#emmetts aro too also btw

[intearsaboutrobots]

Tell me about aro Elle Legally Blonde!! (But also I would like to see a cool picture too please.)

ELLE LEGALLY BLONDE IS VERY ARO AND ILL DIE ON THIS HILL

elle knows Social Scripts and Rules, so when she meets warner she knows how to laugh and toss her hair and touch his arm. she feels a warm glow of satisfaction when he pulls her in to dance instead of any of the other girls, and it doesnt exactly matter how she feels abt him.

i think that she isnt super romo repulsed like this is less defs some kind of self-harm than sycamore - kissing is pretty gross but /shrug thats just smth we all put up w, and we all think of it as "putting up w" for sure!!!

she is genuinely upset when warner dumps her bc a) hes a rl ass abt it b) this is a Loss a Failure

anyway she goes to harvard and her and enid become friends and elle is like Oh Hm im straight but its so funny how when enid talks abt "compulsory heterosexuality" that totally reflects some of my feelings ! maybe she even hm if she from talking to enid is doing the period appropriate equivalent of "im straight and looking up playlists tagged lesbian on 8tracks in a str8 way", maybe she if she is perhaps a little drunk and having a bad night would kiss enid and then be very upset that that Also feels gross and so shes Not a lesbian she Must be straight ;;-;;; and just Bad at being straight!! and enid might not know terminology abt being aspec and also has been blindsided by the kiss and crying both, but she Does know a lot abt women and agency over their bodies and will say like, "Hey if u dont want to kiss anyone then dont!! if someone wants to kiss u and u dont want to kiss them they can fuck off and ill tell them that w pleasure".

anyway the end of the story is elle and emmett get married for tax reasons and enid also lives w them and dates ladies, and elle gets to hold hands w and cuddle them both bc in my lb ships post i rlly talked myself into emmett&elle&enid where its a vee and emmett and enid r friends who r both in a relationship w elle

and here r some out of context riverdale screenshots that i hav saved on my phone as ur Cool Picture gshdkdkahdkfl

[therealvinelle]

buzzfeed did an artbreeder of some of the twilight characters! (https://www.buzzfeed.com/tessafahey/twilight-ai-book-characters).

in my opinion, they nailed most of them, especially Esme, and i quite like their version of Aro, and thought you might do too. (btw i’m loving leech!! cant wait to see how it turns out)

@franzias-cave come moan wretchedly in agony.

I'm sorry, anon, I... may or may not have roasted the life out of those artbreeds in private. They're so bad, all of them.

It's not just a matter of how I hc the characters, it's a matter of artbreeding. Artbreeder has its default faces, and learning how to use the site is largely about learning how to create a face that's actually your own creation, and not just "this default face but I made it blonde".

This buzzfeed article is made by someone who sucks at artbreeder, is what I'm saying. Just look at Carlisle, Jasper, and Edward: it's the same face with different hair color and sliiiightly different genes. Aro and Emmett are damningly similar as well, so I think they were using the same base face for all five. Jacob and Leah have the almost exact same face too. Rosalie is so default that it hurts, they just grabbed something right off trending and gave it golden eyes.

They also all just... sorry but they look really bad. Bella, Renesmee, Jane, the five guys mentioned above, they all just look so bad.

(All that aside: I'm so glad you're enjoying my fic! Look, @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin, praise!)

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Bella’s one of those ppl who are academically smart but in real life fuckin stupid- gurl rlly can’t think for herself or just think outside of school in general- Edward has a victim mentality- maybe stop breaking the ducking law? Carlisle is too fuckin loyal- he would make a terrible parent irl bc he would do anything that his kids want, instead of telling them and letting them know that he thinks something is wrong.

Rosalie is sane

Esme seems sane

Emmett is Emmett

Alice is also fuckin stupid sometimes

Jasper is just existing at this point

Jacobs ego is too much- like dude u rlly think u can take on Caius- I bet u can’t even take on one child of the moon- Like bitch u a shapeshifter not an actual werewolf so go shape urself into a fuckin triangle

Jane is a psychopath

Aros just enjoying life

Heidi and demetri are fuckin but just bc they bored and would never like think of each other romantically and if demetri found his mate Heidi would be happy for them and try to be friends with demetri’s mate but then find out that it’s not rlly normal for someone who fucked their mate for the past centuries to be besties and feel sad that they can’t be friends

Caius needs to calm the fuck down

Alec for some miraculous reason is actually sane

Felix and Jane need to calm the fuck down

The Romanians need to move on like plz move the fuck on

Edward needs to shut up and stop being lowkey manipulative

Bella/Esme/kinda Carlisle/ and maybe Alice NEEDS TO GET IT TOGETHER AND THINK FOR THEMSELVES- FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING EXISTENCE PLEASE JUST THINK-

I also agree with u when u said that the denalis have a victim mentality- ur mother created an immortal child who then went on to destroy like a whole mf village in a day- y’all ain’t the victims- Irina, snitches are bitches who will eventually get stitches-

Marcus ur doing great honey. Kinda

You described Bella and Edward PERFECTLY.

