us to be together. You don’t need to plan out the whole thing.” Vivienne voice trailed.

“But!” Brethold cuts in. “If it would make you more comfortable. We could make a list of thing for the each of us to bring. So you don’t have to… Panic. About what to bring because you’ll know what everyone will be bringing.” Brethold laid the plan out hoping that everyone would give.

“I’m bringing the machine, and the speakers.” Lilian says looking at Aurora.

“I’ll bring the pillows and chairs.” Aurora claps her hands.

“I’ll bring the drinks. Speaking of which text me what you’ll want.” Vivienne adds.

“I’ll cover the snacks, like popcorn and stuff… and first aid things.” Brethold whispers the last part fast. Marinette was quiet. What was she going to bring? They said everything else. She looks at them all then looks down. Her thoughts are racing.

“How about you bring some baked goods.” Vivienne breaks Marinette thoughts.

“But! But Brethold is bringing snacks already! And, and  I don-”

“I’ll bring savory snack and you bring sweet ones” Brethold smiles putting his hand comfortably on her shoulder. Marinette nods. She can do that. She can bake some holiday-inspired dishes. She feels the knots in her gut fade.

“I’m sorry for what happened,” Marinette says. Aurora goes to say something but Vivienne stops her. “At… At my old school, I was the class president. At first, I had my old friend as my vice president, it was fine. It was easy! It was fun.” Her voice brakes. “But then it started just being me. I would plan everything! I would have to bring everything! Not only that but I had to make the decorations! For anything, I planned, and more! Stuff I didn’t plan. Things I wasn’t even apart of.” Marinette’s voice was desperate. Each sentence sounded more painful than the last. “ It only got worse when they made me interact with the guy I had a crush on! No. Not made, forced! Forced me to interact with him. I couldn’t even talk to him without panicking!”Marinette bangs the table slightly.

The group of teens looks at each other. Marinette continued. “Marinette make me this! Marinette I need this done before to tomorrow! Marinette what happened to bringing cookies in? Marinette I need this dress, that I didn’t tell you about done by this weekend, AND I’m not paying for it!” Marinette was turning red. “It was only worse after she came back. After they turned their back on me. I would have to plan parties I didn’t even get to go to. And she would always make comments about how she could have done it better and faster. In turn I. Had. To.” Marinette went quiet. Tears fell from her eyes.

No one said anything. The kwamis in Marinette bag froze. Even though they have been with Marinette since her akumatizing they hadn’t heard anything about this. They knew that the former class wasn’t the best but this! Pollen thought about the interaction her former queen and the turtle boy had with Marinette. How could Marinette choose to forgive? Her lady was stronger then Pollen would have been. Trixx, however, was raging. His former fox Ayla. That was the only person in his head at this moment. He knew she was something. Never out of the box long enough to figure it out, but now! His jaw tightened.

Brethold just hugs Marinette. He couldn’t think of any words to say. Aurora joins in. Lilian and Vivienne share a look. Neither hug Marinette but they do hold her hands. The group silently comforts Marinette. Marinette takes it in. Marinette wasn’t sure why she went off. Maybe it was the season, maybe she was just tired of holding it in. Marinette lets out a silent breathe. She makes eye contact with Pollen and Trixx. She wants to laugh, Trixx looks like an angry cat. His ears are laid back and he’s baring his teeth.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” Marinette tightens her grip on the hands she holds. The others don’t move immediately, but they do slowly. “Thank you. Really thank you.” She rubs her eyes.

The tender moment was ruined by Marinette's phone ringing. Aurora forgot that she was holding Marinette’s phone, resulting in Marinette’s phone almost going flying. Grabbing her phone she answers.

“Hi, sweetie! How was class?” Her dad's cheerful tone causes Marinette to start laughing hard. The others start following suit. “Did I miss something?” Was all her dad could ask.

“You could say that,” Marinette says after she laughed all she could.

“Well as long as you sound happy.” She could hear her dad smile.

“Hey dad I need to talk to you about what we’re going for the holiday break later okay.”

“Sure can’t wait. OH! Nino and his mom came by and dropped off a Christmas present for you. Said that if you can’t come home then to mail it.” Marinette was confused. Nino and his family didn’t celebrate Christmas.

“Um, okay.”

“Tom the cookies smell burnt!” Marinette heard her mom call.

“NOT THE GINGERBREAD! Call you back love you!” Before Marinette could respond her dad hung up. The group was taken aback.

“NOT THE GINGERBREAD!” Lilian jokey yelled! “Your dad sounds like a treat Mari!”

“What! Is with all the yelling.” Vivienne aunt Odette rolled up.

“Sorry aunt Ode,” Vivienne says. “Things got… a little sour over here.” Odette raised an eyebrow. She just sighs and rolls away.

“I’m going to head to my room, okay,” Marinette says. “My head hurt and all the emotions made me tired.” She snorts.

“Do you need me to drive you?” Brethold asks.

“No, I think I’ll walk.”

“Be safe,” Aurora says.

“You too.”Marinette smiles as she gathers all her stuff to leave. After she leaves, Pollen pops her head up. Marinette just puts her hand in her bag and hold the kwamis. Hopefully, during the break, Marinette can rest… No evil Santa or amokized kids. No Chat and Beetle fights. Just her and her friends and family hanging out. Marinette wonders what Nino could have got her.

Quick note! I changed certain things about Marinette and her family. According to Google, most Chinese people in China don’t celebrate Christmas. So  I tried to include that. As for Tom’s parents. Her grandfather seemed racist. I live in the southern United States, he reminds me of a lot of the old people here. Also Google also says Moroccan people don’t celebrate Christmas either. The creator says Nino and his family are Moroccan (That's what the wiki says.) so I tried to add that as well. (I’m a white American. I tried to get info. If any of this is false please correct me!)

I’m hoping to get the Kwami post done soon.

[onceuponamirror]

Idk if you remember,but I sent you an ask a while back about skincare and you gave your recommendations but the ones you suggested were way too expensive for me (you recommended drunken monkey products) so I wasn’t able to buy them.(I still have your answer saved for someday when I can afford it though,lol.) So my question is,do you recommend any face packs or masks to get rid of acne/pimples and their scars? Please try to suggest affordable ones but anything you say will be valuable! Thank you!

hi, haha. sorry—my skin is SUPER SUPER sensitive and while i am lucky in that i don’t often get acne, if i try a product with too much scent or alcohol (which is in most cheaper ones) my whole face will turn into a mildly itchy tomato. so i’m kinda forced to stick with my more expensive faves because i’m very hesitant to try new products and cause an allergic reaction. so…i may not be the best person to ask about products!

i will say tho that drunk elephant sells sample bottles of almost all their products, usually in sets of 2 or 3, and they last fairly long. depending on how much you use it and the shelf life of the product (like vitamin d) it’s sometimes worth it to just get the minis. and they’re usually about $24 dollars for two or so. just a thought!

that being said, i will try to offer some alternatives. 

for pimples:

what i’d one day like to try: 

the dr. jartt micro blemish patch supposedly works really well and they’re $16 for six patches. they are kind of spiky (sounds scary, or i thought so anyway) and pierce the pimple to break it down. lady at sephora said it felt like a quick pinch, barely. if i next get a cystic pimple that just will not budge, i’ll try these. 

what i did try: 

the “peace out” acne patch for a pimple that would not. go. away. and i wouldn’t say that it helped at all. arguably, it kind of just created some discoloration, but i could’ve worn it too long. wouldn’t buy it again and don’t reach for them first if i get the signs of a pimple. 

for acne scars:

these are best treated with a retinol, and i’d say that this is one to invest in if you can, or at least research carefully. it’s an acid, so you want to buy something that is formulated to know what it’s doing. 

what i’d like to try: 

a brand i’ve heard good things about in terms of price and product: the ordinary! it’s ACTUALLY affordable—shockingly so—and i’ve seen some pretty good reviews for their products besides just serums for scars. when i next venture to sephora, i’m going to check these out, because the price is so goddamn low. i’m almost suspicious. but the reviews are fairly good! i have to do more research on this brand myself, but the gist i get is that it’s a cheap alternative to a brand like drunk elephant. worth looking into. and they have a whole line, so they might cover everything you’re looking for. 

what i tried: 

again, you can try the mini pack with drunk elephant on the fairly cheap—it’s the only retinol i’ve tried personally, and it’s meant to pair with a soothing facial oil, so the two kind of balance one another out. i wouldn’t say i noticed extreme results, but i was going for brightening, not scar relief. 

for general care:

i plug this every goddamn time i get asked about skincare, but badger is a small family company out of like vermont or maine, i think, and their face wash is AMAZING. it’s a cleansing oil, so it won’t strip your skin of it’s natural oils, rather add to them. you get a wonderful little glow from it and none of that stretchy skin, tingly feeling from more soap-based cleansers. and it’s CHEAP! like $18 a bottle that will last you possibly up to 6 months. (more like 3 for me, i use it morning and night) it just added a lot of moisture and glow and plump to my naturally dry and red-prone skin. highly recommend. 

the glossier skincare products are all very meh except for the galaxy mask pack—i do really enjoy the clay mask immediately followed by a long soothing moisturizer mask. i do 15-20 min of the clay and then like 40+ min of the moon mask. i’m not really 100% it does anything, like at all, but it’s a fun, nice thing to do after a long day at least. their serums i’m even less convinced do anything, but i have one i’m finishing out and…..i mean, it doesn’t hurt? generally i feel like glossier’s quality has shifted a bit though. 

(tangentially; the aztec clay brand is very hit or miss. it can cure all acne, or cause someone to have a horrible break out. cheap, generally beloved, but research it carefully! i will probably never try it) 

lastly—i don’t know what your insurance options are, but if you can, getting to a dermatologist and getting an actual RX cream for pimples could really help you. i have a spot cream that tends to work better than any trendy patch or expensive mask, but i only have to deal with occasional pimples, not cystic acne, so it may not help everyone. but it was cheap because of my insurance plan. if you have that option, i’d say look into it! 

[moontaeilll]

ALL ABOUT SM GLOBAL PACKAGE & NEO CITY: SEOUL EXPERIENCE

by twitter user @sugnsook​ // @yudotaeil 

Hello~ so i am not that good at explaining/vlogging or writing stuffs but in this thread? or blogpost or wherever u guys reading this, i will try to describe my experience as much as I can. Also for now, I am dividing this post, FAQ-style  according to several topics, and I will put a separate detailed post on my own Neo City: SEOUL experience. I hope this will help for u guys deciding to splurge a bit on concert/global package!

Disclaimer: In the past, I got a few ccs complaining about my fangirl related-expensive expenses, I just want to note earlier here that as the whole prior to the actual concert, I was a part time student & working 30+ hours a week, working every chances I get. It was also my last semester of undergrad studies & I have been wanting to attend NCT’s first ever concert since 2017 and been really saved up since then, so I consider the large expenses is pretty much a treat for myself.

Tl;dr: if you worked hard enough and really wanted to attend your faves event, just go for it, as it was really worth it.

— General

What is included in Global Package?

Concert ticket (depending on days u wanna go), a good quality hotel for your stay, return transportation to & from the concert venue - hotel, preorder access to official merchandises, NCT 127 theme global package-special merchandises, NCT 127 theme snack boxes (after the concert), One themed lunch, a half day tour with tour guide before the concert, special event (varies according to what concert) - for NCT127’s we got a photoshoot session with NCT127’s life-size standee in SM’s infamous practice room itself.

How much does Global Package cost?

All i can say first thing first is….it IS costly. The ones I am paying is $949USD for Superior Single (Course C) as shown below:

The difference between the prices & packages are it depends on which hotel they will locate you & your seating in the concert. They also have Course A, Course B & Course C which depends on the concert days you are attending. Because I am flying out to Seoul just for the purpose of concert so why not just buy the two days ticket? And yeah that is why I chose Course C.

When does the ticketing open?

Usually the global package ticketing will only open at least one month prior to the actual concert, just like the concert announcement itself.  Basically right after SM announce the concert, just be prepared as the ticketing will be shortly after it, right before the general ticketing starts. My advice is just, save up save up and save up as it is really well-known super costly.

How competitive the tickets are?

It is less competitive than general ticketing for sure, but pretty competitive in between ifans itself. When I bought mine, I initially planned for just economy ones but the ticket sold out WHEN i clicked “payment”. So, be quick or you might need to wait a bit more. I’m the type to be anxious if I dont have my ticket yet so I really want my ticketing matters to be settled up as soon as possible so-- when I figured out the economy package got sold out I quickly clicked on superior option - impulsively hehs.

During that ticketing, SM allows you to hold your payment up to 2 hours, as for twin package buyers can split payment. So if the tickets sold out, you might be able to get it after 2 hours. NOTE THAT: SM changed the policy from 2 hours to 30 mins now.

Eventually SM will release more packages and you CANNOT change your options once you have buy it. The packages will be available up until a week/or two before the concert, but the type of packages is really depends. I would say, Course C - Economy package sold out pretty quickly because that is what most people aiming for.  

*also, keep refreshing the page if you are buying at the exact ticketing open time! The ticketing for mine opened 3 mins before the actual time so yeah….

How is the payment made?

Paypal only. Just be sure you have signed up to smtown travel account, and link you cards or have paypal balance to get your payment completed smoothly. Your package will only be confirmed once you get the payment confirmation so, having a working payment method is important. SM’s cancellation policy is ridiculous so I recommend everyone who is interested to join GP to do a thorough research beforehand.

