#severe death phobia buddies...

[skunkes]

i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc

[sclepurpose]

Character Info Sheet

Name: Minion ! Name meaning: In English, it means " a follower or underling of a powerful person, especially a servile or unimportant one, " however, in Megamind and Minion's culture, it's the name of his species. Aliases: Space Step-Mom, some random fake names for crime-related things in the past Ethnicity: Fish One picture you like best:

look at him. look at that fruity little hand. hes so fucking cute Three hcs you've never told anyone: -Technically I told yall this but just today so it counts, but Minion is venomous, the venom can induce hallucinations, severe pain, nausea, numbness, intense sweating, convulsions, paralysis, and even death in high amounts. It's comparable to lionfish venom -- survivable, but there are exceptions. -He doesn't have a set taste in music -- he listens to whatever makes his earholes happy. Mostly rock and alternative, sometimes pop, sometimes rap. It just depends on the song and the artist. -Favorite animal is, surprisingly...raccoons. He thinks they're adorable. Three things your muse likes doing in their free time: He very rarely has freetime, but he enjoys going to the aquarium and seeing the other fish there, watching horror movies, and hanging out with his lil' buddy. Eight people your muse likes / loves: Megamind, Roxanne, Solis, um..........Kurt Cobain- yeah idk hes very...picky Two things your character regrets: Letting Megamind become a villain -- it's nothing he could have helped, but he wishes he could've done more to make people love his Sir instead of fearing / hating him. Two phobias your muse has: Melanoheliophobia ( phobia of black holes, ) had ailurophobia ( fear of cats ) but overcame it with age.

[inkdemonapologist]

More scribbles from the Call of Cthulhu Bendy Adventure! (Boo’s been doing recaps/highlights over on his blog if you wanna know what we’ve been up to!) These ones are from session 2! 

Pictured Above: after some fast-talking shenanigans from Joey, some military guards agreed to drive us to check out one of the people we’d apparently been talking to before losing a big chunk of our memories, and we found him, uh, very murdered... and didn’t manage to make it back to the car before that headache/passing out problem we’ve been having hit, and everyone passed out right outside the house in the rain for several hours. Since “we all conveniently passed out for reasons we don’t understand” is a pretty shaky alibi, we were interrogated by the guards about our involvement in the murder of a man we don’t remember while already pretty overwhelmed and cranky about everything else. Henry’s busy dissociating so Sammy’s deploying the weapon he knows best: DISMISSIVE SARCASM. Anyway TIL seatbelts weren’t factory-installed until like the 1950s!

Pictured Below: Sammy and Henry had a sort of unsettling, uh..... vIS I ON??? Sammy suddenly found his ID changed into a silhouette and dripping ink, but when he ran over to Henry to check if he was also seeing this, it turned out that Sammy in his entirety had ALSO been changed into a silhouette of a person.... anyway we all passed out and woke up with everything back to normal, which probably means it was nothing to worry about!!!

Have some out-of-context game quotes:

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (sketch-cryptid), and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Henry] Oh!! That’s normal, and fine!!!

[GM] "Oh! Did you actually want to get a fortune this time?" she says. [Joey] Yes. [Sammy] What? No! [Joey] Yes!

[GM] *pulls Death card* She says, "This card represents your past. It represents where you're coming from, what you've learned, and what you've already experienced." [Sammy] *unimpressed* We've experienced death. Interesting.

[GM] *draws the Devil card* "The next card represents the present, where you are physically and mentally." [Sammy] That one seems right. [Joey] *kicks Sammy under the table*

[GM] *draws Hanged Man* She says that inverted, this card represents selfishness, and egotism. [Henry] Everyone glances at Joey,

[GM] The chattier guard asks, "So what are you doing here?" [Sammy] Mind your business, Binoculars. [GM] "I have a name!" [Sammy] Mm-hm. *gets out of car* [Joey] I'm sure you do! *also gets out of car* [Henry] Henry is going to... quietly thank him as they go... let's not offend our only ride... [Sammy] They're giving us a ride because they wanna EAVESDROP on us! WE'RE DOING THEM A FAVOUR!! For REASONS SAMMY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND!!!!

[GM] If Henry's got the mirror out, you do see some gold on the door, but you can't entirely make it out, because there is a decapitated rooster hanging in front of it. [Sammy] Oh. [Joey] Okay. [Henry] Maybe he doesn't need to know that bad!

[Sammy] Sammy's gonna try really hard to get out of the house. I don't know if he'll make it, but he's going to try! [Joey] Joey is also going to be like TIME TO GO, [Henry] Henry is probably going to be dragging Joey. [Joey] Yeah, I was gonna say, if Henry doesn't drag Joey, Joey's going to be attached to Henry. [Sammy] If you don't leave, Sammy's leaving you both! [Henry] I'd expect nothing less!

[Sammy] What are you doing Henry, who are you sticking with? Or are you going to stay outside and become one with the lawn.

[Joey] Joey’s going to open the car door and go through the glove department-- not department. Compartment. [Joey] YES, our studio has many departments; the Art Department, the Music Department, and the Glove Department!

[Henry] I... ehhh... Henry doesn't want to be accused of tampering with a murder scene. [Sammy] Sammy's gonna go tamper with a murder scene!

[Sammy] [ooc] Just go to a crime scene, take some things, [Joey] It's the 1930s, it's fine. [Sammy] They didn't have crime scenes in the 1930s!

[GM] You get kind of a nod from the guard, and a "take care, yeah?" as you go, which is a step up! [Joey] Joey won't be completely cold shoulder to them, then. [Sammy] Sammy will! [Henry] Henry'll-- [Sammy] Sammy will sneer at them! [Henry] ...Henry'll just give them a tired "You too."

[Joey] Joey is going to take the card on his person, and then put it next to this one in the book, and close the book. [Sammy] The card he said he was going to destroy? [Joey] Yes. [Sammy] Okay, just checking.

[Sammy] [ooc] Joey’s going to steal all our stuff. For the greater good.

[Sammy] Well, if we want to lead the military's little sheep to the organisation they're looking for, this is a fairly good indication that we were not involved, and Thomas is playing the fool. [Joey] [ooc] But we didn't get the fool card... [GM] That's it, that ruins the plan then! [Sammy] Well HEAVEN FORBID that we should deviate from the plan, laid out for us in the cards, that ends with tAKING TEN SWORDS IN THE BACK!

[Sammy] [ooc, summarising a relevant piece of writing we found] Okay, he says he wakes up in a labyrinth, uhh -- did Buddy write this? "Terror gripped my soul,"... he was “wounded in spirit”..."I forgot who I was" -- yeah I think this is Buddy traversing the Music Department!

[Sammy] When Sammy sees what's happened to his ID he will... come inside looking, distressed? And go up to Henry, and show Henry, [Sammy] Henry, do you see this? [Henry] [to the GM] ...Do I see it? [GM] You do, the ID is a silhouette of Sammy, and indeed, to your eyes, Sammy looks like the picture. [Sammy] ...WHAT. PLEASE CLARIFY. [Joey] A silhouette of Sammy walked in and asked 'Do you see this'? [GM] Yes, and thrust out an ID picture with another silhouette of Sammy. MAKE SANITY ROLLS! :D

[Joey] I'm going to take a simple phobia... in which, Joey's not going to be able to handle being alone anymore. [Sammy] ...Maybe that's for the best.

[lighthouseborna]

👫 for cj too and i Will send another one from her acc if you need/want them to be separate

(Send 👫 & I’ll write four hcs for our muse’s dynamic) || Accepting!

Allie

1. He absolutely unquestionably would follow her off a cliff, like. Probably it’s because he’s got his own good sense of direction to find his way back with, definitely the fact that he likes and trusts her is part of it, but also maybe there’s just this little bit of fae-and-human at work here because. Allie has the specific ability –and not necessarily on purpose– to just... charm him away. From whatever he was doing, wherever he was going. Call and he goes. If someone needed to kidnap or distract Henry they could be like “Allie go tell Henry to follow you to (place that isn’t here)” and it would work like... I don’t want to say without fail but in the vast majority of situations. Yes this is partially true of a lot of his relationships (if they need him, he goes) but I mean even more than that. Again, maybe it’s got a little bit to do with their natures, I don’t know, I just know that even at higher stakes or when he’s properly caught up in something and seems vaguely unreachable, Allie could go “come with me?” and make puppy eyes and unless the other matter at hand is like literal life or death/or something of that magnitude, it’s going to work. When he’s in a good mood he won’t even ask where they’re going. Doesn’t matter. He’s going somewhere with Allie, that’s all. Sometimes it’s even nowhere, they go nowhere, and they do nothing, but still he goes.

2. I think... he’s been very gently trying to lessen her phobia of the water. Pushing at it, a little bit. Not ever in a way to bully or belittle her — the ocean and lakes can be dangerous, having some level of fear around them makes sense. He’s not about to tell her that it doesn’t make sense. That would be as mean to her as it is untrue. Rather than an all-out avoidance, though, I think he’d try to frame it with due caution, and not dire fear. It doesn’t come up every time they’re together and he’d never force her into doing something that would genuinely upset her. I think he’s made it really known that, if she ever wants to push back at it more, he’d be happy to help her figure out how. He’d very happily teach her how to swim, if she wanted to learn. (Crosses his heart and pinky promises with all sincerity it wouldn’t be that “my parents threw me and expected me to figure it out” style of ““teaching”” -and in fact he  plans to talk to several of the people who say shit like that and ask if they know that’s a genuinely traumatic event that happened to them.)

3. Nap buddies. That’s it that’s the whole- they just. He does A Lot in this verse and for some reason my brain insists that Allie is not only capable of slowing him down but very often does and just. Nap buddies. The way she plays with his hair makes him really sleepy.

4. The fact that some metals are harmful to fairies entered really strongly into his awareness when they started hanging out. It had always been one of those things that he knew about at least vaguely, but it did not pose any actual relevance to his daily life until then. If he had any jewelry that he knew for a fact would cause harm, he threw it out. If he kept any, it was because it had a sentimental value to it, and he keeps it separate from the rest so it doesn’t accidentally get shuffled in where he might forget and wear it and do harm.

CJ

1. Henry (did not wait for anyone to answer) because he knew the answer was no. Yes CJ does things that are dangerous, and inconvenient, and hurtful, and terrible--- we know this. She knows this. And I think at first Henry had a similar “there she goes again” that a lot of people have for when CJ... does CJ things. But then. There was something about the way people responded. That way they had of sort of ganging up on her. And it made sense, because she’s made a public enemy of herself and in fact seems to be quite proud of the fact that she has made a public enemy of herself but. Still. The way that it just had this nature of ... CJ would get the blame for things whether she had done them or not. And CJ would draw scorn for things other people do and get no attention for. All of her missteps, no matter what level they fell on (public or private) suddenly were made matters of common debate and debacle. And it just. It didn’t sit right. So, no, he did not wait for an answer, and he did not really even ask, because it didn’t sit right. No one should have to stand trial alone, much less stand trial alone for every action they’ve ever made in their life. And he doesn’t excuse her bullshit, and she doesn’t get to walk all over him, but she does get an allowance, because if the only effective language she learned was violence, that’s not her fault. ((And it’s not Harriet’s either, and Harriet needs to stop taking it all so personally.)) And she gets patience. Because Henry is only the way he is because of allowances people gave to him, because of patience people extended for him. Because of the kindness and support they gave, the how-to-be that they showed him. And he’s got it in spades. So, yeah. At his back she goes. 

