#dude looks like chucky im so sorry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

or-ng-c-ss-dy · 4 years

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winning is fun (losing is too)

i think the thing in this fandom is to post fics directly to tumblr. so im gonna try that out i guess...here you go.

you can also find it here on ao3, it’s member locked so fair warning.

another warning, this fic includes themes of internalized homophobia/biphobia. no other warnings apply tho.

some chuckie t/oc for your night, 18+ only, 4.6k words.

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He had looked for Orange Cassidy everywhere, the little closet they had been hanging out in, the men’s locker room, even in The Elite’s private locker room. And then in stairwells, in the halls. And then he threw his hands over his eyes (he was a gentleman after all) and walked into the women's locker room to look for the unofficially-official third Best Friend, maybe was hanging out with Kris Statlander again.

Instead of finding him, Chuck got unceremoniously thrown out onto his ass by several of the women in there, and there was still no sign of Orange.

Which was unfortunate, Dynamite had long happened and people were finally starting to filter out to their hotel rooms or to catch a late dinner, and Chuck wanted to leave too. But not without Orange, although he was getting closer and closer to just leaving him there and letting him find his own way back to their room.

“Orange, c’mon, man. Did ya fall asleep somewhere, I know you’re all small and stuff so you can sneak into little places to sleep, but we have beds back at the hotel that are more comfy.” He tried, calling out to the empty hallway.

Trent had joined him for the search for a little while, but ended up giving up when he got too hungry. Chuck let him go, but he wasn’t going to leave Orange there. Not really, as tempting as it was to just go hit the bar and find the greasiest slice of pizza the city had to offer all by himself, it wouldn’t be the same without Orange.

He ended up rounding the corner and nearly running straight into Luchasaurus, who stopped him with huge hands on his shoulders. Jungle Boy peered down at him from his place up high on Luchasaurus’ shoulders.

“Shoot, sorry about that.” Chuck said. “Hey, it’s alright. You look worried about something, though, is everything alright.” “Yeah, I’m just looking for my pal, Orange Cassidy. You seen him?”

Luchasaurus thought about it for a second. When Jungle Boy started tapping on the top of his head, he pulled his hands off of Chuck’s shoulders and gave him an apologetic smile.

“No, sorry. But Jungle Boy here heard the showers still going, maybe he’s in there?” “Ah, thanks! I’ll go look.” Chuck said, patting Jungle Boy’s leg before scooting on past the pair.

Sure enough, he could hear the shower running from the hall. He had just been in the men’s locker room, but there were other people in there and he had just gotten out of the shower, so he didn’t think to look for Orange in there. But there he was, standing under the spray of the water in the otherwise empty shower room.

Orange was naked other than his sunglasses and a pair of shower shoes that he instantly recognized as the pair that he had brought, far too big for Orange’s feet. And he was leaning against the wall, his usual blank look on his face. Chuck couldn’t help but feel relief wash over him, he hadn’t realized that he was nervous over Orange until he had finally found him.

He didn’t think that PAC would try anything outside of the ring, but the man was pretty much like a wild animal those days. Maybe he would try to get to his newly found rival when people weren’t looking. Luckily, it just appeared as if Orange had fallen asleep while standing up in the shower again, this time in the locker room instead of in their home bathroom.

“Christ, buddy, there you are. You worried me sick.” Chuck said, approaching Orange.

Orange shifted slightly, head tilting in Chuck’s general direction. Other than that, he didn’t really move or react, although Chuck knew him well enough to see the slight tilt of his lips.

“Sorry.” He said after a moment.

It took until that point to register that Orange was naked. He had seen his friend naked before, of course he had, through shared locker rooms and showers with no stalls, but it was different when other people were there alongside them. He had even carried on mostly-one sided conversations with Orange while they were naked, but it was different to be alone with him while he was naked.

Chuck was suddenly very aware of the fact that his dick was right there, soft between short, blond curls, and that his chest was perfectly toned and glistening with droplets from the shower. His skin was a soft, pretty pink, steam curling around his body, and it was information that his brain supplied to him before he could stop himself.

It didn’t mean anything, Orange was just objectively attractive. Just because he was thinking it, it didn’t mean that he was attracted to his friend, it was just a fact of life. It was easy to write the thoughts off as that, he had been doing it for years after all. He wasn’t into men, of course he wasn’t. Gay people were perfectly cool with him, something that had taken him an embarassingly long time to realize after growing up in Kentucky, but he was straight and that was that.

After all, he liked girls. So that was what he could focus on.

