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#everybody loves our town
guavabat · 1 year
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God this is so fucking funny
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Incoming rant about a dumb thing I read on the internet
I just saw the stupidest comment about how the Seattle music scene of the 80s/90s wasn’t natural and even the big popular grunge bands were actually trend chasers who moved to Seattle specifically to get big because I guess they could predict that the Seattle music scene was going to blow up and they were all going to get record deals. And the evidence this person posted was just... listing everyone’s birthplace and noting that only Stone Gossard and Chris Cornell were born in Seattle.
Most big grunge artists were from Washington even if they weren’t specifically from Seattle. Like shocker people from small towns or the suburbs are going to want to move to a big city where there is an actual music scene. But wanting a music scene isn’t the same as knowing big labels are going to be all over the place in a few years and they didn’t flock to Seattle because they knew it was going to be the next big thing they went to Seattle because it was the nearest big city. “Oh wow can you believe Layne Staley is from Kirkland not from Seattle” wow he’s from a SEATTLE suburb, he’s from the SEATTLE metropolitan area but shame on him for not being born in the Seattle city limits what a poser 🙄
Implying Mike McCready is a trend chaser because he was *gasp* born in Florida even though his family moved to Seattle when he was a CHILD. He spent most of his life in Seattle, he and Stone knew each other as kids. But uh oh he wasn’t born in Seattle. They also called out Krist Novoselic for being born in California even though he moved to Aberdeen in high school. 
Even people from out of state who moved to the area as adults weren’t trend chasers. Like even if they knew about Seattle’s local music scene and wanted to be apart of it doesn’t mean they were trend chasing, no one in the early 80s knew Seattle’s music scene was going to blow up the way it did. And  the reason the scene did blow up the way it did it because of the talent and hard work of people involved in the scene. But I guess since most of them committed the terrible sin of not being born in Seattle that makes them posers and trend chasers 🙄
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eowylesbian · 1 year
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dying to get out of my small town partially because i think my school uniform skirt could be really cute if styled well but i could never wear it around here outside of school because everyone would be like ?? why are you in your uniform ??
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fuking love all my besties. love my fellow gay kid the whole school knew about bestie. talk about shared trauma.
but please we have to stop turning up to things in the same fuking outfits. the twink/dyke same clothes joke is funny untill you are wearing exactly the same outfit in exactly the same colours. like man i stopped wearing jeans so the flannel/tshirt/jeans outfit match should stop. but noo hoodie/tshirt/cargos now. the exact same shade of red on the hoodie to. do not want to fuel the twins joke. glasses and a few inches of hair/height are the only way to tell us apart we cannot keep wearing the same clothes.
twinks and dykes are visually indistinguishable is all fun and games until you arnt wearing your glasses and acquaintances cant tell you apart. until you wear the exact same clothes independantly
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Pickup Truck
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summary: frankie hates your boyfriend. in fact, everybody does. but he’s willing to give him a chance. you’re his best friend, after all. until frankie discovers something he can never forgive.
pairing: frankie morales x f!reader
ratings/warnings: 18+. MDNI. this fic contains allusions to, but no descriptions of, domestic abuse. please do not proceed if you know this will upset you.
frankie's pov. no lady and no baby for our boy. drinking, violence (against pos bf), angst, lots of hurt, allusions to dv. comfort, fluff. frankie to the rescue. unprotected p in v (wrap it irl!). oral, f receiving. creampie. bad spanish (again). kings of leon references. happy ending, of course.
wc: 9.8k
an: whew, this was an emotional one to write. but i hope a good love comes to all of you in time, no matter where you are at the moment. and if you already have it, may it always keep you safe. lovely divider from @saradika.
Frankie really doesn’t like your boyfriend.
Scratch that. Nobody does.
Nobody really knows where you found him, either. A sweet, smart girl like you, moved back to your small town from your big city life, and it looks like you picked up the very first guy who sidled up to you in a grimy bar.
Which, if you’re really honest, is exactly what happened. Because he was nice at first. Real nice. He was charming and sweet and interested - he bought you drinks all night and didn’t push to come in when he walked you home. You went for dinner a few times, and sure, he could be a little rude to the waitstaff, but it was only because he was so focused on you. He bought you flowers and took you for rides, and sure, sometimes he’d come home far too drunk after seeing his friends and get a little too close, a little too loud, but he always apologised.
And sure, he sometimes made you cry, but he always made it up to you. Sweet promises, small gifts. And he'd never laid a finger on you.
Not until last week, anyway.
You don’t know what to do. You don’t know who to turn to. The thought of it makes you so sick you have to lock yourself in the bathroom at work. How did this happen? How did it turn so sour?
And how do you get out?
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Walk you home to see
Where you're livin' around
And I know this place
Frankie walks you home from the bonfire. He always does.
It’s his favourite moment of the night.
He gets to have you all to himself. Gets to watch your cheeks cool in the night air, watch as the blush from the heat of the fire subsides. Your giddy, wide eyes, your tipsy babbling about stories which had been swapped over the flames, picking out particularly scandalous details for you two to giggle about before doubling over into breathless laughter over something Benny had said. 
He likes to hold your elbow, your hand, as you catch him in your amusement, gripping onto his bicep. He loves to lose himself in this little pocket of time with you.
He loves the sparkle of the stars, the glow of the streetlights as they light your features.
Frankie loves you.
And he’s so glad you’ve moved back from your life in the big city to come and be around your real friends again. So glad that you’ve all found your way back to each other. Tonight has left him with such a mellow tingle in his bones that he finds he can’t stop smiling at you, looking at you, on your walk home.
Bonfire nights have always been your monthly hangout, a time when you can be sure you’ll get the whole gang together. There used to be more of you through highschool, and still a fair few during college. It dipped when the boys joined the forces, when people moved further east and further north. But eventually Frankie, Benny, Santi, and Will had come back. Jessa, your other best friend, had returned too. A few others coming and going - Lily, Marcus, Maggie - also back and forth from their new homes to their old ones. And then eventually folk had just… settled. 
Frankie felt like he was one of the last, like he was maybe the one finding it the hardest, retired to a life of civvy duties. Unable to hold down a girlfriend, struggling to stick at a job, sofa surfing around friends’ places. He was still flying whenever he could, but then this coke allegation happened, and it was like the world was finally swept from under him. 
You were the first person he had called, the first person to talk him down from his panic, that debilitating squeeze around his heart when he thought about the future. The first person who made him feel like it would be okay.
So of course his joy when you had come back had been immeasurable. Maybe this time, he’d thought.
And then you’d met Tanner.
He’s pulled from his thoughts as you drag your hand out of his, skipping a little further up the dark street until you reach a corner. Frankie watches as you spin on the spot in the quiet neighbourhood, gesturing down the pathway before you. 
‘This is me.’ You say.
But you don’t turn to keep walking. You watch him, a small, excited smile on your lips. Like you’re waiting for him to work it out. 
Frankie drags his eyes from you, away from thoughts of your new boyfriend, to look up and down the street you’ve led him to, and for a second he is pulled beneath the ebbing flow of memory, towed with the riptide of things forgotten. 
This is his grandmother’s street. Was his grandmother’s street.
The cracked concrete, the peeling paint of the porches. The weeds, the flowers, the smell.
He breathes your name like you’re the only thing tethering him to the now.
Breathes your name through the bright, sunny flashes of his childhood. His mama bringing him here with his brother, his papa swinging him by his legs in the flower-riddled front garden. Cartoons in the ripe heat of the afternoons, him and his cousins stuffing their faces with Guagitas and Frugele until they’d made themselves sick while the younger siblings napped in the sunbeams of the bedroom next door. Cycling over on his bike after school to sit at her kitchen table to do his homework, letting her fuss over him - his height, his friends, his grades, girls -
A skinnier, younger Frankie stopping by his abuela’s house with you to pick up her up for his nineteenth birthday party, along with her homemade tamales, her chiles rellenos, and specially made pumpkin sopaipillas for later on. The way you had chatted to her, natural, easy going, how you had made her laugh, her eyes sparkle. How, when you had taken some of the plates to the car, his abuela had pinched his cheek. I like her, she’d said, Será tuya algún día, mm, mijo? And Frankie had flushed bright red, batting her arms away as she chuckled at him. He had hidden in the back bedroom when you came in from outside, and listened a little longer to your conversation as he waited for the heat of his face to die down. When he reemerged, you had helped his grandmother into her shoes, her cardigan, and kept ahold of her arm until she got into Frankie’s beat up old car. At the end of the night, his abuela had kissed both your cheeks several times, rocked you back and forth in a hug, and clapped her hands as she said how she looked forward to seeing you again.
When you came home from college every summer, you’d have tea with her in her garden. She always asked Frankie about you, about how you are doing. When he told her you were coming home, she’d been so excited. Quizás este sea el momento? She’d said to him, squeezing his hand. He’d smiled, his heart quietly full of hope. Tal vez, abuela, he’d said.
When he called you two weeks later, his voice weak from crying, to tell you that she’d passed, you had been heartbroken. And it seemed like her wish, the red thread she’d seen between the two of you, had been snipped, too.
Pour yourself on me
And you know I'm the one
That you won't forget
Frankie likes to listen to you talk, because he’s never much been one for talking. 
He supposes you just bring it out of him, though. Because here on this street, in the moonlight, he tells you more about his grandmother. You spend hours walking up and down the pavement as he recounts every story he can remember; him and his brother, his parents, aunts and uncles, cousins. Birthdays, weddings, funerals. The street comes alive with the ghosts of people, the spectres of feelings. You and Frankie talk of growing up. Of falling in love. Of each other. 
Your small, well-loved house is half way down the street, four up from his abuela’s. It does something strange to his heart to have two of his favourite people, who loved each other in their own ways, so close but so far away. 
Your fingers hold his wrist as he shows you a scar on his palm from eating shit on his bike when he was eight, and when he looks up, your eyes are shining under the streetlights. There is a glint of moon in your teeth, and a shocking want so clear on your face, but when he meets your eye there is suddenly hesitation, a realisation, a shuttering. Frankie stops his story. There is a moment, and then it slips away like sand.
You shiver, chilled all of a sudden, and wrap your arms around yourself. Frankie tries not to look too hard at the goose bumps blossoming on your bare skin, tries to fight off the urge to kiss the little raises until you’re warm again under his touch.
‘Cold?’ he asks, and you smile back up at him. God, his heart.
‘As a hole,’ you giggle, and he feels himself smile goofily back at you. ‘We gotta warm up.’ You say, and then freeze.
It takes Frankie a little while longer to hear the inadvertent invitation in your words.
Boyfriend. Boyfriend.
You both stand on the porch, frozen, like some great frost has swept over the land. If Frankie squints, he can imagine the glitter of your eyeshadow, now fallen, dusted on your cheeks, is a collective of tiny constellations of ice. 
Your body is wracked with a shiver again, but when Frankie looks you in the eye, you’re burning up from the inside. He swallows.
If he could only make the steps towards you. If he could only will his heavy feet to move, if he could summon his nerves to do exactly what his brain says, he would already be in front of you. He would have your face in his hands, be able to look into your eyes to see that deep, hidden want again, and kiss you. Again and again and again, and he wouldn’t stop, because things like that shitty boyfriend of yours wouldn’t matter anymore.
No. The whole world would be glitter and stars and constellations of ice crystals.
And then you blink, smile softly, and wish him a goodnight.
When he can finally lift his foot to move, your door is already closed.
And in your denim eyes
I see that something's awry
And I see you’re weak
You don’t see Frankie for a while after that, always finding a way to brush off his attempts to hang out. 
At first he doesn’t worry too much about it. You’ve just moved back - you have a new job, a new place, new friends to get to know. Tanner. 
Frankie finds other things to do. He gets business cards made up for the flying school he’ll be setting up next month. He pilots people across the state, sometimes across the country. He sees the boys for drinks, even sees Jessa for a coffee. He starts to worry when they say their texts have gone mostly unanswered, and they haven’t seen you either.
It must be why he turns up on your front step one day, a six pack in hand. 
You open the door on the second ring of the doorbell, and Frankie finds himself rendered speechless. You look… different.
Tired and wary, a little thinner. And when he gets you chatting, you say you haven’t really been anywhere, done anything. You’ve been settling in, getting used to it. You have two beers each, but you seem on edge, like you’re waiting for a knock on the door. And then Frankie asks about Tanner, and your eyes linger on the entryway a little longer.
‘Yeah,’ you say, ‘He’s okay.’
Frankie’s jaw twitches, his stomach clenching uncomfortably.
‘Just okay?’ He asks. 
Because you should be excited. You should be gushing and giddy and falling in love. But you’re not.
‘Yeah,’ you shrug. ‘He’s good.’
There’s something in your eyes. Something which shrinks away, skitters back. Something drained, something sapped of life, of energy. Hurt, maybe. Fear, perhaps.
When Frankie thinks back now, he knows he should have pressed you harder. Maybe should have taken you to his, made you talk a little more for a little longer. Away from Tanner, the threat of his presence. But he didn’t. He didn’t.
And he hates himself for it.
When he comes around
I see you're fixin' to shine
And my face won't speak
When Frankie next sees you, you’ve had a hair cut, and there are deep, dark bags under your eyes. Both of these things worry him equally. 
Your beautiful hair that you’d been growing out since you were young, hair that you swore you’d never cut shorter than it was in seventh grade, when your mum had to chop it into a bob after you got gum caught in it. And here it is now, much shorter. 
Jessa says she likes it, and you give her a watery smile, a weak thank you. She asks where you had it done, when. She asks if you like it, and you shrug. You say you’re trying something new. You say Tanner likes it.
Over your shoulder, Frankie exchanges a look with Santi.
You’re quiet the whole time you're at the bar. Far too quiet, so far from the bubbly conversation you usually hold, your loud cackle, your bent-double amusement. Your affection for your friends - the hands on knees, arms around shoulders, kisses pressed to cheeks. It’s hardly there. 
Frankie offers to walk you home, but you wave him off kindly. Tanner’s picking me up, you say, he’s probably outside. Jessa frowns at you.
‘Are you sure, babe?’ She says. ‘It’s not even late yet.’
You smile and nod at her, gather your stuff to go. Jessa catches your arm.
‘We’re still on to go shopping Saturday, though - right?’ 
You smile at her, the first warm one you’ve mustered all night.
‘Of course,’ you say, ‘I’m looking forward to it.’ 
When you stand to leave, you hug everybody goodbye. Tightly, for longer than usual. Frankie doesn’t give you an option when he walks you out to Tanner’s car. The smug prick is hanging out the driver’s seat window. He watches Frankie as you walk up, hostile, threatening, arrogant, and somehow still ridiculous. And, Frankie thinks cruelly - ugly.
Frankie pulls you into his arms a few steps away from your boyfriend. He kisses your hair, and you sigh.
‘Have a good time on Saturday,’ he says softly. You twitch a smile at him. 
‘Thank you, Frankie.’ You say before stepping back and walking to open the passenger door. As you climb in, Tanner winks at him. 
‘Gettin’ a new one tomorrow,’ he says, stupid fucking grin on his face. ‘New car. Exciting stuff. Anyway, better get this one back,’ he says, squeezing your knee a little too hard. You don’t look at Frankie, something like humiliation colouring your cheeks. ‘See you around, Frank.’ Tanner says.
Frankie steps back from the car as it glides forwards, and he watches it disappear up the street. 
Deep anger burns in him. And a kind of fear. It crawls over his skin, cooling the sides of his neck. His heart churns uncomfortably in his chest.
He tells your friends about it when he returns to the table. And they form a plan. Jessa texts you a time she’ll pick you up on Saturday. You say you’re excited again, you need some new clothes.
But Frankie knows Jessa won’t take you shopping. 
No, she brings you here, to the beach, to the bonfire. To him, to Santi and Benny and Will. Because they’re worried.
So worried, they tell you.
They sit you down in one of the chairs around the fire, and they explain why they’re worried. They tell you they love you - so much - and they just need to know if you’re okay. Because they can help. They want to help, want you out of this, because he’s not good for you. The silence, the hair, the clothes you were going to buy. They tell you they hate the way he doesn’t let you speak, how he speaks to you. And you are so quiet through all of it, Frankie begins to get more worried. He speaks to you gently over the fire, but you can’t meet his eye. He tells you his worries, their love for you again. He swallows down his own confession, anything to make you see. How they don’t want you pushed closer to him, want you to be pulled closer to them instead.
But your eyes are so vacant, so far away, that Jessa leaves her deckchair next to you to sit on the burned up log closer to you on your other side. She takes your hands, and you finally, finally look at her. You open your mouth, and you say so quietly -
‘You’re right. You’re right.’ 
It feels like the biggest gulp of oxygen Frankie has ever taken. He feels lightheaded from the relief, from the knowledge. They were right, they were right, which is a terrible, terrible thing.
Will clears his throat, and Frankie looks at him to see similar thoughts flicking over his face like film reel. He licks his lips, opens his mouth, and -
Hate to be so emotional
I didn't aim to get physical
But when he pulled in and revved it up
I said, ‘You call that a pickup truck?’
And in the moonlight I throwed him down
Kickin', screamin' and rollin' around
A little piece of a bloody tooth
Just so you know I was thinking of you
Whatever Will is about to say is cut short by the sweep of headlights over the brush near the dunes. 
A beat up old pickup truck bumps up the track and pulls up alongside Will’s Ranger. The driver’s side window slides down, and Tanner’s face emerges from the gloom. He revs the engine loudly, making you and Jessa jump. A sick feeling curls in Frankie’s stomach as he watches him, this piece of shit who’s been so busy crushing you down. 
Tanner leaps out of the truck, and slams the door. Frankie looks over at you, visibly panicked on the other side of the fire. How the fuck did he find you?
‘Hey baby,’ Tanner says, sickly sweet as he strolls towards you, ducking to press a kiss to your unresponsive mouth. He turns to the rest of the group, eyes skating over Will and Ben until they land on Frankie. Tanner steps towards him, offers his hand.
‘Good to see you again, Frank,’ he says, ‘Told you I’d be getting a new ride.’ 
Frankie stares at his hand. He takes a deep swig of his beer, breathing deeply before looking Tanner in the eye, refusing to shake it.
‘I’m surprised to see you.’ He says to the dirty-haired man.
Tanner tries his best to appear unfazed, but there’s a glimmer of something hot behind his eyes.
‘’Course man, wanted to show off the new pickup.’ He says, grinning broadly. He looks around again, eyes falling hungrily on Jessa. She shifts uncomfortably on the log, rearranging her body so there’s less for him to look at. A deep heat begins to rise in Frankie’s chest.
He glances again at the ancient car that Tanner’s driven up in. The front bumper almost hanging off, the red paint aged and scratched, bumps caved in all up the sides, the roof sagging. 
‘You call that a pickup truck?’ Frankie says lightly. Tanner narrows his eyes at him, angry, before he catches the sound of Santi’s laugh.
He whirls around to the other man and spits -
‘Who the fuck are you?’
Frankie almost laughs, too. Almost.
Pope spreads his hands. He looks up at him through his brows, a glint in his eyes that Frankie is violently familiar with. You must notice it, too, because you clear your throat and say -
‘Santi’s one of my friends.’
Tanner doesn’t even look at you. Just keeps staring at Pope. 
The moment seems to last an eternity. Frankie feels like he’s watching everything through sludge, like he’s in someone else’s dream. His whole body is on edge, vibrating, ready to lunge - he’s just not sure at who. He looks between the two men before he catches your eye through the flames. The adrenaline in Frankie’s heart gutters at the look of panic in your eyes.
Please don’t let them do this. Please help me stop it.
Frankie glances back to Pope, and says, so softly only he can hear it -
‘Pope.’ 
And Santi immediately looks away, taking a swig of his beer.
Tanner stands there still, clearly baffled at Santi’s sudden lack of interest. Then he turns to the rest of the group like a petulant child, a toddler who has been ostensibly robbed of its favourite toy.
‘It’s a good truck,’ he says, before turning to you. ‘Ain’t it, baby?’
You hum your agreement as Tanner scoops a beer from the pile by Will’s chair, shucking off the top with his teeth. Jessa looks away, disgusted. He settles himself in the deckchair at your side.
‘Y’aint allowed to touch it, of course, sugar,’ he says to you, before laughing into his bottle. ‘Ruin everything you come into, anyway. Root of all my problems, ain’t ya?’ Tanner takes a pull of his beer. The group is silent around him. Around you. Tanner notices.
‘Boy, fun bunch you are.’ 
You look at him through your eyelashes.
‘Baby, that’s enough.’ You say as softly as possible, and Frankie cringes at the pet name. 
