#don't come at me for this one i know shannon has been focusing the last few books on him

[lucyshypemaster]

keefe was actually insane for this

[bookwyrminspiration]

I was reading the tags on your last post and I was curious what you thought about the cache scene? I love seeing others perspectives about different parts of books and stuff like that if you want to share!!!!

I'd love to share! This is more what my immediate thoughts were upon reading it, but I wasn't the hugest fan. As I was going through I couldn't help thinking: are we seriously still going?

That one scene where Oralie, Dex, and Sophie go through the seven secrets takes 73 pages, which may not seem like a lot, but Stellarlune's 728 pages. That's 10 percent of the entire book. That, to me at least, is a lot of time to dedicate to one unbroken scene. I also wondered what Shannon was doing from a writer's perspective, because I understand she created a corner and backed herself into it, but I don't understand her response to that.

There are seven secrets, obviously they don't know which little gem is the one they need, but did she have all the memories planned from the beginning? Or, as I assumed, did she have seven slots to fill, use one or two for the important things, and then fill the others with things she came up with on the spot--for example, the one with Bronte or the matchmaker one. Those just reference past things, but I don't think they're really important now, they're just filling space.

But she also has the benefit of just being able to show us what's important. She could've skipped through a few secrets without fully showing us by just saying like "the next two weren't any more helpful, talking about something to do with ancient dwarf politics and some mountain range" and then getting to the important one or something. We didn't need to see all of them--and I don't see a huge benefit in suspense, which of these seven secrets is relevant, because we immediate start to implement them into the story and solve them. It would've saved time that could've been dedicated to what was actually relevant.

I don't know, that's just not a writing choice I would've made, dedicating so much time and coming up with what feels like a lot of filler. Especially so late in the series.

Oh and another thing that I'm wondering about: why make Oralie the one who can open it when it was specifically given to Sophie? I mean, I suppose there's nothing wrong with her being it's keeper temporarily, and it makes sense for things to be tailored to Oralie, but the way it was set up prior made it feel like it would have more to do with Sophie herself. If Oralie was the one to open it, why not just leave it with her? For the story and suspense we've been carrying for five books, i know, but that's just another choice I wouldn't have made.

All that is more focused on the writing style than the content itself, but that's also a whole other thing! And I've talked about some of my Stellarlune thoughts before, so I figured I wouldn't get into it here. But those were my thoughts when reading the cache scene, there were just a few things that made it...strange? to read through

Of course if you liked it, that's totally fine! Everyone's got different preferences, and I'm glad that something I didn't quite like was able to bring someone else joy :)

[sardonicnihilism]

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 5 The Older Woman

Chapter 5

The rest of 2018 and 2019 passed in fairly unremarkable fashion. The kids kept seeing the counselor, Jerry's behavior and grades improved until he was one of his grades top students. Tabatha, likewise, did extremely well academically. Jerry joined the school soccer team and took up violin, and Tabatha took up piano, guitar, and drums. While life continued with its normal ups and downs, it really did seem like the worst was behind them.

Even when 2020 hit like a meteor, it still didn't affect Shannon and her family that much. Both Sam and Shannon were deemed essential workers, and therefore kept their jobs. The schools shut down, but Shannon did home lessons over the summer and the kids did remote learning in the fall. Jerry struggled, having a hard time staying focused, but Tabatha did exceptionally well.

It was November when things started to go to Hell for them personally. Shannon started noticing a pain in her right chest and shoulder. It would constantly ache, and if she moved too fast, bolts of sharp, white hot pain would shoot through her body. At first she thought it was just muscle strain from lifting too much (she had gotten back into weight training to lose weight), but when she had taken a week off and there was no improvement, she knew she had to see a doctor.

Here appointment was in December, the week after Christmas. The doctor checked her out and then chewed her out. She was 47 years old and had never had a mammogram. Shannon reluctantly agreed to have one and her doctor made the appointment.

Shannon got her mammogram the second week of January at 8:50 AM. By 3:30 PM, she had three messages saying she should contact them immediately. Shannon had breast cancer. More than that, it had already spread to other parts of her body. After a consultation with the entire family, they decided on an aggressive treatment plan. Unfortunately, it was too late.

Shannon's health declined rapidly. Most of her hair fell out and she shrank from 252 pounds to 110. She was week and tired all the time. She mostly laid in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom; usually to vomit. It was decided that she would enter the hospital for her final days.

Sam would visit everyday. At first he brought the kids with him every time, then every other day, and then they would only come once a week on Sundays. By the end of April, it was clear it was only a matter of days.

Sam's last visit was on a Sunday. It was a perfect spring day. It was so warm and sunny that it made Sam angry. It seemed like a cosmic insult to everything he and Shannon were going through. However, he had managed to purge himself of his bitterness by the time he had gotten to Shannon's room.

She was staring out the window, a contemplative smile gracing her gaunt face. Her hands were folded in her lap and she looked almost transcendent.