It took a grunt from Orange to pull him out of his thoughts, flushing from being caught so far off guard.

“Oh, uh. It’s okay, man. Just hurry up, I’m hungry.”

Chuck went to leave Orange to it, figuring that he should probably get out of there before his mind wanders any further. Instead, he stayed looking for just long enough to see Orange start to move at a snail’s pace, hand raising from its place at his side to slowly rub as his chest.

It was ridiculous. Chuck scoffed and crossed his arms, moving in closer to Orange before he could stop himself.

“Really, dude?” “Yeah.” “Do you need help with that or something?” Chuck said, rolling his eyes.

It was meant to be a joke, he thought it came out sounding like a joke. But Orange just nodded, letting his hands fall back to his side and...well, presenting his body to Chuck. Chuck just stood there, staring at him, eyes wide.

“Seriously?” “Yeah. Help me out.” Orange said, a twist forming at his lips. “Absolutely not, wash your own damn body. What do you take me for, your boyfriend?” Chuck said, a little too harsh for his own liking.

He flinched at the sound of his own voice, a little too harsh, a little too revealing. Orange seemed to take it in stride though, pouting and trying not to laugh. He lifts his hands up and does that stupid thing he does in the ring, loose hands gesturing in the vaguest ‘come on” signal of all times.

“C’mon.” “Don’t you start that crap, OC.”

Chuck knew that he couldn’t resist Orange when he made that face, but that usually extended to doing something stupid like jumping down a flight of stairs just for the hell of it or taking another shot, not...not getting his hands on his naked, perfect body.

Christ, he was in deeper than he thought.

“Please, Chuck.” He said, wry smile crossing over his usual look of indifference. “Ugh,” Chuck groaned obnoxiously, “fine. But you’re buying the first round...no, the first three rounds as payment for me having to touch your gross, sweaty bod. And I’m getting top shelf stuff in my diet coke.”

He hoped that would deter Orange, that he wouldn’t agree to the terms set by Chuck. But Orange simply gave him another lazy smile and a soft huff that might’ve been a laugh.

“Fine by me.” “Huh, seriously?” Chuck said, completely struck. “Yeah. Bathe me, Chuck.” Orange said, deadpan voice not matching the smirk on his face.

Was Orange just playing? Maybe he wasn’t expecting Chuck to actually do it, maybe they were both playing this strange game of bluffing. Gay chicken with higher stakes, because he wasn’t sure if Orange was just trying to fake him out or not, but he defintely wasn’t trying to fake Orange out. Not when the thought of touching him like that had his mouth dry, swallowing hard, made him want to say all the words that he wasn’t allowed to say.

If he touched him, would Orange push him away? Orange was looking at him through his sunglasses, expression turning unreadable. Was he waiting in horror or anticipation over the idea of Chuck actually touching him? They had touched before, obviously, wrestling was all about contact between two sweaty, half-naked people, but it was different when there wasn’t the sport and the crowd and the ref.

It was just them. Chuck shook slightly as he stepped up, hand extending slowly until it finally landed flat on Orange’s chest, laying there. He could feel the slick heat from the water, giving way to the radiating heat of Orange’s body. He had taken a few good chops that day, skin bruised and broken under Chuck’s fingers.

Chuck looked up at Orange’s face, looking for any disgust in his face. Instead, Orange’s pink lips were gaped open slightly, chest heaving slightly. Chuck wanted to ask if it was okay, but the words got stuck in his throat and he worried that, if they managed to free themselves, that they might shatter the moment between them. That the spell would be broken and they’d spring back like they had been doing something wrong.

Instead, he reached over Orange’s shoulder, the motion bringing him just a little bit closer into his space, grabbing for the shampoo on the shelf behind him. Chuck looked at the label, suppressing a laugh as a huff when he realized that it was orange-scented. He had seen it in their shared bathroom at home, in hotel rooms, but it was funnier when he was the one about to rub it into Orange’s hair and he almost wanted to make some joke about it. Instead, he popped the top and poured some in his hands, rubbing them together to lather the soap up.

He was thankful that Orange was a good deal shorter than him. It made it so he didn’t have to stand on his toes or...or have Orange kneel down to be able to wash his hair. Instead, he turned him around with a firm press on his shoulder and got his soapy fingers into that water-darkened blond hair. Chuck rubbed at his scalp gently, careful not to press too hard as PAC had also been fond of using his hair to lead him around the ring.

Orange let out a contented sigh, a soft huff of sound that had Chuck’s face flushing slightly. It had been an involuntary little sound that he had coaxed out of Orange, and he couldn’t help but want to get more noises out of him. Just another thought that he couldn’t control.

