#evil robot bill and ted

[ria-coolgirl]

Awesome art 🤩

Blehhh

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

my fav pic from the cards what are they doing. r they making them kiss. is that whats happening.

[casuallyobssessed]

Vicious Pastimes - Evil Robot Ted x Virgin!Fem!Reader ❥ 2.6k Words

A/N: Completely self indulgent fic. I spent a lot of time mulling over this. Sorry if it's a little weird. Let me know if you see any mistakes!

Warnings: Dead Dove content, dub/non-con, P in V Sex, minor character death, virgin!reader, graphic depictions of blood/blood play, mentions of violence, no use of y/n, no beta

Archive of Our Own Link

Blood is everywhere. Your hands are barely visible through the blinding red as you press your shirt down against the hole in Ted's chest. With your heart racing and hands trembling, you knew there was no way he could survive something like this, yet you hold pressure anyway. Sobs rip from your throat as you apologize to your boyfriend who lay motionless beneath you. None of this is fair. 

Laughter rang out from behind you, cutting your mumbling apology short. You sniffle and lean back, smearing blood across your face as you wipe your tears away. 

“Crying won't bring him back, y'know,” Evil Ted snickers.

You can't dignify him with a reply. Instead, you lean down and brush the stray hairs out of Ted's face. As much as the look suited him, you hated the fact that his unruly hair made it impossible for him to see clearly half the time. You try your best to ignore the now glassy look in his eyes. The quiet stillness, the unusually pale skin… none of it is him. Your Ted is gone. All that's left is the evil robot version of him that ripped his heart out, and will now, presumably, take your life, too.

“Dude, c'mon. This pussweed isn't worth the tears, you've got the better version right here.”

Evil Ted crouches down beside you, brows furrowed in confusion, like grief is a foreign concept to him. That's probably because it is, you realize. 

“Will you just kill me already?” You ask him, stone faced.

“Kill you? No way. Why would I do that?”

“Why wouldn't you?” It was your turn to be confused.

“Wasting a babe like you before getting to try out the goods would be most heinous. I can see why Ted was so into you,” Evil Ted grins and gestures to your breasts, covered only by your lace bra. As all the adrenaline has worn off, you suddenly feel incredibly exposed as you're looking down at your crumpled, bloodied shirt resting on Ted's chest.

This isn't how tonight was supposed to go. You and Ted were supposed to have a date night; order pizza, watch a movie at his place, and you were going to ask him if he wanted to finally go all the way with you. As cliche as it was, you wore your best bra and panties to show off for him, not some evil robot version of him.

You fold your arms across your chest to hide yourself from his prying eyes as much as you can. Evil Ted's grin turns into something more sinister and you can almost see the gears turning in his head. 

“Don’t tell me you're getting shy now,” He sneers. 

By the time you can process what's happening, you're already being shoved backwards, not-so gently smacking your head against the kitchen floor. Evil Ted leans over you, arms caging you in on both sides. He stares at you, smiling in a way that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. 

“Get off of me!” You pound your fists against his chest, but he doesn't budge.

“What did you see in him besides the huge dick? Did he at least make you cum?” He asks, ignoring you. 

“Huh?” His question stuns you enough that you just look at him, dumbfounded. What kind of questions are 

these?

“I bet he hasn't, dude probably didn't even know where the clit is.”

“Ted and I haven't had sex. We talked about it, but I wasn't ready.” 

“Shit, does that mean you're a virgin?”

You nod, feeling the heat of embarrassment creep into your cheeks.

“Dude, no way!” Evil Ted's eyes light up at your confession, adding to your discomfort, “That's gonna make this so much more fun.”

“What?” 

Evil Ted laughs at your confusion before sitting down on your stomach, effectively straddling your torso and keeping you in place. Something grabs his attention by Ted's body and he looks away from you for a moment, reminding you of your proximity to your dead boyfriend and just how alone you are now. 

You're pulled from your spiraling thoughts when he reaches down and presses his hand into the stagnant puddle of Ted's blood that has pooled beside his body. His gaze bounces between you and the blood dripping from his fingers before he gives you another wicked grin. You can't imagine what he's thinking, but it can't be good. 

