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fieryglutenfreechickennoodles · 9 months

Text

A Jackson Love Story

Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: It seems like before the outbreak it was common knowledge that history tends to repeat itself. But for this young woman it's a very foreign subject. A/N:

This is my new baby, my pride and joy! Hope you guys like it, I finally grow the balls to post my stuff here, I'm starting with this one because I'm very proud of it so far :3 Please be kind lol, my English is not top tier but I'm very happy about of this fic, it came to me in a dream, and I love writing it so muchhh and I hope you all love reading it <3

WARNINGS: Angst, Fluff and Smut, Mutual Pining, Semi Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her mid 20's, Joel is in his 50's), Loss of Virginity, Breeding kink, Religious Guilt, Possessive Sex, Masturbation, Edging, Secret relationship... I'm terrible at this so i'm prolly forgetting something.

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That farm belonged to her father's family for generations, it was four miles away from the city, a big piece of land in Jackson Wyoming, her great great grandfather built it to raise his kids close to nature and animals, he had worked his whole life in other people’s farms, when he saw the opportunity of having his own, he didn’t think twice.

And it was in this farm that her parents met, they knew everyone in town and had a few good friends, but their true shared love was the farm, it was over a hundred years old, and Paul and Laura tended to it with pride and joy every day, before and after his work at the dam and her work in town as a veterinarian. When he met Laura, she fell in love with the farm before falling for him, it happens if you’re a vet with a passion for farm animals. They started talking more when both realized they were both very religious. She lived in town but was often on his farm to check on the animals, with all that going for him every Sunday he would take initiative and would go pick her up early in the morning to go to church, then they would lunch and chat for hours. He fell for her at first sight, when she was over his place, he would always create a reason for her to stay a bit longer, a coffee, a slice of pie, a show he wanted to show her, even though he actually had never seen it before. When they started dating it didn't take long for him to invite her to live with him and it didn't take much longer for her to say yes. Two years later they married and one year later she was pregnant. But what was supposed to be the perfect life, changed one month into the long-awaited pregnancy.

Usually not many people walked past the farm, some lost hikers rarely, but one night someone knocked on the door, Paul and Laura woke up in a panic, he told her to stay quiet and grabbed his gun. -"I'll go with you! Are you crazy?"- She whispered, climbing out of the bed. -"You are pregnant!"- He turned to her, with a raised hand, silently asking for her to stay. -"Yeah, and you are the father!"- She put on her fluffy slippers, and he rolled his eyes. Meanwhile whoever it was downstairs was nearly breaking the door, frantically screaming for help. As Paul opened the bedroom door the noises stopped. "Shit…"- They said at the same time, and slowly walked downstairs. They stopped on the last step, both hearts dropping at the sight. The man that was at the door was now running away from two people towards the barn, but they caught him and started… Eating him? It was far but it sure looked like that. Laura felt sick and sat on the stairs, Paul walked closer to the window and watched in horror as the man screeched out his last scream. -"Holy fuck…"- He whispered to himself; they never swear but that was for sure a different night. Soon other people started to appear from the woods running from others, some they recognized even from afar, friends, neighbors… Another man made it to the front door. Joey, a young florist from town, covered in blood. -"Open the door! For the love of God!"- He screamed, crying his heart out. -"Paul please! Oh my God! I'm going to die!"- Paul looked at Laura. -"What are you waiting for?!"- She got up and walked towards the door, but he stopped her with a hand on her chest and shook his head no. -"Paul, he is hurt!"- She had tears in her eyes. -"We don't know what's going on…"- With his other hand he took her hand from the doorknob. Joey was still crying on the other side, more quietly now… Then silence. They were staring at each other, listening to absolute silence. Paul decided to look through the peephole and he saw Joey squirming and contorting; he could hear the boy’s bones cracking. He stepped away from the door holding his mouth, disgusted and shocked. Before Laura could look too Joey screeched and threw his whole body against the door, over and over again. They jumped back and Laura screamed, the door started to break from its hinges. -"Oh my God!"- Laura held Paul's hand. -"Go! Upstairs! NOW!"- He screamed, and both ran back towards their room, at that same moment the door flung open, and Joey fell inside, climbing the stairs behind them on all fours, screaming. Laura got into the room; Paul quickly closed the door with her inside, turned and shot right as Joey was jumping on him, both fell against the door. -"I'm okay… I think…"- He said, weak, she opened the door and his head hit the ground, Joey was on top of him, dead. -"What the hell it’s going on?..."- She asked, her whole body trembling. Paul pushed the boy away and got up with a grunt.

