#dragonie is still PINK. TO ME!!!!!

[orbitunbreakable]

had to make this joke before anyone else could

(reference source under the Read More)

[herecirmsims]

Thank you for the tag, @blacknoiseabyss ! 

Ask Game!!

rules: answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to get to know better.

favorite color: Black, but I also like to mix it up with hot pink and rainbow. It depends on how I feel on the day.

currently reading: Book three of Heaven Official’s Blessing.... and about 50 million Sims stories. 

last song you listened to: I currently have my Spotify Liked on shuffle - the song playing now is Lords Of The Hunt by Dragony. Before that it was Relatives by Lowkey & Logic. Also, @blacknoiseabyss ‘s answer made me think about what the last band I saw live was - I think it was maaaybe Korpiklaani? It’s been at least 4 years since I saw live music. No one comes to Wales lmfao.

last series you watched: I’m 8 episodes from the end of Ever Night, which has been an enjoyable ride if slightly problematic in places? I dunno, I’m still trying to decide if they’re actually being really clever lmao. Regardless, war crimes grandpa is my new favourite character trope.

sweet, spicy, or savory: Sweet AND savoury, together. Sweet and savoury POPCORN togther, yum! I can’t handle any spice at all haha.

craving: Nothing right now, I’m pretty content.

tea or coffee: Tea 100%. I don’t like coffee.

working on: So many posepacks. Want a sneak peak? A bunch of these are finished, some will be out over Simblreen and others are requests which will be out when their requesters have debuted them.

Tagging : @alpine-lapine @simmireen @izayoichan @lunelfy​ @mini-zuzu​ @alicesimblr​ @kindredsims​ @rovingpixels​ @simmerianne93​ 

[sylviegunpla]

Plamo: Pokémon Select 052: Gyarados

In all his raging glory, a Gyarados! This was actually a pretty simple build, but like most pokemon sets, it had some annoying stickers. luckily not as many as the worst offenders. The dark red of his inner mouth and the pink of his tongue are both different stickers. I guess they really didn't wanna have a super tiny red and pink subrunner on this build? Don't ask me why how plamo engineering works (but if you know i'd actually love for you to infodump at me!) The eyes are also stickers but i rarely consider that offensive in most builds. Even gundam does it and for the most part i accept the stickers they give us for eyes. Very rarely do i do my own eyes (there will be some exceptions, posted later!)

Don't talk to me or my son ever again!

I did this back in October, holy fuck. There's actually not a single thing i could reasonable panel line on this model, so ti's presented as is. Ideally, i think you could erase the seam line running down the entire length of the model, using sprue glue and whatnot. But that would be a lot of effort and would probably look messy and maybe require a paint job to touch up, at which point it becomes too much work. Luckily it's mostly front-facing in its poses so you can't really see it, so it's all good. Also, it sits really firmly in place on its base, so display is easy!

It's got some decent twisty posability but it's not too much, bend it too much one way and it falls over. Still a decent model kit of a long dragony boy! Stats for nerds:

its waste is about equal to its weight. Not the worst offender. EDIT: I found something to panel line! His lil nostrils:

[aurumacadicus]

AU idea: Tony is a dragon shapeshifter, and only Rhodey has ever figured out what his hoard is. (Any pairing or just BFFs)

For years, Rhodey was the only person alive who knew what Tony's hoard was.

Finding out had been an accident, a boy too young to be away from his parents being roomed with just-barely adults. One of his friends had snatched the Bucky Bear from Tony's bed while they were studying, making fun of it, and Tony had come in and snorted out smoke, eyes filling with tears.

Rhodey had snatched it back and told everyone to leave if they were going to be assholes about it, and Tony had clung to him the rest of the night, stuffed animal clenched in his shaking hands.

Now, he didn't come back from overseas without at least a small stuffed animal, even if it was only something from the airport giftshop. It was always a joy, watching Tony take it to the room he kept his hoard locked in and figure out where to put it. He always tried to make the newest one sit up front, but he also hated when it didn't look good with the others.

When his niece had been born, Tony had carefully taken a bear with a pink bow and little ballerina shoes from his collection, put it in a box, and set in Rhodey's lap, fingers lingering nervously before he pulled his hands back to his side. "Thanks, Tony," Rhodey had said gently, realizing what a gift it truly was, and Lila still slept with it to this day.

He only learned that the rest of the Avengers had learned about Tony's hoard when Pepper sent him a link to the Avengers' YouTube channel.

"--ot of research to find a detergent that would clean Bucky Bear but wouldn't strip him of color," Natasha was saying when it loaded, one hand keeping the unstuffed bear submerged as the other carefully cupped the water and dribbled it over the bear's forehead, as gentle as if it was a real baby. "I tested it on some stuffies I got from the thrift store, and this one worked best. I put a link to it if anyone else wants to wash their delicate stuffies. I use cool water to wash it as well. When Bucky is dry, I'll fluff him with a slicker brush. If you're following along, make sure to be very gentle, so you don't tear out any fur. Steve stitched up a heart for me with some of his old stuffing ins--"

Rhodey closed the video, considering. Finally, he called Tony. "What's going on with Bucky Bear?" he asked as soon as Tony picked up.

"I'm hiding under my bed," was all Tony replied, and then he hung up.

Rhodey was halfway into the War Machine armor when his phone pinged with another text. It was from Tony's phone. Someone else must have taken it though, because the picture was of Tony, dragony and happily curled around a very refreshed-looking Bucky Bear. Even the buttons shined like new pennies. "He made a weird sound so we're leaving," appeared beneath the text almost immediately after.

