#every day i wake up +!get on my little soapbox

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

so so picky about my celegorm/aredhel....i’m off my rocker for them but they have to be my specific way or i start unflavoring the broth. anyway she’s aro; he’s desperately and hopelessly and perennially in love. they’re best friends. they hate each other. they fuck nasty on the reg. they’re both messing around with other people (sometimes he wishes they weren’t). he would’ve dropped everything to marry her. she thinks she could kill him pretty easily. he thinks the same in reverse. she still resents that oromë gave huan to him and not to her. he loves and respects her freedom. he’s thought about breaking her legs to stop her always running away. she blames him for argon and elenwë’s deaths. he would leave her on the ice again if he was asked to. they’re forever missing each other. they never want to see each other again. he would kill for her and he’s not sure if she would do the same. she wants him to ask her forgiveness (she doesn’t know if she would say something or bloody him up). and best of all they’re having hardcore nasty queer sex among the pine needles

[itsplutohere]

a very appropriately unhinged review of will wood's music (except for icimi)

I rate every will wood song because wtf else do i do with my pathetic life

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con):

10/10-fuck yes we are BOPPING. we are CRIMINALS. we are STARTING OFF STRONG!

Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones):

4/10-okay we are kinda bing chilling. it’s okay :P kinda triggers me a lil cuz it reminds me of EDs???

Front Street:

10000/10-YESSSSSSSSSSSS YES YES GOING FERAL INJECT THIS INTO MY FUCKING VEINS!!!!!!

¡Aikido! (Neurotic/Erotic):

4.7/10-it slaps a liiiiittle but not that hard. like it kneads. it kneads not slaps.

White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?):

9/10-it both slaps and i can jumpscare ppl with the surgery line??? fuck yes sign me up!!!

Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine):

2/10-ew too slow. yucky nasty bleh hiss ew hiss

Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D.:

8.5/10-i hold ur M O M in contempt

Red Moon:

10/10-CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED. ME WHEN I WALK THE EQUATOR CHASING THE LIGHT.

Lysergide Daydream:

5/10-mid!!!! muh-muh-muh-MID!!!

The First Step:

9.5/10-MUNCH. OMNOMNOM DINNER NOW. IM JUST A BOOZIN BASTARD,

Jimmy Mushrooms’ Last Drink: Bedtime in Wayne, NJ:

1/10-this exists???

Chemical Overreaction/Compound Fracture:

10/10-when ur an unhinged girlie in the middle of a yeehaw desert

Everything is a Lot:

3.5/10-deep but the deepness doesnt stop it from being too slow for me

Destroy to Enjoy:

7.5/10-surprisingly good for laundromat ambience and chanting??? we r bodhisattva we r buddha dying waking up ig <3

Self-:

7/10-too good for a 6/10 but not good enough for a 8/10. still slaps tho

2012:

9.5/10-FUCK!!!! (inhales) (iwasanexistentialcriminalsoinnocentlycynicalignorantasfuckbutaproudindividual-)

My mom also likes it :D :D :D

Cotard’s Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca):

8.4/10-starts slow but then GOES UNIMAGINABLY HARD!!!! jumpscare ur friends with it!!!

Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer’s Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus):

8/10-me when i try to replace myself.

The Song With Five Names a.k.a. Soapbox Tao a.k.a. Checkmate, Atheists! a.k.a. Neospace Government (A.K.A. You Can Never Know):

30/10-WOOO BABEY. OH MAN OH MAN THIS FUCKS SO HARD. IF IT WAS A PERSON I WOULD MAKE BABIES WITH IT-

THE SONAR WEEOW WEEOW WEEEOOOWWWW AT THE BEGINNING THE SUNSHINE IS A GASLIGHT PART EVERYTHING IS JUST HJADFKHNF

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!:

8/10-if i ranked it any lower i would self-crucify <3

Dr. Sunshine Is Dead:

7.8/10-i love the funky little way he sings “i fumble for the switch”. you go buddy.

