#drunk Ramon Diaz is a hilarious thing

[because-i-am-barely-even-human]

Slightly drunk Ramon Diaz at one of the close family gatherings

Ramon: You know I don't believe in signs from the universe and whatnot...

Buck: Sounds familiar.

Ramon: ... but I think Eddie was always destined to be a firefighter.

Eddie: Thanks, dad. That's- that's really nice of you *touched*

Helena: Oh, no. No, no, no, please stop talking.

Eddie: What mom? This again? You think I'm not good enough for my job?

Helena: Honey, that is NOT what I mean-

Eddie: I thought we were past this!

Helena: We are, Eddie, of course we are! It's not what you think.

Eddie: Then what?

Helena: Sweety, trust me, you really don't want to know what's this about.

Eddie: I'm confused.

Buck: I'm kinda curious now.

Ramon: ... AS I WAS SAYING, the firefighting is in your blood, mijo. Did you know I was a firefighter in EPFD for, like, two years?

Eddie: Wow. No, you never told me or girls that. Why did you stop?

Ramon: I got fired. It was worth it.

Helena: Älskling, I'm begging you to stop talking.

Buck: I bet there's a story there.

Ramon: You goddamn right there is!

Eddie: What happened?

Ramon: It was your fault!

Eddie: Excuse me?!

Ramon: I got fired 'cuz our Edmundo was conceived in a fire TRUCK!

So, Eddie, mijo. You too, Evan! If my next grandkid is gonna be conceived in a firehouse, make sure you don't get caught, don't repeat my mistakes.

Eddie:

Buck:

Eddie: Mom?! *traumatized*

Helena: