#hes just some guy !! but also ive genuinely never felt like this for someone

[tiddygame]

i’ve stared at this for so long that i now hate it and think ive lost all concept of how to write so take this and get it out of my google docs

the introduction is rough and the medical depictions (and accuracy/realism) could use some (a lot of) work but whatever! here it is, my vague yet still oddly specific idea of how the face reveal would go in @myriadblvck ’s streamer au:

tw: description of a panic attack? i think?

[this takes place post first irl meet but before they’re officially together]

imagine ghost has a glasgow smile but on one side they carved a little too deep and left some nerve damage. time and surgery helped, after which he could eat unimpeded and talk without a lisp, but there's still some facial nerve damage and/or skin contractures from scarring, specifically around the corner of his mouth.

now, everytime he smiles, be it shit eating grin or a full genuine joy filled smile that not even grumpy mcgrumperson could hold off, it always looks wrong because one corner doesn't raise fully like the other.

everything else is fine, there isn’t any facial paralysis, he just smiles… wrong. especially since only one eye properly squints when he smiles, giving him the look of someone who got stuck mid wink.

if he wants to look “normal” (or as normal as he could get it) he has to manually squint his other eye. still, it always felt weird; you don't realize how much those muscles affect the rest of your face until they're gone.

it's why he learned to always wear the mask.

when his expression is neutral, you don’t really notice it. if you can see his mouth when he talks however, it’s obvious that there’s something wrong. he wouldn’t say he’s necessarily ashamed of the scars and damage itself, but it’s the stares that are the worst. before he started hiding behind it, people would openly gawk or even glare at him as if he was some ne’er-do-well gang member that got what was coming to him.

he still remembers the cosmetic surgeon that had been talking to him about fixing the contractures— the whole appointment was a fucking nightmare. the cuts had healed nicely enough especially considering how bad it could have been; he was lucky to only need a little cosmetic help. the only reason he was there was so he could fucking eat food without struggling to open his mouth.

the doctor spent god knows how long breaking down everything wrong with his face like he was a fucking car mechanic lying about how dirty your filter is. the guy constantly mentioned that while he was under, they could also fix his jawline, do a rhinoplasty, trying to break him down to agree to more work.

he was already fuming my the time the doc brought up how kids would react. asking ghost if he wanted to scare children since “you cant expect the little youngins that are still learning about the world to not get scared by something scary,” and that “even some adults would cringe at the scarring.”

what stuck out most was the condescending smile he had when he said it. as if he was pointing out the obvious and ghost was being stupid and shortsighted by not agreeing.

he declined everything except what was medically necessary. the procedure went fine and after an aggravatingly long recovery period, he could eat solid foods again without issue. but the comments still stuck with him.

…okay, maybe he’s a little ashamed.

scaring kids with your face doesn’t feel good and being reminded of everything you’ve lost when you try to smile can really fuck you up in a way words fail to describe.

so yeah, he hates it. he’s gotten used to the mask, both skull clad balaclava and simple medical mask, being a permanent layer of armor. even now that he’s a bit more comfortable in his own skin it still feels wrong to pull it off.

when he gets close to soap, it still feels like a layer of vulnerability that he’ll never be prepared for.

the first time he let soap see his face, there hadn’t been any grandiose build up, no extravagant planning.

simon had arrived just a few hours earlier. he hated commercial flights with a burning passion but it was always worth it to see johnny.

with soaps twin out of town for the week, he had decided to take leave to spend time with his friend, a friend that he most certainly did NOT have a crush on (a disclaimer roach and gaz heard everytime they started snickering over ghost taking leave.)

johnny had cooked something nice and simple for dinner, saying that simon had spent too long with MREs and deserved real food (ghost only agreed if he was the one washing the dishes, soap had laughed and told him he's not so kind as to let him off the hook for chores).

when they ate, it was always in the living room with johnny taking care to always stay angled away from simon, never trying to catch a glimpse, regardless of how much he wanted to see what was under the mask. the obvious gesture of kindness and respect for his boundaries always left him feeling all weird and fuzzy inside. but, then again, johnny seemed pretty good at triggering that feeling in general.

their finished plates were on the coffee table and johnny was watching whatever dumb movie he had put on. he was pretty sure the man spent more time talking over it and making fun of everything than he did actually watching it (it was simon’s favorite way to watch a movie.)

ghost however, was watching soap. thinking.

in the end, it was an impulsive decision made after a strong three seconds of consideration.

“you uhm— you can look by the way,” ghost stared at the can of soda in his hands, immediately regretting the words.

“what?” soap didn’t fully turn, just shifted slightly to hear him better. a simple gesture to show he was listening without turning to face him. it normally made simon happy to see that johnny was more than willing to accommodate for his boundaries. now though it made him feel stupid for robbing johnny of a normal face to face conversation, a normal human interaction, just over his idiotic insecurities.

“my face, you—,” he felt his heart block his airway and tried clearing his throat before continuing, “you can look if you want,” christ he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. why was he getting so fucked up over this?

“are you sure?” he hadn’t turned yet, but ghost could see his pensive expression from here. this should be nothing. realistically, he knew johnny seeing his scars wouldn’t suddenly make him hate him… right?

“yes.”

but it was more than the fear of hatred, wasn’t it? he was scared that johnny would see him. see more than just the scars, see all of the ugly idiosyncrasies and insecurities laid bare. afraid that johnny would see the truth of how unlovable he was.

jesus he was getting so fucking worked up and dramatic over nothing.

ghost didn’t look up. he made an effort to not focus on his peripheral vision. he heard soap turn, heard the intake of breath. the silence was loud only for a second. then, deafening white noise surrounded him, inescapable, suffocating.

fuck.

he didn’t regret giving permission but god did he regret everything else; the stupid scars, the stupid nerve damage, the stupid way he had managed to fall for someone so fucking good like johnny while he was unequivocally unworthy of his love.

stop being so fucking dramatic. you are not together, never have been and never will be. reality was blatant in front of him but it didn’t stop his heart from foolishly hoping.

he heard soap stand and walk closer. saw from where he was still staring a hole in the can his feet step in front of his. saw johnny’s hands raise. he took a deep breath in, closed his eyes, and with a great deal of effort didn’t flinch when soaps fingers grazed his cheek.

both of his hands came up to cup his face, holding him and ever so slightly tilting his face up, giving him the chance to pull away. he didn’t. he may be a coward but he wasn’t backing down.

ghost eventually opened his eyes to see soap staring at him with wide eyes. he looked away, staring off to some point on the right. he hated not knowing what soap was thinking.

they stayed there for a while before soap broke the silence, muttering, “i fuckin knew you had freckles.”

it was stupid but it shocked a laugh out of ghost. he meant to drop his head, embarrassed that something so dumb made him laugh, but accidentally just pushed himself further into soaps hands making him blush.

he looked up and saw soap staring even harder than before. the chuckle died in his chest.

“do that again.”

ghost just gave him a confused look.

“smile.”

such a simple request, a one word sentence, but it set his face ablaze. his breath caught in his throat, somewhere around where his heart was still trying to choke him.

…he hadn’t thought it was that bad but soaps reaction indicated otherwise. fuck. was his it that awful? he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. this was stupid. he was stupid.

“simon,” of course, one word from johnny and it felt like he could breathe again.

“please?”

fucking goddamn soap and his stupid fucking puppy dog eyes and the way he has ghost wrapped around his fucking finger without even realizing.

ghost smiled. there was no real mirth, more a grimace than anything else. he just wanted to get this over with.

soap was still staring at him, his thumbs tracing his lips, following scars, drawing imaginary lines between freckles… if he wasn't so terrified it might have felt nice.

“Christ,” ghosts heart cracked more, “you weren't lying when you said you were beautiful.”

ghost huffed a laugh and went back to staring off to the right, the fake smile dropping. of course soap would try to lighten the mood with a joke.

his panic fled as quickly as it had consumed him, now just left sitting in soap's living room, face still cradled in caring hands, resigned to his mistakes.

he felt so tired and johnny's hands felt so inviting.

“i wasn't joking,” soap looked…upset? angry? wait— fuck, what’d he do?

ghost stared back at soap, confused and tired. soaps nails felt the grooves of the scar, catching where the skin was raised and lowered.

“you don't have to lie, soap. im a grown man. I'm not fragile. you don't need to coddle me,” ghost said it like it was a joke, hoping soap would laugh along and that this would all just blow over. that tomorrow morning they could forget this ever happened.

“are you calling me a liar?” soap’s brow furrowed. great. instead, he had managed to make everything worse and piss off soap as well.

ghost took in a deep breath, giving himself another shot at calming things down, “no, I'm not. I think you're lying, but you're not a liar,” he stood and stepped to the side, grabbing their dirty plates and walking them to the kitchen sink, “you just don't want to upset me, it's fine. I get it. you're a nice person but you don't have to lie to spare my feelings.”

“I am not fucking lying!” as per usual, all ghost had managed to do was make things worse. there’s a reason he had decided to stick to the battlefield and give up on domesticity.

“well alright then. agree to disagree,” he turned the kitchen tap and started rinsing the dishes, waiting for the water to heat up. just walk away. end it there. let us forget about this stupid blunder and move on. please just leave it. please, please, please—

“no.”

the force behind it damn near made ghost drop the plate he was holding. he managed to set it in the sink carefully and turned to face soap, who was now in the kitchen as well.

“i— I'm not just gonna fucking— simon,” soap took in a deeper breath and went to continue but ghost was faster.

“johnny,” he interrupted, walking forward with his hands up in a gesture of surrender, approaching slowly.

one last chance to not fuck everything up.

