#especially cause you were very proud to bring up that youve been in all these actual battles!

[youngpettyqueen]

Malcolm ilu but ur being a lil bitch and not in the fun way

[mochiimiiki]

| Be my valentines |

[zhongli, Venti, Childe, Xiao, Kaeya, Diluc x F!reader]

Here’s the scenario:

You’re alone on valentine’s day, probably thinking of your own problems and not paying close attention to the festivities of this new event. That is until he approaches you.

You’re standing alone in Liyue harbour. Watching the people of Liyue busy themselves down below. It was easy to distinguish the couples from the singles, as they all seemed to flock together.

You don’t notice the geo archon approaching until he clears his throat.

To which you’re obliged to spin around and face your contender, to your surprise you’re met with a familiar simple smile. A smile in which the last few months you had grown accustomed to.

You countered back with your own cheerful smile, eyes squinting against the sunlight as wrinkles formed around your eyes.

Your expression was priceless to the archon. Something that he would gladly die laying his eyes upon it for a final time.

Now unbeknownst to you Zhongli had made it his mission to confess his feelings to you, afterall Zhongli new all of Liyue’s history and he new today was a day of not only couples celebrating but of confessions.

The archon pulled a magnificent bouquet of glaze lilies out from behind him. He watched as your eyes lit up in twinkles and you gladly accepted his gift.

Clearing his throat he begun. “Y/N in the last few months we have spent together I have found myself growing rather... attached persay.”

“I was wondering if you would do me the honours of—”

“Yes!” You cheered, cutting himself off mid sentence.

“You didn’t even allow me to formally ask, it’s not official until I do so.” This grandpa and contracts I tell you.

Anyways in the end he officially asked you to be his girlfriend to which you joyously accepted and you spent the rest of the day together, showering each other in love.

Troubles long forgotten.

You’re actually relaxing in mond as you listen to your little bard friend play. He’s singing and dancing about making children laugh and couples smile.

He sings and tells tales of romances from long ago, how they fought to be with one another and died to stay together.

The talk of romances and relationships has you sighing, you had wanted to ask Venti to be your valentine but had cowered out at the last minute. Kaeya (your friend) had tried to convince you to continue, but unfortunately there’s no way to sway a stubborn mind.

Venti jumps over to you and plops himself down beside you. Leaning up against you which in turn cause a ferocious blush to spread across your cheeks, you spin away praying he missed it.

He didn’t of course.

Venti hums quietly to himself before finally piping up. “You know Y/N you’re so troublesome, I’d dare say more so than me!”

“No i’m not Venti!”

“You are so! You go about acting like you’re fine when there’s a question youve been dying to ask me all day, you can’t deny it I see through your lies.”

He booped you on the nose as your face snapped back to meet his turquoise gaze. HE KNEW?!

Venti whispered into your ear. “Kaeya told me, and yes. I’ll be your valentine.” He hummed sweetly before jumping up and singing once more.

You’d kill Kaeya if you ever saw him again, although he did get you your valentines so you couldn’t be too mad at him...

no you were defo mad and totally hit him as venti cheered you on

in the end you and Venti spent a wonderful day together singing and dancing and falling more madly in love than ever before, to top it off the two of you watched the stars from his statue.

Where you may or may not have shared a first kiss.

Childe didn’t actually formally ask you to be his valentines but he had seen your troubled expression earlier and big brother instincts took place.

He had grabbed your hand and said “Girlie let’s have a little fun, shall we?”

And so the two of you spent the day together, running from stall to stall eating fine Liyue cuisine.

Playing festive valentine games and winning each one, you know how Childe is hes in it to win it no other way.

It was the end of the day when the two of you had found a spot not far from Liyue, but far enough to be alone.

There you two sat alone, well actually with a giant bear Childe had won for you.

This time you spoke up first. “Childe... I wanted to ask you and I know valentine’s day is basically over but... would you be my valentine?”

Childe was taken aback. “Ojou-chan...” He began. “Wasn’t that what we were doing all day?”

hold up. WHAT??

“No way! Childe that wasn’t- did you think that was a date?”

“THAT WASN’T A DATE?!”

It took awhile to explain but he finally realised that no it wasn’t a date. Ngl he was disappointed but then realised you asked him out anyways so he cheered up fast.

Please he’s just a child someone explain to him you have to formally ask these things...

Okay please this man. “I have no interest in mortal festivities.”

He doesn’t. He really doesn’t. So lowkey like Childe you’re going to have to bring it up.

You go to Wangshu inn in hopes he hasn’t gone off to fight demons and as luck would have it he hasn’t!

You go up to his floor and see him staring across the endless Dihua marshas. In the golden light of the evening they’re actually something to marvel at.

You clear your throat in an attempt to get his attention.

He acknowledges your presence with a grunt and a, “What now?”

Nervously you step forwards and begin. “I made you almond tofu! A-and some chocolates... of course you don’t have to accept them but they’re for you so here!”

Xiao turns to face you. And unlike your expectations of having him meet you angrily at disturbing his peace hes actually surprised, shocked even. A mortal has never prepared him any kind of delicacy before.

Never mind that and chocolates. He isn’t oblivious to what you’re trying to do and he’s well accustomed to the ways of the Liyue people.

He knows exactly what he’s doing when he accepts them from you.

“I’m not very good with words... but if you want me to be your valentine you didn’t have to go through all the trouble. I may not care for mortal festivities but... I care for you.”

please marry me.

HOHOHO Kaeya.

Kaeya knows what he’s doing better than anyone in the seven counties of Teyvat. He has it all planned out.

Meet you in the morning with chocolates and a bouquet of flowers and then bring you to his favourite restaurant for some of mond’s finest cuisine and then he’ll take you out of the city where the two of you can watch the stars while sipping on dandelion wine.

However, the moment he sees you standing at the fountain centered in mond he’s for once at a loss for words.

You were utterly breath taking, a sight that he wished to savour like a fabulous glass of a 60 year old bottle of death afternoon wine.

You turned around and spotted Kaeya, waving him over. For a moment he forgot himself and actually stood staring. Before realising he wasn’t frozen in place and ran over to you.

Kaeya grinned his usual charismatic smile and handed you chocolates and calla lilies.

“I was wondering perchance, if this fine lady would do me the honours of accompanying me on such a romantic holiday?”

With a charming grin and honey laced words who could say no? Of course you were madly in love with this man so you accepted within a heartbeat.

Believe me when I say, Kaeya knows how to treat a woman. And that’s like a queen.

You went to visit him at Dawn Winery. He said he was too busy with work to come up to mond so you wanted to surprise him with a little gift; a box of chocolates prepared especially.

