#does the instrumental version of king and lionheart play over the closing credits? who's to say.

[arthursknight]

if there was a merlin reboot of exactly 1 episode in the year of our lord 2022 and you were in charge. what are 5 things that would happen in it?

oh i've been WAITING for this one. TURN IT UP

look, i am going to frame this as What I Would Do If I Was Actually Writing For The BBC. which is to say: we all know that if i had my damn way it would be a three hour special of just. the most insane fluff you've ever seen in your life.

but. supposing i was actually going to pitch this to the bbc, who will not budget my three hour long queer epic, here is what i would do. (this episode is, however, at LEAST an hour and a half. it's the least they could do.)

we open on merlin in a shitty flat in London. his room is a mess. he's still sleeping on a twin bed. there's a white cat curled around his feet, and he's scruffy because he hasn't shaved in a few days. he's eating Chinese take out. he opens a fortune cookie, and the message says something along the lines of you will be visited by someone important very soon. he crumples it and throws it away. he reaches for another bottle of cider-- would you look at that, it's empty-- and rubs his bleary eyes. a text message comes in from someone named simon-- remember to drink water and you won't be as hungover-- and he stumbles to the bathroom. we see from his window it's raining outside. he goes to brush his teeth.

while scrubbing his face with a towel, lightning strikes outside and thunder claps. he jolts, startled. his eyes turn gold in the mirror. a vase shatters. he whips his head around, eyes wide, in disbelief. merlin, a voice comes. it's distorted and unrecognizable. he shakes his head-- he's hearing things. when he picks up the biggest piece of glass, it cuts his palm. he runs it under the tap, trembling. when he looks up, his eyes are blue again.

cut to: the next day, a cozy office. "you've been missing our sessions," a warm, middle aged lady says over a cup of tea. "and i am fairly certain you're not taking your medication. yet here we are."

merlin smiles bashfully. the first time we hear him speak, he says, "i was never good at listening to direction." the therapist laughs.

"what brings you here, merlin?"

merlin's hands are twitching against his tea cup. there's a bandage around his palm. "i... i don't know. i got drunk last night. thought i..." there's no way to explain this to her in mundane terms. he flounders. "thought i... felt something. that i haven't in a very long time."

she nods, and we get a feeling she might understand, though merlin obviously doesn't share that feeling. "you mean since your friend died."

his laugh is shaky. "sure. yeah."

we cut to: merlin back at his flat. it hasn't stopped raining. he shrugs off his coat and his wellies. the power flickers, once, twice, off. he sighs. tries to get a flashlight. battery's dead. in frustration, he tugs at his hair. "it's not going to work," he mutters out loud to no one except his cat, who meows loudly. with a curse, he outstretches his hand. he says a small incantation in a way that lets us know he hasn't tried this in a long time, and he believes it to be a stupid idea.

nothing happens.

"see? i told you," he tells the cat.

merlin, the voice comes. it's a bit less distorted, still unrecognizable. merlin, can you hear me?

he scrubs his face again, "shut up." we see him scrambling in a medicine cabinet for some pills. he takes one. stares at his reflection. incants again. nothing, merlin, soft. incants again, nothing, merlin, louder, clearer. hangs his head and shakes it. one more time, with feeling. incants again, and this time when the voice comes, it's booming and loud and

it's arthur.

the mirror breaks as the power turns back on.

here's where the details get a bit muddied for yours truly, but the pitch goes like so: merlin, in his haste, scrambles back to avalon (which is in wales). it maybe takes him an embarrassingly long time. trains are delayed and it's raining. we see him grow more and more frantic, wild eyed, and he's trying to reach arthur with his mind. i'm on my way, he keeps saying.

he turns up at avalon. sitting on the shore, staring blankly at the rippling waves, is arthur.

he looks up. they lock eyes.

merlin has thousands of things he wants to say, and they all play out on his face. instead, he says, "it's raining. you're going to catch your death."

arthur snorts, stands up, and sheaths excalibur. "wouldn't be the first time."

they hug. the rain stops.

okay again, details are muddied but: we figure out that Magic Itself is about to die. we learn that merlin has been unable to use magic for centuries, and thought it lost. nope! arthurs back and this time he's going to save it! how, you ask? shut up this is just a pitch.

epic quests are had. in the mean time, though:

your run of the mill "arthur pendragon hasn't been in the world since 5 AD" Jokes, including the moment he first eats Chinese takeout. he becomes obsessed.

we get merlin and arthur mourning their friends, but arthur says, "i saw them, you know. behind the veil. they wanted me here, too."

"who else wanted you here?" merlin sniffs.

"you," and then, quieter, "and me, too."

it all culminates in a scene where arthur and merlin go to a museum exhibition on arthuriana. arthur complains about how messed up the story got-- "why are you so old"-- and stops, suddenly, in front of a large oil painting that looks just like him.

merlin shrugs. "i... had it commissioned."

arthur stares in awe. merlin pulls out his phone and takes a photo-- a king staring back at a king.

somewhere somehow they save magic. again i don't know. don't question me. i do know that probably merlin saves arthur's life, for old time's sake, except this time there is an implication (a very strong one) that arthur is immortal, too, or at the very least unable to be removed from merlin by death.

THE FINAL SCENE.

arthur and merlin sitting next to avalon, having gone back to reminisce. there's a container of Chinese takeout besides them.

"this is called a fortune cookie," merlin says. "you crack it open and it gives you a fortune."

"are they real?"

"they're made up by people in factories, so. no. they're just for fun."

arthur nods. he's quiet for a moment. "so we're... connected. a bond that cannot be broken, not even by death."

merlin shrugs. "it's always been my destiny. our destiny."

arthur nods, looking him over. "so what happens now, then? that our destiny has run its course?"

merlin looks into the lake, back at arthur. "i don't know. i guess we find out."

they both crack open their fortune cookies. "what does yours say?" arthur asks after a quiet moment.

merlin holds his up. it will never end, it says. "weird," he murmurs.

arthur smiles and shows him his. it has just begun.