#eric looking right at the camera.... very photogenic of him

[like-rain-or-confetti]

What i need to do (Bella Cullen x Reader)

TRIGGER WARNING: Implied/mentioned suicide!

You had your back to Bella, you were washing your hands under the sink when you turned giving her your usual warm smile. "Hey, there you are. I've been looking for you for a while now."

"Yeah...I was out with Renesmee...why are you here?"

"Just wanted to talk...do you remember when I first got to Forks? You were running off with your boyfriend whilst Jacob Black just went off the map. It wasn't until when the Volturi came for you that I found out what you were...what he was." You sucked on your teeth, a sour expression taking over you. "You two would have been a great match, you're both liars."

"Neither of us intended to hurt you-"

"or Charlie. I know." You interupted. "Atleast you had your reasons."

"I know you feel I've abandoned you..." Bella started. "I know I haven't been around to support you with...the Romanians."

"No..." You protested.

"I miss you..."

"No!" You snapped. "You don't get to miss me, or Charlie or anyone in our family! I won't accept that!"

"I don't know how to help you! I didn't know you'd be mated to Vladimir. It was your choice! You knew he had enemies! Is that who you've been hiding from? The Volturi? Are they after you?"

You stared at her. "It was my choice. I let myself be blindsided by all of this...I was way over my head."

"So was I...It wasn't easy for me either, sometimes I don't know why this all happened." Bella was referring to the target on your back, the Volturi were out for blood and you had mysteriously vanished two months ago. It broke Vladimir's heart. Even a phone call or a letter would suffice.

"Why did you leave us, your family, Bella? Why did you choose to leave us behind?"

"... because of Edward. Renesmee became another reason why."

"We do terrible things for the people we love?" You said softly. "Stop asking why, you won't find an answer there. Start asking what."

"What did you do for the person you love?" Bella said finally in realisation and you nodded.

"We are very different Bella yet we both have that one trait that runs in our family. We'll do anything to protect the one we love."

"Just tell me what you did..." Bella pleaded.

You gave her a sad smile before stepping around her and going to the door.

Bella clenched her eyes shut hearing your footsteps, she knew this would be the last she ever saw you. She felt it in her gut. She even knew why you wouldn't say. You didn't tell her because you were protecting her and the Cullens, so they wouldn't be involved.

'Tell Vladimir, I'm sorry.' You wanted to tell Bella, but you didn't. You just kept walking down the hall and closed the door. What would be the point? Vladimir knew you loved him, and he also knew how sorry you were. You made sure of that before you disappeared. There was only one more thing. One last destination.

You thought about everything. Everything you had given away. Everything you left behind. Nothing will be left, like you never existed, only your memory.

Renesmee dug into the pocket of her cardigan pulling out the necklace you always wore. You had given it to her in a brief visit. You told her, you loved her. You told her to never doubt herself or her actions. If she knew the reason behind her actions, then do it. You kissed her head, gave her a hug and then abruptly left.

You took all the money from your bank account in cash, split it three ways before sending each to a place no one would suspect. You left a simple note in the envelope.

'Use it.

From an old friend,'

You left your initials at the bottom.

Charlotte's head snapped to the door when a thud was heard. The postman had arrived and delivered a bulky looking envelope. Her address was handwritten. She tore the envelope open to see a stack of money. Peter looked over her shoulder, taking the note as she took the money. Peter read it over, his frown growing before showing it to Charlotte.

Siobhan reached for the envelope slightly wet at the corners from the rain outside. She tore it open as Maggie stood in the doorway, a look of confusion. Siobhan barely acknowledged the cash and took out the note but Maggie snatched it before she could look at it. Siobhan send a disapproving look to Maggie but let it slide as she took out the money. Siobhan looked up again to see a look of concern on Maggie's face and reached for the note.

Benjamin eyed the envelope as Tia leaned on his shoulder. He tore it open and passed the envelope, cash still inside to Tia, before the two looked over the note. Amun noticed the look on Benjamin's face. It was one of confliction and worry.

"You know what to do right? You send them away, you don't ask questions, you give no return address, you don't give a name. Do you understand?" You said to the dark haired boy. He nodded. "No questions, no identification or location, send it away and forget about it."

You smiled and nodded. "Thank you for doing this. Don't think about this later, just move on with your life and give it your all."

He nodded again, this time a little slower, this was the goodbye.

"Thank you, Eric."

"I don't know what to say." Eric said.

"You don't have to say anything." You smiled. "So how do I look? Am I photogenic enough?" Eric nodded with a sad smile. "You'll be captured in time. No one will ever forget you." He didn't know how accurate his words were, and that was good. Eric will live a good, long, happy life. It was all you wanted for him.

"Right, this won't be an ordinary selfie that you double tap. This one...this one will be timeless." The wind picked up, typically dreary, windy Forks. "Go on then, give us a spin." Eric smirked, camera at the ready. You grinned.Click! In a Marilyn Monroe fashion you stepped into the middle of the frame and spun. Click! Click! Click! Click!

