#dirty heathen

[doctorwhoisadhd]

i cant wait to start my next fuck up!!!!! ill stay by ur side for a while :]

[st4rfckerz]

i'll forever blame alyssa for the decuntification of sam

[queercodedvillains]

I firmly believe kishimoto made deidara say "I'm not into S&M" because he KNEW everyone clocked his bratty bottom vibe off the bat and he needed to make a canon occurrence to point at to disprove it but the thing is he doesn't know Deidara like I do!! he has noooo idea he accidentally created a queer icon. But I do. And no posthumous editorialization will ever overshadow that.

[histskins]

i have a house guest who was living in the outdoor garage for a few days and finally got the courage to come out to us yesterday

[snnynatural]

no throat is safe from sonny

[everyoneonthenormandyisgay]

@luckyspacerabbit for their poll inspiring this one lol

[katierosefun]

coming out of church with my family after the pastor really looked me dead in the eye in his sermon and said “homosexuality is a sin” . . . segueing right into listening to my sluttiest playlist bc yes sir that is right!

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Sometimes I will make a batch of homemade cream cheese frosting, and not bake a cake. 

On purpose. 

Then proceed to consume it at my leisure. 

Without cake. 

Cake is overrated, at least most cake is.

Cream cheese frosting, however, is not!

Cake is the pasta of the dessert world: that bland substrate we are forced to endure in order to get the good part: The Sauce/The Frosting.

Like eating leftover pasta sauce with saltines, cream cheese frosting goes well with graham crackers, especially with a dollop of Bon Mammon Raspberry Preserves atop, if you must know.

You started to get up out of your chair to go see if you have any cream cheese in the fridge, didn’t you?

. 

[jesterghost]

yall i need a crash course in passive aggressivity and how to avoid it

[stevessundae]

Lord give me strength- all of you are giving me blue balls. I think I'm gonna go die in a corner now.

[binch-i-might-be]

I'm going insane my brother put dirty dishes into the dishwasher BEFORE taking the clean ones out???? boy are you stupid???

[phasingphoenix]

I put in an application for a different job 🙃🙃🙃 as a prank 🙃🙃🙃🙃 a silly joke 🙃🙃🙃🙃 we don't mean it

[thanatoseyes]

Has anyone ever made a deck of playing cards based off of the Devil's Cartomantic Mnemonic?

[capnlinnius]

jesus is that you

[flammenxci]

[human-monokuma]

Event: The Lonely Cub in Hell

*In the depth of hell, a wailing cry echoes throughout the night of acid rain. You hear that very cry as you were going on about your business. Eventually, you find the source of the crying in an alleyway. You see what looks like a small baby bear. A cub with black and white fur. The fur on the left side was black with a red mark over its eye and the right side was white. It was crying loudly to the heavens, tears in its eyes, and looking beyond miserable. It was shivering, covered in mud and fleas, and seemed like it was starving. Upon a closer look, it looked like one of its legs was broken. By it's scent, it seems to be a new arrival in hell. He must've died recet What happened to this cub? A sad, lonely, hungry, cold, dirty, defenseless cub in the pits of hell.*

Sinner: "There it is!" *A few angry sinners arrive on the scene, glaring angryly at the crying bear cub. Th sinners surrounds the poor cub.* "Hey! Shut the fuck up, already! Some of us are trying to sleep!" *But the cub couldn't bring himself to stop. He tries, but it just erupts in more cries. The sinners are looking angrier and angrier by the second. What will you do?*

@sinistersmiles @fall-of-eden @xxcottoncandybitchxx @xxstaticontheradioxx @dojokento @respectless @cxndiesandstrxwberries @smiling-cervidae(2P) @bartender-husk @a-house-divided @tobys-multiverse-official @domini-inferni(Rosie, Zestial, Carmila, and/or the Vees.) @setting-morningstar @tainted-heavenly-heathenism @the-vampire-den @d4y-0f-judg3m3nt @forbidden-evearice