Like Xiao and Childe you were going to have to make the move with someone like Diluc. He didn’t care so much as for physical displays of affection and while he always took initiative love was a foreign language to him and so he didn’t know where to begin.

His butler let you in and you headed straight over to his office, knocking on his door.

“come in.” You heard the familiar low raspiness of his voice, a telltale sign he was overworking himself.

Upon entering you presented the chocolates with a proud smile. Almost immediately he got up from his seat and went over to greet you.

“I never expected to see you here Y/N but may I say you have made my day... and oh? What’s this?”

“Chocolates Diluc. I made them for you and I was uh... actually wondering something.”

He took them from your hands with a smile. He knew what you wanted to ask and yet he longed for you to speak the words.

“What is it Y/N?”

“Would you... be my valentine?”

Diluc’s smile grew, it was wider than you had ever seen it and it even seemed like a childish manour danced in his eyes.

He carefully embraced you and planted a kiss to your forehead sighing in pure bliss.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

[blxetsi]

modern sasha braus dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!sasha braus x gn!reader

had to write something for my queen 😌✨

- she shares her food with you. I Dont Care She Does

- also since this is a modern au i dont think she would have such an obsession with food as she does in the canonverse (if we can even call it an obsession) i still think she would have a big appetite (and she'd be proud of it tf 😏🙏) but i just dont see her always being hungry as the fandom makes her out to be

- really likes to hold hands with you

- i think itd be really cute if she was studying to become a baker ?? maybe taking a culinary course at the university you two attend ?? maybe you somehow met there or through a friend

- i think she'd still be insecure about her accent (ig if this is au is set in america she'd be from the south 😐🤚) and would speak kind of like a robot to people she didn't know that well

- connie and jean ALWAYS bring out her accent tho,, like with them she can really be herself

- i think when you were starting to get to know her she would be speaking very formally, and youd take it like shes being kinda stand offish or like,, just doesnt wanna talk so youre thinking "okay maybe she doesnt wanna be friends 😁👍" and would back off

- now sasha's upset because you are so cool and unique and she just wants to know so much about you but youve been very distant lately ?? like did she do something wrong ??

- she tells connie, jean, marco, and niccolo one night and connie and jean are on the side of "find y/n and demand to know why their behavior has changed" while marco and niccolo are on the side of "respectfully dm y/n and ask why they havent been wanting to see sasha recently"

- sasha goes with the latter of the two and dms you after passing you in the dining hall, you two literally keep glancing at each other, texting while you sit with your respective friend groups

- after everything gets cleared up sasha is immediately inviting you to hang out with her crew, and even getting some of her other friends like eren, mikasa, and ymir and historia to come join too

- if she has all the people shes comfortable with there, itll be less scary talking with her accent !

- You Love It. You Think Its Adorable.

- you guys would definitely have a friends to lovers type relationship

- like friendly hugs turn into slightly longer hugs, and now sasha will constantly ask to sit next to you during movie nights

- loves to rest her head on your lap while she spreads across the couch

- i think you two would have your first kiss in niccolos apartment

- you two were sitting in his kitchen, with sasha munching on the leftover food he made that night for your get together

- his mom had called him so he decided to leave to go to his bedroom to answer it

- and slowly you guys just kind of,,,, leaned in 🙈✨

- it was slow and really romantic, kinda rough with the crumbs that were around sasha's lips but you didn't mind

- niccolo barged in and ruined the moment 😐🤚 good going pal 😁👍

- you two were so shocked that you two tried to leave

- ended up just walking down the road in silence like wtf i thought yall were trying to get away from each other 😭😭😭😭

- sasha ended up staying the night 🤩‼️

- NOT in a sexual way

- but in like a,,,, rue and jules kinda way where jules comes in through the window (but only sasha didnt come in through the window she came in the front door with you) and you two held each other and gave each other smooches for the rest of the night

- sasha woke up late and missed her morning classes 😐🤚 didnt even care and went back to sleep with you

- i think for the most part you get along well with her friend group

- youre definitely closer to connie, jean, niccolo, marco, and historia

- ymir teases you guys a lot and you cant tell if what she says is just jokes (it always is) or if shes completely serious

- eren, mikasa, armin, annie, along with reiner and bertholdt are more of aquantances to you, just because you dont see them as often as you do the others

- she has such a weird relationship with her english professor

- will literally complain how much work he gives his class and then the next day will gush about how great he his bc he gave her a granola bar for her effort in her assignment

- girl pick a script and stick to it 😐🤚

- has a collection of stuffies on her bed. i dont make the rules.

- anytime theres a carnival in town she drags EVERYONE there.

- you all agree to split up into groups so you can all check out what you want, but you always agree to meet up and eat funnel cake together 🥺

- sasha tries to get you to win her new stuffies

- if you cant do it, or just want some for yourself, shes calling connie and niccolo up PLEADING with them to come find you guys,

- then she claims theres been an ACCIDENT and that you two need help

- niccolo is zooming bc he cares abt his besties 😌✨

- connie texts jean and marco to come find you guys too 😭😭😭

- who gets a kick and a lecture for lying courtesy of niccolo ? sasha. but who also gets a bunch of stuffies won for her courtesy of niccolo ? sasha.

- for your anniversary i think she'd want to do something really fun with you

- she'd set up a pillow fort and have a bunch ot string lights and stuff, have all of her favourite stuffies (which are the ones she thinks of you when she sees) in there too.

- she has chips, she baked little pastries and cookies, and she ordered your favourite takeout

- you guys just watch whatever you want on netflix or whatever and its such a nice night

- it becomes a tradition for you guys, but you two always take turns with setup

- one year sasha did all of the planning, baking and whatnot ? okay now its your turn 😁👍

- you guys even started doing themes now 🤩

- if you guys play board games with your friends youre on sasha's side whether you want to be or not.

- shes also the kind of person that says "i can win fair and square !" but then when bertholdt starts kicking her ass in monopoly her script changes real quick 🙄

- now its "y/n,,, give me some of ur money" and "y/n, buy this property for me" like girl,,,, what happened to playing fair 😍⁉️

- will try and do all of those s/o pranks you see on tiktok

- its hard to get a genuine reaction out of you bc you can TELL SHES RECORDING but she tries anyways

- we love a perservering queen 😌✨

- will call you at random times of the day asking if you guys can see each other

- "y/n ??? are you there ??" "sasha its 2am wtf do you want 😐" "do you wanna ride your bike with me down to the park 🥺"

- also is very observant, knows when youre overworking yourself

- will try and pull you away from what youre working on like "lets go get you something to drink, or maybe we can watch an episode of that show you like before you continue working !"

- if youre persistent that you just HAVE to finish it tonight and cant stop and take a break she'll respect that, until you stay at your laptop for over an hour 😐

- just softly pulls you away like "no lovebug, lets get some sleep okay ?"

