#even stuff that isnt a big deal (which it wasnt at first) can effect someone greatly

[skunkes]

i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc

[shsldepressedlesbian]

Few questions to help both us n you get to know the passengers on this cruise to hell better! 1,upon first glance what something someone would immediately notice abt your ocs appearance? 2,does your ocs Like their talent? This says a lot about them as people and feel free to go into detail why or why not they do. 3,do any of the cast have any character quirks? Be it in speech or otherwise

hey this looks fun :0

1:

Yuuki: i think its safe to say the many assortments of flowers she wears in her hair. while she isnt a gardener or anything, one of her siblings is, and they often send flowers to her. yuuki, in turn, usually mends them all into a flower crown, or even plain just puts a single flower into her hair.

Emica: when it comes to it, i suppose her traditional japanese arm band, symbolising her stance on the student council. her many different necklaces is a close competitor.

Arata: he dresses like he just walked out of a time loop from england 1930s. i think thats pretty noticeable-

Mitsuo: the unhealthily dark bags under his eyes, and the very pale skin which does not go well with his very bright, red hair.

Asuka: her very rich, haughty aura. and even though anyone would hate to admit it, shes borderline very attractive.

Manabu: he looks like he came from a very formal ball, not to mention it would be hard to miss the variety of shiny crystals he wears as bracelets.

Seiichi: at first glance, people might say he looks like he just had a ruffle with someone- but if you pay attention, he actually really is neat and tidy- aside from his tie.

Tamotsu: at first glance, people would probably compare him to indiana jones when it comes to his outfit choice. he doesnt deny these comparsions.

Kamiko: her sunhat, for sure. theyre usually wide brimmed, though fashionable. the second thing is probably the many ‘luck charms’ she wears as accesories.

Kenta: how he looks much stronger than he actually is. also his sneakers. everyone notices the sneakers. even if you arent a fan of footwear, you WILL notice his sneakers.

Chieko: chieko is very… ordinary looking. in fact, her normalness compared to any other ultimate is probably the first thing youll ever notice. it actually makes her stand out.

Masa: the first youll notice about masa is her sheer size of accesories. bracelets, rings, hair pins, and necklaces galore. if you pay enough attention, youll actually notice she and tamotsu have matching necklaces.

Fumiko: a notable thing about fumikos appearance is how… scandalous her outfit is. fumiko isnt shameful at all about how much skin shes exposing; though it never gets too crazy. usually. hopefully.

Kohaku: there is nothing really abnormal about kohaku, other then their very bright mint color scheme. the reading glasses hanging from a small chain on the front of their suit is also something noteworthy.

Aika: the first thing youll notice about aika is the fact that her coat is almost completely made out of buttons- each one she sewed onto it herself. for someone who youd expect look to have come out of the 1990s, she has a reasonable modern feel to her clothes.

Satoru: at first glance, you could see satoru as, to be frank, a vsco boy. his casual outfit, sunglasses, and jacket with many pins relating to saving the ocean can give off that feel. however, he resents the stereotypes of ‘vsco’. also, its hard to tell if his murky hair is either white or grey.

Usagi: the first thing youll notice about usagi is the fact she always looks like shes prepared for a hike. her backpack, casual but warm outfit wear, and always pulled up hair can give that impression.

2:

Yuuki: yuuki has a soft spot for her talent, considering how it dates back to her grandmother, and its always been something shes been experienced with. its fair to say yuuki likes her talent.

Emica: emica really doesnt consider herself worthy of her talent. the only reason she got it, afterall, is because of her dad, not to mention this fact has caused her a fair amount of nasty envy with her fellow classmates. still, she tries to honor her responsibility of being student council president. emica doesnt particularly like her talent.

Arata: if theres one thing arata is proud of, its his talent. hes been into history since he was a small child- and to have his research celebrated is his dream come true. he can, however, be a little cocky about it. he really does consider himself the best historian in history. arata likes, and is very proud of, his talent.

Mitsuo: he wont even tell anyone what his talent is. i wonder why…

Asuka: whether or not asuka enjoys her talent is left to debate. it is, however, for sure something she uses to her advantage. shes part of the main student council! of course everyone has to respect her, right? she also considers being the treasurer ‘finally’ a way to use her social skills and knowledge with mathematics to use. asuka likes her talent.

Manabu: manabu was always expected to be helpful in the study of outer space. his whole family line consisted of astronomers, astronauts, astrophysicists, and more. manabu had to choose his career at a young age, and he decided on astrogeology. this didnt mean manabu was stuck in the career. or, at least, he was, until an opportunity arrived. yet even when he got it, he decided not to take it. manabu always had a soft spot for astrogeology, though perhaps if he didnt have his current family line, he would have become the ultimate of a different talent. manabu likes his talent, though that may only be because of his history.

Seiichi: seiichis history of slam poetry goes all the way back to elementary. its his form of venting, if you will, as even though he comes across as nervous, his head is filled with anger at the world. but also hope, of making a new one. a better one. he considers being invited to attend sailing integrity was just a plus to his journey. seiichi likes his talent.

Tamotsu: tamotsu has been interested in tombs and the history of egypt for a long time. the closest thing he could find to fulfilling his interests was becoming a tour guide to show people around said tombs, and he found himself having fun, rehearsing facts and making the otherwise gloomy places bright. making tourists days a little more fun was good enough for him. tamotsu quite likes his talent.

Kamiko: kamikos talent was always something that she did as a fun hobby. sewing tapestries that told fascinating tales was always something she was invested in. and the many tales she sewed was really the only things that kept her company while she kept herself locked in her room. however, even if she likes her talent, she was not a fan of being recognized for it, and being coaxed by her parents to attend the academy. kamiko likes her talent, but isnt a fan of being the ‘ultimate’ of it.

Kenta: if we were being real here, kenta is very… neutral on his talent, which is weird for him. the way he learnt it is connected with bad memories, but doing it has always been refreshing to him. a way to run around, blow off steam. he supposes being called deemed the ‘ultimate’ of it isnt that bad. kenta likes his talent, for the majority.

Chieko: being the ultimate chemist wasnt chiekos first choice, but she takes it with dignity. chieko is neutral on her talent.

Masa: masas talent was born out of curiosity, and it grew from it. masas history of interpreting dreams is affiliated with many different emotions and memories. but for the most part, its been positive. she is very into the persona of it, and considers it a chance for her to act all mythical and wise. but, shes just really happy that she got to be a ultimate along with tamotsu. masa likes her talent, especially the attention she gets from it.

Fumiko: fumiko, probably, resents her talent the most out of the cast. its a very constant, confusing, love-hate relationship. she dislikes the title of ultimate lucky student, as she finds it cheesy, which is the whole reason why she calls herself a blackjack player. after talking to her for a bit, it becomes clear she doesnt want her talent to define her, and that she honestly couldnt care less about ultimates and the academies. her whole reason for applying to the lottery seems to stem from family reasons. while she dislikes the academy, she also takes any chance she can to pump her ego around her talent. its confusing, honestly. fumiko is not a fan of her talent.

Kohaku: kohakus murder mystery career started out as a coping method. however, they get very attached to every story and characters they make, putting love into every book, which is the whole reason they got recognized as the ultimate murder mystery novelist. kohaku has pride in becoming the ultimate murder mystery novelist, though they dont consider it a big deal. whether or not they became an ultimate wouldnt have any effect on the future of their career. theyll always write murder mysteries. kohaku likes their talent.

Aika: aika considers her becoming an ultimate a complete ‘accident’. aika isnt especially invested in vintage collecting- she just had a lot of old stuff she posted online, not even realising how old and valuable they really were, and the next thing she knew, the email and letter came. actually, the invitation to sailing integrity is what really made her consider making collecting old items a hobby. secretly, aika is a little insecure of her talent, finding it boring compared to others talents. aika likes her talent, but only to a certain point.

Satoru: satorus want to study the oceans animals has been active for a long time, especially since he was always close to water, considering his parents were fishermen. he finds the thought of the ocean being 95% explored to be highly interesting, and his goal is to crack down another 5% before he dies. becoming the ultimate of what he loved to do was very much a welcomed moment, especially with the promise that the academy would supply him with items that would help reinforce his talent. satoru has always been especially passionate about marine biology. satoru likes his talent.

Usagi: usagi is also very neutral when considering her talent. in fact, her talent is always at the back of her mind when introducing herself. usagi, truthfully, isnt a fan of most of the school referring to her as the ‘ultimate runaway’, considering how many of them paint it as a form of rebelling and thus delinquency. shes just a girl who likes taking sharing nature with the world whilst traveling, and wants others to see that as well. usagi is iffy on her talent.

3:

(hmmm im not sure what your definition of ‘quirks’ are, but here, have this:)

Yuuki: taps her foot an awful lot.

Emica: none visible.

Arate: can you consider writing almost everything down a quirk?

Mitsuo: taps surfaces whenever hes thinking.