2. He expects she’ll stab it at some point –if only lightly, to see what happens– and it’ll be alright. To be perfectly clear, though, not for free. She can’t walk on him. He won’t let her. The nature of his allowances would shift duly, and he’d explain (in words, not just expecting her to get it) how she let him down and why what changed, changed. He’d tell her how to fix it, too, though, and give her the chance to. (This isn’t an allowance it’s just what he thinks is fair.) EDIT: I came back because- this is not “expects” as in ‘expects her to fail’ that’s not- it’s not failure. It’s not like that. It’s expects because it’s what she knows, and what some people do when they panic. If she ever stabs him in the back it won’t be “I knew you would” in a vindictive ha-ha way, it’d be “I know this is what you know” way. I know who you are. I chose to put you at my back knowing it. I trusted you to be there, and I could, with effort on your part, trust you to be there again after this.

3. There is. A feral streak. And they are different feral streaks, I know this, but there is. A Feral Streak. And when the mood catches him just right and the mischief is high and the call to be wild is singing she can rope him into stuff that he absolutely knows better than. Dare him, CJ, dare him. You’ll be shocked what that will goad him into. (He is a pirate, you know.)

4. I don’t know if this is in any way a thing but something in me insists that CJ has to have that like, messing-with-things thing. Fiddling. Fidgeting. Busy hands. And Henry is same hat, right? And also happens to wear bracelets and necklaces with regularity, and I’m just saying that if she were to be sitting next to him and started messing with his bracelets or even his necklaces purely out of something-to-do-with-her-hands-and-he-was-nearby-and-wearing-something-shiny he would definitely just let her. Does not bother him. Wouldn’t even distract him, he can fully have a conversation while she’s just, fidgeting with his necklace. He’s also very aware of her sticky fingers though, no she cannot have the pretty blue necklace, and while they’re talking about it give the bracelet back.

[kaijusplotch]

Far From Home (self insert/Tech the bad batch fic part 1)

The storm was raging with all the strength that the summer heat that day had given. Driving at night was not Lynn’s favorite thing, but such was the work of a paleontologist who gets too into her work. She frowned and tried not to jump when the flashes of lightning lit up the road she was on. Of all the days she got lost in time on a dig site.

“Dammit...Good going, Lynn,” she grumbled to herself. At least her truck was able to handle the heavy rain on the road. A strange blue flash; less intense than lightning, and far more vibrant blue, caught her attention.

“What the fu-SHIT!” Lynn screamed, slamming on the breaks as a sudden flash of lightning illuminated a figure in the road. She swerved the truck to the side of the road, missing the figure in bright white clothing.

Lynn’s heart was pounding wildly as she threw the truck to park and stared at the mirrors. The figure was wandering and staggering in the road. She glared and practically kicked open the door to her truck before getting out.

“What the FUCK are you doing?! You could have gotten killed!” She screamed into the storm at the figure. She was getting soaked but as her eyes adjusted to the darkness; illuminated only by flashing lightning, she got a better look at the figure.

What she first thought was fabric or a suit was armor of some kind; metal painted white with red and dark gray markings. There was a light, or something glowing, near the individual’s face. They were wearing a rather distinctive helmet, and something familiar sparked in Lynn’s mind.

“Is there a fucking con going on? Hey! You’re going to get killed dammit!” She rushed forward into the road to grab the man in the road.

“What…? Where?”

Lynn grabbed his arms and pulled the man back; surprised at how tall he was, taller than her by over six inches. Yet he was built like a swimmer, lean strong muscle where she could feel between the plates of armor. A flash of growing light around the corner of the road; the rain pouring down, and crashing thunder did nothing to hide the sound of a diesel engine.

“Get out of the road!” she screamed pulling the man back and off the road, landing on her back with the man in cosplay on top of her.

The tractor trailer blew past with a roar of it’s engine and Lynn clutched to the man on top of her, her heart racing.

“Shit...oh...oh fuck,” Lynn prayed carefully rolling the stranger off of her and looking down at him in the flashing lightning. “Hey...hey wake up. C’mon man.” She wrangled her phone from her pocket and shook the flashlight app on.

In the steady light of her phone, the costume was well made but the helmet had sustained damage to the right side. The man’s eyes were closed behind well made goggles, making Lynn’s heart leap to her throat as she checked for a pulse. She let go of the breath she didn’t know she was holding as she found a strong pulse. Running her hands carefully on the underside of the helmet, her fingers touched the seal that ran just under the rim.

“This is some damn good costume work,” she muttered. Her fingers caught a pair of buttons and the seal hissed as it was released. Pulling the helmet off was a little difficult but not complicated. Lynn carefully put her hand behind the man’s head and rested it on the muddy ground.

He had a severe widow’s peak of brown-red hair that was spot on for the costume. His face was lean with sharp cheekbones. The stranger’s skin was a rich brown; not too dissimilar to the shrubland soil in the badlands. Lynn squinted in the rain and the light of her flashlight wondering how the fuck the man got his skin so smooth; that was for another time; though as he groaned and a small trail of blood from his left temple

“Shit...Hey….hey c’mon man wake up.” Lynn gently patted his cheek before reaching up to touch his temple, her hand coming away sticky and warm.

“Nnnng…’Hunter?” Warm brown eyes fluttered open and Lynn carefully put her hand on his shoulder.

“Easy...you got a bad knock to the head. Can you stand?”

“Y-yes,” the man said, his accent bright even through obvious pain, with a British sound. “I believe I can with assistance.”

Lynn carefully gripped his arm and threw her free arm around his shoulders. “One, two, three!” Leveraging her weight back as the cosplayer moved forward they both got back to their feet. “All right. My truck’s right over there. I have a small med pack to patch you up before I get you to a hospital.”

“No! No Hospitals!” The man’s eyes were wide behind the goggles, turning his head toward Lynn and spraying her with water and a bit of blood.

“Okay...okay, no hospital.” Lynn conceded. She wasn’t one to argue with someone’s phobias. “I’ve got a first aid kid in my truck.”

The stranger nodded and walked with her through the rain to the beat up pickup on the shoulder of the road. It would be a pain in the ass and she would get soaked but Lynn would deal with it later.

She opened the passenger door and pushed her dig kit to the middle of the seat. “Here, sit down and relax. I’ll get my bag.” She hurried to the bed and opened the cap door before grabbing the red and white first aid kit. Rushing back to the cab she put the bag on his lap. “Okay. Hang on, this is going to sting a little.”

She got a piece of gauze soaked in alcohol and cleaned the wound on his scalp. She grimaced in sympathy as he hissed. “Sorry. At least it’s not deep…” Lynn continued to clean the wound and got a bit of neosporin out and a bandage.

“No bacta?”

Lynn laughed a bit. “Going really into character huh? Can’t say I don’t wish we had bacta, it would probably be a lot quicker and less scaring.” She bit her lip as she carefully moved some of his hair out of the wound. “Neosporin should help keep it clean though with the butterfly bandages.” She carefully leaned forward, smiling at the man and looking him over for any other injuries.

“I don’t understand…where am I?” He reached up to touch his head.

“South Dakota, just outside of the badlands,” Lynn popped the internal bubble of an ice pack and shook it before wrapping it in the towel she kept in the bag. “Here it’ll help the swelling. You get dumped out here by your buddies from a Con?” she asked as she grabbed a small bottle of pills and a water bottle from her cooler. “You don’t have any allergies to medicine do you? All I have is Excedrin and midol.”

“No, no allergies. South Dakota? Where is my datapad? I must have hit my head harder than you thought.” The man reached down at his hip and grabbed a strangely shaped tablet case from his hip.

“Don’t know how well your tablet will work. Had to kind of throw you back with me so you didn’t get turned into a roadkill pancake.” Lynn rolled her eyes and closed the door to the truck before running to the other side.

She was soaked to the bone and the chill from the wind was enough to make her crank the heat in her old truck. She glanced over at the man, eyes trailing to the tablet in his hands. The glow of the screen and the strange-yet-familiar alphabet trailing across it made her chest constrict nervously as the storm continued to shake the sky. “What….kind of app do you have on that thing? That looks like Aurebesh.” she laughed nervously.

“That’s because it is.”

Lynn bit her lip and tried to keep herself focused on the reality of the situation, not the strange possibility that was building in her mind. “Do you have a place to go? I mean you’re pretty much out in the middle of nowhere…”

“I’m afraid not. Until I am able to exactly pinpoint where this planet is, I’m without any ability to contact and inform my squad.” The man looked up at her and Lynn swallowed hard.

“What the fuck is going on…?” she asked, staring at him. “You’re Tech? You’re REALLY Tech from Clone Force 99? The Bad Batch?”

The stranger met Lynn’s shocked look with one of nervous apprehension. “You know who I am, who my squad is?” His hands gripped the sides of the tablet and he leaned away from her just slightly.

“This...I have to have been hit by something. The truck hit me right? I’m dead and this is all some kind of death dream? Oh my fucking god.” Lynn leaned her head against the steering wheel, her eyes wide as she stared at the dashboard.

“No,” Tech said, his voice softer. “We are both very much alive. I’m only alive because of you. Thank you.”

Lynn felt his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him, focusing on the fact that his hand was warm through his glove and her shirt. His eyes, even through the yellow tinted goggles, were wide and flicking across her face as if he didn’t want to keep eye contact.

“You’re lucky I’m not an asshole. otherwise you would have been pasted on the front of that semi.” She laughed bitterly and gently put her hand on top of his. “Let’s...get home; my home. We can figure everything else out once we’re dry.”

“And what should I call you? You know who I am,” Tech said dryly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Lynn. You can call me Lynn.” She smiled, putting the truck into gear.

[johannesviii]

So I guess I’m hyperfixating on Death Stranding at the moment

And since I’ve finally finished the story after playing it for like 100 hours over the course of seven months or so I guess I have Opinions(tm) about things I didn’t like in the game

They’re eating at my brain so I’m gonna put them all in a single post to get them out of my system once and for all so I can enjoy the rest in peace

Spoilers, obviously

Hi welcome back to ‘Johannes is obsessing over yet another video game with horror elements in it’! I guess!!

Our latest entry in that category was Until Dawn but since UD can be played in like 6/7 hours and I spent 100 hours of my life on DS, as you can guess we’re talking about a full-blown hyperfixation, the kind that physically hurts because I can’t focus on anything else even after having finished the storyline

But it was super gradual. Again, seven months. I barely made any progress from December to May because I was only doing side-deliveries at the beginning of Chapter 3 instead of... you know... advancing the plot. It became an honest-to-god special interest about two months ago, then 6 days ago while playing chapter 10 it reached hyperfixation levels and now I am in PAIN

I hate my brain

Anyhow

At first I wanted to list the good and the bad hings in it but there’s too many good things to list them all in full, excruciatingly long details, so

Very Quick And Very Incomplete List Of Good Things That I Love

It’s a post-apo game based on travel, logistics, and good will, and it straight up goes AGAINST the whole ‘survival of the fittest’ trope that SO MANY post-apo things try to push!! YES

I insist but it’s built on helping each other and keeping everyone alive, seriously that is my shit right there!

The online community is wholesome?? People leave stuff everywhere, you never see anyone but people put little helpful signs and send you likes, and in my game we almost managed to repair all the roads together

There’s so many new & strange allergies and disabilities and phobias in this post-apo world and? nobody is trying to ““fix”“ anyone?? Like Heartman with his padded floor and his little box that brings him back to life constantly. He’s just... living like that. Nobody’s going “hey maybe you should get another heart operation buddy”

The hero and his phobia of being touched. I. Loved. That. The quiet scenes when he was just talking with Fragile, sitting next to her. In any other context this would just be two people sitting next to each other and talking but it always feels so soft and intimate everytime he allows another human being to just. be next to him. I love it. I love them

Everyone crying constantly because of chiral allergy!!