Tanner looks at you sharply. Dark, furious. It’s in the pinch of his jaw, the anger at what you’ve said so obviously rolling around in his skull.
Frankie hates him for it. And he hates that he hates him for it. There are already so many things he hates him for, but he’s so fucking stupid it’s almost funny. Not your equal in any way. In kindness, in conversation or in intellect. And not even willing to try. To learn. For you. Just trying to dumb you down instead, squash you into smaller, more digestible bites to chew on. 
When it comes down to it, Tanner has nothing smart to say back. He just pushes a short breath from his nostrils and mutters out a little -
‘Well, well, well.’
Then he flexes his fingers against the chair, and you flinch. 
You flinch hard, your brows coming together, chin scrunching, waiting for the blow to land. And when it doesn’t, your eyes flicker open slowly. Hollow, bereft, drained and dim. 
Tanner hasn’t noticed, but everyone else has.
The awful unveiling of your last secret.
Frankie forces the bile down his throat. His head swings forward to the ground of its own accord, a faint, resonant ringing in his ears. When he looks at his hands, they aren’t his own. In fact, he recognises no part of his body as the ringing gets louder, as he gently places his beer bottle on the floor. When his eyes leave the dirt, the mix of faces around the fire are all mirror reflections of each other. Horror, disgust, grief. Grief that this is what you hid from them, this is what they have taken too long to pull you from. The burning building splintering around you, your shell of a body immovable in the middle. 
You won’t meet his eye. You won’t meet anyone’s eye as your hand shakes around your bottle. Jessa notices. She stares at your trembling fingers for too long, but she can hardly say anything. None of them can. Her eyes shine like beacons from her seat, wet with tears. Frankie sees her bottom lip quiver, her chin dimple. And then she swallows, swallows again, and reaches for your hand.
You flinch again, softer this time, and Frankie is sure everyone around the fire - everyone in the town, the world, must hear his heart crack. Because he feels it so keenly, so deeply, that it takes the air from his lungs. His breath is caught in his throat, and no matter how hard he tries to draw it, it seems impossible to claw it down. He’s drowning. He’s drowning right here in front of everybody, and it makes it all the worse to know that this is how you must feel. Every damn day.
Come on, he hears Jessa say, Let’s go and get another drink. And through the dark swirling of his mind he watches the two of you stand slowly and disappear towards the back of Frankie’s truck. He waits until Jessa has you hidden from view, her arms around your hunched back as you bring your hands to your face - crying - and that’s when the thread snaps.
Frankie gets to his feet, slowly.
Pope and Will watch him. Benny is still staring at Tanner.
Tanner looks up at him, chin jutted out, smirking as Frankie approaches. 
He’s challenging him. He’s waiting for a war of words, for the shouting to begin, for the insults, the observations to fly.
He expected the wrong war from a soldier.
The first punch sprawls him out of his seat. It makes a satisfying cracking sound, and the first trickle of blood starts to bleed from behind his lip.
Then Frankie kicks him. He kicks him hard in the ribs, making sure he doesn’t have enough time to recover from the punch to deflect Frankie’s boot. 
Tanner clutches at his abdomen, wheezing, gazing up at Frankie with bewildered eyes. Fucking coward.
Frankie grabs him by the front of his shirt, pulls him upwards. He has nothing to say to him, but the fury he feels, this deep, endless, swirling pit of rage, he lets him see. He lets it fill him from the soles of his feet all the way up through his eyes, and he lets it bleed out. He lets the blackness flood the ground. He lets Tanner watch it, lets it petrify him, and then Frankie swings again. Tanner takes it on his chin this time, his jaw snapping closed, and when it goes lax, a couple jagged bits of tooth fall out. Frankie grunts in satisfaction and swings again, again, until blood spouts from Tanner’s eyebrow and his cheek begins to bruise and swell. Frankie breathes deeply, in rhythm, doesn’t even feel it when Tanner manages to land a lucky punch to his eye socket. He plants a knee into the other man’s crotch, lands him an elbow to the back of his head when he keels over, and then shoves him to the ground. Frankie gets on the floor with him, raining blows down on Tanner’s body, his face. He’s methodical about it, a punch to each eye, the crack of the cunt’s nose, one to either side of his mouth, then bloodying up his jaw. He’s aware, somewhere, that Tanner is screaming. Strangled, gargling sounds trying to claw up his throat. And then he’s aware of two pairs of hands around each armpit, dragging him away, pulling him up. Will is saying something in his ear, that’s enough, Frankie, alright now, and Benny is speaking, too, panicked - you’ll kill him, Fish, come on man.
Frankie blinks, really looks at Tanner where he lays bleeding on the dirt. His eyes already swelling, a couple more teeth scattered on the ground next to him. His face different shades of red and purple, a mess of a man, and Frankie is pleased. He could keep going. He wants to see him bleed much, much more. Will and Benny keep their grip on him.
‘Leave,’ Frankie growls, low, without a quiver in his voice. ‘And don’t you ever come back. You ever look at her again, I’ll gouge out your fuckin’ eyes. You ever touch her again, I’ll break every bone in your body. I’ll make sure they don’t find anything left of you.’
Tanner doesn’t say anything, which must be the only smart thing he’s ever done in his life. But he still doesn’t move.
The four men watch him for a moment, the silence heavy, broken only by the crackle of wood and Tanner’s heavy, wet breaths.
Then Benny lets Frankie go, steps forward and picks the man up by his collar, swinging him around to the direction of his truck. He throws him down on the dirt.
‘Move,’ he spits. ‘Get out of here. And if you have the courage on the way, wrap your fucking truck around a telephone pole.’
Tanner finally has the good sense to crawl over to the vehicle. He hauls himself up the scarred body work before creaking open the driver’s door and slipping inside. The truck sputters to life, yellow bulbs flooding the bonfire site again before it quickly backs away, turns, and drives off. Frankie watches its blinking red brake lights until he’s sure the cunt is gone, and then he turns around.
You’re stood with Santi’s arms wrapped around you, back from the fire where Tanner’s blood is drying. Pope strokes your hair, squeezes you tightly as your body shudders. And Frankie can only stare. 
Minutes might have passed. Hours. And Frankie is terrified. Terrified that he’s scared you, broken you, pushed you away. And then you turn your face on Pope’s chest, moving your head from shoulder to shoulder, and you’re looking at him. Eyes red-rimmed and raw, face flushed and damp, and it’s like Frankie’s trance breaks.
Frightened, he takes a step forward. He breathes your name.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says, and you shake your head. Fuck. What has he done? What has he allowed himself to do? ‘I’m sorry, querida, please - I know, I know -’ but what does he know? He looks to Santi, pleading for help, and the man offers him a small smile as you step out of his arms. 
Through a fog, you come towards him. Your chin wobbles. Your eyes swim. You’re a little wide-eyed, a little shocked. And something else, something beyond his reach. 
You get to him, and your arms make their silken way around his middle as you begin to cry. Hot tears stain the front of his shirt, and he cradles you to him, holding your skull gently, enveloping your abdomen. A loud sob looses from your ribs.
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers, ‘I didn’t mean to scare you.’ You wrap your arms around him tighter, press your nose into his sternum.
‘I’m not scared of you, Frankie,’ you sob into his chest. He clutches at the back of your head, holds you even closer, strokes your hair. When you speak again your voice is higher, strained with your tears. ‘I could never be scared of you.’
The sting in Frankie’s throat becomes hot, burning. He doesn’t know whether to pull you impossibly closer or to push you away, to run as far as he can from your broken, heaving body in his arms. Because what he’s done should scare you. It should. He’d lost all control. The only thing he’d been able to see, to feel was his all-consuming, depthless fury. And Tanner’s face as it splintered, bloodied, swelled. And he’d wanted to keep going, until there was just pulp. No nerve endings, no teeth, no eyes, no mouth, no body that he could ever hurt you with again. He doesn’t want you to hurt any more.
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers into your hair.
Trembling misery
And as cold as a hole
I hug your bones and skin
Frankie holds your hand the whole way home, the drive passing in a dazed silence.
You still don’t talk when you get to his place, when he unlocks the door, lets you in, and locks it behind him. You take his hand in the quiet cool of the house, lead him upstairs. He follows, slowly, sore, exhausted. Trying to process it all.
When you reach the landing, you turn on the bathroom light, and he trails behind you. He stands propped against the sink as you dig around in his medicine cabinet, finding wipes and bandages and anything else you think might be useful. You take Frankie’s hand again, examine his bruised, bleeding and swollen knuckles with solemn eyes. You are so gentle, twisting his hand in the light, inspecting. You look over it for a while, and Frankie watches you. When you reach for an antiseptic wipe, your hand is shaking.
Frankie winces silently when you start to dab at the blood on his knuckles, cleaning it away with minute swipes. You chase the dried rivulets of blood down his fingers, over his palm. The scar there from when he ate shit riding his bike.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says. You ignore him, breathing shallowly as you inspect his hand, holding his wrist, cleaning blood which is no longer there.
‘Might be a hairline fracture or two,’ you say, distant. ‘I won’t bandage it, gonna let it dry out first. But you’ll need to rest it. And we’ll need to ice your eye.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he says again, into your hair. You shake your head, and the light catches the different colours in every strand. Frankie’s throat tightens.
‘Please stop apologising.’ You whisper.
A shaky breath pushes itself from between Frankie’s lips.
‘No, querida,’ he says softly, ‘It wasn’t right. Shouldn’t have done it. And I shouldn’t have let you see -’ he swallows thickly, throat bobbing. He looks over your head at the white tiles behind you as your grip on his wrist tightens. You still don't look up at him. ‘But it’s not how you treat someone you love. Not how it should be. Should be protecting them, treating them right, loving them the way you love -’ him. He cuts himself off, because he realises as he says it he’s wrong. So wrong.
Right to be like you in your gentleness. In your care, your touch, your tenderness, your loving. But Tanner deserved none of those things. He didn’t deserve your faith, didn’t deserve your protection or your silence either. None of it. 
He closes his eyes.
An image of you flickers through Frankie’s mind. Your fingers on his wrist as they are now, your eyes shining under the streetlights. The glint of your teeth, and the want so clear on your face, then the hesitation, the fear, the shuttering - 
And if only he had kissed you then. If only you had taken him inside. He could have shown you what it was supposed to feel like. He could have saved you from the hurt, the fear which lay ahead.
There’s a splash of warmth on the pale skin of the underside of his forearm, and he opens his eyes again. You’re still hunched over his hand, but your movements have stilled. Frankie waits, confused, before another warm drop lands on his arm and you hiccup a sob out. He whispers out your name, and you turn your face up to him, devastated.
Frankie’s face crumples, and your grip on his wrist loosens enough for him to lift his hands to your face and cup your cheeks.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says, ‘I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said it. I wasn’t thinking -’
‘You think I love him?’ You croak.
Frankie’s jaw works around his next sentence, his next thoughts. He tries to process what this means. That look in your eyes, your tears, your implication. His lips move, but no sound comes out.
‘I don’t love him, Frankie,’ you choke, ‘I don’t. Christ - I don’t think I ever did, I never could -’ you suck in a deep, stuttered breath. ‘I’ve never - never hated anyone more. I couldn’t stand him, couldn’t have him near me, couldn’t have him touch me -’ Frankie flinches at your words. ‘But I was so scared. And embarrassed. I didn’t know how to leave - I didn’t know how to tell anybody about what was going on. I was terrified of what he’d do. To me, to you guys, if he found out I’d spoken about it. And he made it so hard for me to see you, so hard for me to get away.’ You sob now, panic and relief forcing out your words. ‘I thought - wherever I go, he’ll find me. He’ll track me down, and he’ll bring me back - and somehow - somehow that was worse than if he tracked me down and - and - I don’t know, killed me or something -’
Frankie’s eyes shutter. He can’t even follow your thought, so awful is the image, the gaping emptiness. He pulls you close, he lets you cry. Curled into his chest, your body wracking with tears, shaking, tense and uncontrollable, the sounds you make rooting in his brain. They file themselves away in a box where very few things go. Deployment. Tom. The darkness after his investigation. You break and break in his arms, and it’s all he can do to hold the pieces of you together. To press kisses to your head, breathe in the smell of your hair, rub his hands over your back, cradle you like a child. 
He doesn’t know how long the two of you stand there for. He waits until you stop sobbing, stop crying softly, stop hiccuping, stop sniffing. He waits for a few more minutes in the silence, too. And when he pulls away, he presses a long, sweet kiss to your forehead. 
You blink up at him through red, swollen eyes.
‘You’re safe here.’ He says, and you nod.
‘I know. Thank you. For - everything.’ You say thickly. Frankie swallows, nods. You know it all anyway. Any time, for however long you need.
He pads downstairs to get you a glass of water, and while he’s pouring it, he can hear you blow your nose, wash your face. Somehow, they are the most perfect sounds in the world.
Crackling wood’s gone white
And my eye swole up now
I can see the light
Frankie gives you one of his sleep-stretched t-shirts and an old pair of shorts for you to wear to bed. 
The clothes dwarf you a little, and he can’t wipe the small, thrilled smile from his face, even when he looks away. You look fucking adorable. 
You giggle at him every time you see it, your little what? only making him smile harder. It stretches his mouth until it hurts and his cheeks start to cramp up, squishing his swollen eye. Stop he tries to say, but it comes out as an equally breathless huff of laughter - and that only makes you giggle more. So much so that he sweeps you up into his arms to stash you under the covers, and you laugh even harder as he tucks the sheets in tight around you, just like his mama used to do when she wanted him to stay put. 
He looks down at you from the side of the bed, hands on his hips, and you laugh back at him - eyes shining, mouth open in wide hoots of delight, your hands coming up in a desperate attempt to contain yourself. He points a finger at you.
‘You need to calm down,’ he says, voice tight with bridled amusement. ‘It’s bedtime.’
But you cackle back at him, this glorious puddle of sunshine in his bed, only howls of laughter for a response. Unable to help himself, he returns your joy, turning off the bedside lamps to slip in beside you.
In the darkness, your snorts subside into ragged breaths, and you turn on your side to look at him. You study him as though you never want to forget a single line on his face; such warmth, such affection in your eyes that Frankie’s whole body swells and lifts.
You take his hand beneath the sheets and hold it between your faces, smiling softly at him.
The first and only girl he’s really ever loved. This brilliant, fierce, bright, intelligent woman damped down by the waste of fucking space who had bled by the fire. At the thought of it, Frankie feels his heart fall out of his chest, down through the floorboards, and plummet towards the middle of the earth.
And finally, he begins to cry.
He tries to stop it, he really does. It’s selfish, he thinks, so awful and selfish to cry in front of you when it’s you who should be wrapped in his arms, swept away by emotion again if you needed to be, safe and warm and unworried, never having to fret about anything again.
But he can’t stop it. It comes out in great shuddering breaths - pained, wracked sounds slipping past his lips, and he can’t help it. He tries to gather them in his hands to shove them back in his mouth, tries to scoop them in his arms and press them back into the caving ache of his chest, but he can’t.
When Frankie was a child, he saw his dad cry once. Only once, and exactly like this, after his father’s brother was killed in a car accident. He had seen it through a crack in his parents’ bedroom door, and it had hurt him. It had wounded him, as a child, to see his father break with such grief, such pain, such emptiness, and to know there was nothing he could do about it. And now, he is split into those two people - younger self, older self - as he thinks of you lying next to him on the bed. This person who he loves so much, who is now so full of the knowledge of the worst parts of living, wound up so tight within you that you let it settle, let it unfurl around your bones. He sees your hurt, your grief, your pain refracted around him tenfold, and he hurts with you. He sees you as the boy he once was, this poor creature looking in at a heart breaking, as he has unknowingly watched yours break for months.
And he’s so sorry, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to stop saying it.
But here you are, still, performing the ultimate act of kindness. Comfort.
He feels the mattress move as you slide closer to him, and then your hand is on his back, swooping in gentle movements. He feels the scrabble of your fingers under the ribs he has pressed into the bed, the pressure of your arm moving under him so you can hold him properly. Frankie sobs harder, but he opens his body to you. You press closer to him, burying your face in his neck, and he breathes you in as he cries. Your scent is here, you are here. And like you heard him, you whisper -
‘It’s okay, Frankie. It’s okay. ’M here. I’m safe.’ And this realisation allows a little more air, but it doesn’t make Frankie’s guilt, his shame any better. But you’re right, he knows it. And somewhere in his crying, this turns his gasps to tears of relief. Softly, you retract your arms from around him.
You take his hands away from his face, and kiss the palms. You kiss each fingertip, each bruised and cracked knuckle. You lean forward and press a kiss to each tear, each trail of saltwater on his face. And you are so beautiful in the moonlight. Soft and wide eyed. Safe. Kind, always kind, and full of understanding. Frankie sees now that you have been crying against him, too, your eyelashes cloyed with tears. Sees his thoughts in your eyes as though you have had each of them zip to you through the air. When you were a child, you saw your dad cry once. Only once, and exactly like this, after…
A smile breaks through your eyes, chasing away the remnants of tears, glazing down, softening your lips. 
And Frankie doesn’t think this time. His feet don’t fail him. He doesn’t think of stars or glitter or constellations of ice crystals. He just kisses you. And kisses you and kisses you and kisses you. And he doesn’t stop, because nothing else matters anymore.
You’re safe. You’re warm. You’re in his bed. 
You’re here.
You tip your head back, deepening the kiss, licking into Frankie’s mouth. He gives in so easily to you he’s almost ashamed. But then your fingers clutch at him, ball at the bottom of his shirt, tangle in the thick of his hair, and all his thoughts are forgotten. He feels you slip a soft, strong leg over his, pulling him forward. You groan against him, and Frankie’s cock twitches. You feel it, you must do, as you pull your body closer to him, tight against him. Frankie is so lightheaded he doesn’t know where his hands are, what they’re doing - and when he concentrates, he finds them skating over your back, squeezing the tension out of the back of your neck, gripping your hip.
He moans against you as you rock your hips over his thigh, as he feels the heat of your sex against his skin. He feels like he’s on fire.
You slip a hand under his sleep shorts and palm him, brushing his silken length with two fingers, feeling him grow harder, thicker against you. You take him in your hand, pump him once, twice with the perfect grip, the perfect speed, like you were made for him. He’s gasping against you, panting as you suck his lower lip into your mouth.
‘Baby,’ he groans, breathless, ‘We don’t have to. We really don’t -’
You look up at him through gorgeous, glazed eyes.
‘I want to,’ you say, ‘Do you?’
Dangerous, dangerous question. 
Frankie tries to shake his head, look away, think of anything but the tight fist of your fingers around his cock.
‘I do,’ he says, ‘I do. But I don’t think - this is the right thing -’
You loosen your grip, draw away from him. His body aches with a shudder.
His eyes flick back to yours again - confused, hurt - fuck, he can’t do that to you, ever -
‘I - I don’t want to take advantage of it - of you,’ he says. Your eyelashes flutter against your cheeks as you look down the sheets towards your toes. His jaw tightens. ‘And - and I don’t want this to mean - different things for us. I don’t want it to ruin what we have.’ Frankie breathes out heavily through his nose. He has to tell you now. He has to. ‘I don’t want it to mean different things, because I love you. I always have. And if we do this, if I have you even just for a night, I - I’ll never recover from it.’ Tears spike in his eyes again. He tries to smile. ‘You’d ruin me. And I don’t think I’d ever forgive you for it.’
Your breath hitches in your throat, and Frankie watches as your eyes flit back up to his. They search his face, the dribble of his barely-shed tears, the slope of his sad smile. You bring a hand up to cup his cheek, running your thumb over his scraps of beard. He closes his eyes.
‘What you said earlier,’ you begin. Frankie swallows. He waits for the blow of rejection. ‘About me - about me loving him.’ He opens his eyes slowly to find yours, bright and clear. Something begs to bubble over in them. Something golden and warm. ‘You were wrong - obviously. And I couldn’t tell you truly why, because I was afraid. So afraid of pushing you away, even though I think that’s all I’ve ever done. I’ve never thought I was worth it, Frankie. I don’t deserve you. And I am terrified of how much I love you.’ You beam at him, eyes bubbling over with that thing - love - ‘I love you,’ you say simply, like it’s not the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. 
A stunned little laugh ripples up his throat, and you copy it. He grips your face in his hands, and kisses you again, again, again.
‘I love you,’ he says.
‘I love you, too,’ you giggle.
‘And you are,’ he presses to your lips, ‘You are absolutely worth it.’
He rolls over on top of you, and begins to kiss your jaw, nipping at the skin there, before moving down your throat. He kisses you with a hot, open mouth, sucking marks into the sensitive skin at your pulse point. Mine, he groans, and you whimper against him, rubbing your thighs together.