Can international fans join general ticketing?

Yes, but not really feasible, as Yes24 sites require verification, unless you have connections with korean verifications or buy from 3rd party. The downside of 3rd party is you might get even more expensive ticket collectively compared to what Global Package has offered.

How good the seats are?

It depends on your luck as you will only draw your ticket basically the day before the concert. The more you paid for the package, the better the seats. For standing you might get a better queue number and in korea concerts you strictly go in by queue number. I chose seating, so for luckily one of my seat was right next to extended stage, and another seat was on the other side but center view. Also i luckily got both sides of seating so I can enjoy the concert with both views.

It is possible to trade your ticket between other global package holders tho - bcs i saw people did this at my hotel lol but you cannot ask sm to change your ticket. The concert ticket will be written as “해외팬투어” (intl fans tour), instead of your name.

My seat on the first day

My seat on the second day, center view

My seat on the second day, side view

Is there a customer service page i can rely to?

Yes. If there is one thing i would applaud SMtown travel for, it is for their customer service. I used a lot of their “Q&A” page and they typically will reply you within one business day. If you ask on weekend, they will respond to you as quick as on Monday. So if you have any like literally, ANY question about your package, just send a question to them and they will reply personally as soon as they can. And it is in english.

— Logistics

After you have bought your package, SM will update the logistics & schedule 2 WEEKS before the concert. So don’t worry if they ghosted you out before that 2 weeks lol.

Technically, they will divide the hotels according to the package type (dlx/superior/econ), then they will divide you into bus numbers, according whether you are seating/standing. Also your schedule will depends on the bus number you get. And this is non-exchangeable, as they prepared everything according to the list that they grouped you out.

How is the hotel?

For me, i got located at Ibis Styles Ambassador Hotel in Gangnam. Because I got single package, i got the whole hotel room for myself, lol what a new experience, as for my solo travels i only go for budget hostels 🤣. The hotel location is only 15~20mins subway away from the venue, and it is walking distance from COEX. There are a bunch cafes & convenience store nearby so it is pretty easy to get something. The only thing is SM’s booth opens at 8pm, so because I arrived early, I just roamed around until the booth opens. At SM’s booth, it is where you pick up your preordered merchs, sm’s merchs and most importantly draw your tickets. Also I took the chance when gathering with fellow global package goers to trade anything i needed to exchange while everyone is there.

I dont know where to put this under, but for GP, We were given a greeting card from the boys, bunch of stickers, a letter set (with colour pencil), L-holders, bunch of posters and nct127’s moodlight. For the letter set, you can decorate and write fanletter to the members and hand it to your tour guide at the time they ask you. I bought some masking tape and stickers beforehand to decorate my letter, u can prepare it ahead too and transfer it to the letter they give as the time frame is really short.

Can I go to the concert by my own?

Yes you can~ Be sure to tell your tour guide so that they dont waste time waiting. You also have to tell them whether u want to go back to hotel with them or not, as that is when they will hand you the snack boxes. If you are not certain of travelling alone in Seoul, i recommend to travel by the bus they provide, because the tour guide will bring you right until the concert entrance. For me, I wanted to join fan-events and roam around the venue more, so I decided to go on my own. (Best thing about it was when you’re in a train with fellow NCTzens they just airdrop you a lot of nct related stuffs — including the selfies they airdropped at the venue!).

— Itinerary

How tight the schedules are?

It kinda not as tight as I thought? Except for pretty early schedule on the first day, also Maybe because I got a seating ticket so I dont go to venue after the tours right away (standing fans had to queue right away after the tour)

And for me, this was my schedule —

25th 8pm: pick up merchs, ticket etc from SM booth 26th 10am - gather at hotel lobby 10:30am - depart for lunch (at Bulgogi Brothers), it was NCT127-theme and they play nct’s songs! 11:50am - depart to COEX artium - u get 1 hr to roam around there, I chose to roam around smtown museum 1pm - depart to SM C&C building in cheongdam, for special event Around 2~ish - depart back to hotel

U get free time in between and gather back at 4:30pm to depart to concert venue as concert starts at 6. As concert ends around 8:30pm, they give you about 45mins~ to get back to the bus if you wanna go back with them. 27th Bus departs at around 2 pm if i recall, as concert starts at 4pm. I went out at 10am lols (also tell your tour guide!) and bus departs around 7:30pm after the concert. 28th - check out around 12pm.

Detailed itinerary will be updated in my experience post.

The best thing about the concert period was they give you discount on some SM-related stuffs. For example, they give 30% off (?) for beverages at sm cafe for ticket/GP holders, and also discounted smtown museum admission. There were also new merchs got released that time, and some other promotions going on.

Snack box after the concert!

Merchs I collected from kfans giveaways at the venue

The best part was NCTZens spreading out the fanproject - sing Paradise during Encore; using Airdrop. NEO indeed 😎

The amount of memes & stuffs being airdropped - lol 

— Budgeting

General budgeting for my trip:

Flight - around 1.6K MYR return trip with 20kg luggage & meal (AirAsia)

Hotel - i only went during my GP stay period so it was all inclusive (hotel + concert ticket) with that $949 USD

Other expenses (tmoney, food, additional merchs) - about $250 usd is enough for me for 4 days, considering I spent on buying cosmetics & merchs a lot. My own preordered merchs was separate amt too, it depends on what u do/willing to spend around that period.

— For Muslim Fans

Do they provide halal meals?

They dont provide halal meat, but you can request for vegetarian option or seafood. During lunch, I got vegetarian bibimbap set. And for the snack boxes, too bad SM provided ham/bacon in the sandwiches, which I am not confident in removing it so I decided to not eat, just eat the cookies. Also they offer late-night meals after the concert (separate pay), but I didnt opt for that one and only went to eat at nearby places.

Can I pray before the concert?

Yes~ as I mentioned earlier, there are a few hours gap before you depart to concert so you can pray at your hotel beforehand. Or if you dont mind, like I did as I went to venue early on the 2nd day, I went to pray at Olympic Park area itself, there are a lot of benches or u can walk a bit further to isolated places to pray. I just sat down at some bench and pray while sitting down.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

These are what I can think of, and as I said earlier I do have another separate post regarding my own NEO CITY: Seoul experience, and I will update under a thread. If you have any questions feel free to contact me via twitter (@sugnsook/@yudotaeil) or  curiouscat.me/6sungjae.  Also for neo city fancams/random pics about my trip, it will be updated eventually under the main thread where this entry is posted :) Hope it helps!

[artzjames]

Mafia au! Guilty Kiss's Prologue

So i was think more and more about my aqours mafia au while sketch some of it, so decided write some thoughts i don't forget so guess this is a how guilty kiss got started

Tsushima yoshiko the heir of the tsushima mafia, knowen as yohane on the streets, born into somewhat strong mafia family, The Tsushima was known for there black magic and stealth

The Tsushima finally got their respect of criminal world when they took Down the ohara

Now the Oharas are definitely a mafia superpower, there were known for their Big heists, their Strength, their markmanship with their guns,their skill and etc.

Now for such a small, slightly unexperienced mafia such as the Tushimas to take down a mafia such as the Ohara, that was especially suprise to the other bigger mafia

However the big the takedown of the Oharas was all thank to one Shiny gal from the mafia herself and a fallen angel. Mari and Yoshiko.

Ohara Mari, the heir to the Ohara mafia. At very young age she was a target, so of course she experienced her life being threatened multiple times over. For a young girl mari seen a lot with her eyes. And one day she wished she didn't have such good eyes,the day her mother was murdered by her father.

Mari wished she didn't here the screams and plead for help. She wished haven't seen her mother been stabed multiple times over.

Mark's mother supposedly was cheating on her father,is what he said to the rest of the maifia. Mari knew the trurth behind that lie, she knew her father was tired of her mother. Mari knew this too well. If she had to be honest she never seen her father do anything nice to her mother, just shout and screams and abuse her.

That's when Mari snapped, she couldn't take anymore, she wanted her father dead. She wanted him to burn in hell,and that stupid mafia to go down with him.

So when she came cross "yohane", as yoshiko would call herself, They became friends instantly, why? Because both wanted to take down the Oharas, their both party animal. And generally care for each other

Yohane would normally listen to Mari complains and give her advice. Mari would offen go see yoshiko trained and support her.

Now with these two heirs becoming friends, and with there burning desire to takedown the Oharas, they divided a grand plan. A absolute masterpiece if they do say so their selves.

The Plan took the "Shiny" approach,as Mari would like to call it. The Plan was to blow up the Huge mansionlike hotel that all the Oharas lives in,including Mari's father.

How will they will they be able to plant the bomb? How will they will be able to get every single Oharas in the hotal at the same?

That's where Mari comes in

You see they planned all this exactly two weeks from mari's 19th birthday,where her father is planning a huge party. Where every Ohara member have to attend,Mari suggest that part of course.

Within those two weeks, they got two work. Yoshiko give Mari a shipment of the biggest and most finest TNT she could get. Since Mari is like

"Go big or go home~!"

Mari even sneaked yoshiko couple times to place the bombs onto perfect places so the hotal can blow into bits and pieces.

1 Week before the The big day, Yoshiko was training not stop with you. Knowing if anything goes wrong the fault will be on her. She has to make sure this goes off with hitch.

Since after the big BANG, Mari and her both knows their with just few Oharas alive.

Now that's when yoshiko comes in use

Her and a small group of her mafia's best sharp shooters. Are going to kill any of the leftovers.

However yoshikeo herself will be the we be going into the rumbles to search for any survivors. They snipers are are only providing a cover. After kill ever survivor there ggoing to set fire and make fireworks go off.

That of course, was mari's idea.

But the thing is she must finished all these in 10 minutes, that's when Mari will pick her up

Which means she must swift and stealthy as the 'fallen angel' she was

A Day before the big day was honestly nervewercking for the two of them, Mari. Reason because she's about kill all of her family. If this didn't work out and failes this means automatic death from her father himself for betrayal and the want to kill the family. Those where heavily against the rules of the mafia. Especially the Oharas

For yoshiko, reasoning is because of the simple fact, if this fails then it means war. An a war that the tsushimas wasn't ready for.

The day of Mari's 19th Birthday and the big day

The Ohara's big mafia family fulled the hallways of the Ohara's hotels and headed the ball room where the main event is happening, literal. About 15 stickey bombs are under every five tiles, That was that fallen angel doing.

Mari looked liked goddesses in that white and purple dress. She counted make sure all of her family is here. Only having exactly 20 minutes to get them all here and escape before the bombs go off.

During these 20 minutes, Mari has been ask for the hand of marriage many times by men and women she didn't even know! These sickened Mari but keep up the act. Until her father bluntly says she getting married to someone from another mafia, someone she didn't even know! And her father didn't even tell her about any of this until now

Mari gave up the act, infuriated as ever. She dashed out of ballroom then out of the hotel. Calling up yoshiko as soon she gets far enough to move the plan forward

Of course yoshiko seem confused of why she has rush the plan forward. But Mari sounded hurt and almost sound like she crying. Now making yoshiko anger and simply agreed

As soon as yoshiko got there. She set up the positions and then BOOM.

The whole entire building collapse to the ground. Making it seems like an earthquake. All different types of color fire flew through the air.

If there was surivors, then Yohane doubts they will be any condition to fight

Yohane dash into the rumbles of the explosion with her katana and throwing knives in hand. About 5 mins into the search yohane found nothing other then dead. Ohara members, guest and some other people from different mafias

Seeing that where no surivors yohane start pour gallons of gasoline and start a fire. Yohane was interrupted by being hit in the back of the head by rock. Pretty small rock tho.

Mari's father somehow survive the explosion by being outside of the building searching for Mari.

Yohane immediately turned around and through one of her knives at Mari's father leg. Already having trouble walking, he simply fell to the ground and screams of pains left his body.

With precisely 3 mins left, yohane knew she has to end quick. But how can she do that after all he did to Mari. Well that's simple

She going to let him burn. Burn straight to the gates of hell

Yohane very quickly, stabs on her knives on his other legs and each of his arms so he can stay put.

After doing such she whispered something in mari's father's ear that made him shiver with fear

"Welcome to Hell"

After that she dashed out of there as fast as possible as the fire started spread quickly.

With a minute left yohane quickly light all the fireworks in one go which created another explosion with all times of flashing colors which definitely alerted the police.

But luckily by the time police got there Mari and yoshiko are already in a safe house far away from the hotal.

A YEAR OR TWO AFTER THAT THE OHARAS TAKE DOWN

Yoshiko became the new boss of the tsushima family after they found out she and Mari was the one to take down the Oharas

Mari, of course joined the tsushima quickly became a second in command alongside yoshiko. Thanks her to influences .

With those two as leader, The tsushimas quickly turn into strong and powerful mafia and has 6/10 of territories.

The Sakurachis, another big mafia came to into yoshiko to propose a alliance between the two mafia familes.

And as a poof of there Allegiance with the tsushimas. They offer their heir to yoshiko.

Sakurahi Riko, the most beautiful person on this planet. Aleast to a certain fallen angel.

Mari of course, here's about the proposal and sets up a meeting to meet this "riko" because she knows what it feels like to marry someone you don't know

After the meeting yoshiko has to admit, she's fond of riko

Yes, riko beautiful but that was only the beginning, Her personality made yoshiko Ascend up to the heavens, and her smile and laughed makes her feel like she's floating on air.

