#eugh gross bacon

[mars-ipan]

i’m curious to know if i have an unpopular opinion

[pistachiotalenti]

walking on eggshells: dnf + sapnap

Sapnap hesitates slightly at the base of the stairs, taken aback by the scene past the living room. Seemingly breathless, George and Dream decide not to greet him and instead turn into opposite ends of the kitchen. Dream sets two frying pans on the stove, though he scrambles to find any of the other items he needs to cook. George defects to the snack foods strewn across the island, though by his wandering eyes, it's clear that eating is the last thing on his mind.

Sapnap shuffles into the kitchen, the two bodies wordlessly parting around him like the Red Sea. He listens to the quiet open and close of drawers, to the rustling of plastic behind him. And after a long moment, he snickers and says into the open fridge, "You guys are gross."

He briefly turns around. George peers over his shoulder though notably fails to look Sapnap in the eye. Hands raised in the air, he combats, "What did I do?"

Sapnap mocks him. "What did I do?" He grabs the milk gallon and shuts the fridge door behind him. "You guys know the house rule," he reminds, sighing lightly. It makes Dream look up from the stove, and it turns George's cheeks just a slightly pinker pink.

"We– we weren't breaking the house rule," George says unconvincingly.

"Not yet," Sapnap snorts.

"We weren't," George and Dream say in near unison.

Sapnap grabs a bowl and the cereal box from the cabinets. "Sure."

"We actually weren't," Dream emphasizes, a little too strongly. Sapnap doesn't respond. In his mind, it's all just fodder for proving him right.

Not actually wanting to argue with his best friends about this, Sapnap quietly makes his bowl of cereal then turns to lean against the counter. He watches his best friends ease back into the bustle of the morning—Dream laying strips of bacon into the pan with George standing nearby on his phone, not necessarily planning to contribute to the cooking effort but clearly still wanting to exist in the shared space.

"How many eggs?" Dream asks nobody in particular as he turns away from the stove. George chimes in with a "two", and when Dream looks out from the fridge for another answer, Sapnap shakes his head, spoon hanging from his mouth. Dream starts to pluck eggs from the fridge.

George slowly lowers his phone to his side as he hovers over Dream. A beat passes before he suddenly abandons his phone on the counter and wedges himself alongside Dream. "Here, give me some," he suddenly urges, hands out.

Dream's laugh is soft and distant into the fridge. "It's fine. I can hold them all."

"Let me carry some," George repeats, sticking his arms farther into the fridge—and into Dream's personal space.

"It's fine. George–" There's a small struggle that Sapnap can't see, but Dream steps away beaming victorious, five eggs easily sitting in his hands.

Meanwhile, George pouts and follows him to the stove. "Dreeeeaaaam," he whines. "I just wanted to help." He drops his head against Dream's back; the sight makes the corner of Sapnap's mouth upturn.

"You can help by grabbing plates for us," Dream suggests. 

"...No." 

Dream and Sapnap snicker. "Or," Dream adds, "you can help by throwing away these eggshells for me." Dream turns around with a cracked shell between his fingers, goopy with the remnants of egg whites.

George leans away, pulling his hands to his sides. "Eugh, no!"

"C'mon, you said you wanted to help!" Dream laughs, stepping closer with an outstretched hand.

"Not with that! That's disgusting."

Dream giggles. "What do you mean 'disgusting'? It's literally an egg."

"You're literally an egg." George leaps back, giggling just as hard. "Dream!"

The eggshell falls to the ground, splattering the floor with goop. The two throw each other a hard look. Sapnap lets out a blip of a laugh.

Dream glares fake-angry at George as he goes to clean up the mess. Smiling quietly, Sapnap steps aside to grant Dream access to the paper towel roll. Dream rips off a sheet and steps back to the scene of the crime, only for George to take the paper towel from his hands and squat down to the floor.

"See, I'm helping," George lightheartedly points out, wiping up the mess.

Dream watches him for a second before turning away with a small grin. "Uh-huh."

In the time it takes for Sapnap to slurp up the milk in his bowl, George tosses the eggshell in the trash and gets the idea to grab another paper towel. He rushes to Dream's side the moment he sees him crack a second egg into the pan.

"You can put the shells here," George offers. He props up the paper towel in his hands like it's an altar.

Dream turns, surprised, before plopping the shell on the paper towel. "Good idea," he quips, grinning.

"Thank you. I'm full of those." They share another brief look, but this time it's infinitely bright and warm.

Dream continues to crack eggs until five yolks dance and sizzle on the pan. George steps away to toss the shells, and when he returns to Dream's side, Dream turns to smile at him, eyes briefly wandering down George's face. George smiles back, his eyes squinting like he's staring into the sun. They turn away in a mutual, quietly demure laugh.