“the fact is they're called deformities for a reason. they're not cute. they're not pretty. they're your body’s way of healing what it can and protecting what it can't. it's not meant to look nice, it's just—”

“bullshit they’re not pretty! says fucking who?” the genuine distress in soap’s voice and force behind his words caught him off guard. “simon—”

he huffed and ran his fingers through his hair roughly, pulling slightly at the strands. christ, ghost needs to shut the fuck up. every single time he speaks he just upsets soap more and more.

he needs to retake his hostage negotiations courses. clearly he has forgotten everything about how to diffuse a situation.

johnny takes another second to breathe and collect his thoughts before he speaks.

“simon. I know that— that ‘this’ isn't something that's going to fix itself overnight and I don't expect it to. but, ‘the fact is,’ I think you're pretty.”

ghost opens his mouth to disagree but johnny doesn’t let him.

“no no,” johnny put his hand over simon’s mouth, shocking him into silence. he blinks twice, stupefied.

“i think— no. I know you're pretty. cute even. beautiful is a given but obviously worth mentioning.”

his hand moved to cup simon’s cheek. ghost grabbed his wrist but didn’t stop him, wether it was a warning or encouragement he himself didn’t know.

johnny continued, unperturbed, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right?”

there was a pause and simon realized he wanted an answer.

“johnny-”

“ah ah!” his hand moved back to cover his mouth, grabbing his face and shaking his head back and forth, over accentuating his words, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right? yes or no.”

he stopped shaking him and moved his hand back to simon’s cheek. simon sighed, defeated, “yes. you are right.”

johnny looked smug, “good. and what do you say when i give you a compliment you don’t agree with?”

simon sputtered, “wha— i don't fucking know—”

“nothing! you don’t say anything!” soap looked way too proud of himself and he continued, “or thank you if you feel so inclined.”

“that was a trick question,” simon replied eventually.

johnny thumbed over his scars once more, again tracing them, “sure it was. now go take a shower.”

he patted his cheek twice and walked to the hallway.

“wait,” johnny probably shook the few remaining brain cells out of his head. “this whole conversation ends with you telling me that I stink?”

“yes. rancid,” johnny opened the door to the linen closet. simon was still in the kitchen. the tap was still running.

“no dipshit, do you not remember telling me that commercial planes makes you feel gross?” johnny threw a towel at him, which he caught just in time for johnny to hit him with a bath rag.

ghost had mentioned that… ages ago, he thinks. on facetime with each other, discussing the merits of bathrooms on public transport. he had said that enclosed, crowded spaces like commercial planes or buses made him feel, well, gross. how—or why—did he remember that?

“but… I’m supposed to wash the dishes?” a weak argument against the stubbornness he was faced with but simon had officially lost track of his mind and this conversation.

johnny shot him a weird look as he walked back towards the kitchen sink. simon still hadn’t moved.

“did you think i was being serious earlier?”

“yes???” he felt like he had been given a lobotomy.

johnny decided to take pity on him and explained in a soft voice that felt out of place, “i was being sarcastic. i’m not going to make you wash the dishes, simon.”

“but that was the agreement: you cook and i wash the dishes.”

johnny laughed as if he remembered something funny, “yeah, i lied.”

simon still stood there, trying to figure out if he had a stroke. johnny had been angry, completely pissed at him, but now was letting him off the hook and calling him pretty? what the fuck is happening?

johnny turned him and pushed him towards the hallway. simon could have resisted but his resolve always seems to crumble around johnny mactavish.

“now go shower, you beautiful bastard,” soap grabbed one of the plates out of the sink and started washing it with water that had probably heated ages ago.

ghost walked towards the bathroom, feeling like he was on autopilot, limbs disconnected from his brain. his cheek still felt… odd? weird? tingly?

it felt something from where johnny had grabbed it. ghost thinks… he thinks he likes the feeling, whatever it is.

he needs to sleep.

[wolvertooth]

can you plz hate rant about the deadpool & wolverine movie… saw it last week and i didn’t like it all… very refreshing to see that someone shares my opinion lmao

i got u man👍 most of this was in my drafts from after the movie came out, but i just never got around to posting it. i added some other opinions ive had since then, tho theres still a lot ive said over the past month that ive totally forgotten about lol

the intro sequence was fucking HYPE‼️ but then, part way thru the movie, u realize....it doesnt ever hit that same mark again. WHERE TF WAS THE HUGH JACKMAN SONG THEY PROMISED? the trailers showed 95% xmen origins clips. the movie didnt mention it once. no the brothers line doesnt count. false fucking advertising. deadpools sexuality has been confirmed since 2014. and now, 10 years later, its still being reduced to gay jokes. and people still eat it up like its genuine rep.

that guy at the tva who’s whole punchline was that he likes men. why. in 2024. why is that allowed. his whole character was a gay joke. i mean so was deadpool, but this guys whole thing was. That. can i say homophobia? can i say i felt that? is that reasonable? this movie felt like a fundraiser for the future avengers movies to make up for all the recent flops.

i watched this shit twice and yea. i was right. the plot was half assed. once u watch it once, thats it. thats the fun. its all just cameos. the jokes didnt even make me laugh again, since it was majority shock based humor. my second watch thru i was trying not to fall asleep in my chair. the way it lacks plot isnt in the Not Coherent kind of way, but rather 'this couldve been a 40 minute monster of the week episode'....or maybe even a 2 episodes if they wanted to get freaky with it it just felt so separate from the rest of the movies, like it wasnt even a sequel.

literally, the movie begins with them abandoning the previous timeline and wade moving to a new ‘better’ one.....almost like hes moving over to a more sacred timeline.........separate from fox.........which is dumb af cuz the movie couldve been him accepting that whatever happens in ur life u cant go back and change, and u have to make due with the good u already have. the previous movie ended with him having a family, he didnt need a new one. i mean, they did that for logans 'learning moment', why wouldnt that also apply to wade? paradox literally says ‘hey we brought u in cuz the mcu is dying, so u should come over to the sacred timeline’ and then after he changes into his costume THEY CHANGE THE PLOT. THEY THROW THAT OUT. WITHIN MINUTES. now paradox is like ‘actually just your timeline is dying, and i wont elaborate on how that works. and also u dont get to go to the sacred timeline. and i hate you.’ WHY BRING HIM THERE AT ALL THEN IF THATS THE PLOT U CHANGED IT TO? ITS DOESNT MAKE SENSE. even if the plot was that he had to go to the sacred timeline cuz his own was dying, WHY WOULDNT HE BE ABLE TO BRING HIS FRIENDS?

what was the vanessa plot? they never explain why she broke up with him? theres like a tiny flashback where she says hes been distracted ever since he got rejected, rejected from what? clearly not the avengers, since that happens after she leaves him. so wtf was the motive here????? the cameos felt like props. especially the deadpool corps, which i feel like they didnt even skim a wiki article for. they just went off google images. which hurt me. cuz i reallyyyyy like those guys....in the comics, theyre a group of deadpools(consisting of lady deadpool, kidpool, headpool, dogpool, and deadpool), who in their first series save the multiverse from being destroyed(sound familiar?). theyre the GOOD GUYS. why tf would they hear cassandra nova say ‘hey im gonna kill the entire multiverse’ and go ‘alright sure whatever’. why were they in the void to begin with? how’d they get there? isnt the void just for movie continuities anyway? why was cassandra also there? how does the void work? why does the void exist? will someone please explain literally anything in this movie? why not have them come in later to save the fucking day instead??

oh lady deadpool...how they massacred ur character... OH KIDPOOL.....HOW THEY MASSACRED UR CHARACTER...... god speaking of that. cassandra nova had literally so much potential and they watered her down to just Evil Villain. she hasnt done much in the comics, but one the things she did in one them was using her powers for therapy on the xmen(which deadpool also made a cameo in). she sort of does this briefly in that one scene, but it was just so.....basic. bland. why was there no b plot with the rest of the main cast. did they think the audience doesnt watch these movies for them? cuz i sure fucking do. i was waiting for the continuation of colossus and wades epic romance arc. side note, the gay jokes in the previous movies felt even less queerbaity then these ones. this movies queerbaiting was just....sad. marketing queerbaiting. this movie WISHES it couldve been deadpool 2 levels of queerbait(shoutout to the extended sex mimicking scene set to In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel)

did anyone catch at the end when deadpool was narrating and when he said ‘friends’ yukio and negasonic teenage warhead were on screen. did anyone see that. they disney gal paled them.

i know wade is supposed to be the Funny Guy but man. thats literally all he was this movie. the other ones has ANGST they had him be HUMAN while this one was like 'logan was mean to me one time ):' bro. what happened. where'd the writers go.

this wolverine was like. the wolverine 2014 wolverine. which is when fox wolverine started to lose character and just become grumpy and mean. hes also like that in Logan 2017, but the reason why this kinda attitude works in that one is bcuz hes old, hes fucked up, hes tired, and every fuck that comes outta his mouth he means it. and yet....still manages to experience other emotions. what a concept. ive read literal satire comics that understood his character more(shoutout to the What The--?! series). it just had me waiting for the 'gotcha! this wolverine is actually 3 dimensional!' but it never fucking got there. it was amusing in the beginning, but by like half way in, i did not give a single fuck about this guy. they tried to give him some emotional moment(like. the only emotional moment in the entire film) but it just...lacked the emotion. just 'heres my sad backstory. are u sad now?' and then they did the SAME THING AGAIN no we get it man u were at the bar instead of with ur friends and u went on a classic wolverine style berserker rage. why should we care tho?