You thrash against Evil Ted, but his strong, robot thighs hold you down while his thumb presses against your lower lip, pushing insistently until your mouth opens wide. 

“Stop! Stop, stop, stop!” You cry out, but it falls on deaf ears. 

“I love it when you fight back, babe. Gets me real hot,” He smirks and slips his fingers in your mouth. You gag at the intrusion as the metallic tasting liquid coats your tongue. Frustrated and enraged, you let out a groan as angry tears spilled from your eyes. 

“You're pretty when you cry,” Evil Ted murmurs, “What does he taste like?” 

There is an inquisitive glint in his eye as he pushes his fingers further into your mouth. Biting down on his hand proves useless. He is mostly metal, after all. 

Your chest heaves as you sob. The last thing you intended to do was give Evil Ted exactly what he wanted, but you couldn't help crying. You've never felt so defeated in your life. 

You were powerless to save Ted, too weak to save yourself, and losing hope by the minute. The entire situation makes you feel sick. From the salty-sweet iron swirling through your senses to the weight crushing your middle, your stomach is tied in knots. It doesn't help when Evil Ted bends down and removes his fingers, only to replace them with his tongue licking curiously into your mouth. You wonder what the combination of spit, blood, and hatred tastes like to him. 

Evil Ted's hand starts to roam your chest, lingering on the lace fabric covering your breast. His fingers run along your bra until they find the center clasp between the cups and unhook it with ease. You're only a little impressed by how easy he makes it seem with one hand. 

Trying to think about anything other than Evil Ted's tongue halfway down your throat, you focus on the way his hand grasps your breast. A thumb brushes over one of your already hard nipples, inciting a low hum from you and sending a warmth straight to your core. 

Playing along with his weird advances hadn't been part of the game plan, but if it gets you out of here alive, it might be worth a shot. 

“Fuck. Look at you,” Evil Ted growls appreciatively as he pulls away from your face, licking the remaining blood from his lips. 

The last thing you wanted to think about was how disheveled you probably looked. Blood coating various parts of your body, puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, all topped off with your tits hanging out. By the hungry look on his face, he clearly liked what he saw. 

He confirms your suspicions when he takes one of your nipples into his mouth. His tongue circles over the sensitive bud sending goosebumps spreading across your skin. You close your eyes, searching for your happy place. This way, it almost feels normal. 

At least it does until Evil Ted takes it upon himself to bite your nipple. Your whole body jumps from the sudden, harsh sensation and your eyes fly open. He looks pretty pleased with himself by the expression on his face. 

“Seriously? Do you have to be such an asshole?” You huff at him. 

“It's in my programming, babe. Now do me a favor and get on your knees.”

Evil Ted pats your thigh while standing up, allowing you room to move. You hesitantly follow directions, shrugging out of your bra while repositioning. The moment you get settled on your knees, he's pushing your upper half towards the floor, giving you only a moment to catch yourself before hitting the ground. Something akin to ‘fuck you’ finds its way out of your mouth before you remember the situation you're in. 

There's a brief second where you try to lift yourself back up, but he's got a steady hand between your shoulder blades. Cheek pressed to the grimy tile, you come to terms with the fact that you're not going anywhere. 

“Stay down.”

You nod. It's a simple command, but his tone is nothing like you've ever heard come from your Ted's mouth. 

“Good girl.”

Those words spark an unfamiliar fire somewhere deep in your gut and a new, bright pink flush across your cheeks. Behind you, Evil Ted is making quick work of pulling down your pants for you, revealing your matching lace panties. His warm hands caress your ass, giving you an appreciative smack as he lets out a low whistle. 

“The view from back here makes me glad I killed that loser. Dude had no business dating a babe like you if he wasn't gonna take advantage of the full package.”

You roll your eyes and wonder if it's too late to try to crawl away from him. Would you have any real shot trying to run away from an evil robot? Chances are you could make it a couple feet at least before he tackles you. 

After a little bit of musing in your head, you decide it's not worth the off chance that he decides to just kill you out of frustration. Your main goal is still survival, and you try your best to remember that as he unceremoniously yanks your panties down your thighs. 