Eventually, all the food gets dished up. George and Dream start to chow down at the table. After setting his bowl in the sink, Sapnap joins them, snatching a strip of bacon to munch on.

It's a nice, comfy breakfast for a good start to the day. Sapnap likes their mornings like this, all the freaky shit aside. He expresses it the first way that comes to mind.

"You guys should kiss in front of me."

A heavy exhale explodes past Dream's lips. George ducks his head, choking on his glass of orange juice. "What," they both sputter, staring at Sapnap with wild looks in their eyes.

"Okay, not like that," Sapnap laughs nervously. "I just mean, like… it's so much nicer being around you guys when you're not always trying to sneak around and hide all your gross, lovey, PDA-type shit."

"We don't… hide anything," Dream denies, stumbling over his words like he's still gauging their truth.

Sapnap sees right through them. "Not if you can help it."

Dream and George share a look. Sapnap raises his hands in a shrug.

"Listen, you can do whatever you want, and the house rule still stands. Obviously. But, like…" The pitch of Sapnap's voice rises higher. "You guys are my best friends. I want you to know that you don't have to hide anything from me. You're bad at hiding it anyway, but– actually. I'm happy you guys are together. I'm glad you both trusted me enough to let me know about it, and I love you."

Dream's face morphs into a touched pout. George looks like he's on the verge of tears. Sapnap offers them an assuring smile.

"Aw, Nick." Dream clicks his tongue and gets up from his seat to pull Sapnap into a hug. "I love you, too. That means a lot. Thank you."

Sapnap returns the hug, and when a third arm snakes across his back, he briefly leans away so that George can join them, all three members of their little team embracing and laughing and sniffling together.

After a long moment, they break apart from the group hug, but Dream holds onto George's hand. George smiles and giggles shyly at him, not daring to pull away.

Sapnap smiles at them with all the warmth in the universe. Then he walks away with a roll of his eyes. "God, you guys are gonna be so annoying," he groans.

George's voice is still shaky with emotion when he counters, "You literally just said you're fine with us being gross in front of you!"

"Yeah, I am, and I have been for like the past three years," Sapnap snorts. "Doesn't mean I can't complain about it."

Dream guffaws, then looks to George. "He's got a point."

George twists his face into a half-smile, half-pout, signifying his reluctant compliance. Dream laughs and pulls him out of it with a tug of his hand.

"Come on. Breakfast's gonna get cold."

George follows, though not without a final quip. "That would be Sapnap's fault."

Sapnap steals a final bacon strip before strolling away, saying, "Eat your eggs, loverboy."

He smiles at the sound of Dream chuckling behind him.

[afrival]

what are the scouts' and warriors' least favorite meals / what will they refuse to eat under any circumstance 💋

fucking BLESS 😩🙌💕 this took a lot of brainpower

no warnings except maybe mention of vomit

•=======================•

Eren:

- steamed vegetables 😐 regular raw shit is perfectly fine or even fried he just cannot stand steamed veggies

Mikasa:

- turkey??? literally thinks it’s the worst fucking type of meat

Armin:

- LMAO SEAFOOD HE FEELS SO GUILTY even tho he actually really likes sushi. he hates red lobster bc of the goddamn lobster tank they keep up front it makes him feel worse

Jean:

- DESPISES sour cream do not fucking dare put it anywhere near this man he will vomit

Connie:

- eggs 💀 especially scrambled

Sasha:

- almond milk is so disgusting to her bye but food wise she is NOT picky at all

Ymir:

- okay maybe this is dumb but like literally hates all breakfast foods. Pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausage, etc

Historia:

- man I lowkey see her being a vegan so probably just meat in general (she would be 100% chill abt it tho)

Levi:

- PIZZA BC ITS SO FUCKING GREASY. He hates messy foods in general like you will NOT catch this bitch boy anywhere near a bbq place

Hange:

- bananas are the worst fruit to ever exist. banana flavored anything. pudding, bread, muffin— get that shit away from her rn

Erwin:

- lasagna ✌️

Reiner:

- mashed potatoes again w the goddamn texture thing like he just hates it

Berthtoldt:

- nature valley granola bars which sucks bc reiner absolutely loves them and just wants to share

Annie:

- HATES PEANUT BUTTER it’s sticky and gross and eugh she just would rather eat a jelly sandwich

Porco:

- soft tacos the texture is absolutely horrendous for him. actually just don’t take this mf to taco bell he hates it

Pieck:

- eggplant parmesan ☝️ actually just hates anything with eggplant

Zeke:

- any kind of fajita ever but especially chicken, also not a fan of quesadillas bc it reminds him of public school 💔

Apologies for this being short and not specific I just— these are funny idc

[ixhadbadxdays]

Stay a While-Ch 4; Entertainment

AO3

When Alex woke in the morning, the light was shining through a crack between the curtains, cause a stripe of light to fall over, you guessed it, his face. If he could turn off the sun, that would make his morning. Sadly, it didn't go away, and Alex had to face the music.