- is also very protective of you

- overheard someone making fun of you ?? talking shit ??? her besties better hold her back before she gets suspended 😤‼️

- and since connie and jean absolutely ADORE you, you better believe theyre helping their girl sasha out

- those three are the LEADERS of the "protect y/n club"

- it just becomes niccolo and marco trying to dissolve the situation before it gets physical, and then reiner and armin joining when they walk directly into the chaos

- armin tells you what happened and as much as youre thankful that sasha cares about you so much that she'd defend you like that, you lecture her, jean and connie on not making scenes like that again

- sasha's love language is kind of like,, a mixture of quality time and physical touch

- she just really loves spending time with you, but also very much enjoys being in your arms

- she doesnt shy away from it, and is usually the one to initiate those things

- will hold your hand PROUDLY down hallways or on streets

- always hypes you up too, shes very much so your personal hypeman

- "oh lovebug you look SO GOOD rn oh my god" "sasha pls im in my pyjamas" "and you look like a model baby !"

- sasha is very stubborn however, and if you guys ever fight she is NEVER the one to apologize first, or seek you out to talk about it

- even if shes in the wrong she cant bring herself to admit it, she dug herself into such a deep hole with the stance she took that she doesnt want to take the walk of shame in admitting that she wasnt right

- this can cause a lot of problems in your relationship, but after you explain how much it affects you, shes trying to change

- will always work on her stubborn-ness and pride

- and it actually makes her feel a lot better being able to admit defeat, or being wrong

- she really likes being communicative and honest, especially with you

- i think overall your relationship with sasha is very very fun, filled with good memories, good food, good friends, and most importantly, love.

no bc i really do love her 😐🤚 lemme marry miss braus rq 😏✨

hope u guys enjoyed !! remember requests are open so if you have anything youd like me to write DONT BE SHY ❤️‼️

[eturni]

Day 31 - Auld Lang Syne

I did it! It’s Day 31 of @drawlight​  advent calender prompt list https://drawlight.tumblr.com/post/188869931294/aziraphale-crowley-for-half-an-hour-youve-been and we have Auld Lang Syne. It’s quarter past midnight and I was writing through into the New Year. May this be a sign of things to come.

Song is built into the human psyche. Voices are raised in song as celebration, praise and mourning alongside almost every emotion that touches a life. It was naturally linked to the first angelic choirs providing missives from On High but it seemed built into their hearts. They used their voices to reach each other the same way they reached out in times of disaster or reached out to the stars.

In the right situations and with the right intentions songs can be prayer. Where they hold hope. Where they ask for good to come or try to ease pain.

Auld Lang Syne is like that. A prayer for the future, for better.

It’s 2026 and Warlock has come back to the UK to study at Edinburgh University. Humanities, much to their father’s dismay and a certain demon’s chagrin. Aziraphale declares this the perfect excuse to go back and take part in the Hogmanay celebrations, not to mention refill his stores of the good whiskey and some select delicacies.

Warlock’s friends are entirely enchanted by the demon and angel that turn up for the celebrations. Warlock insists that they will be, under no circumstances, joining the three of them for the celebrations in spite of Aziraphale’s warm assurances that it would be no bother at all and Crowley’s evident glee at the amount of embarrassment that he causes just by being seen.

There are a significant number of “Oh, that explains.” and “They really weren’t kidding, huh?” among the general chatter that ensures Crowley knows there have been stories told about Nanny Ashtoreth and how Warlock was raised.

They’re rushed out of the flat share and towards Edinburgh centre in a flurry of stylish black and glitter that has Aziraphale looking at him with something fond in his eyes. “Alright, knock it off brother Francis.” Warlock glowers as best they can, falling back into the names they still used when they felt the two were treating them like they were still eleven.

“Of course, young Warlock,” Aziraphale grins, like the bastard he is “please lead on. I’ll trust your judgements as to the best spots for the festivities.”

There’s a sense of warmth and revelry thrumming through the city as they wander and Crowley soaks in the latent sins just waiting to be acted upon. Sometimes it’s difficult to be off the clock; especially when opportunities are so rife and spirits are so high.

Continue reading on AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/21638803/chapters/52644403 or:

“Gonna be weird not hearing Big Ben, angel.” Crowley points out instead, bringing Aziraphale’s hand up to brush a kiss against his knuckles. Even half a step in front of them Warlock catches the motion and rolls their eyes.

Aziraphale only chuckles and moves a little closer. “My dear, we’ve been without before when they were doing the maintenance. And for years before. We’ll manage I think.”

“Yeah. Suppose it’s better being with the little terror for the holidays as well. We’re very proud of you by the way, young Warlock.” Crowley grins over to the teen, voice slipping back and forth between his normal voice and nanny’s soft brogue.

“Yeah, don’t make a big deal out of it.” The teen shrugs. Aziraphale all but beams at the redness that tinges Warlock’s as they continue to lead them through the streets and point out places that they went with their new little university friends.

Crowley can see hints of fires in the distance down at Princess Street and hear the pounding strains of music in amongst all of the chatter and cheer.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?

He watches Warlock move ahead of them and thinks of Adam down south at Cambridge. The Antichrist and the child who might have been the Antichrist. Both of them living relatively settled lives, working on bettering themselves, and looking to a future that had seemed all but impossible when Crowley had begged Aziraphale to run to the stars with him.

There had been a time that Crowley was going to try and forget. They’d done enough damage to Warlock in the raising of the child and Adam had more than enough of the supernatural in that brush with the almost apocalypse and everything that had come with it. In the end it had been Aziraphale who’d encouraged him to try and make contact again; sensing how conflicted the demon was at having these two kids, who’d brushed with the forces of Hell, and just leaving them to it.

Now they’re practically true godfathers to two children, and that’s without counting The Them whose memories had been altered after the event but were often far too Knowing regardless and seem to have been left with some sort of imprint to their psyches.

Crowley frequently finds himself looking closely at them and hoping that they’re a sign of the kind of safe hands the world will be in within a couple more decades.

We’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet.

Aziraphale and Crowley had spent millennia apart and centuries close and decades together. There had been constant matches about the inherent goodness of humans. There had been constant matches about how unfair it was to expect people to behave just as well no matter the disadvantage you set them up with at the beginning.

No matter what their positions had been at any given time there was almost always a drink to be shared between them.

No matter who was doing the wiling or the thwarting their story had wound together in equal parts ill and good deed and, no matter what, in attempted kindness both given and received.

Crowley had spent so much of his time on Earth committing to kindness to the ‘wrong’ people in the name of subverting the will of Heaven. Lifting the poor, encouraging the downtrodden to revolution. Aziraphale looked back at it sometimes and wondered how he could have followed Heaven’s party line like a shield for so long from the only other person who truly understood the true potential in humans, and the true worth of them.

