#done pavlov’d myself

[porcupixel617]

starting to think I never liked him, it was just the seasonal affective disorder

[scales-of-stardust]

I think the funniest thing I’ve ever done to myself is that I’ve pavlov’d myself into only being able to draw good when I listen to five nights at freddys fan music

[beaniebabs]

can i hire someone to live with me and/or monitor me 24/7 for the sole purpose of stopping me from eating dairy. i can’t help it. i can’t stop myself. so i need someone to do it for me. if they see me reaching for some cheese they just tase me until i get pavlov’d into being scared of dairy. their work here is done. but they remain with me because we have fallen in love. is that too much to ask ?!?!?!?!

[ghost-town-story]

I Pavlov’d My Roommate

Alright y’all this one’s hilarious imo.

So my roommate (whom I think I’ve referred to as Y in previous posts and shall continue doing so here) has this one little quirk She squeaks A lot Hiccuping and sneezing all sound like little squeaks. Plus there’s the whole thing of her and I doing raptor screeches at each other occasionally across the apartment. 

So when I poke her in the stomach, she makes a little raptor screech sound. So I get the terrible idea of, hey let’s exploit this

So what I did would be to say “Activate Raptor Screech!” then poke her in the stomach so she would squeak. And it worked. And I continued this for a long ass while.  Part of it though, is that I’d usually do it after she’d hiccup or something. So she’d hiccup/squeak, I’d activate the Raptor Screech, and poke her. 

So over quarter break, I was driving us around, and she hiccups. So I’m like, I’m driving, I really can’t justify poking her, but Raptor Screech, but then I realize, oh my god I might have successfully done a Pavlov. So I figure I have to check. “Activate Raptor Screech” And she squeaked. So I’m laughing because oh my god I fucking conditioned my roommate to squeak on command, and she’s confused cause somehow she’s never heard of Pavlov when I try to explain it.

So of course, this whole spring quarter, I’ve been doing it, much to the amusement of our other friends and the confusion of one of our profs lol

The thing is I might have accidentally conditioned myself back, since every time she hiccups now I want to say “Activate Raptor Screech”. However, I can control it. As long as I catch her off guard, she cannot.

I’m unstoppable ehehehe

[boymeetsweevil]

THANK YOU

I’m just crying no big deal thank you for being so kind i’m gonna go curl up a d*e now :’)

HONEYYYYY 💕💕💕💕 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU!!! For Science was beautiful and I loved every bit of it. Bot matter the wait, its completely worth it because you put so much thought into it. The ending was so nice and im so happy for oc and kookie. Please keep up with your amazing writing love ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

i just read fs7 for a second time (bc yes i had to read it twice to fully take it in) and oh my god it’s so amazing 😭😭 you really outdid yourself w this series. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve read through it all and i love it even more every time i do. you’re such a talented writer honestly thank you so much for gifting us this fic ❤️

The ending to FS was so authentic!! Awkward and mushy and funny and hot! You really did their relationship justice. Thank you for putting in so much work I'm so happy the series ended this way. You're amazing!

FS7 was a fuckin ride and it was everything I could’ve wanted and more 😫💘 it was amazing like I honestly can’t put into words how satisfying it was but I was smiling sm while reading 🤧 you’re so talented thank you for writing this masterpiece!! FS FINALEEEE IM CRYINGGGGG UWUUUUUUUUU

haaaaaaiiiii just wanna say those 27k words of amazingness was SO worth the wait! thank you so much for the FS series, you did great and can't wait to read more stories from you <33

The last part of for science ahhhhh I screamed! I loved and missed the whole friend group and you put so many funny one liners your dialogue is so natural and entertaining

FS! Oh man where do I start... it was so so so sososososooooo good!!! THE WHOLE SERIES IS JUST SOOOO GOOD. THEY WAY U WRITE IS SO FREAKING WONDERFUL. The scenarios aren’t cheesy or too overtop, the feelings and everything are just sooo realllll. YOUR CHARACTERS ARE JUST SO WELL CONSTRUCTED ARGHHH. Freaking Jungkook and his Captain America crush, same JK I love Chris Pratt and his ass too. So sad that FS has come to and end but it was the perfect finale. I LOVE YOU ❤️ The way i cried, laughed, and just the overjoy from FS 7 i swear to god i hate ending something so wonderful i get a lil disappointed going back to my regular life and not living thru this amazing art thank you for this series i loved it!! I just reread your entire FS series again and the ending was so sweet 😭😭 thank you so much for sharing ur writing!! I also really liked how everyone’s friendship developed in FS7

I just finished FS and I loved it! Awesome job ✌🏼 I love your writing style. It’s not try hard but it’s also not boring lol idk how to explain it but it’s captivating. I’m excited for your future works if you plan on continuing to write 💜 Also, good luck on finals! wahhhhhhhhhh that ending was PERFECTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! i am so so happy but also so so sad to say goodbye to these characters. i'm gonna miss fs!jungkook so much!!!!!! :(( thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us!!

