#did u want me to LIE to a DOCTOR uwu

[madtomedgar]

.............fucK

[bubbleteaa]

➴ D o u b l e  t r o u b l e

double trouble;; fandom: haikyuu!! pairing: Miya Atsumu x fem!pregnant reader, Miya Osamu x fem!pregnant reader genres: fluff, Atsumu being a dumbass w/c: 1.1K (HOW?? WTFFF AKJSDS) a/n: thanks for the request anon! And thank you for your words, I love you!<3

Summary: Their s/o has a surprise for him. And after a time, they realize that it is no longer a surprise, but two surprises.

Miya Atsumu;;

WHEN YOU TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY

• He would think that you are joking, though. • “Nice one, bae. Ya think yar smar’, don’t cha? Think again” • “Atsumu, I’m serious” • “C’mon bae, ya can’t be serious. Ya wanna laugh” • But you were awfully serious. With a pregnancy test between your tiny hands. • And then he realizes that you are not joking. • If you weren’t his s/o, he would legit run away. • “Well, that was a nice fuck. I just rememba that I don’t like kids, see ya” • But you are his s/o. So, he would be in shock. His eyes stick on yours, analyzing what he could say without making you mad nor frustrated. • “I guess my dick issa miracle maker, righ’?” • It sounded better in his head. • He knows he fucked up a little bit the air in the room with his comment. So he just walks towards you and hugs you tightly, his face bidding in the crook of your neck. You tremble a little because of his actions, but you just let yourself in between his softness and affection. • “I’m happy, ya know” he mutters against your hot skin, smiling lightly “I’m truly happy” • “I’m happy, too” your words kisses his dyed hair, one of your hands still grabbing the pregnancy test, the other one caressing the strands of his hair “I love you” • “I love ya too” he closes his eyes, imagining yourself with a baby. His baby “And to our little one, too”

WHEN THE REAL SURPRISE APPEARS

• “My dick is really a miracle maker, bae” • It must be really a joke, maybe the doctor was clearly blind and instead of another head, it was just an incredible big hand, or feet or a second brain. • But, fate seems to love twins. Too much. • “Yes, there are clearly two of them” your obstetrician looks at you with a playfully smile “Twin twins” • Atsumu is happy. Like, tooooo happy. He convinces himself that he is some kind of a fertility ancient god and that his mission in the Earth is to have twin twins for at least three times. • “I’m so cool bae” •  And he would be also very, very, very clingy towards the babies. And would spoil them without even know the gender. •  “Lemme see my cutie pies” •  “We needa buy ‘em some matchin’ clothes” •  “If we have gals, they would never date a guy” •  “I wish we could have gals, bae. They would be as cute as ya” •  “Imagine two lil’ Y/n’s running in the park bae” •  And he would like to have boys, too. •  “Wait, I know I say whatavaout’ gals but think about boys” •  “One spiker and one setter” •  “Omg I have to call Samu, wait bae” •  He will brag to everyone about the news. He will legit post at least the same picture of the ultransound 10 times on his social media. • ”OMG LOOK AT MA BABIES ARENT THEY COOL???????” •  “Just here to remind ya I’ll be father :D” •  “You wish you could have the life I have, loser” •  At the end of the day, he would always lay at your side and put his head on your lap, looking at your belly, smiling. • He would always run his hand carefully over your skin, feeling them quick from time to time. Sometimes his eyes would cry a little bit for the future you hold in your body. •  The future he wanted with you. •  “But they are a true miracle, my love”

Miya Osamu;;

WHEN YOU TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY

• Superior twin. •  He would probably know about your pregnancy before you. • Like, he legit is the one that cooks for you at 2 a.m., How was he not going to know it? •  “Samu?” •  “Yeah?” • “I’m pregnant” • Unlike Atsumu, he doesn't think it's a joke, nor does he make any out-of-order comments regarding the news. She just smiles lightly at you and caresses the crown of your head. • “I already knew it, though” he mentions you after a while, looking you in the eye. He smiles slightly and press a chaste kiss on your lips "I was just waiting for you to confirm it" • “I have to talk to Tsumu, tho. I just won a bet” • “Bet?” • “Yeah, I’m the one who is getting marry first and having a child first” •  Yes the mf will propose to you. I stan that. KJSHDJSA •  You blink for several minutes analyzing the situation. His hands are on your belly “What?” • “I want to spend the rest of my life with you and with our baby” •  It’s impossible to say no to that, tho.