His fingers find your surprisingly dripping wet center and his touch makes you gasp. You're ashamed at how your body has been reacting to him. You weren’t expecting to be turned on at all, much less to this degree. 

Slowly, he dips one finger inside of you, and it's the most gentle he's been with you throughout this entire situation. He's met with little resistance on your part. One of his fingers already feels like too much and you're whimpering embarrassingly beneath him. 

“How the hell am I supposed to fit my dick in here if you can't even handle two fingers?” He snaps, sounding mildly annoyed. 

It's not your fault that you’re not used to this. You haven't done anything like this before. How can he expect you to be comfortable moving this fast?  

After adding another finger and pumping them in and out of you briefly, you hear Evil Ted undo his jeans behind you. You turn and watch him as he shoves his underwear and pants down, far enough for his cock to spring free. You let out an unfeigned gasp at how thick it is. 

He was right about one thing. Fitting him all inside you was going to be a challenge. You're hit with a fresh pang of guilt when Evil Ted lines himself up with your entrance. He eases the tip in, graciously giving you more than a couple seconds to adjust to the stinging stretch that brings tears to your eyes. It wasn't long before he decided he didn't want to wait anymore and shove himself all the way in. 

“You are so,” Evil Ted growls as he bottoms out inside of you, “fucking tight.” 

He wastes no time in pulling all the way out and 

thrusting back in again, hard. Your body rocks forward from the force causing your arms to collapse beneath you, landing you nearly face first on the tile, again. You let out an involuntary, high pitched whine as he slams into you. 

“You liked that, huh?” Evil Ted goads, gripping your hips tighter and thrusting in harder this time. 

Your heart knows this isn't your Ted, but your body clearly isn't convinced. Clenching your walls around his dick and moaning his name was not sending the message that you wanted him to stop. You are taken pleasantly by surprise when he reaches around your hip and begins toying with your clit. Maybe he isn't completely evil. 

“Beg me for it,” Evil Ted’s breath ghosts across your back, sending chills down your spine. 

Okay, maybe he was still fully evil. You do not want to beg him for this. Saying it out loud makes it real, and you're not sure if you're ready to face that, yet. 

With your lack of an answer, his touch on your clit slows down to a halt. The painful aching in your core is growing and you’re starting to think you really do need that release from him. 

“Please?” You sound unsure of what you're asking for.

“Please what?”

If you could look him in the face, you'd be glaring daggers at him right now. 

“Fuck. Please let me cum,” It comes out more like a whine than you intended. 

It's enough for Evil Ted to take mercy on you. Teetering on the edge of bliss, it doesn't take much for him to shove you right over with a few more firm circles of your clit. You could swear you're seeing stars. 

This isn't how you imagined your first time would be, yet here you are, letting yourself get wrecked by Ted's evil robot clone. Being disgusted with yourself isn't enough to stop you from completely losing yourself in the intoxicating euphoria of cumming on his cock.

While you're shaking, being fucked through your orgasm, Evil Ted seems to be following close behind you. His thrusts are getting sloppier, his breathing quickens, and the grip he has on your hips is sure to leave behind fingerprint shaped bruises. 

With a guttural moan, he finishes deep inside of you. The good news is that it didn't take very long for him to finish, but now there's an uncomfortable fullness in your cunt as you feel his cum begin to drip down your thigh. 

How does that even work for a robot? In all honesty, you don't really care. You're just glad it's over. The breath of relief you exhale is cut short as Evil Ted grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls you back towards him. The sudden pain makes you squeak and jerk against him, but his grasp is firm. 

“That was most excellent,” His sarcastic tone was not lost on you, “Next time, I'll totally go down on you. Promise.” 

“We are not doing this again,” You scoff, knowing there's no way in hell you'd willingly do anything with this asshole ever again.

His grip tightens, yanking your hair again and hissing in your ear, “I could keep you here, y'know. Use you whenever I feel like it. That'd be a pretty sick trade-off for getting to live, huh?” 

Not sure how to reply to that, you just growl at him. This asshole has a way of leaving you speechless in all the wrong ways. 

“That doesn't sound like a no to me, babe.”