If there was ever a time yoshiko believed in love at first sight, it will definitely would be now.

And with only few words that escape Riko's lips, it made yoshiko feel like internal hellflame.

"I hope to see you soon, yocchan~"

Those simple little words meant the world to yoshiko, and will do anything to protect it

So of course, Yoshiko accepted the Sarukahi's proposal. In hopes of being with riko

Mari, having her showmanship precedes her. Throws a huge gala for both mafias to celebrate there newfound alliance, but especially for yoshiko to get see riko again. Mari would often tease yoshiko about this just to see her embarrass, acting like a big sister would to yoshiko. They are in the same mafia after all

The gala so far was going off without a hitch. Guest having a time of there lives, smiles,laughter, drunks singing song they don't know the words two, people dancing on the dance floor.

It was a amazing night in general, until a fallen angel gone made it a little bit more special.

When yohane was alone with riko on the dance floor, dancing to slow music. She got on one knee and asked a question no one thought would be asked on a night such as this

"Riko Sakurahi if you may, Allow me to court you?"

Riko simply smiled and took yohane's hand and gave yohane feeling never felt before

"Yes. Yoshiko tsushima you may court me"

Thus Creating the Guilty Kiss mafia.

Well shit, there you go now you know how guilty kiss came two be. Now all I have to do the prologue for Cyaron then we will get going

[southside-crybabby]

Find yourself 4

An: not edited will be soon

4/10 parts this will get a bit better but it’s all fluff nothing serious . Ready for part 5! Comment and reply ! I ant some imagines ? Message me !

Let’s go

It has been two full days since the video addressing rumours went live. The twins had been silent on Twitter besides the few likes here and there and y/n post poned her video for the week. She didn’t know what to post or where to even start ,but when she woke up to Grayson flopping on her bed Thursday morning she shotup and shielded her chest groggily “what !? What’s wrong ?” She said in a shock with a sigh realizing it was nothing. Grayson laughed as he pulled at her messy braid “we’re going to the wearhouse ... and you’re going to film “ he said standing up and grabbing her makeup bag from her desk and her laptop in the other hand “come on Ethan’s already up its 9:45” she knew he was right about filming but it didn’t help she didn’t want to film , she didn’t want to start this fake relationship just to save her reputation ... all their reputations .

Y/n watched as he walked out of her room giving her no time to protest. Standing she headed to her closet and pulled on her skinny jeans with rips and her bra, she looked over her appearance and groaned at her puffy eyes ,letting her braidout taming it a bit she pulled it half up on top of her head and nodded at the mirror , at least her hair wasnt wild roday .Walking out of her room she went directly across the hall into Ethan’s room where he laid on his stomach “and you ruined it cause your naked “ he yelled as he looked at the playback of the Snapchat he had taken before posting it any way thinking it was funny how she scurried out of frame .Y/n smirked while holding up the middle finger as she headed to his closet before coming out in one of his shirts “that’s Grayson’s “ he commented as she groaned and grabbed one from the bed “also Grayson “ he laughed as she stood with her hands on her hips looking at the nicki minage too he was wearing “hand it over “ she ordered peeling off the pink shirt she had on and motioning for him to trade Ethan laughed but obliged pulling off his merch shirt. y/n bit her lip as his head was down but shook the thoughts in her head away as he looked at her with his raises brow “what?” He mumbled as they traded shirts . After pulling the long sleeve on She tied the side and looked at him with a smile “let’s go “ she said skipping out of his room unaware that Ethan was a blushing mess seeing her in his clothes

————

On the way to the wearhouse they all decided that they had to go out in public drop a little more for the fans. Y/n and Ethan stood beside each other as Grayson snap chatted them “guys it’s so hot and y/n won’t stop complaining but look at her all black outfit “ he yelled as y/n rolled her eyes at him making a face “you look good tho“ Ethan chimes in as Grayson finishes the video . They all walked around the small shopping area, joking and having small talk before heading into a Starbucks .the line was kind of long as y/n and Grayson stood waiting ,Ethan gone to find a bathroom “so how are you holding up “ he asked as she perched her sunglasses on her head with a shrug “I mean ... all we really have done is switch clothing and called each other cute I can’t complain “ she laughed as she swayed onher heels “we will see in a few days “ she smirked as Grayson rolled his eyes “you’re gonna have to address him as your boyfriend in public “ he chuckled “kinda embarrassing “ he teased .

The two had hardly moved when y/n looked at her Instagram and frowned as she showed Grayson the photos of them tagged just standing in line “these girls are quick “ she whispered as he nodded and shot a text to Ethan “of course this is when he chooses to take five years “ as if on cue Ethan came to meet then in line as he slipped his phone in his pocket and stood behind them looking around assessing the people before he pulled y/n ‘s hair lightly and smirked as she swatted his hand not catching on to what was happening thinking he was just annoying her but as he did it again this time he caught her hand and turned her to him making a face “you’re so oblivious “ he chuckled as he stared at her and moved in front of her his hand holding hers for a few seconds more before letting go and moving to the barista ordering the threes drinks . As they moved to wait for the drinks to be made Grayson left to go wait in the car complaining about waiting and it being crowded so he was going to pull the car around. Leaving y/n and Ethan alone .y/n sat on the only free bar stool looking at the girls obviously snap chatting the two or something as she smiled and reached out to Ethan who stood with his back to her pulling His shoulders so his back hit her chest, stood between her legs and y/n looked at his phone laughing at a meme he was reading, she rested her chin on his shoulder as he butted her head with his temple lightly “they’re still taking pictures “ she whispered as he turned to look past them out the window with a nod he put his free hand up and rubbed the back of her head . Y/n wrapped her arms around him and smiled as they stayed silent for a few moments before his name was called and they got their drinks.

______

Walking out of the Starbucks proved to be a difficult task as they were approached for a very few photo ops Ethan of course the centre of attention as y/n held the tray of drinks and waited , after 15 mins if chatting Ethan smiled “okay guys we gotta go ...y/n/n “ he called as she made her way into the crowd she said a few heys and waved as Ethan grabbed her waving hand into his and intertwined his fingers in hers “bye “ he said one last time and guided them out the door

“Jesus took long enough “Grayson groaned as he grabbed his latte and Ethan laughed “well maybe don’t order a hot drink next time he shot back “ as Grayson started driving and looked at y/n in the mirror noticing the look of fear on his friends face “Ethan take her phone before she panics “ he yelled out as Ethan tried to grab the phone “y/n come on hand it over “ he groaned as she held her hand away “no I’ll stop looking !” She yelled as Ethan undid his belt and awkwardly climbed in the back almost causing Grayson to swerve but he got the phone and cheered as he shoved it in his jeans pocket with a smirk and did up his own belt in the back now with a smirk “you don’t get it back until you film for at least an hour “

——-

At the wear house y/n applied her makeup and sat for a moment just thinking what to do while the twins set up the lights and her backdrop she had there; a brick wall and her little white couch . She came out applying her lipstick as she looked around “guys I don’t even know what we are filming “ she said as Grayson smirked and held up his phone and Ethan his lap top with her first vine open on grays and her twitter on Ethan’s she went wide eyed “no ... “ she groaned as Grayson laughed “oh yes try not to cringe “ he yelled in unison with Ethan . Y/n shook her head as she moved to the couch “you guys have to play too “ Ethan shook his head and laughed “nope you are cringe enough for the three of us “ y/n shoved him as she cantered her self “fine “

—————

(From the viewers perspective)

Y/n cleared her throat as she sat on the couch and “hey ...” she laughed and shook her head “sorry again “ she said and rubbed her head “ hey babes ! It’s me” she yelled and waved “and today we are doing the worst thing ...I have avoided for months but some annoying fan boys are making me “ she shot as she laughed “so to cut it short here they are ...Grayson “ she snapped as he appeared on the couch and held up the peace sign before doing his little hand shake with y/n “and Ethan “ she snapped but he didn’t show up “and Ethan she tried again eyeing Grayson who just shrugged confused and nothing “Ethan !” She yelled as he popped up from behind the couch and pecked her cheek before hopping the back. Y/n rolled her eyes as Grayson explained that y/n had to watch vines and video edits without cringing and if she did the twins made her a delicious smoothie to drink as punishment “okay but can I get like a few chances “she pouted as the boys looked at each other and nodded “3 tried “ they said together as the rounds staters “the easy stuff “ Grayson said with a grin and played a vine that y/n rolled her eyes . She lasted theee vines before she broke and cringed into the couch “nooo turn it off I’m singing “ she yelled and threw the phone “y/n!” Grayson yelled as she laughed “my turn ... edits “ Ethan chimes in as he played the first video of her yelling and she cringed theee times “four in one video “he said pumping the air as she groaned Ethan pulled up the last one of her and Grayson and she cringed right into Ethan’s chest as he held her head and Grayson yelled “brooooooo “ he groaned “no it’s never gonna happen “ Ethan wheezed as y/n frowned “my shoulders ate my ears I need to leave “ she yelled as she sat back and pouted .

Grayson grinned at the camera as did Ethan and y/n frowned “so y/n is a loser “ gray chuckled “and that means she has to drink the smoothie “

Cutting to the area infront of the ramp they all stood at the folding table with a cup of muck “what’s in it she frowned “anchovies , peanut butter . Vinaigrette, hot sauce , jalapeños, fish oil , tomato paste, m&ms , paprika and kale “ Grayson smiled “oh and some ghost peppers of course and soy milk “ Ethan chimes in as he crossed his arms and the girl frowned deeper “guys ... I’m going to throw up “ she said seriously uncomfortable and shook her head “and then die “ she mumbled “do it or I post the singing video of you on my instagram and Ethan posts the screen shots on his snap of your morning face “ Grayson said as he only option. The girl went wide eyed and took the cup as Grayson held a blog camera and the girl chugged a bit before gulping for air and dry heaving “oh my god “ she yelled and stuck out her tongue “it’s so spicy “ she yelled but drank more as the boys wheezing in laughter echoing on the walls caused them to shake and struggled to record . She got half way threw but shook her head “get me the bin “ she yelled as she gagged and a bunch of smoothie dropped on her tank top clad chest as Ethan placed the bin in front of her and she threw up a bit as she shook her head and did it again. She finished as she stood but tears formed in her eyes as Grayson blog turned to himself “oh no ... y/n is crying “ he said ashamed of the dare . Y/n sniffles as she rubbed her neck “this is burning my skin “ she whined as tears fell and Ethan rushed over with a cloth “it’s okay “ he mumbled and pushed her hair back as she then vomited in the bucket again “y/n nooo “ he whined as she looked down. Grayson continued to film as Ethan rubbed her back and pulled her into his chest as she cried quietly in discomfort and kissed her head a few times “stop crying it’s okay “ he said and looked at his brother “gray ! Stop filming !” He yelled and flicked some muck at him seriously as he shielded y/n infronr of him

after a cut y/n was still r d and puffy as Grayson laughed and Ethan pecked her temple “now that we have broke y/n “ he stated as she waved “I’m never doing a dolan dare again “ she whined as Ethan pulled her into his chest “that was the cringe challenge feature the Dolan twins “ grays shot up the hang ten sign as did Ethan y/n held up hers as her outro song played “come back next Wednesday when I destroy the twins “ she grinned as she fell back into to the couch “ baby’s out “ they yelled .

———-

Y/n rinsed her moth out again for the third time as she looked at Ethan and Grayson frowned “can you guys post on Instagram stories that you’re in my video “ she asked as Grayson grinned “I mean I did get you to throw up so I guess “ and walked over to the Couch and crouched by y/n with Ethan and snapped a picture of them all looking tired and posted . Y/n held her phone out after “guys I’m in the ware house go watch the new video where I cringe “ she yelled as Ethan waved “he is in it “ Grayson held the hang ten sign “so is he “ she laughed as Ethan showed her neck pulling at her shirt “she gets burnt and cries “ he yelled and and put his cheek against hers “watch it so she isn’t a lil bitch anymore “ he laughed

Ethan was last and he was going big he walked around and teased with a. Few photos of y/n and Grayson skateboring before he got Grayson to film him skateboarding “check out y/na video guys ... it’s great because I’m in it “ he grinned as he stopped beside the sitting y/n “she watches her cringe vines “ he laughs as he watches her cringe and Grayson motions to wrap it up . With that Ethan grins “but we still like her “ he laughs and leans in pecking her on the lips leaving y/n and gray in shock.

[mytennisdiary]

US Open 2021 - Day 10

Bencic vs Raducanu

Nervy start from Emma, not moving her feet, making a lot of errors. Did start serving a bit better in the 3rd game, but Bencic’s return looks like it’s going to put a lot of pressure on her 2nd serve. Bencic making more errors now and not serving well, a double fault and a lot of missed first serves let Raducanu break back, 3-3. Emma painting some lines and coming up with some strong 2nd serves, Bencic a bit frustrated, 4-3. Raducanu is now winning the long rallies, finding the forehand down the line, benefited from a short ball that bencic couldn’t quite get up to in time to hit effectively and had an easy pass to break, 5-3. Emma is serving well now and getting short replies which she’s attacking, she’s stopped making any errors. Takes the first set 6-3. Belinda is not looking super confident, not making enough first serves. Another point where she stayed at home in the backhand corner and was able to get a passing shot. Again though, just like yesterday, the teenager just gets to every ball and doesn’t miss. Emma gets out of a 15-40, bencic just not getting enough on her returns to stop her from getting on offense. Bencic finally making some first serves, maybe the sun not bothering her as much now. No first serves this game and Bencic’s limited movement, combined with her inability to come into net, is really hurting her, making it harder to win points, double faults to give Emma the break in the 2nd. Bencic was on the brink, down 30-40 at 2-3 after a double fault, totally losing her composure, making a bunch of errors, she finally came up with some points where she was able to get into the net. Needs to continue to use power through the center of the court rather than trying to run her sideline to sideline. Had 0-30 after a good return and a double fault, then she made 4 straight errors and gave the game away. Another example of a 40-30 serve game for Emma that she escapes without a deuce. Clutch service game down 15-30 to force Emma to serve it out. Again, 0-30, let her back into the service game with a missed return and then a terrible short one, then Emma hit a great serve and Bencic was too nervy to dictate on match point. The Raducanu wide serve is such a weapon. Now, she’s become the youngest ever men or women to reach the semis as a qualifier.