They stayed up that night, the door was gone, and the people kept coming, they were fast, too fast.

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The day after, Paul fixed the door, and they started building a fence around the farm. Laura wasn't very good at building fences, but she was worst at shooting, so as she built, he watched her back. Everyone they killed they buried and prayed for them, the days were long and tiring, mornings were for building, evenings were for digging graves, nights were for praying and trying to rest their tired bodies and minds, which was also a task.

After two weeks no one would show up anymore, no monsters nor people, Paul was able to help with the fence and after two more weeks it was done.

After that they never left the farm anymore, rarely a monster would show up and they would kill and bury it, it was a sickening routine.

Months went by and they didn't even notice, their days were quiet and sad, they weren't that happy chatty couple they once were, but they still felt connected by the farm work and would always sleep holding each other.

Their daughter was born in the bathtub, Laura always wanted a water birth. Everything went smoothly and from that day forward they found joy in life again.

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A year later Paul was feeding the horses and chatting with Laura when a group of three approached the farm's gate. Paul told Laura to go and she ran inside as he grabbed the gun from his back and walked towards the gate. They talked for a short period and Paul lowered his gun and relaxed, Laura was watching from the window when her husband motioned for her to come. She would like to hear what they had to say, he thought. It was the first time in months they saw people, alive at least. And it was the first time they were introduced to the fact that a community was being created in the city. They explained what they knew about the infection and the outbreak, and told them they should go to the city, the real danger in their area now wasn't the infected but raiders.

They talked for hours that night and decided to stay in the farm, but they helped the townsfolk with everything they could. Maria and her father used to go there at least once a week, at first for business and ideas on how to properly use the dam, for ideas on how to build a sustainable community and how could they potentially live as the good ol'days, Laura had many good ideas for that, she used to daydream about the normal world every waking hour and dream about it when she was asleep. Soon they didn't talk about business at all when they visited, they chatted and cooked food, laughed and drank whiskey. They were friends, family.

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After two years they wouldn't bury the infected anymore because they started to change, sometimes both of them question that in silence, they were people once, just that should give them the right to a proper burial, were they just scared to get too close, to touch them? They didn't talk about that, but by the way they looked at each other after seeing an infected was proof they both share those awful feelings. They would still pray for their souls and Laura would often cry in the bathroom, Y/N would often listen because she was always following her mother around, she didn’t know why she cried so much.

As Y/N grew she learnt how to do everything around the farm, from a very young age she was already into it. They rarely visited the community and that didn't bother her at all, she didn’t know better, but they argued sometimes about the fact that she should be around other kids, at her age she should be going to school and having fun, but they would always settle back to the idea of being on the farm. "Imagine if it all happens again but we are surrounded by people'' they used to say, the farm was isolated, but it was safe, they were alive until then because they were isolated in the first place. So, they homeschooled Y/N, taught her everything they knew and like that the years went by.

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When she was ten, she woke up before her parents because of chatting at the front door. She opened her bedroom door slowly and met her father doing the same, he put a finger in front of his lips telling her to not make a noise. She followed him downstairs, Paul felt her holding the hem of his shirt and felt chills down his spine, it was like history was repeating itself, but now there was a little girl involved, she shouldn’t have to go through all that terror. He suddenly felt strong and protective, as they reached the last step, the chatting had stopped, he opened the door and pointed his gun out, looking around, but there was no one, his blood ran cold as his brain created all kinds of scenarios, this could be a trap, he was lightheaded when suddenly his daughter’s voice woke him up.