Frankie pushes your shirt up - his shirt - so he can bite at your chest, press kisses to every bit of exposed skin. Every single part of you that deserves to be loved, every single place which has so far been unknown to him. He sucks each nipple into his mouth, delighted when you keen beneath him, panting, please, please Frankie, before he sinks lower down, peeling his shorts away from you to expose your glistening cunt. 
He groans, unable to take his eyes away from it as he leans forward, pressing his body into the mattress to lick a stripe from your asshole to your clit.
‘Frankie -’ you groan down at him as he begins to work at you, sucking and licking, nipping at your thigh before slipping his tongue into your hole, swiping and tasting everything you’re giving to him. He grinds himself into the mattress, hissing at the relief, the uncomfortable weight of his cock dragging below him.
‘Taste so good, baby,’ he tells you, and he doesn’t think he ever wants to taste, wants to smell anything else ever again. All he can do is eat at you, breathe you in, until you’re begging him -
‘Frankie, your fingers - please -’ And he flexes his hand at your hip before brushing a fingertip against your entrance and gasping at the pain. 
You try to bear down towards him, but he rips his hand away, lifting his head towards you.
‘Can’t,’ he gasps, and you mewl, bucking your hips up to his face, desperate. ‘Hand’s fucked,’ he says, and you still your movements before beginning to laugh again. It’s loud and from your belly, and it's bizarre. But Frankie gets it. He gets it, and he giggles too. He doesn’t try to fuck his broken knuckles into you, but he does try to continue lathing you with his tongue. You’re making it pretty fucking difficult, though.
‘Stop laughing,’ he huffs against your clit, ‘I’m trying to make you come.’
‘Okay,’ you say, gasping for air, ‘Okay. I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. You’re doing really well, by the way.’ But this only makes him laugh. He groans, leaning his forehead against your inner thigh. ‘This is impossible.’ He pouts.
‘Nooo,’ you cry, leaning up on your elbows to pout down at him. ‘Please, baby. I’ll be good. I’ll be so good. I won’t laugh anymore.’
‘Promise?’ He says. You hold out your pinky to him.
‘Pinky promise.’ You say.
Frankie stretches his hand out to you and tries to extend his pinky. He winces at the sharp pain which shoots from the movement, and grunts at you, your eyes sparkling with mischief.
‘You bastard,’ he says, trying and failing to hold his smile, ‘You knew I wouldn’t be able to do that.’
‘Just keeping you on your toes,’ you grin, and then before you can make any more smart remarks, Frankie resumes his ministrations, lapping and tonguing at your clit, your hole, mouthing hot, wet kisses to your pussy. He shakes his head from side to side, running your bud in tight, hard little circles until you’re a moaning, whimpering mess beneath him. Your hips buck unconsciously, and Frankie hooks both his arms around your thighs to hold you down, flattening his hands against your belly to keep you firmly in place. He reaches up to twist at your nipples and you gasp. 
‘God, Frankie, tongue feels so fucking good -’ 
He can feel you begin to pulse against his chin as your whines get higher in pitch, and he groans as you twist handfuls of his hair.
‘Come on, baby,’ he says, ‘Give it to me. Wanna see you come, querida. Wanna taste it. Come on my face.’
And you do, the sensation of it arching your back tight like a bow, a strangled moan cutting off into the ceiling.
‘Fuck, Frankie, fuck -’ as he drives you through it, nodding and murmuring against you as you try to wriggle free, squealing in protest until you manage to twist a leg and set a foot against his chest, pushing him off. 
‘Fucking - hell -’ You pant, and Frankie grins down at you, smug.
‘Good?’ He asks, quirking an eyebrow.
‘Oh, fuck you, Morales.’ You laugh, pulling him in for a sloppy kiss, moaning when you taste yourself on him. Your tongue explores every part of his mouth, every crevice behind every tooth, like you can’t get enough of him. Like there'll never be enough of him. ‘Now fuck me.’ You whisper.
And Frankie does not need to be told twice.
He rips his shirt up and off his back, shucks his shorts down his legs, and squeezes himself tight as he can in his left hand. He ruts into his palm, thumb swiping to slick his heavy beads of precum down his length.
‘Ready?’ he asks, looking down to find you staring wide-eyed at his cock. It twitches under your gaze.
‘What?’ He says, and you shake your head in quiet disbelief and amusement. You lift your eyes back to his face, and they are so dark with arousal he almost melts into the mattress.
‘Nothing,’ you shrug. ‘Just somehow never believed Pope and the boys when they said it was like two coke cans put together.’ 
‘Jesus Christ.’ Frankie laughs, his face pulling tight with a grin as he lines himself up at your entrance, swilling the head in your arousal.
‘I mean, what if it doesn’t fit?’ You babble, and he shakes his head.
‘It’ll fit, baby,’ he says. ‘We’ll make it fit.’ Then he sinks the first inch in, and just waits. He waits and watches you, watches as your mouth falls slack, all the smart things coming out your mouth grinding to a halt. He throbs at how tight you are around him, at how you clench already, trying to suck him in further. And fuck, you are so wet.
‘You okay, querida?’ He asks through gritted teeth.
You manage a nod, a broken whine escaping you.
‘Move Frankie, please baby -’ you beg, and he groans as he pushes further inside you, watching the obscene stretch of your pussy around him, the way it pulses, the way it gets wetter and warmer and tighter around him. When he bottoms out, he feels the hot rush of his orgasm leap towards him a little too quickly.
‘Fuck, baby,’ he breathes, closing his eyes just to make sure he doesn’t come right away. You squirm beneath him, canting your hips up, trying to fuck yourself. Frankie grips you, gritting his teeth. ‘Stay still,’ he hisses, flushing a little. ‘God, fuck, please - just for a minute.’ He opens his eyes to find you watching him, your bottom lip caught in your teeth. His eyes glaze down your body - his t-shirt bunched up around your chest, perfect tits, perfect belly, and your sweet, sopping cunt split open on his cock. 
He groans again, slipping out, watching as he retreats, soaked by you, before pushing back in. A high pitched whine leaves your lips, and you twitch your hands up to play with your tits. Frankie doesn’t think he’s ever seen something more sexy in his life.
‘That’s right,’ he says, ‘Keep playing with yourself like that, gorgeous. Look at you.’
So you do, looking up at him with doe-eyes as he fucks into you, soft at first, letting you adjust before quickening his pace, readjusting his angle, feeling you leak around him. His balls slap against your ass loudly, and you keen up at him, eyes wide, begging for something as you tighten like a coil around him, something you can’t quite voice. But Frankie knows.
He swipes his thumb against your clit, and your eyes roll into the back of your head, your back arching again. He groans at the sight, and works the bundle of nerve endings in tight circles, faster and harder, harder and faster, until you’re gripping him so tight he thinks you might push him out.
‘Come baby, come,’ he pants, ‘Please, querida, need to feel you - need to feel you soak me. Need you to come for me, come on this cock, baby, please -’
And he groans, long and loud as you clench and pulse around him, milking him, pulling him impossible deeper - fuck, Frankie, oh my god, feels so fucking good - the delicious pressure at the base of his spine at breaking point as he fucks you through it, as he pants and gasps -
‘Come, Frankie,’ you plead, ‘Please - want you, need you -’ and he spills himself deep inside you, hips stuttering, eyes clamping shut, overwhelmed and short circuited. He’s never known it could feel like this - good to the end of every synapse - and he’s fucking it in with three long thrusts, pulling out slowly just to watch it dribble out of you as he twitches against his thigh. He thumbs your clit just to watch you seize and sigh against him, then sits back on his knees to look at you.
‘You are something else,’ he says in disbelief.
You smile lazily at him.
‘Ain’t so bad yourself, Morales,’ and he laughs, throwing himself down next to you, kissing anywhere he can. I love you, I love you, I love you. Safe.
You lay there for a while afterwards, just feeling each other, calming your ragged breathing. Eventually, Frankie rises from the bed to grab a washcloth, coming back and swiping between your legs tenderly, gently, before collapsing back into bed and pulling you into his chest.
He feels like he’s in space, and he tells you as much. He spills secrets like a child at a sleepover. He tells you about the glitter and the stars and the constellations of ice crystals. You match him with a galaxy of feeling spanning the time he’s known you. And he feels that this is a dream, this love which floats like a nebula within the bed. He tries to keep his eyes open for as long as possible, even as you sleep. And even when he does drift off, he dreams of you. He dreams of you sparkling with stardust, waiting for him with your arms open.
When he wakes the next morning, you’re still there. Safe, soft and warm against him, furled into his ribcage, heart beating against the hand that’s pressed against your chest.
Everything’s okay. That red thread still intact, after all.
When the sun rises, bloody and mild, it’s never been so sweet.
A little piece of a bloody tooth
Just so you know I was thinking of you
2K notes · View notes
astrolynnworld · 9 months
Text
no space
pairing: chris x reader
summary: you’re lapped up on chris in a crowded car and he starts to lose control of himself
warnings: smut! intoxicated, sneaky, dry humping, teasing, hold the moan, dirty talk, clit play, nipple play, cum in pants.
a/n- the request was dry humping but i added plot ofc. and i LOVE it
word count: 876
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since matt was the designated driver, he often had to take a lot of people home.
so it didnt come as a surprise to me when i had to lap up onto chris so we could all fit in the car
but, this wasn’t a big car at all. neither was it a tall car, i had to shrink down into chris so my head wouldn’t be hitting the roof of the car
this induced me into putting all my weight onto chris. i couldn’t carry myself lighter to avoid any irritations
not to mention that my initial body placement was seated on his crotch area.
i was gonna sit on his knee..
but i had to move over to close the door and didn’t want to create another commotion by getting back up to sit on his knee
so i just sit there.. on his crotch, trying to keep still to not splurge a reaction
even though i was turned on by the idea of trying to keep quiet in a car full of people as he grinds into me
the car ride was mostly silent as everyone was too drunk and dazed to really carry out a conversation
i daze off out the window as while chris rests his head against the seat and closes his eyes to relax his mind
The roads in our town are very old so there tends to be a lot of speed bumps, potholes, and rough grounds.
i never really was struck by them until matt had driven over the first speed bump.
in response to the car going over the speed bump, my body bounces up for a split second before plopping back down
i hear chris groan as the added pressure to his area shocks him.
i try my best to ignore what just happened as i feel my face start to heat up with embarrassment
no more than a few seconds later, matt takes a sharp left turn at a yellow light
causing me to tilt over into the window, creating more motion that sparks a reaction out of chris
“sorry” matt sputters out as a response to his reckless driving
i adjust myself back upright and i continue to try to hold myself still
that is until i start to feel the imprint of chris’s bulge beneath me, lined up with my ass
i try my best to ignore this
until chris starts to place his hands on both my thighs, pulling me into him a little more
i feel start the heat between my legs as he adjusts his body to sit upright
at this point everybody in the car is all relaxed and laying on each other, fake sleeping.
chris sits up and leans into my right ear
“try not to make a sound” he whispers before playing a soft kiss on the back of my neck
he uses my thighs to slightly pull me back and forth into him without creating a scene
i start to slowly grind my hips back into him as he glides his hands from my thighs to my stomach
he bends down into my neck and starts to bite my ear to hide his pleasure
i relax my head into the crook of his neck as the friction starts to take ahold of me
i keep my pace steady so it continues reign unnoticed by the others
his hands continues to trail up from my stomach and he places them in my bra
starting to tug and play at my nipples as i continue the grinding sensation
i turn my head into his ear and softly whisper “keep playing with me.. please”
i feel his cock twitch at the innocence of my voice that was laced with seduction
he takes his right hand out my bra to slides it into my pants and underwear
where he starts the circling stimulation of my clit as i further grind into him. left hand still teasing my nipple
i bite my lip in order mask the moans that fight to come out so bad
at this point, i realize that matt could probably see us through the rear view mirror and we weren’t as slick as we thought we were being
but this doesn’t stop me from fucking into the pleasure of chris’s hand.
i start whisper into his ear again
“don’t stop chris.. i’m gonna cum if you— just. don’t. stop” i try to speak as my eyes flutter back into my head with my mouth left open, breathing heavy into his ear
he starts to softly buck up into me as he the pace of his fingers circle faster
i close my legs tightly as i feel the warmth of my body spring out an orgasm
chris’s body freezing mid thrust as gently sits himself back down and rests his head back against the seat once more
he removes his hands from my body and starts to lick the fingers that was playing with my clit
“did you just cum in your pants?” i whisper to him as i stare at his tongue that laps around his fingers
“mhm.” he nods as he clears the coat of juices
“fuck.” i say before turning forward and resting my body into his chest
———————————————————————
taglist: @cutiepatootie36273 @secret-sturniolo @sturns-blog @sturniolo-2003 @mayaaatok @sturnswrites @mattsleftnipple03 @mattybswife @tropicasturn @princessbetsy123-blog <333
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taylormarieee · 9 months
Text
New Girl Luke Castellan
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Summary: You were the new girl in town, after stirring some problem, you catch the attention of a certain kind, hermes boy where you have your first times with...
Pairing: Luke Castellan x Fem!Aphrodite!reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: Kisses, first time, angst, fluff, Percy being a sweetheart, Admiration, Mild cursing, mentions of fighting...
A/N: This was inspired by @angelicdanvers for her Breathe Deeper Social media fic. I will be having a social media thingy as well because I was so inspired by her, so creds to this lovely lady right here<33
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You were Aphrodite's demigod daughter. When your Father safely brought you to camp half-blood you were scared.
You didn't want to be here. You didn't want to leave your father, but I guess there's a first time for everything.
2:14pm
You were not claimed yet and was relocated to the hermes cabin. Where kids who weren't claimed go until they are claimed.
You walked in with Chiron and he explained everything to you. As you walk in Chiron claps to get everyone's attention.
All eyes were on you. You hated this kind of attention but at the same time, something inside of you loved having this attention.
"Everyone, This is our new half-blood, Please make her feel welcome." He announces to everyone in the room.
Your eyes land on a blonde haired boy with blue eyes. He smiles at you and you smile back. You notice your stuff next to the blonde kid and went over there.
Everybody's eyes traced your body and where you walked. When you finally reached your stuff you sat down and sighed.
"Hi. Are you ok?" The blonde haired boy asked you. You looked up and saw him sitting next to you and staring at you with sympathy.
"Yea, just overwhelmed you know? Didn't want to a half-blood. Didn't expect any of this." You respond.
"I know. My first time here was two weeks ago. I'm still trying to get used to it. I lost my mom trying to get here. I'm Percy. Percy Jackson." He says with a warm smile.
You offer it right back. "I'm sorry about your mom. Nice to meet you Percy Jackson."
You tell him your name and he smiles. You two talk for a while before a certain someone catches your eye.
A cute brunette boy with a scar on his right eye and cute puppy dog eyes staring at you and percy talk.
When you look at him, you both hold eye contact for a little while before Percy snaps you out of it by calling someone's name.
"Luke! Come here dude." He calls. You look away looking for who he's calling over and that's when you notice he was calling over the boy you were staring at earlier.
So his name was Luke huh? you thought. He was cute, very cute. You loved the way his curls bounced as he made his way over to the both of you.
You loved the smile that appeared on his face when he saw his friend Percy. He also threw a kind smile your way and you folded.
"Wassup Percy!" He said with excitement. He stopped in front of both of you still standing.
You stood when Percy stood up not wanting to be the only one on the floor looking like a fool.
"I wanted you to meet my new friend." He says with his cute smile. You look at him and he locks eyes with you again.
"Hey, I'm-"
"Luke. Yea, I heard." You respond with a slight chuckle. This makes him chuckle and he raises an eyebrow as if to ask what your name is.
You also tell him your name and he repeats it. You love the way it rolls off his tongue. The way he says it so easily and majestically.
"Well, come on! We'll show you around." He says smiling at you again. As your walking a girl with curls comes and pushes you in the shoulder.
"Hey what the hell is your problem!" You snap back pushing her. She immediately pushes you back and you push her right back again.
Before things could escalate any further, Luke is pulling you back by your arms while your thrashing around yelling at her.
"Shhh calm down. Calm down." He says in your ear.
"Don't tell me to calm down! Let me go Luke!" You say slightly breaking out of his hold and pushing her down to the ground.
She yells at you with hatred and rage in her eyes and you yell right back.
When Luke pulls you back your seething with wrath but you've calmed down a bit.
"Ugh! What is your problem new girl?!" Clarisse yells at you.
"My Problem!? What's your problem?!" You yell back...
"You pushed me for no reason and then laughed about it! I know you fucking saw me!"
"Don't EVER do that again or I promise you will regret it!" You say pulling Luke's hands off you.
Immediately Clarisse scoffed but she backed off raising her hands in surrender.
"Ok...ok, i'm sorry. Won't happen again." She says staring at you. You blinked a little shocked at her surrender but you nodded.
"Apology accepted. I'm sorry for pushing you back." You apologize. She wipes the tiny blood on her face from when she fell and then nodded before walking away.
All of a sudden the crowd splits when she leaves and everyone looks up and sees an Open winged Dove holding a rose in its beak above your head.
Chiron's voice is heard as he approaches. "You have been claimed. Daughter of Aphrodite. Goddess associated with love, lust, beauty, pleasure, passion, and procreation." He announces.
You look at Luke and Percy and they smile at you.
5:35pm
You all were having Lunch at the Hall and you were sitting with Luke, Percy, and Annabeth and Grover who you just recently met.
You had gotten to know her and liked her very much same with Grover, he was funny. You guys had just finished the Capture the Flag and were now enjoying some lunch.
"And then I pushed her back and she fell. Who is she anyway?" You ask reminiscing about the fight that happened earlier.
"Her names Clarisse Daughter of Ares. She isn't exactly nice but if you get glory she respects you." Luke says.
You nod and continue eating. "You looked like you knew what you were doing. You get in fights a lot?" Luke asked curiously.
"Yea, back when I was in school. I used to get into a lot of fights. I guess I know why now." You say chuckling.
"Well Your the daughter of Aphrodite! Why would a pretty girl like you get into fights? Your not Ares daughter!" Percy exclaims.
"Cause, a lot of girls would think I was trying to steal their boyfriends or be a pick me girl. Constantly trying to ask for attention. But that was never the case. Sometimes I got partnered up with their boyfriends! Not my fault, the teacher chose not me. You explain to the four.
They all nod and you all sit in a comfortable silence. "Hey Luke?" You ask staring at him. He makes eye contact with you and raises an eyebrow.
"Yea?" He replies.
"Thanks. For holding me back. Calming me down. I probably would have punched her." You say chuckling.
"No problem. What are friends for?" He says smiling at you. You smile and your face gets hot.
"W-Were friends?" You ask looking at everybody at the table.
Everyone nods and smiles at you. Percy wraps his arm around your shoulder and you smile.
You had made friends, on your first day. You guess this camp wouldn't be so bad huh?
10:37pm
You made yourself comfortable at cabin 10 with everybody else. Your dressed in your silky blue pajamas that your dad had gotten you for your 15th birthday.
As you were getting tucked in you tried to go to bed. But memories of Luke kept flooding your mind.
God, why was the son of hermes flooding your mind. He was so cute though.
You were so influenced by your thoughts that you didn't even realize that you were walking towards his cabin in the middle of the night.
You found the window near his bed and peeked inside. You noticed he wasn't there.
Then you felt someone's hands on your waist turning you around and putting you down.
You quickly turn around panicking but calm down realizing it's just Luke himself.
When you fully register who it is you start panicking again. "Oh h-hi Luke."
You awkwardly stand there as the smirk on his beautiful face grows by your flustered state.
"Hey pretty girl. W-what are you doing by my window?" He asks raising an eyebrow and smirking.
"Uhhh... I was uhm.. Just l-looking for uhm... PERCY! That's right!" You say slightly proud of the lie you just told.
"Percy was claimed today. Remember? Son of Poseidon? You literally called him that earlier today." He replies his smirk getting wider as your smile slowly fades.
He laughs out loud and starts walking towards the door. "See you tomorrow pretty girl." He says chuckling. "I know deep down you were he for me." He adds with a wink.
You weren't gonna do this. You weren't gonna do this. God, you weren't gonna do this.
"Wait Luke!" You whisper yell out.
Shit. You did this.
"I uhm... can you just-ugh." You give up and walk up to him. You grab his face and smash your lips on his.
You kiss him passionately and lovingly before pulling away to get a break.
"I like you. Just wanted to tell you that. You've been running around my mind all night and I couldn't sleep until I told you. So goodbye." You say kissing him one more time before making your departure.
Luke stood there completely flabbergasted and dumbfounded. His eyes wide and mouth agape.
What the actual fuck?
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Taglist: Lemme know if you wanna be on the taglist in the comments!!!!
