#drawing all those bodies...the armor...AAH

[ochi-does-art]

same heart same blood

@coline7373

[jokerfan99]

Firewoman Cometh (RWBY/RVB) by Necroceph

*RVB Opening Theme*

D82-EST Darter dropship, en course to [REDACTED]

The left thrusters are on fire! The pilot's not sure know how long this heap of junk can stay in the air and there is no way in hell this thing will land on the rocky terrain below without having large chunks of rock piercing into the interior.

Pilot: MAYDAY! MAYDAY! Command do you copy, over?

TZZT

Vic: Heyhey, Command here. How's it going, dude, you doing fine? I'm doing fine too! Now what the hell you want? Pilot: What? NO! Everything's not fine! Listen I can't explain much! I'm loosing control over my ship here and I can't risk landing on rough terrain! Are there any safe places to land on, over? Vic: Whoo sounds like you're in a tight situation. Alright let me read your coordinates and I'll see if there are any soft spots for you to land on. Pilot:... Vic:... Pilot: Hello? Vic: Okay I got one for you, there's a wide box canyon with a Red Outpost near ya. Hope ya don't mind staying too close to enemy lines. Pilot: As long as I don't get blown to smithereens that's fine! Thanks for the help Com- what the? NononoNONONO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

TZZT

Vic: Hello? Helloooooooooo? Hmm must've blown up already. Well that ain't my problem.

2005 Hours at the Red Base

Another nightly sentry duty and it's Ruby and Donut's turn tonight. It's much darker tonight compared to the other nights, as the clouds above are blocking a single ray of light from the stars and the moon. Blood Gulch is now covered in a mist of blackness and night vision won't do shit in it. And much to Ruby's dismay, this looks like a perfect opportunity for the Blue team to sneaking within the darkness.

HISS

Ruby: GAH! Oh...

Phew, she thought. It was just Donut opening a can of BLAST. That almost sounded like a plasma grenade.

Donut: You thirsty? Ruby: No thanks. My tongue isn't suited for carbonated drinks. Donut: Suit yourself. Say you've been jumpy tonight. Ruby: No it's just that seeing how dark it is right now, my instincts are telling me that the Blues might attack us anytime in this darkness. Donut: Oh don't be so worried. They've tried it once but...

Two years ago.

Caboose: OW MY TAILBONE! Church: TUCKER, IT'S US! Stop poking our asses will you! Tucker: How the fuck am I suppose to see you? This sword doesn't have a brightness setting in it! Kaikaina: Is somebody grabbing my orbs? Caboose: Sorry taught those were the grenades. Kaikaina: GRAB HARDER!

Present

Donut:... it didn't go according to plan. Ruby: Perhaps not this time Donut: How so? Ruby: I learned this technique back home about navigating through the dark without the use night vision. And the problem is Weiss knows the trade too. And since Weiss is with them, she'll help the Blues will easily navigate through it. Donut: Aww crap. Let's hope they don't attack tonight. Ruby: Me too but still it would be nice to see something if it weren't so dark right now! Donut: Well at least the sun's coming up. Ruby: The sun? But it's 8 'o clock. The sun's not coming up in another eleven hours. Donut: Then what's that bright light coming behind the canyon?

Ruby turned to the natural walls of the canyon. A bright orange glow can be seen behind the canyon, growing larger and larger until thousand of pieces of rock gets shattered when a ship out of nowhere breaks through the rock. And it's heading STRAIGHT FOR THE RED BASE!!!

Donut: SON OF A BITCH! Ruby: SON OF A WITCH!

Ruby and Donut quickly ducked onto the concrete floor as the flaming ship flies right pass above their heads, crashing into the dirt behind the base. That was a close one! The attention of the crash attracted the rest of the Red team to check what the hell's happening out there.

Grif: Aww are we being attacked? I haven't started my nightly snack binge. Sarge: Looks that way. Lopez, time to use the white phosphorus. Lopez: No tenemos fósforo blanco. Sarge: Alright now where are those Bluetards? Ruby: Uhm... it's not Blues you should be worried.

Ruby pointed the team at the crashed fiery vessel behind them and boy look at that metal burn.

Sarge: Crazy rodeo on a bomb. It's a ship! The Blues must've shot down! Ruby: No it was already on fire before it arrived. Simmons: Where the hell did it come from?! Donut: It just appeared out of nowhere. Good thing it didn't land on top of us. Ruby: Come on, let's see if anyone's still alive.

On the Blue Base

Wonder what's burning over there? Must be another of Sarge's explosive testing.

Tucker: Should we check that out? Church: Nah. Let's go back to sleep.

The Flaming Dropship

The entire ship's on fire! The flames grows bigger and bigger every second, growing as far to about twice the size large as the Red Base. All the Reds do is watch those flames melt that metal.