Asuka: none visible.

Manabu: none visible.

Seiichi: as noted before, he tugs on his tie when hes nervous. also has a habit of rising his voice when he doesnt mean to.

Tamotsu: has more of an american dialect.

Kamiko: has the iconic danganronpa stutter, hides her face behind her hat.

Kenta: none visible.

Chieko: also has an american dialect, though hers is less apparent then tamotsus.

Masa: has a very cryptic way of speaking, except when she lets normal sentences slip through.

Fumiko: has a bit of a drawl to her voice.

Kohaku: none visible, surprisingly.

Aika: almost always moving, cannot stand completely still.

Satoru: rarely uses h’s if they are at the front of the word.

Usagi: has an unidentifiable accent.

[mieczyhale]

throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)

my tags on this post::  #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches

my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit

my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah

my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op 

my tags on this post::   #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them 

my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings 

my tags on this post::   #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories. 

my tags on this post:: #probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them   

[alicezan-ncgred]

Bleeding Red

Preface: I’ve been bitching around the bush of this long enough. So, I’ve been really silent on a bunch of stuff that’s been eating me alive which has made me both inactive and unproductive. I’m going to get straight to the point, starting off with the TL:DR from my post on my main blog. Context: An anon asked me if I was alright because I hadn’t updated in a while.

TL:DR You probably didn’t ask this to hear about all the bad shit of my life so here’s the short of it. No, I’m not doing fine. I will try get next weeks post out on time and I’ll work on making up on the lost posts. Updates will return regularly, ‘ite.

Time for the thick and thin of it.

Insecurity and being shafted: I’m stoic, even at my worst I won’t say anything. I’ll push through regardless of my current condition and since I’ve gone years like this, it’s not hard for me to do. In my real life situation, I’m currently in a place of social isolation. This has lead to a somewhat near reliance on Tumblr to be my social outlet. This present many issues.

The main one is that I’m quite the isolationist. This has only been reinforced by many interactions throughout the entirely of my life. Because of this, I can’t say I’ve ever had anything really more than two friends at a time. While in a way this has helped me express myself so well through writing, it’s come at the cost of social skill. I don’t talk to anyone.

With this kind of issue you could easily imagine that the THREE PEOPLE (four now, but very limited) to ever directly talk ended up in a way shafting me. The first blocked and disconnected with me without warning or reason. At this point we’ve been talking to each for about a month and we hit it off very well and then one day, silence. Never heard from them again. That fucked me up hard when I finally realized what happened.

The second person left during the Tumblr P**n Purge. We were talking about how to contact each other on other platforms and then they stopped responding. I had already given contact to other platforms of which they pinged me in any way. Another person that I trusted massively on here just abandoned me and I’m still hurting from that. Wasn’t fair at all.

Then the third person was someone that I been following for a while. This person is actually the reason that I’ve been putting this off for so long. I don’t want them to see this post but they will. I got an ask from them that ultimately turned out to be misinformation. I said I wasn’t mad but I was. I was so fucking angry about it and I’m still kinda mad, but I didn’t want problems. I still don’t. I just didn’t want them to worry about it. This will come back later.

I try my best to be as inoffensive as possible. The problem with that is that much of the things I believe or enjoy are highly divisive. Hell, even my own identity can be seen as offence. I’m bisexual, non-binary (I’m currently still questioning this. I might actually be gender fluid but in the overall scheme, that’s worse than being non-binary), and nonreligious. I’m in a very religious area so you I’m still “in the closet” about much of this IRL. I though it would better online but with how much people are saying bisexuality doesn’t exist, or that non-binary isn’t a valid gender (or that being gender fluid make you insane and you should be locked up) and all the hate people who say they are this are getting, the very community that’s supposed to accept me, HATES me. I had a bi pride flag icon last year during Pride Month. I never doing that ever again. It was terrible.

I’m trying my best to come out of my shell like I said I would when I made this blog but it seems I’m just crawling further into it. People I think I can trust keep setting me up to fall, people I know in real life won’t ever accept my existence if they knew who I really was, and my own mental health problem and self loathing are eating me alive. But that isn’t the total of it.

Crumbling Pillar: I’ve always ended up in the position where things were thrown onto me. In which no one wanted to do, I was stuck with. Because of this not only do I have a severe distaste being around my family (beyond everything mentioned before hand) but I grew to have a negative out look on everything. This effect is still quite obvious in my writings, especially my poems. Out of the 14 poems on my poem blog @washed-soul​, only one has a happy meaning.

The one happy poem was called dreams. Under a metaphor it talks about how a demon kept me trapped in a dark space. I start to get better and nearly break free before I have a negative relapse back to my old ways. The poems ends with the demon putting a end to itself leaving the nightmare in which it was keeping me in to slowly fade away, letting one crack of light peeking through to become a window to a door until one day I walk free. When writing this poem, I never thought I would find myself rebuilding the nightmare but that’s where I am.

I’m done with holding things together that other people have placed onto me. Because of this, issues have began showing in my private life. Issues that should’ve been solved decades ago are only now being addressed. This change in the status quo of my life has caused many issues in my productive and mood. Between everything else I’m too tired to do anything.

Is that a reason, is that an excuse. No it isn’t but it’s the best thing I got as a reason. I’m doing my damnedest to do the best I can but of course, when it comes to the thing that matter I just fall short. Big fucking whopha my intelligence and capability does me if I can’t use it for anything that means a damn.

Meaningless Triviality: I’m a very emotional person. I’m very strongly bound to my emotions and if everything above hasn’t given it away, my emotions are very negative prone. But it just doesn’t stop there, it goes back into my memories. I can only honestly place 3 happy memories for certain that aren’t either A) a dream or B) me escaping reality through my mind. Besides that, almost all my memories are negative. 

People like to throw around the word Nihilist to describe themselves because today's culture is very, god while I hate to use this word, edgy. For those who don’t know a Nihilist is someone who views the world as being completely  meaningless and reject all religious and moral principles. I very truly struggle with this outlook of life. It’s a daily for me to berate myself saying “just kill yourself” or “I want to die” or just shutting down and crumpling up while say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” over and over again. Hell, I did that while writing this. 

I take things very hard, even the slightest transgression. I’m so used to trying to make things perfect and because people have the image that I’m the smart one, the mature one, the capable one, I’m left with the over hanging expectation of excellence. Almost no room for margin of error or being human. Since I’m the silent type, I put up no challenge and work to meet it. Only time I get any praise for anything too. 

I guess as a little self promotion to my main blog, for those that have read the very first few updates of my main blog @the-truth-behind-redacted, or read Defiance’s character sheet, while The Machine and Defiance are separate character, they both share the name Machine. That in part is a reflect of said above expectation. How ravenous and inhuman it can be all under the guise of something human. Those characters are the two sides to the same coin. 

Remember how I said I try to be un-problematical and how I try to avoid any potential conflict. In the first segment I told on how I lied about my feelings just so another person didn’t have to worry over something that honestly, in hindsight, wasn’t even really a big deal. But I also said how it consumed me in anger. I just don’t want to bother anyone over anything. It’s part of the reason why I am writing this post, as some way of a self enforced rehab program to get better. 

This absolute consumption of negative emotion has pushed me into a non human state before. I hit a point of absolute mental exhaustion and in such a self enforced bubble of actual hatred I became completely apathetic. I felt numb to everything. I watched and heard of terrible things happening to people, and felt nothing. I watched people lives crumble before them leaving them nowhere to go and LAUGHED. “Just another worthless pathetic worm on this rotting carcass of a planet being hit with the hard reality that life doesn’t care for them. What whimsical pathetic bullshit they deluded themselves with to think otherwise.” This isn’t an exaggeration on how I thought, this is what I actually thought. Which brings me too.

The Mandatory Sob Story: Roll your eyes everyone and get the tiny violin. I guess in order for everyone to exactly understand the place I’m coming from when it comes to mental health I’ll have to detail my experiences. I have a long standing history with mental illness. I have professionally diagnosed OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, and visual and auditory hallucinations. I take 600 mg of Seroquel a day as well as Amitriptyline when needed. I’m also still currently in therapy to deal with said OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, the visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as Suicidal thoughts, and my Nihilism. There’s a reason to why I’m so god damn familiar with mental illness and treatment plans.  

OCD and Bipolarism run in my family on my fathers side. My Father’s Father had them, my Sister has them, my brother most likely has them (however he refuses to see a doctor because he uses said possible mental illnesses as a get out of jail free card. He doesn’t want to be treated and he has FUCKING ADMITTED IT), my father has them, and I have them. I, however, have the misfortune of having it real bad. I said yes to well over half of all the total symptoms when I was being tested (I don’t remember exact numbers but I remember there being three pages worth of common symptoms) which was very worrying to the doctor. I was currently in an inpatient hospitalization program at the time for both suicidal thoughts and actions, and severe depression. 