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k-hippie · 1 year
Text
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CHAMPIGNAC : A NEW SIMS 3 WORLD
Champignac is a fully living Frenchy suburbia World based on Champs-les-Sims and has nothing to do with a vacation place ... Well, nothing is not really the right word ;)
Back in 2016/2017, when we began to think how we could remade Champs-les-Sims, we didn't know really what kind of world we wanted to do. We named the project : Sims de Nimes. Then, because we were on other projects ( such as sims 4 k-mods ) we left Sims de Nimes somewhere in the pipes.
We made Oaksoak Hollow ( based on Mystic Falls ), we made Eureka Valley ( a world between tech and classic life ) and we left behind the Sims 4 because, well ... too long to explain. :D
So, it was time to get out of the box our old project of Sims de Nimes ... During this time, some talented creators re-made Champs-les-Sims with their own vision, more oldy or more city life like, or more like Sunset Valley ... All those versions are interesting, but we wanted something else. And so, is born Champignac !
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If Champignac is a true living suburbia world, it is too a quite rural world, almost a village with :
37 Community Lots
36 Residential Lots
10 Medieval Towers all around the town :)
:)
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In addition, it remains few Empty Lots, differently sized to suit whatever you wish ... So, let's say Champignac is a french-not-so-little-town where life is slowly flowing and dynamic at the same time, perfect for families and Sims looking for a different lifestyle :)
A typical downtown and outskirts, full of old buildings and southern architecture, a joyful mix between south-east and south-west housing, with a touch of something more northener ( but don't tell the citizens; it's a sure way to be frowned upon ) ... After all they worked hard to keep Champignac as it is!
People living in Champignac are quite glad of it. Sure, teenagers dream of foreign lands, but they are not too eager to leave.
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Once, the townies of Champignac were grumpy because Champs-les-Sims was so more popular than their hometown ... After all, everybody went to Champs-les-Sims, stayed there, made nectar, drove a Kenspa, flirted with locals, or … anyway! Tourists had a full experience in Champs-Les-Sims and weren't interested in visiting any other city. Champignac, the official twin city, didn't benefit from any international exchanges, and was left anonymous, far from fame and glory. As unreachable as the Eiffel Tower seen from Champignac ... until ...
In February 29th of a certain year, a distant descendant of Marquis de Landgraab lost his way on the road to Champs-les-Sims and landed in Champignac. Instantly, he fell in love with the town.
He saw an always growing vegetation, a Monastery full of secrets, the familial beach ( yes, there is a beach in Champignac ), the forgotten obelisk, the shop keepers full of stories, the well preserved houses, the green fields and the paved streets, the true Café Catane and a remaining wild fauna running here and there ... He saw perfection !
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For a time, the townies of Champignac experienced fame and glory. But how exhausting it was! Tourists not really caring about the legacy of the kiosk owner, the monks overwhelmed, the museum director who couldn't find enough teenagers to help ... Even the fishes were exhausted! Hard times indeed ... Happily, this descendant of Marquis de Landgraab met someone, somewhere, and moved out, far far away from Champignac. Celebrities said their last goodbyes and slowly, life, as it should be, was back :) The townies and City Council learned from that experience that they very much preferred not to be as famous as Champs-les-Sims ...
Life in Champignac was relatively calm again when suddenly, a global health crisis emerged and the Simvid-18 pandemic hit many many people ... Anxiety swept through the villages and the small towns, including Champignac of course ... With an aging population, residents became increasingly concerned about the well-being of their neighbors and the future of the city.
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Shop owners and farmers who were already considering retirement were now faced with the daunting task of deciding whether to continue their businesses in such uncertain times. The entire world seemed to come to a halt, leaving everyone in Champignac wondering who would carry the torch and ensure the future.
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Surprisingly, the youngsters that only came sporadically for holidays, moved back to Champignac. Fearful of living in a crowded city and eager to gather with family members, they came to the old town with friends. After all, there were spare bedrooms in most houses!
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When the restrictions were lifted, many were reluctant to leave. Going back to a stressful life and fast-paced city wasn't enticing anymore. Most decided to turn their lives around. They took up the florist shop or asked for a job transfer ... So, life emerged again :) Champignac is now a thriving town where you have everything you wish for and nothing more.
Champignac is blessed with old churches turned into bars or wineries, old palazzi that are inspiring, and small boutiques as gathering places ...
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Winters and autumns are short, while spring and summer are long. Come and live among thousands of old buildings, walk on streets Roman soldiers once trod upon, see treasures from foreign campaigns, and benefit from the perfect blend of country living and town living.
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Remember ... With its unique blend of history, culture, and natural beauty, Champignac offers the Sims a captivating and enriching experience. From the stunning architecture to the delectable cuisine, every aspect of this town reflects the South of France’s intoxicating charm.
Are you ready to move in Champignac ?
blackgryffin \o/
IMPORTANT : We advice STRONGLY to begin with the half-populated SavaGame provided in addition to the World itself ...
DO NOT FORGET to download the CC of Champignac we provide on our website too ! for more information, see the 2 posts below ;)
Have fun !
DOWNLOAD HERE
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hughes86-43 · 7 months
Note
You coming in from a late night at work to find Quinn hughes asleep on the couch, as he was trying to wait up for you
Waiting Up | Q. Hughes
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warnings - none!
love this idea, thanks for requesting!
You just walked in through front doors of yours and Quinn’s apartment when you spotted him on the couch. He was underneath one of your big, cozy blankets fast asleep, and the tv was on in the background filling the silence. He must’ve been waiting up on you to get home.
Usually you’re the one waiting up on him to get home from either practice or games that you couldn’t make it to. Today, however, you had to stay over a bit at work at your marketing job since you have a big proposal coming at the end of the week and had paperwork piled up.
Not wanting to wake Quinn up just yet, you walk into your guys’ shared bedroom to change out of your work clothes and into comfy pajamas and throwing one of Quinn’s hoodies over it. After that, you make your way into the shared bathroom to wash your face to get rid of your makeup from the day.
Walking back into the living room, you take another moment to look at your gorgeous boyfriend who is still sleeping peacefully. Deciding now is a good time to wake him up as you were getting hungry for dinner, you walk over to him and bend down so you’re eye level with him. You lay your hand on his cheek, rubbing circles with your thumb over it. “Quinn baby, I’m home.”
Upon hearing your voice and feeling your touch, he opens his eyes. With a faint smile he says, “Hi baby, I tried waiting up on you but I guess I fell asleep, so happy to see you.”
“I’m happy to see you too, now scoot over, I wanna lay down under the covers too!” Quinn laughs but waits not a second more to pull you under the covers with him. He just got back into town yesterday from a roadie, so he has missed you so much, and you have equally missed him the same amount. You were upset that you had to work late, but now you have time to enjoy moments with your sweet boyfriend.
“How was work anyway? I know you said it was a bit stressful, but did it let up any today?” He say while intertwining your hands together.
“It was better today than it has been, but what can you do when you have a major proposal coming up. During our lunch break though, we all went to that taco place in town that has those birria tacos that you like, and now I have my coworkers obsessed with them,” You say with a smile on your face.
“Hey! Those tacos are the best, everybody needs to know about those!”
“You’re right,” you say laughing. “I’m glad you’re home, it makes coming home from work better.”
“I’m glad I’m home too, just hate that I was asleep when you walked through the door.” As if you could get any closer to him, he pulls you back into him and wraps his arms around you even more.
“It’s okay, I got to admire your lovely face for a bit when I walked in. Also, please never shave because the beard is looking so good.” You say shyly.
“Oh, yeah? I guess I could grow it out a bit, for you anyway,” He says with a wink, and then he starts tickling your sides and that causes you to start laughing. He could listen to your laugh forever.
“Okay stop! I take it back! If you’re going to tickle me, then I don’t need the beard anymore!”
“Hmmm I bet. I’ll let you rethink that decision,” he says pulling back from tickling you and now just admiring your face that is now slightly pink from laughing so hard.
“Okay, never mind, I love the beard too much for you to get rid of it!” Then you pull him into a kiss, instantly melting under him.
Suddenly needing air, you two pull apart. Now remembering why you needed to wake him up, you say, “I’m hungry, what do you want to eat? I’m down for anything that you are, just not tacos!”
“Hmmm, I think I want some macaroni and cheese honestly. I haven’t had it in a while, and you make the best out there. If you get all the ingredients together, I’ll help you make it.” He says, rubbing his hands up and down your leg that has made it out from under the covers.
“Sounds perfect Quinny! Now let’s go eat before I starve!” Sadly you leave the warmth from him and from being under the blanket and make your way to the kitchen to get the ingredients.
As soon as you make it into the kitchen, Quinn grabs your hand and pulls you back into him. “I just wanted to say that I love you so much.”
Giving him a big smile, you pull him into a deep hug, “I love you so much too.” In that moment, you know you’ll always have someone to go home to, even when he is away for games, he will always be your home.
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sanguineterrain · 2 months
Note
Hiii i love your writing SO much💕, you're so good with the characterization of the boys it's crazy. I was wondering if I could request a second part of your dick x assistant fic?
thanks sm! i surely can deliver a 2nd part of these two :3 pt 2 to this.
dick grayson x gn!rogue!reader. flirting, canon typical violence, reader being a brat teehee! all fics are rb to @sanguinelibrary
****
This coffee shop is packed.
Normally, you'd say 'fuck it' and just go without caffeine. But you've stayed late for three nights in a row, and Bruce requested coffee ten minutes ago.
And because you work for the local billionaire, you have to buy from the expensive, organic, ridiculously priced coffee shop across town.
The cashier looks up. "Next?"
You step forward in relief, opening your mouth to recite the order you memorized a year ago, when a man cuts you off.
Oh, hell no.
"Hey, what the hell is your problem?" you ask, patience finally snapping. The four people behind you also express their anger at the offending cutter.
He turns around, and suddenly you're looking into blue, blue eyes. Dick smiles apologetically.
"Sorry." He turns. "Sorry, everyone! Everyone's coffee is on me."
That soothes the line completely, and a few even clap. You, however, are unamused.
"I've never seen you in this coffee shop," you say, folding your arms as Dick gets out his wallet.
"Really? I'm here all the time," he says easily. He points to you. "I'll order for them as well."
God. He thinks he can just flash his pretty smile and have you eating out of his—
"...And can I get that with no foam? Thank you," Dick says, finishing the order. He pulls out his card. "D'you mind if I pay ahead for everybody here in line?"
The cashier, predictably, is absolutely dazzled by Gotham's pretty prince, their eyes big and awed. They nod as Dick puts four fifty dollar bills in the tip jar.
"I just wanna say that that was so great, what you did for those kids in the hospital last week," the cashier says. "I live in Blüdhaven, and you're definitely our hero. I mean, wow. Between you and me? You outshine your dad, too."
Dick laughs and hands them another fifty. "Well, someone's gotta keep him sharp, right? You have a good day, okay?"
You stand there blankly until someone behind you says, "You gonna move or what?"
Gotham. City of manners.
You leave the line and walk to the pick-up area, where Dick is chatting with another customer. Good God.
"What was that?" you ask, not caring if you're interrupting.
The lady chatting up Dick begins to protest, but Dick quickly soothes her, apologizing profusely. She leaves.
Dick turns to you, cocking his head. "Hi. What was what?"
"I had to order Mr. Wayne's coffee, too. And mine! What did you even order?"
"I got both of yours," Dick says. He holds out a brown pastry bag. "And I got you a white chocolate raspberry muffin."
"I hate those," you lie.
Dick's face falls, crinkling the bag. "Oh. I thought... uh, sorry. Someone said you..."
You're suddenly hyper-aware of what a jerk you're being. What has Dick done to you, besides be a nice guy?
It's just... you know you should be wary. No guy is this nice and polite and pays for coffee and compliments your laptop stickers and laughs at your jokes and doesn't also have a secret. Dick probably goes American Psycho on the weekends, or does pig's blood sacrifices in his basement. Rich people are weirdos.
He did buy you coffee, though. And a muffin.
"Actually. Sorry. I, uh, thought you said something else. I do like those. Thanks." You take the bag.
Dick perks up. "You're welcome."
You eat the muffin, mildly humiliated but extremely hungry.
"Order for Dick?"
The barista slides a cardboard cupholder with three drinks. He smiles at Dick.
"Hey, man. Nice to see ya! Thanks for the save."
Dick waves his hand. "No trouble at all, Darryl. Take care!"
"And how do you know him?" you ask, following Dick to the creamer station. "Or are you going to tell me it's because you're in here all the time even though I've never seen you here once?"
"Okay, you got me," Dick says, smiling sheepishly. "I don't come here. I know that guy 'cause I found his dog. And saved him from a mugging. Nice guy. He's getting married in November."
"He invited you to his wedding?"
"Yeah! Not sure if I can make it, though, which is too bad. They're having it at the Botanical Gardens. I've always wanted to go there."
"What—" You stop, looking down at the cups. One is Dick's iced caramel mocha, one is Bruce's hot black coffee, and the third is your exact order. "How do you know what I order?"
Dick shrugs. "Just noticed when you bring it to work."
You thought Dick couldn't say what he eats for breakfast, much less what you eat.
"Do you stalk me?" you ask.
"What, no! I don't stalk you. I'm just... observant."
"That's exactly what a stalker would say."
"I would never stalk you." Dick raises his right hand. "Scout's honor."
"I doubt you were ever a scout," you mumble, fixing your own drink.
"You're right. I actually got kicked out of Boy Scouts. I wanted to be a Girl Scout 'cause of the cookies. My little brother was a Scout, though. Got an Honor medal. Never let me forget it."
You turn from the counter, suddenly remembering your exasperation. "Mr. Grayson—"
"Dick! Or Dickie, if you prefer. Why won't you call me Dick?"
"Because it's unprofessional," you say frostily, sipping your drink. "You're my boss' son. And I'm not calling you Dickie."
Dick leans against the counter. "But we're friends now, remember?"
"I don't think I ever agreed to that."
"Pretty sure you did! I have an excellent memory."
You sigh. "Just—"
The TV blares loudly, 'Special Report' popping up on screen.
"And in a shocking turn of events, Brendon Sommer was found dead in his apartment this morning, just two days before his trial. D.A. Colson says this is a tragedy but insists that neither he nor the police suspect foul play. Sommer was a key eyewitness to the Maroni case..."
"What the fuck?" you burst.
No. No way. You had him.
Dick squints at the TV. "This doesn't make any sense."
"Yeah, no shit! Colson is fucking guilty! That had to come out in the trial!"
He raises his brows. "I... didn't know you were following this case so closely."
Shit. Too much. Dial it back.
You fold your arms. "No, I mean, I'm not. Well, I am, but... it's just that Sommer was an assistant, so it's personal to me. The lowest rungs on the ladder are always getting stuck in the shit."
Dick's eyes turn soft and sympathetic. "Yeah. That's true. He was only trying to protect his boss."
Fat lot of good that did him. Those Fortune 500 hotshots are all the same.
You wonder what Nightwing thinks of all of this. You're sure he's full of righteous fury at Sommer's death, but what good can that do? You were at least trying to stop more little people from getting stepped on.
"I have to go," you say, taking your drink. "I have, uh..."
"Work?" Dick offers.
"Yes. Right. Work." You nod. "Thanks for the... and the... you're really, um—you didn't have to—"
Dick grins. "It's no trouble at all. I'd buy you coffee every day if you'd let me."
Seriously, what is wrong with him?
You can't manage anything but an awkward wave in response, bumping into the shop door on your way out.
You're going to the coffee shop by your apartment next time. You doubt Bruce is lucid enough to know the difference.
****
Beeeeep! Beeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeep!
You wince as the museum alarm goes off. You have maybe two minutes before the cops get here. Inept as they are, you don't want to have to slip out of handcuffs.
Hopefully, he gets here before you...
"I thought stealing diamonds wasn't your thing."
Nightwing lands three feet away from you and the display case with the special ruby on display at the Gotham Museum.
The ruby that's now in your hand.
"It's not. Diamonds are overrated. Rubies, however..."
You toss him the ruby. Nightwing catches it one-handed.
"I don't..." He sighs. "Did you do this to get my attention?"
"Not like I can look you up in the phone book, Wing Ding," you say, strutting past him. "C'mon, we have about a minute before the cops show."
Nightwing grabs your arm. "I don't think so. I have you on two counts of breaking and entering and falsified evidence."
"Wing, baby, you'd have me even if I didn't do all that," you say, patting his arm. "And as much fun as it is to be apprehended by you, I can't play with you tonight. We have serious business."
He presses his lips together, and you watch him fight the battle between doing what's right and what's good.
He finally exhales through his nose and puts the ruby back. Which is fine. The diamond necklace you swiped before he came is safely in your pocket. Just because they're overrated doesn't mean you don't have rent to pay.
"Let's go," he says, stalking out of the museum.
You happily bounce after him. "Oh, Wing, I knew you liked me! Am I your favorite thief with a heart of gold? Be honest. I can tell when you're lying."
"You certainly keep things interesting," he says, leading you up a fire escape and onto a rooftop.
"Why, Wing," you say, skipping behind him. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. I'm choked! I'm touched!"
Nightwing stops and turns, hands on his hips.
"I don't feel good about letting you go, so start talking. What happened with Colson?"
You sober at the mention. "I swear, I don't know. He was supposed to be arrested. I laid it all out."
"You turned him to the cops?"
"Yes. I had no choice. Somebody didn't want to help me bring Colson in."
"The way you were doing it was illegal," Nightwing says.
"Yeah, well, Colson's free and Sommer's dead, so it doesn't really matter, does it?" you snap. "I couldn't even get Colson before killing Sommer."
Nightwing steps forward, frowning. "Hey. His death isn't your fault."
"No? Because I could've done anything to make sure Colson got what he deserves, and they got Sommer anyway."
You take a deep breath. You can't get worked up now. Nightwing is a resource you can use to get Colson.
"Why do you care so much about this case anyway?" he asks.
"Because Sommer gave everything, and he was still disposable. That's how all of us little folk are treated. We're just bricks in the wall."
Nightwing tilts his head. "You're including yourself in this analogy?"
Whoops. You shouldn't be giving personal information away. Dammit. How is he so good at putting your defenses down?
"Well, I do have a life outside of this, Wing."
"Really? I don't," he says, grinning.
"No? Not even a special someone?"
"Hm. No comment."
You try not to deflate at that. "Well, anyway, Colson needs to go down. He can't get away with this."
"The circumstances certainly implicate him. But we have no evidence that he was involved in Sommer's death."
You perk up. "We?"
A sigh. "I suppose we can work together, considering the time you've invested into this case. But I have rules," he says.
You grin. "Sure, Batboy. I'll go slow since it's your first time."
He ignores you. "My first rule is that you can't commit any more crimes."
"What!" you say. "But I'm so good at them!"
"Number two is that we have to do things my way, by the book. We can't rely on illegally-obtained evidence. I will help you with every resource I have, but we have to be good and honest about it."
"You're stifling me already, Golden Boy," you say, spinning around him. "Where's your sense of whimsy and joy?"
"I left it at home. Are we clear?"
You stop and heave a dramatic sigh.
"I guess. Are you really dating someone?"
Nightwing scoffs. "Is this you telling me that you're interested?"
"Well, yes. I can fight, by the way. I'll fight for you, babe."
He smiles. "Eh. They're feisty. They can probably fight better than you."
"Ouch! Who's this challenger? Can they promise a dowry of more than five goats and three cows?"
Nightwing laughs a real laugh. You beam at the sound.
"What would I do with goats and cows?" he asks.
"I dunno. Build a farm, I guess."
"I have to build a farm, too? Sounds like a lot of work."
"Marriage is hard work, Wing!"
"Sorry, my heart belongs to someone else."
"I'll court you, yet. I'm an excellent chef. I'll bring us grilled cheeses next time," you say.
He shakes his head, but his posture is relaxed. "You're unbelievable. Really. Criminal, but..."
"I reject the label of criminal. I prefer 'independent contractor.' Or 'director of joy and whimsy.'"
"Okay, Director. No more breaking into museums," he says.
"But how will I get your attention, O Wise and Beautiful?"
Nightwing gets close, breath fanning your cheek. His hand rests on your back. He tilts his head like he's... like he's gonna—
Your heart stutters.
"You've already got it," he murmurs, tongue resting between his teeth. "Meet me here on Friday. Oh, and..."
Nightwing holds up the diamond necklace you took on a single finger. Your eyes widen.
"How did you—"
He grins. "You wouldn't want these, anyway—they're overrated, remember?" Nightwing shoots his grappling gun to the opposite roof and swings away. "Have a good night!"