-"Dad! Look!"- She pointed towards the barn, there were two people trying to jump the fence, he looked but looked down even faster, his daughter's scream had woken up the reason the couple were there and were now running away, a baby, a few months old at max.

-"Holy Mother of Jesus…"- He bent down to grabbed the basket, Y/N had both hands on her mouth, in shock and already in love with the tiny little baby.

-"Laura! Laura!" - He called his wife with tears in his eyes. When she climbed down she almost fell on her ass when she saw the child in her husband's arms and immediately started to cry, Y/N watched as the couple finally jumped to the other side and disappeared. She felt like she would never forget that sight. And like that they became a family of four. They named her Dakota.

It was a blessing having Dakota around, Y/N always wanted a sister and a brother, and her parents always wanted a big family, but that dream died when the infected were born.

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As Y/N started to become a young lady, they were glad they controlled everything their daughters knew and had access to, they wouldn’t even let the girls be around after dinner when Maria and their friends were there. Y/N used to go to her room and leave the door just a slit open and sit by it to try to listen to something, a story, an adventure, something about the old world. Somedays her parents liked to drink after dinner and cuddle by the fire, they used to remember and laugh about how wild teenagers were back in the day, and how their daughters were angels, Y/N remember listening to this, and she did feel that way sometimes… Wild. One day when Y/N was seventeen she went to the community alone for the first time. She had argued with her mother because she didn't want to study the Bible anymore, she knew everything word by word and thought it was baloney and her mother freaked out, how could she say that that in front of her little sister, she should be an example and yada yada, her high pitched screams made Dakota cry and that made her mother even more angry, while her father was trying to soothe the situation, Y/N sneaked out, grabbed a horse and left. Getting there, she went straight to the library and browsed books for hours, anything was more entertaining than that old bible she had read countless times. She decided to take a book where the main character had her name and went back. She hid the book on the second floor of the barn and went inside to face her parents' wreath, after hours of arguing and lots of crying they all went to bed without dinner, except Dakota who wasn't mad or sad with anyone and was as hungry as any other day. In her room she regretted sneaking out, her mother’s face when she came back was unforgettable and so heartbroken, the fear and disappointment on her father’s face was all too much, why did she do that? What did she get from such an extreme action? Nothing… She thought, but when she closed her eyes she saw the books, all those stories and that smell… Oh the smell. She smiled to herself, she remembered all the times she would open the bible expecting a new story to appear on the pages, she remembered the few adventure stories her father used to tell her and her sister, she always wanted more, and now she had it, it wasn’t all for nothing.

She woke up early the next day and went straight to the second floor of the barn and hid the stairs. Their parents tried talking to her and bribing her with an apple pie but she wouldn't come down. Not because she was angry or sad, but because she learnt what the book was about, it was a romance, she never heard or even thought of those things, she didn't know what she was feeling but it was as good as it was new, It felt wrong and that made it even better she didn't know why, it made her giggle and blush and that was so funny for her. She barely blinked, she couldn't stop reading. It was lunch time already and her tummy was growling. She hid the book again and climbed down. After a few very long apologies it was all back to normal. Lunch was great and afterwards she helped her father around the farm, both enthusiastically teaching Dakota everything, Y/N was so good with plants and harvest that her father couldn’t do it without his daughter anymore, Dakota thought her sister was the smartest woman in the whole world and so did Paul, he loved that his girl was getting better than him, he couldn’t be more proud, sometimes even playing dumb just to listen to her explaining everything with unmatchable gusto, she also helped her mother around the house a bit ignoring her anxious heart and her butterfly filled stomach. That night she snuck out and slept in the barn after reading the book until her cheeks were hurting from smiling and laughing.

After that book their life changed a bit, coincidentally, because of another book, they started to visit the community more often after Maria planted the idea of bible study and Laura loved it, Maria was always trying to convince them to move to their community, maybe this time it would work.