Zverev vs Harris

Both guys serving very well to start the first set, only real opportunity was at 2-3 when Zverev had a couple of chances at 15-40, Harris found a nice inside out forehand and followed it into the net. Harris gets the break at 3-4 with an awesome return winner, running around the backhand nicely, can hit the inside forehand in either direction, but likes to use the inside in forehand to set up a second one inside out or down the line. Lloyd tried to serve it out, but made a couple early errors including a double fault, then Zverev locked in and played some long points to get the break back. Harris came up with an awesome cross-court backhand pass to prevent himself from going down 0-30 and stop the bleeding, 6-5. Zverev serving 80% plus, but Harris doing a good job of getting the first serve returns back in play. Zverev did some agro early in the breaker about not liking what they were showing on the big screen, but then he did it again at 6-5 when Harris was serving for the set, it caused a big delay, Harris missed his next 2 first serves, and a couple mishits later Zverev had the set. That was some real nonsense from Zverev, really, really lame. Little bit of levity, Harris threw his water bottle in frustration after losing the tiebreak and it got all over the court. Both players, the ball kids, and the chair were all down there with towels cleaning it up. Zverev hit some great returns and played some well constructed points before Harris threw in a poor drop shot to give away the break, 2-0. Zverev looks to be feeling something in his back. Zverev looks in total control right now, hitting massive groundstrokes. James Blake and Darren think that the advances in string technology have been the biggest change in tennis in the last 20 years and particularly have allowed for so many players who hit big down the line to be so dominant, says it was too risky with the older strings. Both players are vulnerable on the 2nd serve, particularly Harris, but Zverev too. Serving for the 2nd set, Zverev, who was making 78% of his first serves, missed 5 straight first serves. He made errors on the first 2 points, but then Harris made some inexplicably bad errors on the next 3, letting Zverev get a first serve in and take the set. Harris was barely making errors and now they’re coming thick and fast, 0-40, and the break. Zverev is totally rolling now and Harris has lost it, looking like a potential bagel set. Harris was down 0-4 0-30 on serve and now has found his forehand again, looks like he’s abut to get it back to 4-3. Zverev came up with some clutch serving to hold at 4-3, Harris really applying pressure, awesome forehands. Zverev got really negative body language wise in the middle of the set for no reason and it helped Lloyd.

Pliskova vs Sakkari

Sakkari off to a strong start, putting pressure on Pliskova with deep returns and hard hitting through the middle of the court, producing errors and short balls, gets the break, 1-2. Pliskova gets back on track a bit, but the 1st serve percentage is below 50%. Sakkari is standing a bit back to return the serve, seems to be effective since she’s making good returns and putting pressure on Karolina to go for more, 2-3. Sakkari is playing aggressive without making errors, Pliskova has more errors than winners, but she battled back from 15-30 down on her serve to force Sakkari to try to serve out the set. Sakkari’s crosscourt backhand looks beautiful, while it’s been Pliskova’s backhand that’s been error prone. Sakkari has now won 20 straight points on serve, including 3 more backhand errors from Pliskova, to close out the set. Big game for Pliskova to start the 2nd set, save two break points which Sakkari made errors on and then a dramatic point where she got to a drop shot and won the point after Sakari failed to do enough with a short pass. The streak ends at 22 straight service points. Pliskova is just not getting any returns in play, she did back up at one point, but she needs to do more to just get balls in play. At 3-3, Pliskova was able to save a break point but on the 2nd she hit a short forehand into the net. The way Sakkari’s service games are going, turning this match around seems like a epic undertaking. Incredible play from Sakkari, it does feel like it would be very different against a player who doesn’t need to look to end the point so early. But, it’s impressive that after showing some nerves and failing to convert 2 match points, including one where she went for a drop shot really early in the point, that she pulled through, won a long rally, and then hit an awesome down the line backhand winner. 6-4 6-4

Djokovic vs Berrettini

Nervy first game for Novak, couple of double faults and some forehand errors, Mateo had a break point but made a few sloppy errors himself. Pretty much every service game for both players has been complicated. Berrettini just isn’t handling the 2nd serve return as well as he could be and he’s not able to produce enough when Djokovic makes him hit a forehand on the run. However, he’s serving an excellent percentage, hitting deep, and moving into the court effectively. Extremely long, 20 point game on Berrettini’s serve at 2-3, saved 2 break points with massive serving. Berrettini had an excellent opportunity for a break point and tugged the short forehand wide. 40% first serves unreturned for Berrettini so far. Berrettini just can’t do any damage with the 2 handed backhand and Novak is starting to effectively attack it, a little sloppy with the slice too. Novak played a few poor 2nd serve returns in a game where Mateo missed a lot of 1st serves, now 5-5. Beautiful 2 hander mateo got on the line, jammed Novka, and then came up with an awesome running forehand pass cross court to break, 6-5. Berrettini got up 40-0, really handling the on the run forehand much better, Novak hit a great return and then Berrettini made a couple of errors, but then he recovered with a huge ace and then Novak threw in another forehand error to lose the set. Fairly comfortably holds for Djokovic to start the set, slight let down in intensity, but no break chances for either yet. Novak through in a drop shot for the first time, see if he can wear Berrettini down. Berrettini lost some early points with some unsuccessful approaches, then Berrettini missed a pass and Novak came up with an incredible backhand return on a 131 serve to get the break and then served really well to back it up at love. Berrettini’s first serve percentage has really dropped off, as has his intensity, throwing in errors and might be looking at a quick set. Big game from a mental standpoint, down 1-4, Berrettini got out of a 0-40 hole and then saved 2 more, but Novak is really making him work hard, 10 min game. Novak is really serving well tho, not as many returns in play as last set. Djokovic has just dug in, barely missing, and Berrettini isn’t having the same kind of success in rallies he did in the 1st, Novak breaks at 5-2 to get the set. Novak’s level has just gone through the roof, he’s getting so many more returns in play, hitting with incredible depth, moving unbelievably, and Berrettini looks totally deflated, making errors everywhere. Gets the break to start the 3rd. They’re closing the roof in anticipation of rain, playing while closing the roof. I think probably the most important thing that the commentators aren’t even mentioning at all is how good Novak’s serve has become since the beginning of the 2nd. Berrettini can’t get into these games at all compared to the 1st when he was in almost every one. Djokovic is winning almost 70% of his 2nd serve points, it’s so deflating for Mateo. Djokovic hit a few groundstrokes in the last game that are harder than anything he’s hit in the match so far, Mateo had to come up with so many big serves, including 4 aces, to get out of the game alive, 4-2. Berrettini finally got into a game on Novak’s serve, he got returns in play deep enough and didn’t make errors and Novak’s level slipped just a little bit with a sloppy error, but Berrettini’s slice backhand let him down on breakpoint and then again on game point when he couldn’t keep it deep and low enough to keep Novak at bay. Djokovic just picking on the backhand now, 5-2. Novak immediately turns around and gets him to 0-40 with more great returns and breaks again to take the set. Breaks immediately in the 4th set, Berrettini fights to get a hold. Novak getting frustrated with the crowd but uses that to get even more intense. Berrettini’s lack of ability to attack with the backhand, notably down the line is always going to put him at a disadvantage in a match like this. It is a bit concerning the way he faded after the first set, whether that was physical or mental is hard to say. Djokovic’s serve is just impeccable at this point, actually probably better than Berrettini’s because of consistency and placement.

[daddyconfessions]

daddy’s journal: 2/10/16

Last week was rough. Monday two of the big guys came in and informed me of an impending layoff then gave me the list. Long list.  One of them was my Cuban cigar hookup. Every time he visited our Middle East office he’d come back with a box of Cohibas. He charged me $600 but I knew half of that was a markup. Everybody’s got their hustle. Still it’s worth it.

All of the guys on the list I’m friends with too. So I had to laugh and talk with them throughout the day, pretending to be oblivious to their impending doom. Sometimes I hate corporate America. I did ask about my plug about the Cohibas. He said by month’s end…too late. By day’s end I got news that Friday would be the big day for kills. I felt like shit all day and as I went home, I felt even worse. A glass of red wine later that night didn’t help much.

The next day I met up with Firecracker.  I was looking forward to it. The week before she had been on her cycle. Poor thing...she caught hell too. When she got in the room she tried to catch up but I started taking her clothes off. I pushed her onto the bed and went down her. I ate the kitty like it was my first time. “Baby….baby….” she was saying. Couldn’t make out what it was really. My face was buried between her legs. Her thighs were covering my ears. I made her cum twice before I stopped. As I stood up to make my grand entrance I realized I hadn’t even gotten undressed. I laughed at myself.

I quickly pulled off my clothes while she looked on with glazed eyes. I put on the hat, then parted the pink sea like I was Moses. I could feel her squirming under me and realized I might be going too hard. So I let up a bit. She got into then. Her body moved in sync with mine, each time I went deep inside. Before I knew it I came and collapsed on her. A lot quicker then I usually do. I kissed her on her jaw and neck and then she said, “Kiss me.” That was odd for her. So our lips locked for a moment before I stopped and rolled off next to her. We lay there quiet for a good minute when she asked, “What if I want more?” I was like

She’s NEVER asked for a second round. Ever. The next 10 minutes are a disaster though. I got back hard, managed to give her a good show, but I went limp half way through. So we gave up. I apologized and she was ok with it. She’s never wanted it more than once s it caught me off guard. Next time I’ll be ready. Then I realized while we had been at it, she was about to cum but I had beat her to the finish line. Still it was all odd to me.

Wednesday was no better. Lots of pretending going on. 2 of the guys on the kill list came into my office. We laughed and joked all day. Went to lunch with one.  God I felt like shit. By the end of the day they started letting half of them go. I thought it was going to be Friday. But someone in upper mgmt. wanted to get it over with.

My assistant is a college student and works part time. I decided to give her the week off, hide her from the big boys. Out of sight out of mind. I’m sure if they saw her they would have told me to get rid of her.

A couple of days later I was in the room with Firecracker. I was determined to exact my retribution for the limp fiasco. But I forgot to pace myself. Half way through I had to stop. All out of breath. She asked me if I was tired and needed to rest but I told her I wanted her to cum. “I’ve already came 5 times baby,” she said, with a half chuckle. Like fool get up. “I can’t do any more ,” she said. Tapped out. I took it to the finish line and called it a day.

I’m good now with Firecracker. Not quite the love sick puppy as before. I put things in perspective and got back in touch with why I do this and what I want to experience. I can confidently say, “I’m good.”

The weekend hit and the fam was gone to some kid functions. I’m alone Saturday so I decided to check out a 40th birthday party for a good friend. Nothing fantastical happened there. By midnight I was on my way home. I haven’t been out on a Saturday in almost a year. So I couldn’t just go home. Who knows when I would be out again?

I decided to hit the strip club. I forgot what its like to be out on a Saturday night. I must have had 4 street races on the way there. Young punks. Shit to prove. I make a mental note to run the ride by Billy Ray’s shop tho. Time for some upgrades.

The clubs packed. Titties and ass everywhere. “I’ve got to get out more often on Saturday,” I mumble to myself. Most of the girls are in the back of the club given all kinds of table dances. I grab a beer from the bar and then flop down at a nearby table. I resigned to leave once the  beer was gone since none of these chicks were looking particularly good to me tonight.

I had a couple of sips of beer left when my favorite song comes on. Erotic city by Prince. “Kimberly” gets on stage. OMG. Good looking girl dancing to my favorite song? Must be a sign from the sugar gods. I patiently wait through her set, stretching those last two sips out for 15 minutes. It took her another 5 min to come out the back after her 3 songs. I watched as she went from guy to guy. Flopping down in their laps, talking to them for a few minutes before getting up and going to the next. Either these guys want something for free or she’s all about that champagne love. I watch this cycle go on for about 15 minutes. Damn if I didn’t stretch out the last remnants of beer in the bottle. Finally she walks past my chair and I grab her arm. She immediately flops down on me and lays her head back on my shoulder.

“Hey baby,” she says. I can smell the mix of perfume and her natural scent. Kind of sweet like. Musk. We chit for a second before she says, “You want to spend some time with me or you want to get a dance?” Not sure what that means in stripper lingo. So I say, “I want both.” So she starts chatting me up, little bs conversation about nothing. She’s kissed me several times and by the time the next song comes on I was hard. “I think I’m ready for a table dance,” I tell her.

