#either you're going to assume a lot of shit abt what i mean by this and what my priorities are‚ or you aren't

[aeide-thea]

like i guess i'm just. thinking a bunch lately about what our various socmed conversations are achieving. like what does Condemning Things Online actually materially accomplish wrt the moral causes we care about. if you didn't already know that eg serious active complicity with the military-industrial complex was worth trying to avoid (even as all american taxpayers are in some less-active sense complicit), is public shaming by the twitterati actually going to belatedly teach you that. (or is it just going to make you retreat further into private spaces that don't challenge yr complicity.) and what is our setting ourselves up in superior judgment as a punitive mob doing to our psyches in the meantime.

like. idk. shaming ana m*rdoll off the internet changes literally nothing about l*ckheed m*rtin's impact on the world, is the thing. it does mean xie no longer has a pulpit from which to dispense dubious moral punditry, but like. if we spent half as much energy cultivating a little healthy skepticism wrt this sort of self-appointed moral influencer as we've collectively spent whipping one another up into Righteously Condemnatory Mob Fury, we'd be saving ourselves from them AND from the next hypocritical grifter—because there's always going to be another one. (and then maybe we'd have some energy left over to throw at the actual MIC issue, and not just at this symbol of it.)

anyway this is just. some muddled thoughts. but i guess it just does feel to some extent like a lot of Internet Outrage is a performative circlejerk that doesn't benefit the non-online causes we supposedly care about even a little bit—it's just scapegoating someone and then getting the catharsis of driving them out, without actually earning that catharsis by accomplishing anything actively positively beneficial.

[leeneir]

Look At Me Please 2.0; Possesive Yandere!Iso x Reader

To those that have given me reqs, I'm terribly sorry for not getting them out yet. My writer's block is such a pain💔 I promise I'm constantly thinking abt them tho and tryna brainstorm but my creative well is nonexistent dibdjs

Anywho, this is a continuation of the last Yandere Iso hc post! Highly recommend that you read the first! :]

Iso didn’t go through with his plans against Yoru that day because he was too happy about going on that date, but that doesn’t mean he forgot. Around a week after your boba date with him, you found Yoru with a serious injury being nursed back to health by Sage, when you asked what happened, he told you to leave. Perhaps a matter of pride?

You bring up the concern with your new boyfriend, Iso. When he responds, he doesn’t sound sympathetic. It wasn’t strange, he barely showed expressive emotion, and he didn’t have the best interactions with Yoru, so you assumed he didn’t really care because they weren’t the greatest friends.

In reality, Iso was fuming that you were concerned about that stupid cocky bastard and how he snapped at you like that. How dare that shit head take your emotions for granted? Sure, he’s the reason Yoru was injured in the first place, but the audacity Yoru had to brush you off. He’ll have to do more damage later.

The day you told Iso you loved him for the first time, something about him changed. He wasn’t shy anymore, he was always initiating intimacy, trying to give you kisses, holding your hand, and overall just a lot more doting and servicing you.

Oh, you’re tired? How could he let this happen! Iso shuts the rest of the world out with both of you in either his or your room, he already put both of your requests for a day off.

Very insistent about sleeping in the same room, you won’t do anything too intimate, he just wants to be with you for the rest of your life night.

At some point, everything becomes a reminder of you. The bare walls of the HQ, the houseplants put around the facility by Skye and Sage, the air that he breaths, he couldn’t get enough of anything.

ALWAYS holding you somewhere. Whether it be on the shoulder while youre talking to someone, the arm, your back, your leg while you're sitting, etc. Iso likes having a hand on you as a way to say “Mine.” to the others.

Every day has a new gift. Your room is starting to get crowded with all of the things he gets for you, Iso has already requested Brimstone to extend your room to make some space.

Man’s is rich and just loves spoiling you. Even if it’s just your favorite snack, or a new piece of clothing, he will literally get anything you want. If you mentioned something you even hinted you’d like, expect to receive it in the following hours to a day. He ordered it with overnight shipping.

Your assigned on a mission and he isn’t sent with you? Oh no!! Someone on the strike team got injured from training, what will we ever do? Everyone else happens to be unavailable for some unknown reasons, except Iso.

During the mission when you request a gun, he’ll immediately get it for you and snap at anyone else who even tries to get it first. Iso kisses you on the forehead before going to his position.

You had to apologize to Reyna for his behavior, she told you that his heart revealed that he wasn’t the good person you thought he was. Which was strange. How was the admiring and loving Iso not who he appeared to be?

One day, have an argument with Iso about going to training with Gekko and the others. He said that there was no need for you to go with them when the two of you could train together later.

You didn’t understand why Iso was so upset, you were just gonna do a few mock battles with other people, what's so wrong with that? You could train with him later too if he wanted to. You brushed him off anyway, finding his attitude very childish right now. Suddenly, he grabs your face in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

“Don’t look at them.” He ordered.

Before you could get a word out, your eyes met his, and you could see the intensity and possession in his eyes which glowed brighter than they normally did. It was terrifying.

You say his name, and suddenly he snaps out of it, letting you go and apologizing profusely. He starts tearing up a bit and saying that he shouldn’t have done that and keeps apologizing, stepping away from you and not letting himself hold you.

You feel guilty when he looks down at his hands, as if there was fresh blood on them, as if he’d just destroyed something precious. You couldn’t help but pull him in for a hug and apologize too. He tries to pull away, saying that he was a horrible person, but you don’t let that happen. So, he embraces you back, burying his face in your neck.

You could tell he was genuinely upset, and reassured him that he wasn’t bad and that you’ll be with him. He doesn’t need to worry about anything, you’ll put off training with the others for another time and stay with him for the rest of the day. He sniffles, pulling you in closer.

What you couldn’t see since his face was on your shoulder was the malicious expression at his successful attempt at keeping you to himself. Hook, line, and sinker.

[my-mt-heart]

Hi MT

Im not gonna lie. I dont care if Carol comes back by saving Daryl,i just want her back with him. It is not such a used trope i think in media, the man saving his girl is still the overused one for me, even if its getting better. And yes, its a repetition of whats gonna happen in Summit, but its good, because it means that they (amc, the writers, gimple, whatever...) know, even if uncounsciously/unwillingly, that Carol is for Daryl the equivalent of Michonne for Rick. Unlike you, i dont consider their stories to be that different. The only difference is canon. Apart from that, for example, as soon as they arrived in Alexandria, Richonne lived together with Carl and Judith. And guess what? Caryl did the same. Until, for God knows why, they had her kind of move in with Tobin. But i disgress. And its ok to disagree.

