#ever since i saw that tiktok yesterday i feel like im going thru a breakup which is SO DUMB ????
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what's wrong w me
#shut up hanna#i didnt eat all day (nothing in the house)#so i finally left to get food#and i also got some ice coffee which was gross unfortunately#and by the time i got my food. it just. is so unappealing#i ate some of it but barely and i feel sick like somehow so full now#and now im j chillin in my car listening to the playlist i made abt him and its 80% taylor swift#ever since i saw that tiktok yesterday i feel like im going thru a breakup which is SO DUMB ????#but ig im just like. if i have these feelings and cant get rid of them.#and he either doesn't have them or isnt willing to act on them. i cant be his friend#like it sucks!!! but also. im so unhealthy its not a kind of relationship i can keep from becoming toxic.#if i was healthy i could do it but unfortunately id base my entire worth on how he felt abt me/treated me and thats bad ❤️#and i literally. like the posts i made a few days ago/last week (idk) abt how gr8 he is and loving our friendship#NOTHING HAS ACTUALLY CHANGED. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE I LEFT HIS HOUSE#ALLLLLLL OF THIS HAPPENED INNNN MY HEAD#insane#but this tiktok just rlly fucked me up and now im like. how is this gonna end.#im gonna get hurt. so am i rlly gonna just let it drag on and fall more in love so it hurts more later#what's the point#but my friends are sickkkk of hearing abt it and its FAIR#hes just some guy !! but also ive genuinely never felt like this for someone#and i knowww romantics alwayssss say that (me) but it genuinely is different this time#im 21 years old and i have n e v e r actually been sexually attracted to anyone before#also usually a crush either has major chemistry or compatibility w u yeah?#we have Both in an honestly disgusting way#i feel safer w him than i ever have w anyone and yet.#i have to break up w him (in my brain) but Nothing has actually changed so my feelings arent even valid#anyway my tummy hurts and i thought dominos would heal my heartbreak but i barely ate any and i feel sick ❤️#god i honestly just hope something is very seriously wrong physically and i can just like. die#i know its probably just mono still but a girl can dream ❤️
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