#don't let anyone tell you that being emotionally invested in your relationships is unhealthy

[didiwaffles]

The more I look at those so-called supposed "healthy" relationships, or at least how they supposed to look, the more I have the feeling that they imply not caring about your partner at all.

What the fuck do you mean "true love" implies that you feel good spending time with them but you also feel good when they're not around. I understand that not being able to function without your partner is toxic, but if there's absolutely no difference whether you're with them or not, how is it love??

Healthy relationships are about overcoming challenges together, not about avoiding them. That's the farthest from "healthy" OR "relationships" I can think of.

[kalki-tarot]

YOU KNOW THEY DON'T LIKE YOU, SO WHY DO YOU KEEP THE HOPE ALIVE ? 🍷

Pick a picture that attracts you the most ♡

TAP ON MASTERLIST FOR MORE 🍓

This is an intuitive tarot reading and it is just for entertainment purposes. I am not responsible for any actions or decisions taken by anyone on behalf of this reading as tarot is not 100% true all the times.

Read this with an open mind and let go of whatever doesn't serve you.

PILE 1.

Confirmations or signs : blue or white birds, peace symbols, refrigerators, black umbrella, red color, K, S, G, Sun, F, Cathedral, Catherine, Karina, Karen, Kaliber, back n white, kanye west

The reality of this person you're holding onto is very obvious to you. They are someone money minded and look out for material things in life mostly, they are too invested in their career and building a weath right now. They are someone who has no clarity or clear vision in life. They sort of run after material things, and they sre working hard for these material things. To be honest, they don't have any time for you and you will be victimized in this connection if you stay any longer. They are someone childish and not meant for you.

Let's get to the point that why are you still holding onto them? You feel this little spark with them. You feel hopeful about this connection even though it's not headed anywhere and you are accepting the breadcrumbs babe. You literally don't realize your worth I'm sorry if I'm too straightforward but it is what it is. You don't like to see yourself winning is that it? No? Then stop believing into false hopes and delusions bestie. This is the only way i have to tell you this. Like stop! You are disrespecting yourself by acting like that. You are the only one working hard in this connection and they r not even reciprocating shit. Well, i see that you have a cycle of meeting people who don't reciprocate what you give in to build up a relationship but eventually you have to walk away because they don't live up to your expectations or they don't invest as much as you're investing in. The universe is trying to teach you that you should know when to stop and walk away if people don't care about your efforts bestie. You will repeat this cycle unless you realize your worth and take your power back!

PILE. 2

Confirmations or signs : lamp posts, yellow/golden flames, Army, Police, J, S, M, N, F, G, sun, moon, stars, shimmer & shine, ticking clocks, weirdo, joker

The person you are asking about is very ambitious and hardworking. They have a set vision for how their life should be or how much they should achieve before this particular age they hit. They want to create something of their own and to be honest you are nowhere in this picture. They don't really care about love and relationships that much. Also, this person may try to mould you they way they want you to be, they won't be as accepting of you. You know those people who have a fixed type of person to marry and they would try to make you become what they would like to see and not the actual you. This person is very superficial and it's hard to change them. They are very stubborn.

The truth about this person is that u won't be emotionally fulfilled by them and you'll end up walking away. Ask yourself "Are u just clinging onto them only because of the fear of being left out?" This person will be very hot and cold towards you. And you have this tendency to attract these kind of people into you life. Do you crave validation? Don't work hard for them, don't waste your energy manifesting them. They are not meant for you :( They would cause you more harm than good. You'll hurt yourself. First fix your unhealthy tendencies and fill yourself with self love. Then try to manifest a loving and stable partner.

[cinaminho]

_

{A/N} I want you all to know that this is not fact, only fake, opinions not based on any concrete information! Readers! If you're not emotionally competent enough to understand that this is made up! And is Just for imagination, if you will take this seriously and have unhealthy thoughts regarding Rocky or any idol I write about then do not read my content. I will not take responsibility for your thoughts and actions because if you're old enough to read it and be on this blog then I figure you're old enough to hold yourself accountable for your thoughts taking them seriously when I cleary stated that this is make believe.

Now with that being said -- Leggo♡

Boyfriend! Rocky/Park Minhyuk {Astro}

Request: Hi, can i request some fluff with astro rocky? maybe something with boyfriend!rocky

I think boyfriend! Rocky is a very balanced Rocky, I feel even if he has little no experience in that area that he'd still be very great at being a lover in a romantic way. He just seems very mature about a lot.

🌹 - Basic Stuff - 🌹

Definitely see him as a chill type, not a possessive type I think he is the kind of guy to deeply invest himself after a decent amount of time of being together, once you have him though, that's it. He's all in, all about making it work.