On that, my graze in with suicide. Before I went into my first inpatient program I was contemplating suicide. I was sat in front of a mirror with a bottle of over the counter medication. It was an unopened bottle of ibuprofen, 1000 200mg tables. What I planed to do was down the whole bottle with benadryl and die in my sleep. I had the small box of benadryl got from the Kroger pharmacy and a hand full of ibuprofen poured out looking directly into the mirror. My suicide note was sitting on the desk on my room with an online copy on my laptop open.

I sat there for an hour in the dead of midnight complicating my life. I had lost all hope in the world, filled with hatred, anger, pain, and despair. I had no god or after life to look forward too, part way hoping that a Hell existed for me to burn in. I hated myself that much. I was close to taking the first handful before before I caught a glimpse of my own eyes in the mirror. In what was in a weird sudden epiphany I realized that I truly did become what I hated but not for any reason I told myself. I became the very bastion of negativity I sought to fight and rid of in what little friends I did have. That was what set off my path to recovery in spite of the medical system. I guess if people care I’ll make a separate post on that. 

Before I move on, I feel I should explain my history with the visual and auditory hallucinations. It should be no surprise that with everything else above, I also had extreme paranoia that led to me having very bad insomnia. Insomnia is, just like most other medical disorders like Depression, Self-harm, Anxiety, OCD,  Bipolarism, is romanticized to hell. Insomnia isn’t having one nights bad sleep where you got 5 hours of sleep instead of 8.

You know what Insomnia is? insomnia is being physical incapable of sleeping despite not sleeping in 2 to 3 day while your body suffers massive agony brought on by this. Muscle spasms and seizing, difficulty breathing, your eyes feeling like fire ants are eating them, and of course visual and auditory hallucinations. Now I already had issues with visual and auditory hallucinations even when I could get sleep regularly but the combined effects of my OCD and Bipolarism made this perfect condition of Insomnia, Anxiety, Paranoia, with the already added in disposition to hallucinations and I felt like I was actually losing my mind. 

My hallucinations presented themselves in three forms. Disassociation of reality, night terrors, or alterations of reality. Disassociation of reality often were complete black out moments. I would lose any perceived connect to reality and enter an episode of my mind. I can’t remember what they actually were but I do remember what it felt like. Cold sweats, anxiety to point where if I didn’t lock up I would vomit, actual physical pain, mind numbing fear, and intense fatigue. 

The second were night terrors often in the form of horrific “things.” I do remember these and most of them were as best as I could describe, forms of things that were vaguely human and formations of industrial machinery. The most vivid one I remember was of a long lengthy apparition that was for the most part human but many locations of it’s impossible physiology were rebar beams and mechanical sockets. It began when I was about to fall asleep and it was next to my window. The thing was making week groaning and gasping sounds before it violently slammed against my window breaking it then letting out a horrific howl that I can’t describe as it tossed itself out followed shorty after with the sound of bones breaking against the dirt. 

Now that might not seem so bad, exspecally with everything that is in horror movies or games now, but keep in mind that was fucking real to me. It was as real as the clicking of the keys of my keyboard as I’m writing this. As real as the chair I’m sitting in and as real as the wall in front of me. As far as my mind was concerned that thing, what ever it was, actually existed. It took me physical touching my window to make sure it wasn’t actually broken and checking outside to see if there wasn’t a body there. This isn’t the type of thing I talk about lightly. 

Finally there is the alteration of reality. This is very simply but it’s something that fucked with me hard. For very little meaning or warning, I would have trouble interpreting the world around me. My hearing and sight would be warped and there wasn’t any real way to tell what I was hearing or seeing was real or not until the episode was over. The way I got through these was the ultimate fake it till you make it. Obviously, very often I failed and this created issue in my schooling. 

Ending Message: I’ve been in a very bad state for a while now and as it is now, no signs of getting better. I also strongly believe my medications are being to fail me which I’ve been telling my doctor and therapist for over a year now but nothing’s been done. Mainly it’s my Depression but insomnia episodes are beginning and my own paranoia been on the rise. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even look at a creepy image or thumbnail without having a very bad episode. 

I’ve managed to eat something today which was nice but my body is cramping hard. And to possible stave of a possible comment, I’m biologically male. Like I said I’m not in the best head space, or living for that matter. If this gets better, only time will tell. 

[oswednesday]

redoing rose’s team before the last of the gym leaders is def a dessert before dinner sort of thing

(ability: heavy metal, moves: heavy slam, flying drop, gravity, fissure)

(so there’s only one battle for him, as far as i want to do rn? ill come up with some kind of Post Game plot but idk yet, i reaaaally loved the setting and the music of this battle what if i spent this whole post just gushing about it?)

(this pkmn design Hard Core reminds me of the game i cant remember, i almost want to use the shiny form cause it fits a pkmn setting better? imo, ill end up tweaking it a bit, i Know turner has played that game whose name i cant recall)

(but big GOD when rose is like ill show you a move thatll (something gloating but not too over top) i cant remember the exact line, it was like, the same way youd show someone a cool pic of your dog only you have a god complex it obliterated my brain cells to make way for horny cells and then hits you with that gmax like ughhhhhhh wish tht was me,)

(they didnt really do anything interesting with this pkmn outside  of the gmax and the heavy slam heavy metal, a lot of the attack dexs feel the samey in this gen cause they axed sooo many moves???)

(oh he gigbigs this bad boy up and uses that move, you know whats up)

(ability: stance change, moves: king’s shield, scared sword, aerial ace, shadow sneak)

(i know ive said this A Bunch but out of any battle this was the one that felt the most like, pain from being stuck in a 20 year old battle simulator, the moves, the banter, the setting, the so so excellent villain song uuugh)

(i like the idea of like even if you missed every clue and were just she/him/thembo on main about the plot youd be like OH THE FINAL FORM OF THOSE SWORD DUDE) 

(i wonder why they never give plot characters shinies even when it makes like, sense? this is literally rose’s sexy sexy palette)

(type: grass/fighting)

(ability: queenly majesty, moves: trop kick, high jump kick, mega kick, endeavor)

(they gave him like random uggos that were just steel like you think a man that Fine is using a ferrothorn??????????????????????? give him shiny ferrothorn at least, its also his palette a bit)

(also sorta wild this thing didnt get turned into grass/fighting? i might turn it into one in the emulator)

(ability: huge power, moves: iron head, vise grip, crunch, poison fang)

(i wasnt sure about this one? but its like elegant, plant looking The Deceiver and steel type so at the same time it seems really obvious? so idk why im like hmm about it)

(ability: light weight, moves: steel beam, flash canon, breaking swipe, metal burst)

(i CANNOT BELIEVE!! they gave one of the gym leaders this and not had this be rose’s like big signature hitter like kidoking or sm shit lik!!!!e!!!!!! man of steel! literal tower! rose tower! sky scrappers!! the FUTURE ughhhhh!!!)

(looking at its g max move it feels like it really was designed for rose, omg what happened?)

(anyway he Also dyamax’s this thing, cause every, like miss o, this blows the remainder of the power so the power plant is on back up generators for the rest of the time? or something? probably something dangerous like a core reactor thing? ill have to look up power plant stuff, wow,,,doing this for you,,,rose)

(type: grass/steel)

(ability: technician, moves: bullet seed, bullet punch, seed bomb, magnet bomb)

(another i cant believe he didnt have it, also,,,,a  type update, like his extra fancy hotel has roselia in designs all over the place! budew sitting on counters! and he wouldnt be rocking one? shame shame SHAME on whoever picked his team out!!)

(ill probs keep the purple rose red tho)

(this team is so flammable but i think cause rose isnt a competitive battler par say that its less like, immersion breaking,  also people probs just lose to him like on purpose all the time, i think he can tell but he never points it out, making battle where you go all out on him something that really moves him)

(making the air be like high altitude so fire attacks do 30% less damage and might just not work, treated more like a miss than say attract so stuff that never misses will land)

-----

battle 2

(dragon/????)

(ability: darkest night: as long as eternatus remains in eteramax form, no pokemon on the field can alter their form through dymax, mega stones or abilities, as long as eternatus enteramax is on the field sunny day and moves that induce harsh sunlight will not take effect; the air becomes noxious air and increases poison damage every turn eternatus remains on the field)

(WILD that they didnt gameifiy how this pkmn behaves and just threw pressure on it sdfgh???)

(also sorry for writing that like a yugioh card, idk how any emulator will deal with that and i might have to rpg the results go with whatever is most narratively interesting, or just set stuff manually and increase as i go? idk!)

(it major feels that somewhere Way early on in the development they stopped designing it as a game and started to do like, a pkmn movie you can slightly interact with, like because nothing is recreateable unlike say darkrai who does have bad dreams ability, this was majorly thinking about how it look in a 3d setting and less how it would function as a monster in a game settin which!!!!

its bonkers cause we LITERALLY just had ultra beasts!!!!!)

