#dude... i don't know anymore..... this is beyond my scope

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

[rosetheex-editor]

[Begin video transcript.]

[Transcript begins from the floor, the camera propped up with an object facing someone's pant legs. Random boxes in the background, the room has almost no lighting, with the exception of a small light shining barely out of frame.]

?: I think I’m done with watching, Rose.

[Voice unidentified: Please try again later.]

?: I don’t believe there is a future for the foundation. Not with Showfall running everything.

?: Dude… What the fuck are you talking about?

[Voice identified: Rose.]

?: You don’t know what I’ve seen… What Showfall keeps in those damn tunnels. Something beyond my scope. Beyond what I could even conceive. I’ve seen the face of the Devil.

R: Dude I…-

?: I went into the tunnels… God, how long has it been? Fuck… months?

R: WHY? Why though?

?: Well I went there to try and find Edgar. Mostly since it’s kind of my job… was… but I also-.

R: Also what?

[The legs in frame unsteadily shift weight]

?: How long do you think he had planned it? I mean, I know there was a plan. I just didn’t think he would actually… I mean, surely he was just putting on a show, right? That’s what you showfall bunch are all about? Playing characters?

R: No… And if you say something like that again I'll kick your ass.

?: Right.

...

?: Rose, do you think Edgar killed himself because of me?

[Rose sighs.]

R: No, I think he did it because he felt there was no other way, it was die or be showfall's forever plaything to him I feel.

?: …Maybe it was for the best then. Maybe Edgar made the right choice. I would’ve done the same, knowing what I know now. Seeing what I’ve seen.

R: Dude… I… Can I show you something, maybe it will help… Maybe it won't.

?: You’re not going to kill me?

R: No you dumb motherfucker, you haven't given me a reason to.

?: Hm. I never understood you, Rose. I can stand on my own, for a bit at least.

R: Dude… I- Ok storytime I guess. Wanna know why I'm not scared of the security?

?: I suppose not. Where are you going with this?

R: They made me into one. I uh… Don't fucking like talking about it, but if it helps so be it huh?

[The figure shifts their weight again]

R: So. I uh… Hm, it uh was when I died? Or well… I didn't die cuz the gunshot didn't instantly kill me. Oh uh… Yeah my gun backfired on me once, anyway. Yeah a uh woman named Mai dragged my body, turned me into one of those… Things and threw me in the forest.

?: Things? You mean what I saw… That horrible amalgamation of man and machine…?

R: Yeah they uh… God, I'm really going to bring this up to the person who stalked me for months.

[Rose sighs and begins walking to sit in frame.]

R: They… Made my sister into one, it uh… I don't actually fully know if she's even… There anymore

[Rose's legs seemingly move, as she tries to pull something out of her pocket.]

?: You had a sister? They never mentioned that in your files. They must have deleted her off of their databases entirely. I’m sorry for your loss.

R: I don't… Fully think she's dead, I have some hope?

?: That’s good. Hope is the fuel that keeps us burning. It’s how I survived for so long down there. I only ever planned to be gone for a week at most, but I had no idea how big those tunnels were. I had no idea those… things existed. We have no record of any of Showfall’s experiments. And yet they’re essentially our only clients.

?: But I don’t think it matters anymore, now that I know. I’ll try and see if I can un-fuck the watcher program, show them my findings, but… I think it’s over. Showfall has so much more power than I ever realized. Even if we wanted to completely raid the premises, we would stand no chance against those things.

?: It’s only a matter of time before Showfall takes over the Watcher Program. We have held our technology over their head for too long

R: Great… MORE shit to worry about.

?: It won’t be the first time they’ve done this, you know. Showfall has some dark history. Their money is dirty, worse than ours even. We always knew Showfall was ahead of us technologically, but I had no idea they were doing this.

[Rose sighs again.]

R: Wanna know something?

?: Sure, hit me.

R: When I escaped. I had a whole plant on my back. These fuckers did not catch me.

?: Like, a regular potted plant?

R: No. A potted plant in a backpack. They might have been busy with other rebels but like… Dude.

?: That is a rather impressive oversight.

[Rose looks over to her phone, finally noticing the camera.]

?: Has that been recording me?

R: Showfall tech. I hate you SO MUCH.

[End transcript.]

[x-useobwa-x]

༄ are you mad? | 너 화났어?

