#don't be afraid of losing your hotness! it's a price that's worth paying if you do end up paying it! being yourself is better than anything

[felixvanhuss]

Positivity post for people who actually got less hot after transitioning. I can't be the only one out there who went from being attractive to being unattractive. It was, in fact, something I was terrified of happening, and it happened. And guess what? I'm still fucking happier now, unattractive and true to myself, than I was when I was hot and suppressing my true self. Like, so much happier. It's not even close

Do I miss being hot? Sure. But not enough to have even an ounce of regret for transitioning. If you're worried about becoming unattractive if you transition, know that I, for one, think that even if that happens, it's still fucking worth it

(Also I'm like way more charismatic now that I don't wanna die, so that's pretty cool)

[el-dibidibidorado1]

Untamed pt.5

A/n: sorry about the late update. I had a busy week.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Y/n plus size

Warnings: none

Masterlist

Today is the day I go on the small date with Bucky. Well it wasn't a date, he was accompanying me to the mall. Usually I would go the way I woke up because it was always packed and I just didn't have a reason. But NOW, I feel the need to look a bit decent. I mean it's Bucky! As i finished putting on some light mascara I heard the knock echo throughout the house. Quickly I put on some chapstick and run downstairs missing the last step falling straight to my side making a huge sound.

"Y/n?" He called from the other side of the door.

"Come in" I groan and slowly start to get up when a warm hand helps me.

"You okay?" I nod and give him a sheepish embarrassed smile.

"I'm a klutz" I laughed quickly fixed myself feeling my cheeks get red.

"You okay?" He again asked worried.

"Yep yep yep" I try to avoid his gaze as feel my shoulder bruise up. I grabbed my small backpack and beanie walking out closing the front door.

"Ready?" He nodded.

"You wanna drive or?"

"Your car" it was my mom's car, but who cares. Slipping into the driver's seat putting my backpack in the back. Silence filled the car and my hands began to get clammy due to the anxious air.

"Y-you can put on music if you want?" I looked at him and gave him my phone.

"Um you can go to YouTube or my playlist" my eyes went back to the road.

---------

How the fuck do you use this?! All I have is a phone that opens that Steve gave me, but this is is like a glass box.

"You okay?" She asked and gave me a worry look.

"I don't-" I handed her the phone and she took it while paying attention to the road.

"Sorry. I forgot about the lock" she said and gave it back. I began experimenting with it. This must be it? It has a music note. As soon as I open the note the screen filled with stuff. Music?

"So I just pick one or?"

"Whatever you want or just shuffle" shuffle? Just pick one you are embarrassing yourself. Anxiety rose and I choose one, she looked at me with a small smile and began humming along.

She quietly sang and my attention went straight to her. She smiled brighter and continued. She looked beautiful as always, it made me want to make her into a small size and keep her on my shoulder so no one would touch her. I feel like if I need to protect her.

"What?" She caught me looking at her.

"Nothing" I sat up and looked out the window avoiding her. Her music wasn't that bad, I understood the words that's what matters.

"Here we are" she turns off the engine and puts on her hat. Neither of us moved. Just complete silence.

"Bucky" she broke the ice.

"Have you...um..have you been following me?" Oh no.

"Do you follow me home?" Oh shit no.

"Or everywhere I go?" Holy shit No! This is it, isn't it, our newly forming friendship is over. Was there a friendship at all?

"I...." scratching my head I couldn't look at her in the eyes.

"You what?"

"Y-y-yes I followed you" she let out a huge sigh and hold my left hand. The metal hand. I forgot to put on my glove. The feeling of her small fingers was warm against mine. The warmth brought me peace until she pulled back and took the glove and put it on me. She wasn't afraid of it, and it brought me joy to know that someone liked my arm. Even when I fucking hated it.

"I was just curious, that's all." I let out a shaky laugh and we both got out of the car.

---------

Where do I start? Where do I start? My Christmas list was all folded and messy. Oh great, it's Tom's turn. Should I even buy him something? A warm breath shivered down my spine. I look to my right and see Bucky face right next to me.

"Yes?" I asked playfully. Bucky lookes at me, that's when I notice how close we are. I feel the warmth of his breath on my cheeks and his ocean eyes on mine.

"Tom" I point at my list and remove my gaze from his to look at the paper. He takes a step back, but inside I wish he didn't.

"Tom. Tom would like new clothes, no?"

"Yeah. Sounds about right." I nod my head and open the door to a jam packed mall. In the corner of my eye I see Bucky tense up.

"You alright?"

"Just a lot of people" he anxiously said.

"Here, hold on to my back pack so we don't get separated" he nodded and let out a small laugh.

"What?" I turn to look at him.

"Its adorable" oh god that smile. If he smiled more it can get him whatever he wants in this world.

"What is?" My face warmed up.

"The backpack. It's an elephant" he stopped laughing and touched the elephants ears.