(like this is such a step back in game design But i totally get and love what they were trying to do, so going with that, lets give this thot some moves)

(moves: acid rain-??? effect: causes multiple weather effects at once [ link ]

super glitch-???  Defying natural law, this attack increases the users hp beyond all limitations, as punishment this user is frozen, burn and poisoned [ link ]

symbiosis eject button-??? forces the target’s held item to take effect twice, if no item is held the first or second time or if the effect cannot take effect, the target faints if hit [ link ]

zzazz-??? the user explodes damaging everything around it including themselves, if the user faints while using this move, its hp is replenished [ link ] )

[talesofatwentysomethingwitch]

Mirror Book Entry 2 16/10/17

🌙 Moon phase: Waning crescent moon. Recuperate and rest; it’s okay to feel empty sometimes. 

(this didnt go up when it was supposed to because my internet crapped out and i ended up not having the time to finish it off. but!! here it is, anyway. gotta put my thought process down somewhere aha.)

Well, the moon phase for this entry tells me a lot about how to deal with this week. I’ll try and keep it witchy, however undoubtedly there’s been a lot of personal things happening this week that have effected my progress, but i’ve battled on regardless. 

the last entry actually went up on a day where my therapy session was so intense, it prevented me from being able to go into work. i didnt mention it here because it didnt feel appropriate, however, i want to take note of the things i did (outside of what my therapist and medical professionals have told me to, dont worry im not sitting here thinking crystals and herbs are going to cure my depression and anxiety aha) that helped ground and center me in the aftermath of that; and everything else that happened this week. 

this may be a long one, aha. 

firstly, i decompressed in the same park where i got the lovely autumn leaves from for my altar after my therapy session. i waited for my best friend to give me a call and meditated, which helped clear my thoughts before i emotionally unloaded onto her. here’s the thing: im a virgo, an earth sign, however i’ve never been a particularly gifted person with plants or nature or the earth outside of the elements, the weather and the moon. so sitting in a park and meditating definitely helped ground me, and i would turn to it again, however i think i need to start looking at my star sign in a different sense regarding its connection to the earth as an element. 

i think i need to find herbs, plants, gemstones and things that are grounding and clarifying to really attune with, that compliment virgo. i feel like these would be the most effective in that way, rather than forcing myself into a nature like area and getting frustrated at the fact that i dont feel that connected to where i am. 

that’s not to say i haven’t felt any positive energies lately, however. 

in fact, i was very excited when i felt that i energised my first crystal on friday. i wore a lapis lazuli the day before after cleansing it over some sage (more on that later) however i didnt feel the effect of the lapis that i wanted. in fact; my anxiety was so bad that i went home from work halfway throughout the day. again; not to say that it was the gemstones fault or i did something wrong or clearly this whole wicca thing isnt for me, it just didnt happen. which is fine. 

so, what i did the following sunday was energise an onyx stone and wore it on the same piece of cord. and it worked wonders. i grounded myself right before leaving the house, meditated, held the stone with both hands whilst it was around my neck and said; ‘i energise this gemstone with confidence; may it protect me from any negativity.’ 

and i felt the positive energy winding up my arms, into the stone, and back through my body. it was like a feedback loop that spread across me. now, im a big believer in what i can feel and experience, so to feel that without a prompt, without necessarily having to take the first step to visualise? that was huge for me. and the day reflected that; i laughed with people i hadn’t seen in a while, managed grouchy customers with ease, i felt like there was a shield up around me the entire day, bouncing people’s negativity off of it. 

and on that note, maybe i forgot that that energy still needs somewhere to go. 

today i wore the stone again with vastly different outcomes. if anything it felt like i was attracting negativity. someone made a scathing remark regarding my mental health and played it off like a joke. i was dogpiled on without anyone really noticing; all of that negative energy was bouncing back onto me from the day prior. so, i need to figure out what to do in regards to that. do i re-cleanse the onyx? meditate and recharge it again? was the day so good that it was just zapped of energy once i got home? 

are people just dicks? probably. no gemstone can change that, unfortunately.

maybe it’s the fact that i’m not quite there with energizing objects yet. it worked, i felt it work, but it didnt have a lot to give. like a... potato battery instead of an energiser bunny. (portal joke... there’s a portal joke here SOMEWHERE) so i’ll have to research peoples experiences with that, otherwise i think i’ll just recleanse the onyx and try energising it again, see what happens then. 

speaking of cleansing, i bought some sage! it’s... so difficult to work with aha, i feel like i’ll get there; its a triple moon goddess blend of maiden sage, motherwort and cronewort from grand mesa, colorado.

i’m not sure if i like the smell of sage. 

i like the smell of burning. actually, no, i love the smell of burning. bonfires, bonfire night, campfires -- totally into it. for years when i was younger i was so upset that i wasnt a fire sign, the idea of controlling it was so cool and i felt really connected to it. it was, ironically enough, safe. no one could hurt fire, just put it out, but even then the embers would still glow. you could dampen it down, but it would go away fully when it damn well wanted to. 

i spent a lot of my childhood around fire. family ‘burnings’ were a thing; not family sacrifices aha an excuse to have a party with family and friends whilst burning old furniture or having a barbecue followed by a ‘burning.’ my therapy sessions, mostly thoughts ive never outwardly expressed coming to light in my most recent one, tarnished those memories for me. (parents drinking, arguments, nights gone awry, the stink of smoke on my pajamas as i try to ignore the blaring music and stupid fucking arguments etc, etc) but i’ll always have the fire. the comforting fire, which i stared into, happily entertained, not noticing the world fading away around me. comfort. 

i think it is just teething stuff, it was difficult for me to keep the sage lit as i didnt... tell my parents i was doing it and didnt want the alarm in our house to go off and have to explain to them that i was cleansing crystals of negative enegrgy. 

my parents are understanding, but waking them up would’ve just been a dick move on my part aha. plus, ive been as open as i comfortably can be regarding witchcraft, it’s not fair of me to push that boundary and give them a negative connotation of it cause their witch daughter kept them up. 

[missjackil]

My Season 13 Prediction (subject to change)

Well I will make my first attempt at a Season 13 prediction, based on what we know and the hints left by the actors and powers that be. I will recap when and if more information is given, and have my final prediction, the day before Ep 1 airs.  We know that Sam and Dean are going to butt heads over what to do with Jack. Dean recalling past troubles will want to kill Jack, Sam, because of his own personal experience, will want to nurture Jack to teach him how to do good. I dont think this will be a big fight between the brothers, I think they will argue, and Dean will say “Fine we’ll try it your way, but as soon as things get squirrelly, Im taking over” and Sam will be alright with that.  Jack, being played by a 25 yr old actor, wont allow for most real parenting, which is kind of a bummer, like rocking said child to sleep, or midnight feedings (insert Jensen’s “Sam makes an excellent wet nurse” joke here) but Im hoping Jack, though adult size, is less than adult in his thinking, and knowledge, and thus make for some funny, and touching moments,  We know that Sam will wonder if Dean hates him or is at least ashamed of Sam’s past abilities. Which makes me really sad because I know Dean loves Sam more than we could imagine, and Sam does too, so its sad that he can still fall into that rut after everything. It can be painful, but this has some promise for some good broments, that we lacked in S12. We know that Cas is deader than hes ever been. So this means we will probably get a sad montage for Cas in 13.1 maybe a hunters funeral (there was an obvious funeral pyre in a behind the scenes pic, but it COULD be for Kelly, but I think they’ll burn both bodies. Maybe when Cas comes back, late in the season, he can no longer use that vessle. keep that in mind. However I see Dean greiving much more than Sam. 1) over mom, because he will think mom is dead, and Sam will not. 2) Over Cas because though Sam loves Cas also, Dean has always been more emotional over him. Not in a Destiel way, but he gets angrier with him than Sam does, more anxious when hes missing than Sam does, and Dean is much more expressive about his emotions than Sam is. and 3) a bit over Crowley. They did have a friendship, where Sam only had one episode he wasnt bitching at him (justifuably). Sam is going to Be sad, but hes going to push most of his emotions down and cover them up with Jack. Maybe later in the season, this practice of his, will come to a head and he will NEED to air out his emotions.  Sam will use his powers. I dont think, and I really hope, not the demon blood stuff, but the visions and telekenesis werent part of that. He had those powers before he knew anything about demon blood. He cant force visions to come, but maybe he can tap into the telekenesis and work it to be useful? He will probably tap into this so he can show Jack that he isnt a freak and the powers are controlable. Now do I think that will come back to bite him in the ass? Of course, everything always does. but they’ll figure it out, they always do :) but Sam hasnt had a big storyline since S9 and hes more than due for one.  I think we will visit several AUs. Some just for a minute, some a whole episode or 2, but I dont think they’ll find the right AU that Mary and Lucifer are in on the first try. I would love for them to go back to French Mistake Land and see J2 both as husbands and fathers, and be tempted to stay there. Since it is rumored that Daneel will guest star in an episode this season, what better a  place to have her right?

