#everyone who got jealous is chillin don’t you worry!!

[honey-coloured-passion]

Surprise! (Sapnap x Reader)

Request: “Sapnap X Reader where he surprises the reader while she’s streaming”

Words: 1.5k

“Hello chat how are your days going? Good, bad? Finals!? Oh my gosh I hate finals dude I’m so sorry f to pay respects,” you paused to stretch and adjust your headset as you had just started your stream. “I’m kinda just bored today chat so what should we do? Mods can you all run a poll or something?” You glanced at your discord and saw messages from Sap.

“Hey angel!”

“Oh you’re streaming!”

“You look cute on stream” 

You rolled your eyes but chat caught you blushing and saw that Sapnap was viewing the stream, and immediately lost it. They’d been shipping the two of you for months, but little did they know you guys had been dating for three months, since you met up in person for the first time. It hadn’t felt like the right time to announce to the world and you’d wanted to establish your relationship privately before telling the fans, but that didn’t mean you’d had a couple slip ups leading the fans to theorize. 

This included you calling Sapnap various forms of babe, bubs, Nick, love etc. Same went for Sap who gets teased for endlessly rushing to your defense on the SMP and responding casually when you call him a pet name, almost like he does it all the time... yeah, chat was on to the two of you. 

“Shut up guys and tell me what we’re doing today! We could go grind netherite tools and chill? How does that sound?” the SMP always got a resounding yes, and just like that you were off, the SMP had won the poll anyways. 

You messaged Sap in discord, “wanna call for the stream?” and quickly he was on the call with you. 

“Hello Mr. Sapitus Napitus, how’s your day going on this fine Friday?” you laughed as you ran through the nether, having just collected enough wool and planks to make beds. “It’s going, I was bored as heck so I wound up here, what about you?” You knew the longer end to that story, his family was out and he thought editing would take longer but now he was stuck at home. “Same same, I’m chillin and got bored after scrolling on Tiktok for like two hours so now I’m here!” You moved on, blowing up the nether hunting for netherite scrap while talking with chat.

A familiar notification went off, “water check from, um ,GogySupremacy420,000, oh my god what a username. Alright everyone drink some water! This is good I haven’t drank water since like breakfast.” you heard Sap pipe up, “you’ve eaten since breakfast right?” you rolled your eyes, “nope I’ll eat after stream don’t worry Simpnap” tacking on the nickname earned a scoff from the simp himself. “Not a simp,” he answered, giving you a punch in the game making you hit him back. After a mini fight ending in you threatening to place a bed and effectively kill the both of you, you were back to mining. 

“Hey I’ve gotta go drive and grab something want me to stay on call though?” your head whipped to discord to look for another message, knowing Sap didn’t have anywhere to be tonight. But there was nothing. “Oh I don’t mind, chat and I enjoy your company!” you said with a grin. You’d made it to enchanting now, having found all the netherite you needed.

As you sat on the spider spawner you heard Sap get in the car, the familiar beep of him unlocking his car and the revving of the engine making you laugh, “you’re car is literally so old I’m surprised it starts,” you heard Sapnap scoff, “old?! don’t you dare speak to her like that, she’s beautiful,” you rolled your eyes, Callahan who must’ve been on your stream quickly piped up in the game chat “Y/n is jealousss!” now it was your turn to be offended, “you think I’d be jealous of a bucket of rusty bolts and oil? No chance,” you laughed, checking chat as they were spamming JealousChamp. “Whatever you say ba- Y/n,” Sapnap played it off with a cough and you quickly changed the subject to how much XP you would need for all your tools. 

“Hey I’ve gotta go on deafen real quick be back soon!” Sap’s voice flooded your mic, he must’ve brough the mic close to his mouth because his smooth and deep voice curled around the mic perfectly, sending shivers down your spine as his warm tone filled your headphones. “B-bye” you choked out, pretending to adjust your headset as you continued killing mobs. “So chat, got any questions to pass this alone time?” you watched the chat speed up, hoping your mods would filter out poor questions. “Favorite. color? Easy who knows? Yup! You guys know me too well. Ooh favorite fast food place? This is hard cuz I don’t wanna say something you all don’t know but I can tell you guys my McDonalds order because it’s immaculate. Do I know Sapnap’s order? This is a good test you guys, I’m pretty sure it’s like an ungodly amount of spicy McChickens and a Dr. Pepper but I swear he changes it like every day.” you laughed, reading out other people’s orders then moved to debating if the icecream machine is actually broken or if the workers are just lazy. They’re lazy, confirmed by workers in chat apparently. 

“I’m back but I have to go in like five minutes, did you miss me?” Sap’s voice flooded your headphones again. As you adjusted his volume you teased, “hmm nope!” to which he began pouting making you laugh at his “baby rage”. Just as you were finishing with enchants on your axe he had to go. “Don’t miss me too much I’ll talk to you later, chat behave yourself I know you all will miss me but just leave y/n open in a muted tab,” he teased making you roll your eyes, “whatever we’re gonna have a super secret conversation after you’re gone about how we only let you on the stream out of pity right chat?” you couldn’t stop smiling and laughing through the teasing. “Okay okay, I actually gotta go, see you soon,” you bid Sapnap farewell and returned to joking with chat, turning on media share to pass some time as you reacted to animatics, hilarious compilations, and the occasional y/n x sapnap video making chat light up as you laughed through the videos. 

As you watched the videos and killed cave spiders you got a text from Sapnap. 

You still streaming?

Yup! Where’d you end up going? you replied.

Open your door and find out

Your breath hitched. “One- one minute chat,” you pulled your headset off and heard a small rustling in your hallway. As soon as you tabbed out of the game you stood up, rushing off camera to fling your door open and,

There he was. His smile was infectious and you couldn’t help yourself from screaming and running into his open arms. As he held you, rocking back and forth, you heard him mumbled. “I missed you”  Into your ear while you clung to him. “I missed you more,” you whispered back, Finally, you released him enough to peck his lips, unable to wipe the grin from your face. “I got food cuz you said you didn’t eat and I figured if I had time I wanted to spend it with you!” your heart practically melted, taking a bag of food in one hand and holding Sapnap’s hand with your other you realized you forgot to mute or end stream.

“Um, so I’m still streaming... what do we do?” you glanced up nervously but Sapnap just started laughing, “oh my god I guess I can say hi so chat doesn’t lose it’s mind,” you swallowed nervously, glancing down at your phone you had been tagged in endless clips of you running off camera then screaming about 15 seconds later. “Yeah better give them an answer,” you giggled.

Rushing back to your setup you saw chat blowing up as you put your headset back on. “Heyyy guys! So yeah, um I guess I can just show you that, we have a special guest!” You gestured to Sapnap to come into frame, pulling up a chair as he sat down next to you. “Yeah I gave y/n a visit cuz I was bored. Hi chat, hello, hello! You guys are going really fast dang,” Sapnap gripped your hand under the table, you squeezed back, leaning into his embrace. “So um, I think Sap and I are gonna hangout, right?” you glanced at him and he nodded, he really hadn’t stopped smiling since he got to your place. “Yup! Maybe if there’s time we’ll go live again I’m not sure! Kinda spur of the moment yeah?” you finished your thought. Saying goodbye to chat you ended stream just a few minutes later.

“We’ve really gotta tell people soon, I wanna be able to hold your hand on camera not just off,” Sapnap said between bites of food. “Yeah, I think it’ll be okay right?” You had always been nervous about stans hating you or people trying to get in between your relationship. “As long as I’ve got you I’m more than fine, I’m- I don’t know I guess I’m pogchamp,” you shook your head, “god you are such a dork,” Sapnap scrunched his nose with a laugh, “I’m your dork though so I’m so special!” and you couldn’t agree more. <3

[kasey-writes-stuff]

Got a request for a ler!mcyt of my choice and lee!reader sooooo here it is!

Sam

You and Sam were on a discord call with a few of the guys, it was yours and Sam’s first time meeting in real life! You had been hanging out for a good few hours now and things were great! Well... besides the fact your love language is touch and you don’t know Sam’s love language or how he feels about physical touch in general so you had hardly touched at all apart from the initial hug you briefly shared at the airport... it was very short though you being the first to break it off despite desperately not wanting to, you didn’t know how long of a hug he’d be comfy with and didn’t wanna overstep his boundaries...

