#dolan image

[wally-b-feed]

Annie Dolan, 2024

[downthetubes]

Upstream Image exhibition at Gallery North examines environmental impact of digital creativity

Upstream Image, explores the journey a digital image must go through before reaching our screen – and the environmental impact this has

A series of contemporary art exhibitions exploring cultures, communities and environments has launched at Northumbria University’s newly refurbished Gallery North. The first, Upstream Image, explores the journey a digital image must go through before reaching our screen – and the environmental impact this has. Gallery North is an experimental space featuring exhibitions, talks, seminars,…

[astrosky33]

𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐁𝐘 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐊𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏𝟒

🛸 People with Mars in the 3rd/11th house often get most inspired by tiktok, youtube, or other social media videos. When they see others being productive online it makes them want to be productive

🛸 Having your Moon in the 1st house can mean your face says things before you do

🛸 Libra placements have sensitive skin typically since Libra rules over the skin

🛸 Your 8th house can be indicative of how you die but not how horrible it will be necessarily like a lot of astro posts say. Ex: Mars in 8H can actually indicate dying a quick death since Mars rules over speed

🛸 A lot of celebrities are witches but just stay private about it which is why so many of them have 22 degrees in their chart because it’s the degree of witchcraft

🛸 Unpopular opinion: I don’t think Jupiter in the 7th house is a great placement for love most of the time. Many of the people I’ve seen with this placement have multiple marriages. This is because Jupiter rules over abundance and the 7H rules over marriages/relationships. Yes it rules over luck too but I rarely see that specific trait taken on for people with this placement - ex: marilyn monroe

🛸 Everyone always says if you lack water in your chart you’re tough but I personally don’t agree with that because I am 13% water and am very sensitive emotionally

🛸 Having your 4th house ruler in the 8th house can indicate your childhood may’ve been filled with trauma

🛸 Jupiter in the 3rd house in Composite Charts of siblings indicates you’re each other’s favorite siblings

🛸 People always think Mars in the 1st house in Composite Chart is a bad thing but in my readings I’ve found it indicates very passionate romance when in a couples chart

🛸 Chiron in the 1st house in Composite Charts can indicate one of you constantly making the other feel poorly about their appearance; ex: emma chamberlain & ethan dolan- emma said on a podcast that he constantly tore her down for not presenting herself in a more feminine way

🛸 Chiron in the 7th house in Composite Charts usually ends in heartbreak when it comes to romantic relationships

🛸 Juno conjunct/trine/sextile Jupiter indicates marriage occurring in Composite Charts. This is because in Greek Mythology Juno married Jupiter

🛸 Asteroid Charis in the 10th house can indicate having a magnetic and charismatic public image that attracts many people to you - asteroid code: 627

🛸 Asteroid Neverland can shows areas where we’re out of touch with reality. It can also show things we may have enjoyed doing as a child - asteroid code: 5405

🛸 Marilyn Monroe has Asteroid Fama in Libra and she was famous for her beauty. Libra is ruled by Venus the planet of beauty. Fama shows what we can gain fame for - code: 408

𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗢 𝗢𝗕𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦

𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧

𝗦𝗨𝗕 𝗧𝗢 𝗠𝗬 𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗢𝗡

𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗧𝗨𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗔𝗟𝗦

© 𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

Timothy M. Dolan Archbishop of New York

The things I image doing to Cardinal Dolan on that couch... with our penis'.

On A Side Note: I like to image this is what Cardinal Dolan's oh face might look like.

[earthflaxmachina]

The Metahistory of Paz

A user on instagram requested I talk about how Paz/Rumi were before modern tbod development, and since I actually made Paz around the time I made Derek (Dolan, at the time) in early 2019, there is enough content for a long post, so I want to tackle that first. Rumi was created in 2021, so she hasn't gone through as much change outside of personality.

Note that for the sake of saving space on this post (only 30 images allowed), I won't be including much of what is already public on derekdemetripoo or something.

Let's gooooooooooooo!

Note: around September/October 2019, my hard drive where I keep all of my art got corrupted so I had to get it fixed and they managed to recover a lot of my files but not all of them, because of this all the metadata (e.g date of creation) of the files was lost. All dates before 5th October 2019 are approximations based on what date it was saved on my phone/what date I posted it on toyhouse, etc.

Notex2: Also, when I mention Derek's old self, I will refer to him with his name at the time, Dolan, and also Paz by her old names.

CREATION: approx. ~26th January 2019

Figure 1. Paz's first design and appearance (Heller) | Figure 2. Heller's icon on toyhouse (~4/2019)

Around this time I started making demon ocs, one of which was Paz, or at the time she was Dolan's (Derek) half-brother, Heller Luq Urhis. No cultural inspirations for that name, I literally made up words. Heller was based off my friend's backpack (Figure 1). Dolan's full name was Dolan Sol Urhis. I think they both had a thing for Cerise (if you remember seeing me draw a pirate lady, she was from this era as well but less piratey). Not much I can say about Heller's personality because I don't remember and I never wrote things down. I think he was pretty serious to contrast w Dolan. This post is only about Paz so I won't go deep into other characters.

Something I remember about Heller is that, at some point he wasn't born a demon but was actually turned into one after he died, and that his starry poncho was handcrafted by him so he could remember what stars looked like (there are no stars in Hell). This contradicts the idea of him and Dolan being half-brothers, so I think this was canon before I made them brothers.

Fun fact: at this time, both this story - Devil's Adequate, though I named it in March 2020 - and Wence happened in the same world. I think. I know that Harlow had a connection to Luciano's brother.

DEVIL'S ADEQUATE V2: September 2020

Figure 3. Heller redesign portrait | Figure 4. Heller redesign reference, both from 7th November 2020

This was when I decided to make Devil's Adequate a more "serious" (it was corny) story about morality and heaven and hell, as you can see Heller has a bit of a priest/nun look. At this point he wasn't Dolan's brother anymore but an unrelated character. I think he was a fallen angel who was in denial about being Bad, so he kept up the priest thing in Hell. Quite an interesting concept, given the rest of the story was your average Maybe The Hell And Heaven System Is Flawed (sound familiar? lmao I was 15 by the way. This is a concept a 15 year old comes up with. cough)

I had quite a bit of worldbuilding for Devil's Adequate, like names for places and races of demons/angels. The comprehensive text on the worldbuilding is lost because it was a description for the toyhouse folder I later deleted. All I have left to work from is Dolan's toyhouse profile and maybe the draft script of Devil's Adequate however short. For example, Heaven was called Ecstasis instead.

