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fallinforaguyfelldownfromthesky · 4 years ago

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Possible ficlet prompt (?): Write a lil smth abt how you think Slug and Flug would get along together if they were obligated to spend a day in one of their labs to work together on a project? (I dunno I sorry is lame)

Ok I’ve had this sitting in my askbox for…..like a year or something maybe more idk BUT, I’ve finally finished. I’ll post it on both fanfiction.net and AO3 sometime later but here it is now, I call it Lab Partners

Dr. Flug met Dr. Slug on one of White Hat’s visits to Black Hat. Black Hat did not see his brother often, in fact if he could help it he would probably never see his brother at all. But a few times a year White Hat would come to the manor and Black Hat would tolerate him for the duration of the visit. Dr. Flug never asked why, he knew better than to pry into Black Hat’s personal or familial business, so the matter of the twins’ good/evil dynamic remained an enigma. Black Hat respected White Hat, Dr. Flug was certain of that. He just didn’t particularly care for him in the slightest. Black Hat was very frank about this and White Hat didn’t seem to mind, so Dr. Flug assumed that was normal for them. He carried on, not like it was his business anyway.

It was a bit much though for their bosses to just expect them to collaborate at the drop of a hat.

Dr. Slug was White Hat’s head scientist, a man of about Flug’s skill and talent. They mostly found themselves on the sidelines when their bosses got together. They made small talk, occasionally theorizing about what it was their bosses did during their little meet-ups, but that was about it. He knew him, but he didn’t know him. From what he understood Slug was essentially serving community service for crimes against humanity. Like Flug, he was under contract to work for the rest of his natural life. Also like Flug, it wasn’t perfect but he made the best of it. Little use complaining about things they couldn’t change. Dr. Flug supposed he could say they were friendly with each other. Full on friends was pushing it, but they were on good terms.

Black Hat gave a curt, “Flug, I want you to have the atom destabilizer done by today. Clemencia and Demencia are off on a mission together and Dr. Slug will be assisting you so I expect it to be complete by the time my brother and I finish our business. No excuses.”

Well, two hats. As in Black Hat and White Hat just dropped Dr. Slug onto Dr. Flug like he was the go-to babysitter of this unwanted ginger child.

“Yes of course, Lord Black Hat sir.” Is what Dr. Flug said, while he thought I’ve never worked with this man in my life, you expect seamless teamwork!?

“I assure you, Dr. Slug is more than up to the task at hand.” White Hat said, perhaps sensing Dr. Flug’s silent apprehension. “Why, with the two of you working together, you may finish with time to spare!”

White Hat’s beaming grin directly contrasted with Black Hat glaring holes into his head scientist. Dr. Slug entered behind the two of them, neglecting to say a word. It didn’t seem Slug was looking forward to being lab partners either. Black Hat spoke calmly, but in that familiar tone of his that left no room for argument. “Finish the machine by the time we get back.”

“I won’t let you down sir!” Dr. Flug saluted, internally whining That’s such an unspecified deadline!

“We’ll be in the office,” White Hat called, following his brother out of the laboratory. “Call us if there’s any kind of emergency.”

“Do not disturb us for anything short of the end of the world.” Black Hat growled.

“I thought you were planning on doing that.”

“Precisely. No one else is allowed to obliterate this filthy dirt-ball but me.”

“That is so like you.”

“Be quiet!” Black Hat snapped. The twins were too far gone after that for the pair of scientists to continue eavesdropping. A shame, that was about the only thing they’d ever done together before; listening in and trying to figure out why the hell those two hung out when they had nothing in common. Was it business related? Family matters? Some kind of otherworldly brotherly bond beyond human comprehension?

“I believe I have found one similarity between the two of them.” Dr. Slug said in lieu of a greeting or other friendly introduction.

They weren’t likely to find out soon. Not with the both of them in the lab furiously working to get this done before their bosses got back.

“Oh?”

“Yes. They’re both inconsiderate and entitled.” He snarled from behind his paper bag. “Didn’t ask so much as once whether I was willing to lend a hand or not, or if I could. I have very time-sensitive experiments in progress back in my own lab, all for him, and yet he pulls me out to play ‘assistant’ to you. No offense.”