Grif: So... anyone wanna put it out? Simmons: Grif, this fire's enormous, we can't put it out ourselves! Grif: You have a better idea then? I have one, how about we watch the scenery in front of us while we roast some marshmellows with this heat. Donut: Ooh I 'll get the crackers and chocolate so we can make smores. Ruby: Hello, is anybody alive in there, not cooked into crisps?

No response.

Sarge: I think they're dead. Ruby: Or probably they've got out of there before it crashed. Say, did anybody said smores? Sarge: Simmons can you identify the ship? Simmons: Two thrusters on both sides, atmospheric and exoatmospheric capability. I'm guessing it's D82-EST Darter, Sir. But I can't tell if it belongs to Red or Blue. The black box inside should tell us everything once the fire's out. I'm guessing maybe... three four hours. Sarge: Three four hours?! That'll take too long! Lopez, get in there and retrieve the box. Lopez: Sí señor.

Lopez runs into the blazing inferno.

Simmons: Wait a second, Lopez isn't designed to be fireproof! Ruby: Oh don't worry he's a robot. I'm sure he'll be alright... I think. Sarge: Shush you two! Do you hear that? Grif: All I hear is my marshmellows roasting. Sarge: Not that you, numbnuts, I mean do you hear that banging?

Everyone kept quiet. Aside from the crackling of the flames and the screeching of metal, banging can be heard from inside the ship.

Ruby: It could be, Lopez trying to get inside. Simmon: I don't think it's Lopez. Sounds like it's coming from inside the left side of the ship.

The Reds ran to the source of the sound at the side. The sound of banging can be heard behind the hull and it's too light to be made by Lopez. The banging lasted about ten seconds until it stops, before being followed by the sound of mulitple beepings similar to that of a watch.

Donut: Who's watch is beeping? Grif: Watch? We don't have a watch... oh crap. Ruby: RUN!

BOOM

Everyone leg's it for their lives! The hull explodes. The shockwave of the blast pushed everyone to the ground. All that's left was a hole revealing the flaming interior of the ship. Then the silhoutte of a man can be seen behind the fires. Sarge is quick enough to get up and draw his weapon at the figure. Could be a dirty Blue behind, he thought.

Sarge: Come out and put your hands in the air, Bluetard!

The figure emerges and reveals himself to be... a girl?! Well that's easy to recognize thanks to that long blonde hair sticking out behind her helmet.

???: 'Sup! Ruby: A survivor! Wait... Simmons: *cough!* WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! YOU ALMOST KILLED US! Grif: YEAH! YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST KILLED SARGE! ???: Sorry, there was no available escape route so I had to make one myself. I've been through a lot of rough rides over the years but that ship won't be my last I can tell you that. Sarge: But it will be, dirtbag unless you start talking! Now tell us who you are or we'll shoot our bullets between your... your... uh... Simmons: You better do what he says 'cause he's not an easy... man to... negotiate... Grif: Hey guys what's up with you... holy shit.

Sarge, Grif and Simmons couldn't say a word once their eyes are caught in a hypnotic sight. The soldier's body is, shall we say, voluptuous but what caught their attention the most are the lack of a plates on her chest armor, revealing the cleavage of two large visible orbs of beauty.

Sarge: I've seen military heaven already. ???: What? Sarge: Hurk! What? Uh, I mean... identify yourself or we'll shoot you between the bo... EYES! Get a hold of yourself, Sarge!

Sarge noticed his men are under the trance. He smacks one of them to wake em up, Grif first.

Sarge: Wake up you two! Grif: OW! What the hell man? Simmons: Oh... uh, yeah what Sarge said! Put down your weapon and identify yourself! ???: Whoa whoa whoa, now hold up guys. I've made a brush with death and you guys are seriously pointing your guns at me after what I've been through? Talk about overparanoia. Look why not point those things elsewhere and we'll chill out, alright? Ruby: My God, it really is... HI YANG!

The soldier turns to Ruby, recognizing her the moment she sees the red cape.

???: Oh hey, sis! I didn't know they transfered you here. Everybody: SIS?! ???: Yeah, we get that's a lot. I'm Yang, Ruby's older sister. Donut: And I thought Grif's the only one with a sibling here. Grif: Hey! Sarge: My God, I always knew there would be a Rose No.2. And I'm guessing you also have the same genetic tendency to destroy anyone and anything who steals your weapon. Simmons: Plus she also brought two extra grenades with her. Sarge: What was that? Simmons: Nothing! Ruby: Yang are you alright, did you break any bones or any internal haemorrhages? Yang: Woah calm down, I'll be fine. Also do you have any drinks here... cause... I think... I lost forty percent... of water in me.

Yang faints onto the ground with a big thud on the ground.

Ruby: YANG! Donut: What a weenie.

In the Mess Hall

Yang: SIIIIIIIIP! AAH that hit's the spot. Man being in that ship is like being roasted in a microwave. SIIIIIIIIP, AAAAAAaaaaahhh!

Wow that must've been hot in that ship. She throws the empty can behind her with the rest of the pile of empty BLASTS. That was the sixtieth can she dranked and her bladder hadn't exploded yet. Wow!

