#elo.txt

[artbyeloquent]

"fuck it, just hit post" - a 2024 writeblr resolution

In December I wrote a little rant about how much better I might feel if I stopped feeling beholden to put out aesthetic "content" and just shared the raw truth of my art and writing drafts. @inkovert also had some lovely thoughts on that post that inspired me.

So here's my best crack at it! Similar to @winterandwords CalmWriMo but as (hopefully) a lasting commitment to the whole year, Fuck It, Just Hit Post aims for me to share more regularly regardless of whether I consider the work "polished" enough to post or even if it gets 2 notes.

As someone who notoriously edits as they write, constantly worrying if their words are resounding enough for someone to read, I'd like to challenge myself to the "fuck it" mentality. Even if I get nothing from it--no notes, no new followers--my hope is that it'll shift my mindset away from "content creation" to the joyful act of creating, period.

If you'd like to join me in this New Year's Resolution, you can post whatever you please (doodles, wip updates, rambles, oc content, etc) under the tag #writeblr.fijhp ! I will track the tag and do my best to reblog everyone's work <3

This is more of a philosophy than a writeblr challenge, which means you can start and stop at anytime. Post once under the tag, or flood it. Who cares! You can do whatever you want forever. And the "fuck it" mentality will always be waiting if you'd like to try it out.

[cchocolatine]

i hate venting on this blog or any other blog but i don't know where else to go....

i sure hope the doctor will understand me tomorrow when i tell her i have been struggling to find reasons to live and that i have been Reflecting

[dionlyfans]

i'm thinking about that one fic where d.io is the neighbour across the street and we can see each other from our window... and one day we walk into the living room naked and he sees us and has a wank while thinking we're not looking. but actually we know and we're just showing off..... oh god (head in hands) what if we were across-the-street neighbours and he liked to watch me while im just lying on my bed ass out watching true crime videos.

[sooljal2]

im being harassed by bots pls someone help

[artbyeloquent]

What if I just. Challenged myself not to care anymore. What if I posted shitty sketches twice a day so I had 365 of shitty art, at least there would be art!!! What if I stopped letting myself be brainwashed into thinking of it as content instead of happy little messy scribbles I put out in the world!!!! What if I posted a line a day no matter how bad or stupid or nonsensical. What if I actually used this blog as a journal like I claim it is. What if.

[dionlyfans]

putting this somewhere before i can forget.

some 🪭💛 thoughts ft. hol horse. i always make that man suffer sorry

thinking about 🪭 getting pounded by 💛 on their anniv

💛 giving her a nice back massage. and then the "i could gladly turn this into something much more satisfying" along with his cock pressing into her ass ☺️

right as they're about to fuck, hol horse comes in like sorry lord dio it's urgent

💛 is like "i hope your timing isn't this atrocious in the field, hol horse." but he keeps grinding into 🪭 bc frankly he doesn't give a fuck and they both think it's hot.

hol horse is stuttering like a fool while trying to give his report, meanwhile 🪭💛 are fucking nasty right in front of him

💛: "speak louder, hol horse. my 🪭 is being quite noisy today, and i will not have her keep it down."

hh finally chokes out that kakyoin has been blinded and is out for the count

decent news to 💛. nothing to holler about, but he's not going to be pissy. definitely not while he's balls deep inside his wife.

and of course he notices hol horse's raging hard on. "i should have you dead and drained for lusting over my 🪭. but i'm feeling agreeable."

and they let him watch. "we don't mind an audience, do you, love?" "'specially not you, cowboy"

🪭💛 find it very amusing that he's so terrified and yet so aroused.

🪭 loves the attention.

💛 loves any chance to rub his pride in someone's face, especially when it comes to loving 🪭.

no chance he'll ever let anyone touch her. but being watched, knowing that people want what he has, want him to fuck them or want to fuck 🪭 turns him on

[artbyeloquent]

hey sexy bitches.

2024 has been uh, a lot. i have not created anything outside of office doodles on post-it notes since january. i moved out of an emotionally unsafe living sitch, got major (bad) medical news about my dad, got promoted, broke my old laptop, had to build a new pc, said pc does not currently work with my tablet... and we're only 6 months down.

soooo.

i'm not sure when i'll really be "back" or "active"? But I am here. I've ordered an adapter to get my tablet and pc to play nice, so hopefully once that's here I can finish the commissions I am GRIEVOUSLY overdue on.

what's next?? not sure.

sooooo... how are y'all?

[cchocolatine]

i thought i was feeling better but i can't draw anything nice :( at least i drew a bit today but it didn't make me feel very good...

[artbyeloquent]

If you're okay with historically set adult fantasy, I am in love with Leslye Penelope's The Monsters We Defy!

Guys google is being ridiculously fucking useless and my local libraries have the worst cataloguing system on this earth.

I am trying to find adult fantasy written by Black authors. I don't want non-Black authors. If you have recommendations, books that you know of, please let me know. Please reblog this post, even if you don't know of any, so it can reach more people.

Thank you!

[dionlyfans]

i m thinking about muta.nt al.ley din.ohazard. what if there was a game where... i shan't finish

[artbyeloquent]

No you don't understand this is all I could have hoped for 🥹 I found your blog based on the pictures of Darcy and Bingley releasing the tension in your loom rack from using it as a hammock. I had no idea that you had THREE or that they were all such distinguished little gentlemen! It is very hard to choose a favorite, and I wish I could give them many pets and treats.