He was glad that he hadn’t put his shirt back on yet, too busy looking for Orange to finish getting dressed. Because Orange tilted his head back, soaking wet against his bare chest as Chuck massaged shampoo into his temples for a little too long. From that angle, he could see the way Orange’s eyes closed contentedly behind the sunglasses that he was still wearing. It made him feel warm and itchy in ways that he couldn’t even begin to describe, in a way that was both pleasant and deeply unpleasant, but all together unbearable.

Chuck forced himself to gently guide Orange under the spray, forced himself to not grab him close or to shove him away entirely with both hands on his back. Washing his hair was the easy part and, yet, he was already spiraling, already looking for ways of self preservation.

Instead, he reached back over for the bottle of body wash on the shelf as Orange washed the shampoo out of his hair. His body wash was orange-scented too but it wasn’t as funny anymore, the faint scent of oranges that usually hung around him amplified in the hot, damp shower air in ways that had him fighting to catch his breath.

He worked the body wash between the palms of his hands, readying himself for the fact that he was about to become more acquainted with the body of his friend than he’d ever thought he would. Than he ever thought he’d be allowed.

Chuck started at Orange’s shoulders and arms, the safest places he could think of, rubbing the soap over him in circles. His muscles were firm under his hands, God, he had worked hard on those things. Chuck knew that from his appearance, but it was different when he was touching as opposed to just looking.

He scrubbed up and down his arms and shoulders until he couldn’t put his chest off any longer. It was an odd angle, hands pressed against his chest, nothing like washing himself and nothing like the playful showers he had with various ex-girlfriends. The washing hadn’t been the point of those, just a pretense to some rather-mediocre sex that would’ve been better in a bed anyway. Chuck figured that it’d probably be easier if Orange was facing away from him, a more familiar angle, but that would mean being crotch-to-ass and...well. There were a lot of reasons why he didn’t want to do that.

Mainly a rather...pressing issue that was starting to strain against the front of his sweatpants. Chuck couldn’t adjust himself without leaving a wet, soapy hand print that would’ve made it obvious as to what he was doing, so he just hoped that Orange hadn’t noticed it.

He hadn’t checked if Orange was into it though. He could’ve, easily, considering that there was nothing covering him. Chuck was almost too afraid to look, to figure out what it meant to Orange. If he was into it, opening a door that neither of them would be able to close. Or if he wasn’t into it like Chuck was, making him the creep that was looking too far into things.

So he kept his eyes cast on Orange’s perfect chest as he washed him, arms moving around him to wash his back as well. God, they were too close, he could feel the even exhale of Orange’s breath fanning over his neck, making him shiver despite the heat of the shower, of the body pressed so close to him.

It was all making him confront the parts of himself that he hadn’t let himself ever confront, all in vivid color. The pink of Orange’s skin, of his lips, the ghostly white of his own knuckles and the soap that he was lathering him up with, and the deep blue of the eyes that were boring into his own. He hadn’t even realized that Orange had taken his sunglasses off until he was nearly choking on his own breath.

Chuck caught sight of his own reflection in the glasses, put up on the shelf next to Orange’s soaps, and he could only see a man that was so far out of his element, so desperate to understand the desperation that was clawing up from the pit of his stomach. Thrust into some part of himself that he didn’t understand, throwing away the walls they had built between each other without even knowing, all for the sake of something that had started as a joke.

Maybe it had never been a joke. But he had done enough analysing for one day and he really had to do Orange’s legs next.

...Oh. He hadn’t realized what would mean until he slid his hands towards those legs and moved over cut hip bones, far too close to the place that he hadn’t dared look. He couldn’t wash Orange without moving closer to his...well. His crotch region.

Chuck figured that he should probably back off, should tell Orange to do the rest of his own damn washing. Play it off as a joke that had gotten a little too awkward for his liking, gotten a little too gay.

He’d need to crouch down to get to his lower half and that would mean that he’d have to be face to face with Orange’s dick. It was time for the joke to end, but maybe it was never a joke. Maybe he had been completely serious, maybe it had all been to get his hands on his body. A manifestation of the deepest parts of himself.

He wasn’t drunk enough to be philosophizing like that, and he certainly wasn’t drunk enough to be touching Orange at all. He usually kept his distance until he was a few drinks in, and then he could reason with himself as to why he was touching Orange. Instead he was blindingly, obviously sober.