He crawled out of bed and rubbed at his face, trying to get rid of the sleep seeds in his eyes and wake himself up a little. Throwing on a hoodie and slipping his glasses on, Alex padded out of the room. His stomach rumbled, and he was left wondering if he was allowed to make his own breakfast or if he needed to wait for Jefferson to get up. His question was answered when he made it to the kitchen and found Thomas already making breakfast. Omelets, it looked like.

"Is there enough for me?"

It startled Jefferson, and a bit of egg flipped out of the pan with his spatula. "Uh, I, yes. Yes, I'm making enough for two. What do you like in yours?"

"Anything but ham. I hate the texture or pork."

"Weirdo. What about bacon?"

"Turkey bacon." Alex hopped onto the counter by the stove to watch Jefferson cook.

"Eugh, heathen. Natural selection will weed out the non-pork bacon eaters." Jefferson smirked slightly and flipped the folded eggs over. "Things would be so much more peaceful."

"I'm not leaving this country in your incapable hands, Jefferson," he shot back. Alex made his way to the coffee pot and started making enough for four cups, not knowing how much Jefferson drank. Alex, for his part, lived on the stuff.

They took their seats and ate silently, focusing on trying to wake up. The food was good, and Alex was pleased. He usually stuck to just a bowl of oatmeal and honey with a banana for breakfast, if he ate breakfast at all; this was a nice change of pace. Not that he would tell Jefferson that; Alex wouldn't give the man the satisfaction of knowing that Alex actually liked something he did. Besides, Alex was still a little sore from the night before and really didn't want to please Jefferson in any way.

Yes, he was still hurt and embarrassed, but Alex wouldn't allow himself to show that Jefferson had done any damage.

"Soooo what are we doing with our time today? Honestly, I don't want to go to jail for murdering you, even if it'd be worth it, but uh, yeah." Alex set his fork down.

"I was going to go over what Washington sent over one more time and then relax with a book or something. So long as you don't touch or break anything, I don't care what you do. Oh, and don't go into my room."

Alex stood and followed Thomas into the kitchen. He wrinkled his nose. "Why in the hell would I want to go into your lair? There's probably bones from past victims or something. You look like the serial killer type."

"Gee. Thanks." Jefferson deadpanned and snatched Alex's plate and fork, setting them in the sink to wash. "You can dry."

"Why?"

"Because you are currently under my roof and you will help clean up after yourself. I don't allow slobs in my home." Jefferson poked Alex in the chest roughly to punctuate his point.

"I'm not a slob. I do my dishes at night, is all." He'd wait until the end of the day and do everything at once. And by that he means, he throws it into the dishwasher and goes to bed or makes for his laptop again to keep working.

"So you leave your dishes to sit around all day, stinking up your home? Eugh." Jefferson passed Alex the dishes after he rinsed them.

Alex grumbled quietly about snooty, neat-freak Republicans, and while he knew Jefferson could hear him, he didn't care and continued. He noted the smile tugging at the side of Jefferson's lips whenever Alex mumbled a swear or not so subtle insult, and it was ALMOST enough of an incentive for him to continue; he wasn't supposed to make Jefferson happy today, however, and so he fell silence and finished drying the dishes Jefferson passed him.

"So, do you watch House of Cards?" Jefferson asked.

"Nope."

"Do you watch Elementary?"

"No."

"How about American Pickers?"

"Uh-uh."

"Okay, what about soap operas?"

"Gross, no."

"What the hell do you watch?"

"I like the WWII specials on the History Channel, or I'll watch documentaries on Netflix and Amazon."

"Nerd."

Alex elbowed Jefferson, "Excuse you. I am not a nerd."

"You watch documentaries voluntarily, for fun. You're a nerd pipsqueak." He shot Alex a smirk and brushed passed him to put away the plates they'd used. "Just accept it."

Alex huffed and didn't reply, dropping the argument in favor of looking out the window at the snow that had built up overnight. It was supposed to get worse today, or tonight maybe? It didn't look so bad to him.

Too bad John wasn't here. Despite being grown men, they'd go out and play around in the snow like overgrown kids; and it'd last a little while after Alex's coughing fits started up. When he could get away with it, Alex would take a puff of his inhaler and tough it out a little while longer for the sake of their fun. Afterward, he'd hide away under twenty blankets with hot tea and a space heater to make up for the cold he'd subjected his body to.