But it never crossed Amc etc... minds, unlike some shippers would have wanted, to have a carzekiel spin off, or a donnie one. There ks a reason for that. Can u imagine a spin off centered on Rick and anyone else than Michonne? Same for Daryl. Its not Connie or whoever who is gonna save Daryl or whatever. Its Carol.

Caryl might stay forever platonic and never go canon, but i think its safe to assume that at the end of it all (either end of s2 or in another show once everybody reunited with Rick), they re gonna leave together. New Mexico on a bike could still happen.

As for CP character, i think its also safe to assume that they didnt kiss in s1 wich is done filming. If they had, we would have heard abt it by now (there have been a few spoiling photos for other spin offs.... without spoiling too much myself for u or ur readers, even if i think you dont care since you dont plan to watch).

I dont think we have to worry abt Isabel or Isobel or whatever. Yes, he's going to question his loyalty blablabla, but its not gonna last.Have a lot of other things to say, but its too long already. Will wait for another time!

Hi back. Just a heads up, you brought up a few points that I feel strongly about, so if it sounds like I'm yelling at you, I'm not. Like you said, we can disagree, and I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts.

Carol saving Daryl means she'll be active and she'll have a strong emotional drive, so I support that as well. There are still ways to distinguish Caryl's and Richonne's arcs, but I ultimately don't care if it turns out both shows have the women saving the men's asses which then lead to beautiful reunions. If that concerns AMC, then they probably should've stuck to the original premise for the Caryl spinoff. If there's a chance to circle back to the idea of Caryl going on a road trip together like fans wanted in the first place, that would be exciting. I'm all for it.

But just because we can draw parallels between the two couples, even though we can acknowledge that Daryl is in love with Carol just like Rick is in love with Michonne and vice versa, that doesn't mean their stories are the same. They're not. They don't share the same histories or the same experiences or the same traumas. They came together in different ways and they've grown together in different ways. Apples and oranges.

You're right that I won't watch S1 of le spinoff, and that's for a few reasons. One, because I don't condone how it came to exist in the first place. Two, because I want to close the significant pay gap between Norman and Melissa. Three, because it's obvious it won't respect Caryl's relationship or Daryl's character. It doesn't matter that he and CP's character won't actually get together or kiss, etc. What matters is the fact that AMC will tease the shit out of it like they did with Daryl's three other younger non love interests, which subjects Melissa to more ageism even if she's not involved in the story and subjects Caryl fans to more misery even if they don't watch. Melissa's/Carol's absence is going to hang over the show no matter what.

It's infuriating that AMC does so much for their male stars/EP's, more than most of them deserve, but they have no problem throwing the women to the wolves. It's infuriating if they still assume they can take advantage of Caryl/Carol fans' loyalty by playing the same manipulative games they have been for years without delivering on their promises, one of those promises being (unambiguous!) canon. Caryl were written to be romantic, whether their haters want to see that or not. It's important for story integrity, for Daryl's and Carol's character growth, and for onscreen representation. I can't give AMC my viewership/subscription if nothing changes.

[fkinavocado]

Constructive criticism:

I love this fic but I think you unnecessarily tried to put more angst in it by introducing the recent track. It doesn't feel right, I am saying this as a very dedicated reader of this fic. It feels like nothing will ever go right in this fic, as a reader it makes one very hopeless and pessimistic. This angsty twist is overwhelming and it's because there is already so much angst. So many angsty issues have been left untouched since the beginning of part 1. It is kind of weird that the part 2 ended without answering even a single query I had at the beginning of it. We still don't know what happened to the trail, what happened with Emily, what is Niall up to, exactly what happened in Harry's surroundings after Y/N left him. As a reader I have lost patience because part 1 ended when? Almost 6 months back. Here I am not talking about the pace of the updates, that is totally up to you and your schedule I know you are a doctor and have many other priorities than writing a fic (I am glad that you choose to write though 😩 because God knows you are damn good at it)

I love this fic with my whole heart and you are a gem of a writer but with DI now I have lost my patience, I still wish the best for them! They are my babies 🥺

i got a few asks today in the same tone as this one, so rest assured guys, i read them all, but this one touches all the points the others made, prompted by 🍟 anon's ask i'm assuming, so i'll just reply to this one as to not be repetitive

the overall feel i got, not gonna lie, is that y'all are maybe not reading the same fic i'm writing honestly

because so many overlooked the fact that they got married and were both happily expecting a baby for close to 5 months, and just because i didn't include that time period in the latest chapter didn't mean i wouldn't be making future references to it etc

like, it did happen- you're just choosing to focus on the pivotal point of the chapter and disregarding the rest and it is quite hurtful to be honest. you're making it seem like i just write tragic shit with no reprise and it's just not true

there's a lot i want to say but i feel like i'm defending my writing which i feel is weird. this is the story i am unapologetically writing, you can read it or stop reading it, whichever you choose is your own decision and you don't have to justify it to me

i don't update as often as i'd like, that's true. and as i've said in reply to quite a lot of anons- the whole thing with emily, her family and the trial is going to have a closure too

you either "trust the process" or you don't. i feel like a lot of you wrote me that i'm "breaking your hearts" and i dunno abt you, but personally i love the stories that break my heart the most, so that's what i'm writing from personal preference. and i never claimed otherwise!

everything that has happened has a reason and a good one at that. i'm not writing angst for the sake of angst

as far as moving on... i have fics i've been waiting for years for an update on. literal years. and i'm still not over them.

if you just don't like the fic anymore i think that's perfectly valid and i respect that, but i can't say i understand moving on for having "lost patience" because... for one, like i said, there's a ton of progress in a very small time frame that you're choosing to overlook, and second, i just can't relate to that from my own experience as a reader...

i appreciate all the messages nonetheless, and what can i add to all this other than i'm sorry you're disappointed but at the same time... i'm not sorry for writing the story i am writing. i honestly love this story, the good, the bad, the ugly, it's my labor of love and while i appreciate all the points you guys made, i wouldn't change a single thing about it.

[sleepyjuniper]

For the recent Reblogs about what the discord should be about, I suppose it depends on what you want it's focus to be. XP Do you want it to be a place where you give updates about your work like you do here on Tumblr, or do you want it to be a place where people can gather and chat about possible Headcannons, or ideas when it comes to SB or DCA (Still have no idea what that means. XD) related content. But all in all. It depends on what you yourself want to try and make it to be.

Now as for the main purpose of this ask. I'm not sure if this counts as a spoiler bit or not, but before the metaphorical shit hit the fan in SB, do you Headcannon that the Daycare was closed down before the events of the game, or was it still up and functional, only with a very Neurotic Sundrop as the only Caretaker (Timebomb) for the Munchkins and kiddies?

