#doesnt even have a tounge to speak with or a way to kill himself at that point

[iregretdoing]

"You belong to me."

"Those who die on the battlefield are not royalty, nobility, or commoners. They are the defeated, who die."

"I feel no responsibility to comrades who've lost lives under my command. Because they chose to fight in each battle.. Just as I chose this. But if there is something that... I can do for them. Something I can do for the dead... Then it is to win. I must keep winning to attain my dream. To realize my dream, I will perch on top of their corpses.. It is a blood-smeared dream, after all. I don't regret or feel guilty about it."

"Do I need to give you a reason each time I risk my life for your sake?"

"While many can pursue their dreams in solitude, other dreams are like great storms blowing hundreds, even thousands of dreams apart in their wake. Dreams breathe life into men and can cage them in suffering. Men live and die by their dreams. But long after they have been abandoned they still smolder deep in men's hearts. Some see nothing more than life and death. They are dead, for they have no dreams."

"In this world, some people born are like keys that move the world and exist having no connection to the social hierarchy established by man."

"It is my perception, that a true friend never relies on another's dream. A person with the potential to be my true friend, must be able to find his reason for life without my help. And, he would have to put his heart and soul into protecting his dream. He would never hesitate to fight for his dream, even against me. For me, a true friend is one who stands equal on those terms."

Among thousands of comrades and ten thousand enemies, only you... only you made me forget everything that I wanted.

"I'd dream, that on nights of the full moon, I'd become a small child and find myself embraced with a nostalgic warmth... But... When I wake from the dream... All that remains is a vague sense of longing...

And that, too, soon fades away - along with a single tear, like morning dew."

[kibybun]

Soap

Tw: gore, poison, torture, Stockholm syndrome, non con/rape

You cry as the inside of your mouth bleeds. You try your best to wipe it away, afraid of the punishment you'd receive for being dirty. You cry harder as you hear footsteps above you. It wasnt your fault your mouth hadn't stopped bleeding since you scrubbed your gums raw. You just didnt want your mouth to be dirty.

You stand on shakey legs and wobble to the little sink in the corner of the large basement. You hold onto the smooth porcelain and grab your toothbrush and gently start to brush circles on your teeth. The sharp bristles stab your soft gums causeing more whimpers and blood to ooze out from your lips.

"You missed a spot."

You jump but stay in place, refusing to look at him. You hadn't realized he came down here and was watching you.

"Here. Let me help."

He reaches to grab your toothbrush but you flinch away. He looks hurt but that doesn't stop him from yanking your wrist towards him.

"Please (y/n). I just want to make you clean." You body teses at that word.

Clean. Something your captor strives to make you and yet you'll never be it.

You yelp as he pushes the toothbrush harshly against your gums. He freezes before removing it from your mouth.

"Just be sure to get all the filth off of them." He slowly walks but up the stairs.

You shudder in relief and the cold. You slowly start to brush your teeth as you try to gain more warmth. He always said the cold killed germs. He also didnt want you sweaty and gross. You understand that's why he doesnt let you have a blanket, he just doesn't want you to be too hot and start to sweat. If you started to sweat your skin would get scrubbed raw. You didnt want that.

You let out a shakey breathe before placing your toothbrush down and looking up at the spot the mirror used to be. You shudder remembering why your mirror got removed.

Your attitude was repulsive back then. When he first brought you here, you tried so hard to escape but once you figured out it wouldn't work you thought of new ways to make him mad.

You were brushing your teeth, back when they were strong and not bleached, and you smeared toothpaste on the mirror. You knew Keigo hated messes and germs, but it didnt stop you. He came down the stairs and saw the mirror. You can see the panic and anxiety rise within him as he slowly steps towards you. You wanted to have more fun. You give him a wicked smirk and stuck your tounge out, licking the mirror.

That's when he lost it.