Rhodey finished getting into the armor. It was probably purring. Most people expected dragons to sound like cats, but that failed to account for the fact that they breathed fire. He wanted to make sure Tony was really okay, and when he was purring was also the best time to cuddle. It was like getting a full-body, deep-tissue massage, with the bonus of Tony being happy and comfortable. He'd be able to scope out how the rest of the Avengers were treating his hoard, but he got the sense that they must be doing something right, considering that Tony had simply hidden under his bed instead of burning the tower to the ground in distress.

[dodiejinx]

"Just a little tighter here, some blush there. Definitely more sparkle here. Voila! Tre Magnifique! You look so splendid. So-"

Amelle was cut off by a very uncomfortable little dragony.

"Pink. I look like a cotton candy had a baby with missus Pie's special crazy cupcakes. I look like if a Disney princess got drunk and made a confetti explode this dress and this make up on my body."

Lila made an effort to turn her head toward her sister, had to turn her whole body in order to make eye contact.

"Isn't this a bit much for a little miss buttercup pageant. I know it's held in Canterlot and all your big time friends will be there, but I don't think I have enough room to breathe in this thing, I can't even turn head without doing a whole 360 just so I can look at you."

Amelle whipped her sister around to face the mirror and finish

"Of course this is necessary. If we want to win you need to do exactly as I say and wear what I tell you to wear. Besides you were the one who asked me to help you. If you want to win and show those prissy, stuck up little pieces of shit- . . . "

The worked up dragony stopped herself mid rant, she was almost embarrassed using such language in front of her little siste. r. She composed herself and continued to place up her dress and touch up her spikes.

"That no matter if you are a pony, dragon, both or neither. You are still the cutest, the kindest, the most fearless, and the best little sister anyone could ask for."

" . . . Thanks Amelle, your the best sister anybody could ask for too! Even though you stuffed me into this Pink nightmare dress."

Lila attempted to hug tackle her sister like she always does, but she tripped on her dress and fell flat on her face

"LILA. OH MY GOODNESS! Mon doux ange are you alright."

Amelle picked her sweet sister up and held her in a tight big mama bear hug

"You keep hugging me while I got this death dress on, I won't be."

"Oh, sorry mon ange. Maybe you were right. I suppose this dress was a tad too, much."

Lila looks at her dress and back at her sister.

"You think?"

They both laugh and hug. Amelle picks her sister up and twirls around

"I'm sorry for putting through this grief honey. If you don't want to go through with the pageant we can back out now."

"No way, I'm gonna show those prissy bitches that I can walk and strut just as cute as any filly."

"Fantastic! Now let's throw away this travesty and create a dress that is truly Lila Dawn!"

They both walk to the fitting room, or in Lila's case waddle.

"And can we make it walkable, possibly breathable. Oh and fire proof!"

"Wait a mome- why fire proof?"

"I got a real showy talent for the talent portion of the pageant. It's gonna knock those prissy judges socks off."

Amelle starts to happy cry at how determined and devious she is.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so proud! I'll work on a spell for fire resistance then. This shall be my most fantastic piece yet. You ready mon ange!"

"Born ready!"

-_-_-_-_-__-__-_-___-_-_-_-__-_-_-_-_-_--__-_-__-_-_-_-_-__-_-_-_-__-_-_-_-_

One of the sweeter moments with Amelle and Lila.

Hope you likey!!!

Link below:

https://www.deviantart.com/estories/art/Background-Carousel-Boutique-2-799006440

[no-shxme]

Wander Closer (Complete)

McHanzo | AU + Dragon! Hanzo | NSFW | AO3 Link

shame’s note: this is a one shot from a longer story I want to write. got some fresh dragony hanzo and McCree. enjoy! 

He’s lucky to have gotten this close, McCree knows. He can’t help but think that it’s because Hanzo likes him, or at least tolerates him enough to allow him near. Even now the dragon-man glances back to make sure he’s following. He catches his gaze for just a moment before he slips back into the darkness ahead, silent as dust save for the click of his claws against stone.

He could easily be going to his death. Maybe Hanzo is luring him to a trap, deep within his lair. McCree isn’t one to take death lying down but the dragon he’s following is what keeps him moving forward, going deeper into the mountain ruins he’d set out to explore.

“Where’ya leadin’ me?” He asks after the silence has become too stifling. It’s unsettling him, making him wonder if he is wandering towards his death.

The dragon stops moving, he can tell because the clicking quits as well. A moment later he’s there, in front of him so suddenly that McCree’s breath hitches. In the lantern light, his beauty is even more apparent. A strong jaw, long mottled blue ears, the curve of long ivory horns that jut out above his hair, McCree could probably stare for hours, just drink it all in. He barely looks a day over twenty-five but Jesse wonders how old he really is. Wonders about this situation entirely.

As it is, Hanzo lays a careful hand flat against his chest and McCree stops breathing altogether. The dragon’s fingernails are sharp—but not as sharp as he would have guessed—as they trace the seam of McCree’s button up. Hanzo’s looking up at McCree almost like he’s waiting for something, anything. The faintest trace of a sly smile creeps across his face, a hint of fangs.

“Goddamn,” he croaks, finally finding his voice. His free hand, not holding the lantern, is hovering at Hanzo’s side, almost conflicted, aching to touch. “You’re gorgeous, know that?”

Hanzo small smile widens into something more approving. He pulls away from McCree, snatching the cowboy hat off his head with a quick movement.

“My hat—” Jesse’s voice dies out as he watches the dragon slot the Stetson over his horns. He glances back at McCree, arching one perfect brow and tweaking the angle of the hat on his head. He tucks his hands into the sleeves of his robe and disappears back into the darkness ahead.

It takes his feet a few seconds to catch up to his brain before McCree stumbles after Hanzo. He can’t hear him anymore and for a minute he’s wandering through the dim hallway on his own. The hallway’s cold drafts tickle his ears and the tip of his nose but he keeps walking, a bit faster now, boots loud against the cracked stone.