She took me by the hand and led me to the table dance area. As I walked in I realized why I hadn’t seen that many girls. All the pretty ones were in this section doing all kinds of acrobatic feats and what not. We find a table and I sit down. Kimberly puts her drink down and other belongings and ask if I want to wait until the next song. I told her yes. She took another sip of the drink and starts dancing anyway. Ass and titties in my face. Even stood up on the couch with my head between her legs and her pussy less than an inch from my mouth and nose. I could smell her natural smell again. That kitty was sweaty too. Gotta love strippers. Hard workers.

As the song drew to an end I told her she was making me want some champagne love. She stopped suddenly and straddled me. She put her mouth to my ear and we discussed a price. After the negotiations were done she stood up and put back on her top. She told me I owed her for one dance and then we could go. I pulled out a $20 and handed it over. I could have sworn it was 2 songs, but fuck it. She grabbed my hand again and led me towards the bar. She tells this middle age chick I want the champagne room. “Great I’ll take care of it,” mama said. I cough up the champagne room fee and hand it to her. Then Kimberly leads me to the champagne room.

The room is well lit. I’m nervous. We grab a seat in the far corner. I sit down as Kimberly rearranges the chairs and tables to barricade us in. Then she sits next to me. “I need $20 to tip my manager to not let anyone back her. I need another $20 to tip the waitress.” Damn. Tip drill.  I pull out the cash, hand it over, and she disappears. She comes back and pulls off her shoes and flop down beside me. All comfy cozy now. Then the waitress comes with two glasses and champagne. She pops the bottle and pours us both a glass. “You guys need anything else?” the old chick asked. “No,” I say.

We pick up the glass and click’em. “Cheers.”  We talk a bit longer and then Kimberly kills her drink. “Pull your pants down babe,” she tells me. I look around in fear by the lights. No sooner had I thought about it they went dim. I drop my pants down to my knees. Kimberly goes in her purse and pulls out a condom. She tears it out the pack, puts it in her mouth and goes down on me. She gets it half on and then tries to use her fingers to get it further down. “Ouch,” I yell. Her nails are too long and the rubbers too tight. “Damn you got a big dick,” she tells me. She tries to pull it down and ends up breaking the rubber. We pull it off and she gets another, she gets it on again and I finish putting it on at this time. While I’m getting it on she pours more champagne and takes one more to the head. “You ready baby?” she asks. “Yes!”

She’s got some pretty good knowledge despite the condom. Had me rock hard despite the plastic. Or was it because I was just hot? Before I knew it she had climbed on top and was trying to ride. She was doing ok, but needed some help. I grabbed her by her waist and guided her up and down. When she had opened up for me, I got rough pounding her up and down on me. “Fuck,” she was saying. “Damn…..You’re big babe.” She put her hands on my chest and stops me. I looked over the back of the couch. Had someone come in? “You want to do doggie?” she asked.

We switch. She’ got down on the couch. She grabs me and guides me into the kitty. Now I’m standing up behind her in full site of the door. Fuck it. YOLO. I go to work. No time to waste. I’m turned up now. I wasn’t my usual sensitive lover self. I was just trying to bust so I went hard on her. “God….Oh shit,” she said. Suddenly she looked back at me as if she were possessed, her eyes locked with mine and narrowed.  “You’re fucking me…” she growled.  Why Yes. Yes I am. And I went on fucking her, wearing that little kitty out.

“Baby,” she panted. “You gotta hurry up.” I can’t come quick often and I was in rare form. I went for another minute before I came. Hard. When I was done, I collapsed in the chair beside her. She got off her knees and sat beside me and let out a long breath. We both reached for our glasses simultaneously and laughed at ourselves. We clicked them one more time and took a sip.

God I hope the local boys weren’t in the building. If so they had me on all kinds evidence. Sitting there with my pants around my knees, her naked. Kim pulled off the condom and disposed of it. Then handed me some napkins to clean up. We both got dressed and then sat back down to enjoy another glass.

“I gotta go babe,” she told me. I knew the game. It was another hour left before the club closed. Lots of $$$ to be made.

Before we walked out we exchanged numbers. She was cool meeting outside the club. Apparently I had “proven” myself. We walked out and Kim left me on the floor as she disappeared in the back. I sat down and finished off my glass of wine. As I got up to leave the old waitress was back. She had been coming to check on me I guess. We were so close we could have kissed. Had to have been intentional.

“How are you,” she asked. I told her I was fine. “Were you needing anything else sugar?” Ironic name. I told her yes and pulled out my wad and giving her a tip. “That’s for you.” She smiled and gave me the biggest hug ever. She needed to be careful though. Just because it was a bunch of 20 somethings walking around didn’t’ mean I wouldn’t show her what I was all about. I grinned and left.

Not a bad end to a rough week I’d say. (excuse any typos)

[skiasurveys]

1. What’s your favorite position and why? I like doggy style, or like even flat doggy, it feels nice and rougher, and I also enjoy missionary even tho thats boring.

2. How did you lose your virginity? If you’re still a virgin, is there any specific reason? how? uh he put his dick in me

3. If you could have sex with any porn star or model, who would it be? n/a

4. What’s one thing in particular that makes you want to tear off your lover’s clothes? i dont know. him kissing my neck and teasing me

5. Five turn ons.

neck kissing

strong arms

when connor touches my thighs

dirty talk

connor

6. Five turn offs.

choking

hurting me

being very rough with me

smell

being quiet 

7. Have you had any embarrassing sexual experiences? one time we were banging and during I had gotten my period..yeah. awkward.

8. Do you have a fetish? not really

9. Have you experimented with anyone of the same sex? no

10. What’s “out of bounds” for you during sex? choking me 

11. What’s the best sexual unsolicited advice you can give? Make sure youre ready and tell them what YOU like.

12. Hickies - get ‘em or give ‘em? both

13. Do you like giving head? yeah

14. Do you like getting head? yea

15. What’s one thing you look for in a partner? humor 

16. How many partners have you had? 1.

17. What’s your sexual orientation? straight 

18. If you’re bi/pansexual, what gender do you tend to prefer? N/A

19. Describe the best sex you’ve ever had.

we were at his house and we were having sex but he was being so sensual and stuff, and he like looked at me and was like I love you and it was just rly nice

20. Describe the worst sex you’ve ever had. the only bad times are when he cums rly quick lOL

21. Have you ever had a funny sexual experience? What was it? not rly

22. Are you okay with rough sex? depends on how rough

23. How big was the biggest dick you’ve ever seen? Was it in a porn or in real life? theres a lot of big dicks

24. Boobs or ass - which is better? asss

25. Do you prefer sex or masturbation? Sex.

26. Describe how you usually masturbate. i dont anymore

27. Do you like tattoos on a partner or do you like them to have a clean slate, skin wise? both

28. How do you feel about daddy dom/little girl roleplaying? its hot 

29. What’s your fantasy? pay for my college 

30. Do you have any sexual regrets? Nope.

31. When did you last have sex? Last week.

32. When did you last masturbate? idk.

33. Have you had anal? yeah, HUrtful.

34. Do you like to spank/be spanked? yah

35. What do you want done to you right now? i just want to cuddle him and kiss him thats it

36. Are you comfortable with getting tied up? no

37. Did you have sex in high school? no

38. How old were you when you lost your virginity? How long has it been? 19 years old. its been like a year 

39. Do you like teasing or would you rather get straight to the point? teasing

40. Sexting or phone sex? Sexting.

41. Have you had sex in any interesting places? behind our friends couch 

42. Are you sexually active? Yes.

43. Have you had car sex? UGH I WISH.

44. Have you ever had sex with anyone else in the location you were at? (i.e., while your sister was in the other room) yeah

45. Why aren’t you fucking anyone right now? he had to move right now :(

46. Are you able to have emotionless sex? I’m sure I could.

47. Does penis size really matter? yeah 

48. What has been your most memorable experience sexually? i have a lot 

49. If male, are you well endowed? N/A.

50. If female, what’s your breast size? 34B.

51. Have you ever been the other person? No

52. Have you ever cheated on anyone? no

53. Describe an orgasm. everyones is different. i dont know how to explain just  alot of emotions 

54. What’s the longest time you’ve had sex for? hour

55. What’s the shortest time you’ve had sex for? 

like 2 mins

56. If you could change the person you lost your virginity to, would you? Nope.

57. Have you had any pregnancy scares? Yes, but they were just scares, luckily. <- same

58. Are you comfortable naked? Not really.

59. Are you comfortable sending pictures of yourself to others? yeah

60. What’s your sexual comfort zone like? depends

61. What’s something sexual that you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up liking? spanking 

62. Do you have any piercings in fun places? (i.e., clit, nipples, dick) Nope.

63. Would you say you’re good in bed? i hope so

64. How do you get sex tips? friends

65. Have you ever had sex with anyone while they were on their period? Have you ever had sex while on your period? check previous answers

66. If you could be the other sex for a day, would you and what would you do first? id get hard to see what its like 

67. What’s your favorite part about being the gender you are? how easy i get it with sex lol

68. Slow but passionate, or fast, furious, and kinky? It depends what I’m in the mood for.

69. Have you ever 69’d? Did you enjoy it? yeah

70. Have you ever done drugs and then had sex? no

71. Have you ever had sex with someone you’re in love with? yes

72. How are you with BDSM? Would you ever engage in it? NO

73. Do you like gagging on cock/having someone gag on your cock? Why? yeah its fucking hot 

74. When it comes to oral, are you gentle? Do you use your hands too? 

Yes and yes.

75. Okay, how do you feel about handjobs? connor likes them but i rather suck him 

76. Have you had any unwanted pain during sex? yep

77. What is something that’s not sexual that can turn you on more than anything sexual? facial hair

78. Can your sexual partners be categorized by their zodiac signs? No.

79. Have you had sex to music? What’s your favorite sex song?

wish you were here- Pink floyd

80. What’s something you want to try in bed? idk

81. Has anyone drew blood from you during sex, whether it was by cutting, biting, or scratching? How did you feel about that? Nope.

82. Have you ever fucked someone who was sad? Did it help them emotionally or make it worse? yeah and it helps me 

83. Do you like sexual anons? Sometimes.

84. What’s your ideal round of sex? just let me cum 

85. Do you like the use of whipped cream, handcuffs, chocolate, and cherries? I’ve never done that…

86. Have you ever been walked in on or caught? Nope.

87. Have you ever had sex in public? Would you? I haven’t but I might.

88. What’s a good sex joke? I don’t think I know any.

89. Do you like to be called a dirty slut or would you rather be treated like royalty? both 

90. Are you more submissive or dominant? Submissive.

91. What’s your naughtiest secret? i cant tell 

92. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve encountered sexually? I don’t think anything.

93. Have you ever “stuck your dick in crazy”? Was there a lesson learned? wat

94. Do you like playing with balls/having someone play with yours?

Sure.

95. What’s the best nonsexual feeling? Love.

96. Do you like feet? no

97. Do you look at rule 34/hentai? no

98. Pick a random question off this survey for yourself. i did all 

99. Who’s your ideal sexual partner? connor.

100. Do you have a partner right now? Would you like one? yes i have one 

101. Are you accepting “applications” for a partner? Nope.

[swearronchanel]

and my commentary continues: series 6, episode 2 (if this is now a thing idk what to title it)

You asked for it, my first class isn’t until noon tomorrow so I can sleep in & so, I complied Also the SAG awards finished at like 10pm so even after doing my night routine it’s still early haha here it goes …

