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#do we talk about how abrasive and secretive i am for no goddamn reason
fingertipsmp3 · 2 years
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Like I genuinely don’t know what to say when people ask me why I’m single because there are so many reasons, and honestly if you’ve met me in person and spent more than 5 minutes in my presence and are still confused, I just don’t know what to tell you
#like do we talk about the fact that i’m questioning my sexuality AND my gender at the age of 26#do we talk about how i’m so out of touch with my emotions that i don’t even know if i’ve ever had a crush or been in love#do we talk about how goddamn fucking weird i am#do we talk about how i’m simultaneously touch averse and touch starved so i’m worried that if i got one good honest kiss i’d disintegrate#do we talk about how the one time i WAS kissed i completely froze because i couldn’t get my head around it for like. minutes.#and by the time i was kind of okay with it he was already doing other stuff without my consent and now That whole experience has damaged me#(we don’t talk about that)#do we talk about how i can barely hold a normal conversation; never mind flirt#do we talk about my body image issues#do we talk about how abrasive and secretive i am for no goddamn reason#do we talk about my almost uncanny ability to say exactly the wrong thing in every situation#do we talk about how i am HORRENDOUS at messaging so dating apps don’t work for me#do we talk about how i live in the arse end of nowhere (conservative small town yorkshire)#do we talk about how i literally just don’t know how to be a person. still. after almost 27 years#and this is without even touching on how i look physically which.. okay beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that#but seriously. S E R I O U S L Y. why anyone would pick me when they could have literally anyone else is beyond me#i’ll tell you what i look like. i look like if one of botticelli’s models was 6’1; very wide; completely dead inside & had horrible posture#is there an audience for that?? i just don’t know#i just genuinely think there’s no one out there for me. and if there was i probably wouldn’t want them; or be able to keep their good will.#thanks for listening#personal
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mysterylover123 · 5 years
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My Top 20 BKDK Moments (So Far)
by mysterylover123
Warning, anime onlys: I’ll be mentioning Manga stuff, though only 2 of them are all that spoiler-y
#20. YOU MADE THAT BORROWED POWER  YOUR OWN
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3.19 “RUSH!” Provisional License Exam Arc
What Happens: Bakugo asks Midoriya if he’s made ‘that borrowed power’ his own, complimenting him indirectly by saying that of course he passed. Deku gets super excited at being complimented by him.
Why I like it: For all the shit they throw at one another early on, BK & DK do really look up to/respect each other. They won’t admit it easily, but scenes like this (and a later scene in Chapter 194, where Deku compliments Kacchan and he too reacts extremely) showcase that respect. I love it. Also, Kacchan knows Deku’s AM’s inheritor already.
#19. HAVE YOU GOTTEN ANY BETTER? (Manga)
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Chapter 168 “The Strange Tale of Aoyama” Interlude arcs
What happens. Post Internship arc, Bakugo asks Deku if he’s gotten any better since they last talked. Deku says no, and Bakugo reminds him that he said he’d surpass him. This prompts Deku to work harder.
Why I like it: Ideal RivalShipping is about two characters pushing each other to be their best selves. Bakugo is great at getting Deku to try harder, just as Deku prompts his best self.
#18. YOUR QUIRK IS AMAZING, KACCHAN
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Backstory flashback, multiple times. Mostly Battle Trial Arc
What happens: Baby Deku and Kacchan walk through the woods together, talking about quirks, before DK is found to be quirkless. This is one of many scenes of Baby Deku and Kacchan being casual friends.
Why I like it: I love the cute scenes of them as kids, where they seem to be actual friends and hang out together, bonding over All-Might and quirks and heroes. I hope we get to see them hang out like that again as adults some day.
#17. SECRET OFA TALKS (MANGA SPOILERS!)
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Chapter 217: End of joint Training Arc
What Happens: Kacchan joins in the AM and Deku talks (for the 2nd time) to discuss what’s happening with OFA. He also works with Deku on trying to master his new ability.