His fist was sent flying towards the mirror as he screamed. How could you contaminate yourself like that? You cover your ears as his screaming was making your ears ringing. While doing this you fail to notice the large share of glass he grabbed. He grabs your face and forcefully pries your mouth open. You try to claw at his hands as you feel the corners of your mouth rip. You fail to stop the glass shard from entering your mouth and start digging into your tounge.

"STOP SCREAMING OR I'LL CUT YOUR VOCAL CORDS TOO!" You comply, silently whimpering and choking on your own blood as your tounge was cut down the middle.

You swallow the lump in your throat and move away from the sink. You were happy to still have your tounge, you even learned how to move both sides separately, but you dont like having a minor lisp.

You sit in the corner right next to the stairs. Right there was some warmth but not enough to make you sweat. You curl up and try to doze off but cant as you hear steps on the stair.

Over the railing you see him looking at you. You give him a quick glance before looking at the floor. He sighs, making it the rest of the way to crouch in front of you.

"Please look at me, I'm sorry for what I said before." You only tense hearing him speak.

You were looking at his wings one day and apparently he didnt like that. He yelled at you saying how dirty your gaze was, how he felt repulsed knowing you were looking at him. He then poured vinegar in you left eye, leaving everything permanently blurry.

Your eyes blur with tears as you resist looking at him. You loved him and wanted nothing more than to just admire him but you didnt want to soil his beauty with your gross eyes.

"Please?" His voice was gentle and pleading.

You couldn't see him in pain, so you slowly look at him with a small smile on your face. You just wanted him to be happy, and you'll try your best to give it to him even if you're filthy. His face seems to light up ever so slightly.

"C'mon, let's go eat!" He offers you a hand but you decline it. You arent clean enough for that yet.

The two of you stand and he leads up up the stairs. You make it to the top of the stairs and he closes it behind you.

Instantly you're hit with a wave of warmth. You'd never admit it but it felt like pure bliss but you knew you couldn't stay up here long. Filth like you didnt belong in the light.

You hear a soft click behind you but you dont dare to look.

He proceeds to lead you to the small wooden table in the kitchen. He pulls out a chair for you to sit, and you comply knowing that he had compulsively cleaned it right before you arrived. You know this because he made you clean this table so many times. You remember having to sit on your knees and scrub the furniture so it was clean for him to sit.

You'd do it again for him because he deserves it.

He walks around for a second before setting down a bowl of soup in front of you. You stare at it before speaking.

"Bleach?"

He sighs defeated before sitting next to you.

"Bleach isnt good for you."

Liar.

He used to preach about how you needed to drink it to be clean in his standards. But he had the audacity to scold you when you tried to drink it from the bottle to clean yourself for him.

You gently push the bowl away, still avoiding eye contact. You can feel his eyes staring you down but he refuses to do anything.

He used to force feed you, shoving the utensil down your throat, then he'd make you puke saying how dirty scum like you didnt deserve it. At least you lost that weight you didnt want.

"Can you please eat? You need something, anything in your stomach right now."

No. You didnt deserve him, you didnt deserve this. You were a disgusting bottom feeder that need to be cleaned. You slowly stand and start walking towards the basement door.

"Please (y/n), I can make you something else to eat." He sounds upset.

You stop and slowly look back at him. You tried to reassure him without speaking but somehow it seemed to backfire. He starts to stand but you dart to the door, not giving him a chance to grab you.

Your hands wrap around the handle and try to turn it, only to fail. You start to panic.

Its too hot up here, you'll start to sweat, you dont want your skin scrubbed, you didnt want him to pour hand sanitizer on you to clean your wounds.

"Hey, it's ok. You can stay up here." His voice makes you jump.

"No."

You wanted to go back to your cold sanctuary.

"Its not good for you down there. Stay up here with me."

Liar.

Liar liar liar. He said that down there was the bet place for you, even if you passed out due to the cold. When you'd pass out he'd take that opportunity to love you. You'd slowly wake up to him forcing himself in and out of you.