I loved all the important characters bar one (Bridget/Amelie)!

Why is this walking simulator so enjoyable why am I enjoying the fact that holding L2 + R2 while walking feels like holding your backpack and that you have to relax at times just like you’d have to if you were actually holding a backpack

Seriously. Why

The atmosphere was so great, the music was fantastic and the visuals were on point. A E S T H E T I C

The ghosts!! The giant Beached Things!!! Chiral crystals look! like! creepy hands reaching for the SKY!!

THE RAIN DESTROYS THINGS AND KILLS PEOPLE BY ACCELERATING TIME THIS IS SO COOL SHUT UP

Everytime the game got surreal it was electrifying

THE SURREAL WAR SCENES ON CLIFF’S BEACH

Everyone is using emojis

There’s guys addicted to delivering packages in that game and they’re trying to steal our stuff and we’re like “haha they’re dumb” but we’re basically addicted to delivering packages as the player. So yeah that was pretty fun

Terrorists thinking humanity isn’t going extinct fast enough and wanting to just rip the bandaid and speed things up. Simple but effective concept

People ask for SUPER VITAL ITEMS right next to completely trivial stuff and I’m LIVING for it. “Please fetch my toy dinosaur”. I feel you dude

The most isolated characters are like "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS THING I LIKE" in your emails because they haven't had contact with other humans in years, it's super relatable

There’s a farm where people use the fact that Timefall rain accelerates time to grow food super quickly in one (1) Timefall and harvest everything just before it starts to die and I LOVE that detail of worldbuilding so much

YOU’RE FIGHTING BEACHED THINGS WITH YOUR OWN BODILY FLUIDS IT’S SO STUPID BUT ALSO SO COOL?? I love yeet-ing my own blood at eldritch entities

THE T W I S T S

All the fanservice (bar one detail that I’m gonna complain about later) is on dudes. This game reeeeeeally likes to show dudes naked or somewhat naked. Mostly the main character but this mocap also L O V E S Mads Mikkelsen and there’s a shit ton of homoerotic shots in there

I love Sam the antisocial papa wolf delivery man and if someone touches him or his baby again, I will cry

LOU. LOU LOU LOU PRECIOUS BABY I’D DIE FOR YOU. Wait I did

I love Fragile and how brave she is and how she keeps helping people even if most of them wrongly think she’s a terrorist and yes I will eat this cryptobiote thank you

I love soft science boi Heartman who keeps dying again and again and is a bit too much interested in bodily fluids

I love garbage man Higgs and how complex, funny and still somewhat tragic this memelord actually turned out to be in the end

Seriously I want to stop fixating on this character but you can’t give me YET ANOTHER character who wants to die but at the hands of someone else, that is unfair to do that right after my fixation on the new Doctor Who Master

So yeah Higgs is yet another character who makes me want to grab him by the lapels and shake him and yell WHY! ARE! YOU! LIKE! THIS! STOP! BEING! LIKE! THIS!!

Cliff broke all three of my feelings beautifully and in excruciatingly well-acted scenes that transcended the sometimes lackluster dialogue

John made me cry during That Scene

Mama your background was tragic and terrifying and you didn’t deserve any of this shit and I love you

Deadman was more funny than anything, really, but I still liked him even if he had no sense of personal space whatsoever and it clashed horribly with Sam’s phobias

The ending had some sad parts but was mostly positive, thank goodness

Now I’m gonna explain things I dislike and this looks long but it’s actually only 5 main things so I bolded them to avoid confusion

Things I really disliked (and could have been handled wayyyy better)

We all know it but Kojima isn’t a master of subtlety and some parts of the dialogue kept repeating the same informations again and again AND AGAIN and I was like “ok ok I get it”

The dialogue can be so bad at times seriously

Kojima is a bad writer there I said it

It was particularly annoying with Amelie/Bridget and the fact she’s a horrible person trying (and failing) to justify her actions wasn’t helping

Bridges protocols are incredibly intrusive. All of them. I know it’s framed as bad and Sam hates being spied on all the time and in the end he destroys the device that does that, but I wish someone else would openly criticise it in-game

I guess Deadman sort of did but still

Also I know the whole BB technology was Bridget’s idea, and since she’s the actual villain it’s framed as a twisted, evil thing during the ending, but I wish that had been framed like that much earlier ; a lot of Bridges employees just... seem to accept the idea that their employer is using premature babies and their dead mothers as useful, if disturbing, devices. They seem to justify it by “uh we stole that technology from terrorists” to try to cope with the idea but... yeah.

I mean, one of the points being made very early on is that Sam sees his BB as his child who must be protected at all costs instead of a detection device, but I really wish he wasn’t the only one to object to that thing

Again, the game DOES frame "using babies and their dead mothers as tools” as evil and twisted, I just wish it was given a lot more weight and way sooner

Now let’s talk about the Token Straight(tm) in this game

In any other kind of context it would be a joke! But Death Stranding literally has a Token Straight Guy!

I mean, there IS a few hetero couples among the Preppers. Not a lot, mind you. Like, there’s the Montaineer and his wife for instance. But they’re just there and it’s not what their side plot is about

No I’m talking about this piece of shit right there

This f█cking Junk Dealer guy complains the girl he loves is dead because of Bridges and emotionally blackmails us by sending us old holograms of her before her supposed death (somewhat disturbing holograms too because she looks... pretty young in them), then he sends us on what’s essentially a suicide mission in a BT infested zone, THEN when we give him proof she’s still alive and living in another bunker nearby, he won’t go there himself to check??

But SHE’s like “ok, bring me to him, then!”

He doesn’t deserve you, girl

I’ve already seen several people pointing out that carrying a woman as cargo on your back is... debatable at best and sexist at worst, but that part didn’t really bother me to be honest? She asked to be carried to him and it’s her choice. She was talking to us the entire way too, so that made things a lot less awkward. Also Sam has this phobia of being touched by other people so I bet carrying another human being on his back isn’t fun for him. It was also super stressful to do, to be honest.

And then there’s this EXTREMELY AWKWARD scene when they’re reunited and decide to get married, and thankfully Sam finds it just as awkward as we do because he’s standing super far away from the bunker in a “can’t they talk about this later - I’m right there” way. And I’m under the impression it was intended as cringy, in a “yeppp young people in love are Like That” sort of way, so I can accept that, to be honest. If you don’t take that scene seriously, it’s pretty fun in, again, a cringy sort of way

BUT

Then you receive more emails later and this piece of shit guy complains about her and he’s like “ugh WOMEN” or “marriage is the worst” and they end up divorced in record time and she goes back to her bunker

Which isn’t my problem with this subplot either, I promise I’m gonna explain myself eventually but this context is important. It’s okay to have characters who are pieces of shit like this guy who reeks of incel cologne. It’s alright. Not every character has to be a role-model. It’s good to have characters you can hate.

BUT THEN they get back together later to try to patch things up and you learn he was part of a gang who murdered her parents even though he protected her against the rest of the gang and that’s what I hated about that storyline. I guess if you squint it can be read as “this woman is making REALLY BAD life choices” but I read it as “he saved her so she owes him something, he can’t be entirely bad” and y i k e s this left such a bad taste in my mouth, good lord.

But yeah miss Chiral Artist you’re making really bad life choices please get away from this dude as soon as you can, thank you

Also don’t do this ‘sending Likes’ pose ever again, it was hilarious but also you made me use the word “cringy” several times in this paragraph even though I absolutely hate cringe culture, look what you made me do

Now I have to talk about a scene that was intentionally disturbing as hell but ONE (1) detail in it was disturbing for the wrong reasons

To be honest, I really don’t like the Metal Gear Solid games and one of the reasons is the rampant sexism in them so I... was kind of bracing myself for Death Stranding and expecting it to have at least SOME really bad fanservice with a woman at one point or another but to my surprise?? There was none? All the fanservice is on dudes??? Hello? I really liked that (well at some point Fragile takes a shower in our room but we see literally nothing except her shoulder and then Sam looks away)?? What a refreshing change

THAT BEING SAID

And if you played the game you know exactly what I’m about to talk about

Yep this is the part where Johannes complains about how the bomb flashback was shot

Ok so I guess I should also give some context in case someone is reading this but hasn’t played the game, but the deal with this scene is that our friend Fragile was betrayed by her colleague Higgs who used to be a porter but became a terrorist after meeting the “main“ villain of the game. First he secretly put a thermonuclear bomb in one of her deliveries so she’d nuke an entire city without even knowing it, and everyone after that thought she was a terrorist. And then he tried to do that shit A SECOND TIME, but she noticed and decided to toss the second nuke into a bottomless lake of tar. But he caught her just before she reached the lake and he decided to give her a sadistic choice, which was “teleport away and the bomb stays there and nukes the city, or carry it to the lake but only in your underwear under this rain that speeds up time and it will do enormous damage to your health and your body”

And of course being the hero she is, she decides to take the second option

And it’s an incredibly disturbing scene and it’s genuinely hard to watch

But it’s also the ONLY time a woman is in her underwear in this entire game and there’s A COUPLE of shots that were male-gaze-y at the beginning before she started to run and the really horrific part started.

So in a way I guess it could have been worse? way worse, even

But it still tarnishes an otherwise disturbing (and harrowing at times ; seriously I know I’m oversensitive but it was physically painful to watch) scene with unnecessary shots

We know Fragile had a young body before this happened, this isn’t the point of this scene, guys

Whoever decided to keep these shots (probably Kojima let’s face it), that is bad and you should feel bad

Idk how to do a visual transition for that next one because I do not want to screen that memo

So here’s a screenshot with a nice landscape instead

tw: acephobia

Now I have to talk about something I like the GENERAL IDEA of, but not how the IN-GAME MATERIAL ABOUT IT was written

Because I have to talk about that “asexual world” memo

First I have to say that I absolutely love the fact that a mainstream game openly says in-game “this future is full of asexual people" and?? it’s just that, it’s a part of this world. That’s just how things are. It’s normalised. I love it. For crying out loud this memo has the word demisexual in it. I can’t think of any other mainstream game that had this word in it so far.

It should have stopped there and let me enjoy that in peace but it didn’t

THE MEMO ITSELF WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE CONCEPTS and there’s some really bad stuff there. I’d say it’s accidental acephobia but it’s still there. I’m not the best person to talk about this because I’m bi, but it still rubbed me the wrong way

The words this memo uses near the beginning are “"sexless lifestyle” among young people” and yikes, my dude. “Lifestyle”, uh? Really?

And then it goes on about how these new labels were already more and more common “among young people before the Death Stranding” and it also rubs me the wrong way, in a “wow young people and their weird labels lol” sort of queerphobic way?

However I’ve seen a post pointing out that the line “One theory posits that the Stranding accelerated the proliferation of these sexualities” was maybe a way of saying ‘yo asexuals are causing the end of the world’ but... I don’t see it, tbh? In the context of the game, society is extremely divided and a lot of people live in complete isolation and social norms have heavily shifted and it’s kind of normal that there’s queer people visible everywhere now, aces included obviously, because nobody’s bothering to hide it anymore. It’s a post-apocalyptic world! People are just being themselves! A lot of characters also seem to be bi/pan! They’re just vibing ok

At least that’s how I read that part, I can understand if someone had a problem with that bit but I didn’t

BUT! THAT’S NOT ALL because the memo concludes (I’m paraphrasing) “the birth rate has dropped, which might be a problem, but harassment and assault have also dropped, which is good, so idk it’s 50/50″ and. like. I get the intention. But it’s clumsy as hell and very bad. Please don’t confuse abuse of power and attraction. They don’t go hand in hand. Don’t do that. Please. And you know that aces can have kids if they want to, right. Come on. It’s 2020 my dude. This shit is harmful

Also. Like. It’s the end of the world in this game. People don’t want kids. It... has nothing to do with aces. Reality itself is crashing down. People are reluctant to have kids because reality.exe might f█cking crash down at any given moment!