Why I like it: Bakugo is instantly able to help Deku zero in on the information he needs up joining the secret OFA talks, in a way that AM wasn’t able to. He makes a great partner for Deku here, getting right to the point and refusing to waste time.
#16. “I COULD MOVE LIKE KACCHAN”
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Hero-Killer Arc, 2.14-2.19
What Happens: Deku is trying to master OFA. He thinks about how he wants to move, and uses Kacchan’s moves as his model. He’s able to discover Full Cowling like this, which lets him fight Stain and do well in the race - and everyone notices (Iida, Uraraka, Todoroki, Bakugo) that he’s moving like Kacchan.
Why I like it: Deku has lots of moments where he thinks “What would Kacchan do” or tries to model himself on the guy. He admires the crap out of him - but not in the blind way he tries to imitate AM, or Ochaco tries to imitate Deku, or Iida Ingenium. Because Deku doesn’t hero-worship Baku, but sees his flaws, he’s able to imitate him without losing himself.
#15. “HE’S AMAZING”
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Battle Trial Arc, 1.07-1.08
What happens: Midoriya and Uraraka are pitted against Kacchan and Iida in mock battle. Midoriya goes on and on and on about how awesome Kacchan is and how much he wants to beat him - first in a speech to Uraraka, later telling Bakugo to his face.
Why I like it: Deku really looks up to Kacchan, and even at their most adversarial, he still talks about him in positive terms and speaks of him as a cool guy he wants to surpass. Deku doing this is also good for Bakugo, since he’s able to acknowledge his flaws and strengths without kissing his ass like his sidekicks in middle school; Deku beating him upsets his pride and sets off his Character Development.
#14. TWIN STARS OF CLASS 1-A
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3.17 Class 1-A, License Exam Arc
What Happens: Aizawa meta’s about his class with Ms Joke, explaining that Deku and Kacchan are the center of every Class A incident, and despite not getting along, their presence elevates everyone else up.
Why I like it: The staff of UA seem to ship BKDK. They teamed them up to fight AM and encourage them to get along. Aizawa sees clearly how each one inspires everyone else. This speech groups them together as a duo who act in tandem. Twin Stars.
#13. “THE MOST AMAZING HERO ALWAYS WINS IN THE END.”
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2.24 “Katsuki Bakugo origin” Flashback
What happens. Baby Kacchan fights off a bunch of older kids, even though he’s in tears. Baby Deku watches him from afar and looks deeply impressed.
Why I like it: Deku seems to have admired Kacchan since he was really, really young. I’m not sure when this scene takes place, but Deku’s big smile and wide, shining eyes when watching Bakugo seem like a mark of affection and love to me.
#12. ABOUT MY/YOUR SHOOT STYLE
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3.23 Deku vs Kacchan Part 2
What happens: Post Fight, under house arrest alone, Deku and Kacchan have a very civil conversation, where depending on the translation either Deku brings up Shoot style and asks for advice, or Kacchan offers it on his own. Ends with Deku smiling.
Why I like it: Post-DVK2, they immediately establish that they’re now capable of talking to each other in civil terms. Kacchan gives Deku civil advice, and despite saying ‘it pissed me off’, the whole exchange is beautifully positive.
#11. GET OUT OF MY WAY, DEKU
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1.12 All Might USJ Arc
What happens: Deku jumps in to save Al Might and is nearly killed by Kurogiri. At the last second Kacchan saves him by taking down Kurogiri. Also Later Kacchan is nearly killed and Deku screams in horror.
Why I like it: Bakugo doesn’t have a ton of scenes where he saves Deku, but the few times he does save someone/show concern for them, it’s usually him. This is Baku’s first save, and though he phrases it in rude terms, he still does it. Actions> words.
#10. WELL, NOW I’M EVEN MORE EAGER (MANGA)
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Chapter 202, joint Training Arc
What Happens: Deku and AM go off to talk OFA. Kacchan refuses to be left out and joins them voluntarily. Noticing Deku is upset he encourages him in his own way, which AM observes. Once Deku smiles, Kacchan goes back to being his abrasive self.