WHEN THE REAL SURPRISE APPEARS

• Now, he didn’t see this coming. • But i’s quite funny, ngl. • As always, he was accompanying you to appointments with the obstetrician. Both of you were calm, especially since it hadn't been long since the last visit. It was just an impromptu date because you said that your hip hurt a lot, and honestly, Osamu wouldn't risk anything happening to you or your baby. • But yeye, now something happened to you and your baby. • They multiplied. • And now there are two of em. • “Is that another head?”  • “Oh, yes. It seems that you are having twins” •  “Like twin twins???” • “Uh, probably. Mr. Miya, you have a twin twin, right?” • What a coincidence see ya in there lil samu and tsumu. • Now, prepare yourself for OVER OVER PROTECTING OSAMU. • “Don’t carry that, ya will hurt my onigiris” • “Y/N. Go to sleep, our babies needs to rest” • “Sit”, “Yer feet hurts, ya can’t lie to me”, “Yar goin’ to the bed now”, “Ya dontcha need to go out, do ya? Of course no” • He cares just too much. • sPoiLES YOU AND THE BABIES TO THE CORE. • “Samu, I’m hungry” • “Watcha want bae?”  • And he will cook you everything. Even if he run out of ingredients, he would call Tsumu or someone to bring him some-because he will NEVER leave you alone at home-.  • “I need more katsuobushi and panko, go get me some” • “Oh hello to ya too Samu, how is my favourite bro-” • “Tsumu, just brin’ me the ingredients and stfu” • The babies WILL HAVE matching clothes. Don’t even try to stop him.  • Cute nicknames for the babies? Bet. • “Oni and Giri will love this, bae” •  “Wait, how did you call them?????” • Anyway, he will be very careful with you. Even when you cuddle. He will try his best to not harm you or make you uncomfortable. • “Is this position alrigh’, bae?” •  “I can change if ya don’ feel fine” • “Please lemme know if you feel comfortable” • Kisses. On. Your. Tummy. • Like. A. Lot. • HE LOVES WHEN THEY KICK YOUR TUMMY. HE LEGIT FALLS MORE AND MORE IN LOVE AHHHH IM SOFTTT. • “They are moving”  • “Yeah, they know their daddy is here, they just love you too much” • He would smile so brightly that your heart will do UWU UWU UWU.  • “I love them more” • He is just the perfect dad:( you can’t change my mind.

｡･:*˚:✧｡ C h e e s e  c u l t : @akaashichigo @drainedjaz @haikkeiji @annalyn-annalyn @mlkytobio @sosugasweet @cali-writes-sometimes @simping4ratsumu @shishinoya @ushiwakaa @from-left-to-write @akaashit-baeji  @kxgeyamasmilk @agaassi @hanibuni @cupofkenma  @kawanisshi @milkandc00kiez  @thiccbokuto @shinsukestan @sufiawrites @wakaitoshi @skyguy-peach @fern-writes-ig @briswriting @kawaiikraykray @miyuswriting @raevaioli @ouikarwa @hakueishirei​ @pineapplekween​ @estherwritess​ @keiji-n​ @achoohq​ @badlywritten-hq​ @mochibeaa​ @oinkanna​ @chxrry-wxne​ @spudicide​ @airybby​ @asranomical​ @karmasuna​

｡･:*˚:✧｡ G e n e r a l  m a s t e r l i s t: @trashys-things​ @softforshigi​ @groundzeroagency​ @edensxgarden​ @pm4gal​  @yams046​ @thatfanfictionwriter​

[ziracona]

The tendency in fandom to take every white girl with short hair, regardless of the status of their canonical interest or lack of interest in women and explicit interest and/or sexual history with everything but, proclaim them a lesbian queen, and then ignore or absolve them of every single horrific act they take in fiction because of this. Is not doing feminism. Women. Lesbians. Or anyone. Any favors. It’s just bad.

Somehow. Some people really do apparently need to hear that...being any specific sexuality...is not a personality trait.

And also. Women aren’t inherantly less vile than men (or anyone non-binary, agender, fluid, etc, else), and whatever bad deeds they do should be judged based on just that—on the deeds, and their context. Not their sexuality, imagined sexuality, or their gender. Becuase none of those things effect whether committing murder is bad. At all. Not even a little. And none of them. Is even a personality trait. Affecting the character’s value as a person.