i mean, sure, they could use the excuse of being in the type of depressive state where ur emotions numb out(speaking as a mfer with the came curse), and yea hes not the kinda guy to open up about his emotions unless he really trusts someone(which he would likely distance himself from forming connections with others after that kind of trauma), but with cassandra nova right there there was a missed opportunity for elaborating on that. for digging deep into his brain and telling why this fucked him up so bad. imo, if i were to write it, with everyone he gets close to he puts upon the expectation for himself that hes at fault for anything that happens to them. that he needs to be the savior, even in a friendship. to prove himself to be worth something. especially after a life of being convinced hes a burden by just existing as himself, he needs to have use in order to make up for the fact that hes Logan.

but whos going to save him? isnt he struggling too? whos gonna help you? looking at all the other logans across the multiverse, who is the wolverine? why do you keep falling for the same patterns no matter where you are and who you are? deadpool called sabretooth queen and she/her'd logan within like 5 seconds of eachother. that was pretty good ig

final verdict:

yknow. i think i get now the way fans reacted the way they did tho.

the other night i was rewatching the movie Hackers with my mom, saying that it was obvious the creators mustve known a lot about hacking in order to do such a good parody of it, out of love for the craft….but my knowledge of hacking is pretty minimal, so i have no actual fucking clue if that assumption is accurate or not. im just going off of a ton of references to hacking. for all i know, real hackers couldve hated this movie.

and thats how the average non comic fan saw this movie. they saw a buncha characters and references and thought ‘damn, they must really love the source material’ without knowing how much of a kick in the face it felt like to watch them get used and butchered like that.

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Okay I finished the BOOK

YAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYA

God I need fanfics of Molly living with Giovanni now like T-T

AHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH JUS

JU- AHHAHHSHHSHAHDJXBJBSKSJKZBSJS

Everything I ever WANTED

AND NOW THAT IVE FINISHED

My verdict on Lorelai:

I'm glad that whatever growth she may go through, Molly won't be suffering when she inevitably backtracks along the way. It'd be nice to see the two mend their relationship but it is definitely for the better that they've been separated.

I wanna see Lorelai struggle and grow but she shouldn't get anymore opportunities to hurt Molly, much less for the sake of her learning a lesson. So it's better this way imo

And now that Molly isn't there, Lorelai's gonna have to run the shop and learn her lesson through CUSTOMER SERVICE joining zuko and others in the redemption arc trend of becoming redeemed by dealing with bitchy people

I very much don't mind rotating Lorelai in my brain a lil more cuz I don't hate her. I want to bunt her across the room when she hurts Molly ofc, I will not retract my statements, but I hate HER FATHER more than her

Cuz her father has no excuse to be the way he is. I'll get back to Lorelai in a moment cause she is definitely NOT faultless, but HIM?? He enabled all of this. He never checked in with his daughters and was always so inconsiderate of them. AND HES A GROWN MAN! It's telling that Giovanni goes off on him more than he does Lorelai cause in the end, he did nothing.

Back to Lorelai, she feels like a very intentionally immature character. Immature and selfish in a way that contrasts with Molly when Molly is the actual kid. I mean, Lorelai is 17 and all but by that age you can fairly expect someone to grasp not leaving your 12 yr old sibling to suffer under responsibilities your supposed to share.

And Lorelai being immature I think is added to by her fear that she's the reason her mother died. And the grief in all that. I think it's a good enough reason to feel sympathetic for how she's spiraled into this unhealthy coping mechanism and separates her from her father when it comes to being a rotten person.

By the end of the book it still felt like she hadn't grasped WHY what she did was bad to me and I'm kinda hoping that was an intentional writing decision. The book shows how she doesn't grasp some things like what makes someone a genuinely horrible person and so for her to still not quite see how what she did was bad, feels fitting.

By the end of seemed to me like, she KNEW what she did wasnt okay because Giovanni told her off and she was confronted with the truth that, she wasn't the good guy. Yet knowing that didn't make her understand what her actions specifically caused. Despite. Molly telling her.

I want to look up shenanigans between Molly and Giovanni in fics but I also kinda want to see Naven and Lorelai's relationship with the steps she'll make to become a better person

So def a ways away from growing significantly but I like that Naven has stuck around offering his help should she accept it. I mean Giovanni did that too but Naven's role in her story hits HARD

[EDIT: God I'm embarrassed Naven only pointed out Giovanni's card he left behind, ONLY GIOVANNI reached out if she wanted to work on herself to be better BUT I STILL LIKE TO THINK SHE AND NAVEN KEPT IN CONTACT SHUSH he could like give her some tough love]

Speaking of relationships, idk about Giovanni x Lorelai

I mean I still think it could be cute, Lorelai's crushing scenes are hilarious as much as they are sad and envoke feelings of "I just want good things for Lorelai". I def don't think she deserves him rn but I do think that, since Giovanni hasn't shut down her becoming his minion in THE FUTUREE, when she learns to be good at being bad, she has a shot.

Though, it's still a little lost on me if Giovanni has figured out she has been crushing on him HARD. Like, he picked up on her cheating and bullying but did he pick up on any of the signs for her affection?? Makes me think she's gonna have a hard time in the friendzone if she became a minion. Not sure what Giovanni with a crush would look like either tho so.

I have a bit of a hard time seeing Giovanni crushing on her but I still think their dynamic is cute enough! Just dragged down by how awful she's been to everyone and HIS NUMBER 1 MINIONNN

but the more I think about it, I think it'd be great to see them as just friends. Like, getting on the level of best buds and Lorelai loses her crush on him. Both still maintaining the dynamic they had in that last fight with all the bantering cuz they are pretty similar

If they ever became romantic though. Like. Molly and Lorelai's relationship NEEDS to be healed and I think healed for a WHILE. I just can't see it working out otherwise. This would probably need to ring true if they were to become best friends too but EVEN MORE SO if they got mushy (as in the failed baking trials that would compromise 40% of the time they would hang out. Love language quality time)

Anyway

Ngl I already got my own angsty ideas for Lorelai because self hatred + not wanting to be the bad guy is such a delicious combination of traits that contradict each other yet still exist never the less

I wonder how Lorelai reacted the morning she realized Molly was gone and gone for good. I'm betting she at first believed she'd be hanging out with her friends and would be back. Then a day passes. Then another. And another. She asks her father if he's seen Molly and is reminded he doesn't care. I wonder if she confronted Naven about where Molly was, if she'd at first lash out when he doesn't tell her, and that reminds her why this happened.

She probably couldn't wallow in self pity for very long since she'd be working now, but still vry interesting how it'll play out

[petitelepus]

hello! i apologize in advance for writing so much

but i hope i can get a normal matchup for twisted wonderland! i go by she/they. i’m 21 and pansexual.

traits: ENTP 6w7, leo, deadpan (i say jokes with like a straight face so people genuinely get shocked by me saying something unexpected), diligent (people have told me their first impression of me is that they think i am boring because i am somewhat of a teacher's pet), funny, perceptive (i am good at reading people and it's something that i'm proud of but also sometimes sad about. i can read when people are sad even if i haven't known them for long and it can either startle them or comfort them when i bring it to light.), thoughtful (i do things with others in mind), physically affectionate, 'sardonic and sarcastic' (my teacher's words, not mine.), creative (i have random bouts of energy that i use to make ideas. random things pop in my head every now and then and my friends whom i share them with think they are very odd but they expect it from me), eager to learn (i like to challenge myself intellectually so i come off as nerdy), "mature" (i don't like saying this because my definition of mature is probably miles different and some people would say my humor is immature but ive had people tell me that in serious situations, i show a lot of maturity), tomboy, empathetic

i have a lot of hobbies, but i get so bored i drop them every now and then– my only consistent hobbies are probably sketching, gaming, writing, running, and editing, but i also recently picked up needle felting. i like wearing and having cute things but my personality in general is very stereotypically 'masculine' so i hang out with more dudes than girls.

favorite things: psychology, typology, games, animanga, rice, heavy rock/metal

dislikes: wasabi (or anything that has a strong flavor), inconsiderate people

I match you with Malleus Draconia!

You're clever and independent, and as a Scarabia's student you can be cunning but most of all you are diligent. You take time to make decisions and in the end, it pays off well for you.

Now, you and Malleus aren't that different, which is why you two are well-suited for each other. You're both deadpan, not letting your emotions show outside, but like you said, you can read people like open books and this is how you saw how lonely Malleus really was despite his royal status.

You're a kind one, eager to get to know Malleus better, and while your friendliness may be a little weird to him at first, in the end, he appreciates that you are willing to try and get to know him. Most people fear him and he is so used to it that he never expects kindness from others.

But you weren't just another human, but a thoughtful and affectionate one. You're willing to put aside all the rumors you may have heard of him and try to start anew with him. An act that warms Malleus' heart and encourages him to open up to you.

You take your friends' comfort seriously and this includes the Fae. May God help those who talk bad about Malleus while you are at earshot because if you hear someone talking about anything that can even be considered mean, you will go and defend your friend fiercely.

You don't need to do so, Malleus is already used to people talking, but you insist that he doesn't deserve to be treated like that. Words that echoed in his mind and how cute you- Wait, cute?

As you are eager to learn, Malleus is more than happy to share his interests with you, and that includes his love for gargoyles. He may be showing you the magnificent stone statues when you suddenly look at him and smile.

"You could say these guys were the original… Rock musicians?"

You start giggling and laughing at your own joke and while Malleus may not understand it at first, your smile is all he needs to feel joy.

"Child of man, your humor amuses me and keeps me entertained but it's your smile that I treasure most."