I think it would be a server mainly focused on my own fic, so I could have a channel where I post vague as fuck questions about how interactions should go, or like, shit like how ovens work and other out of context things. As well as that, it could also have channels where people can post their own headcanons, or flesh out ideas for fics, or share art or get help with art (assuming there's enough art experts in the server to provide advice). Maybe a designated channel for gushing about fics we like.

I don't often have anything to share about my fic unless it's crumbs or updates, so the only time I really get to talk about it is when new people read it and send asks with praise or questions. There's.. not been a lot lately, and there's also not been much progress on the current chapter either. Aside from straight up spoiling all my plans, I don't see a way of finishing the chapter any faster. I don't ever have anything to draw for future scenes either, so it's not like a lot of new content would be found if you were joining the server purely for that. But if you're merely wanting to gush abt it to me, that would be more than welcome and in fact desired.

For your question: the daycare was shut down prior to Gregory arriving in SB. That's both based on evidence in the canon game, and on the way I've set up the fic. Sun had been alone for many months before Gregory showed up.

[bi-sapphics]

yeah i am also a lot more in the sapphic side but like this is my exception, im not even sure if i can't "shoot my shot" but if so it'll have to wait and... idk i still feel like people might think i am just faking butchness and sapphism or whatever i don't even look like an average butch but people can def sense my masculinity and ... one of the things that i like abt him is that he does get these gender feels ???? i might've gotten too emotional sending my original ask, anyways, ur blog has always made me feel safer as a butch who IDs as sapphic as a mess specific term, i always feel more welcome in bi-er butch blogs like not just "butch is open!!!" type of people, the "bi butches i love you" blogs

what i can tell you for sure is that butch is inherently an identity, not just a role in relationships. for some it's solely the former, for some it's more the latter, and for some it's mixed and/or inextricable. i think for you, it would help yourself to say your butchness revolves around the former. in fact, maintaining that being butch is your *identity* is something most lesbians will agree with and build their foundation of understanding the subculture on, whether they acknowledge the rest of its expanded community history or not. this alone solidifies bisexuals being included in the queerness of taking on butch/femme among the rest of the arguments, especially if we're basing this on relationship status and who we're dating at the time (or plan on dating). besides, if you're masculine and "qualify" otherwise anyway then the shoe fits. assuming this is going on irl then nobody's really going to give you any shit for it unless you just hang around nit-picky biphobic people who love to hate randomly. it simply doesn't matter in the long run and nobody's going to care at the end of the day. the term doesn't "belong" to anyone and is also used to describe appearance regarding some straight women in non-queer spaces. that's just how everyday language works, it isn't used wrong in any way if you look at the bigger picture.

that being said, a lot of butch/femme focused lesbians don't understand this, nor do they care to. this results in backlash and gatekeeping, the degree of which varies from how mean people want to be online (and there are much more than plenty of nasty ones). worrying about that is perfectly understandable; even i suffer from anxiety over it. i can't exactly help you through totally getting through this, as again, it's complex and i feel like my offer would be too vague and generic. but i can emphasize that you should definitely keep doing what you said about feeling more welcome in bi-positive blogs specifically that mention and talk about the importance of including us. this, and blocking ahistorical biphobes while refusing to engage with them. if your content feed is full of bisexuals being unapologetic for taking up space, that should build your confidence overtime. i know i've come a long way, from finding community to knowing i can rely on what i have to support myself. i realize that i don't have to justify myself if i don't want to, even though i do anyway in order to protect and educate as best i can. that's my choice, but it shouldn't be a requirement for everyone else (hence why i wish to spread the right information myself).

i still can't give you good advice on the guy you like (not to mention that it'd be better far more more productive if it were personally tailored to your relationship with him), but i hope this gives you just a little comfort for interacting with spaces online. no one has the right to deny or erase your identity because of who you're with, which goes both for your butchness and your bisexuality. you can't stop them from doing so, but you don't have to give them what they want or pay them any attention either.

[troglobite]

aldskjf

no one ever asks me anything. it's late, i'm tired, i feel kind of like shit, and generally speaking, nobody ever asks me anything.

sometimes that's chill. esp considering i don't really have a lot going on in my life. (and hi, if you're a mutual/friend on here & reading this, you're probably an exception and/or not someone who fits this 'problem' i've just uncovered/am talking abt. i'mt ired idk if that made sense, but it's probably chill)

but nobody. asks me how anything's going. or abt what i'm doing. or abt what i like and am interested in. or abt my life in general. or other ppl in it. or how i'm feeling.

...like nobody* (*see above parenthetical) asks me anything.

like this is just. my life.

EVERY problem i ever have, like as in any and every conflict, invariably comes from ppl assuming what i need, or how i feel, or what i mean, and not just ASKING ME.

i've said it before in therapy, but specifically just abt boundaries and conflict.

but this shit is just TRUE abt EVERY PART OF MY LIFE.

if someone asks me a question, it's a small talk question where they don't really care abt the answer. even if i answer sincerely, hoping they'll ask more.

like i'm fucked either way

either i answer a lot, in-depth, hoping that conveys that i want to talk about it--and they decide That's Enough so they don't ask any further

OR

i give a polite answer with implications and gaps/questions to be fulfilled on their end, and they ignore them

what is it about me that no one cares to ask or follow up? no one cares to listen? why am i SO uninteresting to basically everyone i know* (*again, previous parentheticals)

i try to remember to ask, but now it's like--OH. that's why i get so tired of socializing. i'm having to either 1. carry the entire conversation by asking questions and trying to offer up anything abt myself that NOBODY follows up on, or 2. listening as everyone talks abt anything and everything in the world except for ME and MY LIFE.

i have so little practice talking abt myself when ppl actually WANT me to, that i fucking panic. i don't know how to operate under those circumstances, bc they happen SO FUCKING RARELY.

hi anxiety tremors, thanks for showing up as i have a fucking massive breakthrough that DOESN'T HELP ME AT ALL.

i literally can't do anything about this. in a previous friend group i no longer talk to, this was the core issue. and i literally--i literally tOLD THEM. I WANT THEM TO ASK ABOUT ME AND MY LIFE. that was it! that if i brought something up, i'd like them to ask me abt it instead of shutting me down!

and they didn't. in fact, they avoiding asking me ANY questions about ANYTHING even HARDER.

i sort of casually talk to one of them still bc i never really had an issue w her and apparently her not with me, bc we still talk.