It hurt so bad.

He'd say how he brought you back to life and how much he loved you. Why did he stop? Does he not love you anymore?

You jump as his hand falls into your shoulder, shaking you out of your thoughts.

"Let's go bathe, we can take one together?" You eagerly shake your head yes.

Not only did you get to bathe with your love but this time he wouldn't put bleach in the tub! It's also a bonus seeing his face beam at you.

He leads you upstairs to the bathroom connected to his room. It's been awhile since you've been in here. He starts to fill up the tub, knowing that the shower head would hurt your damaged skin.

You stand there, awkward. You want to say something, anything. Mainly you want to say his name, but fear prevented you from doing so.

The last time you said his name was when you were trying to tell him to love him. He cut you off saying how you weren't allowed to soil his name with your filthy mouth. He scrubbed your mouth out with a bar of soap after.

"H-hey...." You can tell your voice startled him.

He sighs and looks over his should and wing at you.

"You can say my name you know."

You cant do that. You dont like the taste of the lavender soap he owns.

He notices your discomfort before speaking again. "You dont have to but I'd like it if you did."

He stops the water and starts to undress. You blush. It's been awhile since you got to see him so exposed.

You sneak glances, mainly staring at his wings. They are so beautiful in your opinion. It always amazes you how he slips his wings in and out of his shirt.

"Hehe like what you see?" You flinch and look at the ground, face burning. "Ah you can look at me if you want. I love knowing you like what you see!"

You hear the water splosh a little.

"C'mon, before the water gets cold."

You slowly start to strip, knowing if you didnt he'd come and do it himself.

You feel his eyes travel your body, leaving your skin hot and flustered. Stop. You're not allowed to feel this. You're trash, disgusting. Stop ruining his eyes.

You try to cover yourself as you walk to the tub.

"You're beautiful, you know that right?"

Liar.

He told you you'd never be beautiful.

You ignore him as you step into the tub, slowly sitting with your back towards him. You tense as his arms snake around your waist and pull you towards him, back flush against his chest.

"Please look at me... please say my name... I miss hearing your voice.."

Liar.

He said your voice was the worst sound in the world... but he was sad. He wanted to hear you. Maybe he wont punish you if you did it because he said so.

You wiggle in his grasp to turn and look at him. He had the cutest little smile as he looked into your eyes.

After a minute he gently leads your head to rest against his chest, hand slowly stroking your hair, and planting kisses on your head.

This was heavenly. He was never so gentle and caring. You must've been so good to earn this.

You decide to push it and hug him.

Hug him tightly, afraid of the pain to be inflicted on you, but you do it nonetheless. He seems startled but gladly hugs you back, almost as tightly.

You both know that this tenderness will not last, both of you only hold on tighter, afraid of the aftermath.

He uses on arm to softly clean you. You flinch everytime his hand touches you but you soon start to cherish the feeling.

Once he's done cleaning you, you slowly move from his grasp and start to wash him. Your hands shake as they gently trail down his chest and shoulders. He seems so ecstatic that you were touching him, not trying to scratch his skin off.

You hesitate to try and touch his wings but he grabs your wrist and leads it to his left wing. He laughs at how your face lights up. His feathers are so soft, so beautiful.

The two of you stay there, in that moment, holding each other.

He stands and holds you up with him. Instantly the cold attacks you and he holds you closer. He wraps you in a fluffy towel, as well as himself, and leads you to his bedroom. You stand next to the bed as he searches through the closet for clothes for you.

"Here, they're a pair of your old clothes." He holds out clothes for you to take but you refuse them.

You were even dirtier back then and you dont want to where clothes that were contaminated by past you.

"Well, what are you gonna wear?"

"Your clothes?" You freeze. You didnt mean to say that. You wish you hadn't said that. Now he'll probably force you to wear a garbage bag, he's done it before.

"R-really? I got a blue shirt, you still like blue right?" His voice was excited as he dug through his wardrobe to a smaller shirt for you.