Cas is shipped out in his very deadness to a place that has been talked about on the show but hasnt been shown, I think of course this is The Empty, and he is with another powerful being who is a great actor. My guess is Death, or maybe Billie since he would be the reason why she’s there. She is probably pissed too. The Empty is probably where monsters who die in Purgatory, and Angels go when they die, but I am curious to see if someone can die there? Logically no they can’t because theres no where left to go, but logic doesnt matter in SPNverse. However Misha says that he comes back but slowly. Maybe not the same Cas as before, but this death will effect future decisions he makes. I think he will either come back as Jimmy, and go hang out on the Wayward spinoff, or, go back to being an angel, but this time not remember, or maybe just not want to be around Sam and Dean. In any event, I dont believe the Cas we know will ever be back.  Lucifer will no doubt get out of the AU as well as Mary, and he will take Jack and try to, and probably successfully corrupt him, and he will seek vengance on the Winchesters, particularly Sam but Jack will probably end up sacrificing himself for Sam, or, Sam will have a whole Sophies Choice arc where he has to chose between Jack and Dean. Maybe a Lucifer: Give me my son or your brother dies” Dean will tell Sam to let him die because Lucifer with Jack is worse than any nightmare they could have, but we know Sam cant do that. Or, maybe Dean grows fond of Jack too, and Lucifer threatens to take Sam if he doesnt give up Jack. Sam would insist he go so nothing else bad will happen and him be responsible, and Dean just wont hear it. Could go either way I think.  As with every other season, there will be more than one big story line. There is normally one Big Bad that is part of the entire season, and 2-3 others going on throughout the season. I want to say Jack is the big bad, even if he isnt bad. getting mom back will be a side one that will conclude at mid season, dealing with Lucifer again, will get heavy after mid season, and Cas in the Empty will be the smaller one opens up next season’s theme. OR hey, there might be a storyline or 2 we have no clue about, which is also normal for SPN.  Anyhow, Im really looking forward to S13. I think it has very good potential for things I really like, which are bromance, good character arcs, lots of Brother heavy episodes and bromance. Did I mention bromance? ;)

[annabelharmony]

i liked this one

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52,000+ online now

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like advice.

Stranger: hello

Stranger: here to help

You: ok

You: well this a super minor problem

Stranger: sure

Stranger: what is it?

You: yk the live omegle

Stranger: yeah

You: I meet guys on ther

You: I get their snap

You: They want me for nudes

You: Most of the time I give them

You: Either I offend them or they get bored or smth and unadd me

You: Or we just consistentely send nudes and I get bored

Stranger: i see ...

Stranger: so ... do you want advice on how to create a healthier relationship with people of the opposite sex?

Stranger: or ..?

You: ig

You: I just kinda wanted to rant and get advice on whatever

Stranger: that's okay

Stranger: that's why i'm here

Stranger: first things first, though ...

Stranger: ... there are much better ways to meet guys then sending nudes

Stranger: but i'm sure you know that already

You: well everyone on here is horny as shit

Stranger: yeah lol

You: and for rn I cant just meet people

You: I dont get invited to parties and stuff in general

Stranger: yeah but there are other online platforms were you can meet guys that are as ... sexually active as the ones on Omegle

You: so when Im bored and go on here I expect they want me for nudes even if its not explicitly said

You: sexually active people?

You: on here?

You: idk

You: people on here are sketch virgins

Stranger: well i mean like you said, everyone here is horny af, and you're right

Stranger: i guess that's what i meant

You: so why would they ask for my snap if they didnt want nudes?

You: idk but its kinda of annyoing

Stranger: well, the guys that hangout here on omegle want you snap for nudes, but not all guys that you meet that ask for your snap want nudes

Stranger: you know what i'm saying?

You: do you think people cope with minor things better if they talk about it or they pretend like it never happened

You: yeah i get it

Stranger: i think you should always talk about it

Stranger: because if you don't that minor thing will get bigger and bigger until you can't deal with it anymore

Stranger: it just becomes too much

You: like I feel kinda bad even if this is a really small thing

You: there was this guy who was kind of annyoing but he wanted nudes and i liked him

You: I asked him for his dick size after he sent me nudes I dont know why

You: and then I said aw ok, as in like I liked it

Stranger: i think all you need is more self-confidence

You: but it came across as super mean lol

You: and he blocked my ass

Stranger: like if i asked you for nudes right now, would you send them to me?

You: I have so much confidence you dont even know

You: no

You: bc I know nothing about you

Stranger: but do you really know the guys your sending the nudes to?

Stranger: they just see you as an easy target

Stranger: someone who will give them want they want

You: I think youre right

Stranger: but you shouldn't live to give these horny bastards what they want

You: But I dont see myself as an object really

Stranger: you should be living to help you

You: i willingly give that to them its my desicison

You: which i dont know is good

You: I hate saying no to people especially if I kind of want it

Stranger: but all they get is a few naked pictures of you and that's it

Stranger: no special connection is made

Stranger: so you basically are just a tool for them to use, even if it's your own decision

You: should I do it?

Stranger: lol and i'm not trying to be mean. i'm sorry if it sounds like i am

You: even if I want it

You: no youre right

You: I see what you mean completely

Stranger: well even if you want it, you need self-control

Stranger: if started telling you how pretty and hot you are

Stranger: and then showed you a pic of like my dick or something

Stranger: would you be inclined just to give away a photo of your naked body that will stay on the internet forever?

You: well it depends

Stranger: on what? my dick lol? sorry sorry

You: No lmao idc

You: but I needed some brief interaction ig

You: and no I dont trust this site

Stranger: if you don't trust the site, why are you giving naked photos of yourself to people who use the site?

You: not this site the other one

Stranger: oh you mean the live one?

You: which is a stupid reason ik

You: But this one is sketchier??

You: I dont know how thats possible

You: the other one is pretty bad

Stranger: look, tbh, both of them are really kinda nasty

Stranger: this advice place is one of the few innocent places

You: haha never

Stranger: and i'm sure there are still some nasty people

Stranger: yeah lol

You: are you a guy or a girl

Stranger: guy

You: I think what you said is what I wanted to hera

You: or more like what I needed to hear

Stranger: good

You: but I dont know I guess Ill do it less

Stranger: please, you're worth more than just someone who sends their body to complete strangers

Stranger: you're better than that

You: I dont think that makes me less of a person

You: I think theres this double standard where girls are forced to send nuds

You: and they cant just be chill about it

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: the whole society's fucked up

You: like guys sending their dps isnt a big deal theyre still worth something

You: but I dont know why I do it

You: if Im horny or seeking approval

You: Ig Ill do it less

Stranger: yes please do

You: but Im still doing it occasionally

Stranger: if you're seeking approval, you're seeking it from the wrong people

You: it kind of stimulates me

You: thats why Im on here

Stranger: i understand

Stranger: but if you're horny, you could always just like watch porn or something

Stranger: or does that not have the same effect for you?

You: I feel lonely

You: I used to watch porn more

Stranger: i'm sorry

Stranger: i wish there was someone you could trust

You: Im not that lonely

You: I just send nudes bc Im lonely

You: sex and relationship wise

You: I didnt spell that right

Stranger: it

Stranger: it's okay

Stranger: i wish i could help you more than just telling you stuff

You: no youre helping me

You: Just thing is when I dont have it I miss it

You: The nudes I mean

You: But I DO feel used

Stranger: you don't like feeling used, right?

You: and I dont know how much I care

You: well I dont think about it

Stranger: but you do after the fact, right?

Stranger: like, sure you might not feel used when you're doing it, but once it's already done and you look back at what happened, you feel used, right?

You: sometimes I think its fun

You: But its kind of like porn

You: Theres a limit to it

Stranger: yeah ... it is

Stranger: i mean you're basically giving away pictures of your body to these random dudes on the internet for free

Stranger: who knows what they'll do with those photos

Stranger: again, don't wanna sound mean

You: ok Im just gonna be honest Im not even in hs and Ive sent nudes to like 8 different fucking people

You: no youre right

You: which I dont think is a huge deal

Stranger: wait how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

You: But its not like Im profiting of off it

You: too young for this convo

Stranger: so ... like ... less than 18?

You: I dont like telling people

You: Bc either they skip me or they stay and theyre pedos

Stranger: Uh ... you do know that what you're doing is illegal, right? If you're under 18 and you're giving nude photos to grown-ass men, that's child pornography ...

You: no

You: theyre my age

Stranger: oh

Stranger: well, on the one hand, thank god

Stranger: but on the other, well ... it still doesn't sit right with me

You: what doesnt sit right

You: also do I sound like im older than 18? I think I sound pretty young

Stranger: it's just i wish you didn't feel like you had to send nudes to fulfill some desire you have within you. no i thought you were pretty young, which is why i'm more concerned. we're probably the same age

You: how old are you

Stranger: 16

You: well heres my thing

Stranger: ?

