also ‘a lot of the time I just wanted to time travel back or my childhood bed’ juxtaposed with ‘I wanted to get better, to challenge myself, and to build on my skills as a writer, an artist, and a performer’ is like. the thesis of speak now. it’s two diff ways to confront the first big challenge in her life: to recoil and wish you could go back to a time before you thought it possible, or to wish you would already come out the other end and become stronger. I have to grow up—artistically, sexually, romantically—but the thought terrifies me.