-ish:

6/10-good close to the album but NOT FUNKY ENOUGH

Suburbia Overture/Greetings From Mary Bell Township!/(Vampire) Culture/Love Me, Normally:

9/10-ITS ONLY CULTUUUUUUREEEEEE!!!! AND IT SLAPS!!!! WILL WOOD COOKED FRFR

2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye.):

8.5/10-this actually introduced me to william woodsmith :explode: the nostalgia is def a factor

Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!):

100/10-hehe gender

I/Me/Myself:

7/10-g e n d e r

…well, better than the alternative:

3/10-very sweet but too slow for my megamind

Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples:

9/10-i did not know this existed??? still kind of a bop

BlackBoxWarrior-OKULTRA:

10000/10-THIS SLAPS HARDER THAN AN ASIAN PARENT WHEN YOU BRING HOME A B

Marsha, Thankk You For the Dialectics, But I Need You To Leave:

7.5/10-me at therapy

Love, Me Normally:

2/10-boring ew tomato tomato

Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world:

8.5/10-SHOW TUNE ABT DEATH AND ITS INEVITABILITY YESSSS

Venetian Blind Man:

8/10-THIS IS SO UNDERRATED?????

Your Body, My Temple:

7.5/10-will wood had his whole willussy out. this song is so unapologetically horny

Yes, To Err Is Human, So Don't Be One:

9/10-silly vampire bop!!

[nancypullen]

Tick Tock

I’m about 24 hours away from what is hopefully my last appointment concerning that stupid kidney stone.  Tomorrow they’ll take out the stent and then we shall never speak of this again.  The removal has to be done at the surgery center even though it’s not surgery, and the whole thing should take just a couple of minutes.  Since I birthed a doctor, I feel free to ask him about the unknowns and this is what he told me when I asked if it really was that quick - “Oh yeah, they’ll yank that thing out like they’re starting a lawn mower.”  Imagine how comforted I was by that.  At this point, I don’t care - just get it out. But enough about all that gross stuff, how are you?  Are you excited to see the December calendar page? Are you loving seeing the Christmas lights and hearing the holiday music?  I AM!  Tonight is Denton’s Christmas parade, and tomorrow night is the Christkindlmarket. What a great way to start the month!  This time tomorrow I’ll be a lot more comfortable and I’m going to be a wrapping, decorating, Christmas tune singing fool.  

But for today, I’ve got some laundry chugging and dinner is in the crock pot.  For Mickey it’s Mongolian Beef, for me dinner will probably be soup.  I made a big pot of chicken soup on Monday and it hits the spot every time.  I don’t know the science behind it, but my tastes have changed drastically over the last month.  We normally eat pretty clean and healthy, I’d say 85% of the time anyway, but now I don’t even crave the other 15%.  I haven’t had a Diet Coke since Halloween and it doesn’t even sound good to me.  I’ve been addicted to Diet Coke since 1984!  Chocolate? Haven’t touched it.  Crunchy, salty stuff - not even popcorn appeals to me and I rarely went a night without a bowl of popcorn.  You know those people that get hit in the head and wake up speaking Swedish or something crazy like that?  This is my version of that.  All I want is fruit and veggies. My lunch today will be red grapes, cucumbers, and maybe a little yogurt.  If I’m really hungry a cup of soup.  Dinner is the same, or I zap a Healthy Choice frozen meal. There’s a Chicken Marinara that I like.  You’d think that thirty days of eating like this would have caused a change in my appearance.  Nope.  I’ve lost a grand total of four pounds.  I swear, scientists should study me.  Anyone else would have wasted away, my sturdy Scots and German DNA is holding steady.  I can identify with this meme.

I guess I’m built for survival.  Ya’ know what? I’m okay with that.  2023 is the year that I stop worrying about it.  I’m going to enjoy good health, a good life, and my wonderful family and dear friends.  I’m going to put my energy into creating art and being happy. You can do all of those things whether your pants are a size 6 or 16.  It. Just. Doesn’t. Matter.   The majority of magazine articles and television commercials are aimed at women and the overwhelming message is that we are not good enough exactly as we are.  They’re counting on us believing that and throwing all of our money at whatever product promises to improve us.  We’re not allowed to wrinkle, sag, gain weight, or ever dare to look our age. I’ve yet to see any ads targeting men with that message.  Sure, you see some stuff for bald guys, but everything else is for erectile dysfunction.  No one is shaming men for their crow’s feet.   For us, it starts before middle school and follows us to the grave - we’re not pretty enough, thin enough, fill-in-the-blank enough.  I’m calling BS on all of that.  Younger women, thankfully,  figured this out before my generation did. They’re out there loving themselves and living their best lives exactly as they are.  Bravo, ladies!  I’m learning so much from you.  I’ve decided to like myself.  Well, that went off the rails, didn’t it?  I didn’t share even half of what I was thinking once I got on my soapbox. You’re welcome.  I actually intended to come here and post my chicken soup recipe (it really is good).  I’ll have to share that tomorrow.  I’m going to have a little lunch and then sit at my desk and create something pretty.  The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and tomorrow I’ll take my pants off in front of strangers for what I hope is the last time for a very long time.  I may have to enter the Witness Protection Program after this.  Sending out loads of love on this first day of December.  I hope that  your hearts are light and your homes are peaceful. Stay safe, stay well.