Instead of pushing back or finding a way to end the strange thing that was happening between them, Chuck found himself being carried away by all of it. By the ragged sound of Orange’s breathing and the steam that was curling around them like the ghosts of fingers. His pants were damp from the water and from the sweat that had broken out on his body, and they were far tighter than sweatpants were supposed to be, and he couldn’t hold back any longer.

Chuck found himself wanting whatever was building between them. He sucked in a breath and crouched down at Orange’s front to wash his legs, letting himself be confronted by the evidence of what was happening between them.

Because Orange was hard, hanging heavy and blood-flushed between his thighs. Chuck’s hands rubbed slowly over his thighs and he let himself look up into the face of his friend, into those lust darkened blue eyes that were staring down at him. Orange’s hands hadn’t really moved from his side but they were hovering over Chuck’s head like he was about to grab for him, to pull him close and...and…

Would he let him? Would he open his mouth for Orange, let him slide in, let him fuck into his face? Or was that too much, too far, because, if they broke that damn, what other barriers would they push past, what other lines would they cross? Would he do the same, fuck his pretty mouth and maybe even his perfect little ass? A few handjobs in the shower, that could be written off as something that happened in some strange heated moment, but anything else had more intent.

Something that they couldn’t just write off.

Orange’s indecisive fingers finally landed, curling around the line of his jaw and guiding him up until he was standing. He was taller than Orange, it was obvious really, but it hadn’t felt like it mattered until he was pretty much looming over him, casting a shadow over his features.

They both looked lost, he knew that much was true, and it felt strange to have Orange’s hands on his skin despite how much he’d touched him while washing him. But his fingers hadn’t moved from Chuck’s jaw, and Chuck’s hands found his hips, gripping him tight enough that he worried he’d leave more bruises on his sensitive, easily marked skin, and the thought made him want to mark him up even more.

“Chuck.” Orange said, voice broken as it shattered the illusion between them.

But it had never been about a friendly shower, had it?

Chuck’s hands pulled Orange against him, the hot line of his body soaking his sweatpants and, God, he didn’t care because it felt so good. He thought about kissing him, kissing that confused look right off of his face. Instead, he leaned down and brushed his lips down the side of his neck, the first real sign of his intentions.

Orange gasped, a soft sound that whistled past his ears, and Chuck gave his own groan in return. It made him feel bolder, gripping Orange tighter and canting his hips forward to let him feel just how into their weird moment he had gotten.

He was suddenly very aware of the fact that they weren’t exactly in a private setting. Anyone could walk right in, walk around a small wall, and find them there. Hell, anyone with a camera could get them on video, the Bucks seemed fond of walking around and filming everything about backstage.

Did he even care? He had Orange’s lithe little body pressed up against him and that was the only thing he could bring himself to focus on, the rest of it just faded away. The Young Bucks, Cody Rhodes, Kenny Omega, and Adam Page could all stroll in to film something for their show, and he’d yell at them like they were the ones in the wrong, all so he could keep grinding against that tight, pliant body in his arms.

Chuck let his tongue drag up the side of his neck, lapping a droplet of water off of his skin. Emboldened by the soft sigh that dropped from Orange’s lips, he let himself nip at the patch of pale skin that was right under his ear. Leaving hickies was some high school crap, but he just wanted to see his marks on Orange’s pale skin. He had seen the way that his skin was lit up after a match, blindingly bright red, and he wanted to be the one to mark Orange up.

“C’mon, Chuck.” Orange panted out, pretty pink lips parted invitingly.

Fingers wound into the short hairs at the back of his neck, Orange had to push up on his toes to press their lips together and kiss him in earnest. It was a good fucking kiss, something that he didn’t know how much he wanted until it was actually happening. Orange’s tongue slid across his bottom lip and Chuck responded in kind. He felt Orange’s lips quirk up and couldn’t help but break the kiss to laugh, tilting their foreheads together.

“This is ridiculous.” He murmured, stroking over Orange’s face fondly. “Yeah.” “My pants are getting soaked, dude.”

Orange huffed out a laugh at that, a soft sound that made Chuck lean in just to kiss him again. God, he was cute. He always knew it in the back of his mind, but it was being dragged out to the forefront just from a few kisses and some light grinding.

“Take them off, then.”

Hands found the waist of his sweatpants, tugging them down. His erection bobbed between them and Orange angled his hips to rub them together, catching them both in his smaller fist. Chuck let out a groan, tipping forward to muffle his sounds in Orange’s wet skin.

“Christ, that feels good.” He said and Orange hummed in agreement.

A part of him was still worried that someone else would walk in, a part of him thought that the possibility made it even better. Orange seemed to get that they had to move quick, but Chuck thought that he might not mind someone walking in. They’d see that Orange was his now, and that thought had him moaning.