but like. fucking christ man even she, incredibly kind and happy to listen, commiserate, or celebrate w you as the case may be, just DOESN'T ASK ABOUT ME.

i fucking asked her abt dming for the first time! if she had fun w her grandparents over the holidays! abt bg3 and what she's playing!

and i jstu!!!! GET NOTHING IN RETURN

fucking FUCK man have i been CURSED??? what is WRONG with me??? am i just literal poison??? poison incarnate???

god i'm ACTUALLY having an anxiety attack right now this is a horrifying realization

like i'm speaking in sweeping statements about basically 30 years of life, OBVIOUSLY ppl have asked me things about myself at SOME points.

but a lot of the time, they ask me questions hoping for specific answers--and i either know what answer they want but i can't give it bc it's not true, or i fail their test and give the wrong answer so they no longer care.

like i have a SPECIFIC instance of that in my mind. right now. easy recall.

god no fucking wonder--all those quizzes--the shit online where ppl are like "how easily do you open up to people?"

the answer is barely at all AND IT'S NOT EVEN REALLY MY FAULT/ON PURPOSE??? IT'S NOT MY CHOICE???

i offer what i can and NOBODY* FUCKING FOLLOWS UP ON IT WHAT THE ACTUAL SHITTING FUCK

i forgot sometimes ppl also ask something and then just don't care abt the answer so they don't engage past ignoring me or offering platitiudes, whichever is easiest at the time

i just never noticed this. i've like. noticed it in small case studies or situations. thinking it was only ever specific ppl who didn't care.

but now it's everyone* in literally every* interaction i have. forever.

and it became starker bc...i fucking ghosted a friend group for this shit. and i went/stuck w a different one that was NOT a one to one replacement, that was inherently different. and still the same thing happened.

but now given time and space and being literally so isolated for so long. like for a few years i thought it was just. idk.

i thought maybe no one like asking abt your masters degree if they don't understand the field or whatever. and maybe that is true in general!

but then nobody. like. cared after i graduated. nobody cared abt me struggling w jobs and work.

and then i thought--well i keep saying i have nothing in my life, so surely that's my own fault, right? i just don't have anything to talk abt anyway.

but now i DO. we're moving. my health stuff is moving apace. sort of. i have a part-time "job" sort of. i've been trying out fun little projects.

i mean fucking CHRIST man i just--

i can't even get them to ASK ME ABOUT THE DND CAMPAIGN THAT I'M RUNNING FOR THEM

i've tried like a DOZEN times to get them to guess about future games, or where things are going, or what they think the Plot is, etc.

god it's the most fucking milquetoast responses, if i even get ANY. and sometimes it's JOKE responses.

i've had to give the fuck up.

and i kept thinking, well that's a stupid petty thing to be upset abt since i can't tell them anything in detail.

but i literally have to FORCE them all to listen to anything.

meanwhile rping with each other and talking about their characters? easy as breathing. never shut up about it.

nobody. asks me. anything.

unless it's about them, something i've done for them (but it can't be something that I'M excited abt, it just has to explicitly serve them), even when they ask for my advice, they never take it or listen. it never helps.

even when they ask me for selfish things i'm apparently not enough. like. fuck, man. what the actual fuck.

this is why i get so tired of being told to initiate relationships and hangout time. no amount of doing that, of sharing or asking or engaging or listening or offering, has changed anything for the majority of relationships in my life. even casual ones.

i literally don't know what to do with this information, bc in general ppl don't LISTEN to me very well, if at all. they remember some things, but not others. or they remember something abt me in a way that reflects a misunderstanding of me. like i just.

but i repeatedly REPEATEDLY ask for ppl to ask me things. to just ASK ME. just COMMUNICATE W ME. PLEASE.

and they don't. without fail.

the irony is that i've spent 3 decades getting used to this and being unable to fix it myself, so if ppl DID start asking me abt myself, i'd probably respond in a way that they hate or don't understand and want to bail anyway.

i fundamentally don't understand what it is abt me that makes me so uninteresting, so unlikable, so unmemorable, so unimportant. i wish i COULD know so i could FIX it. i've spent almost 30 years trying. and i just keep failing. so idk what to do.

well anyway

there goes the rest of my night.

i'm definitely gonna be So Fucking Normal w company over tomorrow and a possible dnd game (me as player) on sunday, or alternative possible jackbox session on sunday.

as if the muscles in my legs weren't spasming enough from stress. not that anybody* would know WHY that is since they don't fucking ask me anything :))))))) it's fine i'm not very interesting anyway apparently.

addendum:

i also love how my problem is fundamentally that everyone in my entire life has only ever made me feel weak pathetic and unimportant in so many insidious ways, where approval and appreciation for my presence hinges on whether or not i can give them something material in exchange for my presence--and so wanting to push back against that makes me sound narcissistic.

wehhhh nobody asks me abt my life or shows interest in me :(((((((

but like, that's fucked up, right? like that's NOT NORMAL right? like MOST PEOPLE ask each other questions or express more than disinterested-but-i'm-pretending-to-be-nice responses, right???

it's to the point where i fundamentally cannot see my value in conversations or relationships unless i'm doing something for someone.

where if i NEED something, i'm afraid that will make them leave me.

where i talk AT ALL abt my life, i'm met with silence or "polite" disinterest, so i just. don't talk abt it.

i'm just there to respond to ppl and ask the questions and offer the responses that i never get in return.

like trying to get me to believe that i'm Good At Things like. idk if that's helpful. bc then that's just me emotionally-monetizing that thing and figuring out how ppl already exploit me for that thing, or alternatively, how to get better at it so ppl Like Me More.

i get so mad when ppl act like making friends and facing rejection is so easy when it's like--I FACE REJECTION DAILY FROM PPL WHO PURPORT TO LOVE ME.

AND NOTHING I SAY OR DO SEEMS TO CHANGE THAT, NO MATTER WHO IT IS THAT WE'RE TALKING ABT HERE

"stop caring abt whether ppl like YOU and start evaluating whether YOU like THEM"

then i like basically nobody*, bc i would like ppl who show interest in me that's actually genuine. and that is. essentially nobody*.

i don't want to believe that's true. it has been true so far. and idk what to do to make it different.

i also think it would be absolutely fucking evil for it to somehow be MY FAULT. that, despite me working on how much i devalue myself and think that i'm worthless and a fucking nuisance taking up air, no matter how much i work on changing my habits in relationships--like

for it to STILL be MY fault. that ppl can pick up on "oh they kinda hate themself" or "they seem ashamed to be talking abt themself"

but then their response, 1000000% of the time, is to REINFORCE THOSE THINGS BY IGNORING AND BYPASSING THEM IN CONVERSATION???

so they can pick up that i am fucking traumatized but they can't "read between the lines" when i'm VISIBLY EXCITED about a topic and talking about it AT LENGTH and want to SHARE with them???

how am i the "socially inept" one when i've had to spend my entire life trying to figure people out so they hate me less? so i--

just fuck all of this. my hands hurt bc my disability sucks and i'm drowning in prolonged stress.