What are your cats' names? I love them very much 🥹

you are my favourite person. thank you so much for asking this and giving me a chance to talk about my cats, my precious terrible babies.

we have three cats, as you can see in this photo of them supervising me watering the garden yesterday.

the brown tabbies are brothers, and are two years old. the grey one was adopted at the same time, but is younger—about eighteen months. they're terrible. i adore them.

this is darcy. he's impossibly beautiful, so full of beauty that there's absolutely no space left in that precious little head of his for anything as trivial as thoughts. look at those eyes. his mind is absolutely empty.

darcy enjoys hanging his chin over things, feather toys, helping me manage any wool products that i'm using, sunbeams, yoghurt, tearing apart cardboard boxes, and being lightly thunked along his sides. does he like being pet like a normal cat? not really. what he loves is when you aggressively rub his sides up and down like you're trying to towel off a very wet dog, or when you play bongos on his ribs.

darcy is our babiest boy, and also the fanciest and most beautiful boy. he doesn't walk, he prances. his tail is an enormous peacock plume. his mouth is so so so pink. he's also our most timid boy—very friendly, but very cautious, especially when it comes to anything physical. big jump? no thank you, darcy will simply hop down to the floor and take the long way. he's our longest and probably our sturdiest cat, but he does not care to put that to the test.

this is bingley. you may notice, in these photos, that he's missing the paw on his front right leg. this is because he put every single one of his ability points into soft and didn't leave any for paw. he feels like this was a reasonable trade, and is entirely unbothered by its absence.

bingley likes sofa, plush fishie toys, biting and biting and biting his siblings, cotton, being tall, getting onto the bed by jumping directly on my face, and trucks and machines of all types. you have a spinning wheel? this guy is obsessed with spinning wheels. garbage is being picked up? he is tearing into the office so he can watch it out the window. toddler-ass behaviour, frankly.

darcy and bingley are brothers, and when we went to the shelter, we were told that they were a bonded pair, and that darcy relied on bingley for a lot of social cues. this was, at it turns out, 100% correct. darcy is timid and anxious and very reluctant to trust his own abilities; bingley is confident and loud and knows absolutely no fear. this cat has opinions, and by god he's gonna tell you about them. bingley makes the biggest jumps, and is the cat who figured out that he could jump from the knee-high cat tree to the top of the more-than-two-metres wardrobe. i'm honestly glad that he's missing a paw because i feel like if he weren't a tiny bit nerfed, he'd be A Threat. he is also far and away our smallest cat, even though he sometimes makes himself look quite large in photos.

this is goblet. goblet is rightfully called silver—my child named him, thus the thematic disconnect—but i have to admit that i've almost never called him that. you see, when we got him, he was very young, and he had hilariously oversized eyes and ears, which made him look like a goblin. a very small goblin. a goblet, if you will.

goblet likes food, the plastic bottle caps from sports drinks that he fishes out of the garbage, being in things (baskets, drawers, cat beds, etc), headbutts, having his belly rubbed, and sitting with his front paws tucked up very politely.

he's our most skittish boy—if there's a loud noise, he's gone—but also the snuggliest. which is great, because he's also the most trustworthy when it comes to craft supplies. if i pull out my knitting, there's like an 85% chance that he'll appear on my lap within ten minutes or so, and then he'll just hang out there. i've used his limbs to tension yarn before and he just purrs. he's sort of middle of the road on the bad life choices scale—too skittish to have bingley's eyes closed, three paws, can't lose attitude, but more confident than darcy. he's also the smartest cat.

additionally, he has weirdly, freakishly grippy paws. he's not polydactyl, but he very much uses his dewclaws like thumbs. he really holds on to things. it's messed up but also very charming, because he holds on to everything.

anyhow, thank you so so much for sending me this ask and giving me an excuse to tell you way more than you wanted to know about my cats!

[artbyeloquent]

4,000 usd *essential* car repairs 🥹 g-d please have mercy on me i haven't even finished all of my 2024 commissions yet

[cchocolatine]

crazy how i'm literally going on vacation to another country and i... don't even feel that excited lmao. like i would rather just sleep in my bed. what is wrong with me.

[dionlyfans]

i can only spend 30 seconds on this blog before i think about Things and i feel repulsed again

[artbyeloquent]

My creative burnout still hasnt recovered, I feel so disassociated from my hobbies and floating through a haze. However, today is my birthday. My sister and fiance are over completing a puzzle with me (we're on almost hour 11 of this thousand piece puzzle. We are not smart people lol.) I'm sleep deprived, but I feel good :) it's good to have survived another year. I'm hopeful that as I learn to take better care of myself my will to create for the sake of creation will return.

[artbyeloquent]

Hey, hope you're okay xx how are things going?

stares in shame at the timestamp

I am okay in the sense that I am sheltered, getting adequate sleep, and safe. I may not be mentally well or have enough money to eat 3 meals a day, but I'm still incredibly grateful right now.

I've been battling a lot of co-existing feelings--frustration at being burnt out both at work and creatively YET AGAIN, grief and sadness with the ongoing genocide and feeling helpless to assist with two empty checking accounts, guilt at not finishing my commissions OR touching my hobbies OR posting. And yet posting like things are normal when they're so Not Normal is just. [angry gesturing]

Vinay Krishnan posted a poem on his Instagram 2 days ago called "there's laundry to do and a genocide to stop" and I highly recommend looking it up because it's how I feel trying to simultaneously fight off compassion fatigue and also survive under poverty and capitalism.

"I'll need to pick up more shifts. Twenty people died in Rafah this morning and every major news outlet is stretching the limits of the passive voice ..."

[deep breath]

I'm not sure if this is too much of a vent on your sweet, simple check-in, but I'm tired of pretending things are okay and I think I would feel much more comfortable coming back to my writing and art if I just balance the truths that Things Are NOT Okay but also I Need To Make Art for My Sanity And Also To Make Rent.

This post is an open invitation for writeblr/artblr followers and mutuals to let me know how they're doing (the good and the bad) and if they have any updates for me since I went AWOL back in January. How are you, Ash?