It’s cool, and good, to see characters with minority identities. And it’s real nice. When it’s whatever you are. But them being whatever. Is not a personality trait. Just a fact. And sometimes. People of any type. Are not good. Pretending any minority status—gender, sexuality, race, disability, neurotype, etc—is a get out of jail free card? Is not. Doing them. Or anyone. Any favors. Personality disorder. Doesn’t make you bad. Also doesn’t make you good. Your actions do. Acting like Amy from Gone Girl did nothing wrong when she date rapes her boyfriend & then frames him for doing that to her & ruins his life, then blackmails her husband who is terrified of being murdered by her into staying with her for the sake of the child she made at a fertility clinic with his sperm without his consent, bc she’s a woman. Isn’t good. Men aren’t more deserving of violence than women. Neither is anyone else. Jane. Left an infant child in an unheated car in subzero weather in a snow storm with zombies around that easily would hear it cry and go eat it. So she could lie and say she already let zombies eat it to bait a man with easily triggerable PTSD who had just lost his family to zombies for the second time into starting a fight. Because he was injured, unarmed, weak, down an eye, and 50, while she was fit, mid 20s, healthy, and armed with a hunting knife. Because she wanted an excuse to kill him without looking bad, because she wanted the 11 year old girl she was co-parenting with him, all to herself. And her immediately responding to the dude throwing a punch by stabbing him in the stomach to escalate the fight from brawl to life or death, then losing her knife, and instead of telling him the baby was alive & she’d made it up to start a fight which could have at any point ended the fight, begging the 11 year old child to gun down her oldest surviving friend with her own hands in cold blood so that she’d get what she wanted? Is evil. As is crying on the 11 year old and using pity as a weapon to get her to stay with her if she gets mad and wants to leave when she realizes Jane staged the whole thing for an excuse to murder, and so is after realizing like a month later that she is pregnant, committing suicide, and leaving the 11 year old that she just manipulated into killing her oldest surviving friend/completely isolated on purpose so she could have her to herself, totally alone in the apocalypse to care for an infant. Jennifer’s Body? Is a fantastic film. And Jennifer didn’t deserve any of what happened to her. But not one single boy she kills during the course of that film deserved it—and explicitly so. Even the guy who could easily have been a meathead jock bully is outside alone crying becuase his best friend just died and he loved him before she decides to lure him off and eat him alive. And acting like it’s totally fine & Needy should have just let her keep eating boys instead of killing her? Is fucked up. None of them deserved to die. And no one deserves death innately more because they are or are not something that is just a factual designator of their makeup as a human. The exchange student was scared and alone and nice, the catholic kid was sweet and Needy’s friend, Chip is a bad boyfriend but he meant well and being stupid doesn’t mean you deserve to die. And this girl ate them alive. That’s not funny. Or cool. Or fine becuase they were dudes. Gertrude Robinson? Chose again and again to betray people who loved her, or trusted her—sold out victims of awful trauma to their worst nightmares. Killed friends in the worst possible ways, like it was nothing. Michael loved her, and trusted her, and tried to care for her, and she without faltering fed him to his worst nightmare and forced him to become it. There is nothing excusable about that action.