According to Dolan's toyhouse profile,

'During [Dolan's] years as a secretary he met one of the Fallen Angeli, Heller - they became close friends, very close that Heller was enticed by him and developed feelings, of which are unrequited.'

Interesting! So now he was a love interest. This love interest thing would continue into early TBOD. I would get into the whole Devil's Adequate lore but I think that's more suited to an essay about Dolan/Derek's metahistory because he Was the protagonist.

NOT QUITE DEVIL'S ADEQUATE, NOT QUITE THE BOOK OF DEREK: July 2021

Figure 5. Pascal's new biography (23rd July 2021)

Figure 6. Pascal and Death (4th August 2021) | Figure 7. The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse (6th August 2021)

At this time, Dolan was no longer Dolan, he was now Death. This story didn't really take place in Heaven or Hell but in some kind of Purgatory office where Death and the other 3 horsemen had to collect souls of people who died like reapers. Each horseman would have their "department" and would collect souls of people depending on how they died. For example, Pascal (no longer Heller), being the horseman of Pestilence, collected souls of people who died by disease. I named him (yes, still a man) Pascal because it was close to Pestilence and I was trying to get the names close to their role. The exception was Cerise (horseman of War) because she was trans and chose her name. P.S. his gloves weren't a fashion choice, he poisoned everything he touched, except for Death.

In Figure 5 it says:

“[His] first big debut was the Plague”

This means he started working when the Bubonic Plague started, because of the overwhelming mortality rate the higher ups (whoever they are) decided there needed to be a horseman of Pestilence to handle those. See image below for Death and Pascal’s first meeting when he made his debut.

Figure 5 also states he is the “3rd Horseman” meaning one of the other two horseman started working before him, since Death is the 1st. It was Fergie, aka Famine.

At this point, there was a tsundere quality about him and the implication of yaoi was latent. As you can see from Figures, he had a one-way rivalry with Death and was simultaneously jealous and in love with him.

Too lazy to date these individually just know they were from 23rd July 2021 - 18th October 2021, in order of creation.

EARLY TBOD: October 2021 onward

Figure 8. Paz first seen as a girl (23rd February 2022) | Figure 9. New Paz info and first instance of being called "Paz" (18th April 2022) | Figure 10. Paz and Aarum (also 18/4/22)

Around this time was when I ditched the office idea and came up with the idea of Derek (named on 12th September 2021) wanting to have a child with a human. Paz's crush was now a crazy obsession, and also she was in a relationship w Aarum for a while. Canonically, at some point, they broke up some time during Derek's human life. Overall this era in her development was really weird and I'm ashamed of it.

In Figure 9, Paz mentions Derek's "corpses", this is referring to the fact that when Derek first became human he died a lot because he wanted to try different ways of getting hurt and also dying so there were lots of his corpses after he kept dying and coming back. This idea does not carry onto current TBOD because, why, lmao.

There was a plot point where Derek BURIED HER ALIVE for a couple of years (she couldn't die bc she was already dead) because she convinced Aarum to kill Derek earlier than they planned. So weird. This also does not carry onto current TBOD because it's stupid.

Figure 11. The trio celebrating Derek's loss of virginity (18th May 2022)

Quickly all of that weird violence got retconned away and we forgot all about that. Until June 2022 she still had that weird crush that feels like she was cheating on Aarum emotionally. After June, she was a fujo but still dating Aarum, at least the crush wasn't there anymore. I think everything from October 2021 onward is public on derekdemetripoo if you scroll far enough, so I won't include many images.

MODERN TBOD: October 2022 onward

Figure 12. First instance of what would become Paz's new design (23rd October 2022) | Figure 13. Current Paz ref (2nd August 2024)

Figure 12 was never posted because I planned to draw Derek and Aarum there too but got lazy. It was an au where Paz had Derek's role, because at the time I also entertained with an au where Aarum had Derek's role - and from that came Aurele. This drawing was meant to have all 3 of them as gods sitting on chairs. Her chair says Patricia because like Aarum was called Aurele, she needed an au name too. Her dress was inspired by the Haitian Karabela traditional dress iirc because she's Haitian.

I think by now I had gotten rid of the idea of her and Aarum altogether, never dated, just friends. Because Aarum was gay now and Paz was now somewhat romantically/sexually apathetic. Also her and Derek were now more friendly, and she doesn't call him sir anymore. Maybe she did when they first met because he was this weird celestial being, but once they got to know each other she dropped the formalities. Happy ending!

It was always planned that in her past life she was a Haitian volunteer nurse who died by disease in the 1800s. But upon more research she would've had to be a mixed child between a slave and a white man (given the time it was most likely rape) if she had access and freedom to study medicine (albeit informally since women could not go to college). I don't really know how I feel about writing a story like that so I decided to push her death further ahead in time. But yknow if you're gonna write a historical black person there's gonna be slavery/segregation tied to it because the civil rights movement wasn't really that long ago.

At the time of writing this, I still don't know when she died. But I've been entertaining the idea of around the 70s-80s because of the way she dresses. It's probably her old clothes from when she was alive. Maybe it was AIDs. Maybe she accidentally got poked by a non-sterile syringe while volunteering. Who knows. She was 25 when she died and that has been a consistent fact since early TBOD.

Fun fact: I always intended for her to be neurotypical, but I guess things just have a way of happening, she doesn't really give neurotypical anymore. And that's okay. I think it's funny that Derek's only friends aren't normal people either.

I think that's about it for Paz's metahistory! This took a while. A lot of these facts I've just been storing in my head cuz I never made a habit out of writing oc stuff I just remembered it. Which is not a reliable way to store lore.

I've got a couple of requests for other ocs' histories, so I look forward to going down memory lane again. I might even do one on Derek's full metahistory. I tried that once but the max image limit was 10 and also it had stupid commentary. So I might remake it.

Hope you enjoyed reading if you actually read all of this! If you skimmed, this doesn't apply to you. TASER TASER TASER!!!!!!!!!!

[legallybrunettedotcom]

hello, i hope that you are good and not to bother with this ask! i was wondering about the role of the filmmaker (this artistic career in particular just because cinema is the art form i prefer) in the world we live in today. i remember reading one year ago that xavier dolan had decided to retire because “the world is on fire” and reading today that he’s working on his next movie. i know art can be a protest, a wake up call, a testimony of what happens or even a reminder of everything worthy of notice in the world. but at the end of the day is it just our ego that pushes us to make a movie? don’t we all want to make a tangible difference for the good in the world? i hope i explained myself, and this is in no way an attack, i just wanted to know your opinion since i think we share a sincere love for cinema

bye <3

Hi! It's not a bother at all, I love this. I often find myself thinking about this as well. What is an artist's true motivation behind art? I think we can hear them say many words, but ultimately will never know what is at its very core. Why do we even share art with others? If it's such a solitary and intimate act and experience and we are "doing it for ourselves" why not just make it and never share it? I think social media and capitalism has made these intentions muddied and conversations complex. I think because it seems like everything is about profit that we have become a bit cynical about art and artists. Is art a monologue or a dialogue? Are we truly having a conversation?