“Where’d you run off to?” His words come out hushed, the silence smothering his usual loudness. The foreboding feeling is returning, settling in his bones like the chill.

There’s a doorway to his right, covered by a hanging layer of thin fabric. McCree brushes it out of the way and steps inside, raising his lantern higher.

“Oh.”

It’s a bedroom, old and drafty but a bedroom nonetheless. Half melted unlit candles dot the walls, surrounding the futon in the middle. It’s low to the ground and lined with dark pillows, stark against the paleness of the mattress. Clearly, the area had been refurbished. It’s a bit messy, mismatched sheer fabric and blankets draped every which way, colorful pebbles piled on the floor, and cups of wildflowers positioned at random, but—it’s enchanting.

A strange word, but fitting, considering the dragon on the bed. Jesse’s arm sags and the light dims as the lantern swings. Hanzo’s in the center of the room, among the pillows and old decor. Sat down on the bed away from him, pulling the golden ribbon loose from his long hair. It sways as he relaxes his shoulders, probably as soft as it looks.

Jesse swallows. “Goddamn.”

Hanzo looks at him over his shoulder and his eyes are sly but his grin is almost wicked.

He quickly lights a few of the candles, just enough to help the lantern. His hands are shaking but he doesn’t think about it. Instead, he sheds his bag and kicks his boots into the corner. This might be a big mistake. He doesn’t know anything about dragons, maybe this is how they eat people, lure them in so they can’t escape.

But then he looks up at the creature, sees his strangely appraising glance, and all rational thoughts fall by the wayside.

“Can I?” He asks, hushed, hopeful as he crouches at the edge of the futon, sturdy boots crunching on the stone floor. He can’t be reading this wrong, can he? He was literally led to Hanzo’s bedroom.

Hanzo seems to consider his words. Jesse wonders how he sounds. Maybe deep, maybe light and airy. Perhaps he can’t speak at all.

McCree watches the stranger’s head jerk down in a nod, eyelids fluttering shut for a moment. That’s all the answer he needs, surging forward, hands sliding up Hanzo’s waist.

“Gorgeous.” He presses his nose against Hanzo’s hair, lips against his temple. “God—damn, you’re so gorgeous.” He pulls away so he can see his face. “I could look at ya’ for hours.”

The dragon under him seems to preen, a faint hum filling the air. It sends a chill down Jesse’s spine.

“You’re Hanzo, right?” McCree asks as he takes off his jacket. “I didn’t just misinterpret wrong? My Japanese ain’t that great.”

Hanzo nods and pulls off his hat, tossing it across the floor. It’s the first definite sign that he understands him. McCree runs a few fingers through his hair and finds it just as silky as he’s imagined.

“I’m Jesse,” he says, and watches as Hanzo’s mouth silently forms the name. His eyes are burning, alive with heat.

Deft hands make quick work of the buttons on McCree’s shirt and a moment later it hangs open. He smooths his thumb over an ivory horn as Hanzo’s palms map the expanse of his scruffy chest. Jesse knows he’s a looker, known ever since he was young. He chuckles at the dragon’s approving expression.

“Like what’cha see?” His attention turns to Hanzo’s own clothing, still very much on. “C’mon I wanna see ya’ too.” He tugs at the sash around Hanzo’s waist and it loosens, slipping off and pooling on the futon. Sharp fingers latch onto McCree’s bandana, tugging him forward into a biting kiss. Hanzo’s lips are warm against his, and one of his fangs catches on McCree’s lower lip, drawing out a grunt of pain. Jesse pulls the dragon’s robe down, exposing more tempting skin. He leans back onto his knees and breaks away from the kiss, Hanzo’s mouth chasing his backwards.

He whistles, a short breathy thing, because Hanzo is just full of surprises. His skin is unblemished except for spots of scales on the shoulders, dark in color. And the tattoo, Jesse would love to examine it closer. A winding dragon wraps around Hanzo’s arm, vibrant and detailed. He follows it up to Hanzo’s chest, enthralled. Was he born with it? Did he get it done?

A warm hand palms his bulge and focuses his attention back on the task at hand. He dips his head down and latches onto a dark nipple. Hanzo whines and he relishes in the sound, wonders what other noises he can pull out of him.

“Spread your legs for me,” he murmurs, voice thick. “Lemme see what we’re dealing with.”

Hanzo’s legs part easily, robe opening even more. McCree slips the rest of it off, laying the dragon bare. He whistles again, taking in the toned body below him. Hanzo is lithe and muscular, and basically looks human but—

He’s not. The horns, the fangs, the scales, and now the pink slit between Hanzo’s legs. McCree hums to himself thoughtfully.

“You a lady?” Jesse asks, rubbing the inside of Hanzo’s thighs with his thumb. He doesn’t know dragon anatomy. Maybe this is what a girl looks like.

A sturdy knee collides none too gently with his chest. Hanzo’s scowling.

“Okay, not a lady,” McCree chuckles apologetically. He shifts himself backwards. “Scooch up? I’ll make you feel good.”

Hanzo shuffles backwards clumsily and McCree immediately ducks down to lick a long stripe up the dragon’s sex. He’s rewarded with a quiet gasp. Another sound to add to the collection. He dips his tongue even lower, exploring. Hanzo is already deliciously wet. It’s easy enough to slide two fingers in and feel how tight he is, throbbing around the intrusion. Jesse prods curiously at a nub at the very top of Hanzo’s entrance and he revels in the way the creature jolts. He prods it again and fingers find his hair and pull hard.

“Alright alright,” he half hisses, going where his head is pulled. Sadly up and away from between Hanzo’s legs. “Would be helpful if you said somethin’.”

Hanzo glares at him shrewdly. In one swift movement, he unbalances McCree with his knee and swings him under him. McCree’s head hits the stiff mattress none too gently. He blinks at the dragon now sitting on top of him.