Kinda feel bad for Carlisle since it's clear he wants his covens to think and be independent of him. He doesn't want to control them. However some LIKE EDWARD CULLEN clearly fucking need it. C'mon Carlisle, he's literally putting your whole coven at risk. Be the father figure Edward literally deems you to be and keep them all safe. Although I do agree, it seems Carlisle doesn't really out his foot down when his 'children' are being exactly that.

Rosalie is a little mean in my personal opinion but as I've gotten older WHO CAN BLAME HER AT THIS POINT?

Esme is a supportive wife and I love that. Esme is wonderful.

Emmett is enjoying life and we're HERE FOR IT. I SUPPORT YOU EMMETT.

Alice is...c'mon Alice, remember the rules of your visions. Other than that, not too bad. Just tell Edward he's a fucking idiot.

Jasper is literally just existing. Like where is the lie?

Jacob can fuck right off in my humble opinion. Don't be a controlling nutcase and then knock Edward for it. You knew Bella wasn't about a relationship with you but then you kiss her as though that will make her change her mind and come to her senses? Bella now sees the light because you have magic kisses? Fuck off. You deserved to be punched in the face. The character was completely ruined when he imprinted on Renesmee. I'm actually angry with how fucked over Jacob got and how much of a dick he was. Also GO SHAPE SHIFT INTO A FUCKING TRIANGLE 😂😂😂😂😂 Seriously though, asses would be handed to them by Caius alone. C'mon guys.

Jane's is a spoiled lil' shit. Then it gets worse because she's SADISTIC AND HOMICIDAL.

Aro is just enjoying life with the extension of 'i will literally step on you to get what I want.'

Yup. Can confirm. Atleast in my writing. You bet Demetri and Heidi be getting it on when they're bored. Are they romantically interested in each other? Nope. Are they Broski's? Absolutely. They're the original friends with benefits duo. They did it before it was even named. Heidi would 100% want to befriend Demetri's mate and wouldn't see how her previous 'sessions' with him were a big deal. However you bet Heidi will still have their back constantly even if his mate doesn't like her or is uncomfortable.

Caius does need to calm the fuck down. That's all.

Alec pretends he's sane 😂😂😂 Having a sister like Jane would make someone seem normal. He's just as bad as his sister, even if it isn't obvious.

Felix and Jane do need to just calm a bit. Just settle, my dudes. Be calm.

The Romanians do be obsessing 👀 I'll say it. However the Volturi are an INJUSTICE--- I'm not going to pretend humans would have a delightful existence with those two in charge so team Volturi for that one.

Edward needs to stop being a dick. He's manipulative with a victim complex.

I cackled 😂😂😂😂 GET IT TOGETHER MAAANNNN.

THEY DID THOOOO. THEY DID THIS TO THEMSELVES. IRINA HOW ABOUT YOU INVESTIGATE THE PROBABLE IMMORTAL CHILD BEFORE YOU RUN OFF AND SNITCH ON YOUR COUSINS. THEY KILLED YOUR BOYFRIEND AND YOU WERE SALTY AND DID IT OUT OF SPITE. YOU CANT TELL ME OTHERWISE. WHICH BTWS IRINA, HE WASNT EVEN THAT FUCKIN' LOYAL HE WAS LYING TO YOUUUUU. Damn it Irina, assess the situation the kid had a heartbeat and everything. Can you COUNT? TWO HEARTBEATS AND THREE PEOPLE. BELLA BEING A VAMPIRE. THE OTHER A WOLF AND THE LAST A CHILD. COUNT IRINA. COUNT! I could go in for days about the Denali thing. Is this why Edward has a victim mentality? Did he spend too much time with the Denali's? Just ugh. Dude robs a bank and then is upset that he was sent to prison for it. This is the mindset. Like WHAT DID WE THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?

Marcus is doing great 🥺🥺🥺 You're doing amazing sweetie!

[therealvinelle]

for experiments sake, let's say Aro DOES have a vampire who can blow people up. how would twilight go then? (that ask was hilarious btw, thank you!)

(Anon is referring to this post.)

Oh my god I'm so glad you asked.

So, since you refer to a post where I used a random generator to determine who would be blown up, I'm going to go ahead and make that Aro's new guy's power.

He can kill anyone within an instant, remotely, and he can't be blocked. His is Death and he will not be stopped. Let's call him Torgrim, it's appropriately badass.

The drawback being that he has no way of determining who gets blown up. It's completely random. Though for the sake of having my character list be relevant, we'll say that his power only works on vampires.

Aro doesn't have any real use for him, but he didn't want the guy runninng around on his own either so, sure. He can join the guard.

SO. I have a list of 53 vampire characters who are alive during the Breaking Dawn confrontation. All of them are named, as I did not feel serious adding "Volturi witness #1" or "Maria's newborn army recruit #1" when I don't know that the already named characters in the appendix aren't witnessing for the Volturi, or that Maria actually has a newborn army at the time of the Breaking Dawn trial.