Eric’s face was illuminated by the laptop screen that night, he found the right picture. You were in midspin, your hair untamed as it billowed in the strong winds. Your eyes were shut with a grin, arms spread wide and standing on your tiptoes. This was the one. He selected the picture before clicking ‘OK’. He sat back for a moment in his seat thinking back to what happened after he took the pictures. You grinned, pulling your hair back from your face. “Beautiful!” Eric said in glee. “I’d say this is my best, you can be my muse.” You giggled before things became sad again. “I’ll do exactly what you asked. I promise, and i wont tell anyone, ever.” Eric promised.  You nodded. “Good, it’s important that you don’t, for you.” “Are you sure you want to do this?” “Eric...there are things i can’t explain, i’m doing whats best for me. You helped saved me.” He saw the look in your eye, the look of certainty and he nodded. You nodded back before turning away, stuffing your hands in your pockets. He never saw the tears begin to rub down your face quietly. He watched you go, knowing this would be the last he saw you and he knew that this moment would be etched into his memory forever. When he was old, perhaps a family who have grown up and had their family now, he’d still remember you; young and a mystery. The one who should have had a long happy life, but for whatever reason, never will.

Eric finished typing. It was only a page. There was something poetic about how your memory was in one page- fitting to show your short life. He read it over one last time before pressing ‘print’. As the paper was printed into various copies he grabbed some white envelopes. he looked at the sticky notes he had placed all over his desk- the various addresses you wanted him to send them to. He did what you asked. He ignored all the questions he had whilst giving each envelope a different address. He folded each copy neatly and put them in an envelope each before sealing them. Tomorrow morning, he’d post them.

Demetri suddenly looked up, startled. He stopped in his tracks. Jane, Alec and Felix turned to look at him in confusion. “What is it?” Felix asked. “I-I can’t track the human anymore.” “The one we are hunting down right now?” “That bella girl’s cousin, the one associated with the Romanians, they’re just...gone.” “How can they be gone?” Jane scowled,  “I have no idea, this is new for me.” “Flaming hell, stay here, i’ll go to where he last had them.” Felix rolled his eyes before speeding up head.  “You’d better tell Aro of this when we return.” Jane sneered. “Jane, your acting like i am being ridiculous!” Demetri remarked totally astounded. “My gift may not be working!” “Or stage fright.” Alec shrugged earning a small smile from Jane in amusement. “This isn’t funny!” “Oh, come on now Demetri, perhaps they got help from someone. Someone might be able to block your gift. I think we all know we all have our limitations.” Jane lectured him.  “You don’t understand!” Demetri declared. “Yes, I do. I have been in the same situation, twice.” She snapped. “Does Isabella Cullen ring any bells?” “His gift is fine.” Felix said flatly. “Come and see this.”  They followed him to see your body. You were dead. Demetri sighed in relief. “Oh my gift is fine. Oh praise the heavens if they’re a thing.” “I’m not going to lie, i didn’t see this coming.” Alec tilted his head, standing over you. “Let’s go home,” Jane said. “This was a waste of time.” “Think they might have tried to prove a point?” Felix nudged Demetri. “Like what?” Demetri’s brow furrowed. Felix shrugged. “Not sure, just seems a lot of bother to go from America to Romania to go back to America to die, no?” Demetri shrugged in response. “Perhaps they were trying to be poetic.” Alec mocked as Jane hummed in amusement. 

Aro sat in waiting for his guard to return. As he did so, he thought back to when the whole bother began.  You marched out of the Romanians home in sheer rage.  “Oh, enough.” Vladimir followed you. “You’re being ridiculous.” “Am I!?” You yelled turning back to him. “They’ve taken everything from you! Now they’re threatening you!?” “Same old, same old!” Vladimir dismissed it with a frantic wave from his hand. “Sweetheart, they’ve been threatening us for centuries before you were even born!” Vladimir smiled taking your face into his hands. “There is nothing you can do, my love, come back inside and calm down.” Stefan was watching from inside the house intently, but your attention wasn’t on him. You wore a desperate look, staring into Vladimir’s eyes before pulling him into a kiss. He kissed you back immediately and you pulled away from him. “Just give me some time to think, i’ll be back, i promise.” Vladimir reluctantly nodded. “Don’t be too long, it’s late.” You nodded, kissing him one last time before getting into your car and driving off. When you were quite far off, out of sight, you pulled over under the shadow of the trees. You let out a sob, smacking the steering wheel twice. You held your head in your hands, crying, letting out all the frustration you had. You wanted to heed Vladimir’s words but you couldn’t. You had to do something. The Volturi had to squirm a little bit more, ruin their happy, perfect lives with some rain. 

You did a double-take on the note pad you had left in the passengers seat. You often listed your day to day errands so you didn’t forget. Luckily enough, you had a pen. You hesitated before grabbing the note pad and pen, scrawling on the paper. You dug around some more to find an envelope from the pack you had needed three weeks ago. You googled the Volterra castle’s address and before you could change your mind, you immediately left to post it. 

Vladimir had told you a secret- one that would shake the very foundations of the Volturi. One that couldn’t be taken back.You knew what this was, this was retaliation, this was signing your own death certificate but you loved Vladimir, and you would do anything to protect him. This secret would hold the Volturi off, this threat would shake their core. Which is exactly what you wanted to give he Romanians, as much of forever you could give. After the envelope was sent away, the guilt set in. You would be leaving Vladimir, sacrificing yourself for him. Would he ever forgive you? Aro broke away from his thoughts when his trusted guard returned, never knowing Vladimir’s reaction to your threat.