When Xavier Dolan made that retirement statement, I understood what he was feeling, making a film does seem insignificant. Millions and millions of dollars are invested in making of a film and it often results in something that isn't very good. I think "times like these" or "world today" to signify bleakness and hopelessness of the world isn't something that really exists. Life and world have always been wrecked with turbulence and tragedy, but you, me, are getting older, more informed, more caring and the more you care the greater the fear, one that you have to fight to not give into.

He said about his new project that “It feels removed from my life and what I know but on re-reading it, I understood that it is a film about the fear of failure, the fear of being rejected, of being misunderstood, the difficulty of creating." He made his first film when he was 19 and he did so much in span of like 10 years, and was lauded as this kid genius, Cannes prizes left and right, but also criticism which is inevitable if you're in the filmmaking business. It comes with the territory and is something you have to accept, but of course it's a difficult thing to be like "yeah, fine, it's great how you just talked shit about my movie." Clearly it took a toll on him and he decided to back out.

If I remember correctly in his retirement statement/interview he was pretty vocal about his filmmaking insecurities, lack of success, is anyone going to see this? will they like it? etc etc which brings up the topic of success and ambition. Being ambitious and wanting to be successful aren't inherently bad things, but we cannot ignore how capitalism is shaping these two, re-defining them, the images of success it evokes.

His statement was also political. Is all art political? I don't know, but I know politics influence many areas of life. Through film we are exposed to so many different experiences and have the opportunity and choice to emphatize. Some of those films carry humanity's greatest tragedies and suffering. I don't think we can draw a clear line between a film and a larger societal change, like drawing a line from A to B to C and so on. It's a drop in the ocean, the wave. We are all part of history, of a specific reality, culture etc. that we can't detach ourselves from. Are there films that are revolutionary and ground-breaking? Of course, but they don't exist in a vacuum.

The question of is it just ego that pushes someone to make a movie is, I think, something that we'll never get an answer to, I doubt anyone will admit to that outloud. And even if they did someone can appear to fiercely and loudly fight you saying "it was never about me."

Why do you make the things you make? I feel like very few people go into a creative endeavour with a clear motivation. There are some noble and profound intentions, but a thread of irrationality is always present.

I think this is always an interesting topic, but ultimately one without a clear answer. It's something that we can dissect to the point of absurdity. It's a conversation that we should have, that is fun to have, but also "meaningless". From the beginning of time we can tell humans love stories and we can philosophize and analyze all we want, but, if I can be sentimental, I am just so glad we have soooo much art out there and I am so glad humans decided to invent movies and I hope we never stop making them!

Feel free to share more of your thoughts!

[joselito28-1]

Film Of an age. Eté 1999. Un danseur de salon serbe vit une romance inattendue et intense de 24 heures avec le frère aîné d'une amie.

Un film rare, une image, une réalisation, un scénario parfaits. Un mélange entre Wong Kar-Wai (Happy together) et les meilleurs films de Xavier Dolan. La qualité des dialogues est impressionnante, comme le jeu des acteurs qui les portent. L'histoire d'un coup de foudre comme il en arrive rarement dans la vie des hommes... et au cinéma. Bouleversant ! A découvrir assurément. Je recommande fortement. 💙👍

[maritamorgado]

(4) Dan McDermott, Kim Kelleher, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Lauren Cohan, Kim Granito and Kristin Dolan attend AMC Networks' 2024 Upfront at Chelsea Factory on April 10, 2024 in New York City (Footage by New Vision/Getty Images)

[wishingicouldfly]

Too Much Sauce

I just had a chance to dig into Harry's unreleased song - leaked in early January 2024 - Too Much Sauce. Hadn't listened properly utnil today. My first impression, nice nod to G. Harrison's, While My Guitar Gently Weeps.

But this is not a happy song. It smacks hard of industry abuse and the image that Harry's been subjected to play since the beginning of his career.

Sample lyrics: "Be what they want you to be." "I'm a simple boy, but I'm a good time Sally." "I'm a good time, make you feel all right." "Chewed it up and spat it out." "Now there's too much sauce, got to keep my fingers clean."

IHeart Radio (Jan. 16) and Anthony Pham (on Jan. 17) both alluded to the leaked song on their respective Instagrams. Not sure if allusions from were intentional but if not, it's a weird coincidence.

and by the way, if you haven't listened to While My Guitar Gently Weeps, there's a reason why Too Much Sauce references it.

What does it all mean? No idea. There's speculation it might be alluding to industry abuse because, coincidentally, today (1/17/24) is also day Irving Azoff is in court answering to alleged Sexual Assault and Trafficking Claims against his associates.

Sexual Assault and Trafficking Claims Against James Dolan, Harvey Weinstein, and Azoff Companies | Wigdor LLP (wigdorlaw.com)

Someone smarter than me can probably make better connections, but I think it's at least interesting to consider given Harry has been represented by Azoff's son's company for almost a decade.

/end

[bookclub4m]

45 New & Forthcoming Indie Press Books by BIPOC Authors 

Every month Book Club for Masochists: A Readers’ Advisory Podcasts chooses a genre at random and we read and discuss books from that genre. We also put together book lists for each episode/genre that feature works by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) authors. All of the lists can be found here.

Fiction

Weird Black Girls: Stories by Elwin Cotman (AK Press)

False Idols: A Reluctant King Novel by K’Wan (Akashic Books)

Sister Deborah by Scholastique Mukasonga, translated by Mark Polizzotti (Archipelago Books)

Bad Land by Corinna Chong (Arsenal Pulp Press)

These Letters End in Tears by Musih Tedji Xaviere (Catapult)

The Coin by Yasmin Zaher (Catapult)

Cecilia by K-Ming Chang (Coffee House Press)

Fog & Car by Eugene Lim (Coffee House Press)

We’re Safe When We’re Alone by Nghiem Tran (Coffee House Press)

A Woman of Pleasure by Kiyoko Murata, translated by Juliet Winters Carpenter (Counterpoint Press)

Bad Seed by Gabriel Carle, translated by Heather Houde (Feminist Press)

The Default World by Naomi Kanakia (Feminist Press)

The Singularity by Balsam Karam, translated by Saskia Vogel (Feminist Press)

I'll Give You a Reason by Annell López (Feminist Press)