Now, he hated the cold. He HATED it. But that didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun in the snow now and then.

A tap on his shoulder pulled him from his thoughts, and Alex startled, whipping his head around to find Jefferson staring at him. "You spaced out there a bit. Uh, the sun is still shining a bit, and you'll blind yourself if you keep staring at it."

"No, I won't." Petulant, stubborn, or however you wanted to describe his response. To escape an argument about how childish he was, Alex mumbled that he was going to shower and he'd be back whenever.

He had half a mind of using all of the hot water, just to piss Jefferson off, unless the man had already showered today. The warmth was nice, and Alex melted under the spray that beat against his back and the back of his neck. If he dosed a second or two, no one needed to know. He scrubbed up with what little there was in there, and after dressing again trudged back down the stairs and to the living room, where he found Jefferson watching the weather.

"How bad?" he asked, still rubbing the towel over his hair.

Jefferson hardly looked up, "It's already knocking down branches and telephone poles west of here. The storm will hit us in an hour or two." He pushed himself up to his feet. "You're going to help me gather wood from outside, flashlights, blankets, and turn on any faucets--just in case we've shut any off, and so on. We need to be ready for this thing because it's going to be a doozy."

"Do you have a hair dryer or something to finish drying my hair off? I don't want to go outside if my head is still damp."

Jefferson motioned for Alex to follow him. He opened a hall closet and tugged out their coats and scarves, with an extra scarf and hat for Alex to use while they were outside. "It'll only take a minute or two to grab the stuff. You won't freeze to death. Promise."

They dressed themselves, and Alex tossed on his shoes--which were not meant for trekking in the snow. He followed Jefferson outside to a wood pile about fifty or so feet away from the house. Jefferson piled a stack in Alex's arms, and Alex turned to carry it back to the house. Jefferson followed a moment later. They each made two more trips to make sure they wouldn't have to come back out here for anymore.

"Okay, upstairs there's a closet between my room and a guest room. I store the blankets in there. Grab them and set them in the living room and I'll collect the flashlights and batteries and things. I've got a gas-fueled space heater in the garage, but I'd rather not use it if we can help it." He turned away and headed for the kitchen.

After a moment, Alex shrugged off his layers and put them away before he ran the errand that Jefferson was sending him on. Rather than carrying a huge stack down the stairs and risk breaking his neck, Alex just tossed them to the bottom of the staircase before he made one more trip to grab the next stack. Jefferson happened to walk by as Alex was throwing his second and last stack to the bottom floor.

He stopped dead in his tracks, a small flashlight resting between his teeth. "Hamlfton? Bwat are you doin'?" he asked behind the small device.

"I didn't want to fall while carrying these downstairs and so I threw them to the bottom to collect when I got down there." Jefferson rolled his eyes and went on to the living room with his armload of stuff. "Yes, thank you for taking blankets with you," Alex muttered. He collected a handful of them and followed after Jefferson, stacking them in the arm chair as he collected them.

"Mmmkay, what next?"

Jefferson shrugged, "Entertain yourself."

Yes, because that helped Alex figure out what to do with his time for the day.

[little-forget-me-not]

When NoDay got together and Theo was peeved about it, he would occasionally say racist/offensive gross stuff like "Eugh don't tell me you've tasted some of that canadian bacon lol does he squirt maple syrup"

Nolan would be so........................like he's so offended and squicked out

I think he just punches Theo because he's so hdakjsd he doesn't even know what to say. It’s so offensive and gross.

[boobear-harold]

Get To Know Me

(I don’t really get asks so I’m gonna do it anyway) 

1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers? Computer - slideshow of friends&family. Phone - Louis

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Not a full on crush but I’ve had a few hot teachers.

3) What was your last text message? Idk i think it was to my brother.

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? Doing what I love.

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? London.

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume? I’ve only dressed up once. I think I was a vampire.

7) What was your favorite 90s show? Friends? Or kids shows?

8) Who was your last kiss? Eugh, dont remind me.

9) Have you ever been stood up? No.

10) Favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla

11) Have you been to Las Vegas? I’ve never been out of the country. Nor do I have any desire to go to Vegas...

12) Your favorite pair of shoes? ...How the hell do I even choose? I have a lot of black boots/booties.

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other? No.

14) What is your favorite fruit? Mango, pineapple or strawberry

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible? No.

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships? Long term.

17) Do you smoke? If so, what? No, I like my lungs....