You told him immediately but pulling him into a hug first. “I did something.” Concern etched on his face. “Sweetheart, what did you do?” You whispered it in his ear and he pulled back abruptly. “You didn’t, tell me you didn’t. You’re lying. (Y/N), you’re lying!” You shook your head. “I...I can’t protect you from this, and you knew that! That’s what hurts! You’ve chosen to leave me! You...you’ve broken my heart.” “I’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry. I just couldn’t handle what they were doing to you. I want you to be safe, even if that means giving up my life!” “You didn’t even give me a choice!” Vladimir yelled gripping your arms. “I knew i shouldn’t have let you go.” He sobbed, but tears didn’t fall. You took his face into your hands. You kissed his cheek repeatedly all the while apologising. “I don’t think i can forgive you for this.” Vladimir said lowly, he couldn’t look at you. “You don’t have to.” You mumbled. “You don’t have to.”

Vladimir didn’t speak to you for a week, nor did he look at you and you let him. You knew you had crushed his heart. It was only a matter of time before the Volturi would come for you. You had a plan, you knew what you were going to do. You knew how you were going to make it easier on everyone but first you had a call to make.

The time came around when Vladimir and Stefan would be leaving for a hunt. Stefan forced him to say his goodbyes to you with the statement that ignoring you would only make him regret later. You were in your room when Vladimir appeared at the doorway. “Stefan and I are going away to feed.” Vladimir said quietly. You nodded. “Okay, that’s good, you’ve not fed much.” Vladimir swallowed hard before letting out a breath and quickly walking toward you. You quickly stood up and he pulled you to his arms. “I love you.” He mumbled into your shoulder. “I’m sorry for my behaviour.” “Don’t you dare be sorry.” You whispered. “You have every right. I love you more than you’ll ever know. Promise me, you’ll remember that.” “I’ll never forget, im not angry with you. I’m angry with them because i know what they’ll do. You...” He let out a soft laugh. “you are exactly why i love you. You’re brave, and strong and in this situation i wish you weren’t.” He pulled you into a kiss. “I love you. I should get going, Stefan has a centimetre long patience span.” “Oh boy,” you joked, smacking his arm. “you better get going.” He kissed you one last time. “Farewell, (Y/N).” “Goodbye.” You whispered to him and he broke away from you. Then he was gone.  You let out a strangled sob. It was the final goodbye...and he didn’t even realise it. You picked up your wallet and keys as well as a jacket. It was all you needed. As you drove down the road, you dialled a number of an old friend and put it on speaker. “Hello?” “Hey Eric, it’s (Y/N) (L/N).” You smiled. “Oh my god, no way, i havent seen you since graduation! What’s up?” “Well i figured a good little catch up is in order. Up for a coffee?” “Definitely! When?” You looked at your clock 12:03pm. “How about tomorrow at three thirty? I should be in Forks by then.” “That’s great, i’ll see you soon!” You knew what you had to do. You had to befriend Eric all over again before you could ask him this. Vladimir returned to an empty house. He tried to call you, your phone was off. You never returned.

Aro tore open the envelope before he nearly lurched out of his chair. it was a simple note. 

‘I suggest you tell Marcus the truth... Before i do.’ Your initials were at the bottom. The receptionist quivered in fear seeing the look Aro wore, it was pure anger. She could only let out a yelp when he ferociously shoved her, throwing her into the stone wall behind the twins. She died instantly. “Are you alright?” Caius asked. “Excuse me, i have some thinking to do.” Aro said. Aro said nothing more of the subject for weeks before he finally gave the order to kill you. The only explanation he provided was a threat to vampire kind. A blatant lie.  Aro chewed his lip, the rage rising in him again at the memory before he spoke to the four guards. “Is it taken care of?”

About two months after Aro’s outburt you were sat with Eric in the La Push beach.  “Eric, i’m in trouble. As you’ve probably guessed...no one knows im here and its better off that way.” “What kind of trouble?” “I can’t say without putting you in danger. These people are going to kill me Eric and i can’t let them. I cant say it’ll be quick in painless.” Eric remained quiet and you continued. “My time is almost up. I’m not going to let them get me, i can’t. So...i’m going to do it myself.” “No way. Go to the police-” “Don’t ask questions, this is bigger than the police. Just trust me when i say i have to do this.” It took a lot of hours for Eric understand you needed him to do something for you beyond the grave and be okay with it. Eventually, as sick as it made him, he agreed.  “I’m meeting Bella on Friday, im dealing with everything else. I just need you to do your part.”  Eric was silent. He didn’t know what to say, and if he did say something he might vomit. “I’m sorry, really, i am.” You said sincerely before leaving.

You never told anyone about the second note. The never mentioned the second envelope addressed to Marcus Volturi. You posted it after visiting Renesmee and giving her your necklace. “To be blunt master, we didn’t have to.” Felix said. “They were dead when we got there.” “Killed themselves.” Jane added. Aro let out a laugh. “Pathetic,” Aro sneered. “thank you my dears. My apologies for the waste of time.”

Every coven were sent a letter, a week later. They each opened it. It was designed like a newspaper with your photograph. ‘YOUTH TRAGICALLY TAKES OWN LIFE, WILL BE MISSED.’ It was like a headline. ‘They were found dead too soon. No foul play was determined. Family and friends may never know just why their loved one is gone after a two month disappearance. Our thoughts and prayers are with their family and friends.’