Or a Beached Thing could VoidOut their city!

Or someone might send them a nuke, not naming names!!

Anyway!!!

It’s really badly written and whoever wrote it should educate themselves and maybe get an ace to re-read their stuff next time??

Again I’m not the right person to talk about acephobia and I bet an actual ace would have plenty more to say about this

Thankfully it’s a memo written in-game by a random Bridges councellor and NOT by any important character that we actually know

"I must preempt myself by admitting that I do not have any empirical data" yeah so, f█ck off maybe

So I’m just gonna call that guy “another piece of shit character” but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that the memo was written by someone who thought it was a good idea to put it in the game

Just let me enjoy my super queer post-apo world in peace and don’t write shit like that in your game thank you and goodbye

Minor stuff I also disliked but it wasn’t as awful

I get that Sam is upset at the end because Lou is dying but the way he said goodbye to Fragile broke my heart. It was abrupt and you KNOW he’s upset and wants to have nothing to do with Bridges anymore and that’s very understandable but it isn’t her fault

Seriously I want them to be friends again

I’m gonna pretend they’re friends again after Lou is saved and that Sam is a freelance porter again and sometimes their paths cross and they just talk together in the middle of nowhere and share cryptobiotes

The pacing is weird, there’s this deluge of plot in the beginning and the end but not much in the middle?

The BT boss fights could have been these epic Shadow of the Colossus showdowns but no, they were relatively standard boss fights. Wasted opportunity

The running on the Beach scene sdfghjhgfdsdfghjhgf that was... dumb

A lot of preppers are interesting in one way or another but some are just boring. Also I wish the design of their bunkers was more varied

Amelie/Bridget’s motivations are all over the place, both creating Bridges AND the Demens is... a lot? I know she both WANTS and DOESN’T want the actual, final end of the world to happen but that is a lot to take in and it’s all very confusing

Who the hell cares about ‘rebuilding America’ I just want to build a network where people can help each other

The ‘likes’ are fun but don’t make much sense

In conclusion

Death Stranding Good

Some stuff Bad

Some stuff Very Bad (but it’s just one memo out of 100+ memos, thank god)

I’m still hyperfixating

Send help

[swaps55]

Sam Shepard

Full Name: Sam Powell Shepard. His middle name is his mother’s maiden name. He hates his middle name (he and his mother are not on very good terms).

Gender and Sexuality: Male, very demi aro/ace. He tried sex with men and women when he was younger out of sheer curiosity, got nothing out of it, and proceeded to basically forget about sex entirely. He’s baffled at the idea of being in a relationship until Kaidan comes along. If you were to ask him about his sexuality he’d get a deer in headlights look and just point at Kaidan, because outside of him Sam has no fucking idea what he’s into.

Pronouns: He/him

Ethnicity/Species: I admit. I haven’t given much thought to where his parents are from, and probably won’t, because part of what makes him fun is that he doesn’t have roots. Earth is very unfamiliar, even alien to him. Oh, and he’s human.

Birthplace and Birthdate: Arcturus Station, April 11, 2154

Guilty Pleasures: The dumber the joke, the funnier he thinks it is. He loves media and entertainment that doesn’t make him think. He does enough thinking in his real life - he wants his escapism to be superficial and fun. He would love the 22nd century equivalent of MST3K.

Phobias: As a spacer, he’s really weirded out by nature. Especially bugs. Especially anything remotely resembling a silverfish. That’s too many fucking legs. Put him in combat armor and he doesn’t even notice bugs, but take him out of the combat armor and he’ll lose it at the sight of a creepy crawly.

After Alchera, he develops a severe phobia of extra vehicular activity. Which he finds frustrating, because he doesn’t remember the explosion. Last thing he remembers is pulling Joker out of his chair.

What They Would Be Famous For: To the general public, being the Savior of the Galaxy. To his crew, he’s famous for making the Galaxy’s Worst Cup of Coffee.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Illegally carrying a firearm, illegally discharging a firearm, assault, breaking and entering, harboring an illegal AI, mutiny, insubordination, making really shitty coffee. The list is…long.

OC You Ship Them With: Just Kaidan.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: I’d love to say one of my ‘Yang marines, but honestly Aslany worships him, Pendergrass facilitates his insanity, and Beaudoin is too easy going to be bothered by whatever batshit thing Sam does next. But Kaidan is always on the verge of murdering him during combat.

When Sam served on the ‘Yang, his team would regularly borrow an M-29 Grizzly that was property of the Madrid, the lead cruiser in the ‘Yang’s flotilla. The chief tech in charge of that Grizzly, a gentleman by the name of Gamba Msipa, hates Sam’s guts.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: There’s a turian buddy cop comedy Garrus showed him that he’s obsessed with. As for books, when he actually has time to read he prefers popcorn fiction that allows him to turn his brain off. But if you tell anyone he’s read Forbidden Ops, Tali’s favorite human romance series, he’ll kill you.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: He doesn’t care much for military movies or books, because he spends so much time picking apart everything they get wrong that he doesn’t enjoy it. Exception: body count movies that do not take themselves seriously.

Talents and/or Powers: He’s one of those bastards who is infuriatingly comfortable in his own skin. He’s also a charismatic motherfucker when he wants to be. He can talk to you like he’s known you his entire life, but it’s a ploy to trick you into getting you to talk about yourself so a) you’re not asking about Sam and b) he can compile a mental dossier on your strengths and weaknesses.

But while he is very good at this, as an extroverted introvert it’s generally not something he can sustain for long periods of time. To get him through it he’s most likely imagining all the different ways he could kill you with whatever is within his line of sight.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He’ll burn down the sky for the people he cares about. If you can get past The Butcher of Torfan, and get past the Commander Shepard mantle, you’ll find a guy who has a thousand-watt grin, is a lot funnier than you’d expect, will consume media he’s not into just because someone he cares about enjoys it, and, provided you’re the cuddling type, is a champion snuggler (spoiler: Kaidan is the cuddling type).

Why Someone Might Hate Them: He does not know how to be still for five fucking seconds, and he has this stare that’s a lot like a directed energy weapon. If you’re in his crosshairs, it’s not something you will enjoy. Even worse is when he looks through you instead of at you, because your very existence is inconsequential. Also, he will never let anyone else drive.  

How They Change: After Torfan, Sam was closed off, defensive, angry, and deadest against getting close with any of his crew. When you’re in a position to send people to their death, he figures it’s better not to know who they are. Problem is, that made him an asshole. His time on the ‘Yang helps him recognize how important to foster trust with your team and have something to fight for. He loosens up a lot by the time he sets foot on the Normandy.

…how he changes after Alchera is a whole other thing.

Why You Love Them: I fucking love Sam. He’s an enigma to everyone around him – pinning down what’s really Sam vs. what’s The Butcher of Torfan and the Savior of the Galaxy is a really complex task – he wears so many different personas based on what’s needed from him at the time. I love how badly he longs to just be Sam, but gives that up to be what others need him to be. Deep down he cares so deeply for the people around him at tremendous cost to himself. I love how important it is that he do what needs to be done without losing his soul. I love how afraid he is of becoming Saren. I love how genuinely funny he is, and how much he likes to laugh. Despite everything he’s been through, there’s a sense of optimism and hope you can’t shake out of him.  

I really love Sam.

[getreadytosmash]

1 || 3 || 4 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 10 || 11 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16 || 23 || 26 ][Mental Health Headcanons for Jen][

@blind-mutant

Has your muse been diagnosed with any mental health conditions? If so, what and when were they diagnosed?

Jen hasn't been diagnosed with anything but she definitely suffered suicidal anxiety that still comes about when she's distressed as well as depression.

Has your muse experienced any trauma in their life?

H O definitely! Basically had to watch Bruce get abused, suffered second hand verbal abuse from Brian Banner, got shot and turned into She-hulk, so many fights and watching her cousin and family get hurt or killed, being manipulated herself so many times and even dying...lemme set up a spin board and I'll give you a dart buddy.

Has your muse ever had an anxiety or panic attack?

Yeah, Jen's hulk outs are actually pushed on by fear so they tend to be quite severe when she experiences them. She's only had them when Wanda manipulated her and when Burce died.

What is the longest your muse has gone without sleep?

A week and a half for when she was in law school and studying constantly.

Talk about your muse’s appetite and how it changes with mental health.

Jen's someone who tended to forget to eat already when she was busy working, so it falls to a lot of unhealthy eating of takeaways and snacks since she needs a high intake of calories daily. In higher stress situations, Jen tends to skip meals more and more until she mainly eats something like a granola bar every other day until her health has shifted or until someone intervenes.

Does your muse ever feel fidgety or restless? How often?

She mostly does if she hasn't gotten into a fight lately and this usally appears when she's in bed and can't sleep.

Does your muse have any phobias?

She has a fear of the cold but on a deeper scale Jen has a terror of death and losing/being left behind people she loves as well as being manipulated.

Has your muse experienced mania or hypomania (abnormally elevated arousal, affect, and energy level)?

Yup, Jen had a rather elevated level of arousal and energy as she became She-hulk and it heightens if she doesn't transform for long periods of time.

Has your muse ever experienced dissociation from their surroundings?

Yeah, usually when she's about to have a rather serious Hulk out. Jen usually deals with these by watching baking videos.

Does your muse tend to turn their anger and negativity inward or outward?

Jen presses it inwards if it's a rather serious anger until it just ends up exploding outwards. A hulk trait.

What does your muse feel most guilty about?

She feels guilty about letting down her cousin, about not being able to help people to the full extent. Jen tends to put a lot on her shoulders, even when she knows it may be a lost cause.

Does your muse experience obsessions or compulsions?

Not exactly, but Jen does have some form of compulsion to be She-hulk. Whether or not this is simply a desire or an actual need is yet to be found out.

What are your muse’s coping mechanisms? Are they healthy?

Not really, she watches cooking shows, which...isn't exactly a BAD way to calm down, but it's the fact thya Jen only watches cooking shows and tends to have very violent reactions while watching that makes it unhealthy. She lashes out at her surroundings when no one is around (aka a habit we share) such as punching an elevator wall.

Name a time your muse has felt proud of themselves and their accomplishments.

Jen felt proud when she first ever got hired and she definitely felt proud the first time she walked into a courtroom hulked up, in a lovely suit and with her head held high after facing hell and walking out.

[sofiacardenas]

(CIERRA RAMIREZ, CIS FEMALE) - Have you seen SOFIA DE CARDENAS? SOFI is in HER SOPHOMORE year. The FILM AND MEDIA MAJOR is 20 years old & is a PISCES. People say SHE is INTELLIGENT, STUDIOUS, NAIVE and CLOSED-OFF. Rumors say they’re a member of WINTHROP SOCIETY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE USED TO BE A FEMALE ESCORT. 

Hi hey hello! I’m violet, I’m 22 and I never fucking learned how to read :-)

TW: death, escorting(?), depression, mental illness

Sofia de Cardenas grew up in a family of four, including her parents and twin brother. She gets along well with all of them but is closest to her brother. 

They were always living paycheck to paycheck. Her dad is an english teacher at a local high school where she was raised, and her mom works at a nail salon. Both careers were hardly enough to support them as a whole through her teenage years. It goes without saying that she learned how to live without money. 