“C’mon, OC, faster. You don’t want anyone walkin’ in on us, do ya?” He groaned, and Orange let out a soft moan in return, hand moving a little faster.

The water didn’t really alleviate any of the friction, but Chuck was too wrapped up in the moment to give a shit. After all, Orange was moaning prettily, blue eyes locked on his own brown ones. Chuck tilted his head up, brushing their lips together as he thrust into Orange’s fist.

“Don’t want anyone seeing you moan like a little slut for me, this is all for me, baby.” Chuck said, grin turning a little wild as Orange let out a louder moan.

His cheeks flushed prettily and Chuck wondered what else he could make flush with just a little bit of pressure. His mind was moving at a thousand miles a minute, the image of fucking into Orange right then and there flooding his mind. It was a little sleazy if he was being honest, and completely ungentlemanly, but the thought of bending him over and taking him from behind had him getting closer and closer to orgasm.

Chuck cradled the hand circled around them, encouraging Orange to stroke a little faster and a little tighter. A part of him did want it to last, wanted to stay in that moment forever, but he knew that they had to get it over with.

Orange was jacked, that much was true. He worked out hard for the muscles that he rarely used, but he still felt small in Chuck’s arms. It drove him a little wild, he could probably pick him up and drive right into him.

“Gonna take you back to our room after this, we’re skipping dinner. Gonna bend you over every fucking surface, get my dick in your perfect little ass, OC.” Chuck panted out, bending over to say the words right into Orange’s ear. “Chuck…” He panted, sounding strained, and Chuck nipped at the shell of his ear. “Yeah? You like hearing what I’m gonna do to you, baby?”

Orange nodded quickly and Chuck let out another huffed laugh, tilting his face down to press their mouths together in something that might’ve been a kiss if they weren’t otherwise distracted by trying to get off. Instead of a kiss, it was more or less something to muffle the soft noises coming from Orange’s mouth.

Who knew that he’d be so loud? Maybe he wasn’t even loud, maybe it was just the fact that they were in a semi-public place, but every soft moan and gasp sounded like a scream in the otherwise quiet air. And Chuck wasn’t exactly quiet either, biting back his own moans.

“We ain’t gonna leave that hotel room for nothing, Orange. Now that I’ve got my hands on you, I’m not gonna stop until we pass out, and then I’m gonna start the moment we wake back up.” “At home?” “You know it, baby.” Chuck said, groaning when Orange shuddered against him.

Despite the noises that he had been making, it took a few seconds to realize that Orange had cum. He painted Chuck’s chest with white, shaking in his arms and jerking himself through it. The realization had Chuck cumming as well, spurting hot cum in the place where their bodies connected.

“Holy shit.” He groaned, tilting to press their foreheads together as they panted together in the afterglow of their shared orgasm.

And then Orange was laughing, a soft huff, and Chuck was worried that he did something wrong. Or that Orange just thought of what had happened between them as some sort of joke, that it didn’t mean the same to him.

But Orange leaned forward, kissing him again, a soft brush of lips against lips.

“You said the s-word.” He murmured and Chuck had to laugh too, cupping his face. “What can I say, OC, you just bring it out of me,” Chuck said, “now, c’mon, we both need to shower. I made some promises to you that I intend to keep.”

He figured that they couldn’t shower together if they actually wanted to get out of there, not to mention the very pressing issue of someone walking in. But he couldn’t resist slapping Orange’s ass before walking away, grin spreading over his face as he went over to his own shower and started the water.

When he chanced a glance over at Orange, he saw him washing himself quickly, desire to leave overriding his laziness. Chuck moved quickly as well because he absolutely intended to keep all of those promises.

As his stomach grumbled and Orange’s practically called back in response, he figured that they could break one of those promises.

After all, they’d need the energy.

#my writing #otp: gentleman's club #let's go with that for a shipname #nsfw/#long post/

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zackmephisto · 4 years

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dirt watches aew

this episode changed me as a person

nick vs fenix NAME A MORE ICONIC MATCH

this is already fucking stunning no one ever @ me ever again

THE ADIOS AMIGO AND THEN COUNTERED AND THEN THE SEE YA I'M EMOTIONAL DON'T TOUCH ME

HOLY SHIT THAT ROPE SHIT INTO THE HURRICANRANA

oh god that's right they're both the younger brothers THIS IS POETIC

if u wanna show someone pro wrestling. this should be a match you show them.

was upset when nick got him in the sharpshooter just bc I didn't want the match to end

holy fuck that was so good

if this crowd isnt as hot for this women's match as they were just then i'm yeeting myself off my balcony

god I am so heart eyes for these women. could watch this for ages

THE REVERSAL

THIS AWESOME

god these two are so fucking good

shida won but tbh both of them looked fucking stunning in this match. could have ended any which way and i would have been thoroughly impressed.

what the fuck.