“So y/n how was the flight?” Dream asked, you shrugged “Eh not too bad I got the aisle seat and two passengers next to me were teenagers who just sat on their phones most of the plane ride, turbulence wasn’t too bad either” Dream nodded “Thats good then” Ponk asks “So what have you and my Sammy poo been up to?” He giggles softly as Sam rolls his eyes fondly before saying “Not much really just helped them get unpacked and we’ve been chillin watching tv” Sap raised his eyebrows “Oh watching tv hm? Say they been cuddling you yet or asking for tickles?” Your face immediately turns bright red as you exclaim “SAPNAP SHUT UP!” Sam tilts his head confused “uh no they haven’t, I mean I got them to sit on the same couch as me but they haven’t really shown any want of physical touch so I’ve been respecting of that, why do you ask such specific questions sap?” Sap softly smiles “sorry y/n I just figured you would’ve told him or he would’ve found out by now” You sigh softly at him in a light hearted manner not upset at him just throughly embarrassed “it’s fine sap don’t apologize... and no I haven’t and he hasn’t... you know me I always put everyone else’s comfort and needs above my own so I didn’t wanna push things so quickly...”

Sam turns and looks at you softly “Y/N I love that you’re always thinking of others but please think of yourself for once and explain what sapnap is on about” Your eyes soften as you look into his “Well it’s just... my main love language is physical touch and usually whenever I’m with Sap, George and Dream I hug them and cuddle them a lot especially when watching tv and movies but really just any chance I get to be connected to them even just our pinkies being connected I take it because it makes me feel really calm and happy but with this being our first time meeting I don’t know your love language or just feelings on physical touch in general and I was too embarrassed to ask because I didn’t wanna push any boundaries...”

Sam had turned into the pouty face emoji, he lightly and carefully cupped your cheek “Y/N thank you for being worried about my boundaries honey but if you wanted cuddles you should’ve just asked, I would give them to you in a heart beat!” Your eyes slowly look towards his “Really you’re not just saying that are you? Because I really don’t want you to just be feeling like-“ Sam gently puts a finger over your mouth to shush you giggling a bit as he says “honey honey honey ppplllhehehahassehehe calm down, I’m not just saying it to say it I’m more than okay with physical touch I don’t know much about love languages but I would guess it’s probably mine too so don’t worry okay?” His thumb gently caressed your cheek as you smiled softly at him “Okay I’ll try to calm down and think of myself more” Sam smiled softly “you can do it I know you can”

George suddenly pipes up smirking softly as he says “So are we just gonna ignore the last bit that sapnap asked about or what?” Your face flushes a light red at his words and smirk as you quickly try and act oblivious out of flusterdness “Uh what last bit all he mentioned was cuddling right? I mean I don’t know what you all heard but I only heard about the cuddling right?” They all rolled their eyes and a few of them giggled softly, sap spoke up “Actually George is right I did mention something else, I asked if you had for tickles yet” he smirked clearly satisfied with how your blush was already turning an even more noticeable red

Sam raised an eyebrow curiously “uh no they haven’t asked for any tickles? Why do they like them?” Dream grins “Oh no no no they don’t just like them really they love them! Like I’m talking all tickles, rough, soft,playful, anything and almost anywhere!” George nods “Yea the only off limit spots are their feet and knees because they just don’t feel comfortable with their feet being touched and their knees aren’t ticklish neither is their neck” sap nods “Yea they just feel pain whenever someone tries to tickle their knees so we always stay away from there” Ponk who had been silent most of the time just taking in the info his own self possibly for future reference..... audibly awed about how precious this whole thing was “Y/N you are literally the most precious person I think I’ve ever had the absolute pleasure of meeting, we have to meet up in person sometime so I can give you the biggest hug possible!”

You pout slightly at ponks overwhelming kindness and adorableness “Aweee ponksss we’ll meet up soon I’ll be sure of it!” He clapped and smiled excitedly making you smile more, Sam suddenly spoke up “excuse me you’re not meeting my ponky before me!” You scoffed lightly “just watch me!” He snickered softly as he reached out and poked your side “No! You’ll be watching me meet him first!” You jumped and yelped slightly from the poke “ah! Nooo Sam it’ll be you watching me meet him first! And I’m gonna give him the biggest hug ever possible and you’re gonna be so jealous!” Sam smirked very softly at your reaction as he reached out giving you multiple alternating pokes on both your sides “no I’m gonna give ponky the biggest hug ever in the whole world and you’re gonna be jealous!” You squeaked softly at each poke and you heard ponk begin to speak giggling slightly

“Guys guys guys haha just come meet me at the same time okay? We can all have one big group hug! The biggest group hug ever possible!” Sam slowly stopped the pokes and you both looked at each other and nodded before both saying okay! And so you and the guys chatted for a little longer Sam every so often giving you little side pokes and Sam trying to ask the guys for more information on you but the guys refusing and saying he has to figure everything out for himself, before you guys ended call and went to go lounge around in the living room... Sam lays on the couch and opens his arms, you shyly smile lightly blushing a rose color as you lay besides him, his arms wrap slowly and loosely around you his head on top of yours as his hands rest on your stomach, you feel butterflies welling in your stomach just at the simple placement of his hands.... He sighs contently as do you, you let out a small squeak feeling his hands begin to gently rub your stomach “ee! Shaahmm...”

He smiles softly “Yes honey? Something the matter?” You grumble softly cursing him being so teasy already, he doesn’t hear or if he does just ignores it and continues on as you being to wiggle softly... he switches to gently scratching around your stomach in circles causing for you to break into light giggles “ssshahahmmmm” He giggles softly “yes honey what’s wrong why are you so giggly? Wait does this tickle? Awe are you ticklish honey bear? How adorable!” He speeds up slightly making your giggles raise and the teasing makes your blush brighter

“sshahahHAHAHAHhahhammmmm ddoohhoonnntttt sshhaHAHAHyyyy tttHAHAHhahahttt!” He pouts playfully “Don’t say what honey bear? Tickle? Ticklish? Awe do those words fluster you? Do they maybe make the tickles tickle even more?” “SAHHAHAHAMMM!” “I’ll take that as a yes!” He giggles softly as he begins squeezing your sides, making for you to jump and wiggle around your body attempting to instinctively dislodge his hands as your giggles raise becoming much louder “HAHAHAAHAHAHA SSSHAHAHAHMMM IHIHIHITTT TTTHIHIHAHAHAH!” “Awe can’t even say the word can you? That’s okay honey bear I can say it for you! Tickletickletickletickletickletickletickletickletickle!” Your hands fly up to your face to muffle your loud giggles and to cover your maddeningly red face “AAHH SSSHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAMMMMM!” He chuckled softly continuing the squeezes for a few more minutes for slowing down to give you a break “You okay sweetheart?” You nod your head softly giggling residually “ihihihimmm ggohhooodd”

he smiled softly as he gently pet your head “do you want more or have you had enough?” Your face flushes in embarrassment as you say “more please if you don’t mind...” he grins softly as he says “of course I don’t mind! How about I gooooo here!” He experimentally squeezes your hips and he jumps slightly as you scream and then giggle “AAAHH hahaha!” “Oh death spot sweetheart?” You nod shyly “Ihihi yew hahah” He smiles more as he says “can I?” You nod and so he begins squeezing away and you lose it screaming before falling into cackles which only seem to increase as he begins circling the divots of your hips with his thumbs “AAHAHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!” “Wow this must tickle like crazy for you to laugh like that sweetheart!” You nod wordlessly laughing hysterically before squealing as he switches to massaging, he continues wordlessly for a few moments before he slows down to simply tapping along your hips and sides leaving you to giggle residually as your squirm slightly from the tapping “hehehahhahahehahah wwwohohohohowww hhbehehahaha” “You gonna be okay sweetheart?”

You nod softly “yyeheheahhaha” He smiles lightly as he gently rubs your back “that’s good, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself because I’ll be honest sweetheart I enjoyed myself too” You looked up at him softly “Really?” He nodded “of course I wouldn’t just say that if I didn’t mean it!” You turn towards him and hug him tightly hiding your head in his chest, he hugs you back just as tightly... you raise your head “hey sammy?” He looks down at you “yea honey?” You smirk slightly “Are you.... ya know?” He blushes softly “I-uh I... no?” You snicker “hmm I’m not sure I believe you” you gently wiggle your fingers on his sides and he bursts into giggles

And so now it was Sam’s turn to be a cuddly tickly mess!