Dayem, when did he become that smooth!?

As you are physically affectionate, and while Malleus is a little awkward, he happily accepts your affection and tries his best to return it to you because he understands that it means a lot to you.

Malleus is new to technology of any kind so when you introduce him to video games, he is in awe.

He has this naive and childish wonder in him as he watches you play and if you try to teach him, he takes a lot of glances at you, trying to see if he is playing right. You're a good teacher, patient, and kind, so even if he fails he has fun with you there by his side.

[youremyheaven]

need some big sister advice because ive just gotten heartbroken 🫠🫠

i wouldn’t say i got played, because that’s not really the case, but i definitely did get hurt lol 🤣 the guy is two years older than me. sweet, charming, genuinely a gentleman. we were never really talking but there was always a weird tension between us, and sometimes he would do things that were not exactly friend things.

he’s older, and we’re at that age where the two years gap is fine but also has that “older guy” energy. he recently got a girlfriend. she’s so gorgeous, i won’t lie. genuinely has the nicest smile ever, and she’s everything i’m not? or i guess her background is a lot more similar to his than mine. they both come from really wealthy families— they’re both well traveled, well cultured, everything.

my grandparents are wealthy, maybe comparable to his family and hers. my parents are average to higher middle. never mind the context.

there were genuinely so many weird coincidences between us, from line-ups in our past, to other things like same birthmarks or conditions. maybe all this doesn’t matter though, does it? i think all this just contributed to me thinking there was something more between us.

idk i’m just hurt because there were so many things he did that were so sweet, and so nice, and he never really cared about other girls that way. it was all genuine too, and definitely more than friends things. right now im wondering if maybe he just saw me as someone to take care of? someone younger, more naive, and maybe he never actually liked me that way— but then there are other things that he did that were so not friends 😭😭 and even his friends and mine would sometimes ask if we had something going on

sometimes i wonder if the entire friend group was just in on this big joke or maybe im just looking at him with puppy eyes, even though im not that kind. ive been so adamantly against relationships, and this was the first time i actually wanted someone. ive always been so focused on school, internships, taking care of everyone, and then for once i wanted something for myself, and this happened.

im so academic, and i like taking care of people and doing things like knitting/crocheting/embroidery/cooking and all that stay at home things. you get the gist, im basically a homebody and introvert and i just like my own space and peace 😕😕 this girl parties, is always at the beach (me too but we are so different even in this manner because she’s the kind that takes pictures, dresses so well and i admire her so so much for it, while i go and pick up seashells and stare out at the beach 🤣🤣) and she’s just sooo extroverted, the life of the party with everyone, and so charming. and he’s quieter i guess, conventionally attractive, from a good household, a gentleman, stuff like that.

i never thougjt i would be the kind to compare myself to others but this is the first time ive ever felt this way and i just 😞😞

he’s really the nicest, and his girlfriend seems so sweet too, it was just sudden.

any advice? if youve ever been in this situation <33 i know its not really astro/fashion related but i don’t think i can even talk about this to my friends or anyone :c

babygirl 🥺

i understand what you're going through<3 this has to be one of the most difficult experiences in the romance arena tbh,, a guy who is extremely nice to you, gets your expectations up and then ends up dating someone who is the complete opposite of you 😭😭its a terrible feeling and its only natural that youd compare yourself to her,,

the best thing for you to do rn is to distance yourself from them. dont look at their socials, dont meet them often and get as far as u can from them.

its okay to wallow in it and it will take you some time to move on.

its impossible to understand where he was coming from or what his intentions with you were. you dont have to feel like you're silly for having believed that there was something between the two of you. he gave you "special" treatment and thats reason enough. whether or not he had romantic intentions is a different matter.

but the important fact rn is that he indeed has a girlfriend, which means its in ur best interest to avoid him and not contact him during this period so that you dont feel worse than you already do.

did he have feelings for you? was he just a reallyyyyy nice guy with no romantic intentions? was he just toying with you? these are questions that we can't really find answers to rn and no answer will ever really be satisfying enough.

immerse yourself in your hobbies, studies/work and keep yourself engaged. focus on yourself.

obviously an experience like this can take a toll on your self-esteem but these are experiences that will help us grow thick skin. our self worth should never depend on how others treat us. sounds easier said than done but you must always always always remember that how someone treats you is a reflection of their character more than it is of yours.

this can go both ways. if someone is extremely nice/kind/generous with you, it helps to maintain humility when you think its the goodness of their heart that makes them act like that, not you being "special" enough to receive it.

but if someone is mean/nasty/rude etc, thats also because of their character and the poison they carry in their heart. and has nothing to do with you as a person.

its important to build a firm core so that you're not swayed by generosity or broken by malice. you have to be self-content enough to see all things, both good and bad, as temporary. this does not mean you dont appreciate the good stuff or feel bad about poor treatment, you're human and you'll always have feelings but life is long, and you'll meet all kinds of people in life who will say and do all kinds of things, you shouldnt tie your self esteem to it, thats all.

think of these experiences as your immunization process, you're becoming more resilient and strong.

with men, unless and until, they explicitly say they want to take you out or date you or want you to be their gf, its 🚩🚩 and sometimes they even say all this AND play you 😭😭

i hope you have more peaceful days ahead of you and can forget this guy and focus on yourself<3

there are better men waiting for you who will give you the world and never make you second guess anything!! dont be too disheartened, pretend this is ep 4 of a romantic drama, things always get better by ep 16 😉💛💛

[pumpkinsy0]

Any hcs about angela and bryon’s relationship? (to be clear I don’t ship them I just am curious how you think their relationship went)

bryon mentioned, day RUINED

•they never went on a genuine date, they mostly just used each other for who they were known as, they were rlly only w each other BC they looked good together

•also on angelas part it was a lapse in judgement, she was pretty desperate for someone to get w her cause she finds fulfillment and self worth in being w someone and bryon was there so,,

•they were that couple where if u stopped them on the sidewalk and asked them basic questions of the other, they rlly wouldnt get that many right and its bc they dont rlly talk about their personal lives w each other, they only SEE glimpses of it, but they never talk about it

•curly was already annoyed w bryon before he got w angela, but when he did, he just didnt like him even more and he was telling angela he thought that guy sucked but angela just wouldnt listen

•come to them breaking up, curly doesnt like him even more and hes like “i told u so” to angela

•speaking of them breaking up actually, angela didnt give bryon any shit for lying about how they broke up bc it at least got off her mind that he would try to ruin her chances of getting w pony or anyone else

•i just remembered those comments about black people and girls bryon makes and the fact that i hc the shepards to be black i just fell to my knees he probably got an ego off of dating angela bc shes black and dint rlly take her emotions allat seriously my fucking christ someone kill this guy already

•btw along w the racial tensions already there, i wouldnt say that angela didnt talk to curly about dating pony considering ponys white and yknow hes black, i feel like they were already on edge about white ppl before that and what happened to angela kinda put em on edge even more

•ive always said tim is protective of angela especially when she gets into relationships and he’d ask her if they ever put his hands on her, and she always said no bc, well they wouldnt dare and also bc they never actually have, but w bryon, tim could tell there was something going on between them that was worse and way different than her past relationships, they were ALWAYS arguing like almost nonstop at one point

•usually after a break up, angelas a bit upset, but that night when she broke things off, she just felt free because she had more silence in her life

•i feel like to some degree, they were both egocentric and disregarded things w the other and that lead to unmet needs in the relationship and that was basically like the beginning of the end for em

•angela would always drag bryon to do couple stuff w her friends and their bfs and he rlly wouldnt try all that much to seem like he cared, once he kinda just, ditched angela to hang w mark and that was one if their biggest arguements

[yakuzacanons]

ya dont have to answer this one cause it might be a bit silly goin to headcanons blog for this but idk ireally like ur blog ur posts always cheer me up. ive had a rough day and idk i thought it might be nice to hear how ya think these characters would try and comfort and/or cheer up their partner, yknow, make em feel better?

This is actually a great double feature to my last post which was specifically about comforting their partner on their period. That one was kind of more focused on their partner feeling physically unwell so this one will be more catered to their partner feeling emotionally unwell, if that makes sense and if that's okay.

Also, I'm sorry to hear you had a rough day and I genuinely hope you feel better. I don't think it's silly at all to ask for these kinds of things, we all have to do what we gotta do and happiness comes in all kinds of forms, so if this is one of those forms, I'm happy to be of service. I'm also sorry this post took a bit to get too as I've been rather busy but I didn't forget you dear anon! Thanks for your ask, headcanons beneath the cut as always.

I'll get to the rest of the asks in my inbox tomorrow, so good night my sweet sweet friends! Thanks as always for your kind words and asks, I really love writing these and sharing these with you. Goog nitey.

Kazuma Kiryu

He understands all too well what it's like to feel down and out. Having said that, Kiryu won't try to cheer you up right away or distract you as he believes getting to the bottom of what's bothering you is more important. Regardless of it's a rough day at work or if someone made a rude remark at you, he wants to hear you out. He is THE best listener, he never interrupts.

His very first action always is to give you a long, warm hug. How often Kiryu wishes he could've been held during his darkest and toughest moments, so now he pays that forward to others who need it. If you cry, he'll tell you it's okay and to let it all out.

Now that you've gotten that all out, it's time for him to cheer you up. Nothing makes Kiryu feel better more than a hearty meal so he'll offer to get food at your favorite place, his treat. If you'd rather stay home, then he'll do his best to cook something up for you. Maybe Haruka and the other kids at Morning Glory will get in on it and clamber to help him out in the kitchen, which you can't help but smile at. You're truly surrounded by loving and caring people.

