#don’t mind me I’m spiraling into (simping) madness

[hanakihan]

I fucking give up and yes I may have an obsession with jinchul’s bare back okay—

[rinzis]

what your favourite genshin impact character says about you: no holding back edition

i’m finally allowed to post again!!! great joy

aether/lumine: you’re basic as hell sorry . also stop fighting over who the better twin is they’re literally the same person but different genders. you’re pretty fun to be around ig but i feel like you eat food off the floor. 5 second rule not 5 hour rule ok

amber: ok i’ve actually met a bunch of people whose fav is amber and you guys are actually really sweet but pls learn when to stfu you’re so loud . also you guys go feral whenever someone (everyone else in the fandom) says amber sucks like chill bae

kaeya: jesus fucking christ your horny is off the scale. every kaeya stan i’ve ever met cant keep it in their pants. and we know the only reason you like him is bc of his giga bouncer supreme ultra man rack 3000. stop saying you want him to smother you with his tits. get some help.

lisa: YOU GUYS ARE COOL AS HELL!!!!!! as someone who relates to lisa you’re very cool. most chill people to be around and you’re definitely super smart. not lazy but just reserved. 11/10. oh btw do you use her for climbing?

diluc: do you have daddy issues? you guys definitely have a thing for the tsundere archetype and you probably like zhongli too. just admit you want diluc to do the kabedon thing on you and move on. we know what you’re like. also how does it feel being so short? i swear every diluc stan is small as hell

jean: YOU GUYS are so sweet pls whenever i play co op with a jean main it’s just like wow you’re so strong and nice and thanks for healing my entire team wow........ however although you’re so responsible you probably enjoy cancelling people on twitter for fun . sorry

venti: VENTI STANS. I LOVE YOU. is it partially because i myself am a huge venti stan? yeah no. you probably missed out on his first banner and are saving for his rerun..... same......... anyways you guys give off the best vibes n it’s always so fun to be with you. i love you all

razor: i have one question for you guys . did you either like warrior cats or were you a wolf kid?

albedo: you guys are so smart wtf !!!!!!!!! you’re so rational in co op mode too and if you have albedo you probably use him as a sub dps for your teammates bc you’re so good at reading situations........ then again you also have some weird shit going on like cmon it’s milk after cereal you psychopaths

sucrose: you either kin sucrose or are creepy sorry . ok but she’s so underrated like her passive 3........ WOAH.............. you definitely use her in spiral abyss,,, also are you a burnout successful kid who used to kiss teachers’ asses and middle school was a breeze before getting to college/university and realising that professors don’t give a shit anymore? wow who would have guessed

diona: wannabe catgirls assemble! please move on from your warrior cats phase you’re almost as bad as the razor stans but you’re adorable too. you probably want qiqi or klee but don’t have them so you’re settling for diona

barbara: thanks for healing my team in co op barbara stans !!!! you guys are genuinely so nice omg thank you for being so reliable all the time,,, do you highlight your notes so it’s more art than notes? yeah that’s what i thought

mona: ok if no one else is gonna say it i will,,, no one understands shit about your astrology thing going on. i’m a caprisun? great

bennett: YOURE ALL ADORABLE. thanks for helping us out in co op!!!! you definitely advocate for bennett rights and yes pls do,,,, we all love benny deep down!!!! you either don’t have him or have him at like C218372

fischl: jojo stans

just kidding but you all probably act like fischl irl. also did you have an emo phase

klee: ok if your favourite is klee you definitely don’t have her . waiting patiently for klee’s rerun!!!! shes just so adorable and so are you guys,,,,, so fun to be around !!!!! you probably have diluc and hate him

noelle: you guys....... the rarest of the rare. you love trying to convince people that she’s a great healer dps n everything else...... no bae you probably use her because you like geo and claymores like hmm yes i will now hit things hard with my big sword and rock power