Yang: Now that... was a blast. Eh? Get it? Am I right?

Cricket chirping nearby

Grif: Does she always does like that? Ruby: Sigh... yeah. Yang: Got another can? Donut: Lady, you just finished our entire stash of it. Simmons: She dranked the whole crate?! Sarge: Damn there goes our victory drinks for this year's Grifball tournament. Grif: So let me get this straight. You have a sister and she joined the Red Army too? Ruby: Yeah. Too bad we were transfered separately to different outposts but at least I'm happy that she's here right now. Yang: Me too, Rubes. Good to see you're still kicking. Ruby: Hey I can manage myself. By the way, what were you doing in that ship? Weren't suppose to be stationed at High Ground? Yang: I was until Command assigned me yesterday to do this escort mission by sending supplies to friendly bases. Not my forte but at least it I'm glad to be away from my team for a while. Ruby: What's wrong with your team? Yang: You do not want to know. Simmons: Then how did the ship crashed in the first place? Yang: Well I'm glad you ask. THE BLUES FUCKING SHOT US!

Yang's sudden outburst took everyone, besides Ruby, by surprised.

Ruby: Language! Yang: Sorry. While we were on the way to another outpost, a Blue patrol spotted us from below and shot us with a rocket launcher, though I got to hand it to them that was a good shot. Everyone on board started parachuting out the ship until I was left last. But just when I was about to get out of there, that goddamn pilot took the last chute for himself! What a jerk! Sarge: Oh I know that feeling. Yang: So I was left to no choice but to commandeer the ship myself and find a safe place to crash. Thankfully I came across this place. Ruby: You flew the ship? I thought you don't take aerial training. Yang: Yeah that's right, but what else am I suppose to do, embrace my destiny? Pfft, yeah right! Sarge: Then how did you flew it? Yang: Well all I did was... sit down and... press possibly important buttons here and there, almost turned the ship off... and I stroke the joystick randomly to keep the ship in the air. Everyone:... Yang: And... I also used my intuition? Sarge: That doesn't even make a lick of sense. Ruby: Who cares? I'm glad to see that she's alive. Yang: It was nothin'. There ain't no way a crashed spaceship can bring this baby down easily. Anyways I should call Command to pick me up but first... YAAAAWWNN... I need to take get some shut eye. Got a room to spare here? Grif: You can have my bed... unless you don't mind sharing with me. Simmons: Don't take him, he's place is inhospitable. Take mine, it's 99% germ free. Ruby: What's up with you two? You're both acting strange ever since...

The thought came to Ruby when she noticed they are ignoring her and facing their visors to Yang, trapped by her hypnotic appearance.

Ruby: Oh crud. Yang: Hehe oh my, looks like those two have noticed my charm! Ruby: Yang, please dont... Yang: Come on, Rubes even you had to get men come to you. Ruby: Dad and Uncle Qrow would approve that! Sarge: IF YOU TWO GOT HARD ONS BENEATH YOUR SPACE DIAPERS, I'LL KICK YOUR BALLS PERSONALLY! Starting with Grif with a spike shoe. Simmons: WHAT?! Nonono i-it's not what it looks like! Take Grif, he's got a hard on! Grif: Fuck you, Simmons! I saw your crotch moved slightly foward. Simmons: T-that's just a random body movement! Donut: Ms. Rose, I don't want to say this but why is your chest armor designed like that? Sarge: And a violation of J0-HN-117. Donut: Yeah that too. Yang: Hehe, funny story. They did provided me with the standard issued armor buuuuutt I couldn't fit any of them thanks to these big ol' babies. So they had to make a few arrangements like what you see right now. Oh and first off, my last name isn't Rose, it's Xiao Long. Yang Xiao Long. Donut: You married?

Ruby is pretty annoyed of the situation right now. This conversation is getting out of nowhere.

Ruby: STOP IT! Yang has just survived a crash and is seriously in need of rest! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll take her to her room Yang: Come on, give me a few minutes with your team, I'm starting to like them. Ruby: RIGHT... NOW. Yang: Alright. I thought I'm suppose to be to older sister here. Hey how about show me the place first.

As the sisters leave, Grif and Simmons follow suit, still hypnotized by Yang's charm.

Simmons: Wait for me, I have excellent knowledge of this facility! Grif: Up yours, Simmons, I saw her first! Hey babe I got a Warthog in the garage! Simmons: Not till I show her my modified SPNKR first! Sarge: Good golly Miss Molly, either Command chose her body as a walking biological weapon for the Blues or an effective dog bone for those morons. Donut: I'm guessing both.

Not long after those four left, Lopez, who's body is entirely covered in ashes, enters the room with a massive box in his hands.