Aziraphale had spent so much of his time on Earth coming to truly understand the humans. Finding what they needed, understanding what was truly good beyond the rules that they set themselves. He had done without waiting for permission. Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. Often enough Crowley looked at this terribly brave, terribly hedonistic angel and wondered how he came to be so lucky. If it, too, wasn’t some part of the Ineffable plan that the angel liked to harp on about.

Both had found ways to be kind in a very human sense that fit neither of their roles.

surely ye'll be your pint-stoup and surely I'll be mine.

Crowley grins at the joy on Warlock’s face as they slip into their favourite local and buy a few pints to sup while they watch the world pass by the front window and let the pounding of the music thunder in echo-chamber chests.

“Mom would go absolutely mad if she knew I was drinking.” They chuckle after their first sip.

“Well, over here you’re legal. That’s all that matters to us, right angel?”

Aziraphale tilts his head a little. “Well, that and that you’re sensible when you drink. Have to remember that you don’t need to try to keep up with us.”

Crowley bit his lip at that, seeing the flash of challenge in Warlock’s eye. “He’s not kidding, you know. Aziraphale’s lost a liver before, its really not worth it when you can just enjoy it.”

Warlock takes another gulp before their glass clatters to the table. “Alright, that I have to hear.”

Crowley and Aziraphale look between each other; the angel in warning and the demon in pure glee. The firelight outside catches flame-red hair and shows a hint of truly happy eyes behind glasses. Aziraphale sighs deeply and sits back in his chair. “Alright, so, we were over in the Americas in the middle of the prohibition-”

“Oh, come on! Yeah you’re ancient but you’re not that old.” Warlock rolls their eyes in annoyance.

Crowley snorts a laugh that almost sends ale out of his nose when Aziraphale makes a sort of chalk-board squeak in the back of his throat. “Be that as it may, let me tell my story. You can decide on the truth of the particulars as you wish. Now, it’s at this time I was spending some time with my friend Ms Parker having some discussions about her husband’s behaviours and I’m afraid we got rather deep into some of the more contraband drinks.”

Crowley leans back in his seat; tuning out the chatter and the music and everything else as he watches his partner regale Warlock with old stories. He thinks of how much it’s possible to love one single ethereal being and how little of it should be his. But it is, and it will be for millennia to come. It’s still overwhelming years later and Crowley doesn’t think he’ll ever stop being in awe of it all.

We twa hae run about the braes and pou'd the gowans fine. But we've wander'd mony a weary fit sin' auld lang syne.

After a few more drinks the three of them pass back out into the street and follow streets until they find a familiar path that has Aziraphale gently clutching at Crowley’s arm with a smile. “Oh, I remember this place, my dear. There was a wonderful tailor who lived here back in the fifteenth century.”

Crowley stops in his wandering and motions for Warlock to do the same, happy to indulge Aziraphale for now.

“Yeah, makes sense angel. You always did go for the broken down districts.” He teases softly. It’s what makes Aziraphale the angel that most western humans based their stories on. A guardian angel who turned up in the harder areas and made what difference he could just by being there.

“Telling more tales?” Warlock asks archly with a roll of his eyes. Crowley knows he’s trying to goad another story out of Aziraphale. The kid doesn’t believe the stories, but they’re fascinating nonetheless. And it’s still slightly less bullshit than what they hear from their father.

“Maybe we are. You know, the castle being up on the hill like that? Great for defence but not so great for hunting. All the royals used to love that shit-” “Crowley, language!”

“-that bollocks, so they’d have a whole chunk of land set aside for them to hunt on that the commoners weren’t allowed onto. Now, if you’re an actual demon, and like causing fuss, and the laws of man certainly don’t apply to you, you might find yourself stopping to unleash non-native species onto hunting grounds. You might find yourself in a spot of trouble with the local regent. You might even find yourself helped out of it by someone who’s supposed to be your enemy, and who you thought was hundreds of miles away in Asia looking for early written texts.”

Aziraphale tuts at this. “Too many suppositions, Crowley. You’re telling it wrong. Let me, now-”

Crowley grins and falls into relative silence as Aziraphale tells one of the tales of how he had come to Crowley’s aid a few centuries ago.

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn, but seas between us braid hae roar’d

The two of them often had whole oceans separating them across the years. There have been times that midwinters were spent in lonely huts or new year celebrations with mortals whose faces they would not be able to remember in a few decades’ time.

There were years that they were close and yet never close enough. There were years it was a matter of rivers or streams between them.

There were years that it was their own fears alone that separated.

Invariably everything human that either of them did was made all the more special if they could share it together and that had made the last few years something that neither would give away for all the safety in the world.

Seas could roar and oceans could draw chasms between them and yet Aziraphale and Crowley had always been drawn back together, closer and faster each time. It had been pleasant to find that their natural collision actually just led them to settle into the other’s arms. Close enough that nothing but the occasional bickering argument would pass between them again.

And there's a hand, my trusty fiere, and gie's a hand o' thine, And we'll tak' a right gude-willie waught for auld lang syne!

The three of them are caught up at the stroke of midnight. The canon being fired at the castle echoes through the streets to cheers and laughter. Aziraphale leans in to kiss Crowley and Warlock politely does Not tell them to get a room.

Before long they’re in the midst of a small group forming a circle and taking up the strains of Auld Lang Syne. Warlock pulls a face as they get past the first couple of verses, entirely lost. Crowley leans in with a smile and leads his old charge through with the smallest of demonic miracles.

At the last verse they cross arms and link hands and Aziraphale can see the pure mischief in Crowley’s face. “Get ready to move, dear boy. We’ll all be heading for the centre.” He warns in Warlock’s ear, knowing that Crowley has no intention of telling the poor thing.

Even Warlock manages a startled laugh as they rush the centre at the end of the song, twisting around each other until they rush away again, facing outwards and into the new year.

Crowley’s face almost hurts from the smiling as he looks to Aziraphale and Warlock; the colours of the fireworks lighting bright faces in the cold night air.

They’ve gained a lot surviving the Apocalypse together and he feels like there’s only going to be more to be thankful for in the future with his heart full to bursting and an angel at his side.

“Happy New Year.” He grins, and it’s almost shy as Aziraphale turns to him practically glowing from within and wishes him the same.

“And so many more.”