OH NO WHEN DID YOU POST THAT FINALE :((((( I LITERALLY LOVE IT!!!! THE WHOLE GROUP IS BACK AND JUNGKOOK STOPPED BEING A COWARD CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?????? I AM SO HAPPY 🥺 When I started reading this, it only had 3 released parts, and now it’s done :(((( i’ll miss you clowning FS jk!!

i've waited a full day to really formulate my thots on the finale of fs... and damn bitch u KILLED me I LOVED ALL OF IT THANK U FOR WRITING ALL THAT BC REALLY? WHAT A FUCKING TRIP THIS HAS BEEN love u forever and ever and ever and am so blessed that u share ur work with lil ol me!! love u to the moon and back <3 u deserve all the good things life has to offer you ! -- crack cocaine anon

I wish I could give you better feedback dissecting every. little. bit. of For Science and how I thoroughly enjoyed the entire series but it's coming out as word vomit lol. I absolutely cackled at the sex Pavlov'd and watermelon slapping. Yoori was fantastic as always ("one day I'm going to get a fresh manicure just so my hands look good when I finally smack the shit out of him." Beautiful) and I just love the group dynamics as a whole. They remind me of my friends :( And the main couple,their whole sometimes-awkward-and-painful process of working things out and then slowly, naturally falling (back?) into love hit me in all the best ways. Overall 10/10, will definitely read this again and anything else you write <3

wow you really snapped with that ending for FS huh i’m- wow seriously one of the best writers ever I feel happy and sad now that FS has ended. Happy because I feel like it was the perfect ending to an amazing series and sad because we have to say goodbye to all these amazing /funny/cray cray characters. You are an amazing writer and I hope we get the chance to read more of your stuff in the future!

I am actually devastated high crying that FS is over. I invested so much EMOTION. Bless your soul. FS finale is amazing. you wrote beautifully and progressed the plot at an anticipating rate. i loved it!!! wondering, did you go off of any certain real life jk looks for his platinum hair, piercings and no glasses? and the ripped jeans...... if u did please post them i wanna see!!!! (ANON, unfortunately I couldn’t find a pic with all of those in one, but there’s this edit and this outfit)

Just needed to let u kno that FS is a masterpiece and i loved it so so so much~ its def my fave fic i've ever read and i love your characterization! Im sad its over but ahhhhh it was so good and i wanna say thanks for writing it - 💖🐰

For science was amazing, I want to congratulate you for writing such a beautiful story for us!!!! Really!!! thank you!!!! for the time and effort bc your fic is genuinely one of the best I've ever read!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ jesus, i cannot express to you how much I love FS, it was everything i want in a story like it took ages to read but yet it felt like minutes and when i was done i was heartbroken that i’ll never see the characters again, i can really relate a lot of the characters to some of my own friends and i love that despite finding it strange, when i was reading it i found myself laughing out loud at the jokes and cringing at overly handsy jk, your writing is top tier and i’m going to miss FS so much

my heart is swelling while reading the last chapter of fs. It’s been a wild ride and I’m so happy to b part of it!!!!!! Thank u for writing such an amazing story

[tmae3114]

mismagireve replied to your post “Have I ever mentioned that one time I accidentally Pavlov’d myself...”

....what?

OKAY SO

I have this thing where I can’t sleep if it’s quiet. I need some form of consistent background noise or I just can’t sleep. It can be anything - the hum of a fan, the distant sound of cars on a highway outside the window, the ticking of a clock - but there was a point when I was twelve where I tried using music

Specifically, I tried using a playlist of worship songs that I had on my phone

And, I mean, it worked. They were very nice songs to fall asleep to.

I had to stop eventually though because my brother’s room was right next to mine and even though the music helped me sleep, it kept him away, so. I had to switch to something else.

But the damage was done

Because for years, every time I heard worship music but especially any of the songs on that playlist, I would find myself getting very, very sleepy

[thrivingandsurviving]

Being Broken and Saying Fuck That ---09/16/2021

“Do not hold your breath for anyone,

Do not wish your lungs to be still,

It may delay the cracks from spreading,

But eventually they will,

Sometimes to keep to yourself together,

You must allow yourself to leave,

Even if breaking your heart,

Is what it takes to let you breathe.” ---Erin Hanson

My ex sent me a video pretty much letting me know I was the one who was making him drown in the relationship. Yet I was the one who freed the both of us. Starting over is never easy.