The class was actually a success. Laura was very religious but after the outbreak she started to question everything, in a healthy way, in a way she could explore other beliefs, even atheism and hate. And that's what the class was all about, a place to explore the bible with an open heart, like a piece of art, a place to believe or find out religion is not for you and that's completely fine, a place for counseling, for sharing, a safe place.

While Laura was teaching Y/N would always go to the library, Dakota would stay for the classes then play with other kids afterwards and Paul would help around and chat with the few old friends that were still there. Before sunset they would all gather in front of the barn to go back home.

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Her teenage years flew by, and she was now a young woman allowed to go to the community alone, Laura could swear her goal was to read every book ever printed, and if that was the goal going to Jackson only once a week with her family wasn’t nearly enough, plus Y/N was great with any weapons, fast on her horse and was of great help to the community. She was a brilliant botanist, great with any type of food management, had a sniffer dog’s nose for a good harvest and an eagle’s eyes for improvement on the crops, animal stock and every kind of dairy production, a bit awkward around people but that did not prevent Maria from asking her to pass on her knowledge to the townsfolk.

She was allowed to bring Dakota to her classes, three times a week, and soon enough her parents started going there that frequently. Dakota made friends quickly and that worried Paul and Laura a bit, but it was undeniably good to be there, a few months into this new routine and they were all spending the entire days there, the would go early in the morning to help around and after their classes they would cook dinner, help around or just chat and have fun.

-"You guys should come live here."- Maria said to Laura one day, she had forgotten how many times she had suggested that over the years. -"There is space for your animals and there are many good houses. We would love to have you guys around."- She smiled softly and put a hand on Laura's shoulder. But they wouldn't budge, even Y/N was okay living on the farm, she was quite socially awkward and she loved her old room. Dakota was confused, she loved the city more than everyone in her household but it was scary to change her lifestyle like that.

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Half a year went by, and Y/N was in the library planning her class when a young girl, Dakota's age, walked in with Maria, she seemed to be showing her the community. "New people" she thought and went back to writing. That evening when she arrived home, she noticed her father's horse wasn't there. "Father is still in town?" She wondered what he was doing. As she approached her house the smell of burned wood invaded her nose, her mother was cooking. She walked towards the kitchen and watched her mom clean up the counter while humming a church song. -"Where is dad?"- Y/N asked and her mom turned to her with a jump. -"Good gracious young lady, a warning please!"- She took a hand to her chest and exhaled a laugh before answering. -"Tommy asked him to help with the night watch, he went early to meet the guys, you know your father, friendly as a golden retriever…"- They laughed. -"Never thought you guys would get this involved with the community, that's amazing…"- She smiled at her mother who was smiling back, softly. -"We are doing it for our girls…"- She walked towards her daughter and cupped her cheek lovingly, Y/N put her hand on top of her mother's and looked at her. -"Dishes are yours."- She winked and walked away laughing, Y/N rolled her eyes, sighed and got to work.

She couldn't sleep properly that night thinking about her dad out there. She has known Tommy since her teenage years, but who were the other guys? She couldn’t help but wonder if they were nice, friendly? “They’re Tommy’s friends… I’m overthinking….”.

She woke up before the sun and waited for her father to return sitting on her window, when she saw him in the distance she rushed to him. -"Dad!"- She screamed and waved, running to help him with the gate. She was in her pajamas and barefoot. -"Sweetie! What are you doing barefoot, you catch a splinter or somethin’!"- He laughed looking at his daughter and jumping off his horse. -"I barely sleep, I was so worried! How was it?"- She opened the gate quickly and hugged her dad. He grunted, coughed and giggled. -"I'm okay sweetie… It was quite fun actually."- He gently pushed her away and continued while walking towards the barn. -"You know Tommy is very funny, thank God he was there, if I stayed the whole night with just his brother I would have died of boredom!"- He chuckled.

-"Tommy has a brother?"- She asked, looking at him curiously.

-"Yes, older brother, just arrived… Guy is as close as a clam, I've heard around town that he is quite violent too…"- He looked at his daughter and shrugged. -"He has a daughter, same age as Dakota, the little girl seems to like him alot so guess he has a sweet side, or the girl it's a little weirdo like him…"- Paul laughed taking the cell off the horse's back and placing it in its place.