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

What type of kids do you think the ikevamp guys would be if they went to high school?

Oh boy HERE WE GO

(Under a cut bc this post is a Long Boi^TM)

Napoleon. Would prbly be that kid that’s like somehow bafflingly in the top ten of his class but nobody ever sees him??? Like he’s always late to school or napping in the quietest places on campus (they found him in a locker once and the school was laughing about it for WEEKS bc he insisted he was just chillin, and it wasn’t like a bullying incident he just wanted to sleep LMAO). Surprisingly amiable? A lot of people are afraid of him at first but he’s just so casual and direct, he gains quite a few friends (and a good number of girls have a crush on him--he always diverts the attention of skeevy guys). Good friends with Jeanne because they fence together a lot, and people are always baffled at how easily they chat

Mozart. Where do I begin. Number one in his class, perfectionist prick. That one kid that’s a known prodigy and that everyone hates for his impeccable grades and musical talent. Always gets the solos and conducting roles in the school performances. He knows how to play a crowd--will always be sweet and cherubic in front of teachers. But when it’s just the students? All gloves are off. Frigid and incendiary, will not take any shit and will tear you apart with words in milliseconds. Do not cross. He will end your entire life and self-esteem, it’s not worth it. Has a few friends, and they often experience the disdain of jealous students--but they’re all steadfast about defending him. And Mozart will not tolerate it if people are mistreating his friends, he’s an iron wall of defense; to be his friend means to always have someone looking out for you, make no mistake. He and Jeanne often grab food together after practice and ask about each others day, they hella close but never really show it while school’s on--their class schedules are worlds apart bc of their grades, and at lunch they’re usually practicing/doing hw. When they hug it out at graduation and pat each other on the back everyone nearly falls the fuck out of their chair LMFAO

Leonardo. That kid that 100% could probably be in the top fifty of his class but just can’t be bothered to give a damn. Always argues points with his teachers and plays devil’s advocate until they are inches from exploding at him. Always the one to mercifully make class feel shorter with his absolute distraction-heavy shitfuckery (and sometimes you really learn something because of his line of thinking). He's a dumbass but like harmless, essentially. Used to be the perfect student^TM and then decided the system was bullshit and he wanted no part of it, thinks public education can kiss his ass. Nobody knows it since he asks people not to talk about it, but he tutors kids after school for hours--has brought kids from Ds to Bs. He always dodges nosy people, never goes to parties, and finds ways to intervene around kids that are struggling with smth (with ninja stealth of course). Despite how easily he laughs and chats with just about anyone, he’s...actually surprisingly v much a lone wolf. Only ever consistently hangs out with the heartthrob rich kid, but nobody understands why???? And they’re always roasting each other wtf, are they even friends????

Comte. Pretty boy genius, always in the top five of his class though doesn’t seem too worried about it or obsessed with rank as students often are. It’s more that his parents have high expectations for his future as their heir, so he tends to fall in line with it. Born into money but somehow....not an asshole??? He doesn’t really like showing off, tries to be quiet about his accomplishments but his parents won’t really allow it--and he’s the star of the soccer team so it can be hard to hide. Most often the one at a party trying to help people sober up (always designated driver) or hearing his friends out when they have a problem. Has never publicly tried to bust heads, but some of the guys in the school insist he’s got a dark side--probably because he threatened them (passive aggressively) within an inch of their lives for being disgusting to girls. But nobody believes them bc...I mean look at him, does that look like a threat?? He just bought that kid’s lunch for christ’s sake. TONS of girls ask him out and confess their feelings, and he always lets them down as gently as he can--conceivably doesn’t like anyone himself, as far as the student body knows. Like Leonardo he’s v amiable, but also manages to reveal nothing personal while getting close. Leonardo’s the only one that’s managed to scratch the surface, and the kid won’t leave him alone for some godforsaken reason. And yet, he seems to enjoy their minutes of banter more than the hours of time spent with “friends”

Arthur. Oh boy. Good lord. Well. He used to be a sweetheart that would always seek out the mousier students and bring them into discussion/involve them on the playground. But alas, Teenage Jadedness^TM hit him like a train and now he’s an incorrigible flirt and believes no single person can be good deep down (somebody get this bitch some eyeliner). Believes the world will always be a cruel and unfeeling place where victims are never heard, so he just kind of goes full skeptical and bitter (think Sylvain for those of you that are FE fans). Has fun with every girl he sees (usually dating several girls at once) and doesn’t much care for his grades, but somehow has perfect scores in English?? He insists it’s because he needs to keep his seduction game on par with the voices of older legends before him, but some of the girls that see him in the library from time to time--v serious--are struck by how attractive he is in such deep focus, entirely uncharacteristic of his nosy and boisterous behavior in the halls (can often be seen whirling around Isaac like a bird of prey while our little baby robin Isaac stiffly tries to get away from him, and Dazai often joins to make things even more chaotic bc why not? In reality they just love this feisty kid that never gives up on what’s right, even though they’ve both given up trying themselves)

Dazai. He’s one of those kids that like does weed regularly but is also like...alarmingly insightful?? Like those kids I was always told to avoid, but now and again I would have conversations with out of necessity and was just...kinda shook. I mean granted he’s a little weird but he’s fairly harmless?? He’s like a class clown but on a massive scale--there’s nobody in the place that doesn’t know who he is, that haven’t heard tales of his exploits (he always comes in through the windows and gets detention for it a lot, and he even brought a chicken with him to school once????) nobody gets what he’s doing at any moment (don’t even know if he does really, chaotic mofo) and honestly nobody wants to know they just do the side eye meme when he appears or laughs. The teachers lament his untapped potential or just hate him for making their lives an even bigger headache than usual, and his grades are...yeah let’s not look at those. Organized the senior prank with absolute GLEE, and it was talked about for ages after he was gone--an inspiration chaotic bastards everywhere

Theodorus. (I hate.......that I pictured him in those like Vineyard Vine white boy clothes.......for the record its mostly bc his parents force him to wear them). All business. This kid doesn’t have time for your bullshit, will absolutely walk away if you’re boring him or seeking social clout. Popular because he’s hot and has a mean streak a mile wide, all the girls that didn’t like Mozart for being ethereal and effeminate boomeranged to find Theo ready to fulfill their hopes and dreams. They only grow more feral when rumors of him actually being fairly nice one on one--and telling creeps to fuck off of vulnerable girls at parties--start to circulate. (If he isn’t with Vincent, Arthur is probably near. Nobody understands how the two are brothers????) Van Gogh name apparently is just “I can be your angel or i can be your devil” and no one understands how... Grades are average and he’s plenty capable, most of his time is spent working after school because his parents refuse to provide Vincent with any artistic materials (canvas, paints, etc). They ask him to go to parties more, but he only goes to piss his parents off (he’s v lowkey punk and it’s understandably sexy of him). Will literally only listen to Vincent, and got in a looooot of trouble after getting into a fistfight with Shakespeare. Only stopped because his parents blamed Vincent for the incident, and Vincent apologized and went quiet for days ;-;

Vincent. Always been quiet and shy, but he doesn’t dislike ppl--he just has a hard time speaking up now and again. His parents always talk over him and tell him nothing he has to say has any real value, so he tends to struggle with a lot of self-doubt. Not isolated because he’s not likeable, it’s more because people tend to take advantage of his mild and earnest nature--until Theo runs them off. He’s on amiable terms with most people but has no real, true friends and it makes him feel lonely a lot. Mostly copes with the emotional turmoil by painting as much as he can. His grades are average, he does reliably well but can often be found daydreaming or distracted. Theo tends to escort him everywhere because of his propensity to attract danger (namely Shakespeare) or walk into things cuz he’s in his head a lot. A few of the artsier girls and the quiet academic girls have HUGE crushes on him (he’s softspoken, sweet, and calm; come on now), but he’s so distant--and honestly nice to everyone in equal measure--that they don’t have much hope of it coming to fruition. This kid deadass doesn’t think a single girl would ever like him that way so he’s just c:???????? when Theo talks about “those nosy harpies coming after my brother”