I don't see him with someone who's with that 'silent treatment' stuff , immature unnecessarily long time periods of not talking when you guys have a disagreement (he doesn't like the word fight or argument, I just feel he wouldn't , weird I know)

but if you are like that I think he'd only put up with it for maybe a day or two before telling you to stop being childish, he wouldn't tolerate this behavior from anyone else besides his members probably , but because he understands a relationship might go through these things he'll let you act out for a bit but after that time you have to talk.

I think he's definitely a 'solve the problem as soon as possible' type of guy, c'mon man, all that extra sh*t is unnecessary like, get it over with so he can get back to loving you!!

Speaking of loving you, I don't think it'd be private ..but not necessarily too out in the open. People would know he's taken also that you are as well , but not necessarily by each other, the only people to know THAT are you, your family, his as well plus members and the company, y'know?

Of course this would all be told after you're both sure it's going somewhere.

Though it's hidden from many the most important people know exactly who he's with as well as in your life the people you hold dearly know you're with him as well.

I think he's very big on privacy so he is careful about public outings together but really only covers up with a cap/hat keeping his head down with his arm wrapped around your shoulder, only looking up when many people aren't around which is actually more often than you may think.

This covers the Altercation part of this and a little bit of the overall ordeal.

♡ - Affection - ♡

Y'know how I said Rocky has his arm around you in public outings, I think it's a most common overall interaction of affection towards you to him.

It's saying 'we're together' not too much, not too little that one action says everything he wants people to know. He's definitely one to switch it up occasionally though no matter where you are even if you're alone, that arm may still around you but he may add an occasional kiss to your cheek gently cupping your chin and bringing the side of your face to his lips then asking if you're okay, what's on your mind?, do you need anything?

I think he also likes kissing your knuckles jeez when did I become a cliche mushy bitch?, fingertip kisses, temple, middle of your forehead, just not straight lips all the time because HE'S DIFFERENT

I'm not saying the lips are a rare spot that he kisses but I just feel he usually gives you a goodbye kiss, I missed you kiss, if they don't happen often they're long whenever they do

I think he'd like to caress the back of your hand and hear about your day with a cute small genuine smile on his lips just admiring whatever part of your face that he can see

Loves when YOU give him a back hug

Loves when YOU are the big spoon while cuddling that's one thing where he doesn't fight you to take care of him on

Will not mind cooking for you or together

Just wants you to know that you don't have to everything

Just likes when you watch him dance he doesn't necessarily make you join in if you don't like it, he'd respect it as long as you respected his intrest in it. Hype up his dance ego his #1 hype person

Is that affection ?? Idek man

It's just little cute things

Rub your fingers through his hair it's a bonus for you both

He doesn't mind you initiating The affection pretty much anything he does to you, you do back to him which he loves.

I think, by the way, in the beginning of all this affectionate loving he may be a little timid but it'd quickly grow into him being comfortable With Affection, because In his mind 'this is normal In a relationship' , 'this should happen right? Yeah' so all good. NEXT CAASEEE!!

🍭- Overall - 🍭

A relationship with Rocky would seem to good to be true because In this generation , what's 'love' without many disagreements and yelling? It isn't real if you don't bicker a lot? Yeah right, you and Rocky shut that down

You guys have what I call a 90's love, y'know, where buying another gender food that isn't your S/O wasn't considered cheating. My generation is so fuckin dumb I was so close to being a 90's kid bruh

Your boundaries make sense

You don't really question his loyalty to you and vise versa

Support his dreams, understand the situation you're in with him and there is no doubt that he'll do the same for you

Every second he has to rest will mostly be donated to you because as I said, once he's all in that's it. Whatever it takes to prove he wants you two go as far as you can together.

OH!!! and another thing! Don't be afraid to confide in him. He listens firsts and talks second, when he knows you'll need it or he'll save it for later, he wants to be one of if not THE first person you confide in.

He'll protect your feelings as much as possible but all while being respectfully honest , he'd want the same from you.

Don't be surprised if you open up quicker than expected to him because he provides that feeling of safety that you can do that. That's what he wanted, he succeeded, except it, embrace it.

- Sorry if this was terrible and messy I'm not really good with bulletin scenarios! Thank you for the request I love Astro so I really enjoyed this 💖💖

[sxmriddhi]

Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking, and if you do I get it, but your post earlier today made me curious. What happened with your old best friend? You seem to have mentioned them a few times on here and I wondered why you weren't talking and why you can't talk now.

Wow erm, that’s quite a story. It’s got lots of different parts to it so be prepared for a long post:

Me and my best friend (let’s call them Alexa) met in year 7. We were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to start a new school and met on the bus trips there. She was the introvert to my extrovert. We bonded over our various obsessions over the years (One Direction, Taylor Swift, A Rocket to the Moon, Les Mis, Wicked, Busted, books and TV shows - pretty much what you’d expect 11-16 year old’s to bond over) and we spent more and more time together over the years. It got to the point where Alexa was staying at my home every other weekend. We had inside jokes and shared so many secrets (this becomes important later). Alexa’s mom even went as far as to joke about paying rent for the amount of time her daughter spent at my house.