-"What's his name?"- Y/N asked.

-"Joel…And the girl's name… I don't remember…"- Paul petted the horse goodbye and wrapped his arm around his daughter's shoulders, pulled her close and walked back home with her.

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Two weeks later Paul was doing night watches two times a week. He was growing closer to Joel, it turned out they had a lot in common even though one was a talking machine and the other a brick wall. Tommy and Paul gave Joel headaches sometimes but he secretly liked the company, he missed the warmth of having friends, and hearing his brother's laugh was refreshing. Paul was officially going to town everyday after the farm chores. Y/N and Dakota were planning on asking to go with him, Y/N wanted to study and read and perhaps make some friends and Dakota wanted to go to school with her many friends. But they were afraid of Laura's reaction, she was already arguing quite a lot with Paul about his new routine.

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Almost a month went by and the girl she saw in the library walked into her class, Y/N wondered if that was Joel's daughter. -"Hello there! Welcome!"- She smiled and waved at the little girl. She waved back awkwardly, looking around the greenhouse. -"What's your name?"- Y/N asked. -"Ellie…"- She answered, checking out a big tomato that was hanging from its branch. -"Nice to meet you Ellie, I'm Y/N, today we're learning about the different types of tubers and how to care for them."- Y/N looked at the few kids in her class then back to Ellie. -"Tubers…"- the girl said to herself. She continued her class, Ellie was walking around the green house, uninterested, eventually laughing at some words she found funny, the kids in the class were looking at her, but the adults weren't phased by it, new kids were always like that, adults sometimes too, slowly approaching the class or leaving without a warning, sitting far away and anything in between.

By the end of the class Dakota rushed to talk to Ellie and Y/N smiled to herself when she saw Ellie smiling at her sister, she sure had a way with people. She gathered her stuff and walked past them after closing the greenhouse, they started to laugh so she looked back still walking, two steps later she pumped into someone. -"I'm sorry…"- She turned to see his chest and large shoulders, covered in a green flannel, her eyes went up and he was looking down at her with a shy smile on the corner of his lips. -"S'okay…"- He said, and she felt a shiver up and down her body. She was staring at him, mouth ajar. -"I'm here for…"- before he could finish Ellie came running and punched his arm. -"Hey sleepyhead!"- She said all happy. He smiled with his lips. -"I do night watches, what’s your excuse to sleep all day?"- They smiled at each other playfully. -"Look! I invited Dakota to eat some cake at home, so yeah, bye!"- She waved bye to Joel and to Y/N and Dakota followed her. He turned to ask them something, but Ellie tagged Dakota and they started to run.

-"That's my sister…"- Y/N finally remembered how to speak, and he turned back to her, making her heart skip a beat again at the sight of his gorgeous face.

-"Yeah, I've seen you around…"- He scratched his beard. -"I'm Joel…"- and reached for a handshake.

-"I'm Y/N…"- She smiled and took his hand.

-"Tommy told me about your class, he said you're great…"- He shook her hand, looking at her with big brown eyes, his large hand, warm and calloused, completely engulfing hers. She smiled and stared back. He let her go and cleaned his throat. -"Paul's daughter right? The little library mouse…"- He said as if it was nothing but to her it felt like he knocked the air out of her lungs. -"He… he called me that?.. "- She asked, staring at him, her cheeks burning.

-"No, I did, he just said you are always in that old building…"- He squinted his eyes ever so slightly, finding it weird how she kept staring at him even while clearly embarrassed, but Maria told him that she was skittish like a cat, he thought that was very cute but didn't believe her until now. -"Well, see ya around."- He smiled with his eyes and walked away.

As he walked away, it took her a second to process him. When it clicked, her heart dropped and she rushed to the library, threw her things at a table and looked for that first book she read. She sat on the table with it, flipping pages quickly as if her life depended on finding that specific paragraph, that description.