Jeanne. EDGY MCEDGE. Isn’t amazing in the academic department, but he’s a killer fencer--the rallying cry of the entire team. He became leader his sophomore year and he’s pretty much the only reason they keep destroying at tournaments throughout the year. Despite the pervasive interest in him he intimidates most people away with his swift intensity and ironclad stoicism. Silent as a grave and very still, people are convinced he’s the Grim Reaper reincarnated (listen he’s juST A DUTIFUL BABIE N O). If he isn’t fencing or practicing, Isaac often offers him help in the library after school hours in one of the study rooms (can’t be seen who’s inside from the outside). The two develop a kind of uncanny bond; they’re both so...bad at human-ing that they find a lot of comfort in the atmosphere they create. There’s none of the bullshit grandstanding or clout obsession, just them genuinely trying to help each other (yes Jeanne absolutely teaches Isaac self-defense moves in order to crush the kids that pick on him, and Jeanne often either glares or outright threatens those students when Isaac isn’t looking). Only ever smiles or feels understood when he’s hanging out with Mozart, so he cherishes the time Mozart offers him to hang (he knows the kid is busy up to his eyeballs and under a ton of pressure by comparison, his parents don’t care much as long as they can brag about his fencing records)

Isaac. Mega nerd that just...does not know how to interact. Only understands math and DESTROYS in competitive math club, but otherwise is always alone at lunch or just in the library. A little bean pole because he doesn’t look after himself very well (neglects to eat a lot) and can sometimes be found asleep on his books. If approached he will be very thorny, doesn’t have any friends to speak of and trusts everyone about as far as he can throw them. Yells at Arthur and Dazai a lot when they flock around him, and has gotten into his fair share of fights. Never starts fights, but will finish them. People are surprised he can hold his own, and he comes away with blood that ain’t his. There are a few girls that are curious about him, but its mostly the ones that have seen his awkward thoughtfulness in club--or the girls that are sick of the assholes and appreciate how stalwart he is. He really just wants to be left in peace (his parents never show up to his meets or when he wins academic awards, and the few teachers that notice are pretty concerned abt his reactivity and complete lack of social savvy...) Leonardo always helps him sneak in at night to look at the stars on the school roof

Shakespeare is p much the like “kid most anticipated to be in jail as soon as they’re out of high school” He just. Has that like...serial killer vibe??? Idk if I’m explaining this well but he was that guy that would always cling to genuinely compassionate girls just trying to be nice like a LEECH, and would never fucking shut up if he did or didn’t get attention. You just can't win with this kid. Probably wanted to kill the kids that made fun of him or at the very least wanted to lash out against the confident/popular/nice kids. Only liked you if he didn’t deem you a threat, or if you didn’t make him insecure, or if you tolerated him (aka Vincent. Vincent PLEASE stop trying to reach out to dangerous ppl....I love you too much to watch this shit...) He admitted as much to Theo and the kid went livid with rage and pummeled him into the ground, though most of the rest of the student body doesn’t know quite what happened. (Theo refuses to explain to anyone, and just walks away if asked). Shakespeare will just change the subject endlessly and make passive aggressive threats until the person leaves if they try to bring it up. The only time the entire class has EVER seen Leonardo mad is when Shakespeare kept tailing this girl that wanted no part of him

Sebastian. Nerdy like Isaac, but is more of the silent observer type. Like Theo, doesn't want any part of the bullshit but won't be as blunt or outspoken about it, he's only open about it if pressed or pissed off. Doesn't have much patience for the clique-driven nature of high school and tends to take an interest in the people who stand out beyond the mind-numbing drama. Also is in the top fifty but studies like a lunatic, and can often be seen asking Comte for tips now and again. Has tried talking to Mozart and admires his talents, but Mozart gives a cold shoulder that would put Antarctica to shame. (Leonardo tries to ninja him into taking breaks but never succeeds). Has a great deal of disdain for the troublemakers (Arthur and Dazai) but doesn't intervene, just watches shit go down and sighs. Probably the most normal(?) one of the bunch, just does his best and keeps his head down

[beanmaster-pika]

@xan-xus Lae I owe you my life ty for enabling me

OKAY SO Subject X doesn’t disappear, but Lea and Isa still go with the ‘become Apprentices’ plan bc they’re Dumb Teens. Fast forward and Xehanort has everyone in the lab (including the LITERAL BABY I’m so sorry they did that to you Ienzo) all “hm yeah we should totally experiment on our own hearts nothing could possibly go wrong!” and Lea and Isa are like “wh. what the fuck. are we in a cult is this what a cult looks like”

Spoiler: it is

Now, one scene I have envisioned very vividly is a change in Saix getting his scar. I’ve read posts that suggest he got it before he became a Nobody and that’s why it didn’t disappear like Axel’s tattoos did (OR MAYBE THOSE WERENT TATTOOS. MAYBE THEY WERE CLOWN MAKEUP), so I figure it happened right before he lost heart. Why? I dunno! Maybe Xehanort realized that he had a lot of darkness in his potential to get unhealthily jealous and went “hoo hee that’s prime real estate!” and decided to set the groundwork in advance! But because I am a sucker for characters bodily shielding their loved ones, X fuckin jumps in the way of the second slash so she and Saix end up having Inverted Matching Scars. I’m contemplating having it being over her eye and giving her an eyepatch and her being really salty about matching with Xigbar bc who’d want to.

Xehanort just rolls with it because if those three hold each other dear then that’s just more material to work with in the future, kinda like when one gathers a bunch of art supplies one has vague ideas for but never ends up using, so Nort Prep™️ doesn’t happen and he turns them all into Nobodies.

Also Lea’s unconscious for all of this because of my hc that the Radiant Garden squad’s numbers go in ascending order based on who got killed first. Ya boi’s just chillin in the back, his heart floating over his body.

Anyway they’re all Nobodies now, right? No feelings, nothing. They just want their hearts back so they can become Somebodies again. Since X is right there with them, they don’t need to worry about getting Saix up the ranks to find her. They just need to carry out their missions competently enough that they don’t get turned into Dusks. A lot changes when you take the search for X out of the equation—Saix loses his hungry ambition, Axel slows down. They don’t have to fight to get ahead; they just need to stay afloat. They lose that desperate edge that ultimately knifed them apart, and it’s only the scramble for kingdom hearts that drives them now. Much of the stress and pressure they dealt with in canon is gone. So what now?

It’s these two plus X. They don’t have emotions, but they do have their memories. X’s freedom was all they had hoped for, and ironically now that she’s got it none of them have the literal heart to be happy about it, and you can bet I’m lifting that line straight into my fic probably. They know that they were friends, though they can’t feel it now, and they know that they cared deeply for each other, so logically they stick together. They even have ice cream time on the clock tower.

Here’s the fun part: regrowing their hearts. With an actual circle of friends—though it’s small—their hearts actually start to regrow healthier, like how Axel’s did once he started hanging out with Roxas and Xion. Sure, Xemnas tries to interfere because “excuse me what are you nincompoops doing that’s my future vessel” but do you think they give a fuck?? No way!! I also buy into the “X=Skuld” theory, and one of her biggest personality traits is wanting to keep her friends together, and I don’t think amnesia’s gonna change that (at least I’m pretty sure she has amnesia. Ven, Marluxia, and Larxene sure do >:0). Xemnas wants to snatch away one of her friends for Evil Business?? Try it, bitch, she’ll cUT YOU. Xemnas has appearances to keep up so he doesn’t out and out start a fight with the Teenage Girl™️ but he’s lowkey pissed but whatever.

So with that fucked up end to their teenage years they grow into adulthood, not normal but far less shitty than what could have been. Saix still becomes Mission Man because he’s got to have some administrative skill if he got the job in canon, but despite how closely he has to work with Xemnas the Norting is unsuccessful—he’s got Axel and X stabilizing him. It’s a three-way positive feedback loop with people who don’t have anything else to do or worry about, and it keeps him safe and their new hearts keep slogging on with that regrowth, unacknowledged but doing their damn best.

Now let’s talk about Days. Saix still assigns Axel to train Roxas during his first week, and Roxas still has to train Xion for memory or Keyblade reasons I think?? But things go a little differently for them this time.