"How's the most beautiful woman in the world doing today?" he asked with forced happiness as he entered her room.

Shannon turned to him and smiled as happy a smile as she could. "I don't know. I haven't seen her today," she joked back in her weak, hoarse voice.

Sam grabbed a chair and sat beside her. "How're you sweetie?" he asked with a hushed sadness.

"I'm ok. Best as possible I suppose. I was just thinking I beat mom by a month. She passed in April, I made it all the way to May. Of course she beats me on years though." Shannon's sense of gallows humor was not only still there, but had become stronger than ever.

"I tried to get the kids to come out, but they just couldn't," Sam said apologetically.

Shannon just waved her hand. "It's ok, my family never did do death well."

She turned back to the window and started talking as much to herself as to Sam. "I was going to ask you to make a recording of me saying my farewells to the kids, but then I thought if I really wanted this to be the last and forever image of me; a sad, shriveled up husk of a human being - an image of sadness and loss? That just seems too cruel. I'd rather be forgotten if that is the case."

"You'll never be forgotten," Sam tried to reassure her.

She turned back to him, smiling even more. "We're all forgotten eventually darling." She then reached out and took his hand. "It's been a life, hasn't it?"

"It sure has," he said, trying to smile, but tears were already starting to run down his cheek. "And I thank you for being the love of mine."

"As you are with mine," she said in a peaceful voice.

"No, you don't have to say that. You don't have to pretend." He shook his head as he spoke. He didn't want their potentially last moments to be filled with lies.

"Who's pretending?" Shannon said, sounding almost happy, like he had just told her a joke. "What? You think because I'm not romantically or sexualy attracted to you, that means you're not the love of my life? People put so much emphasis on romantic love. Darling, you were far more than a lover. Being a lover is easy. You were a friend." She then brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it.

Sam was now weeping heavily. "The first time I met you in the library, I knew I loved you," he choked out.

"When I was a little girl, I asked my grandfather why he kept the dogs outside. He said because animals don't belong in the house. That night, my biological mother, left me in her car while she went into the bar. I was alone, freezing. I wondered if maybe I was an animal and that's why I was being left alone.

"My entire life I felt alone, unloved, unlovable. I was angry and bitter and I hurt anyone or thing I could so they would feel what I felt. I caused so much pain.

"Then I met Jen and I thought I found love. I loved her and I thought she loved me, but she only loved what she thought I was. When I turned out not to be that, she turned her back on me and I went off the deep end.

"And then there was you. You made me laugh. I could talk to you about anything. I felt safe around you; not physically, but emotionally. I became a better person because of you.

"Even when I came out to you, you didn't turn me away, throw me out, which I would have understood if you did. You never stopped being my rock, my shoulder to cry on, the clown to make me laugh when I was crying. You never stopped being my friend."

"And I never will," Sam barely choked out.

"And that is why you're the love of my life."

Sam got up and they embraced. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and she gave him one the cheek. They spent the next five hours just reminiscening and joking.

"I better get going, I suppose," Sam said reluctantly. "I can't leave the kids alone all day, but I don't want to leave you alone either. Not to die at least."

"We all die alone honey, even if we're surrounded by people," she said with a smile. "Go. You're a father and your kids need you. I'm already dead. The only thing the dead need is rest. Just, just tell the kids I love them."

"Always," he said tearfully.

A couple hours after he left, she began to feel really tired, her fingers and toes started going numb. She knew the time had come.

She started thinking about tombstones. A name, a dash, and another date. Everything she was, everything she had been, reduced to a small line, carved in a stone that would survive long after she had been forgotten. It seemed unfair, cruel even.

She then thought about something else, something she had learned back in college. She thought about quantum entanglement, how two atoms can become entangled, linked forever across time and space, eternal mirrors to each other.

Her mind then darted to the concept of the multiverse. How there might be infinite universes out, each with their own version of her. What if two versions could be linked somehow? Entangled? What if her mirror was out there? Could she reach her? Could her mind link across dimensions to one of her other selves to share her story?

*Please, please, if can hear me, please tell my story. Please don't let me be forgotten!*, she thought over and over to herself, trying to reach out to anyone who might hear until her brain ceased to function and she passed away.

**************************************

Shannon Brown was born on November 22, 1975 to a single, alcoholic mother. He was taken in by his grandparents and his aunt Mary who raised him as her own. It is Mary who he considers to be his real mother. His biological mother, Kathy, would have two other children, a girl named Tracy (1977) and Paul Jr. (1979).

By about 4 or 5, Shannon knew that he wasn't a he, but a she, but having no language to express this, she kept this to herself. Shannon grew up alone, morbidly obese for most of her life, she never really had any friends and was constantly bullied and picked on. This made her angry and she would often act out in horrible and usually, self destructive ways.