Majima Goro

Now, if the issue was caused by someone else, his first reaction will be to go give them a nice talking to a.k.a. kicking them really hard. If you're down with that, he will actually go do it but if you're not, he'll grumble and say "Fiiine... only 'cuz you said not to."

Eventually, his thoughts will turn to finding ways to make you smile. Majima is a bit more of a "forget your troubles" guy, sometimes more than he'd like to admit. If there's nothing particular that you want, then he'll just start trying things until you crack a smile at his earnest attempts, to which he'll say "Ah, there's that adorable smile!" before giving you a hug and a kiss.

If you cry, Majima will actually become quite serious. More than anyone, he's felt so many times in his life like he was on the verge of tears but he's always held them back. He'll drop everything to comfort you through the tears, quietly reminding you to take deep breaths and just holding you until it's over.

Akiyama Shun

He believes rest is the ultimate medicine, especially when you're feeling bad. Nothing works wonders more than a warm shower and a nice, long sleep. Granted, he is the king of being exhausted so maybe he's projecting just a little bit here.

As goofy as Akiyama can be, he's pretty good at hearing you out. However, he might be somewhat oblivious and slow to notice you're not feeling your best. Once he realizes it, he'll apologize for not noticing sooner and ask what he can do to help.

If some alone time is what you need, he's absolutely not offended. Akiyama knows when to back off and won't pester you and ask if you're sure you want to be alone. He trusts your intuition on that and won't put his ego before your feelings. After all, to him, that is the very meaning of loving someone else.

Saejima Taiga

Out of all the boys, he's going to feel the worst when he sees you're feeling down. Some part of him just feels bad that he wasn't able to prevent whatever it was that hurt or upset you. Saejima has major protective vibes and he'll always wonder if he could be doing more.

In the end, making sure you're okay is more important to him. Saejima is pretty mature and he'll be able to push through those weird self doubting feelings in his own time. He'll gently hold you but won't pressure you to tell him what happened. If you want to, he'll listen intently although he may not always know what to say in response, especially if you want advice, as he doesn't think his life experiences necessarily line up with most people.

Definitely the type of guy to say things like "I'm here for you, okay?" and really mean it. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, Saejima is your guy. After all, he has giant shoulders.

Tanimura Masayoshi

His life experiences have made him very empathetic and he will be able to really connect with you if you talk about your problems verbally. Where he struggles is if you don't talk about it because he doesn't want to force it but also doesn't really know what to do unless he has some direction to go in.

If you don't want to talk about it, he'll just sit next to you in silence. He doesn't want to just fill the space with his words, so instead he'll just lean his head against yours, taking deep breaths with you. Tanimura will stay for as long as you need, just so you know that you're not alone in this.

He's down to get some food at Homeland once you feel ready to get back up and out there. Tanimura is very food oriented and nothing makes him feel better than a nice meal, especially since Zhao and Mei Hua are always so welcoming and kind. He has a very infectious smile and he notices that you light up a bit when he smiles, so he'll try to do something fun with you like eat food or maybe play a video game at his place. By the end of the night, you'll both be grinning ear to ear.

Ryuji Goda

Secretly, he's also a "Show me who upset you and I'll give them a real nice talking to" type of guy but he's better at keeping that under wraps than Majima is. Of course, if it's not a particular person bothering you, that's where he stumbles a bit. He's never been great at just talking about things, like giving advice.

He'll refute any thoughts of self doubt you have. Did someone make fun of your hair? "They were probably bald 'n ugly themselves anyways, the hell would they know?". Do you feel self conscious about your weight? "I'll have you know that yer damn perfect as ya are." Ryuji loves you for you, for better and for worse, so what he lacks in advice or long talk sessions he makes up for with pep talks.

He's the type of man to kiss your forehead and ruffle your hair while holding a box of tissues while you cry. Ryuji rarely if ever felt safe crying in front of others before and honestly wishes he had spaces like that when he was younger, so he takes care to make sure that you feel completely safe in letting those feelings out if you need to.

Nishikiyama Akira

King of self care. Self care is the solution to everything. Nothing makes it all better like looking AND feeling good. It might sound shallow but Nishiki tries to make it fun in some ways, like getting face masks with silly colors or faces printed on them.

Out of all of the boys, he's best at gossip. If you're someone who wants to go on a long rant about all the stuff bugging you, he's all ears. If someone in particular is bugging you, he'll interject with "Oh, she did NOT" or "They did WHAT?" every so often.

He won't ever get violent. He might feel frustrated that he can't really do more than just hear you out or distract you with something silly but that won't stop him from trying at least. If you have suggestions or things you want, he's all ears though.

Daigo Dojima

The gentlest boy there ever was. He's the most perceptive of all the boys, able to immediately spot if his partner is feeling off that day. He'll always ask you about it in private, making sure to never embarrass you, softly asking "Honey, are you alright?"

If you're at a work related function and it's obvious that you're overwhelmed, Daigo will excuse you both from the event early and bring you home so you can have a safe place to decompress. When he's at work and if he knows you've been having a bad day, he'll call from his office and say "Hey honey, I just wanted to see how you were feeling". He makes himself as available as possible, always looking out for your welfare.

Daigo is really in tune with your needs and quite attentive to the things that make you happy, the things that bother you, and the like. When you're having a bad day, you'll hardly have to ask for a thing. If you're a stay at home and lay in bed all day person, he'll bring your favorite drink in and sit on the bedside while listening to you talk. If you'd rather go out, just say the word and he'll be out front with his private car ready to go wherever you want as soon as he can slip away from work.

Mine Yoshitaka

He often feels helpless in situations like this. If it were up to him, every day would be the best day possible for you. He doesn't necessarily feel like a failure but he definitely feels your pain and sadness, wishing he could just magically make it all go away.

His best skill is reassuring you. If you ask if you're actually good at something, the answer is yes. If you feel like you're failing at something new, he'll say something like "The important thing is that you're trying, and I admire that about you". He's very steady in supporting you with things like chasing your dreams, no matter how hard the road may be.

He's probably the most practical when it comes to interpersonal issues, likely a direct result of his type of work. He's good at helping you iron out tough situations, like an awkward conversation with a friend. His deep understanding of you combined with his solid reasoning skills allows him to give you a pretty good outside perspective on those kinds of situations, provided you want him to of course. Mine wouldn't offer you advice without asking if you wanted it first. Also the type of guy to wipe away your tears for you.

[mykeworthy]

She Called Him Edgar (The Opening)

“Hey, Raven, you need any help?” The empath turned her head to the shapeshifter, leaning over the counter. She had dropped her favorite mug, which thankfully landed on the soft carpet, but on the ground it was basically out of reach. Normally she would use her magic to summon it back to her hand, or even just bend over and pick it up. But there was a very large reason she was unable to do either, and it was currently blocking her view of even seeing the mug at all. 

Raven let out an annoyed breath, but nodded and took a step back from where the mug fell. Beast Boy closed the space between them, bending down to grab the fallen ceramic vessel. He cared it over to the sink, and began to wash it, setting it to dry with the other dishes he had just finished cleaning.

“Thanks,” Raven said, before taking a seat at the kitchen table, unable to stand much longer. “One more month,” she muttered, “One more month and he’s out.” 

“Already been eight months?” Beast Boy said. “I bet you can’t wait to see the little guy.”

“I’d also like to see my toes,” she immediately bit out, her snark reaching higher than normal levels. As if she immediately rebuked himself, her hands cradled her own stomach. “I… I do want to meet him,” she said. She never liked calling the child growing inside her with just simple pronouns, but a name for him escaped her. 

She was suddenly aware Beast Boy was looking at her, with that dopey grin on his face. 

“What?” she asked, feeling annoyed.

“Nothing,” he said with a little defense. “I just like kids and everything involved in it. I hope one day I get to help someone bring a cute little baby into this world.”

“Just try to pick someone who isn’t half demon. Not having control of my powers has been he…” Raven went silent, her hand returning to her stomach. “He.. he just kicked.” Raven felt a similar dopey grin creep onto her face, as she focused on the life moving inside her.

Beast Boy got this look on his face, before beginning to walk away. Raven never figured what made her say the next line to him. “Did you want to feel?”

Beast Boy’s ears perked up before he even turned around, kneeling beside Raven in a flash. He very gently, checking Raven’s expression as he went, placed his hand on her stomach, over the baggy shirt she had been favoring with her changed physique. 

It took a moment, but the boy kicked hard, harder than he had before. Beast Boy let out a soft laugh, before catching Raven’s eyes. She could see a true genuine joy in them… but past that a soft sadness. 

“He’s going to be a lucky kid. You’re going to be a great mother, and all the Titans will be there for you, whatever you need.” Raven placed a hand on his shoulder. 

—————————————

Raven slowly opened her eyes, as the memory of where she was hit her. The hospital bed was not comfy, and she checked to see if she was hooked up to anything. An IV, a heart monitor. Raven had not had a normal reaction to birth, and despite wanting a natural birth, she needed to be sedated. Her eyes scanned the room, the last thing she remembered was a bunch of nurses and doctors around her, and seeing her son for a few moments before passing out.

Right now, the room was empty, save for a lone figure by the window.

“See that Eddie?” Beast Boy spoke, cradling Raven’s son in his arms. “That’s Jump City. Your mom doesn’t follow along with a lot of celebrity news, but some many people out there are so eager to meet you. You are the first Titan baby, and soon Star and Robin will give you a little cousin to play with. But until then, everyone is going to want to see you, yes they are.”