Axel doesn’t do assassination in this AU—no need for it—so it’s Xigbar sent off to Castle Oblivion instead to deal with the traitors. Saix doesn’t really care since he doesn’t have a personal stake in the situation. Axel never meets Sora, but he does hang out with Roxas more, so Roxas ends up growing to be a bit more of a little shit than he is in canon. The formative weeks are very important for a new Nobody with no memories, after all. Axel doesn’t have that desperation for a real friend that pushed him to befriend Roxas in canon, but he does have a more developed partial heart and it won’t allow him to just toss this poor kid to the wolves. He brings him up to the clock tower for ice cream time and Saix is like “why is he here this is our thing” and Axel has to go “be nice he was born yesterday” Roxas is just spacing out and figuring out how eating works. Axel adopts Roxas almost immediately, X does so in good faith, and Saix eventually comes around because the other two already did it. Then there’s the whole Xion situation, and all three of them are like Axel was in canon—a bit confused, but they got the spirit. Roxas likes her, so they do too.

OH YEAH ANOTHER IMPORTANT PLOT POINT IS THAT SAIX DOESNT REFER TO A CHILD AS “IT” :)

They don’t have to sneak around as much when Xion has Keyblade problems—the perks of having an actual friend in power—and from here all I really have planned is a whole lot of the radiant trio doing their best to look after these disaster children while stubbornly denying that they themselves have hearts and emotions pushing them to do so in the first place and it’s really wholesome and also maybe theres a pinch of Axel and Saix’s redeveloping hearts leading to redeveloping but unacknowledged feelings for each other and X and the kids try to wingman them (with a side of X being a little salty because the only woman her age in the organization is dead now and also was too mean to date in the first place) because I’m biased and still high on kh3 leaisa rights.

Eventually they decide “fuck it we may not have hearts but we’re doing fine, why don’t we just uhhhhhh fuck off to some far away world with the kids so they can have an actual childhood” but before they can everything goes to shit with the whole Sora situation and now he has THREE desperate Nobodies after him trying to get their son back, and they all disagree on which method will bring results and have a huge falling out and X has to watch helplessly as one of her best friends goes rogue and the other ends up being Norted and it’s painful. 🙃 But everything gets resolved a la KH3 and that’s the AU.

[mark-absolutelyfullycapable-lee]

A Little Jealousy [1] | Lee Taeyong

Summary: Taeyong gets a little too overprotective, and that can cause him to get in trouble—with you and the law.

Pairing: Taeyong x Reader

Genre: angst, sum fluff, slightly yandere!yong

Warnings: some swearing, fighting, jealousy, kinda yandere

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: LET ME START OFF BY SAYING BAD BOY IN LOVE - LEE DONGHYUCK IS COMING SOON!!!!! butttttt my manz Taeyong ;))) nsajbchjbwjbcd this is kinda angst. i’m sorry!!! but it’ll end all good. i was in a relationship for a while where my boyfriend was really jealous and didn’t like my guy friends and lemme tell you, it’s not fun or cool. as much as people write about how jealousy is “cute” it can be something that breaks relationships and friendships and it could even lead to abuse. yeah, everyone can get jealous but if it ever gets out of hand, tell someone. ahhhh sorry for all my speeches i always put but i care about you guys and i don’t ever want you to be sad :(( i love you guys and thanks for the support!

so let’s start with how you and Tae came to be

you met Taeyong at a concert two years ago

One of your friends bought you a ticket to a summer festival for your birthday

since you always spoke about how much you wanted to experience one

at first, you were worried about going to a crowded concert alone

because

let’s be honest

you were scared to go to the movies by yourself

how could you go to a whole day long festival alone?

but for some reason as soon as you got there

you felt comfortable

you stood in the crazy long line

and watched the people around you

laugh and talk with their friends

you kind of wished you had someone to talk to as well

well this is where ur boi Taeyong comes in

its like he read your mind

because as you stood there thinking about how lonely you must look,

he was wondering how he should approach you

he was in line directly behind you and tbh he thought you were pretty cute

but you were by yourself and for some reason that made him sad

but happy at the same time bc he was alone too

so after thinking about it for wayyyy too long

he just taps your shoulder on impulse

“hey i’m taeyong. are you here alone? i’m here alone too.”

and that’s where it started for you guys

you spent that whole day together and even ended up swapping phone numbers

you thought Taeyong was so sweet and nice

and he was

but from the beginning

he definitely had a softer side for you and you only

so you guys began hanging out when ever you both were free

and it got to the point where you guys would adjust your schedules just so you could find time to be together

and of course, you both started developing feelings for each other

Taeyong was the first to confess his feelings

it was kind of unexpected 

you guys had planned a day at the board walk

there were boats you could rent so you and Taeyong decided to try them out

so here you guys were

in the middle of this lake

just chillin in a boat

when out of nowhere, Taeyong just says it

“y/n, i like you.”

you were shocked, to say the least bc

you never thought someone like Taeyong would actually like you back

but after he further explained his feelings, you were beyond ecstatic

Taeyong asked you to be his 

and bam

you guys were together

throughout your relationship with Taeyong, you’ve noticed the little things that irritate him, make him smile, make him upset

all his little quirks 

and you have come to be quite good at reading his emotions

even when he looks like he’s happy, he could be angry

when he looks upset, he could actually be relieved of something

basically, you have just come to know him like the back of your hand

sooo now that we’ve explained all of that, let’s get to present time

you and Taeyong have been together for a little over a year now at this point

before you guys started even dating, he met your friends

so it was normal for both you and Taeyong to show up to your friend’s parties

you two are currently on your way to one of your best friends bday parties

your best friend Johnny literally rented out a whole ass bdubs just to throw his birthday party

this kid is extra

but you and Taeyong decide to walk from your place, since it’s not that far from the restaurant

it’s a little chilly outside, even with Taeyong’s coat around your shoulders

“are you still cold?” Taeyong asks you 

you nod

Taeyong puts his arm around you, trying to warm you up more

you’re pretty happy in your relationship right now

Taeyong is even more of a gentleman than before

he’s perfect in your eyes

and you’re perfect in his

all you’ve been is good to him 

and best believe that he shows you his appreciation

whenever Taeyong is going through a rough time, whether it’s with his family or he’s just having a bad day

you are always there for him

and he honestly feels like he is the luckiest man on the planet because he has you

Taeyong glances down at you as you guys reach the restaurant

he thinks you look great tonight

as he pulls open the door for you, he smiles to himself

he walks in behind you and brings you closer to him

“let’s go find Johnny.” you tell him as you grab his hand

Johnny’s party was packed 

it’s no surprise tho, because he’s a social butterfly who just love, love, loves meeting new peeps

you and Tae squeeze through people, trying to look for Johnny 

even though it’s making you lowkey claustrophobic you see so many friends you haven’t seen in a while 

so it’s nice

after some more maneuvering you guys spot Johnny 

but before you can get to him you and Taeyong hear your name 

”Y/N!” 

you turn to see the one and only Wong Yukhei

your first love 

”Yukhei!” you yell back as you spin to hug him 

Taeyong follows close behind you, eyeing Yukhei 

Tae knows exactly who Yukhei is 

before you and Tae began dating, he had seen the pictures of you two on your instagram

he didn’t like him for the simple fact that he once had you 

 “How are you? It’s been so long! You look amazing!” Yukhei compliments 

as you two chat, it feels as if Taeyong isn’t there

he watches you and Yukhei talk 

he can just feel the anger rise within him 

Taeyong pushes himself next to you, making his presence obvious to Yukhei (as if it wasn’t before but ok yongie)

”oh, Yukhei! this is Taeyong.” you introduce him 

”y/n’s boyfriend.” Taeyong adds, glaring at Yukhei 

”oh, hello. i’m Yukhei.” he says awkwardly 

Yukhei holds his hand out for Taeyong to shake

but what does Tae do? 

he stares at his hand, not even flinching 

you nudge him, beginning to feel embarrassed by his behavior 

Yukhei awkwardly retracts his hand 

“well, i guess i’ll see you around, y/n.”

you nod before waving bye to him 

as you watch Yukhei walk away, you feel Yong grab your arm 

you shake him off bc ur seriously annoyed and embarrassed that he acted like that to Yukhei, who has always been nothing but nice 

before you can walk away Taeyong grabs you again

“where are you going y/n?” Taeyong is hot on your heels as you continue trying to walk away from him towards Johnny

Johnny sees you two and smiles

but of course as soon as he sees the expression on your face, his smile fades

“what’s wrong guys?”

instead of you telling him the real reasons you look annoyed,

ur bf decides to tell him what he saw

“that Yukhei kid, her ex? yeah he was getting too close to her.”

yeah, he really said that

“are you serious?” you say to Taeyong

Taeyong doesn’t see why you’re so mad

but the fact that you’re angry is making him angry

he was only trying to protect your relationship

he just couldn’t lose you to someone else--especially your ex and first love

because you know what they say

you never really forget your first love

but Taeyong wants to make you forget him

he wishes you two could have met earlier so he could have been your first love

it’s not fair

but since he has you now, he’ll love you more and better than Yukhei ever could have

you roll your eyes and begin to move towards Johnny 

“he’s acting rude and jealous for no reason. we’ve almost been together for two years!” you spill to him

as you stand by your best friend, Taeyong honestly feels irritated bc

you should be thankful that he cares that much

right?