Why I Like it: Baku is newly nicer (in his Tsundere way) after DVK2. He’s actually able to be kind to Deku and encouraging. This is similar to the advice the OFA users give Deku later, which helps him actually use the power. OFA Co-conspirators FTW.
#9. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN
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3.11-3.12 US of Smash
What Happens: Post All Might’s fight, Kacchan notices Deku’s tears and AM’s words, and puts the pieces together. He asks AM about Deku and when he’s shot down he remains quiet and brooding.
Why I like it: Bakugo changes forever in this section of the story. He realizes the truth about Deku. He blames himself for ending AM. He asks about Deku and shows awareness that something’s up with him. It’s all very self-aware and sweet.
(#8-2, examples of super-mega-ultra concern for each other)
#8. YOU’RE PROBABLY THE MOST FRUSTRATED OF ALL
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3.04-3.10 Training Camp and Hideout Raid Arcs
What Happens: While fighting Muscular, Deku learns that Kacchan is in danger. He goes psycho Madman Deku mode for the whole Training Camp Arc, refusing to pause or rest until he’s saved Kacchan. He falls apart when Kacchan is taken, then immediately goes off to save him again even though he could die.
Why I like it. Deku likes saving people in general, but when someone threatens Kacchan, he goes crazy in a way he doesn’t for anyone else. He spends this whole arc hopped up on “Must save Kacchan” juice and keeps pushing and going no matter what. He cares about the guy, no two ways about it.
#7. DON’T COME, DEKU
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3.07 “What a Twist!”
What happens: Bakugo is captured by villains. He’s being dragged through the portal and Deku comes barreling towards him with two broken arms, fully prepared to jump through the portal and die just to save him. Bakugo tells him not to and Deku listens.
Why I like it: Though this arc is filled with Deku being crazy protective of Baku, Baku gets his own fair share in right here. He tells Deku not to basically die protecting him, and Deku listens. Baku basically saves his life here, at the expense of his own.
#6. “ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? ARE YOU HURT?”
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Backstory flashback repeated a lot.
What happens: Baby Kacchan slips and falls into a creek. Baby Deku goes down to help him up and asks if he’s ok. This offends Baby Kacchan’s pride.
Why I like it: Bakugo probably never had anyone treat him like a fallible human being until Deku came along. Everyone told him he was amazing and could never be hurt - but Deku doesn’t. That bruises his ego at first, but in reality it’s exactly what he needs: Someone who cares about him and will protect him, while still admiring him. (Plus this scene is cute).
#5. HOW CAN HE SMILE… (MANGA SPOILERS. MASSIVE ONES)
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Chapter 210, Joint Training Arc
What Happens: In an effort to piss Deku off and get him to talk, Monoma using Shinso’s power taunts him about Bakugo, saying that Bakugo shouldn’t be able to smile since he destroyed All Might. Deku’s new quirk goes PsychoBerserker out of control in response.
Why I like it: Deku’s power-ups are often connected with Baku in some way. Like many superpowers, OFA seems to be fueled by emotions. So targeting Bakugo brings out Deku’s greatest powers. In this case, though, it’s not a villain trying to hurt him. It’s someone insulting him. And that means Deku will defend Kacchan’s honor and feelings as well as his safety.
#4. I GOT MY QUIRK FROM SOMEONE ELSE
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1.08 “Bakugo’s Start Line”
What Happens: Post Battle Trial Arc, Bakugo is in emotional freeful. Deku notices and chases after him, telling him for no goddamn good reason that he has an inherited power. Kacchan doesn’t believe him and instead pours his heart out to him, crying and promising to beat him.
Why I like it: Buncha reasons. 1) Deku ditches all his lovely friends, including Ochaco, to go comfort Kacchan. Even in the same way Ochaco just ditched Kaminari. 2) Deku tells Kacchan about OFA. He won’t tell anyone else, he just decided comforting Kacchan was more important than his entire reason for being here. 3) Kacchan cries in front of Deku and tells him how he feels insecure. He doesn’t do that in front of anyone else. 4) Warm lighting, deep eye contact, and the beginning of a beautiful rivalry.