She did manage to lose weight and was thin from 19 to 24. It was at this time she met her future wife, Samantha Hopwood online. Samantha, an Australian citizen, eventually moved to the United States and they got married in 2001. In 2009, their first child, Joshua was born.

It was after that, Shannon came out to Samantha as transgender. It caused a lot of pain and anger in their marriage, but they were able to work through some of it so that they had their second child, Tara, in 2011. In 2020, after years of being partially closeted, Shannon came out to everyone on Facebook (much to the horror of her wife).

It was about this time that Shannon discovered an app called FaceApp. It could change your photo to look like a child, old person, even the opposite physical gender. Shannon took a picture of herself, femininized it, and then took that new picture and reaged it from a little girl to an old woman. As Shannon stared at the pictures, she couldn't help but marvel over how real they looked! These looked like real pictures of an actual person.

"Who are you?" she said to herself. "Who are you, what is your story?" The more she stared at the pictures, the more she could almost hear this stranger call out, "Please, please, tell my story." It was then Shannon knew what she had to do. She opened her Tumblr app, hit the write symbol, and began-

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 1: The Girl

Chapter 1

*This story is dedicated to the memory of H.P. Lovecraft; a horrible man, but great world builder. This wouldn't exist without him.*

[halsteadsass]

TAR's been really good this season. A lot of the teams are really likeable, and even though they had the pandemic to deal with, they seemed to bounce back from it really well. You wouldn't really have any idea watching the episodes that they were post-shutdown, and a lot of the tasks they've had them doing have been really cool. Definitely recommend catching up on this season!

I held off on answering this one because I didn't really have any strong thoughts on anyone after the premiere, but I feel like I know a lot more now after the first eviction. There really isn't anyone I'm actively rooting against other than Todrick and Miesha.

I'm loving Lamar and Chris Kattan — I'm always so entertained by the celebrities that have no idea where they are or what they're doing as long as they give us something, and Chris's weird rivalry with Todd over the snoring kills me. I'm really glad Mirai and Carson managed to get off the block and I hope they both stick around for a while. I've also been liking Cynthia, NSYNC Chris and Shanna. I don't know how much you keep up with feeds happenings, but after the BB23 cast stayed at Todrick's house for a month after the game, I had a feeling that he was going to come in and overplay. I feel like he's going to be another Shannon Elizabeth. And the whole way Miesha went about making the alliance of "athletes", but included Todrick and Chris Kirkpatrick over a literal Olympian was just...??? Idk, I just don't get the best vibes from her.

I wasn't expecting a whole lot from this cast, but I feel like they're really over-delivering and I'm enjoying watching how messy they've been so far.

I'm definitely going to try and catch up on TAR. I'm glad to hear that they were still able to keep the spirit up of the show even though the pandemic is going on. It's that escape that we all need.

The complete rollercoaster this first week was. I can't even think of a first week that has been this messy in years. It's usually the second week where things get turned upside down in a blink of an eye.

Miesha and Todrick are definitely on my hit list lol.

It was very clear from the beginning that Miesha had no idea what she was doing. How can you be shocked that your nomination plans got blown up in your face when you told half the house? You actively try to bring in Mirai into your alliance only to turn around and tell her she's going to be a pawn. No brains, head empty. It's week one. There isn't a reason to play that hard. She should have focused on building foundations to relationships that are going to help her later down in the road. And Todrick? He's there just to be a shit starter. He had nothing to gain from telling Miesha about Mirai warning Teddi. Miesha already trusted him and suspected nothing. He did it just to be messy. An athletics alliance with barely no athletes is what truly gets me lmfao.

Mirai and Carson both being on the block together really stressed me out. I know I said Carson might turn out to be annoying, but he's actually grown on me in the two subsequent episodes. We need his personality and I hope he's smart enough to realize Todrick is the problem - not Mirai. Thank god he won the veto and thank god for that bag twist. Bless Chris Kattan for making Todd the last person and Todd being smart enough to take Mirai off the block. Chris Kattan and his talk with Mirai gave me a new appreciation for him. I think he'd be a good person to have in your corner. I was also dying when he said he wanted todd out because of his snoring. The impressions he gave were award winning lol. RIP Teddi but she would have been taken out early on either way. She'd always be a target.

NSYNC Chris has disappointed me in aligning with Meisha. I'm over the jokes about how physically tough she is so she they can't get on her bad side. Sir, she is not going to beat you up inside the big brother house. As for everyone else, I feel the same. They are pretty much just there, existing, and vibing. I am not watching live feeds because of school. I'm sorry I sound like a broken record on that front. They don't lie when they say you don't exist outside of nursing school. Watching tv is like a prize if I study long enough lmfao.

all in all, I'm hoping for a Mirai HOH tonight.

On another front, the little season premiere promo for Survivor is out. It's quite unhealthy how just the theme song can make me so happy. I can't wait. Also, are you going to be tuning into that other celebrity type survivor-esque show?