Tongueless by Lau Yee-Wa, translated by Jennifer Feeley (Feminist Press)

Outcaste by Sheila James (Goose Lane Editions)

Silken Gazelles by Jokha Alharthi, translated by Marilyn Booth (House of Anansi Press)

Dad, I Miss You by Nadia Sammurtok, illustrated by Simji Park (Inhabit Media)

Secrets of the Snakestone by Pia DasGupta (Nosy Crow)

The Burrow by Melanie Cheng (Tin House)

Masquerade by Mike Fu (Tin House)

The World With Its Mouth Open: Stories by Zahid Rafiq (Tin House)

I Love You So Much It's Killing Us Both by Mariah Stovall (Soft Skull Press)

Non-Fiction

RAPilates: Body and Mind Conditioning in the Digital Age by Chuck D and Kathy Lopez (Akashic Books)

All Our Ordinary Stories: A Multigenerational Family Odyssey by Teresa Wong (Arsenal Pulp Press)

Dispersals: On Plants, Borders, and Belonging by Jessica J. Lee (Catapult)

My Pisces Heart: A Black Immigrant's Search for Home Across Four Continents by Jennifer Neal  (Catapult)

Beyond the Mountains: An Immigrant's Inspiring Journey of Healing and Learning to Dance with the Universe by Deja Vu Prem (Catapult)

Out of the Sierra: A Story of Rarámuri Resistance by Victoria Blanco (Coffee House Press)

Thunder Song: Essays by Sasha LaPointe (Counterpoint Press)

Born to Walk: My Journey of Trials and Resilience by Alpha Nkuranga (Goose Lane Editions)

Jinny Yu (At Once/À La Fois) by Jinny Yu (Goose Lane Editions)

Log Off: Why Posting and Politics (Almost) Never Mix by Katherine Cross (LittlePuss Press)

Becoming Little Shell: A Landless Indian’s Journey Home by Chris La Tray (Milkweed Editions)

World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments  by Aimee Nezhukumatathil (Milkweed Editions)

Opacities: On Writing and the Writing Life by Sofia Samatar (Soft Skull Press)

The Story Game by Shze-Hui Tjoa (Tin House)

Black Meme: The History of the Images That Make Us by Legacy Russell (Verso Books)

Poetry

i heard a crow before i was born by Jules Delorme (Goose Lane Editions)

We the Gathered Heat: Asian American and Pacific Islander Poetry, Performance, and Spoken Word edited by Franny Choi, Bao Phi, Noʻu Revilla, and Terisa Siagatonu (Haymarket Books)

A Map of My Want by Faylita Hicks (Haymarket Books)

[...] by Fady Joudah (Milkweed Editions)

Comics

A Witch’s Guide to Burning by Aminder Dhaliwal (Drawn & Quarterly)

Oba Electroplating Factory by Yoshiharu Tsuge (Drawn & Quarterly)

Lost at Windy River by  Jillian Dolan, Trina Rathgeber and Alina Pete (Orca Books)

[oneefin]

hiya! so this is a long one:

during december, i ran a daily puzzle recommendation column in a music discord server where i sent one cool puzzle every day for 31 days. those puzzles drew from basically every corner of puzzling that i've been sinking into for the past couple of years, so i'm going to dump them all in this singular tumblr post as a quick way to jot down where i've already been. maybe you'll enjoy one of them also!

logic puzzles

1. nonbinary masyu, designed by walker for the 2023 puzzler pride edition of the griddle. link goes to the pdf of the whole puzzle pack, where this puzzle and its rules can be found on page 5.

2. recursive masyu, designed by fleb, with a super unique variety mechanic. link contains the rules. (fleb had a stellar youtube channel going in the past with really well made breakdown videos of various puzzles. all of it is worth watching)

3. rush hour sudoku, designed by chameleon, which adds an interactive mechanic to a sudoku. link contains the rules and a playable solver that they coded themselves

4. the miracle sudoku, designed by mitchell lee, which at this point is incredibly famous. link contains the rules and a playable solver.

5. foggy twilight kurotto, designed by menderbug. good if you've done a twilight kurotto, or a normal kurotto, before. link contains the rules and a playable solver via penpa+.

6. choco banana, designed by tawan sunathvanichkul for the 79th issue of tambox bulletin. link goes to the pdf for the whole puzzle page, where this puzzle is on the left side.

7. litherslink, designed by michael3.14 for the snakes on a plane series in the cracking the cryptic discord server. i've played slitherlink before, and this messed with my head. link goes to a puzz.link solver with the rules in Help -> Rules.

8. star battle, designed by jack lance (rest in peace). oh, is there no link for it? that's weird.

word puzzles

9. bagel shop caption puzzle, a rows garden published by the new yorker. link contains a solver with the clues.

10. printer's devilry, a crossword by kyle dolan with printer's devilry clues. link goes to a solver on amuselabs with the clues and an explanation of how to solve them.

11. safe cracking, a crossword by noneuclidean with an unorthodox theme. link goes to a solver on crosshare with the clues.

12. japanese braille, a sample puzzle from the international linguistics olympiad. link goes to a pdf containing all of the sample puzzles, where this puzzle is on page 4. note that the pdf version of the puzzle (as opposed to the above image) contains extra information that makes the puzzle easier.

13. the 2023 puzzmo holiday puzzlebook, published by puzzmo. link goes to a pdf containing the above puzzle and so many more. if you like what's inside and you're not already playing puzzmo, now is a great time to hop aboard!

hunt puzzles

14. paint by numbers, designed by brian chen for the 2023 galactic puzzle hunt. link includes an answer checker.

15. extreme anagrams, designed by yannick yao for the 2022 galactic puzzle hunt. the above image is a curated selection from the puzzle that i found the most interesting. link goes to the full puzzle.

16. make your own math quiz, designed by azalea weisblat and josh alman for the 2020 galactic puzzle hunt, which was one of my favorite solving experiences of all time. link goes to the full puzzle, which is interactive.

17. worm search, part of a puzzle designed by adeline wong and thomas gordon for the 17th shard puzzle hunt. note that knowing which puzzle from the hunt contains this subpuzzle is a small spoiler, so if you're sure you want to see the full puzzle, it's here.

games

18. 0123456789, an instructionless puzzle game designed by matrix67 that defies explanation. link goes to itch.io

19. the blot thickens, a puzzle designed by scottg for the 2023 confounding calendar. i previously wrote about it here! link goes to itch.io

20. a level set from INSIGHT (or "Insight"? or "IN?IGHT"? or "IN⸮IGHT"? the name isn't stylized consistently), a game designed by maou. this game is instructionless - your goal is to split each shape into two pieces following some rule. the rule for this level set can be inferred from only the image, but the game expects you to toy around with possibilities to figure out why certain solutions are right and others are wrong. the link goes to the full game on steam, where if you'd like to try that, you can buy it and reach this stage yourself.