COWBOY SHIT!!!

HANGMAN BEING THE ONLY ONE WITH AN ENTRANCE THIS IS DIRT RIGHTS

orange Cassidy and chuck coming out during commercial is actually dirtphobic so nvm

o kip ok I'm interested

jimmy havoc ok. didnt he get his ass beat not too long ago

JUNGLE BOY AND MARKO STUNT I'M DECEASED

Pentagon!!!!

SONNYYYYY

joey!!!!

oh god. oh god. oh fuck its MJF OH FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!! god hes looking so tan and s*xy

how old is Billy Gunn now

OH OH GOD MY DUDE

CHUCKIE OH MY GOD THANK YOU I LOVE YOU

orange... I love you.

SONNY TWERKING THANK YOU

max.... i hate that I love you. but I do love you.

CHUCK HUGGING ORANGE LIKE THAT ME TOO

MARKO I LOVE YOU KILL HIM

marko :(

ew. staple gun.

this is big nasty

cant i have one dynamite where i dont have to see shawn spears

ok the asshole chants for max i want u 2 kno that i agree w the crowd but I still love u

ORANGE BEAT HIS ASS PLEASE IM BEGGING

THANK GOD

that's the most heel thing mjf has ever done. fuck him breaking up with cody. he eliminated orange

HELLO?!?!?!??!

please don't eliminate mjf my crops are dying

thank u wardlow. whoever u r

THANK U HANGMAN!!!!

ideally this ends with hangman and mjf. can you imagine that match? can you imagine my rights?

fuck you penelope ford what else have you done

JUNGLE BOY HOLY FUCK

OH GOD JUNGLE BOY AND HANGMAN but when did max get eliminated

OH HE DIDNT

oh my god.... oh my god it really is my rights...

SORRY AEW SAID DIRT RIGHTS !!!!!!

SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M GONNA SCREECH ABT THIS UNTIL THE END OF TIME

an upset? who was upset? i for one stan our southern californian kings

where can I get that blazer. so i can wear it with my tiddies out so jericho sees how ridiculous looks

me: shits on chris jericho

also me: sings hella loud to his theme

i have champagne should i pop it for him

ok me when i have to admit a customer is right and hager is my manager right behind me

OK THIS IS GOOD CONTENT SORRY

"Chicago has a hockey team and two baseball teams" and then the hard cut to the dude in the bears jacket made me shit myself

say bubbly. do it.

hager say sorry for jericho's dollar store headband challange

SCU LOOKS GOOD OMG

wait hold on can we talk abt how a black man handed chris "i played the grand wizard of the kkk in a movie" jericho his first L in a e dub

THE YOU GOT PINNED CHANTS FUCK YEAH

U GET UR DATE SCORPIO SKY

the melanie chants are sending me-

"i never meant to embarrass you" HEYOOO

"melanie gained a lot of weight since high school" "i like big butts and i cannot lie" SCORPIO MY FUCKING KING THANK YOU I OWE YOU MY LIFE

"I think its cuter than baby yoda-" ok... maybe he got it

MAKE IT A TITLE MATCH

FUCK YEAH OH MY GOD I CANT WAIT

oh my god scorpio sky i.... i...... I-

LE BITCH!!!!!! LE!!!! BITCH!!!!!!

hey sammy guevara 2008 dirt called she wants her maroon skinny jeans back

i'm kinkshaming proud n powerful

what did nakazawa and cutler ever do to anyone other than be good boys

scorpio sky finessed that title match and i'm frankly jealous

WHY BRING MARKO AND JUNGLE BOY THIS HURTS

LUCHASAURUS THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING

oh okay. okay. they're big. they're bug dudes. jesus damn.

can't blame hager. i wouldn't want to fight luchasaurus either i would have ran too he's big and clearly Better than u

big depressed that dynamite is only 2 hrs long

luchasaurus vs Peter Avalon???? ok.... ok.

