#even though im not homeless anymore its like theres deep scarring from the fucking. whole goddamn experience
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What's the fucking point
#god i feel like killing myself#just existing is a fucking struggle#whats the point of it#moving into an apartment was supposed to help and it did i fucking guess but i am so drained from trying to survive these past few months#fuck i could hardly bring myself to get out of bed today#i could hardly bring myself to eat#small things keep fucking building up and fuck. fuck. im so fucking tired#im gonna be honest i dont know how much fight i have left in me#i tried so fucking long#i begged and pleaded online for help with just. fucking anything. i was fucking homeless and people rbed my post but i hardly got anything#i feel like my art sucks and its not even good enough for people to pity commission me when i was fucking homeless#i know people did commission me. or donate. and i really appreciate it#but the sheer fact i was open about being homeless and had a whopping... two people either comm or donate me#and id make posts talking about how/why the shelter i was staying at was bad for me#and barely anyone helped#ive spent the past few months being insulted by other people at shelters.#having my fucking abusers show up at one of them#and constantly had people downplay my sadness and mental health issues or physical health issues#even though im not homeless anymore its like theres deep scarring from the fucking. whole goddamn experience#im in so much pain#i keep crying#i cant focus#i can hardly function#ive only eaten one meal today and its 7pm now#i dont think im gonna make it.#personal#vent
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