Raven cleared her throat, and Beast Boy turned to see her sitting up. “You’re awake! Up long?” He asked.

“Long enough to hear you criticize my disdain for gossip.”

Beast Boy smiled and carried the baby over to her bedside. “Now, would you hand me my son?”

“No,” Beast Boy said, gently swaying with the child in his hands. “Doctor said first thing you need when you get up is to get some water in you. Glass and pitcher on the table.”

Raven glared at him, and Beast Boy got nervous. “Hey, it’s not my decision. Take it up with the highly educated and experienced doctor. You need water, and mommy needs to take care of herself, doesn’t she, Eddie?” The last part was not directed at her, instead to the baby.

Giving in, the empath grabbed the small pinkish pitcher and filled the styrofoam cup with water. “Why are you calling my son, Eddie?”

“Short for Edgar. Guess you picked a name. Doc said you told him just before you zonked out. All the others thought the name was odd, but he looks like an Edgar… In a good way. Beast Boy shift the boy in his arms, so he was holding him up so Raven could see him. “Edgar MiddleNameToBeDetermined Roth. Say hi to Mommy, Eddie.” Beast Boy used his pinky to gently move the boy’s hand like he was waving.

Raven felt something in heart as she saw her son, and finished the glass before reaching up for him. This time, Beast Boy gave no resistance and handed him over, Raven cradling him, copying the way Beast Boy had been holding him earlier. “He does look like an Edgar,” she said. Beast Boy gently placed a hand on the boy’s head, before beginning to walk away. 

“Garfield…” she called out, watching the man turn to look at her. “Thanks for watching him.” 

Beast Boy lit up with a big smile. “Anytime Raven!”

[angel-anachronism]

OKAY IVE NEVER REQUESTED BEFORE SO IM SCARED BUT I REALLY LIKE YOUR WORK AND IM JUST WONDWRING IF YOU COULD WRITE A RICKY X FEM! READER WHERE THEY ARE LIKE STARGAZING TOGETHER OR SOMETHING?

OK, I'M BACK FROM THE DEAD! Sorry for not posting in such a long time, but life has been going downhill for me lately, and I just feel so unmotivated, so I'm very sorry for making you wait such a long time! My mom has gotten an operation to get rid of a cyst out of her vocal cords, and she's mute for some time, which has made me go through a very deep depression, and exams have made me go through it even deeper.

But now I'm a little better thanks to friends and family. I'm still very sorry for making you guys wait such a long time for me to write oneshots, but I promise that I'll try writing more!

Anyways, here's your order of a scenario Ricky stargazing together with (Y/N) <3

We also reached over 100 followers, which I still cannot believe! Thank you, guys, so much, I love you all very much!

Anyways, sorry for rambling, so here's the oneshot <3

(Tw: None!)

Rewrite the stars (Ricky x Fem!Reader)

(𝓨/𝓝)'𝓼 𝓟𝓞𝓥

My life was pretty boring until I met this boy named Ricky at school.

Ricky had always been fascinated by the stars. He would spend hours looking up at the night sky, marvelling at the beauty of the constellations and imagining what it would be like to explore the vast expanse of space.

Despite his love for stargazing, Ricky had always been a shy and introverted boy. He had developed a condition that made him unable to speak, and this had always made it difficult for him to make friends and connect with others.

But then, when we first met at choir practice, we immediately hit it off. I saw beyond his silence and understood the beauty and depth of his soul, and he understood mine too.

I'd never felt happier in my life until this boy came into it, and I'm thanking every star in the galaxy for making our meeting even become true.

Speaking about the galaxy, today is a very important and rare day for astronomical events. Today is the day when a solar eclipse occurs!

I and Ricky were very excited about this event, and so we made a plan to witness it: We were going to go to the top of Uranium's highest hill tonight and I might even confess my crush on him... That idea makes me blush.

As I stood on the hill, overlooking the vast expanse of the valley below, I couldn't help but feel my heart racing with excitement. The solar eclipse was about to begin, and I was standing here with the one person who had become so special to me over the past few months: Ricky Potts.

I glanced over at Ricky, and I could see the excitement in his eyes. Despite his inability to speak, he had a way of communicating with me that was so pure and genuine. I felt like I could understand everything he was thinking and feeling, without him ever saying a word.

As we stood there, gazing up at the sky, I noticed how the air around us had grown cooler, and a sense of calm descended over the hill. I felt like we were the only two people in the world, lost in our own private universe.

I looked through the eclipse glasses that Ricky had brought along, and I gasped as I saw the sun slowly being obscured by the moon. The bright disc of the sun was being replaced by a dark circle, and it was as if the world had been plunged into twilight.

Ricky pointed up at the sky, and I followed his gaze to see the corona of the sun blazing around the dark circle. Even though he couldn't speak, I could sense his excitement and wonder, and it made me feel so happy to be there with him.

As the eclipse continued, we stood side by side, lost in our own thoughts and feelings. I couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for this moment, for being able to witness such a rare and beautiful event with someone who had become so important to me.

As the eclipse ended and the world slowly returned to its normal brightness, Ricky turned to me and smiled. I knew that even though he couldn't say the words, he was thanking me for sharing this experience with him.

"Hey Ricky...I have to admit something to you..." I said. Ricky looked confused. "I like you...And I mean like LIKE you! Wouldyoupleaseacceptmetobeyourgirlfriendprettyplease?" I said the last part faster than sonic the hedgehog could ever say, which made me blush even more.

Ricky started blushing and looking at the ground. Did I do something wrong? Before I could ask him, he signed for me to sit down next to him, and so I did.

At that moment, as I felt the whole universe revolving around us...we finally kissed.

At that moment, I felt like the luckiest person in the world, and I knew that no matter what the future held, this memory would stay with me forever.

𝑅𝑒𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔 >> 𝐿𝒾𝓀𝑒 (𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓈)

[rueclfer]

hallo help a girl out please ree,

As someone whos never really dated before i think im getting a crush but like I DONT KNOW FEELINGS

Let me lay the scene for you: IMAGINE THIS youre in your ap psychology class, its week two of classes and your friend’s friend comes up in the spare minutes left to talk with his friend. They chat and stuff and i hear something about soccer and say a lil something abt soccer bcos i love to watch it and support my team, and the friends friend, lets call him A, he says to our mutual friend,

“omg i didnt know u had a female friend that like soccer” SO LIKE A DAY LATER ANOTHER FRIEND OF A AND OUR MUTUAL FRIEND JOINS US AFTER OUR LESSON FOR THE PERIOD. and im like “dang hes kinda cute right” oh! Lets call him K. So K and i start talking and i learn hes a Tottemham spurs fan which is yuck but wtvr. So we talk abt soccer and clubs and teams and players and yada yada. Then on like monday i think, he gives me something out of the blue. K GAVE ME A TRADING CARD OF MY FAVORITE PLAYER IN A SLEEVE AND EVERYTHING. I was like

“i know ure making fun of me and my fav player (joshua kimmich btw 🙏) but idc im gonna cherish this tysm” and he was like

“yea ur welcome” THEN THE NEXT DAY HE GIVES ME ANOTHER CARD OF ANOTHER PLAYER SO NOW I HAVE TWO ?? I didnt even know these things existed!!

and like hes nice but also kinda mean bcos he dogs on my team and players and stuff but like is is banter ?? Does he actually hate me ?? Does he kinda like me ?? Do i like him ?? IDONTKNOWREE ive never really felt this im genuinely looking forward to class to see him (we have psych 4th so i have to wait 4 hrs to see him) like it gets me so excited and happy and i wanna chat w him and joke and laugh but like do i only feel this way bcos ive always romanticized love and relationships and thus wanna be in one or do i like him ive only really known him for a week and a halfish am i jumping the gun i dont knowww arrUUGHHH

-♣️ (is this one taken?)

okay leme put on my glasses LMAO hi ♣️ i literally thought this was going to be abt you and A but u switched up on me !!! so its you and K. okay.

this is definitely giving some type of rivals to lovers and im always on board with being delusional and diving head first into that!! BUUTT u gotta understand that the essence of men is pure stupidity so while youre maybe reading the card exchange as flirting, hes maybe just thinking that hes making a cool friend. i think crushes make the world go round and its fun to look forward to ur days bc of a guy u like!! nothing wrong with that but u should def just be buddies for at least half the school year first before u start yearning hardcore hehe

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

General:

okay!!! im a bi trans man with a preference for men!! i have bleached blonde hair and brown eyes, my style is generally grunge but i dress like an 8 year old boy sometimes too.

Personality:

Im very stubborn, i make jokes but a lot of people dont really laugh, im kind to my friends but i can be a bit of a jerk to everyone else. (if they give me a reason to be) I make witty one liners and my teachers say im pretty funny. I have a large like for music and I honestly dont think I could live without it. Ive got ADHD so im a pretty big mess, i get distracted easily but when i am doing something its the only thing i will focus on till its done. im relatively happy but if someone says something about my gender specifically itll cut deep. I get emotionally attached to everything and everyone and i get really hurt when I lose something important to me. overall im just a silly lil guy!!

Looks:

Messy bleached blonde hair, with full brown eyes, and medium sized lips. My nose has a bit of a bump to it and im a lil insecure ab that. I have a septum piercing that i usually keep flipped up but sometimes will wear it down. Once again, my style is grunge and im really big on band tees and wearing shirts over long sleeves. I loveeeee jeans. Im sorta muscular in my arms but i do have some body fat in my stomach area that I am working on losing. Im a pretty pale shade of white and legit i glow in my old yearbook photos.

OKAY I HOPE THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR A SHIP!!