*refer to first parenthetical i'm not typing multiple disclaimers, my hands hurt and i recognize that me complaining abt my shit inevitably hurts someone else's feelings bc that's just the kind of shitbag i am, apparently. so the disclaimer is there. it's true. but i'm tired.

[localwindmage]

Okay, I refuse to say who I am (all I'll say is you know me through ST) but I'm asking on here because this isn't directly related to skib BUT.

I absolutely ADORE your art. No, that doesn't do it justice. I am GUSHING over your art. It's so YUMMY and DELICIOUS and DELECTABLE and EXTRAVAGANT UONSIINOJKSNJKNSKJN /platonic

Like. How???? Just how??? How do you do it CCTV????? You literally ACE anatomy, everytime I've tried to start a drawing in the past,,, what, month? maybe more? I start with the head, have to restart about 15 times and then give up and cry in a corner. You can like. Make such pretty drawings with amazing posing. If it's not clear already I am in awe

AND. ANIMATION. You've made like 3 animations so far and ALL of them are REALLY good. How do you get so good at it so quickly. Either you had experience before krita animation or you're using some sort of dark magic

OH YEAH you use Krita. That's an accomplishment of its own. I tried Krita once and got immediately overwhelmed by the UI and uninstalled it

You're like a big inspo to me n stuffs and your also a really cool and nicies person outside of your art aswell!!

OKAY lastly. The character design. They're just SO unique like there's so many amazing oc's on this site but yours are just so. nrgghhhhhhh /pos /gen

Okay that's all. Sorry for the wall of text!!

(feel free to delete this ask if this makes you feel uncomfies n stuff!!)

I DO NOT HAVE A JAWDROP EMOJI ON ME BUT THIS MADE ME GAPE MY MOUTH OPEN READING /POS

iwiwuhsnrfkfhg thank you so much 😭 this means a whole lot to me

I accidentally rambled too hard so I’m putting it under a cut lmao

I never considered myself really good at anatomy, but I have a huge thing for like. Robot or doll anatomy. Not the same as human anatomy but it scratches the itch in my brain a lot tehee

I also always forget, a LOT of my poses are pretty dynamic. Funny thing is, back when I started dynamic posing, I didn’t even know what dynamic meant 😭 so every time someone said “that pose is so dynamic” my idiot brain would go “? no it’s not?” because I’ve just gotten so used to it

Krita was automatically installed on the computer I use (it’s an art computer so it has like a HUUUGE SCREEN to draw on it’s brilliant) and admittedly I had the outdated version for YEARS 😭 I wasn’t aware until watching like 200 animation tutorials because they all had new features I didn’t)

But also the best thing abt Krita is, it’s free! And I’ll confess, when I started out on Krita, I BARELY used like 95% of the stuff, hell, I didn’t even know what LAYERS were at the time (I was an MS Painter in my early days) so I completely understand how overwhelming it is, but after like… SIX years, I finally get at least half of it now! The fact it’s free but has SO MUCH you can use is actually brilliant!

With animations, I’ll say, IT’S PAINFUL AS FUCK it’s actually very stressful but fun at the same time, and often, despite how low quality my animations are, they’re worth all the pain at the end of the day. Never judge an animator ever again, that shit’s HARD. Audio syncing is Even Harder (ESPECIALLY ON KRITA BECAUSE IT GOES OUT OF SYNC IF YOU DON’T ALWAYS PLAY IT FROM THE VERY BEGINNING)

As for character design… I don’t even know </3 whatever comes in my head happens really. I have nothing on this one besides like. Inspo coming from places every now and then but that’s all.

I’ve been doing art for about 8 years now, and in those 8 years, general society would assume you’re a master artist by then, but that’s simply not true. EVERYONE has their own different pacing, patience (especially patience), style and motivation. One of my irl friends learnt human anatomy in Less Than A Month and meanwhile I’ve been drawing solely cartoons my whole 8 years.

When it comes to art, Bad Art Is Always Good. You NEED to start off somewhere, and every “bad” art you make, you have something to learn from it! Not to mention, art is a Self Expression! If it’s bad, sometimes you can let it be bad! THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG IN ART!!! If you see art tutorials like “YOURE DRAWING X WRONG, DRAW IT LIKE THIS” uh fuck those tutorials really.

Art tutorials should merely be advice and suggestions, but not a MUST DO. Maybe you can follow the ‘correct’ way or you can just go “ok” and keep doing what you originally do. It’s YOUR art and it should be for YOUR satisfaction

Btw, TRACING CAN BE GOOD FOR PRACTISE AS LONG AS YOU DON’T CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN ART AND PRETEND YOU DIDN’T TRACE! Whenever tracing poses or such, always credit the image you traced off of and, please refrain from tracing other artists!! References are EXTREMELY helpful so you can get the basic shapes and such, and some art tutorials can be REALLY good, especially if you hope to learn rendering!

Also, I’m a cartoonist saying this, but LEARN ANATOMY! My favourite rule in art I’ve learnt is, LEARN THE RULES, SO YOU LEARN HOW TO BREAK THEM. Art is freedom. Draw whatever the hell you want. Will it be bad? Sure it can be, but that’s part of the fun too! Express yourself and embrace the art you make!

And if you decide AI generation counts as art, sincerely, you’re not welcome here. /srs

[ilikebigants]

if you think that a story where yen is depicted as the Only One With A Braincell or the Mom Friend is good rep then your iq is room temperature. just because those are Positive Qualities abstractly doesnt mean its her character. its not. she's a bitch (lovingly), and she's ciri's mother (ciri literally asks to be called Cirilla of Vengerberg) and frankly demoting her to Vague Fandom Archetype No.3 (that is almost always exclusive to a female love interest) is demeaning. she doesn't have to be your fav character, and you don't even have to care abt her, but if you can't see that in the majority of fandoms that people do this to female love interests to promote the popular white mlm ship then there's a problem with your critical thinking. ciao

A) if you're gonna be bitchy online, at least have the courage to do it with your full chest and not on an anonymous ask box. Did you really have THAT little faith in yourself?

B) who the fuck said anything about representation? No one? Thought so. It's crazy what one person can do when putting words into someone's mouth! Crazy, ain't it?