18) What do you do to get over your anger? Read my fave books, write in my journal if its something I can’t say aloud, or boxing.

19) Do you believe in God? Agnostic.

20) Does the person you're in love with know it? I’m not in love with anyone.

21) Favorite position?

22) What's your horoscope sign? Capricorn

23) Your fears?

24) How many pets do you have? What kind? 1. A welsh pony :)

25) What never fails to turn you on?

26) Your idea of a perfect first date?

27) What is something most people don't know about you?

28) What makes you feel the happiest? Fashion design, reading or my mum.

29) What store do you shop at most often? Ah, various?

30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving?

31) Do you believe in karma? Karma’s a bitch.

32) Are you single? Yep.

33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? ...or saying “I’m sorry”?. That’s a pretty good one too...

34) Are you a good swimmer? I love it, but I’m not about to be an Olympian or anything

35) Coffee or Tea? Tea. Coffee is nasty af

36) Online shopping or shopping in person? Both

37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age? Undecided

38) Cats or Dogs? Both. Maybe a bit more of a dog person.

39) Are you a competitive person? Depends; most of the time.

40) Do you believe in aliens? I believe in Harru Styles

41) Do you like dancing? Used to

42) What kind of music to you listen to? Easier to say I dont listen to heavy metal, electro(the stuff that sounds like a power box exploding), most rap or country(maybe one or two artists).

43) What is your favorite cartoon character? Kim Possible

44) Where are you from? Australia

45) Eat at home or eat out? Either.

46) How much more social are you when you're drunk? I pretty much never drink.

47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself? A succulent and a crystal to hang in my window. I think.

48) Why do you think your followers follow you? Bc they love the dreamteam as much as I do.

49) How many hours do you sleep at night? Not enough. Probably plenty but, not enough.

50) What worries you most about the future? That I won’t do what I want to do.

51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?

52) Are you happy with yourself?

53) What do you wish you didn't know? How creepy my sisters boyfriend comes across

54) What big lesson could people learn from your life? Just do it.

55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? The Salvatore house, Downton Abbey or idk

56) What's your favorite Website? tumbler dot com

57) What's the habit you're proudest of breaking? It’s kinda gross so no.

58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? 

59) What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or thrift store? A really nice wool coat for $5

60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food? I don’t really like chinese, I only eat honey soy chicken, and sweet and sour pork.

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? I don’t think I even know all the states... Indiana?

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be? Textiles

63) Favorite kind of chips? Salt and vinegar or light and tangy.

64) Favorite kind of sandwich? idk

65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? probably thesaurus

66) Have you ever been stung by a bee? no, but I have been stung by a bull ant.

67) What's your favorite form of exercise? swimming. (occasionally walking)

68) Are you afraid of heights? No. Yes if I’m close to the edge or on glass

69) What's the most memorable class you've ever taken?

70) What's your favorite breakfast? Bacon and eggs with garlic & olive oil sourdough toasted.

71) Do you like guacamole? No

72) Have you ever been in a physical fight? No.

73) What/who are you thinking about right now? Thinking about finishing my next Louis drawing.

74) Do you like cuddling? YES

75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Literally or metaphorically

76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears? I’m not entirely sure what they are so no.

77) Favorite city you've been to? Melbourne

78) Would you break the law to save a family member? Absolutely.

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment? No

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in? Sure

81) What's the worst injury you've ever had? Broke my wrist when I was like 11. Actually no, I fell backward off a balcony head-first onto a the edge of a concrete slab when I was like 3(or less?)

82) Favorite day of the week? Saturday

83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?

84) How do you feel about porn? Sure, if you want to watch it. As long as it’s not cheap or degrading.

85) Which living celebrity would you like to know? Louis Tomlinson so I can wrap him in blankets and give him tea. Or Maggie Smith, she’s a legend.

86) Who was your hottest ex? In my dreams or...

87) Do you want/have kids? Want? Kinda. Want to have? Nope.

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? No

89) Do you get easily distracted? Someti

90) Ass or titties? 

91) What is your favorite word? 

92) How do you feel about tattoos? If you want them, bloody go for it. On me, maybe a small one? Except all the ones I like would be in super painful places.

93) Do you have any pets? One

94) How tall are you? About 5′5″ - 5′6″ i think

95) How old are you? 21

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot? Hair, smile and boobs (@the last one, *insert totally-done expression*)

97) Is there anything you're really passionate about? Fashion Design, reading, drawing, travel and puppies

98) Do you have trust issues? Definitely

99) Do you believe in love at first sight? I’ll let you know

100) What are some words that you live by? Why? If you want to do it, go for it.

[abi-brand-blog]

Applewood smoked bacon.

Go away Wade.