21. klifur, a bouldering simulator designed by torfi that's so like and so unlike real climbing. link goes to itch.io

22. frog finder, a cute game designed by poobslag. it got updated with more content since i originally played it! link goes to itch.io

tiny tricksies

23. make oo, a puzzle designed by beekie. link goes to itch.io

24. addition puzzle, designed by beekie for the 2021 confounding calendar. link goes to itch.io

25. snow walk, a gif-based puzzle designed by patrick traynor (the maker of patrick's parabox) for the 2021 confounding calendar. link goes to itch.io

26. ペンギン迷路 (penguin maze), a japanese puzzle designed by qrostar. you don't need to know japanese to solve it - the goal is to place one right arrow (->) in an empty space in the grid such that starting from the marked arrow in the top right and moving in the direction of each arrow you pass eventually leads you to the flag in the bottom. link goes to the full puzzle on their twitter ("""X""")

variety

27. an unusual chess puzzle, originally designed by raymond sullivan in "the chess mysteries of the arabian knights", sourced from this blog post on chess.com. this is not a conventional chess puzzle - the goal is to figure out how this position happened. ie: it's currently someone's turn, and you have to figure out what the board looked like 3 moves ago.

28. five houses puzzle, designed by jack lance. i've embellished the problem statement to make the goal more clear:

there are five houses on a street that all have different prices and heights.

let's say the prices are $1M, $2M, $3M, $4M, and $5M, and the heights are 3m, 3.5m, 4m, 4.5m, and 5m, in some order.

given the following constraints, identify the price and height of each house:

1) The house that's taller than the house that's more expensive than the house that's shorter than the house that's cheaper than the house that's blue is red.

(i came across this from a blog post by jacob cohen of puzzles for progress discussing jack lance's passing. worth a read honestly - jack lance was too good)

29. the cursed dice riddle, designed by dan finkel and presented by ted-ed. link goes to the video, which contains the problem statement and the solution.

30. round 2 of s19e6 of the british quiz show only connect, reformatted as a puzzle. this is honestly worth its own blog post, which i'll make later - for now, you can find the full episode here.

31. last but by far not least, LOK, a very artful puzzle book designed by blaz urban gracer of letibus design. link goes to itch.io

i had a great time fishing up all of these during december, and i'm hoping to find even cooler stuff this year and beyond. send me cool stuff if you've got anything!

[buff-electra-truther]

the Starlight Express Alumni Podcast is fascinating because you have

-multiple stories of people accidentally falling into roles that suit them perfectly, in very different ways

-Reva Rice basically never got hurt and one of the only times she did was OFF SKATES when she fell down the stairs

-Dolan Jose REALLY wanting to cover the “girl components” and being SO excited to at least be Wrench

-the mental image of a 6’6 Vegas Showgirl looking guy as a couples therapist

-the perpetual challenge of casting Poppas lol this constantly comes up in different Stex interviews

[aiteanngaelach]

[Image ID: Foreward. When I was a youngfla of about six or seven, the neighbours had a Yank cousin called Jake over to visit. He was sound enough and had toys of the Turtles, which I’d never seen in Ireland. One day I says to him, ‘Are you going to the shop, you are?’, and Jake gets a pure bowsy look across his lip, like I was trying to pull the piss. ‘Why are you telling me to go to the shop? I’ll go to the shop if I want to,’ he says. ‘I was only asking, I wasn’t telling you to go to the shop, Jake,’ I said back. I’d no idea what had gotten him upset. My da was over by the gate listening in with a smirk. Later on he says to me, ‘That thing earlier with the young Yank, when he thought you told him to go to the shop? Do you know why he couldn’t understand you?’ My da then explained to me a theory about the way Irish people speak English, a theory which was given to him by his da. My granda lived on a bóithrín below in West Cork that was on the way to a creamery. He was a member of Tom Barry’s IRA flying column and would constantly watch and take note of whoever passed. Regular Irish people would traverse with their horses loaded with buckets of fresh milk and would come back with horses packed with butter in their saddlebags. This was a brisk, fast-paced road, no time to stop and chat, as milk would go sour in the sun and butter would soften on a horse’s shoulders. It was for this reason that British soldiers would stop and harass anyone who walked the bóithrín: to interrogate, to rile, to get horses pure greasy with sweaty yellow butter. A small injustice, a show of power, and an opportunity to make a person emotional enough to lash out and say the wrong thing. My granda would notice that when an English soldier questioned a man on the way to the creamery, no answer would be right or wrong; any answer meant a long wait and your papers inspected regardless. The standard rules of human interaction had broken down, and to give an answer as Gaeilge would be met with violence. So, the Irish people figured out an in-between.A yes and no at the same time. A quantum superposition of an answer. An answer that would cause the soldier to say, ‘Stupid Paddy gibberish’ and usher the person off before the butter melted down the horse’s shoulders. And this here was my da’s theory as to why I asked the American, ‘Are you going to the shop, you are?’ It was an absurd post-colonial way of arranging a question that had its roots in years of interrogation from the English. Now, I’m not saying that’s the case. This is merely a story that was passed down to me. But, as an adult, I learned that there was a name for how I speak, how I arrange sentences and for the words I use. Hiberno- English: a resistant way of speaking the English language, a language we never asked for. As an author and a musician, I often find myself writing words as if they are music. I search for melody and rhythm on the page. Jazz and blues are African American forms of music, born out of the resistance of African songs to European instruments. Musical notes exist in the African scale that do not exist in the Western scale. These notes are in between the Western notes, and these in-between notes give jazz and blues an emotional complexity that the traditional Western scale cannot deliver. The playful, bowld and fluid way that Hiberno-English resists traditional English does the same thing. This improvised musicality to how we think and speak provides me with a deep literary confidence to explore the in-between, especially when the writing process presents me with resistance. T.P. Dolan’s book is a rigorous lexicon of Hiberno-English words and their etymologies. Words with roots in Gaeilge and words with roots in Shelta.

Dolan died in 2019, and it is my sincere and deepest hope that new lexicographers will continue to document the rich changes in English as it is spoken in Ireland as of 2020. The continual development of Hiberno- English incorporates the influences of African, Eastern European and Asian dialects, as well as newly emerging pidgins forged in the cruelty of direct provision as asylum seekers from different parts of the world communicate with each other while being denied their freedom.