“Jesse.” Hanzo speaks like he’s testing the name out. His voice is deep. Deeper than Jesse would have assumed. Not bad though. Not bad at all.

“You’re—” he wants to say gorgeous, but he’s already repeated himself too much so his words catch in his throat. Hanzo doesn’t wait for him to finish, grinding down on Jesse’s trapped cock.

He chokes. “Fuck, hang on sweetheart.”

Hanzo gracefully lifts himself up to his knees to allow McCree to fumble with his belt. He manages to unbuckle it and forces his pants and underwear down in one rushed movement. The cold air hits his now bared cock and he winces. Hanzo looks at it carefully as he settles back down on McCree’s hips.

“It’s big, for a human,” Jesse reassures, a bit embarrassed by the staring.

Hanzo raises an eyebrow. He reaches down and grips the base of Jesse’s cock, running his palm up the shaft. It’s almost like he’s weighing it in his hand. Jesse jolts as the dragon’s curious thumb dips against the end of his cock.

“Careful darlin’,” he croaks, voice shaking just a little.

Hanzo looks at him and his eyes are dark with lust. He tosses his head up haughtily as if being asked to be careful is a disrespectful challenge.

The dragon raises his hips and lines up Jesse’s aching cock with his entrance. The scales dotting his body glimmer in the candlelight and his tattoo almost seems to glow. McCree can’t help but wonder—once again—if this is real. Maybe he’s hallucinating. Maybe he got lost in the mountain snow and this is his one respite before he dies.

McCree doesn’t really care either way. It feels real as Hanzo sinks onto his cock. He watches as Hanzo slides down slowly, huffing and sighing as he takes inch after inch till he’s fully seated. It’s impossibly hot and tight and Jesse props himself up on one elbow to admire how Hanzo trembles.

“That’s it,” he encourages breathily. “You’ve got it, you’re perfect.”

The dragon’s face is flushed but the extra compliment still shows as his expression breaks into a hazy smile. He begins to rock himself on McCree’s cock, starting at a tempo that has them both groaning. Jesse grips Hanzo’s thighs to steady him, brushing his fingers over the smooth skin. The room is still cold, candles offering little to no heat, but Hanzo is so warm around him. He clenches around his dick suddenly and stills, chest heaving, eyes fluttering shut.

“Feel good?” McCree asks, in a voice like the rocky hills he’d climbed to get here.

Hanzo looks at him through half-lidded eyes. He knows it does, but McCree isn’t quite done yet. He slaps Hanzo’s hip gently.

“Off for a sec.” He groans as Hanzo pulls off of him with a whine.

He eases Hanzo onto his back and spreads his legs wide, rubbing the head of his still hard cock against the dragon’s cunt.

“Jesse—” the blessed name leaves Hanzo’s lips as he claws at Jesse’s arms.

“Easy there darlin’,” Jesse grunts and pushes inside again, feeling the blissful heat once more.

McCree starts a pace then, a fast but gentle pace. He wants to take his time. He wants to savor this gorgeous dragon and let this last because he knows it won’t last. Leaning down, Jesse sucks a mark onto Hanzo’s neck. The creature underneath him keens, back arching high off the mattress.

He continues, pressure building in his gut and Hanzo’s loud. He’s loud and so hot as he whines and groans. Eventually, it becomes too much and Jesse releases with a shout, voice echoing across the room. Maybe across the ruins entirely.

    Hanzo’s chest heaves below him as he pulls out, breath heavy. McCree watches a bead of white bubble out of Hanzo’s rosy slit before he shuffles up next to him on the futon.

“Don’t talk much?” he asks brushing long hair from the dragon’s face. He grazes his fingertips over a horn again, admiring them.

Hanzo says something in Japanese, too fast and mumbled for Jesse to comprehend. He rolls fully onto his side and presses his face against McCree’s shoulder.

They tangle their legs together and Jesse buries his nose in Hanzo’s hair knowing it won’t last.

And it doesn’t. When morning comes and Jesse wakes alone in the ruins, he knows some things are too good to be true. He doesn’t dwell on it. Instead, he dresses and packs his things and if he picks a long golden ribbon off the floor and ties it onto his belt then it’s unimportant.

Because he’s still got an adventure to finish, and good things never stay.

[tyrantisterror]

TT Blathers About Monster Hunter Stories

For thousands of years, people have come to my altar, desperately begging that I play Monster Hunter games, and for thousands of years I let my heart be hardened to their pleas.  Then this year Yaweh released the 11th plague: a Monster Hunter game that was also a Mons game, which is to say a game where you collect and raise various monsters to be your friends and allies, i.e. my favorite type of game ever conceived.  In that moment, I was doomed – I cannot resist a good Mons game, and god help me, this game was good.  I played the free demo four different times before the game finally came out, so thirsty I was to play it.  I had a fever, and the cure was Monster Hunter Stories.

From a story standpoint, it’s just kind of ok – fairly standard JRPG plot of saving the world from a vaguely supernatural ecological destruction, standard JRPG characters (Here’s your perky female childhood friend!  Here’s your angsty male childhood friend turned rival!  Here are the silly comedic villains!  Here’s the quirky sidekick!  Etc.), very formulaic across the board.  To its credit, the story DID manage to sell me on the whole setting of Monster Hunter in general – it helps that the titular hunters have a lot more sympathy for the titular monsters than you usually get in a “Heroes kill monsters” game, and that the storytelling really does want you to love these creatures even when you have to fight them. Still, it ain’t no Persona 4 by a long shot.  