When Sofia turned 18, she started escorting. It began as something that was supposed to be a one-off, but once she was paid for her time at the end of the night it became her own secret side hustle. She justified the work in her head because the extra flow of cash was helping relieve her family of their debts. 

She stopped once she turned 19 as she started to run out of excuses about how she was earning the money to her family. None of them are aware of her secret because Sofia thinks they’ll be ashamed of her.

That being said, Sofia is at Yates on a full ride scholarship.

It didn’t occur to her whilst it was happening, but during her year of escorting she managed to get blackmail-worthy dirt on every person she worked for. All she has to do is say jump and they’ll have to ask how high?

Her dad piqued her interest in films and media. All of her knowledge on  camerawork is thanks to him. 

Absolute theatre nerd. Will go off on tangents. 

Loves a party as much as she loves a good book. Get you a girl that can do both.

Would much rather be behind the camera than in front of it.

Sofia isn’t good at making friends due to her reserved demeanor. She’s even worse at letting people in romantically, so this girl’s love life is one long horror movie.

She’s only been in one real relationship, with a girl from high school that lasted for several years. Sofia thought she’d found the one, which wouldn’t have been entirely untrue... until the terrible night she lost her in a motorcycle accident on the freeway.

Hasn’t been in a relationship since then and has a huge phobia of commitment because of it.

Diagnosed situational depression after her girlfriend’s death

Bisexual baby with a preference for girls. ngl she’s just gay

Huge flirt, all women are her type. or is that me bye???

Sofia can very much be a bitch when she needs to be, but can also be just as kind and down to earth when she feels like that person has earned her respect.

Has a definitive collection of vans. It’s an actual problem and someone needs to set up an intervention for her.

Her most toxic trait is that she will trade 8 hours of sleep for 2 cups of coffee in order to finish an assignment. Rest? We don’t know her.

Definitely needs therapy.

Wanted connections:

Best friend - someone who knows her better than she knows herself (maybe also knows about her first gf and how she died and how that affects her ability to commit), someone to swap clothes and shoes with and share a bed with. Platonic soulmates!

Enemy - gimme a Calloway for her to scrap with pls

Frenemy - they bicker/banter until they’re blue in the face. Behind closed doors they’ll actually stick up for each other and like, secretly have an underlying respect for each other that they’ll never admit out loud

Love interest - this will actually be an ENTIRE mess bc of her commitment issues but if you like a slow burn then hmu (preferably female but open to male)

Do it for the vine - two dumbasses in a pod. When they’re together people think they’re on crack but unfortunately it’s just their personalities lmaooo

Study buddy - someone who will also trade 8 hours of sleep for 2 cups of coffee and can handle how intensely Sofia studies

Hype me up - girls supporting girls! Give me all the girl love and friendships pls

and I’m pretty much open to anything else so react to this and I’ll slide into ur messages for plots!

[theyearoftheking]

Book Seventeen: Skeleton Crew

“Don’t go out there... it’s death to go out there...” 

Coming off the high that was Different Seasons, and the low that was Night Shift, I wasn’t really sure what to expect with Skeleton Crew. I wasn’t super pumped to pick it up, but, it’s not like I have a lot else to do right now... I voluntarily cleaned my windows this week, and am fighting the urge to clean my baseboards. Someone send help. Or a burger and ten-cent martini from Don’s Diner. Either would be acceptable. 

But hey! Skeleton Crew was fun! There were a couple of stories that made me want to throw up in my mouth (Survivor Type, I’m looking at you!); but there were some really, really well done stories as well. 

I know I’ve harped on this before, so feel free to skim right past. But this collection was compiled in 1985, and several of these stories are timeless. You could read them, and assume they were written a few years ago. Their subjects (mass hysteria, school shootings, paranoia) are still important. Personally, I think that’s the mark of an excellent writer: timeless material. Even if Steve does comment that, “...a particularly good disease I have- literary elephantiasis”.

It’s cool, I’m here for it. 

The collection kicks off with The Mist; which is a novella about a deadly mist surrounding a town in western Maine, and a group of people trapped inside a grocery store, and unable to get out. 

Well, they can get out, but there’s a good chance they’re going to be killed by a large tentacled beast, or spider webs sharp enough to amputate limbs. 

Yeah.

Exactly what I want to be reading right now.

There’s a reason I’ve embraced Amazon’s Whole Foods grocery delivery these days... and no, that reason is not because I’m a boujee bitch... it’s because I hate people. 

Speaking of hating people, Steve makes a reference to the Flat-Earth Society. I was shook. I assumed Flat-Earthers were a relatively new phenomenon. But after a little research, I discovered the society started back in 1956. So stupid has been around a long time. If you’re bored during quarantine, I highly recommend the hilarious documentary, Behind the Curve. 

The Jaunt is a quasi-post-apocalyptic novel about the need for people to travel to Mars for clean water. Between 1960 and 2030, Earth poisoned most of its water, and needed to find the precious resource on other planets. Again... too much reality, too close to home. But the end of this little story is terrifying. 

So, then we get to The Wedding, a mobster story set in Illinois. This is the moment I push my glasses up, adjust my cardigan, and speak like the Midwestern expert I most certainly am (not). First of all Steve, there is no Moxie soda to be found in Illinois. It’s strictly an east coast thing. Second, a character wonders, “I don’t know what a member of the U.S. Navy was doing in Illinois...” Steve, Buddy, hi. Soooo, there’s this place, called Great Lakes Naval Base? It’s in Northern Illinois? It’s been there since 1906? It could explain why you see a TON of sailors walking around Illinois in the summer. I have been known to refer to the ones at Six Flags Great America, eating cotton candy as, “sticky seamen...” because mentally I’m a twelve year old boy. 

There’s a particularly good story, aptly titled The Man Who Would Not Shake Hands. It might be the most hilariously relatable (but not really) story in the whole collection. “I have known men whose horror of germs and disease stretched that far and even further... and so may may of you...” Love in the time of Coronavirus, am I right??

Survivor Type. My post-it note simply reads, “Baaaaaarf!” But Steve did consult with an actual doctor on this one, so I’ll at least give him credit for that. I’m not going to spoil this one, I’ll let you go in cold. 

Morning Deliveries (Milkman #1). Steve... I give you credit for a lot of things, and a lot of fears you’ve created. Let’s face it: clown-phobia wasn’t a thing until you made it a thing. Right now, there are few things in life that give me joy. But getting food delivered is one of those joys. It makes my life feel normal, and I like to order a pizza and watch The Masked Singer with my family every Wednesday. Please don’t take that away from me with spooky stories about delivery people. My fragile psyche can’t handle it right now. 

I think of the entire collection, The Ballad of the Flexible Bullet was my favorite. The theme of spreading paranoia is all too real right now. And I’m working my ass off not to buy into it. So, of course a short story about it is exactly what I should be reading! But seriously y’all, it’s good shit. 

This entire collection is such a masterful mix of gross-out horror, and finely-taut psychological horror. And to think, each story started with Steve thinking to himself, “Wouldn’t it be funny if...” This man has jokes for days, kids. 

There were no Wisconsin references (disappointing since one of the stories was set in Illinois). There were two Dark Tower references I caught, both in The Mist, “She had a can of Raid in each hand like some crazy gunslinger in an existential comedy...” and “It appeared to be red, the angry color of a cooked lobster. It had claws. It was making a low grunting sound...” Lobstrosities, yo! 

But there were also several Cujo mentions. Let me tell you... the town of Castle Rock has not forgotten about Joe Camber or his dog. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 14

Total Dark Tower References: 12

Book Grade: B+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Different Seasons: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Christine: D

Next up is The Bachman Books. I’m not sure yet if I’m going to give them each their own post, or lump them together into one. Stay tuned. And stay safe. And distanced. And wash your hands. 

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights, 

Rebecca

[brutaliabingo]

Prompts

Comic:

Son of the Demon, Khadym, Damian, Nanda Parbat, Selina, death and the maiden, Ra’s, Lexcorp CEO, Jason’s resurrection, daughter of the demon, the demon’s heir, Athanasia, the League of Shadows, the Batman, baby Damian, Injustice 2, miscarriage, Lil Gotham, bride of the demon.

AU:

Ra’s successor, raising Damian together, the Bat’s bride, The Addams Family, childhood friends, the Grandmaster (The Court of Owls) and the League, actors, adventures/explorers, artist/muse, bakery, ballet/dancers, band, boarding school, bookstore, bounty-hunters, brothel, canon divergence, captivity, careers, circus, coffee shop, con artists, cop/detective/fbi, criminals, crossover, deserted island, dom/sub, dystopia, elizabethan, fairies, fairy tale, gender-bending, ghosts/haunting, harlequin, high fantasy, high school, historical, lord and vassal, magical powers, musicians, noir, pirates, political, prison, professors, prostitution, regency, robots, rom com, sailors, serial killers, soulmates, space, spies/secret agents, steampunk, teacher/student, thief, urban fantasy, vampires, victorian, wereanimals, werewolves, western.

GENERAL TROPES:

accidental baby acquisition, accidental hero, accidental injury (physical or emotional), against all odds, age difference, amnesia, balcony scene, bedtime story, betrothed, birthdays, body swap, boxing, chance to say goodbye, character backstory, child soldiers, childhood friends, coming of age, cuddling, dancing, day in the life, de-aged, death, did i say that out loud, didn’t realise they were dating, domestic, doppelganger, dream sharing, drunk/drugged, episode tag/missing scene, epistolary, fake relationship, fell off the face of the earth, first kiss, first meeting, five times fic, fix it, fixer upper, flashback, forced to marry, found family, gender swap, going on vacation together, good luck charm, headaches, heartbroken, hiding an injury/illness, holidays, huddling for warmth, hurt/comfort, i never meant to hurt you, i’m with you till the end, in another’s shoes, jealousy, just one night, kidfic, kidnapping, kiss me, last chance, major illness, meet the parents/family, minor injuries, mirrors/doubles, miscommunication, missing person, mistletoe, misunderstanding, multiverse, nightmares, oblivious, occupational hazard, old married couple, one night stand, phobias, pining, please don’t let me go, pregnancy, reincarnation, rescue, restart my heart, reunion, road trip, role reversal, scars, secret admirer, secrets, separation, sever all ties, sharing a bed, shaving, sick day, snowed in, speechless, spill the beans, time travel (to the future), time travel (to the past), truth drug/spell, waking up married, wearing each other’s clothes, whump, without fear.

KINKS:

Aftercare, anal sex, anonymity, aphrodisiacs, authority kink, bareback, bath sex, bdsm, bed breaking, begging, biting/bite marks, body worship, boxing ring sex, breath play, bruising, candles, caning, cock rings, collars, coming untouched, decadence, deep throating, despoilment, dirty talk, double penetration, edging, exhibitionism, face sitting, feathers, fingering, first time, fishnets, fisting, flexibility, food, frottage, fuck or die, fuck buddies, furs, gags, grinding, hair pulling, hand job, hand holding, held down, hickeys, humiliation, intercrural, jealously, kama surta, loss of virginity, masturbation, messy/dirty, mirrors, nipple play, obedience, objectification, office sex, oral fixation, oral sex, orgasm denial, orgy, over stimulation, pain play, panties/underwear, pegging/strap on, penance/punishment, phone sex, possession/marking, praise kink, public sex, rimming, roleplay, rough sex, seduction, sensation play, sex toys, sexting, spanking, stripping, teasing, torture/interrogation, touch starved, uniforms/military kink, vaginal sex, velvet, wall sex, washing/bathing, wax, whips and chains, writing on the body.