You: I dont know if I should keep doing this

You: like sending nudes

You: Bc there was a period where I wasnt doing it

Stranger: yeah. please don't do it anymore

You: and I really didnt like it

You: Ok I'll do it less

You: and if it comforts you at all I will be kind of reminded of you before it happens

You: not to be weird

Stranger: no it's okay. that's good i guess

Stranger: i have to go now

Stranger: i'm sorry

You: ok see ya

Stranger: i wanted to help you more

Stranger: but ... sorry

You: yeah thanks you helped a lot

Stranger: alright

You: bye

Stranger: stay safe

[lazytacomoon-blog]

Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

"Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

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Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

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Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

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typically, when you try to bid on jobs you will be asked for general/professional liability insurance. however when you subcontract do you still need insurance? also, what are riders and endorsements? thank you""

Will co op car insurance refuse to pay out?

Some idiot smashed into my car and write it off now co op car insurance are wanting a photocopy of the car log book before they send a cheque! Only thing is its technically in my ...show more

Should I buy a new car on interest free with free insurance or a second-hand car?

I have not owned a car in the UK, so have only had a full UK driver's licence for 4 years, although have driven in NZ for 14 years. Therefore, my insurance quotes have been in the region of 2 K. Was thinking of getting a new car to circumvent the hassle of looking for a second hand car and also to bring down my insurance the following year. Monthly repayments on a new car would be 200 on a 10 K car, or 3500 upfront for a second-hand car. Can someone give me a proper financial assessment and also the pros and cons of a second-hand and new car? Cheers!""

Is it hard to get on Insurance with no income?

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow due to a car wreck that happened last year. I have been experiencing a lot of pain. I was just wondering, Would it be hard for me to get on Insurance at 20 years old with no income (Due to the wreck and how much pain I'm actually In).""

If i change my car insurance will my lien holder be notified?

I want to change to a different insurance company and have a an auto loan through my bank so my question is if i change will my bank be notified? I know it is wrong but for a few months i only had liability and if they are notified they can take my car if they see i didnt have full coverage right? I want cheaper insurance but dont want to get in trouble!

Car Insurance?

How much would it cost to insure a red 2007 new beetle+hatchback?

Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

Any good/affordable individual health plans for me and unborn baby in Connecticut?

My boyfriend and I are moving to Connecticut in Nov. from Seattle area. His plan can't be renewed until next summer. I got laid off in July and am currently on COBRA plan with my former employer ($350/month). The carrier is Kaiser Permanente. The HR told me there is no Kaiser in NY/Connecticut area and recommends me to buy individual health plan with other companies. Anybody knows good health plans for young and healthy woman (with a baby coming) in Conn. area? Thanks in advance!

Car Insurance Cost in NYC?

I have a question regarding car insurance. I'm 29 years old. I've been in 3 car accidents but was not at fault for any of them (2 of the times my car was sitting still! lol) and I've never gotten a ticket for any of those accidents. I used to have insurance through State Farm, full coverage for a 2004 Jeep Liberty that cost 50-60 a month in upstate NY. While driving to NYC one winter I got a speeding ticket, my first ticket ever! I was going I think 82(?) in a 65. This was just before I moved to NYC, and because I got the ticket in a podunk little county I was driving through I had no idea what the name was, the ticket flew out my door and I lost it. I figured they would mail me something else to tell me the payment was late but I never received anything else about it. Well I found out later it was because I moved, even though I moved about 2 months after the fact they wait quite a while to send another notice, and I never received it. Thus, my license was suspended but I never knew. I never got caught driving without it either. So I moved here in 2007 with my Jeep which I was very behind payments for, and then it got towed away for alternate side parking BS. I could have borrowed the money back then to pay to get it out but I let it go. Alright so long story short, I don't have the truck, it was auctioned. I'll be done paying for it through a collection agency settlement offer this May. If I had kept the truck, I would be paying 200+ more a month than I pay now, and I wouldn't have been done paying it til August 2011. Plus I would have had to pay to catch it up the 3 months I was behind, plus pay my boyfriends brother back who was willing to lend me the money to get it out of the car jail (lol) I had the suspension lifted last July so I could rent a car, again no issues. So I'm thinking of buying a 2,000 car (cash! I learned my lesson) in June when I'm done paying for the truck and I want to get no fault insurance. I know it will be a lot more here then what I used to pay, and in addition I now have a suspension that wasn't there before. How much do you guys have to pay for your insurance, if it's not too much information to ask? And how much do you think mine might be, or compare your cost and history to mine? Thanks.""

How much is enterprise car insurance?

Planning on renting a car from the 25th to the 29th

What is the cost of the insurance for the car i want ?

I want a Suzuki Ignis 1.5 sport im just about to start driving wants the insurance going to cost ?

How do I sell Health insurance in California?

How do I sell Health insurance in California?

Looking for Catastrophic Health Insurance provider in Florida?

Hi, I DO NOT want to compare rates, I would like a link or phone number of a specific provider if someone knows of one that they can recommend. And please tell me your experience with them, or how you go their number... All the sites I have been to are regular plans not catastrophic, plus, I want a personal recommendation, (well, this is better than just going on the internet blindly). If is for a friend of mine. She is 50, lives in FL. She wants Catastrophic Health Insurance only, (no doctor visits, labs, rx...) Thank you -Dixie""

How do you adjust a W2 form for group term life insurance?

I'm working on a project for a payroll class. Our company provides group term life insurance to the employees. The group insurance is carried at 1.5x the annual earnings of the employee. The employee pays $.30 for every $1,000 in group life insurance each month to pay the premium. The remaining premium is paid by the employer and debited from an insurance expense account. The whole project, we haven't made any employer premium expense entries. We've only focused on the employee's entries and the credits into the group insurance premiums collected liability account for said deductions. Now, at the end of the year, preparing the W2 forms, I'm at a loss for how to treat this. Is the amount over $50,000 added to the wages, tips and compensation for the income tax paid on it? I've read through the W2 instructions but I just don't understand it that well if someone could explain it.""

How much does motorcycle insurance cost in MA?

How much should I expect to pay for motorcycle insurance on a cheap bike in MA? (I'm in cambridge.) I know it depends on a variety of factors, and I could call an agent and get a quote, but I'm just looking for a rough estimate.""

Car Insurance.?

Does anyone know if there is a temporary car insurance you can get, so you only have to pay for it when you are driving the car. My car insurance is $150/month for plpd(partial), it is the cheapest there is, and my car is only worth around $2000. I only drive my car once a month for a 70 mile round trip. I just think its a lot to be paying $150 for a 70 mile trip. More than $2 a mile just for the insurance seems like quite a bit to me. There is no taxis or public buses where I live, and I dont want anyone else to take me. I am only interested if someone can give me information about the insurance. And a motorcycle wont work. Thanks.""

How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old with full coverage?

ok well im going to get 24000 for my car and 3 years of insurance so in just wondering how much monthly car insurance would be because im thinking about 250 but i think that is a bit much please help i need to know how much the insurance would be so i can know how much i can spend on my car???????????????????????????????????????

State Farm Full coverage Auto Insurance?

Ive been with mu current insurance company for about 5 years now. My policy will be ending soon. I have a good driving record except for one speeding ticket back in 2009. Im proud to ...show more

How Much does car insurance cost for 16 year old male in Alberta?

For a 2003 saturn vue, how much can i expect to be paying for car insurance?""

Is it possible to get insurance for my unborn child before he is born?

I have a good job ,but I miss the deadline to get company insurance. So I need some affordable insurance. I'm trying to get some before I get slamed with a big hospital bill.""

Should we keep health insurance or get rid of it?

anyone know the pros and cons of either getting rid of health insurance or to keep it?

Car Insurance coverage?

I was driving in a dirt parking lot at my school, I drove over some 3 foot tall weeds, I didn't see there was rocks underneath and as a result, damage to the under carriage occurred to my vehicle as follows: 1. Radiator crack 2. Transmission oil pan bent, 3. Exhaust damage total est cost $1,800 I am wondering whether or not this will be covered by insurance this happened yesterday I have not yet contacted my insurance company it occurred within 100 Yards of a paved road.""

When does my insurance expire?

I have a Family HealthPlus insurance that I just renewed thus is valid until next year, I also just got a new job, and my employment insurance is in effect as of July 1. What happens next? is my HealthPlus automatically cancelled or can I use both of my insurances simultaneously? The reason why I am asking is that, I have a referral to extract my wisdom tooth from my old insurance, and would like to use it to do just that. My employer does not allow me to take sick/personal days off in the first 90 days of my employment, so I can't really do that between now and July 1, to schedule an extraction. Thanks a bunch!""

How much is insurance in a car for a 17 year old?

I get my provisional this week and I'm just wondering how much it is? I'm from Ireland by the way.

