#do we talk about how i live in the arse end of nowhere (conservative small town yorkshire) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fingertipsmp3 · 2 years

Text

Like I genuinely don’t know what to say when people ask me why I’m single because there are so many reasons, and honestly if you’ve met me in person and spent more than 5 minutes in my presence and are still confused, I just don’t know what to tell you

#like do we talk about the fact that i’m questioning my sexuality AND my gender at the age of 26 #do we talk about how i’m so out of touch with my emotions that i don’t even know if i’ve ever had a crush or been in love #do we talk about how goddamn fucking weird i am #do we talk about how i’m simultaneously touch averse and touch starved so i’m worried that if i got one good honest kiss i’d disintegrate #do we talk about how the one time i WAS kissed i completely froze because i couldn’t get my head around it for like. minutes.#and by the time i was kind of okay with it he was already doing other stuff without my consent and now That whole experience has damaged me #(we don’t talk about that)#do we talk about how i can barely hold a normal conversation; never mind flirt #do we talk about my body image issues #do we talk about how abrasive and secretive i am for no goddamn reason #do we talk about my almost uncanny ability to say exactly the wrong thing in every situation #do we talk about how i am HORRENDOUS at messaging so dating apps don’t work for me #do we talk about how i live in the arse end of nowhere (conservative small town yorkshire)#do we talk about how i literally just don’t know how to be a person. still. after almost 27 years #and this is without even touching on how i look physically which.. okay beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that #but seriously. S E R I O U S L Y. why anyone would pick me when they could have literally anyone else is beyond me #i’ll tell you what i look like. i look like if one of botticelli’s models was 6’1; very wide; completely dead inside & had horrible posture #is there an audience for that?? i just don’t know #i just genuinely think there’s no one out there for me. and if there was i probably wouldn’t want them; or be able to keep their good will.#thanks for listening #personal

1 note · View note