C) You may not understand this, which would be understandable considering this is the stance you're taking, but 2 things can be true at the same time. I can understand Yen as a character and hell, even enjoy her without wanting her to be a mega serious love interest in every single thing I read. The exact same way I'm not expecting Yen-centric or Ciri-centric media, especially fanmade media, to have the most amazing, deep and thoughtful "representation" for every other character. And that doesn't go for just Yen! It goes for ALL the fucking characters. I don't give a fuck if they act a bit, or even a lot, OOC. I don't give a fuck about that ESPECIALLY if they're not supposed to be the focus. If YOU have a problem with it, well, go cry somewhere else.

Consider this: in a fic where its supposed to be comedic with some romance/angst on the side, in which Yen isn't even the focus, I can fucking enjoy Yen being the voice of reason or the "mom friend" as you put it to whichever idiots is the pairing the same exact way I can enjoy Vesemir or Eskel or an OC to be the voice of reason or the "mom friend". Wooooow. It's almost as if it's fanfiction. Who would've thunk. And guess what! SHE CAN STILL BE A BITCH! They're not mutually exclusive! Just because she's the voice of reason in something doesn't mean she's been stripped of personality! It just means that, just like every single other character, she can take a supportive role! Who gives a flying shit about the popular mlm ship? This goes for non shipping fics, for wlw fics, for ANY fic for that matter.

And for her relationship with Ciri, I'd have a problem with it If it's assumed to be nonexistent or shaky, which in most media *I* consume (did you see the "I" there? It exists because I'm talking about MY consumption habits, not whatever the hell you consume) their relationship is good at worst and ridiculously close at average

And frankly, I can't believe I have to say this, but I didn't mention or even imply that the villanisation of the female cast doesn't happen in this or other fandoms. I simply said that I don't see it as much in the fics I consume. That's it. I didn't get on a high horse and call everyone stupid, nor said that what they were talking about was false or even faulty. I didn't even disagree in any way with the post. The only thing that could qualify and could only qualify if you take a few hundred leaps in logic was me asking for clarification on what counts or not. That's it. And yet, You decided to act like a cunt, and on top of that a cowardly one. Please, touch some grass.

Ciao indeed.

Am I being mean here? Definitely. But seriously, if you believe you disagree with someone on something as inconsequential as imaginary character characterisation, then either keep it to yourself or at MINIMUM be polite. Be an adult.

[tantou]

hello may i please have a shisui take because im struggling to write him and you're the authority 🥺🥺

nrjendfjdf 🥺 omg little ol me... THIS IS KIND OF A BROAD QUESTION AND I'M SOMEWHAT PEA BRAINED but I shall try to deliver. forgive me for my disorganized rambling I am extremely unmedicated.

under a read more because this got embarrassingly long

oh boy. shisui. where to start with this guy. listen I know he was on screen for all of 5 minutes but he contains multitudes inside my head and heart ok.

i'll start by listing off what we Do know about shisui!

in the databook he is described as honest and warmhearted (;-;) and I feel like that's a basic but pretty good assessment yeah. itachi himself told naruto that he felt shisui was a lot like him (you have shisui's soul) (lots to unpack there) HIS AGE IS UNCONFIRMED EVERYWHERE so we're only going off theories but I think its generally accepted that he's 3yrs older than itachi so! he graduated the academy at age 7, top of his class, and in that same year he uh. kinda sorta. let envy get the best of him and let his teammate die an avoidable death, unlocking his mangekyo. and he only revealed this to itachi when he was about to die lmao. he became a jonin at 11 and danzo ended his shit at around 16? the rest is fuzzy because kishi only created him cuz he realized he needed a way for itachi to unlock his own mangekyo sooo. that's where fanon jumps in

i think most of the fandom characterizes him as Itachi's silly little friend that follows him around and cracks jokes and that's fine and everything but! i do wanna point out that the only time we see him act in such a way is when he's around itachi and sasuke, two people he's very close with, and without any info on his mother and knowing that shisui's father was in poor health and likely passed while shisui was still pretty young, we could assume itachi and sasuke are the people he is closest to, period. so it's only natural that he would be comfortable enough to let his guard down around them like that, but the same cannot be said for random villagers or his fellow jonin etc. don't me wrong i think generally he's seen as a very kind and dependable shinobi, very loyal and always willing to lend a hand to those in need, but still yknow is competent and professional and Lethal. i mean. the guy had a flee on sight order in every enemy nation and earned a big name for himself while other kids his age were eating playdoh or making paper airplanes in class. he was a big deal, danzo himself refered to shisui as the strongest uchiha of his time (which i think is very fucking funny btw like fuck fugaku i guess jNFDJF) i am Getting Off Track my bad

ITS HARD TO PIN HIM DOWN TBH especially depending on what you consider canon or not. in the show he's fairly serious, in the ova he is a teddy bear, in the novel he's very Big Bro-like. in the novel anime fillers he is. my sweet baby angel he's very focused on mentoring itachi and its clear that shisui is very good at reading itachi from the start. across the board i wanna say he can feel the stress and stiffness radiating off itachi in waves and he just. wants to help. he knows exactly what buttons to push and how to rustle his feathers and how to set him at ease as well. oh no rox we're getting off track again fuck ITS HARD TO TALK ABT SHISUI AND NOT BRING UP ITACHI they were lichrally besties. okok.

i think the lighthearted cheeky interpretation of him is fine, I do think he's the type to make bad jokes in uncomfortable situations in an attempt to lighten the mood, but, yknow he tries to be sensitive about things either way. we're shown he's analytical and smart and fairly cautious. and he's uchiha, so he's got big big feelings tucked inside his little body. i imagine he carries a lot of grief inside that he doesn't let people see, his priority is helping others and he doesn't want anyone to fuss over him. Silly Characters That Are Profoundly Sad flavored apple juice. his teammate died because of his jealousy and his father fell ill after the war and shisui took on the responsibility of being the breadwinner of the family, which is A Lot for a young kid? in the novel he mentions that his father doesn't recognize him anymore, sounding like he's trying to fight off the sadness he feels and quickly changes the subject because he doesn't want to worry itachi. shisui takes on a lot of burdens and he would've kept taking on even more had danzo not stopped his plan to use kotoamatsukami on the clan and. brainwash them. (imagine walking around the uchiha compound knowing your clan is under an unbreakable genjutsu /you/ put them under) which is terribly fucked up but i think it shows what happens when kids are given these godlike powers? itachi and shisui were running out of time. they knew they needed to find a solution /fast/ to avoid civil war. we saw what happened with itachi and how far he went lol but shisui wasn't far behind him? it's hard to say if he would've gone along with the whole. slaughtering the clan thing. part of me wants to say he would've been naive enough to go along with it like itachi did. shisui himself said he was willing to do whatever it took to keep itachi and sasuke together as a family. maybe his idea of love was just as fucked up as itachi's? if things had turned out differently, would he have turned his sword against the clan himself? alleviating itachi of that burden, getting his hands dirty if it meant his two most important people were kept safe? he's shouldered guilt and grief before and survived, partly because he had itachi in his life, "spending time with you helped me pick myself up again, bit by bit. I'm really grateful to you,"

i don;t know if i see him being close to many people really? i think he almost doesn't trust himself enough for that.