“None taken.” It wasn’t as if Black Hat had asked Flug if he required help, or had discussed with him at all why progress was so slow. It couldn’t be the complexity of the machine or the deadline making him rush, no, it must be he’s incompetent and he needs this wannabe mad scientist to help him along.

“So, the atom destabilizer,” Dr. Slug got right down to business. “Is that it?”

“Yep,” Dr. Flug sighed, eyeing the thing. Most of the exoskeleton was complete, it just needed the internal mechanisms assembled and the outer steel plates attached. “Let’s see, how are we going to do this?”

“Are these the blueprints?” Dr. Slug was already going through the documents strewn around on Dr. Flug’s desk. “Ugh, ever thought about organizing these?”

“A little pointless, with Demencia around.” And get your hands off my papers.

“Hmph.” Wow, check out the attitude on this guy. Dr. Flug didn’t know where he got off acting like such a brat, when the circumstances that led him to this point in his life were due to his own failures in the realm of mad science. “Alright, I understand what I’m working with. Let’s get this over with.”

“Sounds good. Grab the 5⁄8’s wrench and come here.”

“The outside is nearly done, it shouldn’t take long to build the cooling rod or dark matter collider with the two of us, so our first priority should be-”

Dr. Slug rolled his eyes (seriously what was his deal?) and snatched up the wrench with a huff. Dr. Flug tried not to let it get to him too much. After all, neither of them were really happy about this. But since it was their bosses’ orders they weren’t exactly at liberty to say “no”. Dr. Slug couldn’t refuse White Hat anymore than Dr. Flug could Black Hat. Granted, Dr. Slug probably wasn’t at risk of being sent to the dimension of eternal suffering, but he was at risk of being nagged by White Hat. Who, Dr. Flug had been told, would simply not take “no” for an answer. Hey, maybe that’s why he and Black Hat got together. Even Black Hat couldn’t refuse his brother forever.

“Assembling those before we insert the power cell or dark matter, yes, I can see that. Might I ask why you’ve chosen to bolt it together rather than weld it?”

“Because it will withstand the pressure more effectively.”

Dr. Slug gave him a bit of a sideways glance before turning away. “If you say so.”

“Uh huh.” Don’t you side-eye me you two-bit C-lister. “I’ll handle the dark matter collider, you take the cooling rod, ok?”

Dr. Flug didn’t know what on earth this man’s problem was but he needed to get his superiority complex checked. If he was expecting Flug to be the same cowering doormat everyone saw in the advertisements and orientation videos, he was in for a very rude awakening. This was his laboratory. His domain. He was in charge here. Slug was only here to serve as an extra pair of hands.

“Fine.” Dr. Slug said with another roll of his eyes and a flick of his wrist that nearly gave Dr. Flug flashbacks of Demencia carelessly tossing his tools down the toilet. He’d lost seven different wrenches that way!

Dr. Flug decided he’d try and make some small conversation. Just to pass the time a bit quicker. “So…how’s your project 6.6.6. going?”

After a good two hours of silently working, the tension in the air seemed almost gone. Both men had relaxed into their respective grooves, getting lost in their work. Dr. Slug did seem to understand the machine they were building here, and given how briefly he’d looked at the blueprints that was admittedly impressive. Flug had to remind himself that Slug was still White Hat’s head scientist. And much like Black Hat, White Hat didn’t settle for anything less than perfection. He may be a hero but his standards were as impossibly high as his brothers’.

“6.0.6.” Dr. Slug corrected. “Fine, thank you. He’s proving quite a force to be reckoned with and I hypothesize he will only grow more aggressive as he matures.”

“That’s nice.” Dr. Flug said, knowing that it couldn’t compare to-

“And your experiment 5.0.5.? How is it?”

“He is indestructible, as I designed him.”

“Is he now? So many people claim that about their creations, but so few are capable of managing it.”

“I’m well aware Dr. Slug, but I can assure you that 5.0.5. is indestructible.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. Not even Black Hat has been able to destroy him completely.”