Nancy 

[theviewfromthebooth]

The Mighty Mojo tracks of 2023: The Bubble List

Being ahead of schedule is a rare treat in any aspect of my life, and for that reason I am embracing my decision to release the Bubble List so soon into December, and so far ahead of the Top 50 that will still be released on New Year’s Eve. Some traditions die hard.

In past years I’ve taken my obsession with capturing the year in its entirety to unnecessary lengths. The speed of other actual publications to crown the year’s best everything was always looked on with disdain, as I scoured my regular channels for new music like a desperate man scanning his phone for dealers at 4am. The thought of missing a banger by going too early disturbed me, in large part to ‘The El Camino incident’, in which my favourite album of 2011 dropped in the first week of December. When RTJ3 appeared on Christmas Eve 5 years later with no warning, it seemed to confirm that I was right and everyone else was wrong. Well, this year, the darndest thing happened. 

I realised that NO ONE ELSE CARES. I have yet to have someone call me up for a song appearing on my list in the wrong year, in the 13 years I’ve been putting this thing together. I need to chill the fuck out. And so I have.

The other handy element to releasing the Bubble list now, is that it comes hot on the heels of Spotify Wrapped, and the annual debate around streaming royalties. I say annual because that’s when everyone gets involved, but there’s been a steady undercurrent throughout the year of artists rebelling against the system to speak out. I have always been supportive of their stance - it’s disgusting to see the disparity in profits between the people who own the platform (and due to many undiscussed deals, this includes most of the major labels) and those who literally power it with their artistic endeavours.

And yet, I’ve always remained within this crooked system, simply because I believed it to be the only place to find the depth of music I was looking for. Last I heard, Tidal was still quite specific, and a lot of the others were only marginally better. And then there was the library of playlists that I’ve built up over the years, an encyclopaedia that I lean on heavily on a day-to-day basis. There’s a playlist for nearly every scenario my mind could possibly imagine, and that has a worth beyond currency.

I can’t ignore the fact that Spotify’s algorithms have also been responsible for exposing me to many of the people on this list. The sheer amount of Aussies that feature is testament to that, and again that’s only possible due to the buy-in of the music community. There are ways that Spotify is helping young artists. But it’s just not enough.

It’s still a bit of an eye-roller to announce your departure from something, but in this instance I’m going to indulge myself. I’m looking at other options, and I suggest you all do too. If you want more detailed info on the reasons why and the best action to take, follow United Musicians and Allied Workers on socials https://linktr.ee/umaw 

*Steps down from soapbox* So, the music then. I really went deep into it this year, racking up over 120 songs in the long list by September. The best part of that is that it meant that I had a long time to live with these songs, sort them in my heart and allow the cream to rise naturally to the top.  Aside from the Aussie invasion there’s no real trends - except more of a push to the extremes of comfort in sound. There’s some mad bits in here, and some initially jarring sounds that eventually connect, and when they do it’s all the more thrilling having taken you to the edge. With so much to choose from it was easy to stay within the hardest boundary of the bubble list - outside the odd superstar feature, these are underground/new artists that aren’t widely known or available. In the wake of the streaming debate it feels more important than ever to shine this little light in their direction.

The full Twitter (Some traditions die hard) thread with links to socials and places to buy music/merch will come next week, and you’ll have the benefit of the whole of December to absorb it all before the next hit. 

See you in a few weeks.