imo he is an opportunist. he knows ppl perceive him as charming and trustworthy and he will use that to his advantage! not above flirting with people to try and get information out of them if the situation calls for it

overall i think shisui's someone that's capable of carrying a lot of darkness and keeping it hidden behind a smile. he's an uchiha, morals often go out the window when Love is involved. I JUST THINK EXPLORING A DARKER SIDE OF HIM WOULD B FUN

good god i talk so mcuh my bad DO I GET INTO THE CRACK HCS NOW? he is a MESS in the kitchen. worse than itachi, nearly sets the place on fire each and every time but somehow? the food always comes out great?? 0/10 process 10/10 result. (7/10 if u ask itachi but that's only bc he's salty about his own cooking skills)

he was always super physically affectionate w itachi and I feel like. he might've grown up touch starved himself? constantly training and taking on missions, his father was unavailable and. in my head I imagine his mother dipped soon after his death so shisui was just. abandoned. deeply lonely but tried to not make it obvious. eventually itachi takes notice of this and starts inviting him over for dinner a lot. insists shisui spends the holidays at his house so he won't have to celebrate alone. oh that's not crack that's just sad huh

is it fucked up that in a modern high school au i always imagine him being the captain of the swim team LMAO. cracking open a sugar free redbull at 6:30am. stayed up til 2am playing cod the night before. no wait he wouldn't play cod unless he's playing against obito, PERSONALLY I think he'd be into the uncharted game series or assassins creed or hades

he orders the most annoying elaborate starbucks secret menu drinks and itachi is EMBARRASSED to be seen with him in public. he's gonna ask for 15 pumps of this and 20 shakes of that but at least he leaves a good tip.

i think a lot about him and obito being good friends in an au where yknow Everyone lives and nothing bad happens. "race u to the hokages office" "who can make itachi laugh first" "bet I can drink more sake than u can" etc generally just giving itachi a massive headache

he's extremely observant and quick to pick up on any little changes or mood shifts. he respects his elders but Does like to push his luck sometimes, only because he knows he can get away with it.

he'd indulge itachi's sweet tooth a lot, take him out for dango or ice cream when he can tell itachi's just brooding at home or has been nonstop training for hours. he also strikes me as a big gift giver? he's not one to really overthink it, if he sees smth he thinks someone might like or need he'll pick it up for them. i like hcing that itachi's necklace was a gift from shisui aha </3 gifts could be anything from jewelry to a new set of shuriken to an Air Fryer or a funny-looking stuffed frog plushie.

i think my brains shutting down i've been rambling for 3hrs and I feel like I said a whole lotta nothing kJNDFDKJFN I'm sorry this is so long but this is what happens when u ask an adhd riddled gemini abt their fav boy

[appsa]

Okay so you asked for asks but if this is too messy just ignore this, but like, you wouldn't happen to have any advice for figuring out if you're lesbian or bi would you?😅 Cause I've been pretty certain I was a lesbian for the past 6 years, but recently I've been thinking: shit, maybe some guys can be sort of attractive, maybe? But on the other hand I'm thinking that could also be because I've been incredibly isolated since covid started and I'm just getting really lonely, and also I'm on HRT which kills pretty much any interest in actual sex for the next few years at least. But I'm also coming at this from a slightly different angle than usual because I'm a trans girl, and my attraction to girls was never really in question (and still isn't, still very sure of that at least), but I'd only vaguely considered attraction to guys before and just assumed "nah not for me". Anyway, sorry for being A Mess in your inbox, my head's just weird rn cause I thought I'd dodged a sexuality crisis with the gender identity crisis but guess not😅

Aaa ur fine dw. I may not be able to relate fully cause im not a trans woman but sjdgdj i rly do understand the "am i bi or lesbian" dilemma 😭 i havent figured it out either so unfortunately i dont have any advice other than just like. being open to it. I find that its easier to figure things out once ive tried them, rather than agonize over who i am and what it would mean for me to be one or the other. There's just no rushing it unfortunately sjddj you find out when your brain decides you're ready to find out 😔 my advice would just be to take it easy and not worry abt it too much till you get the opportunity to actually experiment n stuff (that's what i try to do hdkdjdjd).

Also im p sure ive read somewhere that going thru hrt does often cause sexuality change? So like you can reach out to other trans ppl who have gone thru this before if that would help im sure they'd have a lot of valuable insights abt it. Anyway good luck with this and im wishing u the best hope u have a good day ❤

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

[8lah8lah]