[back-and-totheleft]

The Buddies

Perhaps the most critical audience for Platoon, Oliver Stone’s Oscar-winning movie about the Vietnam war, are the men he served with from 1967-68. Stone was actually in several platoons, and since the film’s release, he has received hundreds of letters from veterans, some of whom he shared a foxhole with at one time or another. Like a lot of Vietnam veterans, many of these infantrymen came home with serious psychological problems, and almost all felt unappreciated by the U.S. public. Some still have not managed to put their lives back together. Last week in Chicago, six of Stone’s buddies gathered for a reunion....On the following pages, ten of Stone’s comrades in arms reflect on the moviemaker, his film and the war that brought them together.

Fighting next to Oliver Stone one day, Jimmie Danna said, “I’m the best actor in the world. It’s impossible for you to get any scareder than me, but I will not let you see me scared. That’s the reason I’m surviving.” Indeed survival was everything, according to Danna, who served three tours of duty in Vietnam, the second with Stone. “Me and Oliver were in a situation where it was keeping each other alive,” says Danna. “It was like, ‘I’ll take care of your back; you take care of mine.’ We shared everything—women, food, drugs, animosity, fear, whatever.” 

Ben Fitzgerald, 44, considers the 13 months he spent in Vietnam as “the worst experience of my life.” He blames his divorce on the trouble he had adjusting to life back in the States. “I was drinking, gambling and having a hard time dealing with people,” he says, “and my wife couldn’t understand.” A die cast operator in Humboldt, Tenn., Fitzgerald describes Stone as “a friendly-type person. I introduced him to soul music and marijuana. We shared a lot of hours and a lot of fear.” [...] Fitzgerald thinks Stone enlisted because he “just wanted to see what the war was all about. I don’t think he really had to be there, but he made the best of the situation. He told me that what he really wanted to do was be in the movies. He wrote a poem about the places he had been, and it amazed me because it was a great poem. After the war I really expected him to come up in the movies.” The father of two boys, Fitzgerald liked Platoon but doesn’t want his 69-year-old mother or 70-year-old father to see it. “I don’t think they could take it,” he says, “because they didn’t have any idea of what I was going though. But I want my sons to see the movie so they’ll know that something like this shouldn’t happen again.”

Michael Blodgett, 39, remembers walking point with Stone when the future filmmaker was attacked by spiders. “I saw the spiders fall down his shirt,” says Blodgett. “I saw his shirt pulsating in and out, and he was pounding on it like Tarzan. From that time on, he had a phobia about spiders.” [...] Blodgett calls Stone a “gentle giant” who didn’t really belong in Vietnam because he “didn’t have the killer instinct.” Blodgett remembers that Stone’s well-to-do upbringing would often show in curious ways. “Oliver knew how to operate a P-38, which was an Army can opener. But one day I gave him a regular can opener to open C rations because it was faster. Oliver had it upside down. I laughed and said, ‘Can’t you open a can?’ And he answered, ‘I’ve never opened a can in my life. The maids do that.’ ” 

In the movie, Charlie Sheen writes to his grandmother and describes the guys in his platoon, complete with their hometowns. One of those is Pulaski, Tenn., and it’s the real-life home of Crutcher Patterson, 39, who spent 12 months in Vietnam and says that even though Stone was not “the everyday type of fellow,” he and Oliver became “good buddies.” In 1984 the filmmaker visited Patterson to discuss the battle that would later become the climactic scene in the movie. “He asked me how we were positioned,” says Patterson. “He got wounded, and that ended us being together.” [...] The movie, says Patterson, “is all right with me. We tried to take care of one another; we tried to survive. We didn’t abuse the children. They were our trading partners. The kids sold us marijuana. They were trying to survive too.” 

Jack Pelletier, 38, feels Platoon is historically inaccurate. “The real war,” he says, “was much, much worse.” Still, he continues, “I thought the movie was great. My friends ask me, ‘Was the jungle that thick?’ ‘No,’ I tell them, ‘it was thicker.’ Most of the time you couldn’t walk; you had to crawl to get through. The movie showed one leech on a guy’s cheek. Well, hell, there were a million leeches. They were all over the place.” [...] Pelletier’s memory of Stone is somewhat vague. “He was the guy who slept in the first bunk on the left. He was sort of a loner. He didn’t go to none of the parties or drink in the PX. But you know,” adds Pelletier softly, “you get to know guys real well, then two days later, they ship them home in a bag. That was hard, so I didn’t get too close to nobody.”

Dick Ware, 37, lives in Superior, Wis. and builds bridges for the Burlington-Northern Railroad. He says he and Stone were “foxhole buddies. He was a good soldier. He did his job. You couldn’t say that about everyone. He had proven himself. For a city boy, he was pretty good in the jungle.” [...] “It took me six or seven years, and I still don’t know if I’ve got it all together,” he says. “I’ve got a nice wife and two lovely kids, but I still have dreams and think about Vietnam a lot. You don’t go through something like that and not have it on your mind.” 

Jim Pappert, of Affton, Mo., has seen Platoon twice, and although he served for six months with Stone, he disagrees with some of what he saw in the film. “The movie didn’t show enough of our people being maimed and killed,” says Pappert, 38....Even good guys can get caught up in the heat of battle, and Pappert says he saw it happen. “We swept a lot of villages and searched them,” he remembers, “and there were a lot of men who couldn’t wait to get in there and beat somebody’s head off. The expression on Charlie Sheen’s face in the movie was like my expression the first time we went through a village and I saw the brutality of the Americans toward the villagers. But when you experienced the death of your own men, you didn’t give a damn about them anymore; you had no feelings for the Vietnamese.” 

Andre Fontenelle, 41, arrived in Vietnam the same month as Stone and remembers the filmmaker as “a quiet person who kept to himself.” Fontenelle feels Stone’s movie rings true, especially the scene in which a patrol is ambushed because someone falls asleep on watch. “It seemed like somebody would always fall asleep on guard,” he remembers. “It would be getting light out, and it seemed the whole damn squad would be snoring.” Now a grandfather, Fontenelle works at the post office in Aberdeen. A Vietnam veterans organization was recently started nearby, and he says he’s going to join. “I hope the government learns from its mistakes over there,” he says. “We lost more than 55,000 men. They’ve been dead for 20 years. They should be here like me—raising a family, waiting for grandchildren. To me, they were just wasted.”

Of all the Vietnam films Monte Newcombe has seen, he thinks Platoon is the most realistic. “It showed the waste, corruption, filth, napalm, blood and guts, the destruction and absolute craziness of that war....There’s a lot I can’t remember,” says Newcombe, now 40. “There’s a lot I don’t think about.” One thing he does recall is the incredible resolve of the Vietnamese people. “Here we were in their homeland,” says Newcombe, “destroying their lives and villages. I could relate to that. I knew how I would feel if they came to Oklahoma and burned down my house.” An afternoon spent reminiscing about what Newcombe describes as “the most frightening time of my life” takes its emotional toll on Monte. Tears well up in his eyes as he says, “I never wanted to kill anybody. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.” The dining room is quiet. The only sounds that can be heard are the muffled shouts of Newcombe’s small sons, playing with their toy guns in the front yard.

-"Oliver Stone's Platoon Buddies Recall the War 20 Years Later," People magazine, May 11 1987 [x]

[caithyra]

Vampire Game Reviews Part 1

This Halloween I sat down and played a bunch of vampire themed games and decided to review them. First up, Vampire Legends: The True Story of Kisilova, Dracula: Origin and Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines. I might get around to Vampire the Masquerade: Redemption and Dracula: Love Kills in a later post.

I use my own 5-scale gradation in this:

0: Either I couldn’t force myself to finish it, or I was more relieved it was over than anything else. 1: I had no fun, but there might have been something fun in there… maybe…? 2: More bad than good. 3: About evenly good and bad. I actually start having more fun than not. 4: A solid entertainment piece. Has it’s blemishes, but despite that I like it. 5: Almost perfect (perfection is a myth). I had lots of fun and am satisfied.

(Semi-minor spoilers below. Unless you’ve gone quite far into the games, you likely wont suss out what’s happening until it’s happening.)

Vampire Legends: The True Story of Kisilova: You’re an investigator for the Hapsburg Empire going to the small town of Kisilova, recently beset by a killer leaving bloodless victims behind them. Rumors of vampires abound. After a series of mishaps the rumors do not feel so farfetched. Especially not when a mysterious, young woman enters the picture.

(Left: The Beginning of the Adventure with our buddy and hint machine. Right: The first of many, many hidden objects screens in this game.)

Okay, it is a point-and-click visual novel adventure thing that’s really short (less than 5 hours, and I think I left the game — and the clock — running for a while at some point), and also cheap. It was enjoyable enough, the music was forgettable but good enough, the graphics nice and atmospheric enough and the story was short and serviceable. The problems mainly came through the game-play; this game relied faaar too heavily on hidden object minigames, and those were unskippable, while all others were skippable after a short while. Fortunately, your partner can give hints to speed things along. As for my final decision in the winter-themed bonus chapter? Well, it was Halloween so I thought “why not?” and that was that for Europe. I always try to pick the most supernatural decision whenever I can lol (see Squirrel Elves in the Witcher franchise, or picking spell-sneaking classes in the Elder Scrolls).

My biggest problem with this game, however, is that I need to resize the resolution on my ultrawide monitor to play it without horizontal stretching distorting the art. The Options menu is seriously lacking in Options (actually, that whole menu is a mess that looks more at home in a Free-to-Play mobile game).

All in all, I generally liked it and its short nature meant that except for the hidden objects minigame, most of it didn’t outstay its welcome and it was really cheap (less than 4€ when I bought it, which is about the right price IMO. I think regular price is something like 9.99€?) so worth it. 3/5.

Dracula: Origin: You are Van Helsing. Yeah. That guy. And you have a missing friend, Harker, who had something to do with Dracula, and you have a pretty friend named Mina who ends up targeted by Dracula and now you must rush across the Old World to save her from a curse.

(Left: Yup, same dev as the Sherlock Holmes games. Middle: Vampires don’t like garlic breath. Right: Dammit Mina, I gave you ONE job. One. Job. All of this slow walking could have been avoided!)

Ah. Frogware. I generally like their Sherlock Holmes games, but this game… It felt more like a waste of my time. Oh, I’m sure there is a good game in there that isn’t a waste of time. Unfortunately, it is hidden behind the biggest time-sinks in the game: Van Helsing walks at half the speed of a normal person at all times and speaks really slowly, in conversations that has no branches, yet they will periodically be interrupted so that you can click on the next topic in the list (that wont reveal the next topic until you’ve listened to the topic listed before it). There’s this scene during a cave in when he says something like “quickly, we must make haste to escape!” and then you click on the exit and he waaaaaaaaalks slooooooooooooowlyyyyyy through it. It certainly doesn’t help that he must cross the entire span of the screen and backtrack locations many times and… AGH! RUN YOU FOOL!!

And, well, Frogware adventure game with its strange clues and non-clues and objects. There’s this bit in the first outdoor area when you have to capture some flies. Now, if you have followed the story logically, you will have a jar and a lid in your inventory. Easy, peasy, just click the flies with the jar, right? Nope. You must find a mourning veil hidden in the cemetery (that is large and that Van Helsing waaaaalks sloooooowlyyyyy through), use it on the flies and then combine the fly-ridden veil with the jar to get a jar of flies (I wont say what for because of spoilers, but, well, I don’t recommend eating during the Cemetery/Mansion part of the story if you have a phobia against bugs). There are also several objects that are basically five pixels on the screen because of the angle we’re viewing them at that we must find to pick up, and on the whole, I had more frustrations than fun with this story. Like, there’s even this puzzle minigame with a picture of Minos, the Labyrinth and the Minotaur and you find thread/string in the same house and wouldn’t you know it! The thread/string has nothing to do with the minigame and the minigame has nothing to do with the legend of the Minotaur!