Jude Perry? Has 0 redeeming features. Didn’t even stay faithful to her poor gf & was creepy obsessed w Agnes. Literally murdered her co-worker friend just because he was happy, and she wanted to destroy things: that’s it. She didn’t even dislike him. Murdered him because he had a wife and kid and house and it seemed fun, then burned down his house, took his wife’s money, and now checks in on his kid every so often in case he ever recovers from the trauma she inflicted enough to be fun to kill. There is literally nothing good about this woman. Yes. I mean that. Because being a lesbian? Is just a thing. There is no g/b tag, there is no tag at all. Amanda Young? Got kidnapped and tortured and forced to choose between killing a man who couldn’t resist but was conscious to watch her, and letting herself die, and she killed him. Then, instead of responding to that trauma with guilt or responsibility or anger at her captor, joined up with him and started helping him kidnap people just like her. She was not forced, she was not lied to. It does not matter if John was manipulative; she is a grown ass woman and like all grown ass adults, responsible for her own actions and choices. She did not get manipulated pitifully into this—she did not go unwillingly. She volunteered, with a happy vengeance, became obsessed with John and in love with him, despite his complete lack of interest. And she did not even just do what he did. She decided on her own that no one deserved redemption, & she killed them for fun in traps that wouldn’t let them go even if they did whatever awful thing the trap demanded as a price for life, just for the fun and power trip of watching them die helpless & in agony. That was all her, & her alone. She sat in a house full of people slowly dying from organ decomposition over the course of a few hours, for no crime worse than drug addiction—the thing she of all people should have been most sympathetic to—knowing full well at any time she could have saved them and stopped the game, and did nothing. She held a woman in her arms and stroked her head lovingly while she let her die in one of the most inhumane ways possible for the crime of having not been able to break an addition. She got saved by a 16 year old child multiple times, who had done nothing more than shoplift, and stood by while he had to watch a man get his brains blown out, another burn to death in an oven. As his organs slowly dissolved too. Watched the kid kill another human being & massively traumatize himself to save her life. And responded to that by attacking & knocking him out, tying him up, locking him up for days in a tiny safe bound and gagged with an oxygen supply to keep him alive, to be a piece in another game. Left his father, who had shown up to try & save him, to starve to death in chains in a horrible abandoned rotting room, & never even told him his son was alive. Let every other addict die horribly, let that kid sustain permanent damage to his organs that will kill him young, antidote taken or not, took his dad from him, & went back to torturing without a second thought. Kidnapped a woman whose worst crime was being a doctor & dating someone while maybe separated instead of divorced from her husband, put her in a trap that would take her head off with shotgun blasts, threatened her for fun, & then killed her even after she did everything she was asked, because it was more important to her that the old man she was obsessed with think she was special and great, than for the other woman to get to stay alive another day & go home to her daughter. There is nothing sympathetic about Amanda. She’s just not only evil, but too spineless to take responsibility for her own choices & actions, & tries to hide behind a “UwU I am sad & lonely & damaged & having trauma means I can literally torture people to death to feel special & it’s really tragic and sympathetic about me, not evil. Uhm. Some people??? Commit torture-murders?? To cope??” And acting like she’s somehow a victim in this becuase she is a pretty white girl with short hair? Is fucked. Up.

But every. God damn. Time. I see this. Please. It needs. To stop. People go: “UwU pretty girl short hair want” & I go “Ok. I see where u. Come from. Indeed.” But then. They go. “Girl pretty I like. So she was blameless. For this atrocity.” Those words...

Every day. I wake up. Thinking of Janic saying. Iconically. “At least me and Regina George know we’re mean,” and I weep inside. Because I cannot fathom. Or stomach. The lack of responsibility. I will kill. Characters who cannot admit they are bad. Myself. But somehow. They become. Flames. To moths. Of the “UwU pretty white girl short hair. We stan. Victim. Queen. Love her. Never done wrong.” Boy. We all done wrong. Even all my faves. At least once. I think. ...not if we count dogs probably, but people, yes. Ok. Anyway. All this is to say. Characters. Should be judged. Based on what they did. And why. And the aftermath. Not a grouping tag. I don’t mean any of these. Make bad characters. At all. Amy is a great character. So is Jennifer. So are most of them. I have quite affection even. For Jeneffer specifically. But you can like. Character. Without proclaiming. Them perfect humans. Who never did a thing wrong. Or their acts somehow. Justifiable. And ok. And you better stop saying. Ok. Because done. To men. Men do not. Deserve violence. Any more. Than anyone else. No one deserves violence defacto for factors. Outside their control. Wtf. Really people. It’s ok too. For character. To do much bad stuff. And still like character. Villains. And often just complex characters. Sometimes just characters. Do stuff. That is bad. It’s not supposed to be not their fault. Or ok. Also. Women are not a sisterhood. Of flawless beings. Who never hurt anyone or do any bad stuff. They can. And are. Often purpotrators. Of awful acts. And when they are. It is still. Very bad. Still. An awful act. Same level. Even. Of awful. Wild.

In conclusion.

Having short hair. While a girl. Doesn’t make her a butch queen. Who is absolved of all responsibility for that murder she committed. It just makes her a girl with short hair. That did a murder. I’m gonna. Kill someone. Too. And if I chop my hair off. I guess I can get away with it.

[chiquititae]

50 questions tag

i was tagged by @softyoong and @queenyoonji ily thank u uwu

1. What takes up too much of your time?

   the internet and laying awake thinking of stuff lmao

2. What makes your day better?

   reading, talking with my friends, cuddling with my pets

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

   umm my friend comes over later today and we will have a sleepover!