TALKING ABT BRAS AGAIN MAYBE TMI WARNING OTL

ive been struggling with bra sizes lately cause my underbust isss im pretty sure 29.6 inches if the line after the half line means .6? otherwise just 29.5 and if you dont know a lot abt bra sizes the 2 sizes in band closest to me are 28 and 30, and if you're inbetween sizes you go for the bigger size and Also i'm very bony/have a tendancy to feel Strangled in bras so you'd ASSUME yeah just go for the 30 problem solved! Except. thanks to the issue i mentioned in the last post, i think most bras in a 30 band size are for people with 28 inch underbusts??? (that or the thing i use to look for bra sizes might just be very biased towards people Even Smaller than me) which means i cannot just look around the Dozens of 30dd bras and be done with it! and i learned with my most recent bra anything above 30 inches exactly is too big for me, so i go to look for all 29.6-30 inch band-sized bras that are still in my general cup size range (c-dd, i Think there was like one or two ddd's that could theoretically fit me but. outliers) cause i have a better idea of what to look for right? and as a side note, as mentioned in tags of my last post i cannot fucking *STAND* tall gores they are unwearable for me i could just tough it out but i already have 2 tall gore bras i dont wanna get more, And i need bras that are more shallow in the cup, AND i need bras that are Wide Enough in the cup so they do not cut into the sides of my tits. so i go to look for bras that fit this criteria of 29.6-30 inch band, shallow, SHORT IDEALLY NEARLY NONEXISTANT GORE, and Preferably wide enough cup/underwire i find. a whopping total. of maybe Ten bras. i find 1/2 (they seem to be functionally the same just one had lace the other didnt) bras that have like, all my measurements down to a T, so im like holy shit?!?!?!!! BUT. AFTER A JOURNEY OF SEARCHING JUST ABOUT EVERYWHERE, IT'S ONLY BEING SOLD IN *ONE* PLACE, FOR EIGHTY UNITED STATES DOLLARS, AND THEY DO NOT MAKE IT IN THE SIZE THAT'D FIT ME LITERALLY PERFECTLY ANYMORE CAUSE FUCK 30 BANDS! i find another bra that'd fit me pretty fucking well and im like wowowwoow, but the size that'd fit me is only shown as "65E", i can't find the exact bra anywhere on any site so i go for the closest i can find on the original manufacterers website, but it only uses US sizing, so i go to the French Version of the site and manage to find something ?? close ??? to what i found, look at the size chart cause the US version had a "this is what this size is in other countries" but it didnt have a 65e so i assumed hm maybe they just don't think americans know what this is/care, but it STILL didnt have that size on the french version so i look up a converter and guess what. 65e=30dd in american sizing. They Stopped Making 30 Bands. i find another bra that'd fit great and as a bonus is also pretty cute but i can't find it being sold fucking Anywhere At All, i find ANOTHER bra that'd fit good (sidenote 2 of these great-fitting bras were strapless??? wonder if thats a coincidence or if strapless bras just like my boob shape more) and thankfully i could find the exact bra easy, can't find my size, look at the reviews and find someone saying "i've had this bra for a few years and it fits great, i'm so sad they stopped making 30 bands though". i find another bra that'd fit pretty good and also is Very cute but i don't ?? thhhhink??? it's being sold anymore, or at least not in my size anymore?????? but the site and seller and any other sites selling that brand were in full japanese, so. there's another that'd fit me great but either they changed the name of it or it stopped being sold?? i wasn't sure after all this there is a total of Three bras that could possibly fit at least like 2 of my criteria, one of which is;

a sports bra that is expensive + i don't really want a sports bra that Fits Great i dont do Physical Activity enouh for it if i needed one id just go to the store pick up some 12$ 32c/d bra use it twice and be done with it sports bras are for Bare Minimum tit staticifying not... being some amazing perfectfitting garment imo + i don't really like how sports bras look why spend 80 dollars on smth that's gonna de-boob me anyway

the other one i'm also not sure if is being sold anymore like with the last one in above paragraph?? but the above one had an entire name change this one i just couldn't find anything with the exact ...ID? number so like lol and also it was really cute i am not above wearing misfitting bras if theyre cute enough cuz it makes me feel good :3

and the last one i'm nnnnnot really sure about just cause i have another bra from this brand and i dont really like it and also i think it was like 60 dollars so i'd have to catch it on sale AND it was not pretty, so, bluh.

there's another that might fit me but i'll have to look into it more

TL DR finding bras when you're inbetween sizes is crazy hard, i just want to live my 'able to comfortably wear a bra every day' dreams, i wish brands sold 30 bands more, holy shit bras are expensive, [pepe silvia but it's me trying to find these fucking ghost bras], waaaaaaaa i want bra

[jenovacomplete]

I mean like. Yeah u can hyperfixate on yuri but once uve read all the manga volumes like..its over....i mean ive had periods where i was hyperfixated on yuri in general but theres no like. Specific yuri series that lots of people make fancontent for that you can consume for months on end??? theres so much fanart for mdzs, and its specifically a danmei. and theres more than just fluffy romcoms....!!!!!!besides citrus..!!!!!!!! I have a manga on my desk rn called "killing me!" abt a vampire hunter and a vampire or "after hours" which is abt adults and one of them gets the other into DJing, and even series with "fluffy" romance can be a lot more nuanced than ud think and tbh i think its a lot healthier to have mostly fluffy stuff than mostly sexual content (gay teens deserve wish fulfillment stuff, also not saying mdzs is sexual i mean ? I dont know if it is? Just yaoi in general) but i agree the worship of """""" purity """"""" is gross but the difference is that its made mostly by wlw. Also i wasnt being accusatory, like i know ur gay, its just funny bc idk like. i feel like everyone got into chinese bl of a sudden and I dont rly get the appeal even tho theres more to it, its kind of like the three kingdoms (i assume theres like politics and battles ?) but magic and gay thats nice!!! That sounds sarcastic its not i swear. i cant watch series that have 50 min long eps but I'll take ur word for it that the untamed is good

hyperfixation has nothing to do with fandom and as someone who's hyperfixated on obscure shit for years at a time if there's no content you can make your own. like I completely get what you're saying but that's really not how that works

ofc there's more than fluffy romcoms -- however most wlw content tends to be of that type bc of the obsession w women being "pure" n shit like that. it's the same reason why most content of gay men tends to become hypersexualised -- it's just another manifestation of homophobia. that kind of content doesn't appeal to me, so when it comes to yuri I often have to look harder. I don't even like romance as a genre (generally hate it actually) which is why I've been going on about tgcf so much -- it's the first romance-centric media that's made me Get It

I get what you mean about how gay kids deserve better n I agree!! hypersexualisation fucking sucks and I wish we didn't have to grow up in a world where we're seen as commodities. however mdzs and tgcf are both what I'd consider 18+ books and any adaptations remove most sexual elements. I really don't think you should pass judgement on them without knowing anything about them. that's not a case of "uh you haven't consumed it so how can you judge!!" but instead hey maybe you could like, ask me what they're about... do a basic bit of googling... also BL isn't yaoi. BL and GL stand for boy's love and girl's love respectively and there's nothing inherently sexual about either of them. I get the feeling you've gotten confused on some terminology

honestly no idea where you're getting "everyone is into danmei now" from bc the group of people I know who're into it are VERY small lmao your social circle is not the entire internet. it's okay to feel confused by the changing tides of fandom and it's okay to feel left out but it's really not anything deep mate. it's okay to not be interested in something other people like, you don't have to justify it. although your concerns about the sexualisation of LGBT people are a legitimate discussion and I'm interested in having it within this context it's just not working bc (as you've admitted) you don't even know the media you're using as a springboard. what I'm hyperfixating on is none of your business and it's not something you should feel comfortable going on anon and basically telling me I should feel cringe for, holy shit. your argument is lost bc you are approaching this as if you have any right to the media I consume! I'm sorry if this sounds mean but I just woke up and I'm really tired and stressed and you're projecting ideas onto me that I have no way to deal w because They Have Nothing To Do With Me