“we’ve been together for a while, but you were basically flirting with your ex!”

Taeyong yells, causing a bunch of people to look over

“i was not flirting! if you think asking how someone’s been is flirting, then you need some serious help.” you’re done with him

Taeyong has never acted like this for as long as you’ve known him

why is he starting to now?

out of everyone who heard your voices, Yukhei happened to be one

“is there a problem?” he asks, stepping in front of you and johnny

(Johnny is honestly shook)

Taeyong is #$***//FUMING\\***$#

“our conversations are none of your business” he steps towards Yukhei

“you’re shouting for everyone else to hear” Yukhei fires back

you squeeze between the two--who have not broken eye contact

“guys, stop” you say, glancing at the both of them 

“no, this guy is gonna get what’s coming to him” Taeyong tries stepping closer to Yukhei

“Tae! stop!” you yell as you try to push him away from Yukhei, who’s being held back by Johnny

“why are you defending him, y/n? i’m your boyfriend, not him!” 

by now, everyone has stopped what they were doing, and they’re paying attention to the current situation

Jaehyun has joined you in trying to keep Taeyong back

but of course you can’t really hold two grown men lmao back

Jaehyun cannot hold Taeyong back 

he’s moving forward

he is so ready to fight

and so is Yukhei

you try to get in the middle

but unfortunately

when some people get to their breaking points, they black out and don’t realize what they’re doing

Taeyong seems to be one of those people

without thinking, he pushes you away

but it wasn’t just a soft push

Taeyong seemed to use all his strength which resulted in you falling to the floor, quite hard

but as soon as he’s done it

everyone becomes quiet

he realizes his mistake almost immediately after

“y-y/n, i’m--i didn’t”

you’re shocked

never in a million years did you think Taeyong would do something of the sort

“dude i think you should leave” Johnny tells Taeyong as both him and Jaehyun help you up

“wait y/n--”

“Tae, leave.” Jaehyun demands as they take you away from the situation

you can feel the tears beginning to form in your eyes

“y/n, baby i’m--”

this time you stop yong

“we’re done” you say as you turn around to leave with Jaehyun

tears are streaming down your face and you’re embarrassed that any of that just happened

Jaehyun quickly gets you to his car while Johnny trails behind

you turn to Johnny as hug him like your life depended on it

“i’m so sorry for ruining your birthday” you sob

Johnny pats your back “you didn’t ruin my birthday. plus, you know i love when the three of us spend time together.” he tries making you feel better

but you feel absolutely horrible

Jaehyun speeds up the process of you getting into the car when you three see Taeyong come out of the venue

“i’ll take care of this. go on, i’ll be there soon.” Johnny closes your door before Jaehyun reverses the car

after what Taeyong did, you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to look at him the same again

[khiphop-discussions]

SMTM777 Ep.2 Commentary

EK is one of my favorites! It's good! Why is everybody in khh name dropping Yoo Jaesuk lately? Yaaaasss King No:el!!! So glad to see you. He wasnt at his full potential in this performance though. Too nervous. OLNL's voice? I've literally heard his rap before but never seen his face. I expected his voice to be more soft and high despite already knowing what he sounds like lol. Why did Milli look down like he had stuff written on his hand when introducing himself lol? Poor Milli. Feeling like Song Minho right now. I know there's the unwritten rule that Swings had to fail Milli straight out the gate but I'd have failed him for those sandals (put your damn feet away!!), saying he has 2 phones: one for business and one for dating/texting his gf, and for saying "everybody but you knows I did something new, like I did with your girlfriend last night" boy RELAX!! LOL Find some chill!! I didn't like his performance tbh but the aforementioned lyrics were cool. And yeah he's right, his rings probably cost more than any clothing I have while I'm out here trying to laugh at his sandals hahaha Awww Nafla felt bad. It's annoying that a bunch of old rappers participated? Who cares? If they good, they good. Worry about yourself. I do think it's a little much to come on more than 3 times but if it's dope I won't complain. If you whack and haven't improved? Now there's a problem. It's my DayDay!!! David Kim, I'll never get annoyed with him coming back on even though his skills are kinda cemented where they are considering his in his 30s now. It's all good. Black Nine should have chosen something different New Champ looked a damn fool. Suoer Bee is legit my favorite performance on the show between these 2 episodes. I'm SERIOUSLY becoming a believer that he might win this. Super Bee's #GROWTH as a rapper and person since SMTM4. Granted, he WAS 21 back then now 24 so of course he did. Wow, so super bee STILL might not even be at his full potentual and THAT is fucking WILD!! I HATE when the producers get all dramatic like THEY aren't the ones who eliminated whoever got eliminated like ?????? You eliminated them? That was terrible. Why is everyone surprised he got eliminated? They only care because it's (allegedly) Mad Clown  If they thought it was a random there wouldn't be all this whining. They'd recognize how trash that performance was and not just cause he couldn't hear the beat. Yeah, y'all BETTER be shook by Chillin Homie! Also, why is New Champ's annoying on like 3 Million? He was chill on SMTM4. Lol he still cool, someone has to bring the personality. Even if it's annoying ti ciewers, contestants, and staff lol MC trying to instigate lol Damn, we got New Champ and Chillin Homie calling out fades? This is the reality I wanted hahaha Owen REALLY thought he had a fucking chance against D.Ark? Like, i know he's fucking stupid but damn. They are better than 95% of the others. And PH-1 too like??? Are y'all stupid? Nobody wanted them BARS with Nafla lil They said....Owen....aims for conscious rap..... He's not even conscious of how stupid he is. The fact he chose to go against these two kids is proof. Lol at "motherfucker" being uncensored Even they know Owen....let me stop. I don't wanna be negative here lol Well, at least he's smart enough to know that they are better than everyone else and that *jessi voice* it's a competition *normal voice*. But he wanted to go home early so bad. Guess he's going home from the whole competition early lol Osshun *sighs* lol Awww New Champ's feelings are hurt you can tell. I gotta be honest. I LOVE when someone picks someone to be a dick and then they lose. I like Chillin Homie though Be nice during battles like this because you get EMBARRASSED when you're rude but you lose. Kim Hyo Eun's braids are better than Reddy's and the other one. I honestly don't know who I'd pick between Reddy and Hyoeun tbh. But i guess Hyo Eun's braids ARE better so maybe it comes down to that lol Third guy was Pento btw Yeah, it came down to the braids lol Well did you vote for Reddy who made the whole stage then Quiett? Or did you vote for your "half a win" employee? Hmmmm I know that 2 out of 3 of them don't make that type of music. So....yeah. that's why it's whack. Luda won. Lol @ Quiett yawning in the middle of a performance hahaha Changstarr what a fucking geek. You could have just said "Oh what a talented DJ and beautiful as well!" Geek.

That kid really just said movie directors the whole verse. Lok It's always the boys with the moles that are cute. Junoflo, now Coogie. Tw: for sickness, symptoms, bodily functions, etc. Coogie was too busy having diarrhea, nausea/vomiting, loss of appetite, abdominal cramps/pain, pain, bleeding, or mucus-like discharge from the rectum, and/or fever this episode (yes those are the symptoms of enteritis. The condition Coogie said he woke up with) Quiett saying "I can't believe I'm holding Coogie's hand" for the first time I'm jealous of Coogie for something other than his money lol Dbo was alright. I thought it'd be worse lol Giriboy....sit your ass down somewhere and stop hyping Dbo. Ok y'all tripping. Y'all really just need to send home Dbo and move on with out lives. That shit was trash. Stop giving Dbo partkcipation awards just because y'all know him outside the show. It's like the MommySon shit all over again. So this is what Yun B does with his Philosoohy degree from one of the too rated university programs? Milli always talking about Al Capone, Cozy Boys, and Nondisclothes. Also, about traveling to Japan lol Damn, Bully has balls. I respect it. Same with EK. At least they aren't being punk ass about it. Kinda wish Super Bee would have went out since it's gonna come sown to those two eventually. Even if it's not the final round.