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

    ummm maybe it’s not a fictional place but i would like to live in the doctor who universe and like... travel through time and space please and thank u

5. Are you good at giving advice?

  i honestly do not know im probably horrible at it

6. Do you have any mental illness?

   lmaooo i was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression but ther’s probably more

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

   is it a sleep paralysis when you lie awake but can’t open your eyes or move?? then yes

8. What musician inspired you the most?

   bts bc they’re the only artist i actually felt a connection with (except halsey but it was a long time ago)

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

  no not really

10. What’s your dream date?

     it would be something chill like a walk in the forest or netflix&chil djghjshgkj

11. What do others notice about you?

      uhhhh idk?? probably that i have a weird laugh (and i mean the jin wind shield laugh)

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

      i always crack my neck by pushing my chin forward thats why people think i want to put up a fight jkghdkjfhkj

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

     more like crush and not really  

14. How many exes do you have?

     none

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

    i don’t have a playlist atm

16. What instruments can you play?

      a goddamn recorder

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

      my pets and memes

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

     literally everywhere wtf but lately i really want to go to greece

19. What is your zodiac?

    taurus sun, libra moon, aries rising

20. Do you relate to it?

     i don’t know shit about astrology pls

21. What is happiness to you?

     surrounding myself with people i love, feeling rested and at peace

22. Are you going through anything right now?

      a sexuality crisis sigh but also another wave of anxiety about my future 

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

     sharing too much with fake friends too soon without actually checking if they can be trusted and if they will be on my side

24. What’s your favorite store?

     thrift shops

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

     it’s a woman’c choice and it should absolutely be legal

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

     not really bc i don’t think i will be able to do much with it

27. Do you have a favorite album?

      not really

28. What do you want for your birthday?

      so my birthday is tomorrow and i just want some people to at least wish me happy birthday bc some people i know irl and cared for totally forgot about it last year. also some goddamn peace of mind would be nice

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

    that i’m quiet probably 

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

      i think i look my age, i’ve never been asked for ID at least jkdgkgj

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

     next to my head

32. What word do you say the most?

     yikes

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

    2-3 years older but the 3 years is a stretch

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

      2 years younger?? but i would be most comfortable dating someone my age

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

     idk lmao

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

     literally everything sounding nice

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

      germany or canada

38. What is your current favorite song?

       jamais vu at the moment

39. How long have you had this blog for?

     this one probably like over 1 year but my first one since 2013

40. What are you excited for?

      my friend coming over today bc she will finally meet my pets dfjkghdfkg

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

      definitely listener

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

    cleaned up my room 

43. What do you want for christmas?

     i never know what i want so djghdfkjg

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

       umm when i was in high school i had the best grades in english

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

    8. it’s actually a good day today

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

      hopefully doing something i will not hate and in a small flat in a city with my future girlfriend uwu

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

     oh my, idk i used to be (and still am)  pretty fragile kid so every little bad remark broke my heart djggjkldgj

48. What age do you want to get married?

    i don’t really have an age in mind

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

      a singer or an actress bc every little girl wanted this and now i’m like oH HELL NO

50. What do you crave right now?

     cuddles as always, to watch the handmaiden for like the 5th time, something sweet

i tag: @hamkis @eriiees @ssprlngday @jamaisvubf @piscesjeon @sopeshighnotes @biminie @parkjiminsprincess @joonieflower @rysiowate @rosegoldje0n

[apocalypto12related]

Do all of them!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

Ye! Sammy! @deziac

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Um... My family, probably, and no.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Kitty! I love kitties!

4: what’s something you really want right now?

an apartment. on a less serious side, um, glasses???

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

Nope! I already have and since we’re poly im sure i will again owo

6: do you like the beach?

so/so. depends on my mood.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

um... a pull out sofa, does that count? i have a hard time sleeping unless i can fully lie down.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

my old phone was tony my new phone is space. not sure what it’ll be soon. >w>;; considering i need to redownload all the stuff i got off tumblr. :’( i lost all my snapchat stuff, but i moved all of izaya to my computer so that’s fine.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

what??? O_o; um... a homeless shelter’s bed and other than that they were all my own??? (not counting the “bed” made of sheets at the one place.)

10: do you like your phone?

i just got a new one!! uwu It has 32GB with it’s own internal storage and I have a 32GB sd card. nwn;; So I have a lot of space~! plus it has a fingerprint sensor and im in love with unlocking it like that owo

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

prolly not, but when do they?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

sammy! bc we both got new phhones!