"He was older than me, way older some might argue, I knew that, but something pulled me to him, maybe it was his musky scent and mainly looks, maybe it was the desire to discover who he could be beside that shell he created for himself. He was known for being violent, angry and very grumpy but his big brown eyes hid a kindness to them, I constantly catch myself wondering how gorgeous he would look when he smiled, but he never did, only with his eyes, rarely, his salt and pepper curls and beard gave him a somehow approachable appearance, fatherly and warm, his voice made my whole body tingle the few times I've heard, husky and low, his whole face and body, sculpted by a perfectionist God, every wrinkle, every pore. Don't let me start on his broad shoulders and strong arms, oh how I have spent my nights thinking about how he could lift me up with no effort at all, pin me against a wall and kiss me deeply, his lips looked so soft, I would let him kiss me, as much as he needed, I would let him use me until my body crumbles on me, until my body is rearranged for him. He doesn't know this, he can't know how my body begs for him, how my body aches for his calloused hands, for his warm tongue and large…"

She closed the book and placed it roughly on the table beside her, not wanting to look at it. It was him. She dreamed about that man for years, none of the other books she'd read had hit her like that one, none of the other men in them had stuck with her like that, gotten under her skin like he did, unphased even after all those years, the perfect specimen in her mind and heart and now in her core too. -"Oh my goodness gracious…"- She whispered to herself and caressed the book cover without looking at it. Her body felt foreign, sinful. Her mind was rushing. It can't be that bad… Right? She thought. Afterall she wasn't in love nor planning to get married. It's okay, she thought when she realized she was overthinking, he didn't even feel the same way, why would he? She took a deep breath and cleaned her mind, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of embarrassment about how awkward she was, how innocent, she was still that bible study girl after all, afraid of God, and afraid of sin, she wasn't nearly as cool and powerful as the girls in her books, she was just a little library mouse… Maybe in that case, that a good thing…

Y/N left the library with the book in her purse and asked the guy, who was the librarian of the day where Joel and Ellie lived. She wanted to take her sister and go back home early that day.

She stood in front of the house for a minute, unable to knock. "Get yourself together…" she said in her mind, and knocked before another thought occurred.

-"Who is it?"- It was Ellie's voice, and she allowed herself to relax.

-"It's Y/N, I'm here for…"- Her sentence was cut short when Joel opened the door, his flannel was gone, he was wearing a black shirt that was too tight for him.

-"Hi…"- He looked at her, unreadable, voice deliciously low.

-"Can you call Dakota for me please, we have to get going…"- Her voice was small as she fought the urge to bite her lower lip and avoided his gaze.

-"Do you wanna come in for a while?"- He asked playfully, probably because he noticed her peeking at the inside of his house because she couldn't look at him for more than a second.

-"What?! No! No, thanks… Hum…I…"- Before her cheeks could go completely red, he asked another question.

-"What do you like to read?"- He leaned on the door frame, and she felt like dying, and she would've died happy.

-"Bo… Books about what I teach…"- She held her purse strap tight and looked up at his biceps and forearms towering over her and gulped.

-"Nice…"- His low voice sending chills up her thighs.

-"At your age I enjoyed romance and thrillers."- He discreetly looked at her, from head to toe, her hair on a messy bun, pink lips, adorable summer dress, and cleavage… He inhaled sharply.

-"I'll call Dakota, you wait right here."- He walked in leaving the door open.

She turned from the door, let out a breath and gasped for another one, her face never felt so hot, she wondered how pathetic she looked. -”Holy shit!”- It came out as fast as her hand came up to slap her mouth three times, a tick she had since she was little, every time she said a swear word, she would slap her mouth.

-"Were you swearing?"- Dakota asked from behind her and she jumped.

-"No, yes, sorry…"- She looked at Dakota and placed a kiss on her forehead, the little girl was holding a piece of cake and Ellie was right behind her, almost resting her head on her friend's shoulder.

-"Ellie told me to give it to you… She is very proud of her first cake!"- Dakota giggled and looked at Ellie over her shoulder, she was rolling her eyes, her cheeks pinker than usual.