[emperor-lover]

hi omg i love your minhyun scenarios so much!! cld u do one where you're both idols dating secretly but the public finds out and ships it? make it long please😘😘😘😘tyty

hi, thank you kind anon!! haha I tried making it long, and i’m sorry about the long wait! This will be in the same setting as the WGM!AU, so please read that if you haven’t yet! Enjoy!!!! xx

soooo Minhyun and you have been dating secretly ever since the WGM break up 

But one day you get a casting call to be the 2nd female lead in an upcoming drama

you’re really excited and you tell Minhyun about it

and he’s like wait, is this for this drama??

and you’re like yeah! wait how did you know?

And he’s like, I was going to tell you tonight but I got cast as the 2nd male lead!

and you’re both like omg

you’re going to be working together

what’s great is that even the public are like omfg my faves from wgm are going to be reunited on this drama

and everyone’s so excited because it’s been a couple of years since youve publicly interacted

and you know everyone kinda goes crazy when former wgm couples even so much as walk past each other or make eye contact

so the fact you’re both going to be acting together as a couple is a big deal

your managers are wary but they trust that you’ll be good at concealing it seeing as it’s already been a couple of years and no one has found out yet

also because you two have been really good at keeping your relationship a secret ever since wgm finished

like you’d never do anything that would cause suspicion

so you’d never wear couple items out when you went to the airport in case they’d get photographed

there was only one instance where both of you had promoted albums at the same time, but even then you’d make sure to only go to each other’s waiting rooms when there would be no cameras around

the time you two had gone on a date outside you had been so very careful, and had succeeding blending into the crowd like any other couple would

luckily both of you are homebodies, so lounging around at each others dorms was fine for both of you

which is why the two of you are actually so close because you literally tell each other everything

if a day has been tough for you, Minhyun just opens his arms up and you just melt into his embrace while he sings something sweet in your ear

on days that Minhyun happens to be feeling more tired than usual, you’ll bring over some homemade comfort food and some classic movies to watch until he falls asleep

you both kinda baby each other when someone is tired or under the weather, like Minhyun will tuck you into bed if you’re the one who falls asleep first and vice versa

also both of you have A++++ cuddling skills 

every couple of months on your days off, sometimes you’d go on long drives together to the countryside, where there wasn’t as many people

you’d go on walks along the coastline and find a nice area to sit and have a lil picnic

Because of how careful the two of you were though, you weren’t too sure what to do now that you’d be acting together

So on the day of the first table reading of the script, both of you just acted as if you hadn’t seen each other since wgm

Minhyun being the crap liar he is, had been attempting to to strike up a weird conversation at one point but it was so forced both of you were trying so hard not to laugh at each other

because it was being filmed, you were slightly nervous but after the video came out, you were pleasantly surprised about the majority of comments from knetz 

oh my god, look at this it’s my fave wgm couple’s reunion

aren’t they so cute, i can’t wait to see their scenes together in the drama

even at a table reading they’re perfect for each other

i wish they were dating for real ;;;;

Shooting went smoothly, especially because the chemistry between the two of you was very very real

The way that Minhyun had been looking at you was as if honey was dripping out of his eyes

“Either he’s a natural born actor, or he’s seriously in love with Y/N”

It was the same for you though, being around Minhyun all the time at work made it easy to become very casual around him

You’d playfully hit his arm if he messed up a take, or pull a silly face at him across the room before he had to act a serious scene

Fans were becoming more and more suspicious but played it off as if you two were just super close friends (which you are)

There were also a few kiss scenes, and they were all so damn natural

Even the director was like ???

Done in one-take?? Usually it takes a few more for people who don’t have much experience with kiss scenes

but nope, “you two are just so natural, it’s almost as if you’ve done this before??”

*cue nervous laughter*

so one night you’re hanging out at Minhyun’s dorm after a long day of filming and one of the pds calls you because there’s an extra scene that they need to add in to the upcoming episode and you’re needed

At the same time, Minhyun’s phone rings and it’s another pd who is also letting him know that he’s needed for said scene

And he’s like “yes, i’ll go there right away!” 

and the pd on the phone to you pauses slightly before asking…

“Why are you and Hwang Minhyun still together at 2AM?” 

So that’s how the staff found out about your relationship

Like it was obvious to people who worked with both of you closely that the two of you liked each other, but no one wanted to assume anything

Everyone was giving you knowing smiles when you went into work and you just sighed because you knew the staffs were never going to stop teasing

Literally the littlest thing they’d squeal over

“Y/N, why don’t you sit next to Minhyun for lunch break?”

“Aw did you see Minhyun gave Y/N his jacket because it was cold!”

They drink the same juice!!! That’s so cute, what do we do? Young love must be nice

Minhyun was having a concert and some of the cast decided to go to support

so you took this opportunity to go along too

Minhyun didn’t know you were going so you were planning on surprising him

and it was such a happy night, everyone bundled in backstage congratulating him on a successful concert

And you tried to sneak past to your manager who was holding onto the flowers you were planning on giving him

but Minhyun can recognise your silhouette anywhere so he immediately knew it was you bundled up in a black hoodie trying to squeeze away from the crowd

You had just about reached your manager when you felt Minhyun’s hand wrap round your wrist gently, pulling you round to face him

“Y/N!!! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming!”

His smile was practically blinding, you had to blink a few times to snap our of your daze

and you’re a stuttering mess, gesturing to the flowers and then to him and you don’t know what to say because you’re just so freaking proud of Minhyun

and he just laughs and pulls you into a hug and everyone is like OoOOOOoOOO ;))))

And you get one of the staff to take a photo of the two of you, and you both set it as your lockscreen for good luck

Usually you were both quite sweet to each other in behind the scenes videos

for example, there was a clip where you’d been playing with Minhyun’s hand, something that you tend do without thinking which was obviously the case here because you had been staring off into space

and Minhyun had just smiled at you before flicking your forehead gently

which snapped you out of your little bubble, so you scowled up at him 

and he had just giggled before tweaking your nose

so it became this little war going on of you swatting away his hands and him trying to flick your forehead or squeeze your cheeks

That though wasn’t the key player in the reveal of your relationship

What gave it away to the rest of the world was literally the smallest detail

But of course the detective fans had managed to spot something

The stylists had been fixing up Minhyun’s hair and makeup, when one of the staff had asked what the time was

And Minhyun had checked his phone

Someone had screenshotted and zoomed in on his phone until it was a blurry af image of the lockscreen

with more detective skills, fans discovered from the clothes that the people in the pic are wearing are the clothes that you were wearing to Minhyun’s concert

so surprise surprise, big reveal everyone deducts that the two of you are dating

and your company and pledis don’t deny or confirm anything straight away

also because at that time you had been preparing for a comeback with your group

and you were so worried about it affecting the comeback and also the drama negatively

You don’t even know how to react because your phone has exploded with messages

it’s just crazy overwhelming, and it’s the same for Minhyun

and you give him a call and he’s full of apologies

“Y/N, are you ok? i’m so sorry, I didn’t realise my phone lockscreen would be seen in that shot;;”

Just listening to his voice calms you down, and you try to reassure him that it isn’t his fault

“there’s no way you could have imagined that anyone would have seen that in the shot Minhyun, it’s ok!”