But having to walk on eggshells around you, broke me. Being told I have to be more like someone else, broke me. Being told I am the one who needs to change, broke me. Made to feel guilty for having to eat, broke me. Being told I’m not enough, broke me. Being told I’m ‘too broken,’ really broke me. Being told I am having to prove to you I am worthy to be a wife, a mother, broke me. Made me feel guilty for having clinical depression and anxiety disorder, broke me further. You may listen but you do not hear.

The first time I went grocery shopping , I was scared to get anything because I remember the comments you would make, the fights you started. Telling me I don’t care about money, I don’t respect money, but I was just going off of doctor’s orders. I had to tell myself to be thankful, be thankful you got food in your belly, who cares if you’re in physical pain, or when your stomach swells you can barely eat or drink anything.

You say I didn’t help you, or give you support, but how could I when I became scared of you, too terrified of making the smallest mistake, always feeling like a failure and having it pointed out. You were trying to break me and rebuild me into someone you actually wanted that I simply wasn’t. You punished me because I couldn’t help you, making me feel so alone. Zero support system.

Since being here, my family and friends became the net I needed, that I knew I needed. The love, the support, the community, I never had that. I've broken down so many times because I never got this sort of kindness before. I would start explaining little things I went through that I kept to myself. They agreed I did the right thing, I was even told to stop, look around. HE isn’t here anymore.

I kept thinking when I finally decided I was done fighting, but I kept hearing you yell and continue to fight, I just cried and stayed quiet. He would yell on how it was “YOU who needs to get better, it's YOU who needs to stop crying every time we have sex, yet it's also YOUR fault he can't get you off, I should just let him do what he wants. It’s YOUR fault, he was scared to touch me.” I ended up with constant mental breakdowns saying it's me who is broken, it's me who needs to improve, it’s me who was too sensitive. I cried during sex because I never healed from my miscarriage, even when it was for a quick time of when I was pregnant. I held it in my hand. YOU cause me physical pain when you touch me, so dry, so forceful. I critiqued apparently too much. “I’ve never had this issue before, maybe if you just let me do what I want.” But I know my own body… Why not do what I tell you to do…?

Since leaving him, I would get so mad, so angry, what the hell was wrong with me?! Why in the hell was it always me who needed to change? Why couldn't you? I wouldn't ask you to change, I didn't want you to resent me for something I wanted so bad. Since I left, my heart no longer tightens up in pain. My eyes no longer sting. My clothes are no longer stained with my snot and tears. No longer being Pavlov’d, punished for being me, for being alive. I know you’ll continue telling everyone who is willing to listen on how it’s all my fault.

Despite everything that was said between the two of us, the thing that pissed me off the most was when you said your first kid was a mistake. Why would you say he was a mistake, accident yes, but to still say he was a mistake, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!! Your kid is beautiful, and intelligent, I love them, fuck you for saying your kid is a mistake. Your kid reached out to me after I had already left. So sweet and caring, saw me as their Step Mom. Told me that you don’t do too well with women. They don’t last very long. I found this interesting seeing how I remember about a month or two ago you told me your previous ex said you had issues listening for the first time… Your 16 year-old feels safe and comfortable coming to me with their issues and they have 3 other parents. They don’t really like coming over to your house because they just spend their time in their bedroom. They want to connect with you, I even said why not get a gaming computer/laptop so you can connect better versus having them come and do everything YOU want to do. I’m making my peace with you, and your kid knows if they need to talk to someone they can reach out to me. I have to constantly remind myself, you’re no longer here. You cannot dictate that way I live, eat, look, see the world, ANYMORE.

“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It is necessary.” ---Mandy Hale

[vampire--dad]

boy do i have a story for you

im pretty sure i classical conditioned myself. by accident

one of my favourite snacks to eat while im writing is blueberries and salted macadamias. i find that having something to do with my hamds helps me think and it tastes good and its healthy. so i kinda just sit there, totally in the zone, munching on blueberries and macadamias.

anyway, today i managed to make myself cry while writing. i dont cry easily and ive never cried writing angst before but here i was with tears in my eyes. i was so into what i was writing and so connected with it that i cried.

i started thinking “whats gotten into me? ive never cried while writing something. i dont think ive cried in about 4 months.”

and then i realised. why was i so in the zone? why was i so emotionally connected with what was going on? fucking blueberries is why.

ive Pavlov’d myself. ive related blueberries and macadamias with writing so that my best work is done when i have those. im such a dumbass that ive managed to accidentally classical condition myself