ok onto liyue now sweats nervously

childe: you guys are ALL simps. ALL OF YOU. go n touch some grass bro!!!!! you either think he’s super sexy or you bully him and make the ed sheeran jokes (not funny) . you follow griffin burns on tiktok too dont you

zhongli: you either love him for his gentle demeanour or you want him for his fat giga dumptruck 3000. make up your minds!!!!! you guys are so clueless in co op mode but you’re hilarious. you probably have his energy recharge at like 200% so you can use his ult and hear I WILL HAVE ORDER every 4 seconds

xiao: STOP GROWLING AT PEOPLE. every xiao main is so aggressive not joking . yeah the only reason you saved for him is because you want to stare at him all day n listen to him growling . you guys genuinely scare me . no he would not hold ur hand and do cute things with you,,,,,, if given half the chance he’d probably decapitate you

ningguang: alright jeff bezos, hand over the cash. yeah so you’re either rolling in it or want to be her sugar baby. but you guys have such an intimidating aura like playing with ning mains is just .... you always build her so well she’s an absolute tank!!!!!! thanks for scaring the shit out of me but also protecting me

beidou: YOU GUYS. you’re fun to be around but i also feel like you could probably destroy me in 3 seconds flat !!!!!!!! do you hate diluc too? i love playing with you guys because all i hear is TO ASHES every 2 seconds and she’s just cool as hell so yeah i really like beidou stans. i feel like you all have her so congrats

qiqi: you’re so cute,,,,, best healer !!!! you probably love playing qiqi because her skills look so cool and you prefer playing heal/support,, if you don’t have her you just love her bc she’s so tiny . spoiler alert but do you have a thing against xiao for killing her lol

xiangling: you’re so chaotic help,, you definitely pair her with xinyan too because you give off the most uncontrollable vibes,,,,,,, did you level her to use her in the spiral abyss or do you just think polearms are neat and don’t have xiao or zhongli

xinyan: please reread xiangling paragraph but replace polearm with claymore . you like either bring me the horizon or bubblegum pop there’s no in between

chongyun: you’re all the nicest people ever and you’re so chill . you love chongyun with your whole hearts and i adore you !!!!!! the animation of him eating the popsicle melts your hearts (no pun intended) and you just think he’s really cool :( ily all

xingqiu: chongyun vibes but make it kinda unnerved . burnout successful kids 2.0 ,,,,, are you clever too? you also love xingqiu and believe he’s worthy of being a 5 star with his heal and damage reduce !!!!! he’s so helpful wtf and so are you . please stop going on about his legs though it’s highkey weird asf

keqing: COOL PERSON SYNDROME! i main this gal so i love you all . do you get as mad as i do when people say she doesn’t deserve to be a 5 star? yeah . are you a procrastinator and try and take lessons from keqing but are just so lazy? do you use her teleport because you can’t be bothered to climb mountains? yeah that’s what i thought

ganyu: you’re all the nicest people alive and i adore you all . thanks for being so kind in co op mode . every ganyu main i’ve met is so sweet and you’re all so powerful too woah....... you hate the cocogoat jokes too >:( pls mihoyo give her more attention !!!!!

scaramouche: you have rights guys we know you exist. also we know you want him to be playable. we know that you think his hat is neat. we know you love this shawty but please be quiet.

signora: wait you guys exist

hu tao: you prank people for fun like pls stop im so on edge when youre around . plus i feel you laugh at videos of babies falling over n shit,,,,,,, you cant wait for her banner but also please shut the fuck up

dainsleif: please leave me the fuck alone we did 1 (one) quest with him and you’re all obsessed with him . ok second hand dmitri from fire emblem you want a medal for being a fucking simp?

[baka-monarch]

C-can i request Anarociet but with Tiny Roman plz?

I Can Do This

Roman placed his room nervously, talking to himself as he waited for it to be time to go. "It's just a sleepover, nothing special. Yes it's with the two most popular giants at school that just so happen to be my crushes, but that's fine- everything is fine it's all going to be fine-" he kept mumbling that it would be fine to himself. "I can do this."