- Oh shit I forgot color - ah I really like the new intro - Penny’s outfit is so cute - “Walk don’t run” stfu Sister Ursula this isn’t elementary school - “Have you lost your marbles bubsy” haha that’s cute - UGH I WANNA FIGHT THIS NUN - LET JULIENNE ARRANGE THE DAMN FLOWERS - This is when sister Ursula presses sister Monica Joan about the bon bons lol - “Unlike your sisters” guessing u don’t think u count - You’re damn right - Sister MJ sly af 😏 wish she was my grandma - Aw penny it’s ok sweetie all will be well - AlRight so where is St Cuthberts, is it closer than the London? Idk just wondering - I don’t care that much tbh - Damn this man gonna go blind how sad - I like knowing what happens when I’m watching bc I can’t take so much I get anxious - But are we not going to mention Patsy’s wig anymore? It’s still ugly, lucky emerald is beautiful anyway - - Ugh my bbys are still so hurt about the thalidomide 💔💔 - IT WAS NOT EITHER OF YOUR FAULTS - YES IT IS A MIRACLE PATRICK, YOU SHOULD’VE MENTIONED IT LAST WEEK but it’s all good - HE’S TOUCHING HER STOMACH AH - AND THEY KISSED Lmaoo I bet this will break Tumblr - UgH SUCH A SWEET MOMENT TO MELT MY COLD HEART - Jk this show has made me such an emotional mess, like I rarely ever used to cry or anything - But it could also be because of university diminishing my sanity - “We should really start telling people” - YEA PLS GIVE US A CUTE SCENE TELLING EVERYONE @ NONNATUS - - Buttt, I’m gonna guess it’s either going to be implied that they told them off screen or they won’t find out till she starts bleeding mid inspection ?? idk I’m just guessing, don’t come at me lmaoo - Patrick’s smirk “he’ll certainly understand” 😂😂 - SHELAGH’S CRINGING FACE I LOVE IT - YOU KNOW IM HERE FOR ALL CRINGEY EXPRESSIONS - Plus that’s my bby - - PHYLLIS SAW PATS AND DELIA - SHE KNOWS & IM GLAD IT WAS HER TO FIRST FIND OUT - - alright so let me be annoying real quick - From that clip from the casebook Valerie is problematic/lowkey racist & no estoy aquí para eso PERO I like her in the moment? - One, her outfit is cute - & B, she gets along well with my shelagh and seems nice.. I’m not gonna forget her comment though lol, so I’m going to stay neutral for now - - Ok the Marsh baby is born next - Lol sorry I love when sister Winifred is being cringey or funny but this was just kinda boring but I know it’ll get better later in the episode - BUT SERIOUSLY I WANNA KNOW SISTER WINIFRED’S REAL NAME - Idk why that was capitalized I don’t feel that strongly but I’m very curious !¡! - - Shelagh being all cute and cheeky giving those vaccinations - Penny is so sweet - - Alright this is so irrelevant but still, Shelagh is outside.. so Why would she throw up in a napkin in her hand? lol, all that open space 😭😂 idk I really hate throwing up and will not let my self throw up. Not even vlad can make me😷 - SHIT THAT EXPLOSION THO - what were they doing exactly? - like a bitch over here a lil confused :/ - MY LIL SUPERHERO SPRINGING TO ACTION YES BBY - shit George’s blind for good now it’s sad - and arthur’s gonna die damn - - look at disheveled Shelagh so damn pretty but I wonder when she got that cut lol - Lmaoo @ Valerie, so she knows the Nonnatuns - - Damn I’m only 17 mins in why do I talk so much shit to myself - Sister MJ sneaking that bread during sister Ursula’s prayer is me 😂 - I swear though if Sister Ursula tries to get rid of Sister MJ I will fight - My eyes roll every time this woman is on my screen - Phyllis chewing angrily is also me - “Travel visas there have been canceled” shit pats it’s too relevant right now - “I’m trifle deaf these days” PHYLLIS U ARE A GEM - Penny wins best dressed patient - - Patrick worrying is precious - SHELAGH TRYING TO HINT WHILE SMILING IS SO FUNNY BUT WHY - Lmao why are they acting like Tim is not literally right there? - Also this boy is 15 why is he not ever with friends - Of course he knew, he’s always around and isn’t dumb at all. He basically grew up around pregnant ladies tbh - “.. Good I don’t want to know any other details” lmao 😂 - I knew he’d be pleased but I lowkey wanted him not to upset or annoyed so he could have a good little story line - It’s not realistic that this 15 year old is so pleasant with his parents all the time - Like I was an angsty fright @ 15 - lol I’m acting like I’m old, I’m going to be 19 & I’m still like that^ with my parents a lot of the time - - Why do British people call bandaids “plasters”? Hm. I just think of plaster of Paris for like walls or whatever it’s used for - “I’m a slow healer” lol Shelagh is so precious - “If the baby’s a girl I’m moving out” I think it’ll be a boy. Actually Idk forget I said that - Don’t be nervous bby, speak up you got this - “That’s my girl” yes Patrick that’s our girl protect her at all freaking cost 😭 - I’ve gotten so far without saying “fuck” I’m proud - - “This is the dark before the dawn, but there is always a dawn” thanks sister I needed that - “I’ve committed a crime"😭😭 - I love sister MJ - also not gonna lie I cried a little the first time watching this - - Some mothers of color in the community centre makes me happy - Who’s the model though? 😏 - Someone find him & tag me - Ugh here comes sister “I ruin everything” - Honestly when is sister Julienne just gonna come out and say “you gotta go”? - No that’s not the way you do things - fuck yea sister J - “We must simply sit it out and wait for Churchill” - I HOPE THATS TRIXIE - BUT also I really want Sister Julienne to be the one who saves the day - Lol yea Babs your wardrobe should step it up but it’s okay - - Shelagh don’t be nervous you’re gonna kill it - Does sister Ursula even do anything? She doesn’t see patients does she? Nah she just makes everyone angry - Get up outta here - Lol I’m so Brooklyn for that - “Mrs Turner you look nice” - UM YES, MY BBY, her new dresses & coats slay - She finally took a break from the damn cardigans & I love it. Not that there’s anything wrong with cardigans but you catch my drift - Nah for real I wanted a fabulous wardrobe for Shelagh bc times are changing & Laura Main is literally gorgeous so she needs pretty outfits & got it I did - so here for it, now we wait for another pair of trousers. lets get it 1962 - this first dress had such jackie kennedy vibes, love it - - “Consequences be DAMMED” YES PATS - Phyllis and Sister J are proud, I really want one of them to press Sister Ursula - Look @ Delia actually being a nurse! - ah penny 💔 - - Shelagh’s so nervous at first but then is like YOU KNOW WHAT ASSHAT JUDGE - “Where is nurse Mount?” , “where she is needed” YES SISTER JULIENNE - love the blue coat Shelagh - “I’m not ill, I’m just tired and angry” same - Don’t cry bby - “Our best is worthless bc it won’t change anything” ugh crush my heart, especially that little hug. I need to hug them all - lol who invited Tom to the hospital - he’s so handsome though so it’s ok - TELL THEM, STAND UP - “We need to fight” yes ! - I was worried penny’s baby wouldn’t live - C'mon Pats be pc - okay patsy opening up, crushes my heart she’s so closed off but I feel - Here comes the wicked bitch of the east [end] - Whoops can I call a fictitious nun a bitch - YES PATS YES DONT TAKE HER SHIT - Aw patsy, you two will okay, I mean look sister Bernadette came back as Shelagh because of letters so you never know - - Shelagh’s baby blue outfit >> - she needs to go out in public more with her hair down and slay everyone’s life - “Not today.” Yes Delia - “You did it Mrs Turner, you made em listen!” - Yes tf she did. I’m so proud - the set makeup artist did a crazy good job with the burns - “We never really out grow our parents, we just think we do” aw I should call my mum and dad - mm maybe later it’s midnight lmao - DELIA SAID I LOVE U - I FEEL LIKE NO IMPORTANT COUPLE on here HAS SAID “I LOVE YOU” to each other ?? - They almost kissed aw - Fred just break the door damn - Reminds me a little of when Jenny left - Aw the Marsh fam - Phyllis you are gold - Phyllis is still learning Spanish, please give her an opportunity to use it! - the only Spanish speaking mother was conchita, wasn’t that the first episode ever? lets get another one - Anyway, this was so sad. - “The pain it costs to love..” PHYLLIS I LOVE You. You deserve everything good - Aw all the other mothers with penny! - Alright Lets hear it Vanessa - Aw Delia Bonus: preview for next week - my other bby Trixie is back !! - hope she loses her shit when she realizes sister Ursula is ruining everything + patsy/sister mary cynthia are gone - My bby Shelagh looks so pretty!💕 - BUT I KNOW NO ONE IS SHUTTING DOWN ANYTHING - I will not have it - Phyllis spilling the ever so obvious and boiling tea, sister Ursula is UNFIT - Pls let Sister Julienne say something crazy to her before she goes - Why is babs crying?? - ugh of course that’s the most of a preview we get - Nothing bad will happen to my bbys I won’t have it. Protect them at all costs or I’ll spontaneously combust - Jk but I might flip my shit or throw my laptop - But for real for Shelagh to miscarry 3 episodes in would be a waste of a storyline - Plus it is a drama, we’ll be shook for a while, then we’ll cry, we’ll laugh & then Vanessa Redgrave says something profound and we go on with the week - The End 🙃🙃 - If you read this far, you’re a champ - I did this for u all

[joons-expensive-gurl]

Cendrillion

Pairing: Hoseok X Reader Genre: Drama, Romance Warnings: attempted murder, cheesy af. <b>This takes place in some old time period. Idk when tho. It’s also (very loosely) based off of this [ https://youtu.be/_NSEjt8VjsE ] so I highly suggest watching it. Yes, I’m back into vocaloid. What happened to me?!

Edit: I’m gonna edit this in the morning so bear with any grammar mistakes for now. Sorry folks, I wanted it out on our loved Hobi’s birthday

~^*^~

A gentle knock at your door caused you to rise from the comfy armchair. Slowly, you padded towards the front door, seeing no form of a person. You frowned. Twisting the gold handle, you pulled the door towards you, allowing cold air to rush through you. No one. You looked down.

On the floor was a satin cloth, with a knot at the top. You looked around. There was no one. So, you bent down, picking the package up. It was slightly heavy, but mostly empty. Something inside jingled quietly. You took it back to your living room where you placed it on the table. Taking a breath, you undid the knots. You gasped. Inside was a pocket watch and a dagger. Who on earth would leave this for <i>you</i>?

With a gentle hand, you picked up the pocket watch, turning it around to flip it over. The tiny clock inside was yellowing with age, numbers all in Roman numerals. The hands stopped at 10 o'clock. But the thing that made your eyes almost bulge out of your skull was the small picture at the top of Prince Hoseok. The Prince was smiling brightly. You, however, had a complete look of shock on your face. Looking from the dagger to the picture, it clicked. Someone wanted you to murder the prince. But who? Why? You didn’t know.

You knew when, though.

There was a ball coming up. A huge ball, in fact. The annual peace ball. How ironic - you had to murder at a celebration of peace.

For days, you pondered if you should do it or not. What was in it for you? This person, how did they know you’d do it? What on earth were they thinking?

It wasn’t until two days before the ball when you made your mind up. Just as you were dozing off, you heard the clatter of your letter box. It caused you to jump up, eyes widening. Cautiously, you sat waiting to hear the crunching of the stone path, but it never came. They must’ve fled trough the grass. You pushed the covers off of you, lighting the small candle on your bedside table. Draping a blanket around you, you took a deep breath. Then as you picked up the candle in its small holder, you gently moved through the halls.

Once you reached the front door, you caught the white parchment lying on the floor. With a cautious hand, you picked it up and placed the candle on the desk placed against the wall. Then you tore it open. In scrawled, messy handwriting was the message:

<i>‘Time ticks on, Almost there The prince who smiles Won’t be aware A blade that’s sharp Eyes are sharper Go to the ball Kill the charmer

The price will be high But so will the honours If you complete the task Award to you will be 10 million dollars’</i>

You scowled.

$10 million was a lot of money. But, the prince was also the kindest human the kingdom knew. He was valiant, charming, strong, humorous, and much more. He was a soul that shouldn’t be taken from this cruel world; especially not by murder.

But the money.

You had debts to be paid, sick family to be cured. With that amount of money, you could flee, find somewhere else to live and forget what you did. It was a simple task. Get the prince alone, and stab him to death. Quick. Painful, though.

It could be done.

~^*^~

“Will you be requiring assistance to the ball, miss [Last]?” A maid asked. “Not today. Thank you though.” “No problem, at all. I’ll wait up for you.” “Really, there’s no need.” “Oh there’s every need. We must make sure you get home safely.” “Well, thank you. I’ll see you tonight.” “Have a fun evening, miss!”

Stalking from your room, you hurriedly moved to the living room. Luckily there was no one there. Your parents were away, most maids and servants in the house occupied elsewhere. So, looking around to ensure no one was looking, you pushing up the second cushion of the sofa, ripping it from wooden base and revealing the watch and the knife. You slipped the knife carefully into your stocking and with the watch, you slipped it over your head and onto your neck. It was cold against your skin. There was a noise, causing you to fast and shove the cushion back down, stuffing the watch down the top of your dress.

“Miss? Are you still here, miss?” That stupid maid. “Sorry, yes. I just forgot a ring.” You held up your finger, twisting a random ring before chuckling nervously. “Alright. Well I suggest you be off. The ball’s about to start and I bet all the young men will want a dance with the likes of yous.”

Flushing red, you excused yourself.

The carriage ride was slow. It was painfully slow, dragging out. As you got closer, your heart rate increased. You were actually going to do this. You were going to murder the prince. What a sin.

Looking up to the darkening sky, you sighed. It was beginning to rain, small drops of rain splashing against the mud road. The scent of earth raised into the atmosphere. It was a beautiful, calming scent. Like nature was enticing you to join it.

The forests around you thinned until what was left was a cobble road and the trail up to the majestic Jung Palace. It was a beautiful, intricately designed, humongous building, completely white except for the black balconies that lined the larger windows. The wheels cracked against the cobble as they move up the hill towards the palace. Noise here was beginning to get louder, moving away from the sounds of birds singing before bed to the hustle of a busy town. People were buzzing. This ball was a big deal, after all. You gulped as some people recognised your carriage.

You stared down at your dress. It was burgundy in colour and complimented your skin tone beautifully. The material wrapped around itself a multitude of times, creating large Us in the fabric. Lining each beautiful arc was black lace, which also crept from the underside of the dress as well. At the back, the material came up into a large bow, flowing underneath was many, many layers of black lace. The top of your dress was a love heart line, slightly showing off some skin. The sleeves of your dress were thick, falling off from your shoulders, staying put just underneath. They, too, were a few layers of burgundy material, swooping down to create small Us, also lined with black lace. Your hair was up in a intricate bun at the back of your head, complete with black fake diamonds and a large, burgundy rose headpiece with black tulle that came down to cover your eyes. To finish up, you had large, black headed necklaces on and many rings and bracelets to show your wealth. You looked the part - an innocent woman.

But snug between your breasts was an image of your target, and pressing against the smooth skin of your leg was the weapon to kill him with.

Stoic, you stepped out of the carriage, looking up at the palace. Women rushed past you, up the winding steps of the palace towards the open large, wooden doors. Guards lined the stairs and the doors, eyeing every person who moved past, occasionally bowing to the most important. Some people stopped to stare at you, in complete awe. You didn’t take any notice, heels clicking as you moved up and into the palace.