Jungkook x Reader

➺ Word count: + 1k

╰Due to his PC being broken, Jungkook finds himself visiting the internet cafe daily for hours to play Overwatch. He's an outstanding player, by far better than many of his teammates and he carries his games, but there's one player he always encounters over and over again.

a/n: yooo! I've been itching to write this short thing for a while already! It's nothing special or anything, but I really enjoyed it! It was a nice change from my usual stuff! 🤧👌🏼

Start reading!

⇣ ⇣ ⇣ ⇣ ⇣ ⇣

Jesus fucking christ.

„Fuck!“ he curses under his breath.

This is the seventh time he got sniped down out of the blue and everytime he peeks at the kill-feed, he's burning with rage.

It's the same name. All over again, he's getting killed by the same goddamn player. This has been going on since the day his PC broke.

How it broke in the first place? Well, in his opinion it was because of said player. Even while he was playing at home, he already got hunted down by that one person behind the screen somewhere in the world, making him question all the talent he actually has. At some point he got so angry that he lost his control and kept kicking his computer, loaded with rage.

This is now two weeks ago, and he can't get over the fact that this guy is better than him. Usually he would look up to these better than him, but with this goddamn little shit he just can't get any clear thoughts.

He's so fixated on finding the enemies' Widowmaker that he got too careless and- shoot.

„What the FUCK,“ he yells into his headset, having the majority of the internet cafe turning around and giving him looks.

This damn guy.

Venom. Once again, it was Venom that shot him down.

‚I'm so sick and tired of this dude. Jesus fucking christ.‘

Jungkook is far beyond reaching his limit. This has to be settled, once and for good. He's furiously typing something down in the game-chat.

[Seagull: yo venom, after this game, let's go 1vs1 and lets put an end to this. Its been weeks and you can't seem to fucking stop.]

[Venom: lol what you so triggered for. its just a game bro.]

‚It's just a game? Jesus christ. This... this dude really is something.‘

[Seagull: are you scared?]

[Venom: nope. just not serious about this game. but if you insist, lol sure.]

Jungkook is evily grinning to himself.

This will be the last time he'll get his ass whooped by Venom. That dude might be good with 5 other players on his team that distract Jungkook, but on a 1vs1 battle he definitely will have the upper hand.

„Kook are you sure you want to do that?“ Seokjin calls out to him through the voice chat.

„Yeah I am. I am so sick of getting my ass beaten by that kid, I have to.“

„Well, good luck, because the game's ending now.“

Jungkook doesn't fucking care. He just wants to settle this. He has to show off that he's better, he has to-

‚What the actual fuck?‘

Now he's really pissed. As soon as the game finishes and the ‚Play of the game‘ comes up, he has to fight the urge to throw away the keyboard.

The recap shows one of the many times Venom has shot him down, and it wasn't even a good one in Jungkooks opinion.

[Seagull: wow kinda sad that you got the POTG with that.]

[Venom: you butthurt or smth?]

„B-butthurt??“ he scoffs. „This little...“

„Well. See you, Kook. Good luck with Venom.“ Seokjin says and leaves the group.

He's waiting. He's waiting for Venom to invite him into a private game so he can restore his pride. He is butthurt, but that doesn't mean that he has to admit that to everyone.

[GROUP INVITATION FROM VENOM]

,Finally. Took him long enough.‘ is all he thinks as he clicks ,accept‘.

[Venom: widowmaker 1vs1?]

[Seagull: yes ofc]

[Venom: lol aight]

As both of them enter the game, Jungkooks fingers are itching to turn this around.

‚5...4...3...2...1...go!‘ the game counts down and both of them rush out of their bases to hide.

Jungkook is concentrating with all he has while he zooms into his scope as he tries to track down Venom.

„There you are,“ he whispers as he finds the hated enemy and slowly moves his cursor to steady his aim on Venoms head.

‚Gotcha!‘

Jungkook immediately takes the lead. He's feeling so content right now- they're roughly 20 seconds in and he already shot him down. Using the time until Venom respawns, he repositions himself and hides, scope fixated in the direction of the enemy's base.

‚Come out, come on, show yourself.‘

Just as he finished his thought, he gets shot, and Jungkook can‘t help but stare in disbelief. Where the fuck did he hide? Why didn't he see him? He hates to admit it, but that was a very good play.