BLINDBOY BOATCLUB June 2020. End ID]

I think I read this before you know

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

Timothy M. Dolan Archbishop of New York

Cardinal Dolan back from his vacation, all rested and ready for me to lust over. I just can't stop thinking about him… and jerking off to him.

On A Side Note: Why do I feel all embarrass seeing Cardinal Dolan going sleeveless now. I guess its the priest showing some skin thing.

Also, why am I imaging him playing with my tits looking at this pic.

[hotchs-second-wife]

DON'T BLAME ME || 4 || Jay Halstead x Thea Rhodes

Synopsis: Theodosia Rhodes, the youngest daughter of a big-time Chicago CEO, needs a husband of her own choice before her father makes that decision for her. Jason Halstead, newly-made Intelligence detective, needs a wife to inherit his portion of his mother's inheritance.

Warnings: Allusion to smut, but nothing outright excluding sexual thoughts. Mentions of arson, kidnapping, murder, rape; allusion to childhood trauma, suicide, cancer-related death; descriptions of vehicular accidents including, but not limited to, car-on-car collision, car-on-truck, train; outright familial/parental pressure; portrayal of misogyny and misandry; Elli's speech downgrades and upgrades a lot because I'm not around kids 24/7 (thank god). Read ahead at your own risk.

THEA

The socialites I grew up with always were—and likely always would be—gossip mongers. When they weren't out spending Daddy Dear's money, they gossiped about the lives of others.

Half speculated Jay had gotten me pregnant, and to keep up Dolan Rhodes' public image, he married me so the child wouldn't be born out of wedlock. The other half suspected he was after my money—why else would a "no-good rat with nothing to show" marry into one of the most prominent businesses in Chicago?

Most Chicago socialites shared one braincell and smarts rarely worked in that one cell. Most, because I still had good friends from high school that were smarter to think I was pregnant, or my husband wanted my money. Especially a detective.

Jay was a kind man, better than half of high society's socialite boyfriends or fiancès. At least he had some decency to make it clear he didn't love me like a husband should, nor would he take advantage of the fact we were married to get into my pants.

"You know if I was him, I would've slept with you in an instant." Shay insisted, leaning against the back of the sofa as I scrolled through articles on my laptop. I'd originally been ordering new air masks for the team, but Shay wanted to snoop on the society I grew up in.

Gabby snorted, "you would've slept with Teddy even if you weren't married to her."

I had to agree with her. While I was into women, Shay was too close for me to think about a romantic relationship with, even just as friends-with-benefits. And considering we worked together, things would've ended awkwardly in the long run. We both knew that.

"Told you he was a good one." Gabby pointed at me. "Makes a good husband by the sound of it, and your family's alright with him. Your sister likes him, and your father hasn't said anything."

"Because he knows I'd just ignore him. As far as he's concerned, I'm in love with Jay." I snorted, turning back to my laptop. "Nothing beats a love match in high society."

Otis pointed at the articles popping up at the bottom of the website open. "You didn't say you're an heiress."

DOLAN RHODES HEIRESS FINALLY MARRIED.

RHODES HEIRESS MARRIED TO A DETECTIVE.

WHO IS DET. JAY HALSTEAD? WHY HAVE WE NEVER HEARD OF HIM?

The last title piqued Cruz and Otis' interest, both nagging me to click on it. As we do, photos the press took from the wedding infiltrate the screen.

"The wedding Theodosia Rhodes and Jason Halstead has been the talk of Chicago lately, with many speculating that Detective Halstead married into the Rhodes family for a piece of the money. Why else would a Canaryville native marry one of the richest young women in Illinois?" Cruz read out loud.

"Because he needed a wife?" Gabby deadpanned.

Cruz continued. "Dolan Rhodes doesn't hire just anyone. Marrying the second child of CEO Cornelius Rhodes would certainly give Detective Halstead the jump into getting his own store.

And let's not forget the dramatic difference on childhoods between the married couple. Detective Halstead grew up with one older brother in Canaryville, while Lieutenant Rhodes grew up as the older of two twins with an older sister. Rhodes' mother died by suicide when she and her twin brother were only ten years old, and Halstead's mother passed when he was 23 and deployed."

"Of course, my mother is brought up again." I grunted, sitting back as Otis took my laptop.

"Detective Halstead is made out to be a loving husband, but would he be there if something happens to the lieutenant?"

"Like any of these pampered poodles would be there if something happened," I rolled my eyes, watching Mouch jump channels.

Most calls happened during the day—people were awake then, and more likely to get in trouble. So we had the night to ourselves.

Which, with firefighters, meant sleeping.

Unless you were a 20-something newly-married lieutenant with a pile of paperwork to do that should have been done when you were on your honeymoon, but wasn't.

I needed popcorn to get me through it, since having Pride and Prejudice playing on my computer required popcorn. I knew we had some left over from a few days ago, so I snatched it from the shelf and put it in the microwave.

"Rough night?" I heard Herrmann's voice ask from behind me. When I nodded, he continued. "How's the marriage going?"

"In all truth, Herrmann, I don't know how it's meant to go. I mean, my mom and father's marriage was pretty much so there'd be good-looking kids guaranteed and a smart heir to the company."

He raised an eyebrow with concern etched on his face. "Is that what you want?"

I shrugged. I didn't know. "Jay told Brooklyn he wanted an amicable partner and a fine marriage that his mother's lawyer would believe, just in case that it took forever for the will to be done. I just wanted my father off my back."

"Do you want a fine marriage, as Halstead calls it?"

"What's with all the questions, Herrmann?" I frowned, taking the popcorn bag out of the microwave and emptying it into a metal bowl.

"I just worry about you, kid. You know you and Gabby are like daughters to me." Herrmann sat with me at the round table. "I can tell something's bothering you, and it's a different look to just paperwork."

I sighed. "I don't know how to be a good wife, much less a good girlfriend. I broke up with Chief Jones' son purely because my father didn't like him being a firefighter."

"I think that break up was more than your father's opinion."

"I don't know what I'm doing, Chris." I stuffed a few popped kernels in my mouth. "I offered myself up for him to sleep with me on our honeymoon and he turned it down."

Herrmann gave me a sympathetic smile. "He's a good man for you, Teddy. He's not taking advantage of a situation he knows you don't know anything about." He grimaced briefly. "Cindy might have mentioned your lack of...preparedness of marriage."

"Gee wow. I love Cindy and all, but—wow."

"She was hoping he'd take it as you only wanting your father off your back and nothing else, and it worked." He excused. "He knows you're doing as well as you know how. I'm sure he'll say something if he wants more out of this arrangement of yours."