The palace was stunning inside as well as out. A red rug lined every hallway, all lit with ginormous, beautiful (obviously expensive) chandeliers. Some decor lined the hall, but for the most part they were empty. However, paintings lined the walls. Some were of scenic views, others were of royal family members. The one that caught your eye was of the younger prince, who stood grinning, one hand on the handle of his sword which was sheathed on his belt line.

“Handsome little thing, wasn’t he?” A voice came beside you. You turned, recognising the man as Prince Min Yoongi of the Daegu province. He was of a similar status as your kingdom’s royal family. “Ah, your highness.” You bowed. “No need for that, dear maiden.” “I am no maiden,” you chuckled, “I’m Lady [First] of Gwangju.” “My Lady.” He bowed, “forgive me.” “Also, with me, there is no need to bow. Do you know our Prince well?” You smiled. “We’re very close, me and Hobi. Share the same passion of music. Very easy to bond over.” “I see. And does yourself or Prince Hoseok have a voice of pure gold?” You teased. “Not really, though we are excellent in the art of rap.” “Rap?” You raise an eyebrow, completely unfamiliar with this variety of music. “Yes, rap. It’s where you say words at a certain pace to beat. I find it very stress relieving.” “I must listen to you rap, one day your highness.” “It would be my pleasure, my Lady."The sound of horns cut you off, signalling the start of the ball. "I suppose we should go and join the rest of the population of this palace in the ballroom?” “I suppose so. Hoseok will have my head on a plate if I’m not there for his speech.” “Well, what are you waiting for? He may be smiling in that portrait but if your words are no lie, he won’t be smiling in real life.”

He only chuckled, taking your arm as he lead you deeper into the palace to the ballroom. The doors were open, showcasing the hundreds of people who were stood watching the stage where the royal family stood. The King stood in the middle, Queen on his left, Princess on her left and the Prince on the King’s right. Prince Yoongi waved, to which Prince Hoseok flashed a smile.

“I better go to the front to greet my friend when he’s done.” Prince Yoongi whispered to you. “I’ll stay here. I’m not one to dance.” “We’ll see about that in approximately 15 minutes.”

He pushed his way through the people, slowly getting closer to the front of the room. All the while, the king droned on about the history behind this ball. The queen and princess both had their turns thanking everyone for coming and then Prince Hoseok stepped forwards. He flashed a big, toothy smile to which some ladies swooned at.

“I would like to thank the kingdom for attending tonight. I believe that the Peace Ball is a large part of why Gyangju is such an amazing kingdom and it’s also a reason as to why I’m so proud to be future king. I sincerely hope every single person enjoys the evening, we’ve prepared the most delicious foods and beverages so enjoy that. And of course, just enjoy yourselves. This is a night to be proud of where we come from. Thank you!”

When the speech was over, music began and the floor cleared slightly to allow many couples to begin dancing. You watched as Prince Hoseok jumped from the stage, down to a group of six other princes. You recognised them as Prince Kim Seokjin of Gwacheon, Prince Yoongi, Prince Kim Namjoon of Ilsan, Prince Park Jimin of Busan, Prince Kim Taehyung of Daegu and Prince Jeon Jungkook of Busan. Prince Taehyung and Jungkook were not royal by blood, but royal by marriage.

~^*^~

A few hours later, and the ball was in full swing. You sat on a chair, shoulders back, back straight. You had to look elegant. You had to appeal to Prince Hoseok. The knife pressing into your neck reminded you of that.

People spun around you, dancing and laughing to the music. Fathers of men hoping to sell their daughters to wealthy men in he form of marriage stood around the large buffet table, gulping down the finest of wines and eating the most expensive of foods. You scoffed at them. It was a cheap tactic that somehow managed to work.

You looked up as a shadow came upon you. Prince Yoongi stood above you, smiling in a friendly manner.

“Care for a dance, my Lady?” He smiled. “I already told you, I’m not the dancing kind.” “Please, your posture says all. Now, enlighten me in one dance and I promise I’ll prevent anyone else disturbing your privacy for the rest of the evening.” “Promise?” “I promise, my Lady, you have my word.” “One dance. Only one.” “Of course.”

Graciously, you stood up, taking his hand. Next to each other, you moved to the centre of the dance floor where you turned to face each other. One of his arms snaked around your waist, the other coming up to lace fingers with you. Your free hand came go hold up your dress in order to move. When the next song started mere seconds later, Prince Yoongi had you waltzing around the ballroom. A few couples stopped, watching in envy as you both effortlessly moved around the room. It was as if you were on a piece of floor that just glided you around. You didn’t notice two dark eyes watching, intrigued as he continued to talk to his small group of friends.

When the song came to an end, you and Prince Yoongi bowed to each other.

“Thank you for the excellent dance, my Lady.” “And thank you, your highness.” “I will escort you back to your chair.” “Oh there’s no need for that, thank you though.” “Are you sure?” “I am more of capable than walking a few metres back to my seat, Prince Yoongi.” “Of course.”

As you began to walk, you heard a person call you.

“My Lady! Lady [First]!”

You turned, coming face to face with Prince Hoseok.

“Prince Hoseok, how may I be of service?” You bowed to him. “You must indulge me in this next dance, Lady [First].” He smiled. “Actually, Lady [First] is engaged for the rest of the evening.” Prince Yoongi stepped in. “Ah really? With who?” “With that dashing chair,” you pointed to the chair a few metres away from you, “just over there.” “Lady [First], I hardly find it fair that you indulge my friend Yoongi in a beautiful dance, but not your own Prince. My, am I offended.” “Your highness, if you insist, I will accompany you in one dance.” “You will?” His entire face lit up. For a split second, you forget your motives. “But only one.” “Of course.”

He bowed, holding out his hand which you took. Prince Yoongi disappeared into the crowd. Together, you and Prince Hoseok swept across the room, dancing more beautifully and gracefully than you and Prince Yoongi did. The entire room came to a halt to watch yours and Prince Hoseok’s beautiful dance. The music played on to the end, when you came to your finishing pose. It was then that Prince Hoseok placed a chaste kiss to your cheek.

Time stopped as did your heart. The knife was cutting into your skin. You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t kill him. He had a heart of pure gold. The clock chimed 10. You were supposed to have done it now. You broke away from him, stepping back. His eyes widened as he realised his honest mistake. You ran. Arms and legs pounding, you navigated your way back towards the entrance of the palace. You could hear his cries as he raced after you. But you were long gone. As you ran down the steps of the palace, you tore the pocket watch necklace off, throwing it to the ground. You practically jumped into the carriage, screaming to the driver to go. The horses came to life, bolting off, taking he carriage with them.

Prince Hoseok rushed, one arm behind his back as a prince should, the other in front of him. As he came to the steps, he noticed the watch. He bent down, clasping it in his hands before straightening up. Then he clicked it open, gasping as he saw a small image of himself. What were you planning to do…?

~^*^~

When you returned home, you brushed your maid off, telling her she could go home which she did. You were finally alone. For the first ten minutes, you simply collapsed on your sofa and cried. You were angry, upset, confused. Why couldn’t you kill him? Why did you back out? Why did he kiss you?

You stuffed your hand down your sticking, pulling out the knife. The money came into your mind. You had to do this. You couldn’t back out. No, you weren’t going to back out.

~^*^~

A full hour later and you were ready to go. You had swapped your ballgown for a little black dress, fishnet stockings, and black ankle boots. You had let your hair down, putting it into two pigtails that began at your earlobe.

You eyed the dagger which was on your lap. A tear - which you weren’t sure what it was from - slipped down your cheek. Reaching to your bedside table, you opened the bottom draw, revealing a black mask with a black ribbon which you tied around your head into a bow. You then took the dagger, pushing it into your stocking at the thigh which was covered by your dress.

A deep breath in. You stood up.

~^*^~

The palace was now abandoned by almost all. The guards were still outside, but still allowed you in despite the ball have ended. After all, you were high up in the hierarchy.

Your footsteps echoed the palace halls as you tried to find Prince Hoseok. First you looked through the ballroom, which was now completely empty and dark. Then you tried the throne room which was equally empty.

A few rooms later and you’d found him. The dining room. He was sat alone, facing away from you. Though, he wasn’t eating. He was thinking about you. About how you’d fled. The watch, which was in his hand. He was so confused, so deep in thought that he didn’t hear your footsteps.

He only noticed you when a hand wrapped around the back of his chair. He jumped, standing up and turning to face you. You had the mask on, so he didn’t recognise you.

You used one hand to push him back on to the table. Then, you pulled out the knife once he was lying on the table. He only looked up at you, too shocked to speak. The room was silent. You held the knife to his neck. He stopped breathing. So did you.

Then he did the unthinkable.

Moving a hand to the back of your head, he undid the bow, gently taking the mask off of your face. His eyes widened.

“It’s you…” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

You lifted the knife up, squeezing your eyes shut. But you couldn’t find the will within you to force it down, to cut off the blood supply to his head. To off him. Instead, you collapsed on his chest, clutching the knife to your chest as you sobbed, all of the emotions coming out of you. What had you been thinking? Were you crazy?

His arms wrapped around yours.

“Anything… I’ll give you anything…” he whispered. “Just don’t tell a soul,” you sobbed, “I don’t want to go to jail.” “I won’t tell a soul, Lady [First]. No one.”

You sobbed in his arms like that until there was nothing left to let out. And even then to continued to whimper.

He never did tell a soul about what happened that night.

But he did tell everyone just a few years later about how he was madly in love with the woman who snuck back into the castle after that ball to steal his heart.

[thesecretlifeofmerribethc]

Uh oh... Playing catch up, AGAIN!!

3.22.19

- Tidied the house for when Ne comes and also just to tidy

- Josh picked up Manang and I at 4 to go to Cinemark and watch US (Peele). We get to Southland mall and walk around real quick to wait for PJ. Once bought our tickets then continued5o wait for peej. Watched the movie and it was CRAZY. Talked about the movie and ate some McDonald's across the street (Manang bought us Happy meals and we shared a large coffee). After that we dropped PJ back to his car and we were dropped home. Watched Marv play in the living room then did the elliptical.

3.23.19

- Woke up so early today. 6:30 am!!! Got ready to drive manong to school. Mom and dad were awake when I went down and they were just watching some.lion thing on Netflix. Ate some skyflakes then left. I drove from home to Canton Walmart. Then from there to Ikea (but sadly it was 8 am and it wasnt open till 10 lol). Manong drove to mcdonalds and we got the wrong order!!! Instead of just one sausage egg McMuffin, 2 hash browns, a sausage burrito and 2 coffees, we got 2 coffees, 4 sausage McMuffins and 4 hash browns!! Felt guilty but we didn't go back because we were gonna run late. Got to the school and parked in the structure. Manong went to class and I just walked to the student center and sat. Used the bathroom so many times bc I drank so much water. Also scared myself so many times thinking about US, esp when going to the bathroom. Lol the school was so empty. finally at 12 we left and we drove all the way to Belleville for a citizens Bank (I'm pretty sure there were others but for some reason manong and I searched up citizens Bank and the GPS didn't lead us to any!!!). From Belleville we pulled over at a church and I drove from there home using Huron River drive. Got home and was so tired. Took a nap while Manang was getting ready. Ended up not going to Chynna's house bc manong was really not feeling well. Plus I was so tired. Went down and chilled with dad and Marv. Then dad decided to go to Meijer to buy dinner (beef or something). Manang and mom ended up coming so we went to Walmart and then Target. Got home and mom cooked the nilaga with jackfruit (which we picked up from ne's). Did 5 miles on the elliptical before eating! Watched Nailed It Mexico (and finished the whole season) and then watched the good dinosaur with mom and dad.

3.24.19

- Super tiring day. Woke up late and got ready to go to Taylor. Dad preached then we left immediately to church. Manong stayed home cuz he was so sick. Day felt like it went by so fast. Played with my students (hide and seek) then practiced the choir. Left and we went to Pho Lucky in Redford. Got 3 of the summer rolls, mom got a B2, dad and Manang got P10, ad Marv and I got P4. After that we went straight home. I went straight to my room and fell asleep on my bed, without even taking off my makeup, jewelry or clothes. Woke up and freshened up and just watched some Flavors of China and the forensic files with dad. Mom's not feeling well. Didn't work out today either cuz I wasn't feeling well :P

3.25.19

- Got up late and boy mom is sick. Coughing hard like manong, sore throat, body aches, etc. It's nice and sunny outside tho! Still chilly. They're also working on the at&t fiberoptics too across the street, digging up our neighbors' front lawn. Anywho made some oatmeal and drank water. Went with dad to get Manang then we went to Meijer in Taylor to fill the jugs and buy some groceries. Dad cooked tocino and then later BBQ sticks. I played a game of banana grams with mom and won. Watched Duff vs Buddy. I cooked breaded chicken and made chicken wraps for my sibs and I. Also did 3 miles on the elliptical! Ohhh also saw Ryan block at the Meijer parking lot. He parked in front of us. Sad... He's balding!