Dr. Slug paused, leaving a bolt loose. “Is that right? Not even Black Hat?”

“That’s right.” Dr. Flug’s gloating smile was barely given away in the creases of his paper bag. “No matter how much he crushes, or shreds, or rips 5.0.5. apart, he regenerates fully from even the smallest molecules.”

“I see.” Oh Dr. Slug didn’t like that. Oh he didn’t like that at all. Dr. Flug continued working, acting oblivious to the glare behind the other scientists’ goggles. “And…where is this indestructible creature you’ve created?”

“Black Hat’s been keeping him in his office as a living stress-ball.” Dr. Flug honestly felt bad about it, the poor thing was torn to shreds multiple times a day. But, so long as his boss was relieving stress (and not taking it out on Flug) he wasn’t going to object. Besides, Black Hat got to see firsthand that 5.0.5. was in fact indestructible. A perfect organism, a testament to Dr. Flug’s genius.

“Hmph. Awfully convenient.” Dr. Slug said under his breath.

“If you would like to take time away from our project and interrupt Lord Black Hat just to see my creation, be my guest.” Dr. Flug didn’t even look up from his work. “I’m sure White Hat will protect you.”

“Yes. Of course he would.” Dr. Slug tightened the bolt all the way. “Not even Black Hat can defeat him.”

“Excuse me?!” Dr. Flug nearly burst out laughing. “You really think White Hat is stronger than Black Hat?”

“I think they’re about evenly matched, but if it ever came down to it White Hat would ultimately win.”

“Well I doubt that very much.”

“Go ahead, but remember, this is Black Hat’s brother we’re talking about here.”

“Yeah, his hero brother.”

“Exactly. Black Hat hates heroes with a passion. Yet the most he does with White Hat is bicker with him. Haven’t you ever wondered why?”

“Well…he’s his brother.”

“Shared blood has never stopped humans. Why would it stop them? This is what brings me to my conclusion. I think the reason Black Hat doesn’t destroy White Hat is because he can’t. I think this is also the reason he indulges White Hat in his visits and clearly has some begrudging respect for him. I don’t doubt Black Hat would attack more viciously, but I believe White Hat’s ability to remain level headed gives him enough of an advantage to ultimately win. As for why White Hat doesn’t destroy Black Hat, well, heroes don’t do that. And like you said, he is his brother.”

He still thought Dr. Slug’s theory was a load of crap. There was no one stronger than Black Hat. No one could stand against him. Not even his own brother could claim so. And until Black Hat himself admitted he couldn’t beat him (which, even if it were true, he would never do) Dr. Flug would treat this as fact. Objective, unbiased fact.

“Hmmmm. Interesting theory, doctor.” Dr. Flug dropped the issue, getting back to reinforcing the holding tank for the dark matter collider. If it wasn’t sturdy enough, the machine would destroy everything within a planet-wide radius, right down to the subatomic level. They just needed it to do that within the walls of the machine.

Unlike Slug, who was very clearly biased.

“Ok, it still needs a few reinforcements before we can insert the dark matter collider. The cooling rod however-”

Both scientists finished their work at about the same time and then began the process of inputting them into the actual machine.

“-We can just stick in.” Dr. Slug interrupted. “I’m not a grad student, Flug.”

“That’s Dr. Flug to you. Now let’s get this cooling rod set up.”

“Very well.”

“So,” Dr. Slug ventured. “How is, uhhh, what’s her name?”

The two of them together did prove to get through the days work faster. Flug on his own would most likely still have a decent amount of work to do on the dark matter collider, and wouldn’t be able to install it under the next day. With the cooling rod properly inserted, each scientist picked a side and further reinforced the device. Staying out of each other’s way and keeping productive.

“Demencia?”

“Yeah her.”

Dr. Flug severely doubted that Dr. Slug could even be capable of forgetting Demencia’s name, if for no other reason than because it rhymed with Clemencia. “A pain, as usual. She’s off with, what is it, Clementine?”

“Clemencia.”

“That’s her. They’re on a mission together, right? Any idea what they’re up to?”