[dadhakyeon-blog]

Hey could you please do jhope getting kind of jealous because his bf got a text from his ex? Happy ending please thank you!

sure thing my love also sorry for the lateness :( 

-so you and hoseok have been dating for a while and he’s never really worried about your ex because you don’t really talk to him 

-but he does know that your last ex kinda broke your heart a little bit and you had a loooot of trouble getting over him before you met hoseok

-so when your ex hits you with that “hey we haven’t talked in a minute” text

-you aren’t really sure what you want to do 

-because when he left you he said he still wanted to be friends but isn’t that just what everyone says? 

-so you like are starting these tentative conversations with him and it’s not really going anywhere 

-(it’s a little obvious he’s trying to get back with you but you aren’t even humoring him like that’s not gonna happen) 

-so you’re j chillin at home with hoseok one day when a text comes through to your phone and you don’t even want to get up and hoseok is already in the kitchen where it’s plugged in

-so you just have him read it

-but he’s like.... fuck 

-his voice get’s all weird and he starts reading 

-’’hey listen i was wrong and i want to try again i know you’ve moved on but’- babe who the hell is this’ 

-and you’re just like Fuck because you never intended it to go that way and now hoseok looks so hurt how can you make it clear that you never meant to even respond 

-and at first he’s just a confused and sad but when you sit him down and tell him that your ex has been texting you and trying to be friends he starts to get upset 

-especially when you tell him that it’s the ex that had you so fucked up a while ago 

-so he kinda just like... shuts down a little 

-like he can’t really handle it so he just picks up his jacket and goes for a breather 

-and you know you have to give him a little space because he just has to think things through and it’s so hard for him to stay positive sometimes and he just needs breaks 

-so you just wait for him to come back you know he will eventually 

-meanwhile you start to just rot in guilt because you really have no excuse to let talking to your ex go far enough to reach this point 

-so you send a quick fuck off text to that guy too lmao

-but it starts to get late so you know you have to go find hoseok because he’s probably too lost in thought to tell the time 

-and of course you find him at the dance studio going through and blasting some music after everyone’s left 

-you end up just watching him for a little bit and he’s just dancing a little differently. everything is more jerky and you know he’s preoccupied 

-so you quietly let yourself in and when the song ends you go up behind him and hug him and bring him a water bottle 

-and when he sits down in the center of the dance floor with you he just looks sad. like he needs an explanation 

-so you tell him that yes your ex broke your heart and it took you forever to get over him and you were just a little bit excited to maybe get to be friends with him again 

-but you had no clue he was going to try and get back together and that text was nowhere near representative of what you two had been talking about 

-and it weighs on your conscience a little bit that you never told hoseok when it happened at first because you two usually tell each other everything 

-and hoseok just listens to all of this and leans into your shoulder kinda sighing 

-but in the end he just nods and says he’s got one condition to forgive you (other than not texting the ex again) 

-you gotta dance with him 

-so of course you have to agree because dancing with hoseok is so fun and sweet 

-and he twirls you around and bumps shoulders and you two just goof around and don’t really dance too well  

-eventually the janitor comes by and tells you two to leave so you just go out to get some nuggets and everything is forgiven

[thebrowngirlstakeontheworld]

Nobody’s Mama

Quick Author’s Note: The purpose of this post is not to stomp on anyone’s baby dreams. Have babies. Have lots of babies. Matter of fact, MAJOR shoutout to all of my friends who are already parents! You are all so amazing, and I love watching your little ones turn into little versions of you. Keep doing your best and being your best. I see you. I also know there are women who really desire to be moms, and I think that’s amazing. The purpose of this post is to show that there is another group of us. People ask me all of the time why I don’t want kids, and it’s such a complicated answer. But know that I’ve thought about it, long and hard. Motherhood is a special calling and not everyone has it. Read on only if you’re interested in knowing a little bit of my journey. 

Now. It’s my turn to briefly answer the most frequently asked question brought to me weekly: “Do you want marriage and/or kids?”

STORY TIME:

eX: Can I talk to you about something?

Me: Sure

eX: Let’s have a baby together. You’d be an amazing mother. I’d be a great dad. We can have a child together and coparent like all the trendy people.

Me: Absolutely not.

THE END

I don’t have it all figured out. Yes, I’m 30, and I’m just chillin. Vibin. Coastin. And that’s ok with me (after having several panic attacks and temper tantrums the past couple of years). By nature, I’m a planner. However, God doesn’t let me plan my life which is soooo unfair. I have absolutely no control. I mean... if you do have control over your life, more power to you.

Like every “grown” daughter who hates when her Dad meddles in her life, I, too, hate when God changes the plan… but I secretly like it because it’s always better than my plan. It’s like a little game we play, me and God. I tell Him everything I have planned, and He counters it. Today’s area of discussion: Marriage and kids. I used to be annoyed by the fact that I couldn’t just marry Idris Elba or be an assistant to Oprah or be a mom by 25. But there is a rhyme and reason for everything I suppose. 

Today, I’m grateful for all of the things I didn’t receive as a part of my plan. All of the things God has protected me from. At 30, I’m nobody’s wife or mother which is such a blessing. I used to long for motherhood, but then I became a teacher. And I realized raising children is hard and being in partnership with another adult (their parents) is even harder. So many ideas and opinions on how to raise children. Oh and these personalities. Some kids have these wild personalities that they can’t even control. I would get kicked, bit, punched, and more by CHILDREN and I used to always think… “What if this were my child?” And people who aren’t in classrooms love to comment that it wouldn’t be my child, but they can’t guarantee that. Every year that I taught, I saw an increasing number of violent children who exhibited behaviors that they couldn’t control. With each case, my baby factory closed it’s doors a little. 

Through it all, teaching taught me so much about who I am and what kind of parent and wife I’d be. I’d be one of those parents who pours out her entire life into her child and husband. I’d be attentive, supportive, chef, maid and all of that good stuff. And not out of obligation, but because I’d want to. It’s in my nature. Nobody told me to skip lunches as a teacher or get to school 30 minutes early or leave school an hour after it was over or call parents with updates on their kiddos or teach while allergy season almost took me out, but I did it because I understood what was at stake. Their futures were in my hands. I’d give anything to make sure my kids were successful because that’s how I was with my students. If you remember, I was unhealthy as a teacher. I’d gain weight off and on due to all of my emotional eating and looked visibly tired all the time. I lived and breathed my students and their families. Nobody was pouring into me or breathing life into me besides me. So then I realized THIS is why I’m not a mom yet because God’s like...  you’d be miserable and would run yourself into the ground. Parenting is freaking hard. People always say it’s better when it’s your own kid, but I just don’t believe it. Imma still be pouring my soul into it and not do anything for myself.  

People often try to “get” me to change my mind because of how “motherly” I am. I get it. I am nurturing, caring and kind, but aren’t we all? So just let me walk in my current truth, I do NOT desire a child and/or childbirth at this time and that’s ok. Yes, part of that is fear. But a major part of that is when I see my future, I don’t see any little people. It’s not like I have this giant empire that I need to pass down or anything. I have just enough for my little life to be as wonderful as I want it to be. And I just can’t afford kids. I don’t know where y’all be finding this money from, but I ain’t got it. Plus, my mom still asks me to text her when I get home safely after a night out with friends. Ain’t nobody got time to be that worried about an adult!

So the children conversation has been officially shelved until God shows me otherwise. I think I’ve done my part as it pertains to the whole child-rearing thing. I got the chance to impart wisdom and “mother” over 100 children. I’m an auntie to my godbrother’s son, and I’m a spiritual godmother to my friend’s sweet baby girl. So I may not have gotten to be a physical mother, but I’m ok with being a teacher-auntie-godmom figure because I get to work through the ratio in which I was pouring out. Instead of pouring out 100%, I pour out about 28% which... I know... would probably classify me as selfish. Not the negative kind. But the kind of selfish that makes each day worth living. I wake up praying and reading. Because I have time. I get to cook 2 meals for myself almost daily. Because I have time. I work out. Because I have time. I get to work around my own schedule and follow my dreams. I get to be unapologetically me because I have time. Reclaiming my time has been my mantra in my late 20s and early 30s, and I’m doing just that.