Lopez: He recuperado la caja negra y necesito reparaciones extensas. Sarge: Aha, the black box! Excellent work, Lopez. Donut, get Simmons, we need him to extract this thing right now. Lopez: También puedo extraer los datos. Donut: But didn't, Yang already told us everything that happened? Sarge: You can't always rely on the survivor's point of view without seeing the bigger picture. That's how I expose my Commander back when I was in the ODST. Heh, I still remember that face of his. It was glorified PRICELESS!

But unbeknownst to Sarge, Donut and Lopez, Yang stands beside the doorway overhearing their conversation.

Ruby: Hey Yang, are you coming or what? Yang: Be right there!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/necroceph

[starsmuserainbow]

@mechanicosmia replied here:

// ok 1) big same tbh, perfectionism ‘til the cows come home. or i keel over and pass out; whichever comes first and 2) that looks so good dasdhaskdhasdas dude i love it; good work

Right? it’s kinda both a curse and a blessing, I guess - it does make one work on something longer, which should mean the result is better/more defined or detailed or whatever, but at the same time it’s just so annoying to not be able to move on despite the thing already being okay-ish enough! Oh yes! And if you do manage to leave before satisfying your perfectionism (for whatever reason), it just keeps haunting you that you could have done more or have to return to it or whatever - that is “totally wonderful” too especially when trying to sleep xD

Also aah thanks! These compliments I get for the editing actually make me really consider to put in the extra effort to make him wear the armor... but then I’ll have to go back and work through the episodes I already finished too, so... or I leave those I have finished as they are and only make the new ones with his armor? Should still be enough coming after all - but there are still so many I need to do and it’ll take forever as is, with editing the armor on it will take even longer - maybe only edit it on when he’s in profile view, as in not full-body? Hhh, I’ll have to think about it... thanks for the compliment though!

Also yeah, if only I could draw as nicely as I seemingly can edit, I’d save myself all the editing then and just make my own icons for him xD

[argonas]

A Hollow Homecoming

Bloodmyst Isle hadn’t changed a bit. It provided a hollow comfort; what the debris of the Exodar had done to the wildlife was regrettable, and yet seeing it so unchanged, just as he remembered it… it felt like home again. His steps were heavy, despite casting aside his plate armor. Calloused hands had let go of his hammer long ago - instead, a simple spear would suffice. Not for fighting in any war, or vanquishing any in the name of Light’s justice. Those days were behind him. No, this spear was a utility, a means to survive. That’s all he could hope for now.

His makeshift tent was pathetic, but suitable enough to keep out the elements. A crate of supplies he’d carried out and set aside remained sealed beside the sorry structure. Unopened, for now. He pulled back his hood, as he looked over the red-stained waters of a nearby river. His crest was cracked, tendrils missing. Face marred by the scarring of a thousand cuts, both big and small. Eyes aglow, but full of sorrow. Regret. Guilt. It was these eyes that looked over the secluded area that would be his new home, for as long as he remained alive. Separated from a love who had died in his arms.

Argonas was home, at last.

The pain was indescribable, but Sinafay endured, knowing it was only for a short moment longer. Soon, there would be no more pain. Leaning in and closing her eyes, she rested her forehead against Argonas’ crest. By now, bright green lacerations had formed over her skin.

“Ready, my Love?” she managed to say, “The Light… it is waiting… yes?” Weakly, Argonas brought his hand up to cup Sinafay’s face. For all the pain coursing through him, he managed a smile. “It is - the Light is waiting, my Beloved.” he said, weakly. “Take us there; where we will be free.” As the enemy footsteps entered the chamber, Sinafay wrapped her arms tightly around Argonas and detonated a fire spell, causing an explosion that completely devastated everything around them.

Argonas closed his eyes. He felt all the pain leave his body, in that moment. The intense heat of the fel runes carved into his skin had all gone away. Burns across his body, too, were soothed entirely. Was this death? So peaceful, so comfortable following the agony he and his beloved Sinafay had endured. He felt a warmth, a sensation he had not felt in a long, long time - the Light was with him! He could feel its blessed holiness wash over him, cleansing away his wounds as it began to take him away to join with it

He thought, anyway.

His eyes opened, as he beheld the horrific scene still unfolding all around him, seeming to play out in slow motion. He saw the fires consume everything - the demons, the enemies, the structure itself shattered from the force. He looked at Sinafay, his beloved, as he held her in his arms. She, too, began to break apart from the fiery inferno her detonation spell had caused. Her eyes had closed as well, as she embraced him - her expression one of peace, despite the destruction all around her. She was comforted by this death, gladly giving her life to destroy the Legion. Her body disintegrated before him, the fires consuming it entirely.

And yet he remained.

The glimmer of the Light’s protection reflected off of his body. He gasped, recognizing what had happened. Sinafay’s siphon removed his corruption, drawing it into herself to fuel the destructive detonation. The Light had returned to him once more, for the first time in months! Over a year! It protected him, sealing him away in a barrier to save him from death. This… this wasn’t what he wanted! He was to die alongside Sinafay, his beloved! Instead, the resurgence of the Light’s glory into him had instinctively preserved him! He had no time to protest, no further moment to ponder. The eruption threw his Light-shielded form from the tower, blasting him off with the explosion Sinafay had caused.