On top of that, well, lets just say that the Egyptian section has quite a bit of stereotyping (think Victorian stereotypes of Egypt and its people in a modern game. Also, potential racism against white people must be prevented at all costs, including lying to a bereaved family), and when we run into our first, unliving female vampire she of course wears a top made of strips of cloth and a sheer skirt (you’d think a rich vampire’s favorite mistress would own a nice dress at least, but nope), and every woman (including dead of non-vampiric variety) have their beauty commented upon (and, of course, a young, pretty girl’s defilement/death is a tragedy, which is why it is so important to include that she was pretty).

And, well, this game markets itself heavily with Dracula at the forefront, not Van Helsing, yet while Dracula is the main antagonist, he only has a few, brief scenes, which were disappointing. All in all it was a 1/5.

Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines: You are a fledgling of one of the Camarilla clans, recently thrust into the secret world hidden by darkness, and more specifically into one of the most fucked cities of the World of Darkness. After your illicit embrace into the undead by your executed sire, the Prince of the City has graciously offered to adopt you, provided you prove yourself worthy to the exacting clan of rulers. Except the prince’s domain is built on quicksand, and this is Los Angeles; the birthplace of the modern Anarchs, and one of the domains of the Kindred of the East, on top of the eternal, political dance all Kindred must dance, and you, baby vampire as you are, have no allies and no clue as how to proceed except to survive.

(Left: Told ya Velvet is a mascot in this game. Middle: Did you know that Mercurio was meant to handle the Voerman sisters and we wouldn’t have to go through sewers and a haunted hotel if he did his job? Right: Apparently the Chinese are masters of Japanese swords and the Ventrue need no neckbones...)

Here’s the thing about VtM:B: It is a very enjoyable game and definitely the definite vampire game out there. It also has no story for your character. “What about the Ankaran Sarcophagus?”, well, your character participates, but it does nothing to answer the questions we are immediately confronted with in the opening of the game: Why would our unknown sire, an upstanding member of Kindred society, break one of the Traditions (pretty much laws set in stone for all Kindred over the entire world) to embrace us? Why would the prince, whose sole job is to uphold the Traditions, then break one of the Traditions and allow the ill-begotten progeny live?

Except for the opening of the game, we never hear from our sire again, nor the questions raised during the opening. And that makes our player character a bit superfluous when any random neonate could serve just as well.

So if not story-telling, what does VtM:B do that makes people sing its praises? In short? Characters and the World. It is incredibly atmospheric and while characters don’t develop (vampires are static by nature in this world, and most characters in the game are entrenched in their places and wont be shaken by some random baby vampire showing up), they are all very distinct and written in different tones. However, if you’re not role-playing as an ignorant fledgling, but meta-playing with some Vampire the Masquerade lore known, you will feel extremely railroaded (if your character had any inkling of who Smiling Jack is in the World of Darkness, they would never believe his coarse but kind uncle-figure thing he’s got going on. Because even before a certain hugely Biblical spoiler got involved, Jack was an imposer, liar, manipulator and mass-murderer who has sired many, many thin-blooded vampires and abandoned them to their fates. There’s a reason why only ignorant neonates like Nines’ gang admires and likes him. What I just said is not a spoiler for the game, btw, because it never comes up because your character is an ignorant fledgling being manipulated and deceived by literally everyone. Maybe Velvet and Bertram don’t, but Velvet might seem so sweet when she convinces you to be her knight because of Presence and acting, and Bertram is a Nossie and they have major secrets within secrets).

And while it is easy to sink into the world of the game and roleplay, thus mitigating the railroading feeling above. This game was clearly written with an audience of White Male Teens in mind. We have Velvet (of the fashion-conscious Toreador clan) show up at the prince’s court in Elysium in only a lacy basque, g-string and thigh high fishnets, tall heels and not as much as a peignoir thrown on top. Yeah, she attends an important society function in her fetish underwear. Then we have the explicit sex life of game cover-girl Jeanette (yeah, the one dressed like a dilapidated school girl), and those two are THE female mascots of the game.

The less said about the Orientalism and the Kindred of the East the better, but that segues into how around the time you reach Chinatown, the game starts losing its luster and strengths. Okay, so if you’re sensitive to that kinda thing, you might notice it a little bit in Hollywood, but by the time Chinatown rolls around, you might notice how it is less immersive and how it starts to feel more and more gamey (specifically, Action gamey), and you get less options that isn’t some variant of “kill it”.

On top of that the game has technical issues if you do not use the fan-made patch (I always use Patch Plus, which restores cut content and quests, as well as ReShade for better anti-aliasing and sharpness), and it still has a few cropping up from time to time. At least it works perfectly well in ultrawide resolutions?

Still it has that charm, and despite its flaws and how I can think of a dozen complaints at the drop of a dime, I still love playing it. So it’s a 4/5 from me.

[misunderstanders]

Idk if you wanna still do that oc thing but Bailey Walter and Ilya!!

Thank you! And, fun fact – you asked about three of the four polyamorous characters on that list. Congration.

Full Name: Bailey Van PattenGender and Sexuality: Transgender Man. Intersex. Bisexual, polyamorous.Pronouns: He/HimEthnicity/Species: American, roots in Dutch, German, Irish, and a handful of other ancestries. Human (technically a human with mutations since his family’s been on the post-apocalyptic surface for a long time, but w/e).Birthplace and Birthdate: Boston, Massachusetts, Diamond City, specifically. May 28, 2252.Guilty Pleasures: Binge drinking, buffout, psychobuff, and literally running away from his problems. Phobias: Deathclaws, deathclaw gauntlets. Probably some other stuff.What They Would Be Famous For: Best garden in the Capital Wasteland. Or, that one time he tried to fight a deathclaw with his best buddy when they were like, 10.What They Would Get Arrested For: Murder. OC You Ship Them With: Uhhh Laural, obviously.OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Could be anyone who was pissed off at him, but let’s go with Kings.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Nonfiction books about plants. Cookbooks.Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Cliffhangers.Talents and/or Powers: He’s a decent sniper, and is good with plants. Also can cook.Why Someone Might Love Them: He has no idea. He’s a thoughtful guy, though.Why Someone Might Hate Them: He gets angry very easily and will try to beat people up over basically nothing. Also very flighty.How They Change: Learns how to keep his anger from controlling him. Hopefully learns to love himself a little bit.Why You Love Them: That face he makes when he sees a peppermint plant.

—

Full Name: Walter ClaybourneGender and Sexuality: Transgender man. Pansexual, polyamorous.Pronouns: He/himEthnicity/Species: Mixed ethnicity, human. Honestly, I’m not sure what to put for ethnicity in the Stardew Valley setting.Birthplace and Birthdate: Zuzu City, Ferngill Republic. Winter 9th (January 9th). Years are weird, idk.Guilty Pleasures: Reading celebrity gossip magazines in line at the market. Eating entire boxes of cookies by himself. Later on, getting drunk with Shane, eating frozen pizzas. Phobias: Ghosts, other supernatural things. Clowns.What They Would Be Famous For: His farm’s terrific coffee, wines, and preserves. What They Would Get Arrested For: Actually has been arrested for, found guilty of, and imprisoned for manslaughter. OC You Ship Them With: Uhhh I don’t have an OC I ship him with. He courts a few townsfolk and ultimately marries Shane in his Stardew Valley canon run. OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Probably Cirrus, by accident. Probably by scaring him to death.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Sci-fi!Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Deus ex machina. Talents and/or Powers: He’s a ghost magnet, and can see ghosts, spirits, and whatnot that other people typically cannot. Why Someone Might Love Them: He’s an adorable nerd, and gives gifts to everyone he meets. Why Someone Might Hate Them: He’s a bit of a stereotypical hipster, and he’s a sniveling coward.How They Change: Goes from being a poor asshole down on his luck to running an incredibly successful farming operation. He learns to appreciate the world and people around him too, I guess.Why You Love Them: Because he’s a genuinely kindhearted fellow who is also an absolute mess.

—-

Full Name: Ilya MorhavenGender and Sexuality: Nonbinary. Pansexual, polyamorous.Pronouns: They/them, though he/him and she/her are also okay from the right people.Ethnicity/Species: Human. Again, setting makes ethnicity tricky. They even have several different AUs where the settings are different, soooo.Birthplace and Birthdate: A small town near the city-state of Morhaven. Birthdate is uncertain, but it was sometime in the Spring.Guilty Pleasures: Singing badly whether they have passengers in their carriage or not. Days where they only get out of bed to feed the horses. Eavesdropping. Dick jokes.Phobias: Heights. Probably mist, now.What They Would Be Famous For: Will probably never be famous for anything.What They Would Get Arrested For: Speeding or vandalism.OC You Ship Them With: Unsurprisingly, I ship them with an ex partner that they’re likely better off without.OC Most Likely To Murder Them: @kornflower‘s Mor.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Romance, hands-down.Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: They sort of love most of the cliches they’ve run into, but people losing their personalities once they become The Spouse or The Parent kind of bothers them.Talents and/or Powers: Proficient in several skills such as Animal Handling and Land Vehicles. Also dabbles in calligraphy, but never does anything meaningful with it. You know those videos where someone will write “Ass” in the most beautiful script you’ve ever seen? Yeah. That.Why Someone Might Love Them: Empathetic, knowledgeable and passionate about horses, snappy dresser. Tells good stories after a few drinks.Why Someone Might Hate Them: They’re naive as fuck and cry easily.How They Change: Depends on the universe. In the current D&D campaign where they’re an NPC, they’re becoming more competent and confident in a dangerous situation. It’ll be pretty cool if they live long enough to really Do something with this newfound adventuring skill.Why You Love Them: They’re my poor horse-loving baby who has never done anything wrong in their life (aside from the theft and vandalism, truancy, and all of those other childhood and teenage things). 