I offered him some of the warm popcorn. "Thanks, Herrmann. You have some good advice—some."

"I'll take it." Herrmann shrugged. "Finish that and get some rest, kiddo. Can't have our Lieutenant Rhodes falling asleep on a call."

"You and I both know I could never!"

#

JAY

I knew the apartment would be quiet without her home, but I didn't think it would be quiet enough to hear a feather drop. Especially with housekeepers around.

I couldn't help but call Brooke. I needed someone to talk to and staring at the roof was driving me crazy.

"It's 3-freaking-am. You better not tell me someone's been murdered, because that'll be Voight in half an hour." Brooke's voice hissed through the phone. She was a cranky one whenever she got woken up from her sleep.

According to Thea, that was all Severides. Including Brooke's niece, who slept near all day anyway. Severide was alright with me taking her for the 24 hours he and Thea were working, but so long as Brooke was around and Elizabeth had gone back to Brooke's after we spent time together.

"Is that Mommy's husband?" And to say that little girl loved me was an understatement. Thea had been cautious about introducing me to her so soon, but Elizabeth had delighted over the wedding, and Brooke had to stop her from running after Thea's car when we left for the cruise.

"Yes, say hi to Mr. Jay."

"Hi, Mr. Jay! Do you miss Mommy too?"

I laughed at her question. Not because it was an outrageous thing to think, but it was true. I slept in the same bed with Thea for three nights, and I was missing her. A large, quiet apartment was a lonely one. I was used to living in my own, but I guessed that expecting someone home soon was what made me uneasy.

"I do. Your mommy's fun to be around." I answered truthfully.

Elizabeth let out an agreeing hum. "Mommy is fun. She lets me dress up and do things Daddy won't let me do."

"That's because Daddy says no, and you go to Mommy and she can't say no to you." Brooke snorted, and I listened to their play tussle over the phone. "Thea says she's always wanted a daughter, so when she and Kelly met Elle at the hospital, she immediately offered to help raise her. When Claire met her, she'd mistaken Elle as her sister's baby.

"Apparently Elle looked like Thea when she was a baby." It made sense, she still looked like her mother. Even if Thea didn't give birth to her.

Brooke excused herself, putting her phone on her bedside table, as she took Elizabeth back to bed. When she came back, she was getting a call from Kelly and said goodnight.

So I went back to staring at the ceiling. Then I looked at the bookshelf, glancing over the book spines. I recognised a couple Thea had been reading last week, and there were a few gaps between the book sections. Of course, separated by genre because—as Thea put it—she's not a monster.

I remembered her tour she gave of the apartment, and her showing me the spot on the balcony I was absolutely not allowed to stand on at any given time because the wild birds that visited her claimed that is their spot and she usually left seed out in the mornings she had work.

I'll put some out when I wake up, so she doesn't have to worry about it when she gets home.

One of the other bedrooms—there were five—was turned into her office where, if she wasn't doing CFD paperwork, she was reviewing store reports or resumes for potential store employees. The other four were the master bedroom—hers—mine, Elizabeth's and a spare room. We'd briefly discussed it'd be our future child's room, but she promised she wasn't expecting anything right away.

"CFD Firehouse 51, Lieutenant Rhodes' office." The house phone blared, and I almost forgot it did that. I rolled over to answer the phone on the bedside table.

I was expecting it to be her assistant when I'd answered, but her voice was instantly recognisable. "Did I wake you up?"

"No, I haven't been able to sleep." I excused. "How's work?"

"It's the usual, kid up a tree or in a hole he dug himself." She let out a breathy laugh. Thea went quiet for a moment, "lost a vic earlier."

"I'm sorry, Thea. That's rough."

She hummed. "I figured if anyone understood, you would." I couldn't argue with that, even though if I had to be called in, it was too late. We talked about stuff like that. "We have an engagement party to attend next week, an old friend of mine from high school. Loose term."

"Do you want me to buy an engagement gift?"

"No, no, she's got everything she could ever want and if she didn't, she could just ask her fiancé for it anyway. Just wanted to make sure you knew." I'd imagined social events would be a key feature of this marriage, and Thea had told me as such, but I'd figured nonsensical, baseline events like charity fundraisers where we'd only run into a few people she knew through her father.

She knew the engaged couple, so I'd have to act like I know her more than I actually do.

Make Brooke write a list of everything she knew about Thea.

"You can just wear a dress shirt and pants with your work shoes if you want," she continued, sitting her phone up on the desk as she opened her laptop. "What colour shirts do you have?"

"Uh, blue, black, and white—the one I wore at the wedding."

She hummed, and seemed to scroll through a website on her laptop. "We'll go with the white—if you don't mind—and I'll see if I can find a dress to match."

"Don't you have a dress picked out?" I asked, and Thea explained couples matching was the bride-to-be's thing. And likely the theme of their wedding. "Do you need me to do anything else?"

"Act like you're in love with me. I don't know how hard it could be, but I'm sure you'll find out."

The firehouse bell rang, and Thea said goodbye before hanging up. Act like you love me.

If I needed to put on a show in front of rich people, I could at least embarrass myself in front of friends first.

Brooke liked the idea of taking Elizabeth to see her mom and dad after work, so I convinced the girls to come buy flowers for Thea. Elizabeth led the way, of course, pointing out that her mother loved pink flowers and we settled on roses.

"Do you like Mommy?" Elizabeth asked, as Brooke strapped her into her seat. "Daddy says he likes Mommy a lot, and I asked him why he didn't marry her, but he doesn't like her that much."

"Because your mom and dad are best friends, like Mr. Jay and I," Brooke reasoned. "They love each other just as much as they love you, but it's a different love than you're thinking of, Sweet pea."

"Mommy and Daddy are best friends?" She looked at me with her little brown eyes sparkling. "Are you and Mommy best friends?"

"Someday, maybe. But we are friends. I used to be with Aunt Gabby."

Elizabeth giggled, "Auntie Gabby is funny. That's why Mommy likes her so much. Do you still like Auntie Gabby?"

"She's a Severide, naturally curious." Brooke smiled, sitting in the driver's seat. She looked at her niece in the rearview, checking if she was ready to see her parents.

When we arrived at the firehouse, only a few of the crew were sprinkling out and I recognised a few from the wedding. Thea's team, if I remembered them correctly. Elizabeth bounced at my feet, waving at her mother's team who happily waved back, and Brooke scrolled through her messages.

"They always take the longest; doesn't bother Elli though." Brooke snorted, playing a video showing her niece. Before long, her little voice squealed as Kelly and Thea walked out the apparatus doors with Casey and Gabby in tow.