I also introduces Alexa to my other best friend (let’s call her Jo). Jo was in my class and we bonded around year 9. We quickly became close too because our school was unhealthy and relationships were either 100% or 0%. It meant that most people spent all their time with the same few friends. At that age you don’t realize how helpful a little space is because you don’t want to miss out on anything. It’s something I still have to remind myself of because of how unhealthy my relationships were in high school.

So through years 10-11, the three of us slowly became a team. By year 11, we were the three musketeers. We did everything together. We were the typical movie girl squad who geeked out and had sleepovers and went on adventures. All my pictures had those two in. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was the one who did all the planning. I invited them over. I made plans with them. I sorted out tickets and travel and meals out. My dad gave us rides and cooked us food. I spent money on birthdays and christmases because I thought that was what friends do.

What movies don’t tell you is that friendships aren’t supposed to be one-sided like that. They don’t show the planning or the person more invested in a friendship. They don’t show how unhealthy a friendship can become and how manipulated a young girl can feel with trying to impress her friends who, by all means, hadn’t necessarily done anything wrong…yet.

Sixth form arrived. And things fell to shit.

After a summer of anti-prom, summer trips, talking about our futures, looking forward to the next two years, I came back to school and continued with my life. We were in a larger group of friends that had sort of amalgamated Alexa’s class friends and my class friends. Alexa got to know my wider group. But she also began to withdraw from it all slightly. I could tell something was wrong and eventually she felt comfortable enough to confide in me: she had a crush on a girl in our group. Now, this isn’t a big deal to anyone I know. The issue is that this is an all girls school. The girl that Alexa liked had a girlfriend. Alexa’s family was slightly religious. Alexa wasn’t sure if the feelings were romantic or just a close friendship. She didn’t feel any sexual feelings and was still emotionally attracted to men as well so it was all confusing for her.

Now, let’s introduce character number three: Let’s call her Vicky. Vicky was horrible. She’d always been horrible to me. In year 12 I had gotten the lead role in our school musical and she’d thrown a fit. She claimed it was an attempt for the school to look racially inclusive rather than just due to me deserving the part. She turned people against me. She spread rumours about me and tore me down. She was everything that a school bully entails. But she was also subtle about it. She was sly and slow and her comments were barely noticable. Her tone was slightly different or her word choices were slightly off. She’d fail to say hello to me when sitting with my entire group of friends. She’d conveniently place more faith in others when we were told to work in a group. She’d forget to invite me to things. 

She wanted to know Alexa’s secret. So I covered for Alexa. I told everyone that I was the one struggling with feelings for someone and that Alexa was helping me. Then, once Alexa became comfortable enough to tell our friends about her feelings but wouldn’t say who it was, I told people it was me so that the heat would disperse and they would stop prying. I did this all with Alexa’s permission. I made sure she wanted this to happen so that she didn’t have to face the others. Then she told the girl she liked (via a letter - this is also important) and they finally got together. But Alexa was still unhappy. She realized it wasn’t just her sexuality that was changing but her gender identity. She trusted me with this secret and I kept it. I supported her through all the choices and changes she made. I called her Alex and, in private, used the pronouns he/him (which I will adopt from hereafter). Alex finally told our friends when he felt ready but quickly began to withdraw from me and I couldn’t understand why. All I’d done was support and love him? I just wanted him to be happy.

Alex, Jo and I had a plan to watch the Teen Wolf finale in March that year at my house before meeting the rest of our friends the next day to go ice skating. Suddenly Jo had to pull out for an “emergency opticians appointment”. Bit sketchy but okay. She said she’d meet me on Saturday for ice skating instead. Then a few days later Alex said he was busy with family matters so would meet me on Saturday along with the others too. I accepted it. I felt slightly hurt but understood their reasoning. On Friday afternoon, I double checked the times we were all meeting before we left school and on Saturday I had my dad drive me to where we were going to meet to find…. nobody.

Nobody was there. I called everyone. Someone eventually picked up and explained that the time had changed and hadn’t anyone told me? They’d already been and gone. But why had nobody questioned my absence if so? Wouldn’t you worry that your friend hadn’t shown up to a preplanned meeting?

I felt humiliated. I’d been abandoned by my friends and my dad had to watch it all happen. I was crying and inconsolable. That Monday I went to ask what had happened and was told that it had been Alex’s idea to disinvite me. I didn’t understand. What had I done that was so wrong? I was so hurt and felt so betrayed. We’d been friends for six years and this was how it would end? Didn’t I even deserve a letter detailing what Alex felt about me? Did I mean less to him than his crush had?