The tower burst, blasting felsteel and blazing flames in all directions as it crumbled. The blast was enormous, covering the entirety of the sky with hellish fire. Argonas was but a fragment of the debris, preserved by the Light as he catapulted off into the distance. He slammed into a cliff facing, before falling down to the ground beneath it. The Light’s protection faded as he passed out from the sheer force of impact into the ground. He laid out, motionless. Intact. Alive.

The Lightforged had found him some days later, and returned him to the Vindicaar. He spent the final days of the Argus campaign unconscious, bed-ridden, recovering. After their final flight home, he awoke in the Exodar. The Anchorites told him what had happened… he couldn’t believe it. The Legion defeated, His Light returned… Sinafay killed… but he had lived.

It was a lot… too much… He needed time to sort it out. To grieve. To decide what it meant that he survived when his beloved had died. He gathered simple supplies and headed north to Bloodmyst Isle to seek solitude to figure it all out.

His camp needed work. He knew that. But first, he needed to rest for a moment. He looked over the red water, discolored so by the Warp Core’s radiation. It didn’t look good… he had to check it, first. He knelt down, and scooped up some of the water into his waterskin. He gave it a tentative sniff… and grimaced. No, it wouldn’t do at all. He poured it back out.

“Are you lost, friend?” came a voice from behind him.

He turned to see another Draenei. A woman, in rather primitive attire. Argonas eyed her over, cautiously.

“You are a long ways away from civilization.” she pressed her question, looking him over in a similarly-cautious fashion.

“Yes… that is the idea.” he cleared his throat. “I did not think anyone else would live out here, but… you do, I presume? This is your, aah… your home?”

The woman moved in closer, though kept a fair distance as she continued to appraise him. He remained still, save his tail, which flickered to and fro with a hint of nervousness. She was a Draenei, surely. But what manner of Draenei would live out here? Her attire suggested she was a naturalist of some kind - not a whole lot of her was covered up. Was she some kind of outcast?

"I take no claim to the land. But I live on this isle, yes. Attempting to restore balance." replied, before casting her eyes to the water, "A losing battle, that."

Argonas nodded, relaxing visibly. That made sense - she was a shaman, here to help restore the land. Sinafay had told him some elementalists wandered the Isles for that purpose. This woman must have been one of them.

“I see.” he replied, offering a weak smile. “Well... I am not here to intrude, or hinder your work. I am just looking for a new place to live. Away from others…”

“You seek isolation?” she asked.

"I do, yes. I... recently returned from Argus." he sighed, shifting; tail flickering as his eyes cast down. "I lost my Love, there. I... "

He trailed off… the memory still too fresh in his mind. He drew in a measured breath as he tried to keep his emotions in check.

“I see... My condolences.” the woman replied, offering a sympathetic nod. “Nature does have a way of soothing the soul of the suffering. I am a bit of a hermit myself, so I will not attempt to make contact again if you do not wish it.“

“I... think that would be best. I am sorry, I know that may sound rude, but…” Argonas shook his head. “I do not feel like interacting with others.”

The woman gave him a bit of a smile at that. "It is not rude. I live out here because I do not enjoy being around other people for to long. I mostly reside on the other side of the isle, so I will not be bothering you. However, if you do need help out here, do not hesitate to seek me out for aid. My name is Mierne."

“Light's blessings upon you, Mierne. I am Argonas.” he bowed his head in a polite salute.

Mierne looked at the river again, then at the makeshift camp. "I would not drink that water. A rain filtration system would be best."

Argonas’ gaze followed hers, back to the corrupted water.

"--Aah, yes, I suppose it would. I will manage, thank you." he nodded. “I only hope I do not disturb you, yes? If I do, please let me know. You are here doing productive work. I am only here to... brood.”

"I will tell no one of your presence here, Argonas.” Mierne nodded in response. “Stay as long as you need to."

With that, Mierne shifted into a ghostly wolf form. She ran off, without another word! Argonas blinked, barely having time to respond.

"--Aah, thank you!" he quickly shouted as Mierne took off. "Khrona... kai..."

He offered a wave... and a frown as she disappeared into the treeline. With a sigh, he got back to work setting up his camp. He wasn’t as alone as he had hoped, but… if Mierne was a hermit as well, she’d likely leave him be. Good enough. He cracked open the crate, and began settling into his new home. For how long, he couldn’t say. But for whatever it meant, whatever it was worth… he was back.

(( @kidcatgemini / @sinafay1 ))

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

happy birthday lydia @heedra surname

"And that should be the last one," Phoenix said, setting down the bag on the floor. "Get that in the cooler, don't want it to go bad. I'll be back tomorrow to start grilling." He clapped Des on the back, and she stumbled slightly under the force of the blow. "We're gonna have the best grill-up this side of Great Forks. Get some meat on your bones."