As she ran towards them, Thea crouched down and opened her arms. "Principessa! Do you come to pick us up with Auntie Brooke?"

"And Mr. Jay has something for you!"

"I don't think you were supposed to say that, Elle," Kelly laughed, playing with her hair as Thea held her. He smiled at Brooke and nodded at me in greeting as we stopped in front of them.

"Aren't they pretty, Mommy?" Elizabeth meant the flowers, but Thea kept staring at me.

Kelly slipped his daughter from her arms with a "Tedd, I'm not an expert with romantic gestures, but I think you're meant to say something."

"Thank you," she squeaked. With a cough, this quiet Thea faded away. "You didn't have to."

"You're my wife."

Gabby practically squealed with Shay—Elizabeth's godmother—behind her and she gave them a side glance.

"I don't think I can do a big grand gesture every time I pick you up, but I can at least bring you flowers in a colour you like." I reasoned. Husbands who liked their wives did romantic gestures for their wives all the time, right? Sure, Thea was a means to an end and so was I, but it didn't mean I shouldn't bring her flowers or make her breakfast when I could.

Thea smiled, letting out a breath, before pointing at her BMW parked in front of the house. "I drove here."

"That's fine, I'll take Kelly and Shay home," Brooke laughed, passing Elizabeth to me. "Since it's your 48 hours with Elli, I'm sure Kelly won't mind her being with you."

Kelly and Thea gave each other silent looks—one which likely said I'd be a dead man at some point—before he agreed. He said goodbye to Elizabeth, and waved a goodbye to me as well.

Elizabeth fiddled with my collar as we walked to Thea's car. "He'll get used to you being around Elli. We agreed it was up to her if you're in her life, and she wanted to meet you, so he's adjusting."

"I'm fine with him not wanting me around Elizabeth, I understand. I wouldn't want a man I barely know around our young daughter either." Our?! Why did I say our?! Why did I assume we'd have a daughter?

"Mr. Jay missed you last night, Mommy. I bet it was really cold at Mommy's House without you there." She looked at Thea from the back seat. "He called Auntie Brooke because he was lonely."

"Because he and Auntie Brooke are best friends, principessa."

The ride home was mostly quiet, the occasional mention of something random from Elizabeth in the backseat. When she asked for snacks, Thea reminded her that there were snacks at home.

Getting to the apartment was less of a hassle with her around, since Doorman Willy recognised her from a mile away. There wasn't any triple checking to make sure we lived in the apartment, and Elizabeth enjoyed her lollipop as we rode the elevator.

Thea let out a sigh of content as she dropped her bag beside the door in the entry, fumbling with her keys to hang them on a hook with T etched into the holder. She'd gotten a J put above my key hook once I'd gotten the spare key, and a new spare was being made for her to give Elizabeth in ten years.

"Jay will put a show for you, and I'll get some snacks ready, okay?" When she received a nod, Thea headed into the kitchen. The apartment wasn't overly big, the kitchen and living room being open, with three bedrooms on the main floor and a loft above the kitchen. A laundry room was across the corridor to Elizabeth's bedroom along with a bathroom between them. Thea's ensuite was between our bedrooms; mine would become the spare bedroom whenever someone outside of Firehouse 51 and the unit would come by, and we'd move some of my things like photos into her room.

Thea set down the snacks in front of Elizabeth. "I'm going to figure out some dresses for upcoming events. You're fine to watch Elli for a few minutes, right?"

"Mommy runway!" Her daughter cheered, holding a carrot stick in one hand and a cookie in the other.

"Okay, let Mommy pick out a few dresses and you and Jay can rate them."

Elizabeth wiggled up onto the sofa, patting the cushion beside hers and eagerly signalling for me to sit down. Her mother had skipped off to get into some dresses.

The first was a pink off-the-shoulder dress that reached her mid-thigh, with bubblegum-like sleeves connected over the chest. It complimented her skin tone well, and thanks to her morning runs and her job, her legs worked with the dress rather than against it.

"Pretty Mommy!" Elli clapped her hands together excitedly.

Thea thanked her, giving her a curtsy as well as the dress would allow.

"It looks beautiful on you." I agreed earnestly. There was no point in lying—especially since she was warming up to me—and even a toddler could see she was beautiful.

We continued Thea's fashion show before Elizabeth became sleepy and was put to bed. "She was probably keeping Brooklyn up all night," Thea laughed, making sure the bedroom door was fully closed. The in-house chef mastered away at lunch, as we settled on the sofa.

We decided on a movie to watch, and sat in silence. Nothing inherently big happened, and we swapped watching the movie to being on our phones occasionally. "I've got a new candidate," Thea grunted, slumping further into the sofa.

"I thought Casey got the candidates."

"I sometimes get the chiefs' kids or the captains' brothers. They'd rather their candidate family members get 'better' training from a 'higher' officer." Thea rolled her eyes. "It's a load of bull, but at least it gives us something to do. Someone new, as well. Chief Jones' kid."

Why'd that name sound familiar?

Thea nodded beside me, "yes, one of my exes' little sister. She's a total sweetheart, but I think having a chief for a dad and officers for brothers gets to her head a lot of the time."

"You'll knock her down a few pegs, and get her into shape." I tried to reassure her, but I don't think she wanted it as she kept looking at her phone. I just thanked God that I wasn't in-charge of anyone too, and continued watching the movie.

[footytea]

Cole Palmer & Thea Spencer have apparently been dating since before November 2023, according to a tattle thread dedicated to footballers and wags, when she posted a tiktok of inside his car - so they've probably been dating since way before then.

She follows both his full sister and one of his half sisters on instagram and tiktok. A gossip page (gsm_hq) posted about them in April, and then Thea deleted her instagram and removed all her tiktoks and has just reactivated this week after the euros final.

Thea was apparently at the England v Slovenia game sat with his parents, there are photos of him hugging her but there isn't an image with her face. The picutres of her, her hair looks different to the most recent photo she posted - however she could've got her hair done or posted an old photo.

Apparently everyone in the football world already knows who she is as she dated Rhys Williams from Liverpool for a bit, but she is from Manchester so was probably floating in Coles circles. People don't know when Thea and Rhys broke up, but I'm assuming it was around the 2023 transfer window when it was announced he was to move to Aberdeen.

She doesn't follow Coles other half sister, or mum on instagram but that might not mean much as a lot of influencers have priv accounts.

Naomi Dolan isn't his girlfriend, I think they're childhood friends / she is somehow related / close to his friend that passed in 2020 - rip. According to her tiktok vlogs, she posted a video celebrating her boyfriends birthday in like 2022 showing a birthday card with the name Jordan on - so I don't think shes ever been out with Cole.

.