Aro scowled. “What in the world?”  “Who was that from?” Caius asked. “I don’t have the slightest idea. There is no name or return address.”  tossed the paper at the table. “I’m burning that later.”

Vladimir let out a cry. “No!” He cried. “No! Please! Not again!” He fell to his knees, Stefan taking his side to comfort his friend. “Oh (Y/N)...” “Benjamin...” Tia called softly and Benjamin turned to Tia with a smile letting the swirling tornado of water fall down.  “It’s (Y/N)...” She said before handing over the piece of paper. His smile vanished, he was clearly saddened. Tia wrapped her arms around his waist. Explaining to Maggie what had happened to you was the most difficult thing Siobhan had to do in a long time. Maggie was visibly upset looking at the piece of paper. “They we’re afraid...of the Volturi.” Maggie said solemnly. Siobhan nodded. “It was their choice, we couldn’t have done anything.” “They never asked...” Maggie stressed looking ready to cry as Siobhan pulled her into a hug making eye contact with Liam, who looked on in sympathy.

“Haven’t they caused enough pain!?” Kate snapped. “Their fear of the Volturi, our fear, it’s why they’re dead!” “Kate!” Tanya looked at her. “We couldn’t have stopped this, we didn’t know.” Garrett rubbed Kates arms in comfort. “But she’s right, we’ve let them come to this after all these centuries. That human would be alive if we didn’t do something.” “They never said anything.” Carmen stressed. “Because they couldn’t!” Kate said loudly.  Eleazar stayed silent and Carmen instantly noticed his behaviour. “No.” Carmen said immediately, taking her mates shoulders firmly. “Don’t you dare torture yourself over this.” “I was a part of that coven Carmen,” He took her hands from his shoulders and cradled them to his chest. “how could i not?” Peter and Charlotte reached out to Jasper and Alice, promising their support if needed. Bella held her head in her hands at the dining table. Edward was kneeling beside her rubbing her knee and whispering to her words of reassurance every so often. Renesmee was with Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie in the other room. They decided they should be the ones to tell her about your passing. Rosalie crouched down. “Renesmee...we have something to tell you. We want you to know it’s okay to cry and be sad and that we love you. It’s about (Y/N)...they died, sweetheart.” Emmett lifted Renesmee murmuring words on comfort as he lightly swayed her. “I know kid, i know.” Five days later, a letter arrived specifically addressed to Marcus Volturi. The receptionist barely caught him pass her and she handed it over to him. He thanked her before continuing to the throne room. He tore open the envelope and took his seat at the throne. ‘Marcus,

If things went the way i hoped, then your coven never got to me and you’ve received this beyond the grave or just before.

I need you to know what i did, for i fear Aro has lied or not told you all together what was in my note. If you did not know what i reveal in this letter then Aro did not take my warning seriously. 

I am giving up my life for Vladimir, please respect that. I don’t care about the others opinions. I’d just appreciate your understanding of why i did this. I made a specific threat to Aro in hopes he would back away from the Romanians. This threat involved a secret, which includes you. I think you deserve the truth and so here it is.

Didyme was not killed by the Romanians, nor anyone else but her own brother. Aro killed her to make sure you would stay in the Volturi and ultimately maintain his power. I understand this is a bold accusation, but i urge you to consider past events and i hope that you see what i say is the truth. With this, i sincerely hope you find peace.

With regards,

(Y/N) (L/N)’

It hit Marcus with brute force. It was as though some sort of manipulation to such a warped truth- Chelsea, her gift was offered to him many times. In remembering this, it made the past be seen in a whole different way. His previous thinking hadn’t made any sense. Your words in that letter...it was enlightening. He always knew there was something he couldn’t put his finger on. You had broken the wretched curse. Aro had one chance now, one... tiny... chance...to keep...his head...

“Brother, are you alright?” Aro offered a smile.

“...Aro, is there something you wish to tell me?”

[secretcswriter]

Going Home for Christmas

Summary: When Killian Jones’ best friend Emma Nolan asked him to come home with her for Christmas acting as her fiancé, he never could have guessed what it would mean.

Find all Chapters Here

Also Read it Here: ff.net

Chapter Seven | The Worst Thing That Could Happen

 Ariel is the name of the reporter, which Killian finds slightly humorous due to the fact that her camera man’s name is Eric and the two other members of her crew are called Sebastian and Max.

 He and Emma have had to change into something more appropriate for an interview, with express permission given to them by the queen for each article upon their bodies.

 Mary Margaret stands behind camera when it starts to roll at least. He’d thought she might actually want to be in the interview herself with how much fussing she’d done getting them to sit in her study- the most photogenic room in the castle.

It turns out, being royalty is a lot more high maintenance than he’d been led to believe upon his arrival here. Emma seems to fall right into it all, while he’s left feeling entirely out of place.

 Emma’s hair curls around her shoulders and she wears the gentlest smile, appearing every bit as excited as a newly engaged princess should be. Her hand holds onto his against the couch cushion between them and he finds himself trying to find even the slightest flaw in her, but he can’t.

 His suit is far under dressed in comparison to the pretty dress she’s wearing, but Emma doesn’t seem to find issue with it.

 “Okay, so, let’s get this started,” Ariel says on a bright smile. She’s holding a notepad before her that she glances at. “First off, I want to say, Your Royal Highness, Mister Jones, congratulations to you both. This is such an exciting time.”