(Im INTP and an aquarius but I dont think that matters too much)

Your Fandom Ship: Two Bit Mathew (The Outsiders)

I think mainly you guys would bond over humor and also as sidenote that you too would be very fun to have class with because he also really likes pissing off teachers, but kind of a friendly way and he does genuinely likes school in Cannon to just mess with people, and I feel like you guys would share that you in a less extreme way, but he would totally appreciate someone who can actually like his sense of humor instead of thinking that he’s annoying. i’m not gonna lie he probably made a few insensitive jokes about your gender first, but then realized it really hurt you and never made them again and then instantly made fun of anyone else who did it and he felt really bad about it and he rarely feels bad about things that he does or jokes he makes, but he felt bad when he saw that pained look in your eyes. I mean, he would’ve definitely drink the rest of the night and another while you guys are dating I think he would drink a lot less because you make a lot of a happier person. I thought you guys would be pretty.

[lilliathshifts]

Oh my god guys, I forgot to give y’all a little life update 😔

I had an ultrasound done on my thyroid about a month ago and they found a lil nodule on my thyroid which isn’t a big deal at all and is completely normal but when one is found, it’s standard to do a biopsy on it to make sure it’s nothing and luckily 99%+ of the time it’s nothing which yippee.

Today I woke up a 4 am to get ready and head to the hospital for my biopsy and I was a little nervous on my way there I went on my local news stations Facebook and found out my moms cousin got 99+ years in prison without parole bc he’s a multi offender and was caught cooking coca cola so that was a fun thing to wake up to. Anyway get to the hospital and the news is going and they mentioned him. He’s a celebrity. Jk.

So I get admitted and I meet my nurse. He was a dope guy and I genuinely thought he was gay but guess he wasn’t. He started my iv and he said my blood flow was incredible 😮‍💨

But there was so much blood everywhere. I wasn’t expecting to see that when I turned my head. He laughed at me and said “sorry didn’t mean to make this look like a murder scene”. Afterwards he was like “you took this way better than a lot of people, for a second I thought you just weren’t feeling any pain but then I saw that you were gripping your feet and you’re face was wide eyed” 😔

ANYWAY he put saline in the iv to “make it pretty and clean it out” LOL but he said that some people can actually smell the saline as they put it in AND I DID IT WAS SO WEIRD. We talked for a bit about our COVID experiences and I talked about how I got it on my 14th birthday and haven’t had my smell since (yippee 😔) and he said he has never met a person who completely lost their smell and never got it back. He left for a bit and came back and said “girl your labs came back in they’re literally perfect, I’ve never seen anyone who had labs this good” so I’m special I guess.

He gave me this calming med (forgot the name) and it made me feel so dizzy and and the room was SPINNING it was weird then I went back into the operation room.

I want to give a trigger warning but I don’t know WHICH one so just be weary I guess

It was awful and I hope I never go through this again. So I got in the room and my nurse was just talking about me and how I had COVID on my birthday and never got my smell back anyway so the biopsy started and the numbing medicine hurt like hell. It felt like someone STABBING my throat over and over and over again then practically the whole time and the person stayed the biopsy and I didn’t feel that but I did feel her pressing on my throat which was weird but the numbing meds were the only thing I could think about. The pain was horrible and I cried the whole time. They were telling me to pace my breathing bc it was really rapid but I couldn’t because it felt like someone was slicing my throat open. Then it was over and I just stared at the ceiling and they thought I was just high but I was actually just traumatized 🫶

the moment I got back into my room I started bawling. I wasn’t in pain but I was a little sore. My mom got my a cookie and my nurse brought me a water. I stayed in the room for about 30-45 minutes just waiting for all the meds to wear off and I was wheeled out to my car. I got Dutch Bros caramelizar (OMG IT WAS SO GOOD) and my mom got my Whataburger and I got home and watched Supernatural with my mom before going to sleep bc I got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night.

I just woke up from my name to Kallmekris and CelinaSpookyBoo playing and thought “you know, I should probably tell tumble about my day” and so I am. Also after all this today, they LITERALLY slapped a bandaid over my neck 😭

Anyway peace out dawgs

[coffeeallaloneandlord]

.

got out my laptop to write a vent post like it's 2014 idk i'm just like ruminating on every breakup i've ever had and realizing after 15 years of trying to fit the role of girlfriend that is really just not for me lol! like i really thought i was on that path but if there's been any theme to my life so far it's that my path is not straightfoward like i transferred high schools i transferred colleges i moved to a new state without knowing anybody lost my housing immediately in a pandemic and still made it fucking work now i manage a restaurant which i could have NEVER seen myself doing 4 years ago even tho i always wanted to. the first most significant relationship i had when i was 18/19 was with a really genuinely great guy, i broke up with him because i knew somehow that i was too young and had a lot more to experience. it sucked because i loved him deeply and still did for years afterwards to a painful degree lmao. that colored a lot of my subsequent relationships thru college and beyond, which mostly: sucked. and they sucked because they all paled in comparison to the great relationship i had given up in order to have the freedom to have shitty relationships lol. so then i had some shitty relationships, interspersed with periods of girlbossing, then when i was 26 i started dating someone (long distance that i met thru a friend) who was really a perfect match for me in so many ways and i genuinely thought like this is it. literally had king of my heart on the relationship playlist, baby all at once this is enough. but then over time the realities of what it would take to really build that relationship, especially if it meant marriage, actually sank in for me and all that i would have to give up about myself, the life that i've built here, that i fought so hard to build. also i've said it before and i'll say it again.... this grown man let his mother do his laundry. this red flag represented more family dynamics that i won't get into for his sake but it was like once the puzzle pieces fell into place about what i was being asked to sign up for re commitment and marriage it was like omfg no. i will not be doing this man's laundry in 5 years' time fuming and resentful. so i ended that relationship which sucked because all my breakups SUCK i can never have a half decent breakup to save my fucking life, but i was still of the mindset that he wasn't the one for me and i needed to keep looking/waiting. i've dated here and there since then. but what took months and months to sink in the aftermath of that breakup was that the little details like the laundry and the distance that caused that breakup and not the underlying cause of all my breakups since i was 16 which all boil down to i don't wanna do this anymore lol. some people think the term honeymoon phase is controversial or whatever but that has been the case for me in every single relationship ive had that's gotten off the ground. relationships that don't get off the ground are a completely different story lol the only similarity is that every breakup ive ever had big or small sucked ass. to the point where it would lead to me staying in relationships way longer than i should have to avoid a traumatizing breakup which as we all know only makes the breakup worse [[laughing emoji x 13]]. so now like thinking about a guy a like and care about and him hypothetically asking me to be his girlfriend and i can't think of anything fucking worse. like no shade to the girlfriends out there. but my experience of being a girlfriend, even of a guy who treats you well, is that they are using the experience of possessing you to feel good about themselves. all guys do this. the guy who wanted to marry me treated me like aphrodite and worshipped the ground i walked on. and i believe he truly loved me, in a way no one ever has. but it felt perverse after awhile, like in the end it was really serving him. my laptop may die and i don't wanna lost this post, if you're still reading tysm for reading my stream of consciousness <333 if you didnt read this far sorry for not being perfectlol

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/758357268754513921/httpswwwtumblrcomyouremyheaven75827179373789

omg in my experience honestly men don’t stick around though?? there are some weird people who stick it out even after saying no but yeah you’re right its kinda icky knowing he talked about you with his friends like that 😭😭

i think my issue is i can date someone people consider conventionally ugly but i cannot date people who have an ugly character yk? might be a little weird but im very sure i remember someone close to me with an 8th house stellium but i might have to find who… i just know there’s depth (obviously) to these people but also there are certain things they do that make me go a little 😶 and i genuinely dislike mean people so much so even with a little thing like that i have this split moment of get OUT of my life but im usually okay after that just weird around them

i have a scorpio stellium though which might not be the exact same but i really value my privacy//im not hiding anything, its just that the intimacy and the emotional aspect attached to tbise things is too much. i love intimacy and genuine connections with friends and ive never been desperate to have a boyfriend (my entire childhood friend group and almost all friends were talking about wanting a boyfriend publicly and now they got one months later but yes anyway) i just value those connections just as much as romantic relationships so the hiding things aspect plays out even in friendships and family matters, which makes me seem so secretive but im not!! its just too close to my heart

could be different with everyone idk but sometimes i think the hidden things are not as hidden, and his friends and family probably have experienced this 8th house stellium in the way it manifests with nakshatras and everything.

- mother anon 💗

"omg in my experience honestly men don’t stick around though?? there are some weird people who stick it out even after saying no but yeah you’re right its kinda icky knowing he talked about you with his friends like that 😭😭"

anybody's who's ever pursued me has been persistent as hellll for YEARS or they just stay in my life as my "friends" and "acquaintances" 😭since this is my only experience of reality, idk what to say about that :/// I guess I have Saturn aspects with those people (I'm currently in my Saturn dasha) and that's also perhaps why they stick around for long.

its not that HE spoke about me to others, its that him and his guy friends were all collectively thirsting over me 😭😭idk if he said that as a compliment or whatever??? but i got the ick 😭because it felt like it was a competition between him and them of whether or not he could "score" me 😭ive dated people in the past who told me that their friends thought they could never "get with me" and i understand that friends talk about this kinda stuff and its "normal" but i get the ick from knowing that people are talking about me like im an object they're trying to acquire 🤢🤢🤮like SHUT UP

arm guy also values personality a lot i think 🤔

he's extremely close to his friends and family 🥺🥺like his family knows all of his friends and they all get along with each other, and its this super close many years long bond that they all have<3🥺i think only his inner circle gets to see that side of him 🥺cant wait to find out more hehe

thanks for telling me mami <333 hope u have a good week ahead of u<3

[tw1stedthicket]

fuck me man. after going back through some stuff and really thinking about it, im ngl, i feel pretty happy with just calling myself sapphic due to really only caring about being with women and wanting to define my relationships in that context and not in a context of including or centering men, and i wouldn't even mind if someone referred to me as lesbian even if it's not the word i would use, but that'a the thing! there's a word called "gay" and newsflash abby, that's what only wanting women is, even if you worm your way around not being called a "lesbian"; but! i am really afraid to own that. It's like, okay, i'm afraid of using the word "lesbian" due to what i'm afraid people might think, but if i tell people i like women and do what i wanna do.. they're gonna come to the same conclusion. I know this is internalized homophobia which makes me feel even more shameful, but it's me being honest.