"it looks like life has found a way" for this. i hope that peter Avalon survives for even a minute longer

anyway luchasaurus <censored>

good evening luchasaurus <censored>

i stan one dinosaur family and also luchasaurus <censored>

oh! private party and proud n powerful ok. dirt rights.

o the t shirt. maybe i'm crying.

that pin break holy fuck I love these two teams

holy vertical lift

i literally would have cried if they got that double stomp holy shit

Noah fence but this match needs to be faster bc i desperately need darby vs mox. my crops are dying

hurricanrana is still one of my fave moves in all of pro wrestling

isiah kassidy's leopard print ass. that's it. send the tweet.

that was so fucked up what the fuck???? i thot aye ee dub was better than that

Nick Jackson And His Ugly Shirt Make The Save

and thank god. would have sued if private party lost

DUSTIN?!?!?!?!?!?

i'm so <redacted> for mjf vs hangman none of you have a Clue

KENNY AND PAC SCREEEEEE

kenn...ny????????????

kenny :(

THIS! FUCKING! POP!

darby you dramatic fucking SHIT

god his theme goes so hard.

THE BODY BAG I!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M NOT READYYYYY

holy fucking shit.

is moxley huge or darby tiny

THAT NO SELL. JESUS.

suddenly I'm a whore all the sudden

i'm so goddamn tense I cant liveblog my butthole is clenched

the body bag moving is cool and I get it but it's also a little funny. maybe I'm drunk. per aew tradition. but it's a little drunk funny

don't talk to me I'm tense

AAAA!

oh my god he fucking killed Darby

yes darby lost but sorry. mox needed to paradigm shift him from the top rope to get the pin. that speaks. fucking. volumes.

#dirt watches aew

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness

For this weeks TBT, were going to take a look into the lives of the most influential baby friend group of the ’90s. Im talking, of course, about the Rugrats and, most importantly, how betchy or not betchy each Rugrat is. Is it polite to rank toddlers who have not yet learned to speak based on arbitrary social categories? Probs not. Is it fun? Fucking duh.

1. Cynthia

Heres what we know about Cynthia: 1) Shes a really cool dancer, 2) Shes got cool moves (as long as you move her arms and legs), 3) Shes movin out on the floor, 4) Shes ready to break some eggs (make an omelette Cynthia!) How do we know all this? We know it from her workout tape, which I am shocked has not been sampled by Avicii or Kanye or someone yet (dont listen unless you want this song stuck in your head all day).

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Cynthias resting bitch face is on point, and she manages to look great in her belted orange dress despite the fact that she is missing of her hair. Cynthia didnt say or do shit for all 9 seasons of, yet she is still one of the shows most memorable characters, and it is her ability to do no work and remain popular that has earned her the number one slot.

2. Susie Carmichael

Susie Carmichael is cool AF. Did Susie need to appear in every episode? No. Susie had other shit to do. Shell check in every once in awhile to see what the babies are up to, teach them about Kwanzaa and generally let them know whats good, before going back next door to hang with her real friends. Whenever she does come over, the babies flip out because theyre like, obsessed with her (everyone is). Shes also the only person who has absolutely no time for Angelicas bullshit, probably because Susie has better hair, a better outfit, and wears a cool red bangle, which is more than Angelica could ever hope to have. Susie is three, which makes her older and wiser than most of the babies and probably accounts for the sheer lack of fucks she has to give. Did Susie get her ass lost in the woods when Dil was born? Fuck no, she was chilling in Paris getting turnt up with her older sister! Did Susie almost die with the Rugrats in EuroReptarland? No bitch, I just told you shes already been to Paris! Susie Carmichael always comes correct, and thats what earned her the number two spot.

3. Tommy Pickles

Tommy Pickles is the star of the show, which virtually guarantees him betchiness. Tommy also has the whole dressing like a slut thing down and spends all nine seasons of wearing nothing but a crop top and booty shorts. His outfit never stops him from leading his friend group on adventures, and you know once he can talk and operate a phone hed be the person managing the group chat, suggesting what clubs and parties to go to, making sure everyone is getting the free shots they deserve, and seeing you into your Uber at the end of the night. The thing holding Tommy back from the top spot is that hes too fucking nice. Hell let any baby with shit in their diaper come hang with him (cough CHUCKIE cough), and that means his friend group is riddled with duds (HI CHUCKIE). Be a little more discerning about your friend group, Thomas, and maybe well see you up at the top with Cynthia.

4. Angelica Pickles

We cant talk about Cynthia without getting to her BFF and designated Rugrat BSCB, Angelica Pickles. Angelica spent most of torturing the dumb babies (who were really only like a year younger than her) and making them miserable, yet still somehow being invited to all the group hangs, play dates, and brunches. Angelica spends a lot of time telling everyoneincluding the adultshow beautiful she is and is absolutely desperate for attention, probably because her rich AF parents never pay attention to her. Shes your friend who cries and starts shit at the club anytime she feels like shes not the hottest girl there (and she frequently is notthanks Cynthia!) Also girl, lay off the cookies.