 Emma smiles back at the reporter. “Thank you.”

 His heart flutters anxiously. His hands feel slightly clammy.

 “Let’s start with the proposal and the engagement. When did it happen? How’d you propose?”

 Suddenly, all eyes are on him, even Emma, who gives the most encouraging pressure to his hand. She stares up at him with a tiny smile on her lips, one so convincing even he starts to believe it.

 He shifts slightly and clears his throat. “Well, it happened a few months ago. We’ve been living in New York. Ah…” He grins as he thinks about the story they’d concocted and turns his gaze to Emma affectionately. “We went to dinner at our favorite place for the anniversary of our meeting.”

 Emma laughs lightly. “I thought you were going to propose while we were there, just so you know.”

 “Oh yeah?” he lifts an eyebrow playfully. He laughs. “Well, I’d thought about that, but then I decided to wait a bit.”

 “Torture,” Emma says, looking at Ariel, who chuckles at her.

 “It was not,” Killian argues, drawing her attention back to him. “We went for a walk after, by the water, and the sun was setting the most lovely shade of orange and it made your hair glow.”

 Emma blushes a little and tilts her cheek toward her shoulder. “And then you proposed and it was very sweet and…”

 “Dare I say the most romantic speech of all time? I think it was.”

 Emma laughs, the warm sound encouraging his wicked grin back at her.

 “Did you say yes right away, Princess?” Ariel wonders.

 She bites at her lip thoughtfully and laughs. “Of course. Yes. I think I may have said it before he got the question out…”

 Killian hums and lifts his eyebrows, staring at the reporter. “That’s true.”

 Ariel chuckles. “And this happened how long after you met?”

 Both he and Emma turn to each other, humming and tilting their heads. “Five years?”

 “Just about.”

 “Wow, that’s a long time.” The reporter says with a knitted brow. “Were you dating the whole time or-?”

 Emma shakes her head. “We were friends first. I think we only started dating a year ago, right?”

 He hums. “Aye, yeah. A year’s about right.”

 “So, when did you find out about who she was really? Did you know going in… was it a surprise?”

 Killian has to laugh. He shakes his head. “No, no, I just barely found out, truthfully. But I think it’s fantastic.” He smiles at Ariel. “You know, I fell for Emma, not Princess Emma of Misthaven. She’s not any different now that I know she’s the princess. Certainly more important, but no less Emma.”

 Emma’s eyes are wide with surprise, as if she hadn’t thought he’d still like her for who she is. She turns it off in an instant, instead staring at him with the utmost tenderness.

 “Yes,” she agrees. “I’d been waiting to find someone that would love me for who I am aside from the crown. I think it comes from watching my parents and knowing how they met and fell in love so naturally. I wanted to find something that even slightly resembles what they have, and I’m… really happy that I have.”

 Emma smiles peacefully at him, almost selling even him on the realness of their relationship. Earlier he’d been seconds away from admitting his feelings for her, but he’s glad he’d been interrupted. Surely, she can’t feel the same way as he does.

 But it’s instances like this that have him confused and longing in the sorest way. Her eyes are so soft, like that of a lover, and her fingers squeeze against his. She bites at her lower lip for a second and turns back to Ariel when she asks another question.

 Maybe this week won’t be so bad after all. If he can only make her fall in love with him.

 + + +

 It takes Ariel and her team a while to leave. Emma finds herself falling back into position easily as they discuss kingdom goings on. She holds herself in an upright posture with her hands clasped together above her middle, as if she were ten years old again, getting taught the ways of being a lady.

 She catches Killian watching her, something that makes her heart stop even if for but a moment. Something’s going on in that head of his and she isn’t sure she wants to know what.

 Okay, yes she does. She definitely does. And she has an idea what it is, something that scares her a little bit.

 Emma takes a breath through her nose and steadies herself as she brings her attention back to Ariel, who’s trying to get her consent on a publication date, but all Emma wants is for this interview to fade into oblivion.

 “Emma, honey,” her mother interrupts as Emma’s about to reply to Ariel’s question.

 She lifts her eyebrows at her mom. “Yes?”

 Mary Margaret smiles kindly at Ariel. “Thank you so much for the interview, Ariel.”

 “Oh, it was my honor, Your Majesty.” Ariel bows her head a bit. “I’ll be off to edit and write up a story. I’ll have it sent to you when it’s done for approval.”

 “Wonderful.” Mary Margaret says on a smile that creates lines by her eyes. She looks at Emma. “So I was talking with Leo and he said he might like a family night tonight, if you’re free.”

 Her chest pangs with longing. It’s been far too long since they’ve had a family night. They’re always so much fun, whether it’s watching movies in the garden, or dancing in the ballroom, or baking in the kitchen without the staff.

 A smile spreads wide on her face, unable to keep away, and she laughs. “I’ll have to check with Killian, but yeah, I’m definitely game for family night. What do you think we’ll do?”

 Mary Margaret shrugs, grinning as she glances over at Killian, who has started a conversation with Sebastian. “I don’t know… I was kind of hoping we could introduce Killian to our holiday traditions.”

 She has to admit, being home again has ignited a joy in her she’d thought had been long forgotten. She’s excited at the idea of Christmas at the castle, even if the idea of being Princess Emma again is less appealing.

 So far, she’s found herself aching with the fond memories come to present day, with the trees decorated the same they were when she left, and the music that plays in the halls just the same volume.