But that’s fine, because the real appeal was raising all those lovely monsters, and oh, how fucking good that was.  Great gameplay goes a long way in this game, and while the story is by the numbers, the fights and monsters were ABOVE AND BEYOND.  Which is why I’ve decided to talk about EVERY SINGLE Monstie (i.e. catchable monster) in the game, even the ones I haven’t gotten to meet yet because Capcom hasn’t released their DLC yet.

So come with me as I spiral into madness and gush about some goddamn monsters.

Velocidrome (Goggle)

Redecos: Gendrome (Chopstix)

Goggle was the first monstie the game gave me, and as such has a special place in my heart even though he was quickly outclassed by everything around him.  A sweet, innocent creature, Goggle shepherded me around as I first discovered the world of Monster Hunter Stories.  His species is also a good introduction to the Caveman meets JRPG European Fantasy (with a dash of Sci-fi) aesthetics of the Monster Hunter games.  Like, yeah, on the surface he’s a dinosaur, but he’s also a brightly colored dragony dinosaur.  A dragonosaur.  Goggle is a treasure.

Later in the game you can get Gendromes, which are a slight retooling of the Velocidrome model.  I named mine Chopstix.

Aptonoth (Steakbone)

A big gnarly looking hadrosaur/ankylosaur hybrid, Aptonoths look far stronger than they actually are, being the rattatas of the Monster Hunter World.  There’s a lot of them, they go down in one hit, and after a point you just kind of avoid them because fighting them is mostly pointless.  And you know what, that’s fine.  I’m fine with letting these sweet creatures just wander and graze to their hearts’ content, safe from the attacks of my darling murder lizards.  Of course, sometimes the wild murder lizards eat them, but that’s just nature being a pre-programmed A.I. interacting with itself.

Steakbone was on my team for a long while because I had five open slots and not much to put them in.  She never saw combat.

Arzuros (Poobah)

A great big nasty bear, Poobah illustrates what I really came to love about Monster Hunter’s approach to monster design: almost everything in this world is part lizard.  Even the fuckin’ bears.  You look at this guy from a distance and think “That’s a bear,” but up close?  Up close to see all sorts of lizardy scales and other reptilian elements.  It’s a world of monsters where Lizard is the apex of evolution – like the Kanto region in Pokemon!  I love it. I absolutely love it.

Poobah was a beefy boy and I brought him into battle a couple of times, but he was quickly overshadowed by…

Yian Kut-Ku (Skittle)

Redecos: Blue Yian Kut-Ku (Sherbet)

Skittle and Sherbet are beautiful creatures of grace and goofiness, their bright colors reminding you of the radical 1990’s.  They look the way Capri Sun tastes.  Both were heavy hitters early in my game, quickly illustrating how poor Goggle would have a hard time later on when all their stats exceeded his while they were only half his level.  Sherbet in particular stuck on my team a long time, and I regard her quite fondly for the fights she put up in the hellish snow-encrusted hills before I finally got that de-frosting perfume or whatever the fuck it is you need to keep from freezing on that map.

Popo (Mutton)

Popos look like a sentient hairwad chewing on a wishbone.  So, y’know, pretty good for the Bidoofs of Monster Hunter.

Lagombi (Harvey)

You’re basically forced to have this fucking rabbit bear for the snow map, because he’s the only species you can get that can break rocks and is also involved in a cut scene that shows you how gene hybridization works.  It’s a goofy ass thing and one of the few monsters that doesn’t have much lizard in it, so points for fun and variety.  Harvey wasn’t my favorite and, unlike the movie/play character for whom he was named, didn’t really endear me to him as the game went on, but he is a giant rabbit with, like, a beak or something, so there’s that for you.

Bulldrome (Hamhock)

There’s some good bacon on this critter.  Mmm hmm.

Zamtrios (Belushi)

A giant shark-frog that can suddenly expand to the delight of fetishists everywhere, I felt there was no better name for this lovely creature than that of beloved 1980’s comedian John Belushi.  Belushi stuck around on my team for a while, and while he didn’t accomplish a lot during that time, I could always depend on him in a pinch if my stronger monsters got too roughed up.  His hopping animation was really fun despite being the opposite of helpful from a gameplay perspective.

Khezu (Akroyd)

Redecos: Red Khezu (Snausage)

These guys have to get the people who want nontraditional dragons, like, rock hard, right?  Giant phallus headed lamprey wyverns?  That’s what people like these days, right?  I like these guys just fine.  Akroyd was my stone wall for a while, having great HP and defense that allowed him to weather the nastiest of shit relatively unscathed. Snausage never quite came into his own, but to be fair, did he need to?  His name is SNAUSAGE.  Sometimes that’s all you need.

Apceros (Turtz)

I’m sincerely disappointed these guys weren’t viable fighters, because an ankylosaurus/turtle hybrid is a badass concept, and this design is a badass execution of it.  I would have been really tempted to use Turtz for the whole game if he didn’t have the survivability of a wet paper towel.

Royal Ludroth (Spengbab)

Redecos: Purple Ludroth (Koolaid)

I love most of the Ludroth family’s design, but that spongey neck just looks infected.  Every time I look at them I worry about whether or not I should take them to a clinic.  There’s gotta be, like, pus and shit in there, right?  Oh god.  Oh my poor sick lizards.  Oh no.

Gypceros (Plunger)

Redecos: Purple Gypceros (Grapekun)

Y’know, much has been made of the phallic nature of Khezu’s head/neck, but I honestly feel the horrible fleshy ovipositors on these guys is way more obscene.  They’re pretty fun monsters in their own right.  Not my favorite – they don’t hit my aesthetic sweet spots like some of the other monsters do – but they bring a wonderful variety to things.  However they’re also cheating fucks who use poison and blindness like cowards, and for that I bear a grudge.