There’s also the giant elephant in the room of my own childhood that I would have to unpack before even having children. My family life was amazing growing up. BUT my social/school life was THE worst. I was chubby, a loner, and a loser for most of elementary school and middle school. I left high school with three friends. Alienation and bullying is something I dealt with and is still happening in schools. I wouldn’t even know how to address it with my own kids. My sister has always been my best friend. She didn’t have a choice. I had no one else. She used to tell me that it was surprising to her that I didn’t have low self-esteem. And the reality is that I really went through those school years thinking I was great and that everyone else was just confused and missing out. Many of my classmates were rude and cruel. My mom used to tell me they were jealous of me which is why they were so mean. As much as I’d love to believe that raising my kids to be vegetarians and pumping them with organic food, would make them less chunky and more cool, I know that there’s a solid chance that they could still be mistreated. I don’t desire for my children to live on an island of one in school, where they love themselves but nobody else likes them. I don’t want them to be social outcasts. And if they end up with my dashing good looks (in which society doesn’t deem as beautiful… darker skin, natural hair), that’s a whole other battle. Will my daughter have to deal with people not thinking she was good enough? Will she be single for most of her life because of beauty standards? I literally have zero positive date stories to tell her from my time here on planet earth. ZERO. Well actually, maybe one from the Cayman Islands, but that’s it. Having a daughter would horrify me because I know all the effort my family had to put in to prove to me just how wrong culture is. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

On the partnership thing, I’d like to get married one day, but I’m not rushing it. I like my schedule and routine, so I don’t mind holding on to it for as long as possible. It would be nice though if I could have a late 2020 wedding. I never thought at 30 I’d be this single… like… not even in a serious relationship, single. But honestly, I haven’t met anyone worth interrupting my life for. So until God Himself sends a man in my direction, I’m gonna keep double dipping my spoon in the peanut butter jar because I can. 

I didn’t come to the marriage and kids conclusion by osmosis because like I said...I’m a planner and both were in my plan. But since my perfectly imperfect man wasn’t gonna just appear, I had to think about what I could control…which was my attitude towards not being married. There are many many MANY pros to my current lifestyle (which I tell y’all about often), so I had to rejoice in that! When life gives you lemons, you mix it with tequila and add some sugar on the rim and have a party! Because lemons aren’t even a bad fruit. I love lemons! 

I had to stop thinking about all of the things that didn’t come to pass and change my posture to gratitude. I started thinking about all of the things that have happened without me really working hard. The things that were just in the plan. I thought about all of the amazing opportunities that happened because my young, wild, and free lifestyle was open enough for them to happen. So instead of dwelling on what could’ve been, I get to wait patiently on what will be! I get to be spontaneous and live life with my amazing life planner, GOD. 

I shall talk more about career and general adulthood realizations later. This was already way longer than I wanted. The moral of the story is... life plans change. And I may end up married with 5 kids. Which I’d be open to. It just wouldn’t be my first choice or fifth choice. And I’m having an actual anxiety attack thinking about it. But who knows. So just leave me alone and watch what happens. *cues up God’s Plan by Drake

Love you for reading! 

Let your light shine today.

Shanda B.

[rookiewithachance]

tag gameeee

i was tagged by the ever so lovely @theyugiohtrashcan <3 A- age: 19! B- birthplace: fukin Florida C- current time: 11:55 D- drink you had last: water bb! I had to take my meds this morning lol E- easiest person to talk to: back atcha @theyugiohtrashcan​ F- favorite song: kdsjsalkdsga fuckin idk man. I love music. Probably something from Be More Chill or Hamilton right now. I’ll put it as a tie between Michael in the Bathroom, Two Player Game, One Last Time, and Wait For It bc i cant decide  G- grossest memory: yikes uh...... idk I tend to block out most of the gross things but I remember all too vividly when I got my wisdom teeth removed they gave me a pain medication that had sulfur in it, which I was allergic to but didn’t know?? So Kat was over keeping me company while I whined about my mouth hurting when I got really sick. Like, throwing up then sitting on the bathroom floor with a cool washcloth on your forehead waiting for the next wave to hit you level of sick. She was htg a real trooper and a sweet heart, and stayed with me until the worst of it passed, and I couldn’t sleep, eat, or take any pain medication for the next... idk like twelve hours or so??? while we waited for the stuff to get out of my system H- horror yes or horror no: No but lowkey a little yes. I’ve been watching less of it recently which helps my mental health but I still get that little thrill from horror even though it gives me nightmares and only feeds into my anxiety????? its a mess lol J- jealous of people: Ya dude. I’ve had a jealousy problem for years, that I think stems from my anxiety K- killed someone: it was the summer of 1963........................... L- love at first sight or should i walk by again?: Kat seems to have stolen my views on this: No, but I can be drawn to someone at first sight, usually because of what they’re doing or what they’re saying that I happen to overhear but I’m not really attracted to... looks?? If that makes sense?? I mean I have a “type” bc literally every girl i’ve dated has been kinda similar (primarily short and chubby.............. ehehe), but I won’t date someone or be attracted to them just because of that?? If that makes sense?? M- middle name: Ann. boring i know N- number of siblings: none bb oNLY CHILD SWAG O- one wish: uh?? i guess to not have to worry about money. while it would be nice to magically become neurotypical, i don’t feel like??? I would be the same person??? not that my mental illnesses are part of my personality, but they’ve taught me a lot and those lessons are a huge part of who i am today so.... yeah, probably the money thing. either always having enough money for what i need or just. living in a post-currency society. either is good P- person you called last: the last person who called me was my mother, but the last person I myself called.....? I think it was my manager Q- question you’re always asked: does Kelli is gay? or just stuff about my sexuality in general, especially being a gray ace lesbian. that confuses a lot of people in the south.......... part of the reason i’m going to college somewhere a little less southern tbh R- reason to smile: FUCKIN LIFE DUDE. LISTEN OK IM A PHILOSOPHY MAJOR AND I GET H*CKED UP ABOUT HTIS. LIFE IS A GODDAMN ANOMALY AND THERES NO REASON THAT ANY OF US SHOULD BE OR ARE HERE AND YET W E F U C K I N A R E. THATS SHITTIN AWESOME DUDE. IM HERE HAVIN A GOOD TIME WITH A GOOD FRIEND CHILLIN OUT AND WERE BOTH HERE AND ALIVE AND WE EXIST EXACTLY THE WAY WE ARE THAT HTATS HELLA GUYS S- song you sang last: ksjafldkjalksgje it was probably something Hamilton, Kat’s right. was it Take a Break??? probablu T- top 3 fictional characters: i cant choose........................ uhhh i guess Michael Mell from Be More Chill (Jeremy and Christine are close seconds, but i need my Nerdy Depressed Anxious Chubby Son) probably tops the charts right now, Humbee from MINIBOSS (an excellent comic on dA, i suggest it to everyone), aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Nightcrawler/Kurt Wagner from X-Men! U- underwear color: //has to check// ok yeah i was right, they’re blue with bright yellow lacey trim V- vacation: uh..........................??? im not sure what this question means, but Kat answered it like her ideal vacation so... idk probably going to a big city like NYC or Seattle (which is on my bucket list to visit) with money to throw around and just. go see shows and explore. W- when’s your birthday: June 15! It just happened lol X- x-rays: uhhhhhhhhhhh. the last one I had was earlier this year when I was really really sick and I had to get checked for pneumonia??? i didnt have pneumonia but i had strep that i didn’t take care of properly which could have turned into pneumonia but turned into bronchitis instead Y- your favorite food: fuckin. idk man. i like food. Z- zodiac sign: im a mf gemini

and can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i’ll tag @ifyoujustbelieveinme, @sorry--imfangirling, @sonofdysonsphere, @kaiju-genital-thunderstorm, @fangirltothefullest, @fanofallthingsadorkable, and @consistant-screaming-to-the-void! Plus anyone else who wants to do this, if you’re looking for a reason to do one of these, this is it!! IM TAGGING YOU BITCH, just put me as the person who tagged you bc i wanna see it :3