 It’s beckoning her to stay, and maybe she would if she weren’t currently lying to the whole world about her relationship status.

 Even thinking for a moment about the complete failure of her attempt at keeping this between her parents, Leo, and she and Killian makes her nearly shake with anxiety.

 “I’m sure Killian would love that,” Emma tells her mother, much to the woman’s delight.

 Mary Margaret rubs Emma’s arm. “Alright. Let me know. I’ll get out of your hair. Thank you for humoring your old lady mom who wants to make a fuss over you.”

 Emma’s shoulders fall and she shakes her head. Her mother has spent five years with minimal contact with her, so it’s only right that she give her some hope and kindness while she’s here.

 “Mom… you’re not an old lady.” Off a heavy sigh, she adds, “I love you.��

 Her mother’s hand finds hers and she squeezes. “I love you too, Emma.”

 They linger for a moment or two and then she does as she’d promised, leaving with the last of the camera equipment and crew. She’s left with Killian, still looking handsome in his suit and with his hair slightly slicked back.

 He grins lopsidedly at her and she finds herself smiling. Her eyes fall to the floor when a slight flush of embarrassment joins the quickening pace of her heartbeat.

 “Well, that was quite the eventful morning.” Killian breaks the silence.

 She meets his eyes. “Yeah…” Emma hesitates and shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”

 “No, hey,” Killian hushes her. He crosses what’s left of the room to meet her, his hands immediately finding hers. He holds onto her tight and she looks up, caught in the kindness of his bright blue eyes. “You don’t have to keep apologizing. I agreed to help you. This is helping you.”

 Emma’s shoulders fall. “But it’s a big deal now, Killian. Everyone back in New York is gonna find out, and they’re going to write up articles about you, because you’re engaged to the Princess of Misthaven, and…” She releases his hands and steps back. “And they’ll write articles about me, too, because I’ve been missing for so many years.”

 Her eyes squeeze shut. She presses her hands over her face and groans. “This is not what I wanted.”

 Killian is almost too quiet, so she pulls her hands away from her eyes and finds him with a clenched jaw, taking his fingers through his hair quickly.

 “It’s not what I wanted either,” he admits. “But it’s happening, so we have to just… let it go. We know the truth. That’s what matters. So what if they write some misinformed articles about us?”

 “It could ruin your life. It could ruin mine.” Emma all but shouts. She’s feeling about a million times worse than she did when this discussion began. “And you didn’t sign up for that.”

 He sighs heavily. “Emma, there’s nothing that can be done now. I’m not worried.”

 “How?” she exclaims. “You’re… there’s…”

 Killian shakes his head. “I suppose I’ve got faith it’ll all work for the best in the end.” His soothing smile is almost enough to pull her out of her own head. “Were you going to take me on a tour of Misthaven, then, Nolan?”

 Emma looks down at herself and sighs. They’re not going to keep talking about the fact that she’s a big fat failure, so at least there’s that.

 “Yeah. I just need to change first.”

 Gently, her best friend lowers a kiss to the top of her head. “Hey. You’ve got me, no matter what happens, aye?”

 Her heart skips a frantic beat. “As long as we don’t ruin this with my parents, we should be fine. We just need to get through the rest of the week without any other gigantic mishaps.”

 Killian’s expression falls, as if disappointed, and then a grin twitches at the corners of his lips. “Well, I don’t intend on slipping up, so what’s the worst thing that could happen aside from that?”

 Emma scoffs. She takes a few big steps backward toward the door. “Well, if this were one of those Hallmark movies you always watch, my parents could invite my ex to visit and there could be a dramatic love triangle.”

 He arches an eyebrow. “Well. That wouldn’t happen. In our situation.”

 Emma laughs. “I know. I’m just saying.” She reaches the door of her mother’s study and settles her hand on the knob. “Come on, we should get dressed for walking around in the cold.”

 “As you wish.”

 She opens the door and takes a step out into the hall, already thinking five steps ahead, about what she’ll order at Granny’s as soon as they get there- she’s damn excited to share it with Killian- so she hardly notices anything else.

 “Emma?”

 The sound of the familiar voice stops her dead in her tracks. She turns, eyes widening, and she discovers, to her heart’s delight, the sight of a former friend long lost.

 Laughter bubbles past her lips and she shakes her head. “Graham? What are you doing here?”

 The Irishman seems just as surprised as she feels. She walks quickly to him and as soon as she reaches him, she wraps her arms around his shoulders, so her face tucks into his neck. It’s a familiar safe place, something that soothes her eyes shut as she basks in his warmth.

 “Your father invited me,” Graham murmurs. “I… didn’t think it wise to show up right when you first arrived, so I waited.”

 “You waited a day,” Emma teases on a laugh.

 They pull apart and Emma shakes her head slowly at him. She admires the way time has treated him, how much stronger and wise he seems. He smiles in that soft way, the one that initially made her fall for him, and she thinks her heart breaks.

 “I can’t believe you’re home,” he says on a breath, smile spreading. “How long are you here?”

 Emma grins. “A week. Just for Christmas.”

 Graham hums. His smile fades ever so slightly when he draws his attention to Killian- Killian!

 Emma whirls around and shakes her head. “Sorry. Uh, Killian, this is Graham, Graham, this is my fiancé Killian.”