You watch as he disappears beyond the skyline. You try to muster anger or regret for getting caught and losing the diamonds, but you can't. If anything's criminal, it's that damn smile of his.
God. You are so screwed.
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I’m out of quarantine and I was feeling kinda deprived of human interaction so I spent the whole afternoon infodumping to my mom about grunge. 
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punkpandapatrixk · 9 months
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🌈Would You Marry Me, Honey? ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
Ideally, we’d hope for our Future Spouse to be the only person we would ever be married to🎎Having said that, this reading isn’t catering to a Future Spouse aenergy; this reading is entertaining the idea of a dharmic Soulmate who’s destined for our Highest Intended Good.
Our Destined Person—he or she whose soul essence lights up the whole world after we’ve learnt to light up our own world with Love towards ourselves🥰
To those of you reading this who had been married before or are currently bound to a weird loveless contract, please know this reading is still for you in whatever way it resonates for you🌷We all deserve to be happier and happier still at whatever stage of Life we’re in. It isn’t greed we’re talking about; it’s knowing everybody deserves to find Love in the end💝
And aaa~ happy holidays, Witches~!🎄
SONG: I’m Glad There Is You by Julie London
MOVIE: How To Marry A Millionaire (1953)
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – Making A Soft Bed of Flowers with You
VIBE: Schatze Page & Tom Brookman
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why I was attracted to you – 9 of Pentacles
Umm…you’re kinda giving off this coldass bitch boss aura that sends news to the entire town that you ain’t needing nobody in your Life. You’re so ULTRA independent it actually scares the living shit out of normal people XD You’re too powerful; too resourceful in your aloneness; too successful in your solitude; damn, are you sure you haven’t got an army of jealous bitches wishing ill upon you?? There are IT girls whom all girls want to be and guys want to be with, but you’re a whole different game, hon.
Girls know they can’t be you however much they pay! Guys know they can’t ever bend you however much they hate that you won’t pick them! Your aenergy is weird…you’re too happy…too authentic. The wrong people can only shake their heads in disbelief, gossiping that there must be something shady you’ve done in Life for you to be this real, this successful without being an ass-licker.
At the top of your game, you make the news go round and round you’re making them money from talking non-stop about you. That’s when your Destined Person hear about you and fell in love with your character. You’re swag, or something. You’re savage and honest. They fucking LOVE that you’re an unbreakable bitch boss. You can be a bitch boss to the world, but to your Destined Person, you’re a Goddess of Realness! And that’s rare AF. You’re a true gem. Finally, an equal to them!
how I fell in love with you – King of Cups
Well, in spite of how you appear to the world, your Destined Person was able to see beyond the façade. You act tough and all that but you have a kind and generous soul. People can’t be strong all alone for so long. If anything, the way you appear strong and unshakable incites your Destined Person’s protective nature LOL Your Destined Person has a big heart and wants to nurture. I think their love language might be gifts and attention just because they really like to give. They will give you all their money and attention LMAO
The main reason they fell in love with you is that you’ve inspired them to get even more in touch with their sensitive side. When your Destined Person sees or talks to you, their minds are opened to new ways to express their emotions. It is because you’re eloquent and you have a great library of words to impart your thoughts and feelings. Your Destined Person thinks you’re inhumanly intelligent and so new wave! Whatever that means XD
They also see that you, too, have a big heart. That you’re more understanding than anybody they’ve ever met. Below the iceberg castle you’ve built to protect yourself, you have an entire flower kingdom of kindness and care. It is your generous nature, your heart your Destined Person truly fell in love with. You’re gutsy and talented; you’re honest and courageous; but most of all, you are a genuine Lover with a divine heart and your Destined Person wants that for themselves…
Umm…with this King aenergy…I think your Destined Person is a possessive and territorial style? ^_^;
when I knew you were The One – Ace of Pentacles
Buhahahah… I think your Destined Person knew you were The One from the very beginning. From the moment they were intrigued by you, they already knew you were made for them! Not saying they never had moments they doubted themselves, especially when it comes to whether or not they are deserving of someone mega awesome as you, but they were head over heels from the get go. They couldn’t deny this attraction and they thought, whether or not they’re the marrying type, if they ever want to spend the rest of their days with someone that would have to be YOU~
When they met you…or got to know you (before meeting)…your Destined Person had been wanting to have a new beginning of sort. I think their Life was already secure and they’d achieved quite a great deal in Life. But that security felt fleeting. They wanted to offer all this greatness to someone. Your Destined Person is undoubtedly a lover LOL They want to be in a loving relationship. They want to share their Life, their riches, their comfort with someone. Obviously, it’s YOU~
With this Pile, rather than the idea of your Destined Person needing time to decide on you…it’s more like they actually had to stop themselves from creeping you out by not proposing to you on your first date! LMAO This is a Ted Mosby saying ‘I LOVE YOU’ on his first date with Robin kinda vibe. Something along those lines. Just pretend you didn’t know they already wanted to marry you from the beginning, hon XD Your whole courtship might feel awkward but cute because your Destined Person struggles a lil with behaving like they’re not crazy about you LMAO
I LOVE YOU🔻💙
in sorrow and in sickness – Gold Historian (Raphael Holinshed)
I vow to be there for you – Priestess of Patience
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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – I Could Tell You Were So Much More Than Your Silence
VIBE: Pola Debevoise & Freddie Denmark
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why I was attracted to you – 3 of Pentacles Rx
When your Destined Person first saw you, they noticed that you were distant, rather aloof. Not sure if it was shyness or something else. Depending on your Destined Person’s base psychology or the environment they were brought up in, your Destined Person either thought you were a bitch, unfriendly, or they simply wondered by you were THAT shy, THAT quiet. I think it’s possible the day you met them you simply weren’t in a jolly mood, so you were rather uncommunicative.
Be THAT as it may, your Destined Person ain’t a bitch and if anything they were attracted to your coolness. There is something in your aura, your vibe, your body language, that tells them…you were so much more than your unfriendliness. Perhaps it’s in your gentle gesture, perhaps it’s in the way you gaze at someone else, but your Destined Person could tell, you’re a sensitive person who’s careful with who you get friendly with.
Your Destined Person saw…felt, rather…that you must be a compassionate, empathetic person who would make them feel safe. They could tell that you were society’s outcast of sort, that you were not generic, and that because of this you weren’t the type to quickly judge somebody without knowing their story first. Your Destined Person admires that about you. They think you have high morality and that although you aren’t always smiley or anything, for the most part, you’re really a polite person who’s such a delight to talk to once you feel comfortable with someone.
how I fell in love with you – 8 of Pentacles
Your Destined Person could tell that you’re somebody who’s battled your own inner demons. You’ve worked hard on yourself to be the superior version of yourself. And because you’re naturally kind and very keen on human psychology, your Destined Person saw that you’re the type that can easily understand other people’s crazy. That’s why you’re kind, quiet, and for the most part, patient with other people. You’re cool because you understand the world—you’re based. But you’re also aloof because you understand that most Humans are a waste of time LMAO
Your Destined Person thinks you’re the coolest person who’s ever walked on Earth! This is kinda telling me either your Destined Person is a few years younger than you or they could’ve come from a rather easy background so the maturity of their psychology is behind you XD Do you have significant Scorpio placements? Anyway, your Destined Person is charmed by your maturity, deep knowledge about uncommon things, and that once they get you talking, like whoa, your knowledge and perspectives are SO interesting. They could hear you talk for weeks on end.
Obviously, your Destined Person feels inspired by you. They also feel you’re the safest person they could talk to. If anything, you help them overcome their own demons or pains from the past. When they talk with you, they understand themselves better and they love that your perspectives on people and things are genuinely rooted in your desire to comfort and heal. They think you’re deeply spiritual but based, realistic and pragmatic, and before they could put words to it, they’ve already fallen in love with your character🥰
when I knew you were The One – Knight of Cups
I do see that it takes a bit, juuust a biiit, of time for your Destined Person to know you were The One for them, forever. Personally, they themselves are quite wary of people so just because they were curious and subsequently friendly towards you, didn’t mean they wanted to marry you immediately. Which, all things considered, is very sweet because when you met your Destined Person, when you noticed they were trying to get to know you, they were genuine! They weren’t just trying to get into your pants or wanting other superficial things from you.
Your Destined Person, I feel, is a very charming and handsome person. They’re likely popular, too. I think they know a lot of people, have a large family or perhaps have multiple large circles of people they know, so in that sense, they’re not the type of person who’s needing people just to fill in some kind of emptiness inside. They’re very genuine with you and in trying to get to know you, if anything, they’re the one who wants to offer you something precious: their attention and affection. There’s something poignant about you that makes them feel ultra-protective and they genuinely love that feeling of becoming a true romantic in your presence.
I LOVE YOU🔻🧡
in sorrow and in sickness – Green Magus (John Dee)
I vow to be there for you – Priestess of Inspiration
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – Oh, Dreamy Beauty, You Elevate My Dreams
VIBE: Loco Dempsey & Eben
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why I was attracted to you – Page of Wands
‘Okay, I’m not trying to be creepy or anything but damn you’re SEXY.’ Your Destined Person was first and foremost attracted to your beauty—your sex appeal, to be precise. They find you incredibly sexy…but why the goddamn hell are you cute?? Is that allowed? Little did they know that this appeal is actually your authentic soul. You’re actually a lot more honest than you give yourself credit for. You live Life quite honestly and you’re just being yourself. You don’t really give a damn if people find your essence offensive. ‘I’m not everybody’s cup of tea and that’s perfectly acceptable to me—so what are you gonna do about it?’
Though you’re strong like that on one hand, on the other you’re also quite stupid because you trust people too easily! At least your Destined Person sees you this way. They think, because you’re always honest you could fall into the trap of believing everybody is just as honest, as straightforward as you, which, most people aren’t! Plenty of people are sneaky and dangerous! And your Destined Person noticed this and felt a pull towards protecting you… *why don’t we have a melting heart emoji?*
Your Destined Person felt a pull to be there for you, protecting your Light, your innocence, your joy and happiness. I feel your Destined Person is actually quite a thinker, but when they were drawn to you, as if falling into a trance they couldn’t follow logic anymore. They were drawn in by your passion and delightful personality and before they knew it, they felt like they’d been swallowed whole by your flame🔥
how I fell in love with you – Queen of Pentacles
You’re a wholesome character and that much was apparent to your Destined Person right after they’ve got to know you a bit better. How quickly your Destined Person fell in love with you varies with this Pile, but some digging, some getting to know each other, and some learning is definitely required with this connection. Essentially, the moment your Destined Person learns that you’re so much more than how you look, they couldn’t help but develop genuine feelings for you. It’s a Soul-based kind of Love that transcends human ego.
I feel like your Destined Person could even shed a tear from realising just how much they care about your wellbeing. It’s pure like that and I promise you they’re not so used to feeling that typa feeling for just about anybody! As much as they see you as this very unique, very strong character in your own right, they want to be there to protect your heart. If your Destined Person is a masculine person, they will also want to protect your body and provide for you. They want to make things easier for you! They’re willing to make sacrifices to give the whole world for you, simply because you’re worth it.
Your Destined Person loves how you’re essentially the main character of your own world and…they want to be part of that world? XD They don’t mind being a side character in your world whom you fall for. I think this person could be younger than you or they’re simply not that mature yet emotionally or spiritually! What they love most about you is how you’re literally the most unique, resourceful, strategizing character who knows how to build your own world from scratch! You’re literally the most wholesome character they’d ever known throughout their Life. And they want a part in that world you’ve built with so much love and care. Now, they want to care for you…
when I knew you were The One – 10 of Wands Rx
Let it be known that your Destined Person is quite an intense bitch LMAO When they love, they love with all of their being and their devotion is no joke. This ain’t a playa over here. Or at least…when it comes to YOU, they ain’t got no game. Trust me. You must’ve done or said something that completely changed your Destined Person’s entire view on love and relationships. I betcha you’re the type of intense bitch who’d never settle for anything less than real Love. And that literally brushed off on your Destined Person. In the beginning, they went to war with themselves over this notion of real Love with a capital L.
They never really knew what Love was all about or if they were even deserving of Love. Just like everybody else, they had a very silly take on romance—this is especially the case if your Destined Person is a masculine being. Because of you, now they understand that money ain’t it; sex appeal ain’t it; status ain’t it. Aesthetics comes after real Love. You taught them that. And they’re grateful and they realise you’re the only person they want to love. It’s kinda possessive like that…I think your Destined Person could have some Taurus or Scorpio placements??
Anyway, in some way, your Destined Person could’ve been so embarrassed about their own childishness and felt super lacking as a person. Like, they don’t really know what to offer a divine being such as you…but they vowed to better themselves and grow up as quickly as possible so they could become worthy of your Love LMAO Gosh! It was around this time they realised they wanted to grow up as a person that they knew you were the ONLY one for them! Umm…like they just knew they could and would never be able to feel this way for any other person that’s not you. It had to be you~
I LOVE YOU🔻💛
in sorrow and in sickness – Silver Magus (Merlin)
I vow to be there for you – Priestess of Innocence
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings]
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drdemonprince · 3 months
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I often think of this "queerness is a thing you do (beyond consuming media or buying shit)" thing you talk a lot about, and I sympathize a lot with people struggling w/ this as a queer from a small town with nothing resembling of what people online call "queer community" because there are no queer centric spaces, no bars, no saunas, no theater groups, no anything unless you drive to get to it. But a while ago I realized I was paying too much attention to this and not enough to the fact that despite of where I live... most of my irl friends are queer. Like, the pre packaged "queer experience" centered in consuming thing is so pervasive you can feel you're not "being queer enough" when everybody you talk to irl is bi and/or trans, which is wild.
And if I'm allowed to be a hater for a second: this is so stupid for many reasons, but one of them being that I know queer ppl who got well-paid jobs and moved to a big city and have become the most boring bitches the world has ever seen. Yes, they have the chance to go to drag shows, but they also have "live laugh love" on their living room, a very aesthetic instagram, and stopped being politically involved in any way because they don't have many pressing needs anymore. Access to the consumerist version of "queer" can imo make you actually less queer if you're not careful (if we frame queerness as disruption, that is).
YO YES this is such a good response, thank you. Also people need to realize that we only have gay bars, saunas, book clubs, whatever the fuck because people BUILT THEM. Nobody is gonna rescue us from our isolation. We must build our way out. And when we create accessible, affordable or free community options we are doing a whole lot more to help ourselves and other wayward queer people than any gay bar owner in 2024 is ever gonna do.
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pedrospatch · 1 year
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a safe haven l six
Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader
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series masterlist
summary: Joel opens up to you about a very traumatic loss; he makes a confession about his feelings towards you; you make a confession of your own and it leads to something more.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. fluff, infidelity, Joel and reader are having a full blown affair at this point, angst, talks of child loss (Sarah), lots of feelings come to the surface, two idiots realize they are in love. SMUT. oral sex (m receiving), size mention bc i will always be convinced our man is packing) unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up pls), reader discovers she likes praise, creampie.
word count: 8.4k
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August 2024
The next two and a half weeks that had passed by had done so without major incident, but things had taken a somewhat complicated turn.
You and Joel still manage to see one another a handful of times even with the exhausting amount of hours he’s been putting into his patrol duties, though it isn’t nearly as often as either of you wanted or would have preferred. But there was no other choice.
After numerous sightings of a group of potential raiders earlier on in the month, Tommy had no choice but to assign every last competent, able bodied patrol person, including himself, to work double shifts to ensure the safety and security of Jackson. He and Joel had come across the remnants of a campsite just about fifteen miles south of the settlement and they worried the group was hiding out, planning a violent, ambush attack on the community when it was least expected. Tommy had done his absolute best to keep the word from spreading throughout the commune to avoid causing a panic, but he found himself having to fess up when people went up to him and all but furiously demanded to know the truth—the real reason behind why their loved ones were now being asked to be on the other side of wall twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.
Joel, who you’d come to learn is one of the sharpest and strongest shooters out of everybody in Jackson besides his younger brother, reluctantly took on the role of lead patrolman. He had been assigned an absurd amount of double shifts to work, including the overnight routes, making it almost impossible for you to see each other. You’d understood he had no choice but to comply, but still—that didn’t make the situation any easier to deal with. Both of you tried to make the very best of what little time you managed to get together, but it hadn’t been nearly enough. As if not being able to see Joel wasn’t agonizing enough for you, the fact that he was out on the other side of the wall scared the hell out of you. The only way to keep yourself from losing your goddamn mind was to distract yourself.
You did everything that you could to keep your mind off Joel being out there. Burying yourself deeply into your work helped for the most part.
Besides that, Joel had asked you, as a favor to him, to keep a watchful eye on Ellie in light of his absence. You’d spend most of the day with her in the stables, you would have lunch with her in the mess hall along with Dina, and in the evening, you would go home and make dinner early enough to fix an extra plate of food for her so she had a nutritious homemade meal to enjoy instead of two decades old canned ravioli. You would take it over to her place and drop it off before Luke came home from the clinic. Ellie waited until it was late in the evening and he was asleep to return the plate back to you, and the two of you would take a lengthy, late night stroll through the town, keeping each other company for a while before heading off to bed. She hadn’t seemed to be all too concerned about Joel, but then again, Ellie had known better than you did that he could take care of himself out there just fine. If anything, you spending so much time with her had been more for your benefit than hers, and you started to suspect that just like Joel had asked you to keep an eye on Ellie, he had also asked her to keep an eye on you too. After all, you had made it abundantly clear to him that you were nervous about him being out on patrol while there was a possible threat looming in the shadows.
By the time the middle of August came around, no additional traces of the group had been found—they seemed to have vanished into thin air, causing a wave of relief to sweep through the town. Tommy and Maria finally decided to ease up and end the double shift assignments, allowing every single patrolman and woman to return to their normally scheduled work rotations. Joel went back to his usual early morning and afternoon patrol hours, which meant that the both of you could resume your clandestine meetings out behind the barn underneath the stars.
“I missed you,” you say, sighing out contentedly as you lean back against him.
You and Joel are sitting out on the large, vacant patch of field behind the barn, his soft, green flannel blanket acting as a barrier between your bodies and the itchiness of the grass the animals would graze on during the day. You’re nestled in between his long legs, your back against his warm chest as the two of you share the delicious, ripe peach he’d brought along with him as a surprise for you.
“Mm, probably not as much as I was missin’ you, sweet girl,” Joel replies with a hum before taking a bite of the fruit. Noticing there’s only a couple bites of it left, he reaches his arm around and holds it out for you, his bulging bicep straining against the sleeve of his faded black t-shirt. “Here, darlin’. Want you to go on and have the rest.”
“These will be out of season in a couple of months.” Giving a sad little pout to nobody in particular, you sigh again and sink your teeth into the peach. Through a small mouthful, you realize, “Who knows when we’ll ever get peaches around here again.”
Joel’s lips meet the spot on your neck right behind your ear and you feel him grin. “S’alright with me. I’ve got my sweet, perfect little peach right here. And I’ve got her all year round.”
You playfully elbow him in his chest. After polishing off the rest of the peach, you lick off the pit and toss it out into the distance.
“Didn’t think you’d be the type to litter,” he teases.
“It’s biodegradable,” you retort with a tiny laugh as you leaned your head back against his shoulder and gaze up, admiring the stars that sprinkle the velvet night skies. “Or at least, I think it is. Come to think of it, I never paid much attention in life science when I was in FEDRA school. It was my least favorite subject.”
You gather your hair in your hand, bringing it over your shoulder to keep it out of Joel’s face. 
“Mm,” he whispers, licking his lips as his eyes fall to the delicate flesh of your exposed neck. He ghosts his mouth over your pulse point and his warm breath fans against your cool skin, prompting your eyes to flutter closed. “Just temptin’ me on purpose now, ain’t you, baby?”
“I would never do such a thing,” you object in an innocent tone, and he immediately clocks the smirk behind it. A comfortable silence falls over the both of you and while you’d normally welcome the peaceful, tranquil moment with him, tonight it feels impossible. You had gone so long without Joel over the last couple of weeks—at least, it had certainly felt long—and you realize one of things you’d missed most about him was the sound of his voice. “Ask me a question, Joel.”
“What kinda question can I ask, darlin’?”
Feeling brave, you offer, “You can ask me anything you want. No limits.”
Humming curiously to himself, he tries to think of something he hasn’t asked you before. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Really, Joel?” You snort, trying to mask your laughter as he rests his chin on your shoulder, the scruff of his beard tickling your skin as he presses his cheek against yours. “I just told you that you can ask me anything you want and that’s your question? What’s my favorite color?”
“Yeah,” he answers, simply. “I wanna know what it is.”