“No, and I can hardly imagine any situation that requires the two of them. Clemencia is strong but she’s not exactly what you’d call a thinker.”

Dr. Flug laughed. “Is that right?”

“She can’t put together a plan more complex than ‘Go find bad guy, beat up bad guy, and get praised by White Hat’.” Dr. Slug rolled his eyes. “Nevermind how she’ll find the evil-doer, she’ll just run around yelling for him to come face her.”

“Oh Demencia is exactly the same. Her go-to strategy is usually just to cause as much destruction as possible until a hero shows up to stop her. With no regard to my carefully thought out plans to lure the hero into a trap.”

“Oh my god, yes! I spend hours coming up with a psychological profile of our targets to find any sort of weakness or bait to destroy them, but does Clemencia care about that? No! She just runs around goading villains to come take a shot at her. And the worst part of it is-”

“-It works.” They said in unison.

“And since we get our targets anyway, White Hat never does anything to make her listen. Not even so much as to lecture her about listening to me in the field!” Dr. Slug clenched his fist angrily. “You know how many times she’s inadvertently incapacitated herself in the middle of a fight?”

It was like the heavens had parted. All ill-will between the scientists dissipated as they vented about their juvenile cohorts and the disregard they were shown by their superiors. Before they knew it they’d completed the reinforcements on the exoskeleton of the machine. They kept chatting as they prepped the dark matter collider.

“Is it more than twelve? It’s happened to Demencia about twelve or thirteen times by now.”

“Clem is at thirteen last I counted. Now White Hat has scolded her once or twice when she’s let a villain slip through her fingers, but I doubt she’s really listening when the two of them are face-to-face like that.”

“Does she get lost gazing into his eye?” Dr. Flug braced himself on his elbows across the table.

Slug burst out laughing. “Yes! God, she gets so starstruck I wouldn’t be surprised if every word he said just went in one ear and out the other.”

“You’d think they’d actually listen to their bosses if they loved him so much.”

“You would think.”

The laboratory doors flew open and Black Hat’s voice roared. “FLUG! THAT DEVICE BETTER BE COMPLETE!”

“J-J-Just putting on the finishing touches!” Dr. Flug scrambled to his feet. “C’mon, you grab it from the other end and we’ll fasten the collider inside.”

The Doctors lifted the final piece of the machine and somehow managed to carry it inside on nothing but sheer willpower and fear-induced adrenaline. Dr. Slug collapsed as soon as he let go of it. Black Hat turned to White Hat with a sneer. “Still think they could finish with time to spare?”

White Hat shrugged. “I consider myself an optimist. It wouldn’t kill you to try a more positive attitude as well you know.”

“Well it’s about time. All that’s left now is to test it out.” Black Hat declared with an evil grin. He stepped forward with a small ball of baby blue fluff clutched in one hand so hard the poor little thing’s eyes were bulging out. It was causing Dr. Flug pain just looking at 5.0.5. like this.

Dr. Flug ignored their conversation and focused on this last part of assembly. He and Dr. Slug went around from opposite ends tightening each bolt and then double checking that everything was structurally sound. Dr. Flug declared the device to be complete as Dr. Slug went back and inserted the power cell before either of the Hats got on their case about not finishing by the time limit.

“Oh, actually, may I put forth a candidate?” White Hat held up a small light orange ball of fuzz that had furiously latched on to him and was in the process of trying to bite his fingers off.

Black Hat eyed the thing and stood aside. “Very well, I can always put this abomination in another time.”

“Thank you brother.”

“Don’t push it.”

Flug noticed Slug looked a little antsy as White Hat pried the thing off his hand and struggled to get it to stay put. “What’s wrong Dr. Slug? Worried your creation will be decimated by my device?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He crossed his arms tensely. “6.0.6. can handle whatever you could put him through.”

“Seems we’re about to find out.” Dr. Flug held his hands behind his back and watched. He felt no fear in 5.0.5. being subjected to the atom destabilizer, if he could survive Black Hat there was nothing that could destroy him. 6.0.6. was another story. Dr. Flug doubted White Hat took to habitually tearing it apart. So now they would all see exactly what Dr. Slug’s creation was made of. Literally, as it would be torn down to its molecular structure.