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

i heard poodles have bad temperaments!! idk about rottweilers!! whichever one is nicer??/

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional!! physical heals!! short time span for pain! emotional might not go away!

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

DONt mmake me chosoelk??! i love both!!! i lovemy fluffy butts and i went to the met in new york!!! it was so cool!!! swords!! armor!! egypt!! aahhhh!!! i cant choose!!

16: are you tired?

im always tired!!!

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

um... well it’s sammy

so uh, ten years in march owo (technically december was the first time we met!! but we count it as march since that’s when he started talking rly)

18: are they a relative?

no!!

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

it depends on if they changed their personality!! if not then no!! i mean i did get back with sammy but yknow we just count that as a break since we did actually get back together lmao

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

this morning!! she is at work so she’s not too talkative rn!

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

we’re fine with what we’re at!! i don’t need to marry her to make it ‘official’!! we’ve lasted almost 9 years and through some big hardships!! both of us unmedicated and dealing with new medication changes, so i think we’re fine!!

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

of course!! :P

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

two!! my blue sylveon bracelet (i love sylveon, i would wear umbreon but i think i packed it!!!) and my pride rainbow bracelet! i took them off when we were looking for a shelter bc i was scared we’d get denied if they saw obvious gay signs :(

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

not directly!! something along the lines of that there is no set path in life you have to choose which ways you want to twist and turn and they’ll lead you onto new and bigger things.

25: what’s on your mind?

music! stuff for my phone! i have a lot of stuff i need to add to eeet!! it’s only a day oolllddd.

26: do you have any tattoos?

yes! it’s for my kitty who passed away! Her name was luna. I’m sure i’ve posted a picture somewhere.

27: what is your favorite color?

#00C5FF

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

prolly tonight. owo

29: who are you texting?

Sammy owo

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

probably?? lol what.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

YES ACTUALLY D: idk if it happened any other time, but when we got into the car accident when I told our one friend we were joking about her coming up and hanging with us all my brain said was ‘You shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ and again when we went out to the car and it was pretty heavy snow fall. I was like ‘I shouldn’t go.’ my problem with that one was I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t think ‘we shouldn’t go’. but... what can you do now?

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

um. i don’t think i have a super close opposite sex friend. closest would probably be @h0bsyrup

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I’m sure Sammy does. >w> I’m not sure otherwise. My followers don’t tell me that stuff.

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes omg. Sammy was staring me in the eyes the other day and was like ‘your eyes are pretty’ and i’m like ‘omfg shut up >//

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

if they’re not dating then she’s gonna punch their lights out, so i don’t have to worry.

36: were you single on valentines day?

November 24th, 2008 is when I started dating Sammy. You tell me.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

... of course?? wtf is with these kiss questions.

38: what do your friends call you?

Kiki :D

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

lil bit.

40: have you ever cried over a text?

Um... probably. I can’t remember.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

omg... um i guess undermy belly button is the latest bruise??? i have a lot atm from surgery and being motionless for four days!!

42: what is it from?

Sammy actually like harshly pushed on that area. like when you go to land somewhere with your full weight then you go ‘oh fuck’ yeah.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

um... recently??? but i guess not as bad as with my mom.

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

Sammy owo

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Nah.

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No.my hair style is like 99% bun.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

i dont follow trends i set them.

48: do you make supper for your family?

not recently but i would for sammy and i usually

49: does your bedroom have a door?

i don’t have a “bedroom” atm e.e

50: top 3 web-pages?

tambo.c0m (tumblr), archiveofourown.org (ao3), youtube.com (the three i use the most anyway)

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Sammy. xD at least food shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?

Abdomen. (:

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

it depends. if it’s unnecessary then prolly. if they’ve fucked me over idc. (i.e. my family trying to replace my mom’s abusiveness, fuck them.)

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

prolly water owo

55: how is your hair?

it’s feeling fine, thank you for asking!

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

it depends! if it’s my “morning” i wake up and usually bathroom.

57: do you think two people can last forever?

sure but it takes work. it’s not gonna be perfect 24/7 without communication or compromise.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

ye. omfg why would you give me nightmares. that’s when i started the rping side of myspce and met that douche wesley. his lying ass made me start self harming. fuck him.

59: green or purple grapes?

i don’t eat grapes .w.;;

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

sometime in the future! prolly sammy!