The "meat" Phoenix was referring to sat scattered around the Sanctuary, in bags on the ground and the table. Seal was ferrying bags into the kitchen, normally Harv's territory but lent to the greater cause for the span of a night. The greater cause, in this instance, was the cookout Phoenix intended to host for the Sanctuary's regular residents. Everyone was invited, and the Solar had made it clear to everyone who didn't have apocalyptically pressing business that attendance was not optional. As a result the Sanctuary was near empty, with all the Deathknaves trying to sort their affairs out before tomorrow. Only Seal, Des and Star remained in the Sanctuary, as well as Hours who had been snoring on the nap sofa for the past fourteen hours. Phoenix had therefore left the Shitheads in charge of preparing for the next day.

Star saluted. "You can count on ush, Mishter Phoenixsh," he said eagerly. Privately, Des thought that the responsibility might be going to his head a little bit. "It'sh gonna be great!"

Phoenix high-fived him and opened the Sanctuary door onto a misty river, whistling as he left. The door fell closed behind him and Seal stuck his head out of the kitchen. "So are you fuckers gonna actually help or just jack yourselves off all night?" he asked. Star made an offended noise, though Des didn't know if it was at the lewd comment or the idea that he might be irresponsible, and immediately hoisted multiple bags in each hand.

"Uh, Star," Des said slowly. "Maybe be careful with those."

"Why?" Star asked, marching towards the kitchen. "You jealoush of my muschles? My shick puppiesh?" He tried to flex, but couldn't lift the bags much higher, so settled for sort of tensing his biceps in Seal's vague direction.

"No," Des said, ignoring Seal's sudden coughing fit. "Because there's a baby in that bag."

Star nearly dropped all the bags he was holding, but recovered at the last second. He peered under his arm to one of the bags where a tiny head had popped out and was looking around the room with an expression like a cat who just broke into a creamery.

"Oh, schit," Star said.

+++

The three of them sat in a circle around the baby -- not a baby, a kid, who could walk and talk and get into bags -- and thought about how fucked they were.

"We are so, so, so profoundly fucked," Seal said. "Sho incredibly fucking fucked," Star agreed. "Phoenixsh ish gonna kill ush."

Des shhed them loudly. "Don't swear in front of the kid," she said, then turned back to the phone she was holding. "Hang on, hang on. Shadow? Hello? Are you there?"

"I'm here," Shadow's voice said from the receiver of the rotary phone on Des' lap. "This had better be good."

"Oh, it's good," Des said. "I mean, it's bad. Um, hypothetically."

"Get on with it," Shadow snapped. There was a sudden crackle in the background, though it died down quickly. "I'm in the middle of work."

"Um, hypothetically, we uh maybe foundababyintheSanctuarywhatdowedo?" Des rushed, hoping Shadow would be too distracted to fully hear her.

It didn't work. "You what? Who? How?" Shadow demanded, and Des quailed a little. She wondered distantly if he could use his Evil Eye through the telephone.

Seal leaned over. "It's not our fucking fault," he shouted to Shadow. "Pho left her here and now we can't get hold of him. I think he's in fucking Halta or something."

Des could practically imagine Shadow rubbing his temples. "Danaa'd take you, I'm on top of a mountain right now. I can't get back until tomorrow. I knew this was a mistake."

"One of many!" a voice cawed, much closer to the phone. "Shut up, Valravn," Shadow snapped again. "Whatever. Alright. You're just going to have to take care of her for a while. I know!" he shouted over the sudden clamor of the Shitheads. "I know. Phoenix should be back in a few hours and he can shout at you then. What is she doing now?"

Star leaned in to the phone, so that they were all huddled over the mouthpiece. "I gave her shome paper and shome pensh to draw with. She'sh drawing, uh....."

In the center of their circle, there was paper, and there were pens, but there was no baby.

"We're gonna have to call you back," Des said, and hung up.

+++

After ten minutes of panic and five minutes of wrestling the little girl away from the Artifact closet, they had her safely seated on the sofa on Des' lap. Seal was sitting in Shadow's armchair and holding his head in his hands, and Star was pacing back and forth.

"So, kid," Des said, attempting to coach her voice into something suitable to kids. "What's your name? How'd you get here?"

"Um, my name is Sachi and I'm five years old," the kid said, proudly holding out four fingers. "I heard Daddy say he was gonna go take the meat out so I hid in the bag to come with him. I like meat. I wanna get out!" she said to Des, who was desperately trying to keep her from wriggling out of her grasp.

"Can one of you idiots take her for a minute?" Des hissed at them. "I gotta, I don't know, do something!"

"Don't look at me," Star said, alarmed. "I'm made of shpikesh and pointy bitsh. I'll perforate her."

"Yeah, yeah!" Sachi clapped. "I wanna climb the pointy bird man!" She started wriggling even harder in Star's direction.

Star bristled. "Hey, don't call me a fu- a shtupid bird! I'm a pershon! I got feelingsh!"