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

if the horror of mordor is that it’s a fundamentally dead place, the horror of beleriand under melkor is that it’s alive. every wild thing, every plant, the land itself, all of it can be bent and shaped to the will of that which wants you gone. woods with vines to choke and trap and strangle, bogs replete with depthless pools and paths that lead nowhere and clouds of mosquitoes that can turn your blood to poison. leave a wound in the open air and by nightfall infection will have set in. goats and sheep are born shrivelled and eyeless. springs that if drunk from will bloat your belly and waste you away to nothing. deer watching with too many eyes, boars running mad and foaming even after they’re felled. just endless possibilities for fear and havoc and destruction, and all of it is intended…there is no comfort in the randomness of nature when nature hates you personally

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

with my whole heart i truly think elwing/eärendil is the most sweepingly romantic ship in the legendarium. like. what if we were the only two people like us ever in the whole world yet by fate and chance and tragedy we found each other. what if we built a home and a life at the ends of the earth and against all odds it was good. what if we knew no help was coming. what if we chose to live anyway. what if i flew through the storm to find you. what if i knew you and held you even in another shape. what if you told me not to follow and i did. what if i let you make the choice for us both. what if you gave up even the touch of the world you loved so we could stay together. what if we saved that world but not for us. what if our love--for each other, for the world--was so strong that it rent the fabric of the universe. what then.

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

cogitating upon the cultural impact of fingolfin's death.. the artistic currency of beautified, emblematized violence. mystery plays with an antiphonal chorus and ritualized movements and acrobats playing morgoth by climbing all over each other; kirtana that go on for seven days, one for each of the sacred blows... the stricken foot and the seven wounds becoming symbols in themselves, put on children's' amulets to ward off evil and on warrior's to encourage valour. soldiers wearing eagle feathers into battle so that even if they fall their bodies won't be desecrated. tapestries and vases and friezes that show fingolfin's ride to angband (or the alternatively popular motif of him riding to mandos) with variation in his resemblance to oromë according to the artist's religiosity.. just the fall of fingolfin being so thoroughly embroidered into noldorin culture in beleriand that even when everyone who remembered him is gone the carvings of oromë sometimes have his face

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

everybody is entitled to their own opinion but when i say lake cuiviénen was just chock full of bioluminescent organisms know that i am speaking from the point of truth..stars in the deep reflecting stars in the sky. elves born in the everlight of valinor only finding out they glow after the darkening vs. their relatives who don’t glow themselves but have always known light as one side of beauty. or something

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

niënor the gothic heroine actually. niënor the final girl forever in the making. niënor who grew up wearing winter clothes in a dark house because fuel was scarce and candles couldn't be wasted. niënor who always stayed indoors because morwen's influence could only reach so far. niënor who spent years with a brother's shadow for a playmate, convinced that her father lived in the woods and was keeping them safe. niënor whose understanding of culture and gender and family and home were mixed up always with dispossession and violence. niënor who understood femininity foremost as liability. niënor for whom bravery was never a question. niënor who was condemned to mourn in two lives. niënor for whom coincidence always aligned. niënor the bad omen; niënor the ill-starred girl, niënor the doomsday deus ex machina who met a dark handsome troubled stranger in a thunderstorm and walked the path of ruin to its end !

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

for real who is haunting the narrative more than míriel. the tengwar and the silmarils and a whole dynasty created because fëanor was maybe the only elf in aman to understand impermanence and loss enough to fear them. the noldorin crown passed on because finwë chose to spare his son another abandonment and died for it. gondolin and nargothrond and nevrast and lindon and hithlum established as realms and the silmaril coming back to valinor because indis had children with a widower. just something about míriel simultaneously being present everywhere in the story and also watching and recording it from outside unnoticed and without the power to ever intervene

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

out of all the sibling relationships in the house of finwë i feel like aredhel and turgon often get short shrift….i mean she went with him in the night with no warning whatsoever so that they could build a city because of a dream he had and then stayed no-contact in that city for hundreds of years while he broke maybe the biggest elven taboo (while ignoring the wishes of the two most important people in his life) and killed the person who took his sister away from him. just more unhinged codependent til-death-do-us-part aredhel and turgon please, i am gnawing on the walls