He lets go of your hair, letting you drop down to the floor again. There's comfort in the cool tile this time. At this point, you don't actually care what he does with you. After what you've allowed this robot to do to you right next to your boyfriend's corpse, you're sure that wherever Ted ended up, he's not too thrilled with you. You hope there's no way for him to know in the afterlife, but you've got a feeling he does. 

[bueller-alf]

bill and evil robot bill

[ria-coolgirl]

Awesome art 🤩 @cart-a-hearts

they really commited double homicide in this movie, love them

[jvlthecookiesblog]

⚡️🎸Old Evil Dudes!🎸⚡️

E.B and E.T, whole and old!

[stargiirl27]

evil bill and ted would love cocaine I think

[your-compadre-infinity]

I WANT EVIL BILL AND EVIL TED CONTENT PLS…

[ria-coolgirl]

Awesome art 🤩 @littledozerdraws

duder doodles 🤘🎸💥

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

hes so fun to draw. coughs up blood

[gobbluthera]

bill and ted after doing air guitar with the evil robot bill and ted

[your-compadre-infinity]

On Gaia I’ve got to evict some of the creatures living rent free in my head rn

Y’all vote who gets the boot

[ria-coolgirl]

Awesome art 🤩 @tacogrande

hapy halloween tumblr dudes!!   🎃🎃 🎃🎃 🎃🎃

i hope u guys are safe and stay INDOOOOOOORORRS

[generalkenobee]

hello! do you have anymore ted logan headcanons you'd be up for sharing? or possibly evil robot ted? im currently experiencing ted logan brainrot because I recently watched the first 2 films for the first time and I have the PHATTEST crush on ted lol it's embarrassing

AHHHH YESYESYES I DO THANK YOU YESYESYESYES I LITERALLY HAVE SOOOO MANY TED LOGAN IDEAS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

Warnings: contains both SFW and NSFW

🎸cutie patootie! Ted

- oh my gosh he loves you

- he'll do anything you ask.. anything!

- once in history looked at Bill and said "dude I'm totally a president!" After learning about teddy Roosevelt

-smells you...like a lot

-gives the best hugs ever like actually

-youre the first to get your license in the relationship so you drive him to school every morning while he plays music

-lets you paint his nails and put makeup on him

-always holding hands

-definition of a gentle giant

-his hands are about twice the size of yours

-likes to be the little spoon

-Ted Theodore Logan can not cook.

-please play with his hair

-the first time you complained about your period his dead ass response was "what's that?" 💀

-his dad doesn't really like you but he doesn't really like anyone so it's ok

-him sneaking in your room in the middle of the night while everyone is asleep>>>

NSFW

-sub/ gentle dom

-you'll never forget the noise he said when he first slid in it was like "wait wait wait oh my- I augh.. please no.. it's too much please i-" and it was only half his length-

-sososososoo pussy whipped

-lazy sex

-gently jerky him while he sits on his bed and tells you about his day

-PERV!

-literally taking peaks down your blouse all the time

-lovesss to suck on your boobs while you run your fingers through his hair, holding him close to you

-wont tell anyone what you do together because it's such an intimate moment

-other than Bill...

-bursts into the room while holding your hand pulling you along " BILL BILL BILL GUESS WHAT WE JUST DID!!"

-doesn't realize how horny you get when you see him play

-hes also clueless so..this is how that plays out

"Ted you're so good at guitar.." you said biting your lip looking him up and down "your fingers just move so fast baby" your sweet boyfriend looked up at you from his instrument smiling "thanks babe!" After he said that he quickly looked back down working on his music. You say there looking him in the eye rubbing your thighs together while literally telling him how much you loved his fingers and he just looked away

-hes a massive pervert but he's clueless at the same time yk?

-does not know how to please you the first time so just be patient and tell him what you like

-first time he ate you out was like a dog trying to get peanut butter out of one of those toys..

-I feel like he would excel at fingering you..I mean have you seen the guys hands? And he plays guitar?

-sneaking in just to finger you>>

-lord please moan his name while he's rutting up into you..