Sachi seemed to find this hilarious. "Bird man! Bird man!" she chanted, pointing at Star. Des thought she saw his eyes getting teary and hastily stood up. "Okay," she declared. "Activity time." Activity time? Seal mouthed at her. Des shrugged. She was aware that her childhood was atypical, but children needed structure in their lives, right? "Yeah, activity time. Uh, let's start with.... poetry!"

"Boring!" Sachi shouted, finally squirming out of Des' grasp and making an immediate beeline for the kitchen. "I wanna see Daddy's cool stuff!" Seal lunged at her, but the five-year old evaded him deftly. Only Star's Wing-assisted charge managed to outpace her, and he crashed headfirst to the ground in front of her, cutting her off.

"Haha, bird man sucks at flying! Wow, you're really pointy," Sachi said, crouching to poke at his soulsteel spikes. "How come you have a cool mask? I want a cool mask! Ooh, your teeth are pointy too!" She made to poke at his teeth, but Star slapped her hand away with his flesh hand before rolling over onto his back and groaning.

"Shtupid Wingsh," he muttered. "No, I'm not gonna kill the baby. I don't care about your shtupid bloodthirsht. Wait," he said, lifting his head up to peer at Sachi. "Aren't you shcared of me?"

Sachi giggled. "Nope!" she declared. "I know all about scary looking people! Daddy used to look like a scary monster too and he wears his spiky armor a lot but I know he's really nice and happy!"

Star let his head fall back to the ground. "Well, I'm not," he grumbled, but he let Sachi keep prodding his spikes and oohing and aahing.

Seal sidled over to Des. "Great fuckin activity," he murmured. "She's gonna fucking cut herself or something and then Pho's gonna eviscerate us. Also I feel like Star probably has a concussion or some shit."

"He doesn't have a concussion," Des replied dismissively. "Probably. He has like three Ox-Bodies. Star, you have Ox-Body Technique, right?" Star didn't respond, or was too busy talking to Sachi. "He's fine. Besides," and Des smiled, "I have a plan."

+++

"Hah!" Hours exclaimed. "She is like little monkey!"

Sachi laughed. She was clambering all across the enormous Dusk, his soulsteel tattoos providing obliging handholds and footholds. "You're fun!" she exclaimed.

"I am fun!" Hours agreed. "Watch this!" He reached around his back and picked her up by the midsection (giving Des, Seal and Star all heart attacks at the same time) so he could plop her on his shoulders. "Now you are varstrider pilot!" he boomed. "In charge of big var machine! Make buildings go boom!"

"Horsey!" Sachi shouted, ignoring him. "Go forwards!" Hours stepped forward, purposefully jostling Sachi. She shrieked with laughter. "Faster! Faster!" she shouted, and Hours obliged her by jogging around the Sanctuary slowly. Sachi laughed and hollered the whole time, and Des had to admit she felt something loosening deep inside her -- something she had never had. She had known intellectually that most children didn't have to dodge thrown projectiles as soon as they could walk, but it was another thing entirely to see a child who had probably never had to dodge anything in her life. Next to her, Seal was staring at them with open and unguarded envy. Des nudged him.

Seal jumped and looked at her, then looked away scowling -- probably equal parts because she'd caught him having an emotion and caught him off-guard. "She's so fucking -- defenseless," he said. "Probably couldn't fight a fucking dog."

"Not even a really weak one," Des agreed. "Hopefully she never has to."

Seal swiveled back to face her and took her by the arm. "Desecration," he said, unexpectedly serious. "I will die before I let a dog attack her."

Des stared at him for a minute before he let go and looked away. But she knew what he meant. "Yeah," she said. "Me too."

Hours came to a stop in front of them and Sachi pointed at them imperiously. "You two do horsey," she decided. "We can play chicken."

Des raised an eyebrow. "Are we horses or chickens?" she asked.

Sachi frowned. "No, dummy," she said. "You get on him and then you try to push me over and I try to push you over."

Des raised the other eyebrow, looking at the nine-foot tall Hours and the two-foot tall Sachi. "That seems... unsafe," she said.

Sachi smirked, an alarmingly precocious expression on the five-year old's face. "That means you're chicken!" she taunted. "You're a scaredy chicken!"

Des scoffed, but next to her, Seal looked determined. "Get on my fucking shoulders," he said. "Let's play some fucking chicken."

+++

They spent the next hour teetering around the Sanctuary. Des was used to fighting in strange situations, but this was not an environment she was used to. More than once, the Sachi-Hours combo team managed to almost push Des and Seal over so that only magic kept Des' balance. Every time this happened, Seal grew progressively more heated, and Des could feel his anima beginning to flare.

Just then, Star poked his head out of the kitchen. "Dinnersh ready!" he called cheerfully.

Sachi banged her little fists on Hours' shoulders. "Dinner! Dinner!" she ordered, and Hours toppled her down onto the sofa gently.