You put on undergarments and take the dark blue shirt from his hand. It was big on you but you liked it because it smelled like him. It came down mid thigh level and had to slits in the for his wings.

As he gets dressed you crawl onto the bed. You knew filth like you didnt deserve to lay on the bed, he told you that himself, but today you were pushing your luck with everything.

"Do.... do you want to spend the night in here with me?" It wasnt an invitation for sex but to share the same room, same bed even. You eagerly nod.

You want to be held in his arms again. To feel safe and not cold and alone. He slowly sits next to you on the bed, scared to make any move. You timidly hold onto him. He gratefully holds you closer.

"I... I love you... Keigo...." He goes silent and you feel his body shudder. You look up at him and feel a tear fall onto your face. "Why....?"

"Because I've waited so long to hear you say that." He pulls you closer and holds you tighter.

Why? You tried so many times to tell him the words in your heart but he always silenced you before you had the chance. So why now?

"I love you so much (y/n)."

No.

No no no no.

That's wrong.

Why is it wrong? You're supposed to get butterflies in your stomach but all you feel is vile bubbling. Why does your name feel... so dirty coming from Keigo, your love?

Is it because..

He's dirty?

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You wake up wrapped in Keigo's arms. This should feel good but to you it just feels wrong.

You gently try and wake him, desperate to get away from him. He grumbles and rolls over. Normally he'd be awake on patrol but you guess he has today off.

You slowly slip out of bed and walk downstairs. Past you would use this chance to run but you'd never leave your love... that's what you hope atleast. Now you contemplate it.

You walk into the kitchen and look around trying to think about what to make for breakfast. You decide in eggs. You havent cooked in, what you think is, months and you didnt want to try to make anything too hard.

You crack the egg but almost all the shell ends up in the pan. You grumble and try to find the trash can. You're surprised to find it under the sink.

After throwing out the egg, you move the trash can and look at what's under the sink. There you find an abundance of cleaning products. Bleach, disinfect wipes, dishwasher tabs, vinegar, window cleaner, hand sanitizer, you name it.

But there were two things that caught your eye. Rope and rat poison. You grab both.

You hide the rope on one of the two chairs at the table and carry the rat poison to the stove.

You crack more eggs onto the pan, with fewer shells making it to the pan, and pour a generous amount of the poison in with it. You quickly hide the rat poison back and continue cooking.

You dont understand why you did it, but it just felt right.

You put the semi under cooked and burnt eggs on a plate for him. Right as you did so he runs down stairs panicked.

"Goodmorning Keigo!" You made your voice chipper and excited to mask the gross feeling spreading through you.

Why?

He visibly calms down and walks towards you. He comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you waist, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.

You were repulsed. He touched made you squirm, it didnt feel right. It didnt feel like heaven like yesterday, it felt toxic.

"You didnt have to make breakfast (y/n)."

You almost gag.

"I wanna get back into cooking. Here!" You hand him his plate. "I made it just for you!"

You can tell he doesnt want to eat it but you persuade him by smiling oh so sweetly. He takes it and goes to sit down.

He almost sits down on the chair that holds your plan but decides against it. Your heart hammers through your chest as you lean against the counter and watch him.

"Hehe what are you doing? Come sit with me!"

"But what if you want more? I wanna be ready to make them!" You didnt recognize your own voice. It was too happy, too coated in honey.

Keigo chuckles at your antics before taking a bite of the meal you made him.

You can tell he's repulsed but he continues to eat it as you give him a cutesy look. He finishes his plate and his face is far paler than when he woke up.

"Do you want more?" You kept your voice excited and cute to help pull off your plan.

"Uh.. No thanks..."

"Was... was it not good?" You watch as panic floods his face.

"N-no! It was delicious! I'm just not feeling well."

"Oh.. ok."

"(Y/n) what's wrong?" He tries to stand but falls to the floor due to his wobbly legs.