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

in an apartment. >w> or at the pompeii exhibit!!!

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

possibly today

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

lying in bed. :D

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

struggling to be alive. (eating chocolate chip muffins)

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

oh god. w8 no. i didn’t like anyone yet. that started like october or shit. ugh my ex. he became an ass. (aside from sammy obvs)

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

sammy!!

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

um... i don’t think so. i think we were both too tired and stressed. we didn’t get into bed until like 1 and the shelter has us be out of beds by 8:30 x3x;

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

um... ‘i should go back to sleep’ after waking up a third time and distracting myself with the phone

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yeah,but at least i tried.

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

it’s not *my* computer, so it doesn’t count! ;D (8 but im downloading music stfu)

71: how many fingers do you have?

i have 10. my one pinky counts as a half finger sometimes though. i broke it and bc i didnt have insurance i never went to a doctor to get it fully take care of so it healed up all wrong.

72: what is your ringtone?

default at the moment!

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

oh fuck i’ll be 24. man if you asked me that back in june i’d be like ‘still 23 (;’ but no. my bday is december

74: where is your mum right now?

She passed away. :/

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

I realize that as much as I wanted to believe it was love, it never fully blossomed into that until I was with Sammy. I don’t think I’ve truly ever gotten to love anyone else, but that’s okay.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

of course owo sammy and i are hella gay don’t u know.

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

i believe so owo we just don’t talk as much bc im a lazy sack of shit.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

fuck. i think i had a minor crush on some dude who also liked green day but never fuckin talked to me so i never bothered. that might’ve also technically been when i started liking wesley. does billie joe from green day count?

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

personally? uh.... i’m not totally sure o-o; fuck me man.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

probably wait yes. sammy. spooning is our fave position.

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

e.e no one that wasn’t a celebrity. 

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

no bc shelter e.e

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

:P i talk to them everyday.

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

i wouldn’t get drunk! i wouldn’t scream at ppl! that’s rude! ppl usually can’t even hear you when you yell at the window! we hear ‘whoosh’ with your voice in the middle’

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

i would be concerned since she’s said she doesn’t like them!!

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um... oh! a conversation started and a lil girl asked if we were in a certain theatre and I said ‘no we were in theatre blah’ so I asked what they went and saw. She said “Wonder Woman” “hey we just came out of that, too!” :P

87: who was your last received call from?

.3.; sammy

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

i-i’m torn??? i needm oney but poor butter-san... ;____;

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

money. clothes maybe

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeah. lmao.

91: do you sleep with your window open?

i usually do! esp in the winter/summer! need air and love cold!

92: do you get along with girls?

ye!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

no. owo

94: does sex mean love?

no! sex is something that can bring someone closer, but it is not necessary for a relationship! 

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

>3>;;; again, no.

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

owo; indirectly. i shared a drink with someone who had one. xD

97: did you sleep alone this week?

not this week! :D last week. ;~; at the hospital.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes. >3>

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

no!!! that’s not love!! you might end up loving them but you can’t love someone unless you know them!! :c otherwise it’ll lead to some bad decisions!! D:

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

OwO Sammy I think.

[makeroomforthejolyghost]

trying 2 articulate a Grievance i have long had, or like. a thing that makes me kinda uncomfortable. about most fandom portrayals of joly. (so, u know, nothin outta the ordinary here.) this... may take a while haha

so: i know it is the duty of every conscientious les mis fan 2 remember it would contradict historical accuracy 2 insist that joly’s owning one necessarily means he requires use of a cane in 1828-32. but frankly? as a 23-y/o [ex-]hypo who walks w/ a cane, not bc she Can’t Not, but bc to stand unassisted is for her an enormous waste of spoons? i’m just glad i’ve never seen anyone suggest joly “just thinks he needs one.”

like. 4 my current purpose, anyway, the author’s pretty dead? since if u asked me point-blank how victor hugo intended joly i’d admit i doubt the question whether joly’s a Real hypochondriac entered his mind, and that he most likely didn’t intend for us to read joly as needing his cane since probably if he’d meant it that way the subject would’ve come up again--would have been relevant to the plot somehow, &c. &c., since for-no-reason representation wasn’t rly a thing back then. but the objective of for-no-reason representation, re disability, is to assert that ppl like me n joly need no excuse to exist, so. i recommend factitiously misreading victor hugo’s intention! this is just a disclaimer, beggin ur permission to Read Too Much Into Everything

but ngl, i feel kinda threatened by interpretations of canon-joly as physically but not mentally ill/disabled. my philosophy here is “LET’S HAVE BOTH,” but headcanon joly is Basically Me, so before i understood myself as deserving to be called physically disabled/chronically ill i projected that self-doubt onto him as well. and that’s still my favorite reading of how joly sees himself in canon? whereas jolys who’re fairly self-possessed n confident re being disabled and whose illness-experience includes no sign of ocd-spectrum anxiety seem 2 me neither accurate nor like the pinnacle of Good Representation.