Des frowned. Did Star even know how to cook? Her question was swiftly answered as Star exited the kitchen bearing two platters of what appeared to be pinkish-grey ooze. "You're in luck," he said. "Mosht of the shtuff in the fridge ish for tomorrow but I found shome shtuff that looksh jusht like the old cave shlime from back home. Thish ish a family reschipe!"

Sachi took one look at the slime and started to cry.

Seal took over comforting Sachi while Des massaged Star's bruised ego and Hours cheerfully tipped the entire mess into his mouth. "Slimy!" he announced, which seemed to mollify Star a little.

"Well, when you're at home, what do you usually eat for dinner?" Seal asked Sachi. Instantly she brightened up and a devious light crept into her eyes. "Well, Daddy lets me have five sugar for every dinner," she said, holding up one hand splayed out for five fingers.

"Five sugar," Des repeated doubtfully. Sachi nodded. "Uh-huh, and ten juice!" she said, holding out the other fingers.

Hours frowned. "I don't think that --" he began, but Seal cut him off. "You heard the lady," he said, not breaking eye contact with Sachi, who giggled. "Five sugar and ten juice."

Star scratched his head. "Uh, I dunno about the juice, but I think I shaw shome candy maybe in one of Harv'sh drawersh --" He was interrupted by Sachi pumping her fists in the air and chanting "Candy! Candy! Candy!" Seal took up the chant, and then Hours joined in, and at that point Des felt that she might as well.

+++

The candy was a mistake.

Sachi had managed to get ahold of Des' daiklave and was now sprinting around the Sanctuary dragging it behind her and laughing maniacally. Thoughts of what Phoenix would do if he knew they'd given his daughter a weapon collided in her head with thoughts of what would happen if anything happened to Bloodthorn and joined forces with terror of anything happening to Sachi herself. "Sachi," she said, putting all her will and Essence into her voice, "put that down and come here."

"Gotta catch me!" the little girl shouted, apparently impervious to Des' efforts. She dodged around Hours' legs and nimbly avoided Seal's attempts to catch her. Star launched himself at her, Wings flaring akimbo behind him, but Sachi changed tack at the last moment and Star ended up crashing into Seal instead. Hours tottered backwards and crashed onto the pile, resulting in two Dusk Castes entangled with a very sharp and disgruntled Star. Sachi stood on the couch, waving at them and attempting to hoist Bloodthorn up with her. "Na na, can't catch me," she taunted, sticking her tongue out and making a funny face.

As the three boys untangled themselves and sprang to their feet, a plan entered Des' head. She let them run around for a while longer while she set up the TV, reasoning that they might as well burn off some more of Sachi's energy, then turned around. "Sachi," she said, baiting her words with magic. "Wanna see Ma-Ri-Oh Kart?"

"Mario!" the television screen declared, and Sachi's attention was immediately captured. She exclaimed wordlessly as she scrambled over the back of the sofa to where Des was holding the controller, and Des let out an internal sigh of relief as she dropped Bloodthorn. Star, Seal and Hours looked at each other a little sheepishly, then took their own controllers.

The Abyssals had gotten used to the strange demands of Mario Kart, and even thought they had gotten pretty good, but Sachi completely trounced them all. It turned out that the combination of hyperactive and hyperattentive five-year-old was unstoppable when applied to video games. She giggled triumphantly whenever she won, but after a few games Seal surrendered bad-temperedly and stormed off to sulk and polish Glorious First Light. Des lasted a little longer, but in truth the excitement of the day had gotten to her -- and worse, she felt something stirring at the bottom of her soul, a little voice that whispered you are not alive, you do not belong with living things, no matter how much you pretend to like them -- but she swallowed the Resonance and made sure none of it showed. It was another hour before Hours tapped out, claiming he was still hungry and Star's slime was "delicious but not very fillink". In the end it was just Star and Sachi, sitting next to each other on the couch, concentrating so hard their tongues stuck out, staring intently at the screen.

Des watched them, and felt -- good.

+++

It was past midnight when the door swung open again.

The lights were off, but the TV screen still cast animated patterns on the sleeping faces of Star and Sachi (Des had made sure to put cushions between Sachi and any spikes). Phoenix stared around the Sanctuary, at the controlled mess from their earlier battles, and caught Des' eye.

Uh-oh. Time to face the music.

Des motioned to him to be quiet and pointed to where Sachi lay on the couch. Phoenix crept forward, and a look of puzzlement mixed with relief washed over his face. "I thought she was just playing with her friends somewhere," he whispered loudly to Des. "How'd she get in here?"

Des shrugged. "Snuck in with your bags," she whispered back. "We gotta get Shadow to change the locks or something.

Phoenix nodded thoughtfully. "Well," he said, "I'm glad you got her to eat. She's a picky eater sometimes." Des glanced down at the candy wrapper by his feet. "Is everyone okay?" Phoenix asked, misinterpreting her silence.

"Yeah," Des said. "Everyone's happy."