What sparked this thinking was how i found a really cute bracelet of the "woman" symbol with the circle as a heart and it was linked to another one to represent 2 women connected and love for each other and stuff and i was like omg i wanna wear that that makes my heart go soft 🥹 but then i was like no because if i do that then i really have to own it! Theres no longer any way i can be like "well...yes....um....you see this only makes me happy because i also have an attraction to women...it's not that i really really love them haha... i am also attracted to everyone else too including men!" And so i was like well maybe i can do like a little rainbow! I can always say "i just like rainbows" right?

But then it's like ah goddamit people really are gonna assume then that im not bi! But i dont want people to think im bi and i dont know how that fucking works! The thing is, is i dont think to myself anymore than i am bi, even tho sure, there are lots of attractive and wonderful men. But i feel like my inclusion of them in my identity is me being disingenous, it's me including them because i know there is a real possibility that i would feel attraction toward a guy enough that i want to be with him but in reality if i felt that way about a guy, the thought that they might like me back makes me feel afraid, because somewhere in my fucked up thought process i am thinking that means im gonna be with him!! I like him, he likes me, we obviously get together right? But i dont want that! If i could honestly flip a switch where no guy ever liked me romantically again and instead just wanted to be good friends or besties and the strongest sense of attraction they felt to me was entirely platonic, i would flip it immediately! I wanna be their friends so much more! Please save me that anxiety. Is it anxiety from having to perform gender roles for them and in reality if i deconstructed those then i would see myself comfortably being with a man? Maybe?? I dont feel like fucking doing that work tho anyway because the attraction i feel toward men is, and im so sorry dudes, is like... not worth doing the mental lifting for for what it would take for me being with them. I'm sorry, women are literally right there instead. And i dont feel the same baggage for them, just genuine warm fuzzies. People tell me "oh women are just as complicated and human and capable of being bitches! It's hard work either way!" Okay but i have never wanted a man bad enough that i would stick with it like i would with an amazing woman i loved, and newsflash there are a million fucking more of them than there are men. *IN MY INTERPRETATION* again sorry dudes. Thats not even just saying like all dudes are bad people or something to have to do labor for, i just have to jump through hoops to find who i am to them, you know? I get out of myself in every romantic encounter/relationship ive had with guys. Again, is it because i was raised with fucked up experiences of what men and women are supposed to be like or do? I dont fucking know.

If i had to honestly and truthfully take a guess, my guess would be that i am capable of experiencing attraction and happiness with anybody, regardless of gender, given that the relationship is equal and based on a genuine love and respect for both people. In the sense that perhaps there are always exceptions to every rule because the world is so fucking big and there will always be humans out there that could make you question no matter how much you like a particular type of person, but also because maybe some of my attraction to men, as anxiety-producing as it tends to be, is more of an inner thing and actually could be be appropriately healed and manifested in genuine good feelings toward him and a desire to be with him i.e. true attraction. And maybe the reason i want to pursue romance and love and whatnot with women more is because it feels safer. And maybe part of that is because i am a woman myself. Is that wrong? Is it safer because it's more genuine? Hey, i think so in the most charitable part of my brain, but the comphet part of me says "women are always just emotionally connected and intuitive with each other ofc it's easier for them to have relationships with each other! the connection is just all women tho!" but that just serves to devalue the genuine attraction i feel for women that is romantic and sexual and all that :/ Like stfu brain, i dont think most women actually desire relationships with other women and life partners and stuff and labeling it as "just girls and their casual soulmate status with their best friend 🤪" pisses me off. But at the end of the fucking day i know what my choice is! Am i being biphobic? Thinking it's invalid and i need to choose? Well my mind feels like it's fucking chosen for me and i like women!

I hate this because then it makes me really sad like goddamn this really is me huh and i know how people fucking act and treat gay people or lesbian people and it makes me really fucking sad. I was just thinking to myself and it was like, yknow, i feel like i really am in a closet. And i have tried on an outfit that i think i would really like. And i put it on and have to close my eyes to do it because if i open them im gonna be too scared to really look at myself and go through with it. So then i put it on and it feels different, but it hugs my body in ways that feel comfortable even when i cant see it. And when i open my eyes and look in the mirror, it is startling but not surprising, and a little bit awe-some, and theres a moment of recognition that...In my private mind, this is how i see myself. What i am looking at on the outside is what i see on the inside. What i always wanted to be, at least. There's a "Finally" caught behind your breath but it feels not quite right to say that, because how could you have known? I never would have had i not let myself actually...explore. Actually recognize, i guess. But i cant exit the safety of my room, my closet, my dressing room, whatever it is. People would say im a freak, they'd be disgusted, at worst. People might forcibly rip at the clothes or force me to change. People might say theres nothing wrong with it but it's inappropriate to wear in public. People might even say "wow! That outfit really is you! But...i dont like this you." And a million things.

I'm so fucking new to this, i only recognized and realized attraction, and i mean genuine attraction, to women just a couple years ago even tho i had been privately questioning it for longer, but. Damn. It makes me really sad to think of the women that look at other women who like women and dont feel the same comraderie because they think im gross, or a predator, or something. It hurts to think of anyone thinking badly of me, but honestly its the other women that would see me differently that makes me sad. If men wanna be mad then fuck them but it makes me really sad to think that other women would not like me or distrust me.. :(

[malevolententity]

hrmgmgm 4ever situ thoughts

this will probably get messy and personal because that Really informs how i feel and i need to expel it from my body LMAO

i still dont know how i feel. or well. i know how i feel but its nuanced and conflicted and im mad that i cant concisely say how i feel. we Know the initial information didnt come out in good faith. we Know that the girls involved were not asked how they felt prior to the callouts. we also can see from current actions that this doesnt happen anymore. that it doesnt represent who he is as a person in recent years.

and i fully believe that people are able to change and grow from past wrong actions. regardless of if those actions were just wrong jokes or Literal Actions.

this cycle never gets easier. ive been on both sides e.g. being like one of the girls. but also being one of the ccs. so i get their no nuance just anger. because m still mad as hell about ike/ciel. as someone who was good friends with him. but also was the same age as his victims and very easily could be considered one by some people. shout out to being two people removed from ironmouse though 🤪.

but ive also like. been in the girls situation. you dig back 11/12 years on here. theres Going to be evidence of 22 year olds with thousands of followers flirting with 13/14 year old me. some of whom were harmless friends making weird tasteless no intent jokes. and some of whom were genuine pedophiles that either were complete strangers or people i knew in real life and called friends. and id be fucking pissed if any of those were taken out of or even in context without my permission. because its my story. if anyones going to be talking about it it should only ever be because i decided i wanted it to be talked about. not some random person having a vendetta against people i used to talk to and finding and using bits of my story as a way to defame someone whos recent actions do not line up with the deplorable actions of them in 20 fucking 12.

and so i cant help but have 800 fucking emotions. because what we know about is gross. but i dont believe he should be fully deplatformed over shit he hasnt done in 5-7 years. and that is absolutely fueled by my emotions because as far as we know. the girls did not ask for him to be deplatformed. the girls stories are being spread without their input to ruin a guys life. and i would feel violated if i was used as evidence by strangers against my will.

but maybe thats just the victim brain in me who will always feel the need to shield some of the guys from my past because its complicated and messy and humans are complicated and messy. and im just projecting. because i have been in those girls position. a few times.

and thats why ive been mostly silent through this whole thing. because i am a Hashtag Bad Victim and no one wants to hear from the people who think were being too hasty and think information should come from the people involved. not twitter sleuths who really fucking hate a cc.

that said for people who need to see it written out. im not supporting him with views on future videos. i still enjoy 4ever as a character. i will still probably reblog 4ever art every now and then, because ive also gone thru this in a dnd fandom where one guy turned out to be a shitter but i still enjoyed his character so i will engage with the character when i feel like it. because that character is not the streamer.

this whole situation just feels bad and unfair to absolutely everyone involved. no one here is winning. celebrating his removal is weird. because the removal means something Did happen and thats horrible. and watching this turn into a spectacle to see who unfollows next/what the next announcement is, is disgusting. this isnt a game and it feels like some of you are treating it that way. these are real lives, these are real people.

side tangent.

i really fucking cant stand everyone whos been comparing this to the dream situations. because every single dream situation has come from victims or people posing as victims. so of course. listen to them and do your own research but believe them from the get go. THIS THOUGH????? WAS ADMITTEDLY UNRELATED PEOPLE WHO HATED A GUY, WHO FOR MONTHS HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO DEPLATFORM HIM. AND FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT WAS ACTIONABLE. of course some of us were going to hold off on forming thoughts and were gonna be skeptical of where the information came from because it was not victims coming forward.

its two different fucking situations and acting like theyre the same is insane to me.