Can car insurance be in both my name and my wifes?

I just sold my car, and am waiting 3 months to buy a new car. My job requires that i have car insurance ( i dont know why since i dont drive for my job) I faxed a copy of my wifes insurance. Can my name be added on to the insurance, or do i need to get seperate insurance?""

INSURANCE ON A 1986 MUSTANG GT?

I TRIED TO GET A QUOTE ON ALL STATE BUT the only years i have 2 choose from is 1995 - 2010 so can i get insurance with a regular company or do i need to get classic car insurance

FIRST CAR INSURANCE in London UK?

I am 18 years old will be 19 this month I want to by a car i have 1500 saved for it and now need to save for insurance road tax etc. my main worry is the insurance ive recieved quotes of 3500 i can not afford this I WOULD ONLY LIKE TO HEAR FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN IN THIS SITUATION CAN YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT QUOTES YOU RECIEVED OR HOW MUCH YOU ARE PAYING

Help! sears auto employee insurance?

does sears auto center provide free insurance from any injuries during their work of hours for the employees such as mechanics

I need Insurance help?

Hey, I just got a full-time job that pays very well. I make roughly $1500 a month, and I was looking to get a new vehicle as a means of celebrating my new step into adulthood. The vehicle I was looking at was a 2005 Pontiac GTO. I'm 19 years old, so I would have to get my parents to help me with cosigning. That wouldn't be a problem, since my parents have good credit. Now, my parents said that they'd cosign if I pay for both the car payment and insurance monthly. I also pay $200 a month for medical insurance, phone bills, etc. The car payment monthly would be about $400 a month, so that would be about one check. My question is, does anyone know roughly how much insurance would be for me? I currently pay $122 a month on a 2002 Taurus, with just one speeding ticket on my record. Any ideas? Thanks""

Cheap insurance?

ok my partner has hes test next week and we are looking for a car costing about 1000 thats cheap on insurance / cheap to run also a 5 door, the best we found so far is a deawoo matiz witch isnt even a 1.0 but the insurance is 1400 for a year! witch is the cheapist we have found as its a 2002 model. any other cars thats we can get thats cheap and around the same year? thanx ~x~""

Which medical insurance company is the cheapest?

I'm 21 college student and I need to get a medical insurance. I live in California. Which company is the cheapest? I was thinking of kaiser but I'm not sure Thanks in advance guys

Insurance Question for lawyer?

i have an insurance that i paid full for six months and it still has two months left however, someone called the insurance place and cancelled my insurance. they didnt pretend to be me, they just know somebody that works in that insurance place, it was the same person who had recommended me to that place. what really bothers me is that this person now knows my information, what car i drive, address, color of car, any and all information that the insurance place has. i know i can get my insurance reinstated because i paid it for six full months and everything is under my name my question is if their is anything else i can do, or does anyone know of any laws that this breaks. im sure that its illegal i just dont know the laws, help anyone?""

Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

Mastic New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 11950

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cheapest-car-insurance-anthony-valencia/"

[viralhottopics]

‘Think about the bigger picture’: life lessons from Meryl Streep and other successful women

Theyve won Oscars, Pulitzers and Nobel peace prizes: eight women at the top of their game tell us how they got there

Meryl Streep has been nominated for more Academy Awards than any other actor, and has won for Kramer vs Kramer, Sophies Choice and The Iron Lady. In 2015, she sent every member of Congress a letter supporting a proposed amendment to the US constitution to mandate equal rights for women; the amendment was not passed

I didnt always want to be an actor. I thought I wanted to be a translator at the UN and help people understand each other. Some young people come into acting because they see it as glossy and heightened and more sort of divine than their existence; but what interests me is getting deep into someone elses life, to understand what compelled them to move in one direction or the other. That other stuff, Ive never liked. My mother used to say, People would give their right arm to walk down that red carpet. Enjoy it! You just cant change who you are.

Womens rights? Were going to keep talking about it until theres balance – Meryl Streep on equality

The influencers in our industry are overwhelmingly men: the critics, the directors branch of the Academy. If they were overwhelmingly female, there would be a hue and cry about it. Women have 17% of the influence, more or less, in every part of the decision-making process in the industry and, inevitably, thats going to decide what kind of films are made. But the material that comes to me is still interesting. Im 67, so mostly I get things for people that age, and there are wonderful projects that would never have existed even 10 years ago. Twenty years ago, I would have been playing witches and crones.

Going from job to job, never knowing where the next one would be, has allowed me to spend time with my four kids more than if Id worked at a desk job. Thats a really tough gig, and I dont know if I could have had four kids and done that. Decisions I made in my career were not always based on aesthetic criteria: was it near, was it going to be shot in the vacation? You make all sorts of compromises in order to have this other thing that you value. My girls and my son and my husband are all way too much in each others business, I would say, but were close and thats important. I always tried to stay challenged and work hard, but also keep my hand in and stir the pot at home.

I spent far too much time when I was younger thinking about how much I weighed. If I could go back, Id say, Think about the bigger picture. Of course, its a visual medium. We think about our looks. I dont bring a suitcase with my dossier in it to an audition, I bring my body, so you cant moan about the fact that youre judged on your looks: its showbusiness. But the other thing is that youre representing lives, and lives look all different ways and shapes. Thats one thing I do see changing, and its really good. It makes the cultural landscape richer.

Nimco Ali, co-founder of Daughters of Eve. Photograph: Brigitte Lacombe

Nimco Ali was born in Somalia. She is the co-founder, with Leyla Hussein, of Daughters of Eve, a non-profit organisation that supports young women from communities that practise female genital mutilation (FGM)

I had FGM as a seven-year-old, and later saw girls going through it, but I didnt join the conversation. Then I started to see my silence as complicity. Around 2010, I moved to London and came across people working around FGM, but I couldnt see what they were trying to achieve. I wanted to educate people, yes, but this isnt a question of ignorance; its organised crime. I got together with Leyla, and we started to do more with MPs.

I want to place the responsibility in the hands of the state. Ive seen community work being done for years, and it doesnt work. Its not up to communities to police themselves. People were saying, How can mothers allow this? but I was saying, How can you, as a citizen of this country, know a five-year-old is about to be cut and stand by because youre afraid to offend her community? Youre telling that child she doesnt matter.

It was early 2011 when I first said, Im Nimco and Im an FGM survivor. A lot of people were shocked. But I didnt want to be treated with sympathy: I wanted to talk about survivors, not victims, and I wanted to prevent it.

First came redefining FGM with the Home Office as an act of violence; then defining it as child abuse. It was a way of saying to these girls, Youre British and we care about you as much as anyone else. My vagina is British; it doesnt have a different passport.

The first time my picture appeared in a newspaper, I had death threats. I stayed in bed for two days, wondering, Is it worth it? But then I felt guilty. If a girl goes through infibulation and then disappears, we never find out. If something happens to me, at least someone will know.

Having friends I can talk to has been an immense help. A girl came up to me on the tube and said, Are you Nimco, the girl who talks about FGM? And I thought, This is where I get spat on. But she wanted to thank me.

I dont think of myself as a leader, but as part of a chain. If it wasnt for all the amazing women who came before me, I wouldnt be able to do any of it.

Samantha Power, US ambassador to the United Nations. Photograph: Brigitte Lacombe

Samantha Power moved to the US from Ireland when she was nine. Her first book, A Problem From Hell: America And The Age Of Genocide, won a Pulitzer prize. In 2013, she was made US ambassador to the United Nations

I had recently graduated from university in 1992 when I saw images in the New York Times of bone-thin stick figures in camps in the former Yugoslavia images I didnt think one could see in the 90s. I wanted to help, but didnt have any skills. I had been a sports reporter in college, so I decided to try my luck at being a war correspondent. It was a bit of a crazy idea, but a lot of young people were doing the same thing, because they felt horrified and powerless.

Im not great at languages, but Im great at talking, and my stubborn desire to communicate with people got me to the point where I could do interviews in the local language. I wrote about my experience, and looked at why the US did what it did when faced with genocide in the 20th century. One key conclusion was how hard it was to effect change. But it still felt as though no other organisation could make an impact like the US government. It seemed to me it would be more efficient to be inside the government than on the outside, throwing darts.

These werent steps on a conventional path, and my advice to young people would be not to decide on a job title and script a path toward it, but to develop your interests go deep instead of wide.

Ive tried to inject individual stories into everything I do: real faces and real people. Empowering women to get involved in government and diplomacy brings a different set of perspectives, which benefits everyone. This isnt a theory, its a fact: according to the UN, womens participation increases the probability of peace deals lasting 15 years by 35%.

My son was born in 2009 and my daughter in 2012, and I hope, as a result of this job, theyll be more empathetic, more globally curious. My son is a big baseball fan, as am I, and when Im finished, were going to travel the US and see a game in each of the different ballparks. I hope to make up for some of the lost time.