Nerscylla (Vriska)

Redecos: Shrouded Nerscylla (Frosti)

I love these spiders and their adorable blankets.  I was sorely tempted to keep Vriska on my team, benching her only because she started getting roughed up too much about 2/3rds of the way through the game.  Not only does she have a lovely and endearing design, but her ability to put fuckers to sleep was so useful.  She and Frosti knit sweaters in my monster stables and regale the young monsters with stories of daring do.

Qurupeco (Honker)

Redecos: Crimson Qurupeco (Barry)

If you distilled the essence of, like, EVERY weird ass bird – not all birds, just the weird ass ones like toucans and pelicans and shit – and then mixed it with a wyvern, you’d get these guys.  They’re goofy as shit and really endearing even if they make battles take way longer than necessary by calling in reinforcements.  Plus Honker helped me get one of my best monsties in the end, so he’s alright.  You’re alright Honker.

Rathian (Clarent)

Redecos: Pink Rathian (Hrunting), Gold Rathian (Caliburn)

So early in the game, you escape the dreaded Ice Hell Wasteland Snow Zone into a beautiful green path of serene trees and flowers.  Sleeping on that path, surrounded by harmless Aptonoths, is a Sharkleberry Fin-pink ass dragon.  And deep down you know this is a trap.  It’s fucking sleeping.  You have to choose to fight it.  The game is setting you up.

“Fuck it,” you say, “I saved recently.  Let’s poke the bear.”

These fuckers were Monster Hunter Stories’ first taste of power, the first monster to make you realize that you are a puny ape made of meat and bone in a land of prehistoric dragonosauruses that would love to eat your goddamn guts.  God I love this heinous she-dragon, this haw-nosed viper-faced scorpion-tailed flying allosaurus. The game foreshadows pretty heavily that you’ll get one of your own at, like, the VERY beginning, so I didn’t bother putting Hrunting (my pink Rathian – I didn’t find the normal one until much later) on my team when I got her.  I mean, I actually couldn’t because the game was like “Yeah you got this egg but uhhhhh you are NOT ready for this responsibility” my man, but even though I knew it’d be alright, I still felt a twinge of regret.  There aren’t enough spaces on my team for TWO Raths, but Rathians, please know that Silver medals are high honors.

Also I’ll probably level you up for funsies once all my other monsties get to level 100 while I wait for the DLC.

Barroth (Caramel)

Redecos: Jade Barroth (Marzipan)

Caramel was the first monster I got who would stay all the way to the end of the story mode, and likewise became the first monster I raised to level 99.  Even just focusing on aesthetics, Caramel is wonderful.  Her design has the bonkers creativity and personality of an Ultra Man monster, with her giant pipe organ head and pangolin dorsal scutes.  And she likes mud baths!  What a lovely creature.  Caramel’s full name is Salted Caramel, because her ice genes make her look a little frosted, and because she’s the experienced veteran on my core team of monsters.

Diablos (Moloch)

Redecos: Black Diablos (Asmodeus)

A triceratops/therapod/pterosaur/Satan hybrid, Diablos is pretty fucking rad, and while it took me forever to get one of their fucking eggs, I still seriously considered raising one for my endgame.  I ultimately didn’t, but this is another monster that kinda neatly summarizes the basic rules of Monster Hunter’s monster design: take dinosaur parts, cobble together a dragon, and voila, you’ve got a pretty standard MH monster.

Tigrex (Nublar)

Redecos: Brute Tigrex (Sorna), Molten Tigrex (Winston)

Look, at the end of the day, I’m a pretty boring person when it comes to my personal tastes.  I like hamburgers with just ketchup on them – anything more and you can’t focus on the meat.  So when I say that Tigrex is my favorite monster in the game, please, please understand that I’m aware how boring that makes me.  I mean, I get it – it’s JUST a dragon with a T.rex head. But… but that’s so cool!  And it’s such a nice dragon with SUCH a NICE T.rex head! And it has this adorable animation when it wins where it snaps its jaws twice like “YEAH FUCK YOU YOU WANNA GO AGAIN GUESS NOT FUCKER I’M A T.REX AND A DRAGON WHAT ARE YOU YOU AIN’T SHIT IS WHAT YOU ARE CHOMP CHOMP MOTHERFUCKER CHOMP CHOMPITY CHOMP!”

Anyway I raised the three different Tigrexes all to a high level and used them all substantially throughout the game because they’re beautiful and adorable and badass and just my favorite ok?  Yes I know it’s one of the least creative designs in the bunch but goooooooooddddd it just works for me ok it just works.

1000/10 would raise more would raise entire team of tigrexes try and fucking stop me I’ll do it I’ll goddamn do it just try to stop me CHOMP CHOMP motherfuckers

Iodrome (Nedry)

I did a lot of level grinding in the volcano, and discovered that some of my monsters could send these fuckers running at the sight of me just by roaring.  It was delightful.

Basarios (Pebble)

Redecos: Ruby Basarios (Poprox)

These burly fellows look like they’d be a lot tougher than they are.  I mean, they can endure a lot of punishment, but their fights were never hardfought – just long.  They’re pretty neat for giant rock dragons.

Gravios (Nugget)

Redecos: Black Gravios (Licorice)

A bit tougher than Basarios (and apparently related to them? ), I still have trouble telling these two apart most of the time.  They’re nice. Decent geodudes.

Uragaan (Roundboy)

Y’know, everyone remembers the Ghost with the Most and Lydia, but Otho brings a lot of comedy to Beetlejuice too.  Like, he’s even more inexplicable and weird than all the dead people in that movie.  Otho should be more fondly remembered.

Like Caramel, Roundboy has a really fun design that once again has a distinctly Ultra Man-ish feel to me.  He also looks sort of like a hairbrush, but, like, a terrible one where the tines are too fat to properly help your hair.  I like him.