We didn’t speak for the rest of that school year. I didn’t speak to any of them. None of them had stood up for me and nobody came to console me after I left the group. None of them cared enough to check up on me. They’d all just accepted my absence.

Year 13 began after an incredibly lonely summer. I sat alone for lots of my free time before slowly attempting to repair what was broken. Another mistake on my part. I hadn’t done anything wrong. Why should I be attempting to make amends? But I did. It started with small smiles and little hellos. I tried to support Alex when he got into a huge fight with Jo. He wrote her a letter detailing his feelings then too. Once again, why did everyone except me deserve an explanation? We didn’t discuss the incident in March. I picked his name in secret santa that year and used the opportunity to detail a personal, heartfelt card along with my gift to him, expressing how much I’d loved knowing him this last 7 years. In January we even went on a trip to London together. Things were slowly normalizing.

Then his stepfather died. Then his grandfather. Then he started hanging out with Vicky. Then he told her my secrets and stopped speaking to me again. He made cryptic posts about me on his blog. He cancelled plans. He laughed in my direction. He started spreading rumours. He broke my heart all over again.

He and Vicky became inseparable. Nobody understood it but it happened. And the group divided along with them. He called me a bad friend and a terrible person on his blog. He wrote about how he didn’t want to be friends with me and didn’t like me at all. He spoke of his new friend and how she was so much better. How he’d wasted time with me. I checked his blog every day. I read through the posts obsessively and tried to analyse his feelings. I tried to understand if he was having a good day or a bad day. I wanted to be able to help him if he was hurting, even after everything he was doing to me.

More fights happened and more tears were shed. I can’t even remember half the things that were said and done because I was so disorientated by the whole situation. I wasn’t eating right. I wasn’t sleeping well. I had exams that I couldn’t focus on. I felt like I was disintegrating. I’d spent seven years loving this person - nearly half of my life - only for them to toss me aside like I was nothing. We had grown up together. We’d painted my room together. We’d lived our lives together. But not anymore. Now he had Vicky.

What do you do when your best friend starts spending time with the one person who made your high school life a living hell? You panic.

I spent almost every Friday afternoon crying alone because of him. I had panic attacks and nightmares. I had no self-esteem and little hope at ever making any friends again. I had to see the school councillor.

Being in a bad situation doesn’t give you an excuse to be a dick.

But I still tried. I made a gift for his mother as she’d lost her father and partner within months. I wrote her a letter explaining that I was sorry I couldn’t be around to help more due to the situation with her daughter (she didn’t know about his gender identity changes yet so I had to write daughter) but that if she required any help that my family was always available for them. I spent nearly £100 on gifts that I knew they’d like and things that we’d shared over the years. I left the gift with a neighbour to give to them and then left. 

Days passed…then weeks, months even. I heard nothing back. Did they get the gift? Had the neighbour stolen it? What had happened? I plucked up the courage to text Alex and received the nail in the coffin of our relationship. He said he wanted me to stop pretending to be his friend. He called me selfish and heartless and a bitch. He said I shouldn’t have gotten his mother involved (in what? I can’t tell you because I don’t know myself) and that i should just never speak to him again. He said he’d thrown the box out and wanted nothing from me. I cried again. I felt alone again. What had I done? I thought I was doing a good deed.

That was the last time I heard from him until I started university. That summer had been about reinventing myself. I’d gone to the gym. Hell, I’d gone to New York! I’d been in a car accident. I’d changed my own life. I moved to uni and used a different name, leaving my old nickname in high school. I created a Facebook account to make new friends here. I deleted old phone numbers and cut my hair. I made a resolution to stop checking his blog obsessively. I tried to become someone new. 

I was in my new room in the dormitories and posted a video on snapchat of my friend using the tambourine he’d previously gifted to me before I threw it out. I didn’t have Alex on any social media so I wasn’t being spiteful. It was just a fun night in my room, ridding myself of any old, bad memories. A few days later I got a message from him demanding it back. I had trashed it and I didn’t want to speak to him so I didn’t respond. Then I received another message, then an email, then more messages over the next few months all threatening to “take things further” unless I returned his property. I blocked all the numbers, deleted the emails. Then he tried to add me as a facebook friend. I didn’t want that. I was finally moving on. Then he had his new boyfriend and other flatmates try to contact me. I blocked them too.

Even up until just a month ago, I get random attempts to contact me. I can’t go back there. The situation was unhealthy. I can’t return to that person that I was. He changed me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust someone that freely again. I live in fear that he’ll be the closest thing to a relationship I’ll ever experience. That he’ll be the only person I ever loved enough to let all the way in. I’m scared that he was my person and I’ll never have someone like that again.

We all talk about how when you break up with your partner, it kills a part of you. Nobody ever talks about when you break up with your person. He was my person. And losing him killed me.