of course on the list of “joly headcanons that make me uncomfortable” these fellows trail waaaay behind abled jolys, or, god 4bid, the ones that keep his canonical team-mommishness n proxy-hypochondria re his friends but drop the self-defensive sword-clanking he also does in canon. the modern AUs where he’s a perfectly successful doctor?--yeah. i can’t stand those, cane or no cane. but i guess what i’m trying to say is that i rly like the gesture of solidarity implied by headcanons that insist on joly’s being physically disabled/chronically ill, but rly don’t like when this smacks of a wish 2 reassure him that being sick means he isn’t bats. i doubt his illness respects this dichotomy

and plenty of people do write him that way--sickbats, i mean. but i wish the fandom was more cognizant of what that would imply! canon-joly’s aberrantly vindicated by physical proof that he’s For Real Sick; if u read him as [physically] disabled/chronically ill then the tone he takes in preliminary gaieties suggests joly fears and yet risks the imputation he’s faking (or imagining, exaggerating, milking) disability, by daring to acknowledge it in public. because, as every abled-passing person knows who’s ever gone too long without diagnosis, “physical proof” promises ur only escape from the imputation you’re Faking It, but also, seems a harbinger of certain doom, since, when you don’t know your problem is, nothing bad can happen to you without your figuring ah yes. clearly, the end is near

my point is, if joly uses a cane because disabled rather than just because 1832 i don’t think this can/should be left unconnected to his, uh. “somatic symptom disorder,” i guess? that fancy dsm-5 term kinda creeps me out, for a bunch of confusing ineffable reasons, but i employ it here instead of plain ol “hypochondria” to drive home that for most of us it’s not about fear of being or becoming ill; it’s an ocd-spectrum disorder characterized by unexplained ailments + health anxiety. and unexplained doesn’t mean imaginary–whether molière thought so or not. it means undiagnosed. so if med school’s made joly more a patient than a doctor the fact his anxiety got him there does not make that less true. it’s difficult to tell what ur body won’t let you do from what ur brain won’t let you do when these mutually reinforce each other; if you believe illness prevents you from doing something, then even if you’re mistaken about the nature of your illness, it’s still true that illness prevents u from doing that thing. even if all this amounts to is that you’re too scared to try. bc to have prohibitive anxiety around it still means you can’t do it. and that’s... not unpathological.

AND IF THAT’S WHAT’S UP. if his cane compensates for these unexplained ailments. then he would need it symbolically as well as physically? he’d need it to walk, and also, to end the argument over whether he Deserves xyz. and maybe he’d pretend it was an aesthetic choice in order to evade reproach about malingering or playing for sympathy! i think [in canon era] he’d pass it off as affectation until/unless other people implied as much, at which point he’d defend himself as needing it without even knowing anymore whether he gets to make that claim, bc at this point even to him it seems Too Convenient. probably he’d end up with warped gratitude toward his own debility just for reflecting what he already knew; why else would you check your tongue in the mirror when you know you’re about to die, right? a joly who forgets he’s not faking it and compulsively reassures himself of his… in/validity is my favorite joly and, i think, the most accurate. but i am projecting 2.

however i think this is more of a representation/aesthetic-philosophical complaint than one about accuracy. bc i get the sense that to portray joly as physically disabled and, if also mentally ill at all, then in ways unconnected to said physical disability (i.e. to believe him implicitly and thus take away the need for his self-doubt and resulting health anxiety) is, like. the Responsible thing to do, as a sick-both-ways person. and i don’t agree w/ that at all? it seems both equally-important and equally-interesting to me to acknowledge that self-doubt/impostor syndrome and ocd-spectrum anxiety are inextricable parts of the diagnostic process, esp. since that’s... the point joly is at. in canon. and idg why the idealized wish-fulfillment version of his canon position should be the one the fandom prioritizes. i want both, is all i’m sayin.