Also, for the record, I didn't prewrite who gets blown up, I get to find out as I write this post.

Irina is off the list, as Caius just killed her. Torgrim is on the list.

Alec, Jane, and Chelsea try their gifts, each of them fail. The Cullen side is starting to get their hopes up.

Never fear, Caius has an ace up his sleeve.

A new figure, a man cloaked in vantablack (Aro wanted to give him light gray since he can't actually be used for anything, upon second thought he didn't want the guy to get uppity and start using his gift.) steps forward.

No one's seen this guy before.

Everyone turns to Eleazar, and to Edward, wanting to know what this guy can do.

Eleazar stares at Torgrim, squints, tilts his head, squints harder, tilts his head the other way. Finally, he says "He has some kind of offensive power."

Edward doesn't know what the gift is, but he does know that Aro is shitting bricks. He grins, this guy isn't gonna be a problem.

Torgrim grins, theatrically snaps his fingers, and-

Rosalie blows up.

The Cullens and witnesses scream in equal parts shock and terror. Bella can't protect them after all.

Aro, knowing this was extremely lucky and also that they just killed Carlisle's daughter, wants to pack up and get the fuck out, now. They've shown that they have the power to destroy the Cullens, great, let's show them mercy and leave.

There's not going to be a happy ending now, not with Carlisle's daughter dead and Carlisle himself sobbing on the ground, clutching rubble a few hundred meters away, but the Volturi are now in control. There can still be a peaceful ending.

Edward, reading his thoughts, demands that the witnesses hold their positions, Aro isn't in control of this situation after all.

Caius decides to take the gamble. He tells Torgrim to go.

Stefan blows up.

Caius is now cackling loudly, while the Cullen witnesses are closing their eyes in dread. They were fools to believe they could ever stand against the Volturi, or that some newborn girl could possibly protect them from the Volturi.

Aro thinks about how miraculous his luck is, that not only is Torgrim not killing any Volturi, but he is killing the vampires present. This is everything he ever hoped for from Torgrim.

Edward hears all of this.

Being close to panicking, he finds himself incapable of closing his mouth. He tells everybody that Torgrim has no control of his power, and taunts him.

Torgrim has a few issues.

Here he is, so very powerful, he can kill anybody and everybody, he could render Jane, Alec, Felix, and Demetri all redundant, he could singlehandedly rule the world if he so wished.

Except he can't, because his power is randomized.

He possesses such great power, but no way to wield it.

Now, thanks to mathematically improbable luck, the gods have granted him one moment of glory.

And this rebel twerp means to ruin it for him. This rebel twerp dares to mock him.

Torgrim stares down Edward, narrows his eyes, and with every ounce of his being he concentrates on Edward Cullen.

He unleashes his power.

Kebi blows up.

Carlisle begs Edward to stop talking, everyone begs him to stop talking, Bella is losing control of her shield in distress.

Aro is this close to hyperventilating. Torgrim, for the love of god, don't try it again. He doesn't even need to, Alec can take advantage of Bella's inner turmoil now.

Before Torgrim can use his power again, Aro orders him to stop. Point proven, let's be merciful now. (Before Aro himself blows up.)

Edward, desperate for a win in the midst of all this disaster where he just goaded the Volturi into blowing up Stefan and Kebi, decides it's speech time. He starts talking about how the Volturi are tyrants, they're evil and corrupt and will kill just about anybody. Literally, they have a guy who'll kill anybody at all.

Caius starts doing the math on how many vampires Torgrim has to kill before Edward explodes. Sadly for Caius, Marcus was always the one who was good at maths, but Marcus doesn't care anymore. He asks anyway. Marcus, E = {1 ∈ 0 < n }, and P(Edward dies) = 1/E, uh- Marcus, help. MARCUS.

Aro is debating which option makes him look less terrible, to interrupt Edward and start bickering with this seventeen-year-old or wait until he's done before saying anything, or take advantage of Bella's panic and try Alec again, or-

Torgrim uses his power again.

Liam blows up.

Holy fuck, Siobhan should have prevented that. I guess Python is more powerful than she is.

Someone tackles Edward to the ground, the Cullen surrender, and Alice and Jasper arrive just in time to see that they've already lost.

Aro brings Renesmée and Bella with him back to Volterra, not so much out of interest for Renesmée so much as bringing the daughter is a perfect excuse to bring Bella as well. Bella is too dangerous to be left alone out there. In time, she will either come to see the Volturi as friends, or be executed.

This timeline is the nail in the coffin for his friendship with Carlisle, as he killed his daughter and then kidnapped Bella and Renesmée, but it's a sacrifice he can make.

(Though should the opportunity arise...)

A few months later, wanting to prove to the world that this wasn't just a one-off, that Torgrim is indeed a mighty man who can somewhat direct his power in the right direction and should be allowed to do things within the Volturi, Torgrim uses his power again.

Emmett blows up.

... this program is just refusing to harm the Volturi, huh.