You cant hide your wicked smile as Keigo groans and clutches his stomach. He doesn't notice you grab the rope from the chair but he does notice that you've suddenly straddled him.

"(y/n)... what are you doing?"

"Dont say my name. You're too dirty."

You tightly wrap the rope around his neck and hands, not tight enough to kill him but tight enough to limit the oxygen intake to make sure he cant think straight. For example; he could easily cut the rope with his feathers but he's in too much pain and has to focus really hard on breathing.

"(y/n)...."

"What did I just say?"

"(y/n)...."

"If you dont listen I'll make you." You stand and collect the need tools.

You grab the bar of soap on the counter, the knife block with all the knives, and numerous cleaning products from under the sink.

It was your turn to clean him.

He watches fearfully as you grab a knife and twirl it between your fingers and straddle him again.

"All this time I thought you were so clean and pure... turns out you were the filthy one."

You stab the knife though his wing, through where you knew the bone would be. He let's out a strangled scream due to the rope.

"Shhh, or I'll cut out your vocal cords."

You grab another knife and do the same to his other wing. He screams again and you've had enough. You grab a third knife and pry his mouth open. You slowly dig the tip of the knife through his tounge and drag it out, cutting his tounge in half like yours. He let's out pitiful whimpers as he gaggles out blood. His eyes leak tears as you watch them fill with fear.

You dont blame him. You know his blood splattered onto your face, you know you were smiling like crazy, you know that tears were also falling down your face. You didnt know why that was happening.

You loved him so it hurt watching him in pain but it felt so good watching him suffer.

Next you grab a sponge and start scrubbing the stubble on his face with the rough side. He releases more pitiful sounds as he tries to move his head away. You fill your fist with his hair and slam his head back so you can finish your work.

Keigo could most definitely over power you but he cant think straight right now.

After you finished scrubbing his skin and hair off you sit back and admire you work. He looks so helpless.

"P-please..." His words strangled and barely audible.

"Ah ah ah! You should listen more." You grab the bar of soap, which still had your teeth imprint on it, and shove it in his mouth. "I hope you like lavender~!"

He gags and tries to spit it out but you only push it farther down his throat.

You grab the bottle of vinegar and slowly twist off the cap. Once off you lean in real close to his face and pry open he left eye lid. You watch as his pupil darts around in panic as you slowly pour vinegar into his eye socket. You laugh as he let's out a muffled scream.

"I dont see the point in you screaming, no one with hear you. Even if they did, why would they help something so disgusting as you? You're filthy. So dirty. No one will love you because you are disgusting garbage."

bIt was almost like reciting a script that he wrote for you in your head.

You gently kiss one of his tears, tasteing the salty and vinegary flavor. "I'll leave your other eye for now. I want you to see what I do next."

You sit up and grab the knife again. Slowly you carve into his bare chest. He never did this to you but he had threatened it.

You carve the word dirty across his chest.

You remove the knife and grab something else.

Hand sanitizer.

His eyes bulge and he tries to silently convince you no but it only encourages you. You squirt a dollop into the deep cut and watch Keigo arch his back and try to scream. You add a dollop to each letter them some to your finger tips. You slowly insert your fingers into his chest and start rubbing the sanitizer around the muscle.

His sounds of helplessness sparks so much joy within you, how could you possibly stop now?

You continue for every letter before sitting back again to say a few words.

"I do love you, just I need to make you clean. You see, I was clean from the beginning and you were trying to contaminate me. Now let me fix you."

You give him a sickeningly sweet smile before standing. You hand wraps around the bleach bottle. He watches you flick off the cap and circle him.

"Red is such a filthy color."

You pour the contents of the bottle onto his right wing, then his left. It had no effect at first but slowly the burning sensation started. You watched him try to get the bleach off his wings, but all he did was spread it. His once deep red feathers slowly start to turn pink, then white.