“I don’t know what the company is planning on doing, but all I know is that we’ll make it through this, together.”

Minhyun tells you to go to sleep early and wait to see what your companies statements will be in regards to your relationship in the morning

you’re scared to log on to check the news and you decide to avoid it completely

but your group member comes rushing into your room with a big smile on her face

“Y/N! Read this!!” shoving her phone into your face

You take the phone hesitantly but your eyes widen when you read it

Literally pages of comments praising your relationship and how happy they are that it’s real 

Everyone ships it.

Most of your friends were surprised that you were able to keep it hidden for so long

And the two of you still try to keep it super lowkey because no one likes it when couples are super PDA

BUT at the end of the year, you attended the big awards ceremony with Minhyun and everyone was just so amazed

because damn you guys are like so hot, wtf it’s really not fair

Minhyun is wearing this reallllly nice tuxedo that does so much justice for his broad shoulders and long legs

it’s like how is it possible that these two people who have great personalities, and are such talented visuals, exist??

AND THEY’RE DATING EACH OTHER?

Life isn’t fair, where are all the other people in the world who are perfect like you guys?

So of course, it was no surprise when they announced you and Minhyun as the winners of the best couple award for the drama you were in

And Minhyun’s such a gentleman, offering you his hand when you’re going up and down the steps to collect the award

and his eyes never leave your face during your thank you speech

and both of you are just so thankful that everything is just so perfect and meant to beeeee

like wow love really does exist, don’t lose hope y’all i say as I type out these scenarios and cry because it’s so unrealistic, you can only dream

lol the ending im sorry ;;;; anyways, thanks always for reading!! 

[survivor-kalymnos]

Finale - “Yikes on bikes!!!!” - Michele

Rain

 Franco, I’m so sorry. Listen, I love you so much. So much. But I need you to know that my game will not be ruined. I will not be destroyed or knocked down because I could not save you. I am going to rise. I am going to adapt and overcome, I’m going to outlast. I’m going to make you proud that I was your ally in the first place. At this point, I see my final 3. I want to be there with Worm and Lenny. Worm and Lenny have not only been my allies, they’ve been my friends. I trust them, even if we haven’t always voted together, to tell me the truth. And I think each of us could win at FTC. I think my ideal elim order goes like this: Dusty Frank Michele at f4. I need to win a challenge. I need to prove to the others that I am here to play and I’m here to win. People are underestimating me as not a threat, but they don’t understand that I’ve won twice and made FTC 5 or 6 times. They don’t understand that I know what the fuck I’m doing and that I can win if I just put my mind to it. The thing I’m concerned about going into the end here is Jury Management tm. It has been... less than ideal. And I just betrayed my closest ally, rip. So it’s time to put in the work, Rain, otherwise the jury is going to be raining on my parade in just three short rounds. 

Michele

EVEN RAIN VOTED FRANCO OUT SKSKSKSKSKSKS!!!!!! 

Michele

I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders with Francos departure! I believe the tribe can be at peace for at least for a moment

Dusty

Good morning all! Last night Franco went home without a hitch. And now here we are at final 6. Yesterday Worm informed me that himself, Lenny, and “Ratchele” were in an alliance, but Worm was flipping on Michele. Michele ended up staying so I wonder what this means for that alliance. Will the three of them stick together and take out the rest of us? Or are the lines broken? One things for sure is that I hope I win immunity so that I can save my idol for something else. I’m sticking loyal to Frank and Lenny, but I’m not sure if Lenny will want to stick with the two of us. In the case that the trio does stay solid then that just leaves Rain for us to work with. We could try to force a flip with a tie or use an idol. But before I start planning any crazy ideas I gotta talk to everybody and see how we’re feeling.....but of course it’s almost noon and no one else has spoken.... :)

Michele

Yikes on bikes!!!! There goes my plan to get Dusty out this round. Sorry Rain or Frank, process of elimination points to y’all.

lennyt

his is either going to be a really easy vote or complete chaos. Probably chaos. Yeah. 99% going to be chaos.

Michele

As long as I make it to the jury vote thats a win in my book! Looking around me I honestly don’t see myself winning the vote, but as long as I make it to the top thats enough for me! 

Frank

It’s so quiet and that scares me. It is Easter so people could be quiet due to that but there is also quarantine so I don’t think people are spending too much time with family. 6th place is my brand but I don’t want to it be Frank’s brand. I think I have people I trust but I haven’t heard a name yet. Rain and I have actually spoken this round and I think we’re good but we’re not working together so they can go. Either rain or worm ideally but michele can also go and I won’t be too upset.

Dusty

Feeling like a frog on a log cuz I’ve got a immunity tonight. Which means I’ve got my idol to play around with. Of course I can save it for next week to ensure a spot in the final 4, but tonight if frank is in danger of going home I might have to pull it out. My fear right now is the alliance between Lenny, Michele, and Worm. Now I know last round Worm was ready to flip on michele, but wince he voted for Franco it’s very possible Worm still wants to work with Michele. My target this round is Worm because if he’s here then I’m not sure where I stand with Lenny and Michele. I think what I’m gonna have to do here is get Rain on our side of the vote, and just hope that Rain isn’t in tight with that 3 or that Lenny and Michele don’t retaliate next round. 

lenny

we're in a stick sitch rn. I am hoping that the og nera crew can vote off frank tonight but if we do, that leaves dusty and I don't know if they'll trust me if I vote off their ally. That being said, idk who else to vote. I also don't know who to trust rn. I just want to make it to f3 so I can see what this thing Franco gave me is. Also, dusty may have an idol........ again? seriously?!

michele

i dont like dusty. hes trying to stir the pot and its coming off as villain trope. 

michele

dusty youre trying way too hard!!!!!!!!! you me lenny frank f4 isnt happening!!!!!! hes lucky he has an idol and is basically guaranteed final 4. I hope its me him lenny and worm!

michele

do you ever just tell someone youve been moving apartments for 3 days straight and youre exhausted and then they keep bombarding you with game questions and exaggerated info to stir the pot....thats dusty.