Earlier that day Roman remembered the conversation that had sparked this idea in the first place.

"Roman, I was wondering if you would like to spend the night at my house tonight" Janus had asked during lunch. Catching Roman completely off guard and flustering him. "It would be just the tw-"

"The three of us!" Virgil had cut in suddenly. "Because I'm going to be there too." As the emo said this he had sent a small glare over at Janus. Roman barely noticed the glaring contest the giants were having, as he looked back and forth between the two of them in a blushing mess.

"Y- yes!" Roman exclaimed out of nowhere, drawing both of his crushes' attention. "I- I mean, y- yeah." He mentally cursed himself for his gay pinning.

And now Roman was here. Panicking in his room as he waited until it was time to spend the night with two hot giants. Two attractive giants that were very popular and in no way felt anything romantic for him.

"I can't do this." Roman admitted before dramatically collapsing face first into his bed. "Why did I agree to this?" He asked himself.

"Because you're a gay simp who doesn't know how to ask someone out." The familiar voice caused Roman to jump and spin. around, having not expected a response.

"Remus-" Roman panicked, seeing his brother standing in his open door way. "How long have you been standing there-"

"Long enough." Remus cackled softly. "Look, it's not like it's a date." Remus shrugged before hopping onto Roman's bed next to him.

"But what if is one," Roman started spiralling. "You've seen how they act- it's like they are a couple with how much they argue - what if they know! What if they're just trying to mess with me- what if-" Roman was suddenly cut off by Remus covering his mouth with a hand.

"Blah blah blah- okay, one, Janus and Virgil aren't dating, and number two, neither of them would ever play with someone's emotions. Ever. And thirdly," Remus paused, he'd been friends with those giants for awhile now, and was well aware of their pinning for Roman, especially of their rivalry and how they kept sabotaging each other so that Ro wouldn't end up dating the other. But he couldn't tell his Ro-bro that, not yet. "And thirdly you're my brother, so you know the ways of getting dick, as I have taught you well!"

Roman just looked at him for a moment before laughing. "You're disgusting!" He pushed Remus off the bed.

"You know it!" Remus smiled. "But seriously, you better?"

"Better." Roman responded.

"Ready?"

"Not in a million years."

"Well, it's just a sleepover." Remus shrugged, and before he could say anything else, Roman's alarm went off, significantly it was time to go.

☆☆☆

Roman got off the bus on the giant side of town nervously. "It's just a sleepover." He repeated his brother's words to himself quietly as looked upon the giant house he would be spending the night at.

Walking up to the house and it's door was easy, it was just not chickening out that was the hard part. I can do this I can do this I can do this- Roman kept repeated over and over again in his head. It's just a sleepover, he reasoned, nothing more. Then, when he finally reached the doorbell- the regulated human doorbell that is- he took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell.

There was some loud shuffling that followed, with several loud bangs, and whispered "I've got it-" "no, this is my house I'll-" "he's my cru-" "mine too-" "shut up!" that could be heard. Then suddenly the door swung open making Roman jump in surprise. Inside first Roman saw Virgil holding the doorknob with one hand while his other arm was preoccupied with holding back Janus.

"Hey, Princey." Virgil breathed out with an almost goofy looking smile as Janus pouted. Even when they were giants towering over him, Roman couldn't help but to fund them adorable like this, and found himself giggling at their antics.

"Heya Emo Nightmare and Dr. Jeckle." Roman smirked, using the nicknames he called them most the time. "Mind letting me in?"

Virgil and Janus both blushed, not that Roman noticed as was usual. They both had to take a moment to collect themselves after seeing that smirk that never failed to melt either of them.

"O- of course!" Janus was the first to snap out of it, and was happy to push Virgil out of the way. To which Virgil cussed quietly and flipped him off from behind the door, not wanting to upset Roman. "Here." Janus knelt down and offered a hand to the adorable human.