3.26.19

- Got up late again. Made dad's shake and prepped the veggied/fruits for the week, made myself a chicken wrap, washed dishes, and then prepped dad's salmon for lunch, his uniform (which I washed) and etc. Watched the caregiver (Sharon cuneta) with mom. She left to get Manang and Marv. I cleaned the house, vacuumed, dust, pipi, mop, wipe the couches. Once they got home manager made an omelette and a veggie with chicken thing with the squash noodles she bought. Drank some hot chocolate and more water. Cut mom some mango with soysauce. Went to my room and chilled a little bit until Marv told me to come down to play a piece on the piano. After that manong came home. Gave mom Benadryl and then worked out. At 2 miles I rubbed Vicks on mom's chest and she fell asleep for a long time!! Manong Marv and I talked after I hit 4 miles. After that I ligo, then changed and went down. Downstairs I washed dishes, tidied the kitchen, prepped dad's shake and put it in the freezer, and boiled eggs. Marv and I ate 2 each. I saved 4 for mom and dad. Marv showed me a skydiving clip from family Guy and then now I have freshened up and in my room.

3.27.19

- Woke up early today! Had to come with manong n Manang. Manong dropped Manang off to work, then we did drive thru breakfast at Tim Hortons. Drove back to Walgreens near manang's subway and parked. Ate my breakfast then drove from Michigan Ave all the way to Westland where manong did his first store. After that I drove to downtown Plymouth. While manong did his store I stayed outside and walked around but mostly sat. Bought a venti green tea latte and sat in the middle park. Oh yeah manong also gave me $12 for food and Starbucks ❤️ after that I met him back in his car. After about 35 min or so we finally left and I drove using Ann arbor trail to hines drive. It was kinda stressful. Exited onto Ford road which was fine but once Greenfield was approaching no one was letting me in 🤦🏻‍♀️ anyway made it tho and parked at manang's work. went in and used the bathroom then just sat for a good 15 min. Went to the car then manong and I went to DQ. I got a triple berry smoothie. After that manong drove to the hill to Sallys beauty where Manang bought me hair dye as well as a toner and such. Then we went to woodhaven. Manang used her Ulta points to buy mom a shiseido cream. Manong and I went to 5 below. There I got a screen protector. Went to Target and then Panera across the street. After Panera we went to Starbucks drive thru for Manang, then Goodwill where I found marv a graduation gown!! And it was only $6!! Manang paid. Lol after that we went home. I took a pretty long nap. Woke up almost 11. Manang and Marv were downstairs. I watched Kubo then near the end I decided that I would work out so I did 3 miles (even tho I told myself I was too tired I pushed myself!). Finished Kubo then watched a little bit of emperoru new groove before ligoing and folding my clothes.

3.28.19

-woke up early again. Manong dropped Manang off and then drove to hair doctors appt. He developed an allergic reaction to his Augmentin (hives/rash/red/bumpy skin). After that I drove to Wendy's. Got a 4/$4 (guilty!! 😩) Then drove to Meijer. There we walked around until his prescription was ready. Then manong drove to 5 below. Didn't get anything, I was trying to look for a size small sweat suit but they didn't have any. Stopped by the car wash place on eureka across from Tim Hortons and we vacuumed his car (free!) Came home, prepped dad's shake and lunch, ate a boiled egg, then napped for a good 2-3 hours. Prepared a chicken boiled egg salad and ate that. Manang and manong came home and Manang and I just talked in the kitchen. Marv is also sick. Then I worked out. I did 6 miles today! I even wore a plastic bag (but also cu Manang was gonna do my hair). After working out Manang bleached my hair, and then together we washed dishes. Prepared mom some food like chicken noodle, ate that, then ate oatmeal. Ligo and now it's 1:02 am! Gotta wake up relatively early and tidy the basement 💀

Life, I'm lovin' it,

Bebet

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LIT Retreat

Oh my, this is gonna be long but it was so fun!!

Friday (4/28)

so i didn’t go to coffee or micro and just came for work due to me needing as much sleep as i can get before the retreat, and i had to hand out some things to D and J and didn’t want to hold onto them for long. Went to work, J got the duffle, D bought and brought me some chick-fil-a :) E swung by and so did D but lets not get into that.... S passed by and asked if i’m excited about the retreat, moved to back booth, E came by and so did J, twas fun

got my stuff and had 30 min to chill, i forgot to charge my phone all the way tho :( started walking to car, i was riding w C!!! and J and J. got there first, we had small talk, J showed up, and talked to him for awhile, we were left in the car alone, wasn’t too awk, C came back and finally J came. 

we went to walmart, right when we got out of the car a woman approached C, and asked if we can buy her some diapers for her baby, C said sure and asked her to come w us, C was asking her about her life, and we walked around trying to find her some diapers and wipes, C went quickly to get something, so J just paid for S’s stuff, she wanted some food for her family so J and J went to Jack in the Box while J told me to find C and stay with him to get his things, he was like right there but they already left, so i went with him to find water bottles, J needed some as well, anyways, there was only a small section and then i was like wait theres more over there, we looked for quite a while until he was like yeah im gonna go back to the cheap ones lolol we also had to pick one for J and he was like pick one between red and neon yellow so i said red obv, we paid and then we saw some cardboard cutouts of a lady with a big dancing skirt and man with a sombrero and guitar, so C was like lets take a pic with those jokingly and i was like that is a good way to start off the retreat, and he was like yeahhh so we took pics, i was w the man and had to tiptoe and he took one w the lady staring off in the distance lol we went to go find J and J and lowkey was worried so i asked C if they were ok and he was like yeah yeah, went there and C got his snacks, apples and cookie butter and i was like omg i love cookie butter and he was like theyre amazing but nobody rlly knows about it, so when we were at the table he gave me a slice of apple and cookie butter on it and i ate it, it was v good, he gave some to J  too, and even handed me the snacks for me to get some more, but i was like nah im good, J was in the middle of talking to S about the gospel and we were just listening in and then she prayed for us and we all gave S hugs then went on our way

we just talked, getting to know each other, but J fell asleep and so it was quiet for most of the cafr ride, we arrived!

they were just sitting around the campfire (no fire yet) with their chairs, saw D and G and c so talked to them, grabbed my chair to sit w them, C asked for some of my hand sanitizer and i was like it smells rlly girly and he was like it has sparkles too haha you caught me irene lololol anyways, we just chilled, mostly talking about their piercings, finally introduced myself to J and she was hugged me, the campfire got started, and we started sterilizing the hangers on which we had to eat the hotdogs from, i stuck a hotdog in mine but forgot to wipe it off first so it was black on some parts, had a hard time cooking it lol, kinda got the tip burnt but that was it, just chilled, had a worship sesh led by A and W, then C talked for a lil bit, then we played werewolf! it was soooo fun! the first round i was the little girl so i knew who the werewolves are, and when it was time to accuse, i accused C lololol i forgot my first reason but the second was that all the dead ppl was pointing to him, so then he came to defend himself and was like if i was a werewolf i would kill the ppl next to me and i shouted yeah like toby! (who was right next to him) and everyone was like omgggg hahahhah so he got ousted, then i accused A bc he tried to nominate someone to divert attention from J, so he was out, then J was a team effort and so was M and T by me, M and W it was so great!! we won and W was like i knew yall knew what was going on and we were all just so happy omg it was just so great

 then the next round i was part of the couple which means if one dies the other dies w them, and lol so A called the couple out to know who they are and it was jsut me so everyone was like are they single lolol and C even volunteered to be the other one but it was handed to C, then somebody killed C so we both died p early but it was great to actually know everything that was going on, C was a werewolf (!!) 

that ended and then T and D and I were just talking, mostly them two, C cmame by to say gnight bc he was going to sleep, he said good game to me, then i just went over to the game going on, was so confused, and later C announced to clean up, D and I went to the bathroom, then to the tent, we changed and cleaned up, also no running water, so no washing hands or place to brush our teeth, we did it outside the tent and spat in the grass, was v uncomfortable sleeping that night, first bc i was just unsettled by the fact that i didn’t rlly feel like i belonged there w others, and i kept praying to God but i dont think i ever finished that prayer, it was cold and hot alternatingly, was afraid to hit M, kept rolling around, no pillow, and the wind was super loud, 

Saturday

woke up at 8 for breakfast, D woke me up, we got cleaned up, then i ate a banana, and one poptart from J, C was right across from me, D and I went to the bathroom, then just got ready for the day, we had down time, so I was talking to J and she was just trying to get to know me esp bc i said i was from the philippines, i got hit by a frisbee tho, J tried to warn me, but it was too late and it hit me in my ear and my cheek ish, dude it hurt bci t was hard, but it went away, i started tearing up and J was gonna get me a bag of ice, L was the one who threw it -.-, C came to joined our little group but turned around to watch the frisbee game so that he can protect us from getting hit lol, then we had worship led by K, and it was great, J talked and then we had 30 min to just have QT, so we each grabbed a chair and i prayed mostly and looked at some scripture and then prayed some more, after that, we had lunch, PB&J, dont rlly like it, was not in the mood, so i just ate some of my hot cheetos, J ate some too and J who hated spicy stuff actually tried a few, we were in a circle once again, i was w J and C and J then J joined as well as T and J and D and J, they just told some stories, and C came later with a sandwich and cheetos within it, he talked to me about my hot cheetos (sad he doesn’t like it) and said do you know what ive been craving? that filipino food truck, and i was like omg yeah theyre great but they dont come around often, and J was like you can track them on social media yeah lil thing but it was great, then we played games, so first we did the rope thing where we had to hold onto the rope and be fully supported bby tghe rope, i was next to J and C, we almost fell at one point, then we split up into 3 groups and did the human knot, we were the first ones out and it was super quick too, Z asked some team building qs, then our group tried it again but it didn’t work lol so we just played bang and that was super fun, never won but had fun nonetheless, then once the other teams gave up, we played this suepr fun game where we pretend that we were in an airplane crash and some got paralyzed, broken legs and arms, blind, mute, and healthy ppl, and basically the point of the game is to get everyone across the finish line within a certain time limit, i was picked to be paralyzed both times, so ppl had to carry me, L carried me the first time w M and D and i was the first one to make it there safely, it was sooo funny bc T was paralyzed and it took like 10 ppl to carry him it was so funny to watch, but we all made it in 3 min!! when we were given 10 min, so the next time, there were more paralyzed and unconscious ppl and more injuries and a lot more guys were picked and we were given 4 min, so we started complaining, but we made it in 3 min and 15 sec!!! A was the one who carried me this time, w J’s help, was one of the first to cross again, and when we finished they asked what was a struggle and successes and i said that there were always ppl ready to help me without me even having to ask, then we had chill time i think, or maybe this was before lunch idk tbh, but afterwards, J was just talking to me and asked me if my parents were believers, i told her my conflict about church and she said she wanted to talk about this more so she offered to have lunch w me, then lit team and lead team got separated and C talked to us and split us into groups of 3, i was w L who i met for the very first time, and C, we were supposed to be vulnerable and what to pray about, what you struggle w, and i told them about my feelings of doubt and fear, we prayed for each other, and after i prayed, C was apparently there, and talked lol idk how long he was there and if he heard my prayer, but he wanted to talk to C, anyways, we were just conversing afterwards, then got the whole group together and we discussed what have you learned from God this semester in which j was like to pace yourself and not take up everything even if they are all good works, G was like you are placed where you are for a reason, and some other ppl talked, then we all prayed one at a time and just waited for further instructions, the lead team was taking a really long time, so first the girls and i were just taking then i went to the pond and skipped some rock unsuccessfully w others, then just kept moving around, the girls finally found a table and just chilled there, B came by ad said that there has been some conflict and theyre just trying to talk it out now, so we were super hungry and thankfully C’s car was unlocked, so i went and grabbed my hot cheetos and gummy bears and baby wipes, we demolished all those and then we were finally called for what to do next, in which C was talking about how this is a serious time now, and the level of vulnerability from you is up to us, then we were told to get in a single line and my heart was beating rlly fast, i was not scared but anxious as to what it is, the lead team were all in a circle holding up cardboard signs, lit each had to take turns to read what was on it, and then write our own, if we want, then go back to the line, honestly i was tearing up before i read their signs and when i was in line again, i just kept crying, then we worshipped and then Z talked and it was in Luke when Jesus washed his disciples feet so the lead team washed our feet, E was the one who washed mine, and then C and B talked and we chilled til dinnertime, i hugged D and she was like we need to have monthly meetings next sem to just chekc up on each other adn we all agreed,we had chili, and then we packed up and headed home, the ride home was more enjoyable bc we were all just conversing and C asked what we wanted to do again in the lead team, and i was like coffee and C was like i just think that yall would make good small group leaders, and i told him why i didnt put that down (im not strong enough in my faith to handle all of them and schedule ofc), and C was like I accept the second reason but the first reason isn’t a reason (or somewhere along those lines), and honestly that struck me in the heart, i was like well that was what i thought... and he was like all the small group leaders though that way and probably still think that way, which was comforting to me, C asked about our music tastes me:none

then all BSM met at whataburger!!!!! omg it was so fun, we were the first ones to get there, all sons and daughters song played and C was like ive never heard of this song before and i was like really? even i have heard of this song and he laughed, then he was like im sorry guys my car stinks and i was like it was more of a group effort, and he was like thats comforting, anyways i sat w M and J and S at whataburger, got bbq chicken tender sandwich, D was supposed to sit w us but sat w J instead, we talked about majors and what we thought about this weekend, we extensively discussed the cardboard moment which everyone thought was heart provoking, then i was around G and L and C and A, L wants a piercing and T showed up but i was like nooo, D came to just rest on me, showed T my cartilage, then went to hbu, kinda dozed off on the way, hugged J and exchanged numbers, then hugged C, said bye to C, D, Z, and L as well. went home, showered and crashed.