You step onto his gut with a heavy foot and look down at him.

"I think I'm going to have a lot of fun cleaning you, my little dove~."

Kiby~💚

[omoghouls]

copia fear wetting. like he goes down to the way lower levels of the church where the era i ghouls are, and knows that since he basically got the emerituses killed they dont really like him lol. so when a group of them coldly approaches him he falls flat on his ass, not even realizing that he's pissing his pants, trembling and crying a little in fear. calm down rat boy theyre not gonna hurt u if youre covered in pee

👀👀👀 oh HELL yeah omgg

Like, not to bring my whole Rain ghoul/The era 1 ghouls but like, the era 1 ghouls like Copia's ghouls, because well, of the same species and they know those 7 didnt have any part of the murder of the Emeritus brothers, so they're chill.

But, Copia on the other hand? There is that silent resentment that suffocates the two parties when they're in the same location, of course, the elder ghoul's wouldn't /actually/ physically harm the Cardinal (at least, not bad enough to where he were to meet the same fate as /their/ Papa, but of course that is just what they wish and wouldnt do, Sister Imperator would surely banish them.) he will someday be the next successor. But, that doesnt change their feelings towards the sniveling rat.

So, one day, Copia, has to go down to the bowels of the chruch (let's say to grab something for the next rituals). He had been avoiding going down there since the,,, untimely demise of the Emeritus bloodline. Totally not because he's scared of the eldest son's ghouls! Totalllllly not. He's just cowering and jumping at every creak, every shadow because,,,, okay that is a total lie, Copia is petrified of the eldest ghouls, has been even when Papa I was alive. 

They're just, ancient, when they speak, it's in a long since gone tounge that no other ghoul can translate, they move like phantoms, silently following their Papa. 

That stuff is unnerving as is but, what really keeps Copia away from them is when he was a bit younger (striving towards his first employee of the month). He had snuck out in the gardens long since pass the curfew for siblings and ghouls alike for a smoke, a simple break away from the mountain of paper work that would welcome him as soon as he retreated back in.

But, in the hazy night, Copia could swear he saw movements in the garden. A sibling being out would surely have repercussions, he just wanted to save them the lecture. So he wanders over, peeking over the rose bush. His heart leaped into his throat as he saw the reality. No sibling, just a mass that could very well could have been human at one point and,,,an elder ghoul; their pure white robes now splattered in the crimson red, crouching next to the body, their head lowered and their mask strewn to the side, seemingly making quick work of disposing of the evidence. The soft cracking of a branch causes the ghouls head to snap up towards where Copia stands, frozen, mouth agape, the first time seeing what is beneath a ghoul's mask, the man stumbles back before full on jogging back to the sanctity of the church. 

ANYWAY that thought plays through the Cardinal's mind every time he wanders down the solemn halls. And since the deaths, the question if he were to become that pulpy mess he had seen so many years before. 

As his thoughts play, he barely notices who is turning the corner. The Cardinal looks up and just, locks up as they near him. He can see their glaring eyes beneath the mask, are they walking faster than normal? Coming for him??

Copia dryly swallows as he begins to back up, unfortunately tying himself up in his cassock and falls to the concrete floor, he yelps as he sees the ghouls walking closer, the aura around them feels deadly. He swears, from his blurred vision he can see their talon sharp claws peeking from beneath their robes. His heart thudding against his chest, the blood rushing between his ears, he doesn't even hear the muffled hissing of urine pooling beneath his bottom.

The elder's pause in their footing as they watch the cowering man pissing himself right where he sits. A small gaggle of chuckles come from the group. Eventually the eldest/front of the group leans down, mask to face with the trembling mess of a man, a clawed finger running against Copia's cheek.

"Not today, Cardinal, not in this state," is all the ghoul says, his voice calm yet, threatening as he stands, his finger trailing, leaving a faint mark on the man's face as he stands.

Leaving Copia alone with his cooling mess. 👀👀👀