-"Thanks Ellie! You should be proud, it looks and smells great!"- Y/N smiled and Ellie did too, shy as could be, Joel approached slowly.

-"Okay, so, bye Ellie!"- Dakota waved to her new friend and jumped down the four steps on her front porch.

-"See you tomorrow right?"- Ellie asked, walking past the door frame, seeking Dakota's attention.

-"Sure, I'll talk to my parents about it."- Dakota said with a smile and started to skip towards the barn. Y/N and Ellie waved to each other as the little girl squeezed herself beside Joel to walk back into the house. He cleaned his throat and said.

-"They want to go to the movies tomorrow…"- Joel crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame.

-"Cool…"- She said, distracted by his incredibly large shoulders.

-"You stare a lot…"- He smirked the smallest of smirks.

-"I'm… I'm sorry…"- She quickly turned to walk away.

-"I like it, s'cute."- His smirk widened a bit and she was completely unable to speak, held in place by his words, she was thankful that he couldn't see her face, her wide eyes and flushed cheeks, meanwhile he took his time to analyze her body again, the thin straps of her dress on her delicate shoulders, the many strands of hair falling from her bun, the way her dress held her ribs and danced with every warm summer breeze. He smiled to himself.

-"Would be great if you'd come too…"- He said before his brain could process it. If Y/N wasn't red as it could be already, she was now. She turned back to him, eyes wide. -”Tomorrow my father will go fishing and I always help my mum to clean the fishes and…”-

Her voice was getting smaller with each word, she almost thanked him when he interrupted her. -“S’okay… I can help…”- He just stared at her.

She didn't want to think about that, she just nodded and instead of the good old “goodnight” she just smiled awkwardly then rushed to meet her sister. Joel watched her run away, exhaled a tiny laugh through his nose and walked back in to cook dinner and hopefully find out why he invited her so abruptly.

She followed her sister who was now a few feet in front. She decided that stuffing her face with cake was a good way to stop thinking about him. The cake was great but it only made her think more about him.Did he help her bake? Was he a good cook? What was his favorite meal, favorite sweet treat? Her head was spinning but it felt weirdly good.

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It took a lot of talking to convince Paul and Laura to allow them to go to the movies, but they won that battle, after cleaning the dishes the sisters ran upstairs to Dakota’s room and talked about the upcoming day for hours, they heard about cinema and movies before but never watched it, much less in a big screen, Dakota describe it to Y/N as Ellie had described to her that night, it seems absurd and fantastic. Y/N loved how much about the world her little sister knew about. They talked about what story they wanted to watch as a movie, Y/N had many stories on her mind, but Dakota wanted something bible related and she thought that was funny, they don't even remember falling asleep, it had been a while since they slept together, in the morning it felt sweet and nostalgic, Y/N remembered when they used to have slumber parties and late nigh tea raves as they used to call.

After breakfast Y/N put on her boots and left to tend to the animals, they were probably waiting for her, she secretly gave them fruit salads during summer.

While brushing her horse she heard someone else walk in the stable.

-"Dad?"- She asked without looking.

-"I'm looking for him as well…"- A man said. She turned around with a gasp and when she saw Joel she gasped again, her whole body exploding with goosebumps.

-"Dear lord!"- She caught her breath and he exhaled a laugh.

-"Didn't know I was that ugly."- He said approaching her.

-"I just wasn't expecting you…"- She stuttered a bit, already red as one of her tomatoes. -"... And you are not… ugly…"- She was staring again, at his strong neck and chest.

-"You are not ugly too…"- He walked closer and petted her horse over her shoulder, she took a deep breath, he smelled amazing, she looked up to his eyes and he was already looking down at her, she felt lightheaded.

-"Look who's here!"- Paul's voice made her exhale a very shaky breath as Joel turned to greet his friend. With large steps they met in the middle of the stable and hugged, slapping each other's backs.

-"Damn you are punctual, I was just finishing some tasks but Y/N can do it for me, right sweetie?’’- Paul winked at her and she just nodded.