 She watches as the pair of them extend hands to shake. “A pleasure.”

 “It’s good to meet you, Killian.” Graham smiles. He looks at Emma. “Uh…”

 Faced with abandoning one friend for another, Emma clears her throat and speaks up, “We were going to go for a tour and a stop at Granny’s… if you want to…”

 “Oh, sure. If you don’t mind me tagging along. It’s just been so long since I’ve seen you. I can’t wait to catch up.” Graham looks at Killian for approval.

 Her current best friend shrugs. “I don’t see why not. Sure. We were just going to change clothes first.”

 “By all means.” Graham smiles kindly. He looks at Emma with brightness in his eyes. “I’ll be waiting downstairs by the garden doors.”

 She can’t help but smile, thinking of the old days when he’d say he’d meet her there before sneaking out for the night. “Okay.”

 With her heart still aflutter, Emma turns back to Killian and she dazedly wanders toward her bedroom with him at her side.

 As soon as they’re inside, and Emma’s heading into the closet for more appropriate clothes, Killian asks with just a hint of jealousy, “What was that you said about your ex being invited for Christmas?”

 Emma scoffs. “We dated for like six weeks before he went and joined the military and he never came back for me or wrote to me, so… that flame is gone.” With slightly narrowed eyes, she smirks and asks, “You jealous, Killian?”

 She hears him stop whatever he’d been doing before he hurriedly says, “What? No. Of course not. You’re free to date whomever you choose. I’m just your pretend fiancé for the week. We’re just… bestest friends who kissed once.”

 Humming, Emma slips her arms through a sweater and drags it over her torso.

 She walks to the doorway of her closet and discovers Killian without his shirt on, grabbing for his favorite cable-knit sweater. From this angle, she can’t see his face, but she certainly can see the muscles of his back and the way his arms bulk up when he flexes them.

 Suddenly, her heart drops straight to her belly.

 She’s smack dab in the middle of one of those Hallmark movies Killian likes to pretend he doesn’t like watching, isn’t she?

 Killian turns once the sweater is on and an easy smile crosses his lips. “You ready to go, Nolan?”

 She blinks dumbly and nods. “Yeah. Okay.”

[thotyssey]

On Point With: Preston Burford

This GLAM nominee became a a drag-favorite photographer largely by accident. Thriving outside the realm of NYC nightlife, the Dallas-born Preston Burford has a successful daytime job that fulfills him, and always thinks of himself as an editor above all else. Nonetheless, he’s presented us with some of the most fun and stunning visuals of drag fabulousness in recent memory, whether his subjects are Drag Race All-Stars or young queens on the rise.

Thotyssey: Preston, thanks so much for talking with us today! So I loved that mock-up magazine cover featuring your photo of Monét X Change in the runway look from the latest episode of Drag Race All-Stars. Paper Magazine, whose Kim Kardashian cover from years back informed   Monét’s tribute, reposted it! That must’ve been a fun shoot. Preston Burford: It was a very fun shoot! Monét is always a blast to work with, and she makes the long days of shooting feel so short. The most recent look for the “Curves and Swerves” runway involved a lot of fine-tuning her pose to make sure everything was visible, while still trying to match the original photo the look was based off. In the end, it all came together so well. We had quite a few people on set with us while shooting her All-Star looks so it was a team effort. And I'm happy with the response the photos are getting!

[Monet X Change by Preston]

Did you basically shoot all those runway looks from her in one day?

We spread out the shoots into three days, because she's changing her makeup for each look to match how it was on TV. We knew it would be daunting to try and do all the looks in one day. She's also very busy with gigs, so finding time was the main hurdle.

I bet! By the way, did you understand at all how Monét wound up in the bottom two on this last episode? It wasn't even consistent with what the judges were telling her.

My theory is that they wanted a Sophie’s Choice for whoever won the lip sync. Making Monique choose between her closest friend and a legend who fans would freak over leaving... and vice versa, Manila having to choose a close friend or someone who obviously did better overall so far. It was for drama’s sake, which I find disappointing from a competition standpoint.

Also, the producers seem to have some obsession with Valentina... so they didn't want her in the bottom.

Absolutely, on both counts! Valentina seems like she's probably a lot to deal with in life... but she certainly photographs well. Maybe you'll shoot her one day!

I mean, she's photogenic, so I wouldn't turn her away. But I'm not good at hiding my emotions, so I don't know how long I could handle that eye-rolling alternate reality she's living in.

There are certainly a lot of divas in the biz! How did you find yourself in the position you are in today, shooting famous and local people in the drag and nightlife scenes?

It started out, and still is, a hobby. My day job isn't photography, so it started out as just me owning a camera for a hobby. About six years ago, my friend Roxy Brooks came to me needing some shots for promotion, and we came up with the idea of using the green screen that I use for film projects at work. The photos came out so well that other local queens wanted shots with creative backgrounds, and it snowballed from there. 

The big turn was when Bob The Drag Queen came to me wanting to shoot some looks right before her season was announced, and we did the shot of her carrying the baby and walking through a burning NYC. That's when random people started knowing who I was. Now, I feel so jaded just working constantly with these queens that people would die to meet and hang out with. I never predicted I'd be where I am right now, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

What is your day job, by the way?