Worm

So I feel like I'm in a weird purgatory kind of place. I feel like I kind of got put into a goat position. I have both Michele and Rain coming to me and telling me that they want me in the final 3 with them. Now I'm honestly flattered but I feel like they want me there because they think they can beat me. I'm hoping though that because Eliza and Franco are both on the jury I have a good chance of them supporting me and maybe rallying for vote for me.I still think I have a chance of winning but I wont deny that other people still playing have much more obvious game that are easier to see from a jurors point of view. I'm kinda happy though that I was able to get into an alliance again of Michele, Lenny, and Rain especially after all the hecticness of last round. It seems as though that Michele and I have also been able to patch up everything even though I told her I was voting her out lol. But right now I do feel like she is my closest ally but I also think that I'm not the only one saying that. I honestly don't know who to trust in this game but hopefully if I survive this vote I can get some clarity of who is on my side. Michele did tell me that Dusty was stirring that pot with her and trying to get her to mistrust me but all of our dirty laundry is aired out so I'm hoping that it just fell on deaf ears. I do think that for the first time in this game (other than fucking rocks) that I might actually be eliminated.

Lenny

Time to play clean up with dusty. ALSO!!! Final five! I AM SHOOK. I would’ve never thought that I could make it this far or be in this position.

Michele

FINAL FIVE BITCHESSSSSS!!!!!

Michele

Someone from OG Nera is about to get the boot and I’m going to try my hardest to guarantee it’s not me

Michele

My main right now is Lenny but I know she also talks to Dusty. She proved loyalty last tribal council by voting for Frank with og nera. I just am not sure if moving forward with her is the end all be all best for my game. If I move ahead with rain and worm I can hopefully stop dusty from gaining any new allies and it will remain everyone against him. I know I say this every round sksksk but this tribal will be the hardest personally to date. Winning immunity is really the only way to keep me safe!

FINAL FOURRRRRR

Rain

It’s final 5. I am unhappy. I didn’t want to bring Michele to final 4. Suddenly, I’m hoping for a final 2, even if I know it’s not going to happen. I didn’t want to go to the final 4 with both dusty and Michele. They are winners. Especially compared to me. At this point, I know I’m going to lose the game. I’d rather see both Michele and Dusty in the final 3 and watch them duke it out than watch me and worm get smoked by either of them. Fuck Michele. I love you but I never ASKED to be in your final 3. I’m here because you think you can beat me. I will prove you wrong. 

Worm

I’m extremely worried tonight. The vote is basically between Lenny and I. Everyone is being kinda quiet and I’m trying to read into that literally every way I can. Are they just not talking to me cause I’m being targeted and they don’t want me to be bitter toward them. We’ve all discussed what made the most sense and I think Michele, Rain, and I all agree that keeping Lenny in the game cause everyone want to take them to the end. That makes the rest of us 4 fight for the other 2 spots. I’m hoping if I do survive tonight that my spot in the final 4 is basically guaranteed. The only thing that could foil that would be dusty cause he is such a wild card. I do think this being an alias game has given me a slight advantage in that with no one knowing who I am that they aren’t able to really see my track record. I have been to a lot of finals, and I have lost a lot of finals. But I am a big believer in that you learn from your losses and every time I have been close to winning there is always one thing that I have to adjust to get me there in a position to win. I also am hyper aware that you need to be aware of how you are maneuvering in the game and that you need to be able to talk logically why you did things that may seem questionable. I’m hoping that the other people here don’t have the same experience as I have and have difficulty portraying themselves in the final. If I do get voted out this round I may be team rain. I think they played a great under the radar game yet was also intricately involved In many of the big moves of the season. I still don’t really trust anyone in this game but I just have to hope that I was able to get them to see value in me like I’ve been trying to all season

Dusty

So here we are at the final 5. Michele is sitting pretty with immunity, and thankfully I’ve got my idol. Honestly I don’t feel safe going into next round. I think that just the super idol alone makes me a threat in the end. On top of that I have people in jury that were my allies in the game and have much more reason to be pissed at the other remaining players. I don’t know how much I can trust Lenny and Michele to take me the end. If I want to win I need to assure I can win the final challenge.

Michele

Voting Lenny out was heartbreaking. I’m glad she left me the legacy advantage because it shows that she didn’t take it personally. Us girls gotta stick together right? As long as Dusty doesn’t win this final immunity challenge I am super confident in making final three. If Dusty loses, I may have an actual shot at winning the whole game.

Michele

About to enter the jury chat with my legacy advantage and I'm really nervous. I think it's mostly because I've never seen the show and won't really know what to talk about. I want the most bang for my buck here. I know I'm going to see some not so happy faces but I'm hoping my friendly personality shines through. I genuinely don't dislike anybody, it's all just a game.

Michele

My conversation with the jury went pretty well once I figured out what I was doing. I think I have cranjes vote to win for sure. Franco and Eliza don't seem to want dusty in final 3, but that makes me think maybe I should bring him????? but i'm worried that he will have enough votes to beat me. keeping it OG Nera might help from him automatically getting plati votes. sksksksk this is going to come down to the wire for my decision. I really should stop worrying until the challenge results are posted thought.

Dusty

SHOOT i really needed that challenge win!!! I am so not confident in my standings with Michele, Worm, and Rain. I was so worried about this challenge because i basically know nothing real about these people!!! So even seeing that i could have been tied for the win was shocking, and the emotional trauma to come with not winning will be coming in shortly. Anyway at this point I feel like if i do have a shot at making it to the final 3 it is with Rain. At this point Michele has really given me no reason to be able to trust her when it comes to a vote and i cannot make that same mistake. Everyone loves Michele and shes a strong competitor in challenges, so if she makes it to the end shes winning for sure. Hopefully Rain and Worm will realize this and get rid of her now!!! 

Worm

Going into the immunity challenge i had a good feeling that I wasn't going to win it. Especially since the 2 heavy point questions were based around were people are from which is a topic I strayed away from while talking to a lot of the jurors. I did impress myself a lot though by getting a lot of the individual fact questions right. Sadly though I didn't win but on the bright side neither did Dusty. So it basically confirmed that the final 3 alliance of Michele Rain and myself will succeed in making it to the final 3. I was worried cause Rain did come to me earlier in the round and tell me that they may want to be voted out based on the fear of how the jury would react to us being in the final 3. Selfishly I would be okay with it just cause I would have someone on the jury that i feel like would 100% be on my side. But I'm still human and I didn't want them to do something they would regret and I'm very happy that they decided to stay. Dusty is trying very hard now to stay which I do admire his tenacity of wanting to stay but he honestly got outplayed. One ting that confuses me that he keeps saying that Michele is a huge threat in front of the jury. That confuses me because he has targeted me the last couple rounds. Like literally every tribal I have received votes, one of them was from Dusty. He knew I wanted to target Michele during the round that Franco left so I don't see why he didn't take that chance to target her then. He also told me he voted me cause he saw me as a threat but I guess that perception has disappeared. I understand that he is grasping at straws so I don't knock him fro trying everything he can but even if I do flip and give a fire making challenge, that is just gonna boost someone's resume that isn't my own. Either Dusty is gonna win and get credit for flipping me to his side and betting Michele, or Michele stays and gets another challenge win. Either way it's a lose-lose so my best option is just to stay on track and get the original Nera to the final 3.