He turns his head, lifting it off your shoulder to brush a gentle kiss to your temple. Joel could not, for the life of him, even remember the last time he’d shared this kind of physical tenderness with anybody. Forehead kisses, holding your hand, all sorts of little tokens of affection he didn’t think he could still be capable of giving to someone came to him so naturally with you. You had brought out an entirely different side of him, one that had been buried beneath his rough exterior for well over two decades, and the part that Joel still can’t quite wrap his own head around is that you’d done it with such ease. He’d go as far as to say that you had done it without even trying.
“So?” Joel prompts you. “What is it?”
“It’s brown,” you answer. 
“Brown? Why brown?”
“Because. It’s earthy, it’s warm—and your eyes are brown,” you state, grinning to yourself as you feel his loud laugh rumble through his chest and against your back. “What about you? I mean that’s if Joel Miller even has a favorite color,” you giggle teasingly, placing a hand on one of his denim clad legs. You then add, “Actually, I’m kind of curious now. Do you have a favorite color, Joel?”
Joel hesitates, momentarily holding onto his answer.
“I do. It’s purple,” he finally responds after a brief bout of silence. “Purple’s my favorite color.”
“Purple,” you repeat after him, unable to mask the surprise in your tone. “Really?”
Joel chuckles. “What? That weird or somethin’?”
“Uh, sort of. For one, you just don’t strike me as the kind of guy who would have a favorite color in the first place—and even if you’d told me you did, I would have never in a million years guessed that it was purple,” you admit, sheepishly. You trace a small circle around his knee with your finger and curiously ask him, “Why is purple your favorite color?”
“‘Cause. That’s my daughter’s favorite color.”
You scoff playfully. “Come on, Joel. Ellie’s favorite color sure as hell isn’t purple. Her favorite color is green. But red’s a close second.”
When he speaks again, his voice is so quiet you almost don’t hear him despite being in such close proximity. 
“I ain’t talkin’ about Ellie.”
At first, it doesn’t quite register, but after a moment of processing, the pieces click together in your mind. Joel has another daughter.
Your smile vanishes and you slowly turn around between his legs to face him. Looking at him with wide, shocked eyes, you utter, “What?”
“Her name was Sarah,” he confesses, softly. 
Was. 
Your throat dries at his use of past tense.
Because you know exactly what that means. 
Opening your mouth to speak, words fail you and you close it. You suddenly remember the way he would tap dance around certain details of his first life in Texas. Whenever he would speak about his life before the outbreak, he would be cautious, careful to watch himself and his words. You’d known Joel had been keeping something from you, something he wasn’t ready to disclose to you for one reason or another—but never would you have guessed that him having a daughter would be the secret he had been hiding.
By now, you’ve turned your body around and you kneel in front of him, sitting back onto your heels. Not wanting to push him too hard or too fast, you clasp your hands together in your lap and wait silently—patiently—for him to continue when he’s ready.
“Sarah’s favorite color was purple. She’d wear it all the time. Her backpack, her school supplies, they all had to be purple or she wouldn’t use them. When she was nine years old, she begged me to paint the walls of her bedroom purple. One day, I took her to Home Depot after school to look at all the different shades.” He laughs, musing, “Didn’t know there could be so goddamn many of them. Anyhow, I told her I’d think ‘bout it. I went back to the store the next day while she was at school, bought a couple cans of the lavender shade I knew she’d like the best and by the time she got home, I had it all painted for her,” he explains, a sadness glazing over the fondness of the memory. “She loved purple. It was the color of the t-shirt she was wearin’ the last time we were together on the night of the outbreak.”
Your heart sinks. “Joel, you don’t have to tell me—”
“S’alright, peach. I wanna tell you ‘bout her,” Joel assures you, reaching out for your hand and taking it in his own. “I trust you, baby. Trust you more than enough to tell you ‘bout Sarah.”
Nodding, you lace his fingers together with your own. 
“I was never married,” he starts to say, knowing whether or not he’d also had a wife before the world ended would be a question on your mind—that’s if it wasn’t already. “I was never with Sarah’s mom. I met her in high school and we’d been friends up through senior year of college. We started to date then, but after a year, we realized we weren’t a good fit together. We broke up and a couple months later, we found out she was pregnant with Sarah. Her mom and me, well we both made an agreement to co-parent her as best as we could. Just a few months shy of our daughter’s first birthday, she realized she couldn’t handle raisin’ a child at our age. I tried real hard to convince her to stick around and keep tryin’ but I couldn’t get her to stay. She bailed out on me, but the worst part of it was that she bailed out on Sarah.”
He stops for a moment and you give his hand a gentle, but firm, encouraging squeeze.
“As if bein’ a father to a baby girl didn’t scare the shit of me, being a single father made it all feel so much scarier, y’know? I was young, in my early twenties. I was always workin’ so damn much, tryin’ to build my construction business with Tommy. Now I had this tiny little person to take care of, and I honestly didn’t know how the fuck I was gonna do it.” Joel pauses, his sixth sense detecting that your knees have started hurting from the position you’re in. He closes his legs together and pulls you to sit on his lap. “It wasn’t easy, and I probably made a lot more mistakes than I’d like to admit. But somehow, I made it work and it turned out alright. Sarah was my best friend in the whole entire world. Hell, I loved her more than fuckin’ life itself. She could be a handful, but she was perfect in every single way. She was my sweet little butterfly, my ray of sunshine on even the darkest of days.”
Swallowing harshly, you ask, “What happened to her, Joel?”
Joel sighs, resting a hand on your bare thigh. His fingers skim the scalloped hem of your floral shorts. “It was the first night of the outbreak. We were tryin’ to get out of Austin. Me, Sarah, and Tommy. We didn’t know where the hell we were gonna go or what we were gonna do, but we just needed to get far away from the city. We got separated at one point when our pickup truck got into an awful wreck. I had Sarah in my arms ‘cause she couldn’t walk. She’d broken her ankle in the crash. Tommy told me to get her to the river where she’d be safer, said he’d find his way over there to meet us.”
Your heart begins to pound. Part of you almost doesn’t want to hear how his story is going to end—because in a way, you already know how it’s going to end. But if Joel is telling you about Sarah, it’s for a reason. He’s opening up to you, the way you’ve opened up to him. He’s sharing his heartbreaking loss because he trusts you—and Joel Miller doesn’t trust anyone that’s not his family.
Draping an arm around his shoulders, your fingers toy with the curls at the nape of his neck as you anxiously wait for him to recount the event that follows next, the event that will surely shatter your heart into pieces.
“The streets were crawlin’ with infected. One caught us in its sights and chased after us. Tried to dodge it through a buildin’ but it followed us, runnin’ us out into a field just a mile from the river. I didn’t think we were gonna make it—then, a soldier came outta nowhere and shot it dead. It felt like some kinda fuckin’ miracle. I thought we were lucky. I thought we were gonna get some help.” His voice grows hoarse, thickening with emotions he’s not too sure he can hold back this time. “I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was given the order by his command to kill us both, even though we weren’t sick. I tried tellin’ him over and over we weren’t infected, but it didn’t matter. He shot at us. He grazed me in my side, but Sarah—he got her. Got her multiple times. I was foolish enough to think it hadn’t been fatal. I tried gettin’ her up, begged Tommy to help me—but it was useless. Sarah died in my arms. Took her very last breath in some field outside of Austin.”
“God,” you whisper shakily, a sharp, painful ache shooting through your chest at the thought of him cradling his daughter’s lifeless body in his arms, her purple shirt soaked in crimson. “Joel, I don’t—I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry.” Willing yourself to keep it together for his sake, you hold the back of his neck in your hand, fingers coaxing him to look up and meet your gaze.
“After that, I just didn’t see any point in carryin’ on anymore. I’d lost the most important thing in the fuckin’ world to me. I couldn’t see in the darkness now that my little ray of sunshine was gone. So, a couple nights later, I picked up my gun and tried to end my own life,” he confesses. Even though it’s been over twenty years, traces of shame still linger behind. “Put the barrel of a pistol to my temple. Told myself it was what I wanted to do and I pulled the trigger.”
Without thinking, you reach towards the scar on his right temple with your opposite hand, the one you’d noticed for the first time before he had kissed you in Ranger’s stall. You lightly brush your fingertips over the jagged, raised patch of skin. You’d wanted to ask him about it on several different occasions, but never had the courage to actually do it. Now that you know he’d gotten it from his own hand, it just makes the entire thing all that much more heart wrenching.
“M’sure you’ve guessed it by now, but I missed. I flinched and I missed. For twenty fuckin’ years, all I could do was wish I hadn’t missed. Spent a long time hatin’ myself for missin’ what should’ve been the easiest goddamn shot of my entire life. Then, Ellie came along.” Joel moves his hand, gingerly taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. “And not long after her, I met you, sweet girl. The two of you came at me outta nowhere.” He can’t help but chuckle, remembering his first encounter with Ellie, the way she had flown at him with her switchblade clutched in hand only to end up thrown against the wall. “You both came outta left fuckin’ field and brought out sides of me I thought had been dead and buried for years now. You and her, you mean more to me than I can fuckin’ explain. You’re the most important things in the world to me now.”
Your breath catches in the back of your throat at his declaration. It’s not like you didn’t know Joel cared about you. Of course you know that. But the extent to which he did had been something of a mystery, at least up until this very moment.
“I didn’t know I could feel this way ‘bout anyone again,” Joel admits. He slides his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “Openin’ up my heart to Ellie, that was one thing. But openin’ it up to you? That’s been somethin’ else, peach. I don’t think you even realize the hold you’ve got over me and my heart. What really fuckin’ gets me is that you don’t even gotta try. All you gotta do is look at me with those eyes and give me that pretty smile of yours, and I’m fuckin’ done for. You’ve got me wrapped all the way around your little finger and then back again, baby. Y’need to know that I’d do just ‘bout fuckin’ anythin’ for you. You understand that?”
You stare at him like a deer caught in headlights.
“Joel,” you stammer his name, your nerve endings feeling like they’ve been lit on fire. “You really need to stop talking like that.”
“Why’s that?”
You don’t even think—you just blurt the words out before you can stop them.
“Because I think I’m falling in love with you.”
The tables turn and it’s now Joel who is at a complete loss for words.
Embarrassed by your own admission, you begin to ramble nervously. “Look, I know it’s ridiculous. We haven’t known each other long, but I can’t help it. And maybe it’s for the best if you know where I stand and how I feel. You still have time to back out of this—”
Still holding your chin, Joel carefully brings your face toward his, silencing you by slotting his lips to yours. He moves to cup the side of your face in his palm, forgetting about any kind of softness as he greedily licks into your mouth. He’s kissed you plenty of times before and you thought you knew all of his kisses well enough by now, but you’d been wrong. This one is different from all the rest. His lips move against yours in a possessive manner, but not the kind of possessive you’re used with Luke. No, with Joel, it isn’t a possessive stemming from control and abuse, rather, it’s out of pure need, want, and desire. Even as his mouth devours yours, there’s still a sweet, loving tenderness to it.
“Joel,” you whimper against him. “I—”
You falter, unable to say those three words. There’s something holding you back—maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s knowing that once you say them, you can’t take them back. Not that you would. But it’s a big step, and you’re not quite ready to say it, even if it is how you feel.
And he feels the same.
He deepens the embrace.
I love you.
Joel might not be ready to say it either, but he hopes the way he’s holding you and swelling your lips with his puts your mind at ease and reassures you that you’re not the only one who’s falling.
You shift yourself in his lap, moving to straddle him, your legs on either side of his thighs as your mouths remain fused to one another. He reaches and grabs for every single part of you that he can, running his hands all over you from your shoulders down to your hips, dragging lower until they’re unabashedly cupping the delicious curves of your ass. You whimper in his mouth again and the moment your lips part, his tongue takes advantage, darting inside to start the heated, unhinged dance with your own.
You clutch at his shoulders, your fingers curling around tight around fistfuls of his t-shirt in an attempt, and a very desperate one at that, to keep yourself planted on the ground. You hold on trying to keep yourself tethered to planet earth, but with the way his searing hot mouth moves with yours in perfect unison, it’s impossible. You’re free falling without a safety net, and you don’t even care. 
Seating yourself completely on his lap, you feel the bulge of his cock straining against the zipper of his jeans and the wetness pools between your thighs.
Letting go of his shirt, you reach around him and bury your fingers in his curls, lightly tipping his head back as your tongue explores his mouth like it’s the first time all over again. Joel tastes like the sweet fruit you’d shared, a strange mix when combined with the mint from his toothpaste. But there’s something else he tastes like and you’ve tasted it several times before, however even after all this time, you still can’t figure out what it could be. It tastes like Joel. That’s the only way you can think of to describe it. It just tastes like Joel and it’s addicting and you want it on your lips for the rest of your life.
After a minute, you and Joel finally force yourselves apart, your lungs and his begging for oxygen. 
“Joel,” you choke his name between heavy pants for air.
“Baby.” He’s about as breathless as you are, possibly even more. “Baby, please. I’ve gotta have you,” he pleads, hands now splayed on the small of your back. “Please. I fuckin’ need you. Or else m’gonna lose my goddamn fuckin’ mind.”
“Barn,” you rasp out, releasing your grip on his hair. 
Confused, Joel’s eyebrows knit together. “Barn?”
“Barn,” you repeat as you climb off of him.
You’re unsteady—incredibly unsteady. Knees wobbling, legs trembling and feeling like they’re seconds away from giving out underneath you. But you hold a hand out to Joel, exhaling a tiny, labored grunt as you help him up off the ground. Grabbing his blanket, you give it a shake before taking his hand in yours and leading him around to the front of the barn. Dropping his hand, you use both of yours to slide one of the double doors open an inch or two and take a peek inside to make sure the coast is clear. You then slide the door open a bit further, just wide enough for you and Joel to slip inside. 
“Wait a minute,” he chuckles as he watches you slide the door closed. “How’d y’know it would be unlocked?”
“I didn’t know it would be unlocked. I was just hoping we’d get lucky,” you admit, beckoning him for him to follow you. “Come on.”
Through various cracks and gaps and open windows, enough moonlight filters into the barn, shining a decent amount of light into the structure—enough so that it’s not pitch black and you two are left stumbling around in complete darkness.
Joel glances around. The last time he’d been inside the barn was back in June for the summer party. He remembered it having been cleaned and cleared out for the event and now, two months later, it’s packed to the rafters with countless bales of hay. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have been surprised. But as he walks, piles of loose dried grass and herbs crunch underneath his boots and he remarks, “There’s fuckin’ hay everywhere, darlin’.”
“Um, yeah. What else do you keep in a barn?” you jeer lightly, earning yourself a small scoff from him. “Hey, at least they don’t keep sheep and other livestock in here, Joel. Besides, beggars can’t be choosers, right?”
Joel snorts, masking his laughter at the thought of walking into a barn full of animals instead of an absurd amount of hay. “Yeah, guess that’s fair enough,” he concedes. “Might kill the mood if that were the case.”
You lead him over towards one of the far corners of the barn, your eyes falling to a large, almost bed sized pile of loose hay. Draping the blanket over it, you stand upright and then freeze, your body flooding with nerves once you realize what’s inevitably about to happen between you and Joel.
You hadn’t done anything with him since the night he’d pleasured you out on his front porch. Of course you wanted more, so much more, but that doesn’t make you any less nervous. You’re so much younger, hardly have any experience—you’ve only ever been with one man, and even then, it hardly counts. It’s been such a long time since you’d found sex something you wanted, something you enjoyed. Whenever Luke touches you, it makes your skin crawl, but when Joel Miller touches you?
It sets you ablaze, leaves you needing more of it. Of him.
Part of you wonders if your touch makes him feel the same. What if it doesn’t?
His arms wrap around your waist from behind and you exhale the breath you’d been holding shakily.
“What’s the matter, darlin’?” Joel murmurs softly into your hair, sensing your pensiveness. 
“I’m just really nervous,” you blurt out.
“S’okay,” he says, quietly. “M’kinda nervous too.”
You’re slightly taken aback. “Really? What are you nervous about?”
Joel rests his chin on your shoulder. “We’ve both crossed a lot of lines already, peach. But this one? S’gonna be the one we can’t come back from,” he tells you. “Might be what seals the deal between us, y’know?”
Slowly, you turn around to face him. “Yeah, I know,” you respond, peeking up at him through your eyelashes. “And I know I should care, but I don’t. It’s wrong, isn’t it?”
“S’wrong,” he agrees with a tight nod. “But I don’t care either, sweet girl.”
Before you can utter another word about it, Joel crashes his mouth onto yours. He snakes one of his arms around you and lifts the other, cupping the back of your neck as he ravages you with his lips and tongue, kissing you with such urgency, such desperation that it melts you into a whimpering mess in his arms. Your mind is hopelessly lost in a thick, cloudy haze—all you can focus on is breathing him into your lungs like he’s the air you need to stay alive. His hands fall down to the hem of your white camisole and his mouth abandons yours to pull it over your head. He discards it, tossing it over his shoulder somewhere behind him. He then pushes your shorts and underwear down your legs and you kick them off along with your shoes. You’re now standing before him completely naked.
Desperate to feel his skin against yours, you take the hem of his t-shirt and clumsily tug it over his head, eliciting a laugh from him. You throw it somewhere over his shoulder to join yours and your hands eagerly meet his warm, bare chest for the first time. Biting down on your bottom lip, your trembling fingertips brush over several bumps and rough, raised patches of skin that you know have to be his scars. He has so many, and all you want to do is kiss each and every single one of them, but Joel has other ideas. He pulls you into his arms, flush against his chest, and he holds you tightly.
More often than not, Joel feels as if you’re not real—worries that you’re just a perfect, flawless figment of his own imagination. He doesn’t know whether or not you’ve caught onto what he’s been doing, but he steals moments like these whenever he can, moments where he stands there and takes you into his arms and holds you without saying a word.
It’s his own way of reminding himself that not only are you real, but you’re real and you’re his. Joel doesn’t care about the fucking ring on your finger. He doesn’t care that you’re promised to another man. He doesn’t care that he can only hold you in secret, that he can’t walk next you down the streets of Jackson in broad daylight and hold your hand while doing so. He doesn’t get to share a roof or a bed with you and he doesn’t get to join you for dinner at the table every night—maybe this isn’t how he preferred things to be, but he just doesn’t care. 
It doesn’t matter to him.
Nothing matters to him except for one thing.
Your heart belongs to him. It bleeds with his name.
You’re his. You’re all fucking his, and only his, in all the ways that truly matter.
And he is yours. 
Joel chokes out a strained groan as you press your plush lips softly against his neck, your tongue swiping across his pulse point. You firmly suckle his flesh, hard enough to break the tiny blood vessels underneath his skin and once you’ve left your mark, you trail your lips down his neck, eliciting another strangled noise from him. You sweep them over his collarbone, then down the length of his chest, showing each scar you come across with the affection it deserves. Your teeth nip and scrape at the softness of his belly and you quickly discover that it’s one of your favorite parts of him. Lowering yourself to your knees, your nose skims over the trail of dark, coarse hair below his navel and your fingers suggestively skim the waistband of his jeans.
His eyes widen. “You ain’t gotta do that—”
“I already told you, Joel. I want to,” you assure him, your voice low, sexy, filled with a lust for him and only for him. You make yourself comfortable, a challenging feat since you’d overshot the blanket and are now kneeling directly on the itchy, dried grass. It doesn’t matter, though—you’re more than willing to deal with discomfort for him. You place a hand on his hip and peer up at him. Your eyes meet his in the milky white moonlight. “You made me feel good. Please, just let me do the same for you?”
The nod he gives you is so subtle, so quick, that you almost don’t catch it.
He’d grown tense beneath your touch. 
You can’t help but laugh softly—not at him, but at the fact that he doesn’t realize that pleasuring him isn’t a want for you, it’s a need.
Gently, you pat his hip. “Relax, honey,” you encourage him, surprised at how the pet name rolls off your tongue with such natural ease.
Your hands reach for the button of his jeans and you swiftly undo it, then tug at his zipper. You start pulling the denim down his legs. Joel helps you, kicking off his worn, black leather boots before stepping out of his jeans, kicking the article of clothing off to the side. Heart racing in anticipation, you slide his dark boxer briefs down his legs, but stop short, breath hitching the second you feast your eyes on his cock. You’ve felt him through his clothes before, knew he was well endowed, but you’re still shocked to see just how big he really is. The mere thought of his hard, thick length filling you up and stretching your cunt makes your entire body ache with need. You can’t be certain how he’ll fit, but truth be told, he could tear you in half and you would thank him for it. 