5. Charlotte Pickles

Charlotte Pickles is Angelicas mom who is literally always on her phone. Like, always. Even in a time before cellphones could fit in your pocket, Charlotte is always on the phone with her assistant Jonathan (Cheban? We dont know) and ignores basically every member of her family to do so. When phones dont work, Charlotte straight up makes her husbands brother carry a fax machine around so she doesnt miss any important texts. Charlotte alternates between a power suit and workout gear, always accompanied by an Ariana Grande level high ponytail. In , Charlotte displays clear signs of some seriously botched cosmetic surgery, which is what has dropped her down to slot #5. Never try to cut corners on botox, Charlotte! Itll always go wrong. Honestly, Jonathan should have told you that.

6. Grandpa Lou

Grandpa Lou is another character who gives absolutely zero fucks and is down to hang. Much like Corinne, Lou loves naps and often falls asleep halfway through finishing his stories. Despite his old age, Lou is still a fuckboy, and is often seen hitting on women and generally trying to find ways to get laid. If had taken place in 2017, Lou would have definitely had a Tinder and that Tinder definitely would have had a picture of him from 20+ years earlier. Lou is eventually successful in finding a new wife, Lulu, who he moves in with pretty fast after they start hooking up (risky choice, Lou!) Outside of his strangely active love life, Lou also has many frenemies, including his own cousin Miriam; his bowling rival, Billy Strike Maxwell; and some other wrestling guy named Conan McNulty. This proves that when push comes to shove, Lou is just not very popular and kind of an old perv. Sixth place for you, Lou.

7. Phil And Lil Deville

Okay Im sorry, but Phil and Lil are fucking gross. Their diet is a mess, always eating fucking worms and mud and shit. Do you know how many calories are in a ball of worms, kids? Do you? Seriously. There is a episode where Phil and Lil drink straight-up toilet water. What the fuck is that? Is that something babies do? Phil and Lil also have no creativity when it comes to fashion, and instead just dress alike every damn day in greena color that is flattering on exactly 0 people. Their mom is a hardcore feminist, which is cool, but maybe the twins have been empowered to do a little bit too much. Like sure, Lil can do whatever she wants with her life, but maybe eating a giant pile of shit should not be one of those things? Idk. Seventh place.

8. Stu Pickles

Good Lord is Stu Pickles a sad man. Seriously. You have a beautiful house, two healthy babies, a cool Jewish wife who has managed to maintain her pre-baby body, and youre still fucking complaining! Look around, asshole! You have all this shit despite the fact that your dumb ass hasnt invented one successful toy. In fact, you havent even invented one toy that didnt explode and almost kill your entire family. You are literally #blessed but youre too blind to see it! The only thing keeping you from the bottom slot is this meme which, in the current political climate, is legit all of our lives right now:

9. Chuckie Finster

No. Just no. Im sorry, but again, its gonna be a hard pass on Chuckie. Here are all the things Chuckie would have to improve if he ever even wanted to hope to be betchy. 1) His voice, which is terrible. Do you have a cold, Chuckie? Go to the damn doctor. Its the ’90s. Hillary Clinton has passed the State Childrens Health Insurance Plan. You can go to the doctor. Go. 2) Grow. A. Pair. Dude. You know when Chuckie gets older hes gonna be your friend who calls the cops on his own party for getting out of hand. Hes gonna be that guy who side eyes you for doing molly at Coachella, making weird comments under his breath about how you never know whats in that stuff and generally bringing bad vibes despite the fact that Beyonc is literally pregnant and dancing in front of you. 3) The hair is a problem. Comb it. Dye it. Do something. Its a problem. 4) Tie your fucking shoes, dude. 9th place.

10. Chas Finster

There was no character on television from 1991-2004 that was less betchy than Chas Finster. He has all of Chuckies problems, but he is a fucking adult which means he has literally no excuse for being such a narc. Chas seems to be suffering from whatever health problems are affecting his son, and despite being a bureaucrat, apparently has no ability to get his ass to a doctor either. Like many sad old nerds, Chas must travel to a foreign country to find a wife, eventually convincing a way-too-hot-for-him Japanese woman to fly to America and be his Melania. Chas also has a double-Hitler mustache, which is 100% unacceptable, no matter what decade you live in. Sorry, Chas. Last place.