Michele

And here we are folks. Rain, Worm, and I successfully lasted 2 full rounds as a 3 person alliance. Excited to talk to the jury again and really explain my game. I debated telling the other two about my advantage but I think I’ll keep it to myself for now. No matter what happens I’m very proud of myself for reaching the final vote.....but I really want the win!

Dusty

All last night and today I was talking to Worm, Michele, and Rain to try and campaign to them to try and keep me for the final tribal council. Although all three of them straight up said they were voting for me. Which is really no surprise. Trying to make em go a lil crazy but there’s not a whole lot of point in trying.

[matthew-eleventhirty]

so i spoke to jill and this is the first time she didnt completely bitch on me, like i told her about the blog and what i kinda wrote and how its gotten so repetitive but helps me deal with the fact i cant text you all this stuff. she asked if i would ever show you and i said no unless you didnt believe me when i say i still love you or if say we were to get back together and we were like hanging out and you needed some reassurance that i still love you so much and that you are more than enough for me. i told her that these are all raw feelings and some things i would be hesitant to let you read but i feel that i shouldnt hold back my experience especially since this is how i always felt. i told her that i mentioned i never felt 100% comfortable around your family and she said okay maybe then dont show him. i told her that its not something youve never known and how ive always been so honest with you. like when your mom was talking about politics and i kinda tensed up and you took over the convo or when i went to vanessas house and when i was in a convo you would jump in. at first i hated it it drove me crazy because i was trying to get to know them but after you told me its because you knew that was a hard thing for me to do. and she said that was absolutely adorable of you. she also said that she misses you a lot. she misses sitting on the couch while we watch “stupid” shows and you explaining every little detail. it was cute. i wasnt the only person who loves and misses you, my family loves and misses you too. she just didnt want to tell me earlier because she didnt know how i would react. she also said somehting to me that made me feel a lot better about this whole thing. if im being honest, ive gotten really crazy, like whenever i go on insta i always check to see if youre on too. its weird but comforting its the only thing i have of you actively still. im so sorry if i do end up showing you this and you think im crazy but maybe i am? but anyway i stayed up all night the day before my chem final studying and i noticed you werent on for a while so i figured you went to sleep. i never ever post stories to my finsta and i did this night so i wanna say a notification went out mentioning that i posted a story. you were the second person to see it so i guess once you saw the notification you checked. it made me feel better about this, like maybe you were checking to see if i was out or how i was doing or something, but it felt like okay he still cares. when i told jill that she agreed with me on how you still cared and that it was good. i just wish i knew how you felt. i dont want to be the fool who was waiting this whole time to find out you actually didnt care. but jill also brought up a good point that i havent thought of in a while. when i was freaking out and going through our texts over and over and over again, the words you chose whether you thought about them or not did show a little of your intentions. it was just the actions that threw me. but words like “separated” and “if you want to end it all completely” and how you really need this for you. i just read over our messages, im sorry i was so mean and selfish, i just going through the motions ya know? every day felt like forever and i do still wake up every morning hoping for a call from you. i just never knew how i could get through another day without talking to you. i think the only reason i havent called yet was because this is keeping me from it. jill said that you probably do wanna call me or text me, but youre nervous to because we agreed at the end of the semester. youre probably sitting there hoping id call you too in the back of your head and maybe were both sitting here like uuhh end of the semester. the way she talked to me tonight it feels like right after your last final youll call.. it would be really cool if you did. i mean then we could figure everything out. it seems like a much bigger possibility that you would need more time, but i just want to hear your voice again. i wanna see you i wanna give you a hug and pull any sadness or worry out of you. i wanna be on talking terms with you because i definitely do not like this. i cant see you jumping for the phone once you get out, but i could see you thinking about it. reading over our messages i hate myself. i was so mean to you i was so selfish i wasnt as understanding as i was right away compared to a few days later. i wanted to but i just felt this huge weight on my heart and i felt it breaking and i had no idea what to do. i hope you havent moved on. i hope im still yours in your head. maybe at first glance i have been showing you that i moved on, but look a lil deeper. i havent, in fact i think i miss you more now than ever before. its been a month and i still think about you every day and still wanna love you and get married and have babies. if that was too quick for you im sorry, i just never saw a future with someone more than you. i was really really selfish. i mean i kept thinking about the work ive done and discrediting all the things that you have done for yourself. it takes courage to let someone you love go for the sake of yourself. it doesnt sound courageous it sounds obvious to do but it is not an easy task. i mean that aside everything else youve done. im looking at it as okay this is what you have this is what you have to do, but its probably much easier to say to do it than to actually have it and get it done. i probably shouldve recognized that more. i mean i see it first hand every day. but i cannot stress how proud i was and how proud i still am of you trying therapy trying to get a schedule trying to do the thing that you have to do for yourself all while working to keep me happy. thank you for that. it took me a little bit longer to see and its not something thats easy for me to stay completely calm with because of the type of relationship we have, but please know that i do want to. i didnt want to put the blame on you above having to work with you for this for so long for you to dump me. i should have never added that burden onto you. i never would take back those six months, i never would ever want you to think i just did that because we were in a relationship, i want you to know that i did try working with you because i wanted to. it was brave of you to tell me all these things. youre very prideful and i can only imagine what it took for you to even bring this stuff up with me. i should have been much more level-headed and understanding. i wish i could have made you happier, i wish i couldve been a stronger girlfriend for you, i wish you didnt have to go through all of that alone for so long. im happy you told me though, im happy you were mature enough to do something so risky for the sake of you and us. it shows me who you are as a person. (just next time can we try to work together, im just thinking hypotheticals but if we were married or had a family and needed time to step back... i dont know how that would play out.) for that tho im praying you learned a new way to calm yourself down when things got overwhelming or maybe a new hobby so if you started to feel sad or needed time away from life you werent just sitting in bed becuase although that might feel great it does more damage than anything else. im praying you learned more about what causes this, whether its a big paper coming up, or a grade thats expected, or maybe you slipped in one class and now youre slipping in another that makes you not want to do any work. something so that when it does happen you can be like no i know this pattern lets try to subside it. thats ultimately what i want you to be able to do and maybe this break was what you needed the most. i should've known better tho, i shouldve known that you werent yourself and things were off and it wasnt something wrong with me but something wrong with you. i mean the signs were there. not jillian or carols signs but they were there. i cant wait to hear about everything that youve done! im so excited to hear form you again. i hope its sooner rather than later, but either way id be happy. i love you so much and ill always love you with all of my heart, never think that i wont please.