Joel draws in a quick, sharp breath when he feels your small hand wrap around his base. Just as fast as he’d breathed it in, it’s knocked back out of his lungs when your other hand joins in and you run your fingertips along the thick, prominent vein on the underside of his cock. He twitches in your hands—you’ve hardly touched him, haven’t even put your mouth on him, and he’s already teetering on the edge.
“Christ, baby. You’re gonna be the fuckin’ death of me, I hope y’know that,” Joel croaks, tilting his head back to look up at the rafters as he silently wills himself not to explode too soon. His hips involuntarily jerk forward as you lick his tip, collecting his leaking precome on your tongue before wrapping your soft lips around it. Another loud, ragged groan tears from the back of his throat as you take him in slowly, inch by inch, further into your warm, wet mouth. Your own moaning around him causes a vibrating sensation, making it harder for Joel to keep himself from spilling into your mouth.
“Fuck, peach,” he curses, feeling the head of his cock nudge the back of your throat. He’s more than a mouthful for you, but you accept the challenge with eagerness and take him in further, gagging around him as drool dribbles down the sides of your chin. You, the same woman who just moments ago had said she was nervous about being intimate with him—whoever that woman had been, she was long fucking gone.
Joel’s eyes flit down and he sinks his teeth hard into his lower lip. He can see your silhouette as you work him with that pretty little mouth of yours. One glance is all he can handle before he’s squeezing his eyes shut, the pressure building in his lower abdomen and already dangerously close to reaching its peak. If Joel so much as looks at you again, he’ll come down your throat, and that’s not where he’s planning on finishing tonight.
You bob your head back and forth on his cock, your eyes watering each time he slips past the back of your throat—your cheeks hollow as you suck him greedily, and you alternate between that and stroking his long, thick shaft, your tongue swirling around his head.
Without opening his eyes, Joel reaches down with his hand and cradles the back of your head in his palm. The sounds that fill the barn are nothing short of obscene. His grunts and groans mixed together with the sounds of the moans you’d release in between your wet and sloppy slurping. He forces his eyes open and bravely takes another look at you, his heart slamming painfully against his sternum as you move your head faster, chasing his release as if you’re chasing your own.
“Fuck, baby—wait, stop. Need you to stop.” Joel’s hand leaves the back of your head and he cups your jaw, gently, but firmly, forcing you to release his cock from your mouth with an audible pop. “Ain’t gonna last much longer, not if you keep on like that.”
“Isn’t that the whole point?” you ask, smirking up at him as you wipe the mixture of his precome and your saliva away from your chin with the back of your hand.
Joel leans over and takes your arms, effortlessly yanking you up to your feet. His hand dives between your thighs to get a feel—to find whether you’re ready to take him or not. He slips two fingers between your soaked folds without so much as a warning, causing you to gasp out and grip his biceps, your fingernails digging into the firm muscle. Joel withdraws his hand from your cunt, admiring the way his digits come back coated with your slick. He looks at you, his eyes locking with yours as he lifts his hand to his mouth and slowly licks his fingers clean.
That alone nearly makes you come undone, almost makes you melt into a pathetic, whimpering mess at his feet. 
“Joel,” you say his name pleadingly. “Please.”
Sliding his fingers out of his mouth, he steps forwards and curls them around your wrist. “What is it, my sweet little peach? Hm? What do you want?”
“You. I want you,” you answer. You’re quick to correct yourself. “No, I need you. I fucking need you—I need you more than anything I’ve ever needed in my life, Joel.”
Leaning down, Joel skims the tip of his nose against your cheek before bringing it down along your jawline. “Where, darlin’?” he whispers huskily, sending a shiver up your spine. “Where do you need me, baby?”
Your mouth falls open slightly unable to say it. You don’t know why you’re suddenly shy, flustered as if you just hadn’t been down on your knees gagging around his cock.
“Tell me, peach,” he coaxes you gently with another low whisper. “Tell me where you need me. Tell me where you need my cock, sweetheart. Need to hear you say it.”
“Inside me.” Blazing heat floods your face. “I need you inside of me—I need you to fuck me. Please, Joel.”
“So polite ‘bout it, too,” he remarks. “What a good girl.”
Though he says it in a teasing manner, his praise nearly makes you collapse.
“You like that,” he realizes, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “Yeah, baby? Y’like it when I call you a good girl?”
“Fuck, I—yes, I do,” you confess.
“C’mere.” Joel wraps an arm around your waist, hand splayed over your back as he lowers you down onto the blanket. He follows suit. You both let out breathy laughs at the way your naked bodies sink down into the pile of hay. Propping himself up with his arm, Joel looks down at you, his smile fading as a serious expression crosses his features. He tucks a lock of hair behind your ear, finger grazing the silkiness of your cheek. “Y’sure ‘bout this, peach? Ain’t too late to stop.”
Smiling softly, you lift a hand to the side of his face, your fingers stroking his graying beard. “I’ve never been so sure about anything, Joel,” you promise him. “If you could take a peek into my mind, you would see how bad I want this, how bad I need this—how bad I need you. I don’t want to stop.” And you don’t just mean the sex. You don’t any of this to stop—the secret, late night meetings, the stolen kisses, the illicit affair. “I’m sure about this. I’m sure about you, Joel.”
That’s all he needs to hear.
Joel reaches down between your bodies, gripping his base, pumping his throbbing cock in his fist before lining himself up at your sopping entrance. Adrenaline courses through your veins—every nerve ending in your body is going up in flames. You spread your legs wider for him, hoping he’ll understand the nonverbal cue. He does. He begins to ease himself into your cunt and you hook a leg around his waist, encouraging him to go deeper. The barn fills with the sound of his grunt and your loud cry at the initial stretch. He sinks his cock further into you until he bottoms out and you cry out again, feeling a delicious burning sensation as he cradles his hips between your thighs.
“M’gonna need you to relax a little sweetheart,” he whispers gently, ceasing his movements to give your body a chance to adjust to him. Joel takes advantage of having you pinned underneath him with your head thrown back and his lips latch onto your neck, hungrily. He fervently kisses his way down the column of your throat, nips his way to your collarbone—but unlike you, he’s careful to do so without leaving any kind of mark behind. He would give anything to have the freedom to leave traces of his loving all over you. Maybe it’s the heat of the moment and the way he’s buried inside you to the hilt that brings out the primal in him, but Joel wouldn’t mind seeing you walk around Jackson covered in his love bites. He wants everyone to know he’s the one who’d left them behind, needs them to understand that you’re his. But that isn’t possible. Joel lifts his head from the hollow of your neck and nibbles lightly at your chin. “You alright, baby?”
Forcing your eyes open, you lift your head and bring yourself to look at him. At first, you feel discomfort, but after a minute, your body finally relaxes around him and it subsides. It’s replaced with the burning desire to feel more of him. The pretty glow coming in from outside the barn illuminates his face and you smile. “I’m better than alright. I’m perfect,” you assure him. You place a hand delicately on his chest, feeling his heart thrum hard against your fingertips. “This is perfect.”
Joel kisses the tip of your nose. He slides out of you slowly, then right back into you in an experimental thrust that brings your body off the blanket, your back arching in sheer pleasure. It’s such a deliciously tight fit, and he almost can’t believe how fucking good it feels to be sheathed in your taut heat. He drops his head, taking your breast into his mouth, tongue swirling around your hardened nipple as he bucks his hips once more. He’s being careful. Too careful.
“Joel—I need you to move,” you gasp. You drag a hand down his chest and over his soft stomach, letting your fingernails rake lightly over his flushed skin. It’s warm to the touch, covered in a thin sheen of sweat. “Joel, please. Fuck me.”
Thankfully, you don’t have to tell him twice.
Joel releases the pebbled flesh from his mouth with a loud, lewd pop. He pulls his cock out of your dribbling pussy, then slams back into you with such force that he places a hand on the crown of your head, keeping you in place underneath him on the blanket. You wrap your own leg around him, locking your ankles together, your heels digging into the firm curve of his ass. You lift your hips just as he rolls his own right into them. The new angle gives Joel the opportunity to fuck you even deeper and he hits the sensitive, spongy spot inside you, making you see stars. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you hold onto him, moans you’ve never heard come out of your own mouth before ringing in your ears and in his. He starts picking up his pace.
“Baby.” He’s breathless and speaks between every snap of his hips. “Fuck, y’feel s’good—s’tight around me—”
“Don’t stop, Joel. God, please don’t fucking stop,” you plead him, your finger burying themselves in his hair. “Keep going, just like that—fuck, you feel so fucking good inside me—”
You bite down on your bottom lip, adoring how Joel squeezes his dark eyes shut each and every single time the head of his cock brushes that one particularly deep spot inside of you. Knowing that you and your body has this kind of an effect on him, it gives you a boost of confidence. You’ve spent the last couple of years allowing a pathetic excuse of a man—if one could even call him that—pick on you, say things about your body, and make you feel like your inability to conceive a child made you defective. Worthless, even. And here’s a real man, one who makes you feel beautiful with the way he talks to you, the way he kisses you, touches you, and fucks you. You’re not perfect by any means, but Joel Miller makes you feel what your own husband doesn’t.
He makes you feel like you’re enough. More than enough.
The barn fills with a combination of moaning, panting, and the sound of damp skin slapping against damp skin.
Glancing down at you, Joel shakes his head and warns, “Ain’t gonna last much longer, baby. M’so goddamn close.”
An unexpected wave of courage washes over you. Planting your hands firmly on his chest, you take him by complete surprise and slide out from underneath him. A small grunt escapes him as you push him onto his back. Amused, you can’t help but giggle at the shocked expression on his face as you guide him to lie down on the flannel blanket. Eager to see his reaction, you keep your eyes trained on his face as you straddle his lap. You grip the base of his cock in your hand and then slowly sink down onto him, your cunt greedily squeezing him as you slide down until you’re fully seated.
Joel’s jaw falls slack. It’s the most stunning sight he’s ever seen.
You, completely naked on top of him, your pouty lips plump and swollen from his kisses. Your smooth, supple skin glows in the moonlight shining through the open window behind you. All while every inch of Joel’s cock was buried deep inside of you, head nudging at your cervix. Eyes glimmering devilishly, the sexiest little smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth. “Like what you see?”
He tries to speak, but he can’t.
You’ve rendered him speechless. 
Grabbing his hands in yours, you guide them to your hips. His blood roars in his ears and his fingers dig into the pillowy soft flesh, holding on as you begin to rock them back and forth. You throw your head back, your hair spilling over your shoulder. The friction of your clit against his pelvis heightens your pleasure. Joel had thought he would be the one to topple over the edge first, but he’d been wrong.
Eyes pinching shut, you start bouncing yourself on his cock, your desperation mounting. You feel the tension between your hips coiling back tightly, ready to snap forward.
“Fuck, Joel—I’m gonna—I’m so fucking close.”
“Yeah, that’s it. Fuckin’ come for me, baby,” Joel encourages you, his fingers digging even harder into your hips. One of his hands abandons your side and he reaches up and gently takes your slackened jaw in the palm of his hand. He coaxes you to look down at him. “Need you to be a good girl and look at me, peach,” he instructs you, slipping his thumb between your parted lips. “Need to see that pretty face of yours when you come all over my cock, sweetheart.”
“Oh fuck—fuckfuckfuck!”
Crying out, you unravel and fall apart all over him, the ecstasy blurring the edges of your vision. 
It doesn’t take Joel much longer to follow. He lets out a low, guttural growl, choking out a string of profanities as he slams you down onto his lap and holds you in place, spurts of warm come coating your velvet walls. Your pussy squeezes him, draining him of every last drop.
You collapse forward onto him in a sweaty, whimpering mess and he wraps his arms around you. With him still inside you, you both lay there and try to catch your breaths as the high slowly but surely begins to wear off.
After a few minutes, Joel pulls out of you and he shifts your bodies, moving you so you’re now laying beside him. Tucking you against his side, he slides his arm around your shoulders and pulls you even closer. His other hand finds one of yours and he takes it, bringing them both to rest on his chest.
“You alright?” he asks you, lacing his fingers together with yours.
“I’m great,” you answer him tiredly, prompting him to chuckle. “What about you?”
Joel strokes at your hair. “Never been better, sweet girl.”
You groan. “Joel, don’t do that,” you mumble into his shoulder. “You’re going to put me right to sleep.”
He laughs again. “We’ve still got a bit more time, y’know. If you’re tired, you can take a quick nap. I can wake you up in ‘bout an hour when it’s time to head home.”
“No, that’s okay,” you decline the offer, worried he would accidentally fall asleep too. “I really wish we could sleep together—I mean, actually sleep together. In an actual bed. Not having to worry about anything. Just like normal couples do.”
“Well, we ain’t exactly a normal couple, darlin’.”
“No, we’re definitely not,” you murmur. You don’t even realize how sad you’d sounded until you feel Joel give your shoulders a comforting squeeze. 
Neither of you say anything else about it as you spend the next hour laying there, tangled up in each other’s embrace, waiting until it was time to go your separate ways.
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Two women from Springfield, Ohio, are speaking out about the unverified gossip they helped spread, which fueled a viral conspiracy theory about Haitian immigrants eating people's pets. Springfield resident Erika Lee appeared on NBC News on Friday, Sept. 13, to express regret over the impact of a rumor she posted on Facebook, which she had no idea would become a national news story.
It just exploded into something I didn’t mean to happen," she told the outlet. “I’m not a racist,” Lee added, saying that she is mixed race and part of the LGBTQ+ community. “Everybody seems to be turning it into that, and that was not my intent.” Lee said that she has pulled her daughter out of school over fears for her safety and is now also concerned for the Haitian community. “If I was in the Haitians’ position, I’d be terrified, too, worried that somebody’s going to come after me because they think I’m hurting something that they love and that, again, that’s not what I was trying to do.”
According to NewsGuard Reality Check, Lee shared a baseless rumor that she heard third-hand about a pet cat in Springfield going missing, then later being found outside a Haitian family's home hanging upside down and being butchered. The post was shared on a private Facebook page called “Springfield Ohio Crime and Information." Lee told NewsGuard she was "just trying to inform people, you know, again, not saying Haitians as a whole [are] bad.” Lee's claim was screenshotted and posted by an X user on Sept. 5, and the screenshot was spread by conservative-leaning accounts. Eventually, the rumor — along with other unverified stories about Haitian immigrants — snowballed into a larger, harmful conspiracy theory that got platformed during the presidential debate between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump.
Kimberly Newton, the woman who told Lee the story about the cat in the first place, explained to NewsGuard that she first heard the rumor from "an acquaintance of a friend." “I’m not sure I’m the most credible source because I don’t actually know the person who lost the cat,” Newton admitted. "I don't have any proof."
During the Sept. 10 presidential debate, Trump, 78, alleged that immigrants are "eating pets," amplifying the conspiracy theory.
"In Springfield, they're eating the dogs, the people that came in. They're eating the cats. They're eating the pets of the people who live there, and this is what's happening in our country,” Trump claimed. Moderator David Muir fact-checked this claim in real-time, saying Springfield's city manager already clarified that “there have been no credible reports of specific claims of pets being harmed, injured or abused by individuals within the immigrant community.” Springfield, which has a large Haitian immigrant community, quickly became a target of Trump's fan base. In the days since the debate, the city has been plagued by threats that have forced the closure of numerous schools, government buildings and hospitals.
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eeunoia · 2 months
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ENHYPEN Imagines
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insolitus | yjw.
part four
pairings: yang jungwon x reader
synopsis: you’ve always thought jungwon is out of this world, out of ordinary. he’s someone who seems familiar but at the same time mysterious for almost everybody. you didn’t expect that he himself will unfold more of him with you and it was an insolitus experience.
word count: 6k
warnings: yandere themes, mention of murder, violence, obsessive love, grammatical errors, kissing. (let me know if i missed some)
note: i’ll post jay’s version of this mini series before posting part two of limerence. thank you so much for supporting my works. replies and reblogs are highly encouraged. ily and stay safe!
( part one ; part two ; part three )
fic mood board › here
eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved.
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“I feel so bad for her...” your eyes glanced at one of the students looking at the banner being pinned at one of the bulletin boards of your school. A terrified look on her face flashes and you can’t blame her.
One of the girls from your school disappeared on her way home days ago. Missing posters with her face on it are being spread along the whole town to help for the search.
You jolt when a warm hand rests over your waist and soon Jungwon’s familiar scent invades your nose.
“Wonie,” you utter his name under your breath, eyes still fixed at the missing posters.
Jungwon dips his head and kisses your neck once before tugging your body closer to his, pressing your back on his chest.
“I’m scared.”
As somebody who experienced being captured months ago, you cannot help but to think of the traumatizing situation that girl is experiencing at the moment. Your hand shakes, heart thumping so fast in fear.
“Hey,” Jungwon’s soft voice rings at the side of your ear.
When you didn’t respond, he placed both hands on your hips to turn your body, facing him. His gaze soften at the sight of your scared face. He raised his hands and cupped your cheeks, directing your full attention towards him instead.
“I’m here. Nothing bad will happen to you.” he says, giving full assurance and comfort.
Right. Nobody will abduct you. He’s always there for you, he will not let anybody take you away again. There’s nothing to be worried about.
Those are the things you kept on repeating inside your mind. Finally, you calm down and just nuzzle over his chest after he pulls you into a tight embrace.
A conniving grin appears on his lips for a split second.
Of course, there’s no way you’ll be kidnapped because your captor is right there. The same person whose comforting and assuring you at the moment. You have no idea that he’s got you wrapped over his fingers, fully trapped to him. You’re caged without your knowledge.
“Do you think your Dad can do something to help find her?” you whisper, heart still aching for the missing girl.
He sighs, “I will ask him to send help. I’ll also ask for extra security around the isolated places here in our town to avoid any of this incidents.”
You nod, tightening your hug over his waist.
“Thank you.”
“Anything for my bunny.” he dropped a kiss on top of your head.
“Jungwon.”
The two of you looked at the person approaching. It was Leehan, one of the student council officers. He glanced at you before looking back at your boyfriend.
He didn’t pulled off the hug and wait for what Leehan needs.
“The principal asks for us. They need to hear about our plan for gathering volunteers to search for (sunghoon’s girl).” he says seriously.
Leehan’s one of the popular kids in your school. A lot of girls admires him, but they always got intimidated by how serious he is so they don’t shoot their shot at him. You can’t blame them, he seems like the type who will reject girls without batting an eye.
“All right.” Jungwon answered shortly before pulling off the hug.
You pursed your lips into a pout and looked up at him with puppy eyes. He smirks, finding you adorable. He cupped your face and leans in for a kiss on your lips.
“I will text Jay hyung so he can pick you up. They’re at the hangout place. Wait me there.” he instructed.
“B-But,” you gulped, tugging the lower part of his uniform. “can’t I just wait for you?”
Jungwon’s heart leaps in joy. This is what he longed for. This is exactly what he wants, what he dreamt for. You being totally dependent to him. The look on your face indicates how much you’re dependent on him and gives off the vibe that you’ll go crazy being away from him.
He tries so hard to suppress the big evil grin and pursed his lips into a pout instead, he gave your chin a gentle caress.
“It will probably last for a while. I don’t want to keep you waiting that long.” his tone sounded too soft not to oblige to. In the end, you had no choice but to do as he told.
Not long after, just like what he said, his friend Jay arrived. His clean cut black hair just fits perfectly to his bad boy image. Even if its been months since you’ve met his friends, there's still this invisible wall that kept a good distance between you and them. Jungwon’s very cautious and always limits the limitation vaguely that you noticed just recently.
Jay smiles and pulls one of his hand out from his pocket to strike a small wave, “Hi, y/n!” he greets.
You returned the smile just so he wouldn’t notice about you overthinking and overanalyzing every little things.
“Hey,” you responds that caught his attention.
He didn’t gave any reaction to it and just kept his smile. “Your boyfriend asks me to take you to the hangout place while he’s busy doing president duties.” he says trying to make a conversation.
It was obvious how he’s making you feel more comfortable around him and you appreciate it big time. He then guides you towards his family car, a driver stands patiently beside it. He walks towards with such ease, looking too relaxed.
“Get in.” he tilts his head to the car and without thinking much about it, you get inside.
He’s one of Jungwon’s most trusted friends. He once mentioned how they grew up together and basically knew each others all their lives. You find it cool and understand why their friendship is just that strong.
“The others are there too since we don’t have school tomorrow we agreed to hang out more for today.” Jay explains as the car started to drive away from the parking lot.
You nodded your head and kept your mouth shut, eyes fixed outside the window. Jay’s gaze darted at you and he watch silently. He’s still amused as to how Jake and Jungwon manages to pull that thing off that they did to you.
Jungwon’s being very careful ever since and somehow, he finds it adorable. The way he’s very cautious over everything is funny for him. Now, his Heeseung hyung is the same. Specially that he have a girl inside his place as well.