Great Jaggi (Newman)

Redecos: Great Baggi (Elvis)

I feel like the game knew these two were basically a waste of time because there’s, like, no promotional renders for them at all.  It’s kind of a shame because they’ve got lovely wicked raptor designs, but yeah they’re basically like Velocidromes in that they’re kind of useless, but unlike velocidromes you don’t get them until a point in the game where there is ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT they will always be useless.  I feel bad for them.

Kecha Wacha (Seylmer)

Redeco: Ash Kecha Wacha (Vendor)

So… I’m not the only one who thinks this is the lovechild of Elmer and Seymore, right?  It wants to sell me sands and fruit.

Yian Garuga (Gothrox)

The goth cousin of the Yian Kut Kus, this creature manages to look kinda badass despite being derived from such goofy stock.  I can respect that.

Congala (Garbage)

Redecos: Emerald Congala (Dumpster)

From a design point, these punk rock hippo-gorillas are really cool, mixing a lot of disparate elements into a single creature.  On the other hand, every time I fought one they farted on me a lot, which did not endear me to them one bit.  I did not appreciate their south park humor.

Zinogre (Balto)

Redecos: Stygian Zinogre (Baskervill)

In recent Pokemon generations I’ve just been clinging to the few reptilian designs we get, no matter how far they are from y actual preferences for reptile monster designs, because more and more they are crowded out by goddamn mammals.  I imagine Zinogre here must be that for MH fans who also prefer mammal monsters to reptile ones – in a sea of lizards, here is a lizard that looks very much like a wolf!  It’s still a lizard though – like, it’s got a big long tail, and scales everywhere, and even a squatter stance than most mammals have – but dammit, it’s a wolf-ish lizard.

I think wolves are kinda neat, so if there had to be a super strong mammal-ish monster, they could do a lot worse than this one.

Nargacuga (Bagheera)

Redecos: Green Nargacuga (Swampcat)

Basically a panther dragon, Nargacuga is another strong more-mammal-y-than-normal monster from the later part of the game, and it’s a pretty fucking rad one.  It was hard not to have a grudge against them at first because of the, uh, opening cutscenes of the game, but since the game hammers in the idea that we can’t blame these wild animals for their actions, I grew to love my sweet panther dragons.  They’re frail as fuck though, so sadly I didn’t get much use out of them, but I love them nonetheless.

Rathalos (Ratha)

Redecos: Azure Rathalos (Durendal), Silver Rathalos (Excalibur)

Ok, so, you automatically get a Rathalos about halfway through the story, and the story really rides upon you making the Rathalos your favorite.  Which, in turn, kinda inspires a bit of rebelliousness on your part – especially when other monsters have been with you longer (Caramel) or endeared themselves to you more (Nublar/Sorna/Winston).  Also they don’t let you nickname your Rathalos yourself – your stuck with the shitty nickname one of the NPCs gave him instead. Ratha?  Ratha?  I know I could do better than that.

Like Rathian, Rathalos is a badass theropod bodied, scorpion tailed, hawk/viper faced wyvern, all of which gets blended seamlessly into a really unique and expressive design. This is basically the mascot monster of the series, right?  A good choice.  Definitely more creative than a simple dragon with a T.rex head.  A good choice.  I’m sure some might argue the better choice.

…

Anyway I love the various Rathaloses I’ve raised, and like Tigrexes I raised one of each subspecies up to pretty high levels.  They’re great monsters.  Probably in my top ten of the ones listed here.  Maybe even top five.  Just… just not my favorite.  I’m sorry Ratha, but you should have let me name you.

Lagiacrus (Ogopogo)

Redecos: Ivory Lagiacrus (Inverness)

It’s a crocodile… and a cobra… and a sea serpent… I love it.  I love this design.  Of all the monsters I planned to put on my team, I was most excited for Ogopogo here. Like, if I had to pick a favorite monster on design alone, it would be this guy.  Ogopogo struggled to make her mark in combat though, being kind of middle of the road – not super hard hitting, not super durable, just kind of alright everywhere.   She wasn’t as quirky as the others either.  I still love her though, and I’ve been toying with her genes to see if I can help her make her mark.  She’s probably just a late bloomer – it’ll be her time to shine soon, you’ll see.

Deviljho (Corncob)

I have heard tales of the Deviljho for as long as I have heard people telling me I should play Monster Hunter games – which is to say a long ass time.  Feared by all, the mighty deviljho is an unstoppable murder beast that arrives when you least expect it.

At least, that’s what the legends say.  In Monster Hunter Stories I had to seek out this son of a bitch.  SEVERAL TIMES.  Me and Honker spent an entire fucking night just farming these bastards, beating up Jho after Jho in a desperate attempt to get its precious egg.  Eventually our efforts bore fruit, and sweet Corncob was born.

A plucky, chunky pickle skinned child, Corncob worried me at first – she seemed frailer than my Tigrexes and didn’t hit as hard, and I feared she might have to be benched for her own sake.  After finishing story mode, though, she really came into her own.  With the help of some gene re-arranging and some level grinding, Corncob has become a juggernaut – beefier than Caramel and harder hitting than all save Winston the Molten Tigrex.  Corncob isn’t the average monster warrior – she has become the legend, the legend that you fear.  She is the legendary super monster – the Deviljho!

Anyway, Corncob may be my second favorite monstie.  She’s just the sweetest little murdersaurus.

Barioth (Varney)

Redecos: Sand Barioth (Carmilla)

The third mammal-ish reptile, Barioth looks pretty cool.  I mean, it’s a sabre tooth cat’s head on a standard MH style wyvern body, you can’t fuck that up really.  If MH didn’t offer so many other monsters that were far more lizard-y, I’d probably use it.  It’s right there in that later-gen Pokemon category of “I guess this will do” monster design.  If I were dying of thirst, Barioth, you would be my water in the desert.  But there’s fresh water aplenty here, soooooo yeah.