"His name is Dumbo"

"Dumbo?" No way. No fucking way?! He doesn't know who Dumbo is?! He closed my mouth and chuckled. I didn't even know that my mouth was open.

"A bug is going to fly in"

"You don't know who Dumbo is?"

"No" I lost my shit. My hands where up in the air doing some weird shit.

"Am I supposed to know?" He laughs a bit harder that it melted my heart.

"Yea-" a lady bumps into me making me stumble.

"Jesus! What a bitch" I angrily mumble and I straighten my bag.

"Come on, let's go to get this over...." I walk in but turn around and face Bucky who is freaking enormous.

"Then I will show you Who Dumbo is, deal?" I stick out my hand and he gently holds it.

"Deal" that's when I hear his mechanical arm.

"Sorry it wines by itself" I let out a laugh and start walking to the nearest cheap clothing store. I feel a slight tug on my back pack and slow down for him to catch up.

The store was excellent for Tom. That picky motherfuckin egg (rich person), all he wants is designer clothing but my cheap self don't want to give it to him. What I plan is to get some shirt or jacket and sew the tag on it so he can feel proud of him self, also maybe he can give me more days off or something worth it.

"What are you going to buy him?"

"Hmmmmmm" I began looking at the shirts until I found one and checked out the price. Hmmmm Orange? Is that his color?

"Buck is Orange his color?" I cock my head to the side and look at him.

"No. It's purple? Blue? I have no idea Y/n" I take out my phone and call Rosie. Couple rings in she answers.

"Woah, somebody is up?"

"What ?!" She's angry.

"Babe, I was wondering what Tom wanted for Christmas?" I hold my phone against my ear and shoulder while in the corner of my eye I see Bucky looking at some sunglasses and trying them on. Looking smo-

"How the fuck am I supposed to know?" She distracted me.

"Well you know him better than anyone else in the damn diner"

"He kept on complaining about a damn scarf from one of them designer's clothing"

"Ahhh great" I put the shirt back on its rack and began walking towards the front desk to ask for scarfs.

"Bye"

"Bye bitch" i hang up my phone and try to look for the person who works here. Looking over the desk I see a group of girls sitting and gossiping.

"Excuse me" they didn't respond. I tied calling them once more but the bitches ignore me and I began to lose it. Bucky stands next to me putting a hand on my arm and slightly nods. I gave him a annoyed sigh and he pulls me to the side.

"Excuse me" his alluring voice catches their attention.

"What do you need, sweets?" A girl almost his height with a nicely portioned body (plastic) and red hair comes from behind the desk, and her two friends follow behind who look the same.

"Y/n" Bucky robs me away from them.

"Hmm" he motions me to say what I needed to say and pushes me gently to the front.

"What?" She urges.

"Hi. Um do you have any scarfs? For men?" I asked.

"I don't know? Did you look for them?" She rudely replied and checked Bucky out. Ohhh she's pushing them. She is fucking pushing my buttons.

"Do you have any or not?" I asked once more calmly.

"Are you deaf?" That's it! I'm going to jump over this desk and punch her shit te-

"Do you have them or not?" He interrupted me and the tone of his voice was a bit stern.

"Yes, sweets. They are in the back against the wall" she sweet talked to him. That cunt. Plastic cunt! I felt like jumping over but Bucky grabbed my arm and pulled me away. As he pulled me away I heard them mumble something about me, about how my body was and how i managed to get him. My anger and confidence disappeared, I felt embarrassed and disgusting. I might embarrassed him too, with my behaviour and just......me.

"There they are" he pointed and I moved from his grasp and looked for a bright colored one. What color did he like again? As I was about to ask Bucky I see the girls talk to him. It feels like high school all over. Hot guys talking to pristine girls. Then making fun of me, because of my body shape or just me being myself. After five minutes, I wanted the world to swallow me hole, but i didn't know that his eyes where concentrated on me and he smiled. And it took away a little piece of what I felt like at the moment.

"Ready?" He interrupted them. I nod and he takes the scarf approving.

"Ready to pay" as she got close to him, but he moved away to put the scarf around me and walked us to the desk. I take off the scarf and beanie to put my hair in a bun.

"Hold on" I quickly run and get the sunglasses that he was looking at and run back.

"Woah" she said about the marks and I pull my hair out of the bun. As Miss plastic was scanning the idems the girls continued mumbling about Bucky. A pang of jealousy hit my chest.

"Thank you" I sarcastically said and walked out with Bucky behind. He took hold of my arm and made me look at him.

"You look upset" he asked worried. My eyes slowly watered and my cheeks turned hot with emotion.

"Bucky...can we leave?" He nodded and I tried to bring the heat of my cheeks down. We got out of there and he got a phone call. I tried not to listen but it was a bit difficult.

"Can Dumbo wait?" He hung up the phone.

"Yep. Dumbo can wait" he smiled and it brought a small smile out of me. We arrived at his house and we bid each other goodbye.

Tag : @tnupsweetpie