-‘’I'll go kiss Laura goodbye and grab some lunch for us, be right back."- Paul slapped his friend's arm and ran back home. Joel walked towards the stable entrance and looked around the farm, you could see it all from there, even the river in the horizon. It was a beautiful piece of land, even prettier under the summer sun. Joel always wanted to own a farm, it was his idea of an ideal life. She approached him slowly.

-"It's gorgeous right?''- She said, now beside him.

-"You are very lucky…''- He looked at her and she looked stunning, the breeze blowing her hair ever so slightly, the thin layer of sweat on her neck, her gorgeous lips, tired eyes looking so lovingly at her farm, her breast so soft under her white dress, it was an old dress and under that strong sun it turned a bit transparent, he swallowed dry and looked away, in a fraction of a second he thought of them as a couple, taking care of that farm and having kids, he felt like he would want her pregnant all the time, fuck, how amazing she would look pregnant in those summer dresses. He snapped out of it when he felt his dick twitch. "What the fuck Joel, you are older than her dad!" He cursed himself in his mind and cleaned his throat. His eyes found Paul and Laura in the distance, kissing passionately, he looked at Y/N with the intention of telling her goodbye but she was staring at her parents, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

-"I've never kissed anyone… Is it good?"- She asked looking up at him, he nearly choked on his saliva and looked away, unable to stare back at her after that. He watched as Paul walked towards them, he knew she was still looking at him, waiting for an answer.

-"It is… It's very good…"- His heart was pounding and his face was red hot.

-"I want to be kissed…"- She whispered to herself and looked forward again, he tensed up and there was that damn twitch again. "Holy shit!" he thought as he adjusted his pants.

-"What are you two talking about?"- Paul asked as he walked in between them, into the stable. She looked at Joel again, his eyes meeting hers finally and he parted his mouth a bit looking at her wanting lips.

-"Nothing dad, just small talk…" - She said looking at Joel’s lips for a moment before walking towards her dad to help him prepare his horse, he felt empty without her eyes on him, but forced himself to ignore those feelings and walked towards his horse a few steps away from the barn.

They left for the lake and Y/N finished the tasks alone, she did it all automatically, only realizing some hours had passed when the afternoon breeze creeped under her dress. After cleaning the pigsty she sat under a tree to rest, but resting wasn't easy. She was trying to think how it would feel to kiss Joel, she touched her lips and closed her eyes, wondering if it was a sin to feel the way she felt for him, she leaned back and thought how amazing it would be to be the lady in the book, didn’t she deserve an intense romance adventure? Didn’t she deserve Joel? She fell asleep as she revisited a paragraph of the book in her mind.

"He walked into her room as she was sleeping and sat next to her bed, he watched her turning and moaning in her sleep and sighed, angry. He couldn't take it anymore, every moment without his hands on her was a wasted one, every day without hearing her voice was a disrespect for the blessing of hearing, every night they didn't spend sharing breaths and gasps was a night forgotten.

He leaned forward and cupped her cheek, she looked so peaceful, what was she dreaming about? Was there a possibility that it was about him?

She put her hand on his and opened her eyes. -"What are you doing?"- she whispered. Before he could think of an answer he risked never seeing her again, risked being hated by her family and their mutual friends and leaned down for a kiss, she gasped but closer her eyes again, accepting him, his lips was everything she ever dreamt of, so soft compared to his rough beard, his male scent mixed with the leather from his jacket was inebriating, then finally his tongue, so hot and tasty, like it was made to dance with hers, his frustrated moans even while doing something he desired for so long showed her he wanted to do so much more, now that he tasted her his desire only grew, he needed her all the time, anywhere…"

She woke up with a short gasp and looked around, as she got up and walked to her house, she wondered how they were doing, had they caught any fish… Were they swimming? The thought alone made her turn towards the lake and smile, a naughty smile that turned into a giggle. She covered her mouth still giggling and walked towards her house to get rid of all that dirt and get ready for the movie night in a few hours.

#tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller

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