“We’re here.” Jay snapped you out from your thought and opened the door. He steps out and kept it open for you.
“T-Thank you,”
He nods and started walking inside. You followed silently, hands fidgetting nonstop. This will be the first time you will spend time with Jungwon’s friends without him so its making you slightly nervous.
“Y/n’s here!” Jay casually announces after you two got inside.
Multiple heads whips at your direction and you tried your best to show a sincere smile, although you can feel your heart thumping so hard out of nervousness.
You saw Heeseung by the sofa, busy with his phone, but he lifts his head to look at you. With a small smile he waved to acknowledge your arrival which you returned with a small wave too.
Jay naturally went over the pool table, joining Jake and Sunghoon whose currently having a 8ball competition. Jake smiles brightly and waves excitedly at your direction.
“Hi y/n!” he greets full of enthusiasm. He even lets go of his cue stick and handed it to Jay.
Sunghoon just gave you a short nod, not even bothering to flash a smile. You’re compeletly used to it as he’s the most reserved member of their friend group. He rarely initiates conversation and only response when being asked. For you, he’s really intimidating and mysterious. Like he holds a lot of secrets.
“Jungwonie is busy?” Jake’s suddenly in front of you, acting all friendly. Well, he really is the least intimidating between all of them.
Sunoo and Ni-ki finally turns at your way after they lose at the round of the game they’re currently playing. Sending short waves and small smiles then going back to gaming once again.
You glanced back at Jake, “Yes. The principal asks for him to discuss about the volunteering for the search.”
Jake doesn’t seem surprised. For some reasons, you cannot find any empathy or even a bit of concern through his eyes. He just nods his head and continues smiling. You didn’t say anything for a while and all you can hear is the playful banters Jay and Sunghoon throws over each other while competing over billiards.
“A-Are you guys going to volunteer?” you finally ask, feeling the slight awkwardness.
Jake pursed his lips and nods eagerly. Noticing how you’re giving him this look.
“We’ll surely volunteer to help search for her. I can also ask my parents for more help.” he says that eases you.
It made you feel bad for actually thinking oddly over Jake. He’s really a nice guy and the doctors who helps with your recovery are basically employees in their hospital. They barely even ask for payment and just genuinely wished you get better fast.
“I want to help too.” you mumbled.
“I doubt Jungwon will let you.”
Your brows narrowed, “W-Why? I mean, I can come with you guys...”
He sighs and gave you this small smile, almost a grin. “I’m sure he doesn’t want you to feel traumatized again or make you go through it. You know this can trigger it, right?”
That halts your thoughts and actually realized that he was right. Similiar scenarios can actually trigger your episodes and so Jungwon does everything to prevent it from happening. It's been a month ever since the last attack, and so you don’t want that to ever happen again. You don’t want seeing your parents and Jungwon so worried.
Your heads whips at the direction of Sunghoon and Jay when one cheers after winning. Sunghoon groans and pushed his friend's shoulder as he dances in a silly way, his way of showing victory.
“You lost?” Jake asks Sunghoon with a big teasing grin.
The boy rolls his eyes and sat down at the stool chair by the corner of the pool table, then fished his phone out from his pocket.
“Come on, Jake! Let’s play.” Jay challenged him while gathering the balls from the pockets of the table.
Jake snickers a chuckle then agrees before glancing at you. “Come hang out with us, y/n. Jungwon will probably take time.” he then guided you towards the two other boys.
Sunghoon lifts his gaze from his phone over at you then dragged another stool chair near his so you can sit down. You thanked him and Jake starts this another round of game with Jay.
You glanced at Sunghoon whose very quiet. Its not new, he’s always like this.
“I'm sorry about (Sunghoon’s girl).”
He was caught off guard as you noticed how his fingers halts from tapping on his screen. Slowly, he lifts his head to look at you with a confused look on his face. His eyes blank, but you can see that he wasn’t expecting what you just said.
“What do you mean? We’re not even close. Nothing to be sorry about.” he responsed.
You pursed your lips, “Yeah, but I noticed how you always looks at her.”
That was true. Whenever you guys hangs out, Sunghoon seems to be always looking and watching her from afar. You’re a bit observant and its easy for you to put two and two together. It wasn’t that hard to understand that he’s into her.
He stares at you before sighing and locking his phone. His shoulder relaxed and he cranes his neck to face his friends.
“I just...” his words halt. Probably doesn’t know what word to say.
You heaved a sigh and smiled before clapping your hands to his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll find her.”
He glanced back at you and a hint of an unknown emotion flickers through his eyes. You can’t tell what exactly it was.
He nods his head and looks back to his friends. His jaw clenched hard, eyes staring blankly at his friends.
“How are you coping up?” he suddenly asks.
“Fine, I guess? I mean, I was terrified when I heard the news and basically shaking while looking at her missing posters, but Jungwon was there to calm me down.” a small smile spreads across your face, remembering how sweet your boyfriend is.
“I wanted to join the volunteer for her search, but Jake said Jungwon won’t probably allow me as it can be the cause of the trigger of my traumas.”
Sunghoon glances and nods his head, “He has a point.” he shortly replied.
You nodded, agreeing.
“I’m sure Jungwon just wants the best for you. You need to be careful, there’s really a lot of dangerous people in this world.” the way he said those words sent instant chills on you.
He isn’t scaring you on purpose. Maybe it was his eyes? Or the way his tone lowers while saying it? You have no idea.
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“Good morning, y/n!” you smiled at one of the student who greeted you then waves at her.
You and Jungwon just arrived campus and you’re now on your way to your class. He was again asked to come at the student council’s office for some important matters. You almost roll your eyes, worried that they’re overworking him.
You understand that its a salient case and actions are needed to be taken care of right away, its just you can’t help but to worry for your boyfriend’s health.
After arriving at the locker’s area, you’re quick to find yours and was about to open it when your phone rang. One of your hand hangs while holding the lock and the other fished your phone.
“Hello?”
“y/n! Sweetheart!” your Mom’s cheerful voice echoes from the other line. A smile instantly made its way to your lips. It’s not like you don’t meet your parents or something. It is a small town and so it was easy for them to visit you or vice versa. It’s just, you've lived with your parents your whole life and its still hard to get used not having them in the same roof.
“Mom! How are you?” your hand drops and just focused first on talking to your Mother.
“Oh I’m doing good! How about you? How are you and Jungwon?”
“We’re fine, Mom. He’s taking good care of me.”
She hums, “Oh I know he does. He’s a good kid after all.”
“He is.”
There’s a short silence before she giggles, “So, I'm expecting to see you two this weekend okay?”
Your face lightens up after remembering the said plan you and your parents made last last week. Jungwon agrees to it and so you’ve confirmed it to your Mom making her so excited.
“Yes, I’ll see you soon, Mom.”
“See you, darling. Curry is Jungwon’s favorite, right? I will cook for him.” she sounded so excited and that tugs something in your heart.
You knew how greatful your parents are to Jungwon. After all, he was the one who saved you.
“All right, Mom. Thank you.”
“No problem.”
She bids goodbye after that and you’re smiling while looking at your phone. You have no idea you’ll end up in this kind of relationship with Jungwon. He’s very sweet and your source of comfort ever since the incident. You managed to get through all of these, thanks to him.
You opened your locker after snapping back to your senses. When the lock clicks and it slides open, something dropped from inside.
“Huh?” you mumbled softly, confused.
A paper, that looks like its been ripped from a notebook, is at the ground. It fell from your locker and as far as you remember, it doesn’t belong to you.
Without putting much thought about it, you crouched down to get it and check what it is.
Your brows then narrowed down after reading what’s written on the paper.
‘Don’t trust anyone around you. Specially Yang Jungwon.’
That was the one written. Your heart thumped hardly, chest tightening for some unknown reason. There’s no complete context to this note and whoever left this clearly doesn’t want to be known.
This has to be a joke, right? Why wouldn’t you trust Jungwon? The person who wrote this was probably just playing with you. Everybody knows who saved you. How can you not trust that person?
Your mind wanders off and started to be occupied by alot of things. It may sound wrong, but lately you’ve been noticing a lot of things with Jungwon and his friends. You’re a very good observant.
It’s not actual bad things, just some things that other people may think of as nothing, but to someone who overthinks alot, you find them odd.
First, they’ve been talking about Heeseung’s girl. She’s not named and all, but she’s been mentioned by the boys a couple of times. Asking about her condition and all. You can tell they’re limiting the things they say and questions they ask whenever you’re around.
When you asked Jungwon if Heeseung’s girl goes to your school, he said yes and that she’s very sick so she’s now taking a time off and resting.
It may not be odd and it can happen. People does get sick and no matter how sad it is, that’s reality. But what doesn’t sit right for you is those medicines you’ve seen multiple times.
Jake’s family owns the main hospital in your town and it would be very easy for him to get those things. Most of it are medicines used to get people unconscious, the ones used to patients so they can calm down and pass out. It made you wonder where they’re using it? Why does he supply his friends with those?
Did Jungwon got some too?
“Y/n,” you jolted making you drop the paper.
You quickly crouched to get it and turned around to face the person who calls for you. Leehan’s concerned face greets you, his eyes drops at your hand and you hid it behind you.
“Sorry to scare you.” he says, eyes still looking at your hand.
“It's f-fine.”
He glanced back on your eyes, “Jungwon asked me to let you know that he can’t walk you to your classroom.”
You nodded and smiled awkwardly. He stares at your eyes for a while without saying anything else.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Yes.” you answered right away.
He just nods his head and left. When you saw him finally out of your sight, you heaved a sigh and rests your back at the locker. You got caught up to your thoughts that you forgot that class is almost starting. Thanks to the bell ringing, you hurried to get your stuff and go to your class.
The whole day, you’re just spacing out. The message in that note bothers you so much. No matter how hard you try to dismiss it and convince yourself that its probably just some students playing some sick pranks on you. But something just doesn’t sit right to you.
“Hey,” you jolted and glanced at the person beside you.
Jungwon’s eyes are staring carefully at you, hand resting at the small of your back, caressing it softly. He noticed how occupied are you and he’s worried that you’re hiding something from him.
“H-Huh?”
He kept a straight face, doesn’t let you know that he’s caught up on how troubled you are. This is so much not like you. He smiles gently then looked at you with concern.
“Are you okay? You’ve been out of it since this morning.” he tilts his head to catch your eyes. “Did something happen?”
His other hand reaches for your hands, intertwining his to your fidgeting fingers. You stare at his warm looking and beautiful eyes. The very same ones that comforts you every time.
A part of you feels so guilty that you have the heart to doubt him. Him. Yang Jungwon, who saved you from being kidnapped. There’s no way that he’s someone who you shouldn’t trust. Your heart swells and you smiled warmly.
“I-I’m sorry.” you started and let out a heavy sigh. Tears slowly brims your eyes as you lean to place a kiss on his lips. Just a peck and Jungwon shuts his eyes as your lips touches his then opens it again to stare at you lovingly.
You let go from his hold and slid your hand inside your pocket to retrieve the note that you received from a while ago.
“I found this inside my locker this morning.” and you slid it in front of him.
Jungwon’s eyes then darted at it before he gently take it from your hand. He unfolds it then reads what written on it. You sniffed, totally feeling guilty because of it. Also a little afraid that it will upset him.
Instead of angry looking eyes, Jungwon looks at you with worried ones.
“Some people are probably just playing pranks on you.” he says calmly. You nodded since that’s what you thought too.
“Y-Yeah, I’m s-sorry.” your head lowered.
Jungwon sighs heavily and then gently tugs you closer to him, placing a peck on your forehead.
“It’s okay, baby. I understand. It’s fine to feel scared.” he assured and you hugged him even tighter.
“But to make you feel better, do you want to stay at your parents?”
You instantly pulled away from him with widen eyes. “R-Really?”
His eyes roamed around your face before he smiles softly and nodded his head. He raised his hand to gently brush away some of your hair strands.
“Yes, bun. Whatever makes you feel more safe.”
Your heart aches, both in happiness and guilt. How can you ever doubt this person? All he do is care for you.
“Thank you, Jungwon.”
“Anything for you.” and he leans to give your nose a kiss before leaving one on the lips as well.
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“Thank you for having me today, Mr. and Mrs. (surname).” Jungwon bows politely to your parents.
“No problem, Jungwon! You know you’re always welcome here in our home, right?” your Mom caress his arm that made your boyfriend smile, showing off his dimples.
“Y/n, walk Jungwon out.”
You nod your head and held hands with him as you head outside of your house.
It’s friday night and you two went home as planned, although it got a day early since Jungwon promised that you can stay here for the mean time. Your parents are of course happy about it, your Dad to be specifically.
You had dinner with Jungwon and everything went smoothly. The missing girl was also brought to the conversation and he explained that he wanted to help on the search. He informed them too that he refused for you to be part of it so the chance of being traumatized can be avoided.
“Thank you so much, Won.” your eyes shines through the night light near your house. Jungwon smiles as his thumb rubs over your hand, sending warmth.
He pursed his lips, “You’re welcome.” he heaved a sigh. “Tho I will miss you around our place.”
Your heart swells, “I’ll be back soon.”
He nods, “Just focus on getting proper rest, okay?”
He’s so sweet and caring. You can’t imagine not having him in your life.
“Please eat proper food, as much as possible limit food deliveries.” your reminders made him grin widely.
“I can’t promise that but I will try.”
You nodded with a wide smile. He leans in for an affectionate kiss. The way he did that gave you an impression that he will really miss you. Your hands snaked over his nape, pulling him even closer. You will definitely miss him too.
His driver opened the car’s door for him and with a small smile you waved at him. He even rolled the car’s window to look at you.
“Call me anytime, okay? I will be right here if you need me.”
“I love you.”
His smile grew wider. “I love you more.”
The next day, you and your Mom went to the near market to fetch some fresh vegetables. Some old vendors recognize you right away, getting all excited seeing you around.
“y/n! It’s good to see you looking so well.” one even stated.
“Thank you, its good to see you too.” and you bowed that made her smile warmly.
“Jungwon’s such a good kid, isn’t he?”
You nodded at your Mom. On the way to your house, you two can’t help but to have a conversation about your boyfriend. You’re aware of how thankful she is for him and how bad she wants for him to be with you forever.
“He’s good looking, smart, responsible and even from a great family.” she commented while smiling widely at you.
She’s always been praying for you to find someone who will take good care of you. After you disappeared, she prayed that when you returned, she will not ask for anything else. Since you’re the only child they have, both of your parents wanted nothing but what’s best for you. When you went missing, it felt like the will to live was gone along with you. They’re like dead people, trying to survive.
Jungwon brought them their beloved daughter. And again, they feel alive. So for your parents, he’s not just your savior but also theirs. They will forever be greatful for him.
You spent the day with your parents, trying to enjoy it with them. This is like your second chance in life, and so you wanted to make the best out of it.
“Where are you going, y/n?” your Mom asks when she noticed you putting on shoes.
You looked over your shoulder, “(friend name) is in the library right now. She asked me to meet up for a while.”
Despite the look of worry on her face, she tried to pull up a smile and nodded. After that incident before, she wants to prevent you from going out, specially if Jungwon’s not around. But she also doesn’t want to hold you back and make you feel like a prisoner.
“Please be safe.”
You nodded, “I won’t take long, Mom.”
After bidding goodbye with her, you headed to the public library near your house. It’s a walking distance, but it will take a while unlike if you take a cab.
The library is packed with people, you chose the far end part of the library where there’s lesser people. You picked a random book to get yourself entertained while waiting for your friend. She’s taking time and you didn’t even realized that you dozed off.
You jolted when you felt your phone constantly vibrating.
“Shit.” you cursed and checked your watch to see what’s time it is.
“Oh my gosh,” you stood up and quickly walked outside the library. There’s fewer people now since it’s almost 8pm. You can’t believe that you slept that long and that your friend didn’t even showed up.
You read a text message from her that she cannot make it because of an emergency, but the message arrived after you dozed off.
You slightly calmed down after seeing that the streets aren’t that vacant. People walks around and you stared at the street then spaced out a bit.
It’s just been two days ever since Jungwon let you stay with your parents and you already missed him. It made you wonder why you even wanted to do that. Jungwon’s your comfort person. If there’s someone you should entrust your life with, it should be him.
After making up your mind, you decided to text your parents that you’re with your friend and that you’re heading to Jungwon’s place since its closer. You will surprise him.
You lied being with your friend because they will worry about you and that’s the last thing you wanted. They’ve been worried for you all the time. Even if they don’t see it, the fear of losing you again always occupies their mind.
You tried waiting for a cab but its already been ten minutes and not even one drove past that street. Realizing that it will delay you more, you decided to walk towards Jungwon’s place.
The walk seems peaceful. The stars above you is pretty and the sound of cars driving past you from time to time is a bit comforting. It was fun, not until you felt weird. Like someone is watching you.
Without being too obvious, you craned your neck slightly to look over your shoulder. A man is walking behind you. There’s a good distance between the two of you, but due to what happened from the past it instantly made you panic.
Your heart races and tries to ignore it. Maybe he’s just like you, trying to go somewhere. Not everyone wants to kidnap you. This is nothing. You’re just overthinking.
But when its been five minutes and he’s still following you, you can’t stop yourself from getting even scared and so you pulled your phone out from your pocket then dialled Jungwon’s number.
That man can be harmless, but its better safe than sorry.
Just two rings and your boyfriend picks up right away.
“Hi, baby.”
“Jungwon!” you whispered with shaking tone.
“Baby? Is something wrong?” he noticed your odd tone right away.
“H-Help me! I think somebody is following me!” you hurry your steps and the man’s pace got faster too. This time you’re certain that he’s stalking you.
“What? Why are you outside?” he shuffled in the background.
“P-Please! I’m scared!”
“Turn on your location. I’m on my way to you.” and you did as he told while trying to walk faster.
When you’re about to walk towards the corner, a hand grabbed you. It’s that man. He’s wearing a hood and his hair covers his eyes completely. He also wears a mask that prevents you from seeing his face, making him unknown.
You yelped and quickly yank your arm back before starting running for your life. Tears brim your eyes as you continued running with no direction. He’s still following you because you can hear his steps.
You don’t know for how long but when you made it at the end of this dark alleyway, you bumped into someone. Your eyes shut tightly and you screamed trying to get away from the person’s grip.
“Let me go!” you screamed.
“Baby! It’s me.” and after hearing Jungwon’s familiar voice your eyes cracks open.
Tears streamed down your face as you hug your boyfriend and he caged you between his arms. Jungwon’s eyes roamed around angrily, some of his father’s men approaches him.
“Search for that person.” he seriously said as he tries to comfort you.
“He grabbed me, Jungwon! He will take me!” your cries makes him more angrier.
“Hey,” he cupped your face and made you look at him.
“I’m here, okay? Nobody will take you.” and he kissed your forehead.
He calmed you down first before he took you back to his place. He called a nurse and also your parents to inform them about what happened making them rush to go see you. Cops went too to interview him since he asked not to bother you as you’re still shaken up.
“Thank you for saving her again, son.” your Father claps his hand over his shoulder. This time, no doubt can be seen through his eyes.
Jungwon nods and excused himself. He pulls his phone out from his pocket and dialled his friend’s number. His jaw clenches hard while remembering how scared you look.
“Jungwon?” Heeseung answered.
“Hyung what the fuck? I thought we agreed on doing the plan next week?” he hissed at his friend.
“What do you mean?" his hyung seems taken aback, astonished and clueless as to what’s happening.
“Your man went overboard, he scared the shit out of my girl! We agreed next week!” he’s so pissed just by remember how terrified you were.
Heeseung was about to say something when somebody calls for Jungwon. He cranes his neck and saw that it was your Mom. There’s still tears on her eyes.
“She's asking for you, Jungwon.”
He nods right away.
“I’ll end the call now. Give me the name of that man, I’m getting rid of him.” he whispers and then ended the call before heading to your room.
“Baby,” he calls that made you lift your head.
He opens his arm and joins you at the bed. You’re still crying and its making him even more mad. This is not what he wanted. They never agreed on that man touching you. All he ask is for him to stalk you and scare you a bit. He will surely pay for it.
“Shh, I’m here now.” he kissed your temple and continued hugging you.
While comforting you, Jungwon receives a call. He saw that it was his Heeseung hyung. He sighs and answered it.
“Let’s talk tomorrow hyung, y/n needs someone to—”
“Jungwon this is important.” he started.
“What is it?”
“I called my men and they just told me that they didn’t follow y/n. They know we planned on next week so they’re not the ones behind it.” he said that made Jungwon fell silent, confused.
“Someone else is tailing y/n.”
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