“Well, we know the atom destabilizer works.” White Hat said. “It’s a shame about 6.0.6. though Dr. Slug.”

White Hat finally got the feisty little thing inside the machine and shut it tight. He gave the signal that everything was ready and Flug activated the machine. There was a loud whirring sound as it powered up, and a muffled banging noise caused by 6.0.6. trying to bust out. Black Hat smirked at the futile display. A harsh light radiated from inside and bit by bit 6.0.6.’s little body started to crumble away. First his fur, then each layer of skin, then muscle, down to organs and bones. Not even blood was left of him. Dr. Flug deactivated the device and everyone crowded around to get a good look at what remained of 6.0.6. Dr. Slug was in the lead, throwing the door open and cradling his hands around the floating specs of dust that had been his creature. Dr. Flug hung back, confident that this proved his scientific superiority. Where genetically engineered ultimate lifeforms were concerned at least.

“Just give it a minute.” He said.

“Flug, I want to start shooting a commercial for this in ten minutes. Get Cam-Bot ready and the atom destabilizer on set.” Black Hat commanded.

“Yes sir!” Ten minutes!??! He screamed in his head. How do you imagine I can pull that off?!?!!

“He’s coming back.” Dr. Slug announced. “He’s reforming!”

“GAH! No! BAd! Bad 6.0.6.! Very bad!” He stumbled and fell back with it still on his face. He tried to pry it off but only injured himself further.

Everyone’s attention was drawn back to the space 6.0.6. used to occupy and yes, the molecules that made him up were pulling themselves back together at an increasingly rapid rate. Within seconds the thing was back, and promptly dug it’s tiny claws and teeth into Dr. Slug’s face.

“Oh good he survived!” White Hat clapped. “I really thought we might’ve lost him for a second there!”

“Help me! OW OW OW OW AAGH NOT MY EYES!”

“Ah, yes, sorry Dr. Slug! I’ll be right there!”

“We’re BAAAACK!” Came the two high pitched voices of Clemencia and Demencia. Neither of whom could be bothered to notice Dr. Slug’s predicament and instead went straight to the object of their respective affections.

“I took care of that no-good has-been who tried to go straight!” Demencia batted her eyes at Black Hat.

“I confiscated all his equipment and his computer!” Clemencia held a large assortment of weapons and tools up triumphantly.

“Very good ladies.” White Hat declared. “That’ll be the last we hear out of him.

Black Hat grunted. “Can’t stand disloyalty.”

“IS ANYONE GOING TO HELP ME!?!?” Dr. Slug shrieked.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Dr. Slug!” White Hat pulled 6.0.6. off only for the feral thing to impale the inhuman hero instead. He turned to Black Hat. “I believe it’s time for us to be going.”

“Yes, please.” Black Hat tossed 5.0.5. to Dr. Flug. The poor thing was trembling in fear. All said their goodbyes and the White Hat crew was off. “Finally they’re gone.”

“Finally.” Flug agreed. He continued to stroke 5.0.5. until he stopped shaking so hard.

“So, you and Slug huh? Was he as annoying as Clemencia?” Demencia gagged on her name.

“Even worse.”

“No way he could be worse than Lil’ Miss Goody-Two Shoes. Though she throws a mean left hook.”

“Was she a pompous jerk who kept questioning your methods?”

“Yeah! Always whining about ‘the greater good’ and how many losses are ‘acceptable’. Just pick a side woman!”

“Guess they’re about even then.” Dr. Flug wouldn’t say it out loud, but it really hadn’t been so bad working with Dr. Slug. Once he stopped giving him so much attitude.

“Five minutes until we start shooting Flug.” Black Hat announced. He was already leaving to go prepare.

Dr. Flug sighed. “Yes sir.”

#Villainous #villanos #fanfiction #writers on tumblr #dr. flug #dr.slug #heroic au?#not sure this is really a ficlet but it is much shorter than my usual work

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