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

getting in a real crabbysulk about the jockification of celegorm. i think it's largely due to the modern status of hunter characters as invariably sporty non-intellectuals roughing it in the dirt, with hunting itself as a sort of extension to athletic competition. and it can definitely be that! but it can also be a huge extravagant political opportunity to schmooze around in pavilions with servants and rich food and nice clothes and hundreds of people all trying to impress someone important while looking their best on a horse in the most lavish showy harness imaginable. the secondary reason i think is the cause for celegorm being thrown under the himbus (himbo bus) is the desire, conscious or un, for him and curufin to fit the jock/nerd archetype. because curufin is marked out textually as conniving, and therefore intelligent, a perceived dichotomy is set up that can only be fulfilled by celegorm folding up into the role of brawny yes-man or the oft favored handsome and comical jock, who, naturally with neither interest nor capability for slyness, frees up the stage for curufin to play the smartypants manipulator or political mastermind. and this is the one that really gets me. because not only does it erase celegorm’s canonical traits (he’s politically-minded! he’s cunning! he’s nasty and quick-tempered and an active force within the architecture of multiple stories!), but it pushes aside a potentially compelling dynamic in favor of what’s expected. like give me a celegorm who’s the only son of fëanor to join the lambengolmor! give me a celegorm who creates new writing systems to translate canine folktales or transcribe birdsongs! give me a celegorm who’s just as clever and smarmy and obnoxious as curufin but knows how to sneak around without getting noticed! give me a celegorm and curufin who capitalize on peoples’ assumptions about which of them is the one to watch out for! give me nerd celegorm!!

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

i’m sort of enamoured with the cruel servants of celegorm actually. in a story where (a.) we rarely see elves motivated to kill purely out of revenge and (b.) the lord-vassal dynamic is largely shown as strictly either mutual loyalty and affection (ie. finrod-house of bëor) or the vassal was bad from the outset (ie. caranthir-ulfang), they are unique in their role as presumably loving, loyal, til-death-do-us-part companions who are motivated by that love to do a terrible thing—but more importantly, a terrible thing that wasn’t going to accomplish anything. enamoured with the kind of devotion that makes people behave like that….enamoured with an adoration so strong it goes beyond death and cultural taboos and utility…..one of the worst and saddest and most sickening parts of the silm and it was caused by love!!! just bake me into a pie about it!!!

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

i promise promise promise i'm not a freudian but the idea that fëanor hated fingolfin less for his character or even being indis's son and more as a conduit for his anger at finwë is so delicious to me uwugh...míriel cannot be reproached: her absence renders her perfect and inviolate, and given fëanor's intensity around protecting her memory, i think he would see it as a betrayal to be angry or resentful towards her. likewise, finwë also can't be blamed, because fëanor loves him so single-mindedly that it would seem a terrible disloyalty to consider that he could've done anything wrong. of course indis can be hated, but she's fulfilling a role both familially and societally different from finwë's, and freudian projection is neater when things line up. and fingolfin is right there! looking like finwë, acting like finwë, bearing finwë's name etc etc! and to make matters worse, he's also in fëanor's position, so we can stick some good good rival/usurper feelings in there too!

while we're told that fingolfin and fëanor are extremely dissimilar in personality, i think there's significant textual evidence, at least in some respects, to the contrary, (fingolfin's ride-or-die loyalty to fëanor, his willingness to brave an icy wasteland without any preparation, and his charge at morgoth are all actions that parallel what we know of fëanor's character--the attachment to family, the headlong impulsivity, the bitter hatred of melkor). there's very little about fingolfin to attract anger from fëanor, given that his parentage was hardly his fault. but fëanor is angry at finwë for abandoning míriel (who has the dubious honor of obliquely standing in for fëanor too in this instance), and angry at míriel for abandoning him, and fingolfin is right there!!!! and he can be blamed!!! and it's such a relief to finally blame someone that he never stops

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

mutual detestation maglor and fingon consuming me this eve.. they aren't obnoxious about it, for appearances' sake and for maedhros's, but they both Know. fingon thinks maglor is a disgusting, morally defunct coward who would've happily seen maedhros dead for a lick at power and did the next best thing by giving him up for irretrievable; maglor hates fingon for having something of maedhros that he doesn't and for having succeeded where he failed—at being rescuer-beloved, at being commander and king and son—besides detesting him as a sanctimonious social climber fooling everyone with a purity act turned inside-out to hide the stains wee hee... they despise each other so much to begin with and then fingon wins in perpetuity by dying (maglor is a good enough performer to cry and tear his clothes before an empty catafalque and act touched when maedhros gives him fingon's third-best parure) !

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

personally fond of both transmasc maeglin (sometimes i am guilty of certain tendencies. we shan't say which ones) and cis maeglin (the perilous allure of being Just Like Your Daddy is real and wants you) but ummm. closeted transfem maeglin currently consuming me down to the bones ! maeglin who has no idea whether he wants to fall into bed with idril or beat her bloody or crawl inside her skin and hates her because she's everything he ever wanted embodied and because her existence epitomizes the reality that he was never going to be the one to inherit his mother