[the-communist-ted-cruz]

1 through 155

1: Full name.Comrade Ted Rafael Edward Lenin Cruz2: Zodiac sign.Hammer and Sickle3: 3 fears.no fears lol4: 3 things I love.•communism•revolution •red5: 4 turn on’s.Seizing the means6: 4 turn off’s.Capitalism7:My best friend?My buddy, Trotsky8:Sexual orientation?Commo-sexual9:My best first date?yeah10:How tall am I?huge11:What do I miss?Lenin12:What time was I born?28th of December, 192213:Favorite color?Red and Yellow14:Do I have a crush?Maybe (here's a hint: Marx)15:Favorite quote?“lol communism great”-Lenin16:Favorite place?Glorious Soviet Union17:Favorite food?Food? does not compute18:Do I use sarcasm?perhaps19:What am I listening to right now?Soviet Union Anthem20:First thing I notice in new person?whether or not they are bourgeoisie 21:Shoe size?shoe?22:Eye color?red23:Hair color?Red 24: Favorite style of clothing?Soviet25:Ever done a prank call?that's punishable by Gulag26:What color of underwear I’m wearing now?red27:Meaning behind my URL?it's who I am, mom28:Favorite movie?Communism (the sequel)29:Favorite song?Soviet Union Anthem 30:Favorite band?Red Choir31:How I feel right now?Strong32:Someone I love.Marx33:My current relationship status.Seizing the means brb34:My relationship with my parentsThey did not support communism but no matter. They are gone now.35:Favorite holiday.Birth of Soviet Union36:Tattoos and piercing I have.Hammer and Sickle37:Tattoos and piercing I want.More38:The reason I joined Tumblr.To seize the posts of production 39:Do I and my last ex hate each other?my ex isn't a communist anymore and also dead so :/40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts?From the State41:Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?I have never kissed the State, no42:When did I last hold hands?with Lenin43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?I am always ready. for communism 44:Have I shaved my legs in the past three days? The razors belong to the State45: Where am I right now?Soviet Union, as is everybody?46:If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?The State47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Союз нерушимый республик свободных48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad?They were sent to Gulag 50 years ago so :/49:Am I excited for anything?When we finally capture Antarctica50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?a women?51:How often do I wear a fake smile?this is my natural face I swear52:When was the last time I hugged someone?Embrace? A human? I'm interested 53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?:/ as long as they singing Soviet Anthem, is fine54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?there was one capitalist, but Stalin got ‘em55:What is something I disliked about today?not many means seized today56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Caesar (to tell him about communism)57:What do I think about most?Thos means,,,58:What’s my strangest talent?all my talent is belong to the state59:Do I have any strange phobias?no60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?state provided camera? 61:What was the last lie I told?that communism doesn't work62:Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?you can't just use phones or videos for chatting smh63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?yes, every alien is communist64:Do I believe in magic?:/65:Do I believe in luck?no luck for nobody66:What’s the weather like right now?great for breaking your chains67:What was the last book I’ve read?Communist Manifesto 68:Do I like the smell of gasoline?Oil???69:Do I have any nicknames?Communist Cruz70:What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?one time my arm brushed against the wall71:Do I spend money or save it?I distribute the money to the people 72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Nah73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?Pink? No. Red? Yes.74:Favorite animal?The hammer75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM?seizing the means76:What do I think Satan’s last name is?Capitalism 77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Союз нерушимый республик свободных78:How can you win my heart? Redistribute the wealth79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?“He had nothing to lose but his Chains”80:What is my favorite word?Communism81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr?-1. Myself82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?‘YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS!!’83:Do I have any relatives in jail?not anymore they died84:I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?To seize any mean any where any time85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?none of them86:What is my current desktop picture?Globe of Soviet Union 87:Had sex?no88:Bought condoms?lol you don't need to buy anything89:Gotten pregnant?yes90:Failed a class?no91:Kissed a boy?no92:Kissed a girl?no93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?no rain in Soviet Union94:Had job?We all have job. Those unable are sent to Gulag 95:Left the house without my wallet?no need for wallet in perfect society96:Bullied someone on the Internet?no97:Had sex in public?Yes. The working class got fucked by the bourgeoisie 98:Played on a sports team?no99:Smoked weed?no weeds in Soviet Union 100:Did drugs?no drugs in Soviet Union 101:Smoked cigarettes?no cigarettes in Soviet Union 102:Drank alcohol?no alcohol in Soviet Union 103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan?no vegetal in Soviet Union 104:Been overweight?nobody overweight in Soviet Union 105:Been underweight?nobody underweight in Soviet Union 106:Been to a wedding?The wedding of Soviet Union and the world107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?no access to state provided computer that long108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight?no access to state provided TV that long109:Been outside my home country?Soviet Union is everywhere110:Gotten my heart broken?no111:Been to a professional sports game?no112:Broken a bone?no113:Cut myself?no114:Been to prom?no proms in Soviet Union 115:Been in airplane? Planes are for war, silly116: Fly by helicopter?helicopter?117:What concerts have I been to?Red Choir performance of ‘Red Army is Best’118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex?no119:Learned another language?what language is there besides Russian?120:Wore make up?no121:Lost my virginity before I was 18?no122:Had oral sex?no123:Dyed my hair?no124:Voted in a presidential election?are you suggesting democracy, and therefore capitalism? Smh125:Rode in an ambulance?no ambulances 126:Had a surgery?no 127:Met someone famous?Lenin 128:Stalked someone on a social network?Socialist Networks?129:Peed outside?no130:Been fishing?The fish belong to the state now131:Helped with charity?Charity is communist132:Been rejected by a crush?N133:Broken a mirror?No134:What do I want for birthday?no more captalism pls135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names?several and his name shall beComrade Marx McLenin-Trotsky Stalin de Cruz136:Was I named after anyone?No137:Do I like my handwriting?hey138:What was my favorite toy as a child?my trusty hammer and Sickle139:Favorite TV Show?the show where the communists win (like they did)140:Where do I want to live when older?Moscow141:Play any musical instrument?the instruments belong to the state142:One of my scars, how did I get it?I engraved the Hammer and Sickle on my right hand to show them capitalist pigs143:Favorite pizza topping?only pizza here is red144:Am I afraid of the dark?Stalin’s light evaporates the dark145:Am I afraid of heights?lol146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?that would mean death sentence, so no147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?No148:What I’m really bad at.I am bad at capitalizing 149:What my greatest achievements are.Seizing the most means yet150:The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me.‘Communism doesn't work buttface” (they were publically executed later that day)151:What I’d do if I won in a lottery.Redistribution 152:What do I like about myself?Communism 153:My closest Tumblr friend.@the-real-ted-cruz154:Something I fantasies about.interstellar communism155:Any question you’d likeYes

[themjinterviews-blog]

47. I got an 8ft bed that never has to be made. You know if it weren't for trucks we wouldn't have tailgates!

1. What type of criminal would you be? An extremely ineffective one. I’m pretty clumsy and severely lack stealth.

2. What are you listening to right now? Brandon’s watching some show on his phone across from me.

3. If you had to choose a stripper name, what would it be? Something awkward and distinctly non-stripper-ish like Constance or Trudy.

4. If your phone started ringing, who would you hope is calling? It’s likely gonna be my folks or Kristy if anything. Or the random number that keeps leaving me telemarketing voicemails in Spanish.

5. Do you drink? Everyone drinks. But if you mean booze, yes, but not too often. It doesn’t serve much functional purpose in my current life. In college and my 20’s it was a way to overcome social anxiety and inhibitions to make friends or meet guys or just get out of my own head. But at 30, I have Brandon and enough already established friendships that I don’t have much use for that particular vice anymore.

6. Do you smoke? Cigarettes, yes, because if I didn’t then how would I get a 5 minute break every few hours at work? “Hey can I sit on the patio and bullshit on my phone for 5 minutes?” doesn’t fly. Weed? On occasion…along the same lines as drinking, it makes me dysfunctional more often than not, and therefor isn’t useful. I’m an uppers and psychedelics type of gal.

7. What is the first thing you notice in someone? Depends on the person and the situation. There isn’t one thing I notice or consistently look for when observing people. I suppose whatever catches my eye about them.

8. Do you get attached easily? Not really.

9. Do you like your eye color? Yeah it’s fine.

10. Have any stupid human tricks? I can sit, stay and give paw.

11. Humor me. What physical ideal do you imagine in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Having ideals like that is kind of a trap. It subconsciously makes you closed-minded to things outside those ideals. If I’m attracted to someone, I’m attracted to them and it’s simple as that.

12. What type of personality traits do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? I already have a fella so, I’m not looking. And again, I never maintained a certain criteria for any potential mates…if we hit it off and I like you, I’m going to like/accept you for the traits you already presently have, not the traits I want you to “ideally” be.

13. Any other essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Please don’t be a lunatic and eat/ order your steaks and burgers well done.

14. Any romantic gestures you really like? I’m not really romantic. I suppose I do like the idea of going to Bed and Breakfasts. They always have a vintage, cozy sort of interior décor that fascinates me.

15. Any sexual fantasies? Are you daring enough to share one? I want to have sex in the penguin exhibit at the Phoenix zoo while the penguins and passerby watch.

And yes, I’m definitely messing with you. My sex life isn’t Tumblr's buisness.

16. Have you ever been in love? Honestly, I have 0 idea what that entails. Everything in the past I ever assumed or thought was “in love” was either infatuation, co-dependency, obligation, or other actually self-constructed concepts that were created by me (subconsciously) to fit some current narrative of my life. I’m either completely jaded or completely aware, not sure which.

17. Do you have a crush/romantic interest in anyone? Brandon. And Thor.

18. What’s your sexual orientation (if you feel comfortable answering)? I’m straight.

19. What’s your favorite color and why? Yellow, turquoise, some fuchsia-y shades of purple.

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Don’t have any that really jump out at me as stand-alone singular incidences.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Fuck no.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? Like, a less developed version of me now. A Windows 98. & I gave too many fucks about shit that didn’t matter.

23. What would your dream house be like? Small. No bigger than a cottage or double-wide Two bedrooms, kitchenette, a shower with a bath, some laundry machines and a little patio out back or front. Maybe some citrus trees out back. Even if I were filthy rich, this would still be what I’d look for.

24. What last made you laugh? No idea.

25. Do you have a place you like to go to collect your thoughts? My walk-in closet studio:

26. What is your favorite/least favorite word? Favorite: zany Least: dollop.

27. What turns you on? Uniqueness.

28. What turns you off? Conformity, closed-mindedness, regularly wearing Polo shirts of your own accord. Like if you gotta wear one for your work uniform, whatever, but why recreationally wear one?

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yeah. Pretty much exactly the same as swimming not naked.

30. Would you go bungee jumping/sky diving if given the chance? Fuck no, bro.

31. Do you have any siblings? Younger sister and younger brother.

32. Do you like to dance? Definitely not. One of the most mentally uncomfortable activities in all of existence.

33. What is your definition of cheating? Having an intimate connection either physically or emotionally with another person behind your partner's back.

34. Have you ever stolen anything? Umm like string cheese singles and a Bic lighter.

35. Do you regret anything? Nope. I forgave myself for being a completely inconsiderate cunt a few years back.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really. There’s shit I don’t like but phobia might be too strong.

37. Ever broken any bones? *knock on wood* No.

38. Ever come close to death? Yeah, once or twice.

39. What is your religion/spirituality, if any? I was raised Roman Catholic but I long since have chosen to bypass organized religions all together. I don’t like being told what to think or believe. Plus, am I supposed to blindly ignore the likelihood of humans modifying the teachings to suit some underlying power plays or political agenda? I simply have no way of knowing for certain, so I don’t really worry about it. Same with God or whatever deities could be chilling. No way to actually, tangibly know until we kick it. I just try and not be a dick as much as possible and keep an open mind.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Yeah. Sometimes a completely impartial human being who can write prescriptions is helpful to have in your corner.

41. Are looks important in a relationship? To a degree. You both have to be attracted to each other. But they don’t matter in the sense of how other people see them. Like, if you like someone but your buddy says their hideous, but you’re instantly love struck, you shouldn't not pursue them.

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? Not sure, honestly. I think it’s pretty evenly distributed.

43. What is your favorite season? Honestly, it depends where I’m living.

44. Do you have any tattoos? 3.

45. Do you have any piercings? Gauged ears, only, as of now. My job just made me remove my lip ring because our primarily elderly patrons kept complaining about it. It’s not like it’s affecting their food or my ability to provide customer service. I don't like the look of elastic band jeans from Walmart but you don’t see me complaining to my boss to demanding that they remove them, do you?

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Like, 4 officially certified relationships. A few stray flings in between.

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Sirius Black (from Harry Potter)…but like before Gary Oldman played him in the movies. I’m not saying Gary is ugly or anything but he’s not the smokin hot John Stamos/Johnny Depp-ish Sirius that my mind concocted.

48. What is your favorite thing to do? Draw/Color.

49. If you could only visit one place outside of your hometown, where would it be? Umm. I don’t know. A tropical island sounds lovely.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Not really. It’s immature, not only do you come off as insecure and emotionally volatile, but being jealous also solves ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Being jealous of someone just makes you angry and unhappy inside. That is all.