IF YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT MORE OF EVIL! TED LET ME KNOW I KINDA JUST DID CUTIE! TED FOR THISSS🩷

[noneedtofearorhope]

so it turns out you gotta sign up to make a movie list quiz on that site everyones using? sure would have been nice to know before i spent like, 3 hours racking my brain trying to think of every movie ive seen. so i just copied the list i made there and will paste it under the cut below

1 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 2 A Clockwork Orange (1971) 3 Soylent Green (1973) 4 Logan's Run (1976) 5 Star Wars (1977) 6 Alien (1979) 7 Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) 8 The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 9 Escape From New York (1981) 10 Heavy Metal (1981) 11 Mobile Suit Gundam I (1981) 12 Mobile Suit Gundam II: Soldiers of Sorrow (1981) 13 Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) 14 Blade Runner (1982) 15 Mobile Suit Gundam III: Encounters in Space (1982) 16 Return of the Jedi (1983) 17 Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) 18 2010 (1984) 19 Dune (1984) 20 Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984) 21 The Terminator (1984) 22 Back to the Future (1985) 23 The Quiet Earth (1985) 24 Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) 25 Predator (1987) 26 Akira (1988) 27 They Live (1988) 28 Back to the Future Part II (1989) 29 Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) 30 Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) 31 Back to the Future Part III (1990) 32 Edward Scissorhands (1990) 33 Slacker (1991) 34 Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991) 35 Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) 36 Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 37 Braindead (1992) 38 Star Trek: Generations (1994) 39 Stargate (1994) 40 Goldeneye (1995) 41 Ghost in the Shell (1995) 42 Mars Attacks! (1996) 43 Star Trek: First Contact (1996) 44 Independence Day (1996) 45 Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) 46 The Fifth Element (1997) 47 The End of Evangelion (1997) 48 Contact (1997) 49 Men in Black (1997) 50 Dark City (1998) 51 The Truman Show (1998) 52 Godzilla (1998) 53 The Faculty (1998) 54 Spriggan (1998) 55 Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) 56 The World Is Not Enough (1999) 57 The Matrix (1999) 58 The Iron Giant (1999) 59 Bicentennial Man (1999) 60 Titan A.E. (2000) 61 Battlefield Earth (2000) 62 X-Men (2000) 63 Waking Life (2001) 64 Evolution (2001) 65 Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001) 66 Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2001) 67 Donnie Darko (2001) 68 28 Days Later (2002) 69 Reign of Fire (2002) 70 Men in Black II (2002) 71 Spider-Man (2002) 72 Signs (2002) 73 Resident Evil (2002) 74 Die Another Day (2002) 75 Lilo & Stitch (2002) 76 Star Trek: Nemesis (2002) 77 Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) 78 The Matrix Reloaded (2003) 79 The Matrix Revolutions (2003) 80 Freddy vs. Jason (2003) 81 The Animatrix (2003) 82 School of Rock (2003) 83 X2 (2003) 84 Hulk (2003) 85 The Day After Tomorrow (2004) 86 The Butterfly Effect (2004) 87 I, Robot (2004) 88 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) 89 Spider-Man 2 (2004) 90 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) 91 War of the Worlds (2005) 92 Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (2005) 93 Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) 94 Click (2006) 95 A Scanner Darkly (2006) 96 V for Vendetta (2005) 97 I Am Legend (2007) 98 28 Weeks Later (2007) 99 Spider-Man 3 (2007) 100 Quarantine (2008) 101 District 9 (2009) 102 Watchmen (2009) 103 9 (2009) 104 Star Trek (2009) 105 Inception (2010) 106 Attack the Block (2011) 107 Prometheus (2012) 108 Her (2013) 109 Snowpiercer (2013) 110 Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) 111 Pacific Rim (2013) 112 Ender's Game (2013) 113 Interstellar (2014) 114 The Giver (2014) 115 Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) 116 Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) 117 Ex Machina (2015) 118 Arrival (2016) 119 Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) 120 Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) 121 Blade Runner 2049 (2017) 122 Level 16 123 Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) 124 Dune (2021) 125 The Matrix Resurrections (2021) 126 Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) 127 Godzilla Minus One (2023)

[coolguy-art]

Bill and Ted evil robots !!!