Brachydios (Bajablast)

Originally I had no intention of using Bajablast, since the design seemed a little overdone to me – like it was trying to hard to be EVEN MORE badass than other monsters.  But goddamn did Bajablast win me over!  Not only does she have the best kinship attack animation in the game, but she’s a durable, hard hitting worker – not the best fighter on my team, but a consistently reliable one.  After giving her water genes that complement her fire resistant nature, Bajablast is both a thirst quencher AND an explosive attacker – she truly does the Dew.

Kirin (Amalthea)

Redecos: Oroshi Kirin (Unreleased – no nickname chosen yet)

While on the outside Kirin looks like just a horse with a horn, on closer inspection you’ll find it also has a weird old man face, and that’s creepy in a fun way.  A perfectly acceptable horse monster.  Kirin is an “Elder Dragon,” which research tells me is MH code for “Boss Monster” or “Legendary Pokemon,” so I guess that’s why you have to wait until the postgame to get one.

Monoblos (Belphegor)

Redecos: White Monoblos (Unreleased – no nickname chosen yet)

Monoblos is like Diablos but with a less cool looking head.  So there’s that for you. It feels kind of underwhelming to get this guy in the postgame, to be honest – it’s just Diablos with a less cool head.  But it gives you something to do, and I’d rather wait for this than, say, sweet, dear Corncob.

Seregios (Pinecone)

Like Monoblos, this monster felt kind of underwhelming as a post-game critter – it’s another wyvern, neat – but at least it’s a cool and unique design, with its backwards scales and pissed off rooster face.  Sir Reggie O’s is ok in my book.

Great Poogie (Baconbit)

If you find 100 pigs in the game you get a really big pig that you can ride and it’s kind of a joke on you for working so hard to find a bunch of useless fucking pigs, but on the other hand you can ride on a pig and it’s hilarious.  Just… just imagining a person choosing to ride on a pig instead of dragons and bears and shit is hilarious.

Epona (un-nickname-able, but I would have called him Bojack)

There’s a DLC tournament you can fight in to get a fucking horse.  Just… just a horse.  Just a normal goddamn horse.  You don’t even get to name the horse because fuckin’ Zelda beat you to it.  Excuse me, princess, I wanted to name this horse off an alcoholic sitcom star with clinical depression!  Fuckin’ dream killing horse.

THE UNRELEASED DLC MONSTERS

Rajang (Unreleased – thinkin’ of calling it Vegeta)                    

Every time I’ve fought one of these apes has been a fuckin’ nightmare. I am terrified of them.  I am scared of these goddamn dirty pawed apes.   I want to raise one just so I can get over my fear.

Kushala Daora (Unreleased – no nickname chosen yet)

The closest the game comes to, like, the iconic European dragon – I mean, let’s be honest, if you think “Dragon,” you think “lizard with four legs and two wings”, right?  If we’re being honest here?  Right?

Oddly, I’m less enthused by this guy than I felt I would be.  It actually makes me understand where all the “reptilian dragons are boring!” people are coming from.  It could use just a bit more weirdness.

Teostra (Unreleased – no nickname chosen yet)

So here’s a dragon that is also a lion.  Neat.

Glavenus (Unreleased, but will be named Razzlberri)

Every week I hope and pray that the game gets the DLC that lets me have my sweet, dear, beautiful Razzlberri.  As of this writing, my prayers remain unanswered.

TT’s Top Ten Favorite Monsties So Far (in no particular order)

Nublar/Sorna/Winston (Tigrex and its variants)

Corncob (Deviljho)

Caramel (Barroth and its variants)

Ogopogo (Lagiacrus and its variants)

Bajablast (Brachydios)

Ratha/Durendal/Excalibur (Rathalos and its variants)

Clarent/Hrunting/Caliburn (Rathian and its variants)

Razzlberri (Glavenus - yeah I know it hasn’t been released yet but look at it)

Vriska/Frosti (Nerscylla and its variants

Moloch/Asmodeus (Diablos and its variants)

[nukaworld]

get to know me(me)

Tagged by: @winecupwars & @dragonie (thank you friends!!!)

Nickname: I don’t have one people just call me Maria 

Zodiac: Gemini

Height: About 5′1?

Last thing googled: lmao googled cm to feet fjsfhbfsefb

Favourite artists: Nightwish keeps that edgy 13 year old alive in me 

Song stuck in my head: Ugh the songs from that Dreamworks horse movie, so thats a whole lotta Bryan Adams songs 

Last movie I watched: "Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron” since nostalgia is a powerful thing and I based my courier on the main (horse) character. 

Wearing right now: edgy black pjs and a oversized pink sweater because I am weak and its cold in May 

Why I chose my URL: its from that “if you don’t support the institoot he will instishoot” post about X6 but then again this is just a Fallout/personal blog so the URL wasn’t that much of an emotion driven choice

What my last relationship taught me: don’t date people you don’t like just because you are scared to reject them in fear that you won’t find anyone better

Any other blogs? yes @skymagpie my main, @jindouche my dishonored blog and @beastqueenart my art blog. also a lot of dead rp blogs that still exist in the void 

Spiritual? really depends, more like traditionally spiritual 

Favourite colour: blue

Hours of sleep: 4-6 depending on the day

Lucky number: 6 and 8 

Favourite characters: ugh, too many - Viktor (league of legends), Ulysses, Preston, X6, Veronica, Christine, Benny, Nick Valentine (fallout), Emily, Meagan Corvo, Jindosh ( dishonored 1&2) Morrigan, Alistair, Isabela, Merrill, Vivienne, Dorian, Josephine (dragon age), probably shit ton of others from like books and shows idk 

Dream job: swamp witch or forest witch, depending on what position will be hiring at the moment

Tagging: whoever wants to do this really, I get anxious tagging people