#3. DEKU AND KACCHAN VS ALL MIGHT
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2.24 “Katsuki Bakugo Origin”
What happens: Deku and Kacchan work together to fight AM, after a nasty fight. Deku calls Kacchan out for not being himself. Kacchan sacrifices his body to make sure Deku can escape. Deku socks AM in the face to protect Kacchan. They win.
Why I like it: For a moment that started out so dark (sock to the face), this one gets sweet fast. On Deku’s side: He reprimands Kacchan for not acting like himself, compliments his can-do- attitude, and works together with him, overcoming his fear; he finds the strength to punch AM in the face to save Kacchan, with a callback to ep 2. Kacchan’s strength helps Deku win. On Kacchan’s side: He works with Deku to win, giving him his gauntlet, and sacrifices his safety so Deku can get out, even sounding kinda concerned for him when he gets in danger. They showcase what a great team they could/will make when they work together.
#2. MY LEGS MOVED BEFORE I COULD THINK
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Chapter 1/Episode 2: Izuku Midoriya Origin/What it Takes to be a Hero
What happens: Deku, in a fit of depression, sees the monster AM saved him from suffocating some kid. He’s freaking out till he sees that it’s Kacchan. He runs into deadly danger to save Kacchan, inspiring AM to save them both.
Why I like it: Because this moment changed Deku’s entire life and Kacchan’s as well. Deku’s legs ‘move’ before he can think. And it’s explicitly because it’s Kacchan in danger; he doesn’t move until he sees Kacchan’s terrified eyes. Kacchan also shows concern for Deku, telling him to get away (he didn’t say that to the pros trying to save him) so he doesn’t die. This is another scene that follows up on an awful fight between the two, and changes both lives forever. Saving Kacchan gets Deku OFA. Being saved by Deku opens Kacchan to his humility for the first time and stops him from hassling Deku. Plus, just a super-snippy moment to me.
BONUS: Anime only, OPS & EDS
OP 1: The Day
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Deku and Kacchan are surrounded by the romantic cherry blossom trees.
OP 3: Sora Ni Utaeba
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Deku and Kacchan brooding on each other.
ED 3: Datte Atashi No Hiro 
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Admitted by the writer to be about Deku’s feelings for Kacchan. Fantasy Deku with his hand over his heart watching Kacchan. BKDK teaming up in Fantasy AU to beat All Might as they look each other deeply in the eyes.
2.24 OG
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Anime-only Kabe-Don scene.
OP 4: Odd Future
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Deku’s head bows when Kacchan is stolen.
ED 4: Update
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“Cause I love, cause I love, cause I love being with you.” While they watch the stars together.
OP 5: Make My Story
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2 halves, one whole.
THE BEST:
#1. Deku vs Kacchan Part 2
Chapter 116-121/Episodes 3.22-3.23
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“It’s about your quirk…If your way of looking at him was right, does that mean my admiration was wrong?”
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“No matter how many times I pushed you away, you always keep coming back!”
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“We never talked about our real feelings…”
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“Why was I the reason for All Might’s end?”
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“The only one who can receive Kacchan’s feelings is me.”
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“To me, you were an amazing, inspiring person, who was much closer to me than All Might. That’s why I kept chasing after you” (is it me or does this sound exactly like Hinata’s love confession to Naruto in the Invasion of Pein arc?)
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“This is gross, so I can’t tell you, but…you’re my image of victory.”
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“If the two of you recognize each other, and honestly raise each other up, you can become the best heroes, who both win and rescue.”
What Happens: Deku and Kacchan tell each other how they really feel. Through a fight because Shonen.
Why I like it: AM himself says it. They’re perfectly matched. They need each other to become the greatest heroes. Kacchan knows he can only talk to Deku about how he’s feeling; nobody else can receive his feelings. Deku loves and admires Kacchan as his friend, not his Great Hero like AM. It’s just perfect.
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