I work at a Broadway-based design and marketing firm called Serino Coyne. I do Motion Graphics for their Broadcast department. I get to work doing commercials for many of the big Broadway shows including Wicked, Frozen, Dear Even Hansen, Torch Song, Aladdin, Phantom of the Opera and so many others. It's a really fulfilling job.

Wow! Do your associates from that world know about Preston the drag photographer?

They do! Most of them follow me on social media, and enjoy that my hobby crosses over with the TV show they watch each week. They always come to me as if I'm going to know spoilers, which I never ask the queens I work with.

[Bob the Drag Queen by Preston]

Do you find that most of the queens you shoot have a pretty clear idea of what they want, or are they looking to you for editorial ideas?

Most just want to look pretty and then they trust my judgement after that, but some definitely come in with a very clear and precise idea of what they want the final photo to look like. I personally like when they know exactly what they want. I always think of myself as more of an editor than a photographer, so the post production is what excites me. I like a focused challenge.

You collaborated on those short videos Yuhua Hamasaki put out last year featuring all the season’s challenge looks. That mermaid one was particularly sickening.

Talk about a challenge! Yuhua is a great example of someone with a clear view of what she wants the final product to be. I won't lie, I has no clue how much I signed up for when I said yes to editing those 15+ videos... but I'm very proud of how they turned out. Eric Miclette and Jono Freedrix did an epic job of directing those, and we shockingly shot them all in a single day. My schooling was in special effects for film, and it was nice to be able to show that off on such a creative platform that drag provides. Although now, every drag queen wants a similar video, and the time involved on projects like that gives me an anxiety attack.

 Do you think there are any particular themes or details that set your final photos apart from other photographers in the scene, like David Ayllon or James Michael Avance? 

Both David and Michael are genius photographers and editors; I get excited every time I see an update from them. I think we each have our separate style to how we photograph and edit; I know the moment I see a photo which one of them worked on it. I think that's something many photographers strive to accomplish -- a unique style that people know without seeing a name who worked on that photo. 

In your photos, you all seem to have an understanding that drag queens are like real-life superheroes in so many ways.

There's a whole group of photographers -- not only in NYC -- that really help drag queens put to focus their visions, and really do in a way make them superheroes. 

It's risky to read the comment sections on social media whenever a photo is posted, but there's really a surreal feeling to see the reactions of people being moved by a drag queen’s unique art. It's definitely amazing to be a little part of that process.

[Yuhua Hamasaki by Preston]

What should a young queen know right away when she wants to work with you?

Photoshop has its limits, haha! Honestly, my number one piece of advice would be to make sure they know who they are as queen. I see a lot of new queens get lost in trying to be something they aren't. Photographs last forever online, and that comes back whenever you start getting successful. I always tell the queens to relax, be yourself, and look at the camera like it's your best friend... or your enemy depending on the theme of the shoot. Although if anyone is coming to me for advice, God help them.

[Cherry Poppins by Preston]

Do you have a favorite shot that you've done?

I have a few, but it changes quite often. I loved the way the shot of Miz Cracker turned out from her Glitter runway look this last year...

[Miz Cracker by Preston]

From an editing standpoint, I've always loved the shot of Ms. Cheng with the red dress on a balcony in Paris... 

[Ms. Cheng by Preston]

Fan favorites always seem to be Bob with the baby on her chest, as well as Bob with Monet as a baby in her arms. 

[Bob the Drag Queen & Monet X Change by Preston]

For the last couple of years, I've been doing a series of photographs which are parodies of Broadway shows with the geniuses Sutton Lee Seymour and  Cacophony Daniels. Those have been a blast to help create, and I just feel so proud that I'm involved with that series.

[Cacophony Daniels & Sutton Lee Seymour by Preston]

Congratulations on your GLAM nomination for Best Photographer! Although, I recall that you discouraged people from voting for you.

I did, but not because I'm not ecstatic to get the nomination. It's a nightlife award... and while I do work with nightlife personalities, I don't really feel like I'm a nightlife worker. I'm in bed by 10pm every night, and going to the gym when nightlife people are heading home. I just had a moment when I realized that winning wouldn't change my path in my art, but for some of the others nominated it totally could propel them forward. I'd rather see someone who could benefit from the award win it, as well as someone who's truly interacting nightly with nightlife.

I also lied, I don't go to the gym.

Ha! Okay, any other projects or shoots coming up that we should be looking out for?

I'm working with another Drag Race queen on her weekly runway looks, but the announcement hasn't happened yet... so I'm staying hush hush about that. Also the rest of Monet's All-Star looks... how many more? Guess you'll have to wait and see.

I just this last week shot with 10 brand new queens and Heidi Haux for the second season of the Iconic Drag Competition at Icon Astoria. And I just shot with Roxy Brooks for her European tour coming up. Yuhua Hamasaki and I have a shoot coming up with some fun ideas planned. There's definitely a lot to look forward to... I honestly don't know where I'm finding the time for this.

You’re amazing! Okay, last question: who's a queen, Drag Race-famous or otherwise, that you'd really like to shoot but haven't yet?

I've actually never shot with Bianca, even thought I've known her since before she was on the show, and she lived across the hallway from my best friend. I would love to do a shoot with her and Lady Bunny, since they love / hate each other so much. I think something wonderful would come from that shoot. There's so many other queens I'd enjoy working with too, too many to be named.

Go get ‘em! Thank you, Preston!

Follow Preston Burford on Instagram and Twitter, and his check out his pending website.

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