Mhairi Black MP. Photograph: Brigitte Lacombe

Mhairi Black is the SNP MP for Paisley and Renfrewshire South. In 2015, aged 20, she became the youngest British MP since 1667. Her maiden speech in the Commons had 11m views online

I was brought up in Paisley: it was Mum, Dad, my older brother and me. We used to go on caravan holidays to the north of Scotland. My mums mum had 13 children, so I had lots of cousins to play with.

Our family has always been politically aware: my grandparents were involved in trade unions and Mum and Dad were teachers. When I was eight, my parents, brother, aunties and I marched against the Iraq war in Glasgow. Tony Blair was in town for the Labour party conference, but apparently he got word of the march, so, by the time we were marching past the building hed disappeared in a helicopter. I remember finding that really unfair, even at eight.

Inequality of any kind is the thing that drives me. I always look at who is losing out, and why. Everything I am interested in boils down to the fact that theres an injustice happening somewhere.

When the independence referendum was announced, I was a yes voter, and I thought, if there was ever a time to join a political party, its now. After we lost the referendum, a couple of folk in the local SNP party were saying I should put my name forward to be a candidate, and I said, Dont be daft. Im 20. What do I know about life? I was giving myself the sort of criticism that other people give me now. People in the constituency started challenging me, saying, Why is that a bad thing? Surely parliament should represent everybody. And I thought, Thats a good point. OK, Ill go through the vetting process and see if I pass.

I had no idea what to do after university, but I think its good to try things and, if youre good at them, keep going and see how far you get. Mum and Dad taught my brother and me to have confidence in ourselves, but never arrogance theres a fine line. Confidence comes from giving yourself credit when its due. My parents always said that as long as you know your stuff and you know what it is youre going for and why, and if youve practised hard and think youre good enough, then, by all means, stand up and make sure youre counted.

Ill be happy if, in five years time, I can say, The place I am representing has been better represented than it ever was before.

I think part of the problem with politics has been people viewing it as a career. You shouldnt be in it in order to become first minister. It has to be for a purpose, and it has to be in the present.

Tavi Gevinson, editor-in-chief of Rookie magazine. Photograph: Brigitte Lacombe

Tavi Gevinson is a writer, actor and editor-in-chief of the online magazine Rookie, which she launched aged 15

People talk about how the internet can make us less connected, but there are also people who cant find that connection to others elsewhere, whether at school or in marginalised communities. With Rookie, I want to create a place where you can make real friendships.

My mother is an artist, and when I was little we were always making stuff, so there was never any fear around creating different things pictures, outfits. I would get home from school, grab the camera and tripod, go into the back yard and just do it. This was way before people could make a living out of fashion blogs.

When I was 13, and living in Oak Park, Illinois, my Style Rookie blog gave me access to a world I would not otherwise have had access to no way would I have been able to see a fashion show without that.

I was OK with challenging people, and I didnt mind if people didnt like my outfits. Fashion has a bad rap, about being shallow, about pleasing men, so I was happy I was wearing unfashionable, bizarre outfits celebrating fashion, but not some beautiful, sexualised model.

On many of the fashion blogs I read, women talked about feminism freely. It felt like a movement of the past, but I realised I had been a feminist before I ever identified as one.

After a series of false starts, I started talking on my blog about what an honest magazine for teen girls would look like. There are people whose jobs are to figure out how teenagers feel; I thought Id go straight to the source not so they could be targeted by marketing companies, but so that young people could have a network.

Ive done my job if people are inspired or entertained or feel more OK with themselves after seeing something on Rookie. We never tell people how to think or feel; we want to tell our readers they already have all the answers. If you want to do something, just do it! You can start 80 new lives if you want. You have to try, and be open and excited about failure, because it teaches you a lot.

Dame Athene Donald. Photograph: Brigitte Lacombe

Dame Athene Donald is professor of experimental physics at the University of Cambridge and master of Churchill College

When I was at school, girls werent expected to have careers. I assumed that after university, Id get a job and then get married. I say to those who are setting out now, its fine not to know what you want to do.

I got married when I was doing my PhD. My husband had a couple of fellowships, but I was the one who got the permanent position. He stopped working for a long time, although it wasnt necessarily what he wanted to do. We have two children, now grown up. I have always been uncomfortable being held up as the woman who has done it all: I know what costs were involved. You do need to marry the right person. I think there is still a presumption that childcare is the womans problem; its not, its the couples problem.

There were subtle gender-stereotyping pressures against physics when I was young. Nowadays, numerous initiatives encourage more girls into science. Its a question of constantly pushing back against the idea that girls do certain things and boys do other things.

At times, I still feel in the minority. I sat on one very high-level committee chaired by a man who addressed the group as gentlemen, even though two of us were women. I later wrote to him, pointing out the discourtesy; he replied that it was just the terminology he was used to it didnt mean anything. The next time he did it, though, one of the men pulled him up and he never did it again. That was probably more effective than if Id made a fuss there and then.

Our intake of women to men is nothing like 50:50, and I would very much like to improve the ratio. We already do an enormous amount of outreach, and I blog and Im on Twitter, because it enables me to reach more people.

Its hugely important to remind the government how much science matters to the economy. We dont have North Sea oil any more, and the banking industry is falling to pieces. Science and engineering are at the heart of our capacity to innovate and grow.

Ava DuVernay, film director. Photograph: Brigitte Lacombe

Ava DuVernay is a film director, screenwriter and founder of distribution company Array. Her 2014 film Selma, about Martin Luther King, was nominated for a best picture Academy Award

I didnt grow up around artists, and I dont come from a family of artists. When I graduated from college I got into film publicity, but I never thought I could be the film-maker. Then I found myself on many sets, and started to believe I could do it, too.

I like that independence that comes from doing things for yourself, and doing them well. Editing, directing, producing, financing, distributing and publicising my own first films gave me a grasp of the process.

In the early parts of making Selma, I didnt believe it was going to happen, even as I was making it. My father is from Montgomery, Alabama, which is very close to Selma, so I knew the place and had a handle on that time in history. I started telling the story and, before I knew it, it was in movie theatres. It was so fast, I never had a chance to think, Oh my gosh, can I do this? I just thought, Im going to keep going until someone tells me to stop.

As a black woman film-maker there isnt a lot of support there arent many of us around so instead of not doing something, I figure out a way to do it without support. As you start to create your own work, you attract help from like-minded people; you can never attract it if youre sitting still.

The landscape has changed since I started my distribution company in 2010; we have Netflix, Amazon, all these streaming platforms. Its an incredible time to be an artist, especially for those who had been left behind. I find it very exciting to think, Im not going to continue knocking on that old door that doesnt open for me; Im going to create my own door and walk through that.

I always say: work without permission. So many of us work from a permission-based place, waiting for someone to say its OK. So often I hear people asking, How do I get started? You just start. It wont be perfect. Itll be messy and itll be hard, but youre on your way.

Leymah Gbowee, peace activist. Photograph: Brigitte Lacombe

Leymah Gbowee is a Liberian peace activist. In 2002, angered by the civil war, the then 30-year-old social worker and mother of four (she now has seven children) organised a march on the capital, with a sit-in that lasted months, leading President Charles Taylor to agree to peace talks. The womens actions led to the removal of Taylor and the inauguration of Africas first female president, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, with whom Gbowee shared the Nobel peace prize in 2011

I was 17 when the civil war started. I had just finished high school and was planning to be a doctor, but the war upended everything. I did a three-month social work course, because that seemed the most immediate way to help. In time, I worked with former child soldiers. I was in one village when the government sent in a truck to abduct children and teach them how to use AK47s. I was with the mothers, watching their children being taken.

By 1998 I had met activists from Sierra Leone who claimed that women could change things, but it was only when I began to work with the wives of ex-combatants that I saw what they meant. The ex-soldiers were often very violent and angry, but their wives stood up to them.

There was a lot of work to do to create a movement that would have some impact: it took us two and a half years. The important thing was that we had no political agenda: we had a shared vision for peace. We were there because we cared about our families.

In 2002 we marched on the capital, Monrovia. There were thousands of us. When we started a sex strike, it became a huge story, and an opportunity for us to talk about peace. Then, when it was clear that nothing was coming of the peace talks in Ghana, we went to the hotel where they were being held and said we would disrobe. This horrified people: to see a married or elderly woman deliberately bare herself is thought to bring down a terrible curse.

We were able to use things that were ours our empathy, the ways we are perceived to make the men listen. It is important we understand our strengths, because in war, the rape and abuse of women and children are seen as ways to demoralise the enemy, to show them they are unable to take care of their families.

It is no longer an option for women to say, Im not a politician. We need to up our game. The age-old excuse has been that we cant find the good women. It is time for the good women to step up.

Extracted from The Female Lead, published next month by Penguin at 30. To order a copy for 25.50, go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846.

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from ‘Think about the bigger picture’: life lessons from Meryl Streep and other successful women