"Thanks Jan!" Roman smiled as he climbed onto their hand happily. Virgil glared at Janus, and would have growled if it weren't for Roman being there.

Janus ignored Virgil as he carried Roman inside, the emo shutting the door behind them. "My parents won't be home for the weekend, so we can do whatever you would like, Roman."

"Yep, they laundered money, and now they're on the run." Virgil smirked teasingly at Janus as he made the BMC reference that got Roman to bounce with joy.

"Either way" Janus gritted out as he glared at Virgil. "We have the house to ourselves." It was by then that they had gotten to Janus' room, where he gently set Roman down on the bed before sitting down himself on the floor, with Virgil following suit.

With that, they commenced with the sleepover. They did the usual teenage things, like playing games, talking, and finally binging Disney for the rest of the night (and Janus and Virgil both claiming that it was their idea and that they were the one who rented the movies, not the other).

"Huh, it looks like we're running out of popcorn..." Roman had finally mumbled at some point around midnight.

"I'll get it!" Both Janus and Virgil said at the exact same time, causing then to glare at each other.

"Virgil, I need to talk to you for a second." Janus started, and before Virgil could say anything he added. "Alone. While we're getting popcorn, okay?" Then before Roman could say anything both the giants left the room.

"What are you doing?" Janus whispered to Virgil once they were in the kitchen. "I had this whole night planned out! I was finally going to-"

"You think I didn't know?" Virgil looked at Janus with emotion. "I- I just need more time- you can't just- just take him-"

"Virgil." Janus placed a hand onto Virgil's shoulder. "Neither of us are getting anywhere like this." Virgil looked at him for a while silently, before sighing.

"I know..."

Back in Janus' room, Roman was getting worried. Had he messed up? Did he do something wrong? Why else would they need to talk alone unless Roman was the problem? His mind kept supplying him with these worrying thoughts... until he thought about Remus. It was a gross thought about his brother and a little invasive but... it reminded him that he was small, he could find out what was going on. So, he would do just that. "I can do this." He told himself.

"We keep trying and trying to one up each other and it's getting no where!" Janus exclaimed.

"I know!" Virgil growled out in frustration. "It was easier when it was just us and Remus- why did he have to have a brother-" he groaned.

"Exactly- this rivalry has gone too far, we should just tell him-" Janus started.

"-No!" Virgil cutt him off. "It could make him upset or worse, mad." Janus paused.

"At least we would be telling the truth..."

"Janus?" Virgil looked at his old friend worried, "You never want to tell the truth."

"This is... different." Janus paused. "Roman is so wonderful, and amazing, and god he is too talented for his own good" Virgil chuckled at that.

"Yeah, he just lights up a room. And his little smile..." Virgil blushed.

"God we both just melt don't we?" Janus added making Virgil chuckle sadly.

"We're a mess..."

"Yeah... but a mess that loves Roman" Janus said, causing Virgil to blush even more.

"Yep." The emo added, popping the p.

"You what?" Both of the giants jumped as Roman was suddenly in the kitchen with them, having heard the entire thing.

"W- w- well- well- uh-" Virgil sputtered.

"R- Roman-" Janus said surprised and flustered, not able to get words out any better then Virgil.

Roman just looked back and forth between them, before it dawned on him, and he started laughing at how dumb he was- well, how dumb they all were. Bith giants stopped when Roman started to laugh and looked down at the human nervously.

"Uh, R- Roman?" Virgil started, worried, as Janus just looked at Roman nervously.

"Bith you, c'mere." Roman said, to which both giants looked terrified (which was hilarious to Roman) before kneeling down to be at level with him. "Closer." Roman commented, making them lean down more. "A little more, I need to be able to reach your lips." Roman smirked as he made two giants blush, but they obliged.

In turn Roman walked up to each giant, first Virgil then Janus, and kissed their top lip.

"I love you too!" Roman exclaimed with a bright smile, that promptly killed both of the giants.

I did it.