[Seagull: yo wtf. that was actually sick,,,]

[Venom: thx broski]

[Seagull: nah we aint bros man. but still, that was dope as fuck.]

The game keeps going like this; both are pretty much equally good, and Jungkook hates that he realizes that. Well, at least he isn't worse. But what actually is worse, is that he starts enjoying playing with Venom. It has been ages that Jungkook met someone that could keep up with his skill.

It stands 29-29 right now, the game limit being 30 kills. This is now going to decide things.

[Venom: this is actually pretty fun. i mean, i have my cursor on your head for the past 2 minutes but i don't want to shoot, i'on want this to be over yet]

[Seagull: ikr, tbh i even feel bad for all the hate and the tons of reports i sent in because of you lmao]

[Venom: EXCUSE ME WHAT CNXND YOU REPORTED ME??? YOU ASSHAT I GOT EXP PENALTY BECAUSE OF YOU I—]

[Seagull: ,,,sOrry??? idk man you really pissed me off ajfksk i hated that you were better its not even that you were better its just that you were always so cOckY OOF i hated it but ur actually?? pretty fun??]

[Venom: lol i'm sorry but your reactions always were gold kfkdls]

[Seagull: yea i,,, i can see that LOL i got pretty worked up. I even crushed my computer in anger oops]

[Venom: you did wHat]

[Seagull: HFKDKDL LET ME BE]

Jungkook is smiling to himself. This guy isn't all too bad after all. Not even half as cocky as he thought. Maybe he'd even end up teaming up with him some time. That thought is immediately cancelled again, though.

Suddenly, his character falls, shot down by the person he just praised for not being as bad as he initially thought. Fuck that.

[Seagull: WHAT THE FUCK BRUH??]

[Venom: lol i thought i'm not your bro]

[Seagull: yEah NOT ANYMORE NOW,,,]

[Venom: are you mad?]

[Seagull: uhh y e s ?? I thought we didn't want to finish this fkdkls]

[Venom: IM SORRY BUT YOUR REACTIONS REALLY JUST ARE SO GOOD I CANT HELP IT-]

Jungkook sighs. He wants to be pissed, but he can't really. He knows it was just meant as a joke, but still, that means the game is over now, and he's kind of feeling sad.

[Seagull: yo... you maybe wanna stay in the group and keep talking a bit? y'know, just being on the title screen and ,,, t a l k]

[Venom: u mean voice chat?]

[Seagull: yea i mean if you want to,,,]

[Venom: uhh sure why not]

Jungkook enables the voice chat and waits for Venom to do the same.

As soon as he gets the notification that his new mate joined the voice chat, there's some sort of awkward silence; it seems like neither of them wants to go first, but then they happen to start talking at the same time.

„Uhh hello?“

„Uhm, hi?“

Silence. Jungkooks eyes widen an unreal amount and his mouth slightly falls open.

There are two things that he would like to point out. First, the voice belongs to a girl, which he didn't expect at all. But the second thing is, that the voice came from nowhere else than the booth right next to him.

He jumps out of his chair and watches as you do the exact same- and there you both are, looking at each other like two idiots.

„You- you're Venom??“

„You are Seagull? Dude we've been both coming here everyday sitting in the same damn places??“

„As if I didn't figure that yet. What the- so you are the person that keeps hunting me down?“ he says as if he's just figured out all the mysteries of the world.

„What do you mean ‚hunting you down‘? YOU are hunting me down!“

The both of you stare at each other, pouts on your faces before you burst into laughter.

What the actual fuck is happening right now? An hour ago he wished to rip the gamer that goes by the name Venom into pieces, and now he's standing infront of you and your smile and the melody of your laughter is sending his stomach tingling. Is this what people call ‚love at the first sight‘? Because if so, that's definitely what's happening right now. A girl? Not to mention a very beautiful one? Playing his favorite game almost better than he himself does? And on top of that she's funny and seems nice so far? He'd be damned if he'd let this opportunity slide. He could be living the dream of many, many men and he's not one to pass a chance he'd like to take.

„You know, what do you think about us just logging out for now and grab a coffee together? Getting to know each other and continuing our talk offline?“ he smirks, eyes big and full of hope.

„Hmm, I guess that does sound fair, I mean, I owe you one for all the teasing and for your broken computer, huh?“

„You totally do,“ he says as a wide smile starts spreading across his lips.