#evilengineering

[evilengineering]

Remember, always make sure your evil robots have a self destruct button.

[evilengineering]

We have three power generation systems that are not boiling water:

1- Water go down big hill (Hydro-electric power)

2- Sun make special rocks go vvvbrrr (aka Solar power generation)

3- Special rock hit with hammer or compressed go tick, and more importantly, special rock with eletric current go tick *very precisely* (Piezoelectric)

EDIT BECAUSE WE FORGOT ONE!!!

4) Windy wind make fan go fwoosh! [Wind power: (AKA Solar power with extra steps)]

nuclear power is impressive until you get up to why. "we use the most precisely engineered machinery ever created to split atoms to release energy" oh yeah how come? "boil water to turn a fan" get the fuck out

[guardrailsucks]

Upcoming chances to see us play songs and shit: 2/25 Cairo w/ @fuckoffanddies 2/26 Beauty Bar @emovspoppunk (DJ set by Kevin) 3/15 Township w/ @mishandledil & @insideoutil 📷: @isamgarcia #guardrailsucks #chicago #poppunk #punkrock #punk #supportlocalmusic #thefuckoffanddies #evilengine #prisoncitybrigade #cairo #cairoalehouse #beautybar #emo #emovspoppunkchicago #dj #township #mishandled #insideout #oldstate #beer #pizza #supportlocalmusic #supportlowcaloriemusic #paratbest #fucktrump

[metal-bs]

My friend @kryssiecrisisofficial and the rest of the guys in @evilengineofficial put on a badass show last night for #punkrocknightindianapolis. It was awesome to see you after so many years! #kryssieridolfi #evilengine #punkrock (at Melody Inn)

[evilengineering]

Would it be practical to build any giant robot rather than a specific tool that can accomplish what you are attempting to do?

No.

But we fully support the creation of giant impractical robots for the sole purpose of 'Being Cool'.

To that end, we can give botha personal and engineering review concurring that radiators would in fact, make it cooler

Mech should have radiators not because it makes engineering sense but because a mech fuming smoking hot coolant from its vents and its white-hot radiator struggling to keep the internal temperature down after firing off high intensity beam weapon or activating highly advanced systems is fucking hot.

[stephaniebattistacreative]

If you didn't come to @cairoalehouse last night I'm sorry for you because you missed seeing @evilengineofficial and they were fucking PHENOMENAL. #band #livemusic #EvilEngine #Talent #punk #music #Chicago (at Cairo Ale House - West Chicago)

[evilengineering]

Hey, did you know most traffic lights are via IR sensing cameras? Which means we can do this:

OR

[evilengineering]

Smart locks, are dumb.

Many homes are being converted to so called 'smart homes'. This often includes a 'smart lock' For those who are unaware this is a lock where rather than the traditional tumbler with a lock and key (the mechanical device not the website) a set of electronic motors and a pin pad or key code to unlock a lock. Most of these locks also have a remote unlock feature, and an override code that is set during installation of the electronic lock. Often (if operating perfectly legally) the landlord will set this code so that they can access your apartment once they give you notice without any inconvenience (in a traditional lock system this is often done with a master key). However, conviently, this override code is typically distributed to the guards so that they can unlock doors as required. Especially if tenants are having trouble gaining access. Further, if the power goes out and the lock's battery dies, most designs require it to be unlocked with a physical key that is a secondary system. If you happen to be say, I don't know, an evil engineer, this is the perfect set of circumstances. This is easier done when the gaurd uses a standard cell phone for the input, which they typically do, as if they were to punch in the key code by hand, someone might record that number and committ it to memory. You could, for example, get a skimmer or other RFID cloner, and have a gaurd unlock something for you with said master code or you could for example, ask to tour the apartment and then use say, a FlipperZero to record the inputted code. Not only that, but *many* insurance policies actually have exemptions which would invalidate a claim if a person happened to have thier home burgled and they had an electronic smart lock, and you would have to actually sue the property manager of an apartment complex if that's what happened to be there. Oh even better as a bonus, the lock for when the power is out or the battery dies? Typically has a master lock that can be purchased. In short, it's a terrible idea for *you* to have a smart lock on your home, but its very convenient when other people have them and *you* want to get into *their* homes. Really is one of those technologies that makes everything worse & less secure but gets sold as making it more secure.

[evilengineering]

How big would a bomb have to be to annihilate the planet?

This is actually a fairly simple question to answer.

There is something referred to as gravitational binding energy which is the minimum energy which must be added to remove it from the gravitationally bound state.

We can assume that Earth for this purpose is uniform density (obviously it is not, but we're just going for a ballpark number here).

Unfortunately even if you were to simultaneously detonate every single piece of ordinance every made on planet Earth (estimated to be 545 megatons of TNT) you would still come up only be several magnitudes of order off the necessary energy requirements to perform the task.

Option 1- A big ol' rock!

It is theoretically possible that a large enough celestial body traveling at sufficient speed would have enough kinetic energy in order to shatter the earth on impact. These asteroids are extremely rare, and for the most part are very unlikely to hit the Earth, but in order to achieve this amount of energy required we can do another ballpark estimate using the formula for kinetic energy.

Option 2: Point a LASER at it!

A more viable method would actually be to harness the energy from the sun into a deadly laser! Not that the sun isn't already a deadly laser mind you. Now unlike the image above it would not be possible to annihilate the earth in a single shot, but in this methodology you could turn your laser into effectively laser ablation, and it would be enough to destroy the Earth! Even vaporize it in its entirety!

 (Interestingly enough this method would actually also have the Earth expelling enough material through vaporization that it would start accelerating away from the laser turning it into more of a rocket than was probably intended, but hey, if you want to not annihilate the earth but just knock it out of orbit you've got options now!

Option 3: The biggest boom theoretically possible from Earth.

 If we've learned anything from this thought experiment, it's that the old adage: Any sufficiently powerful enough device to be used as a drive, is sufficiently powerful enough to be a deadly weapon remains true, and it would appear that any sufficiently powerful enough weapon designed to destroy the Earth.

[evilengineering]

An investigation into the use of souls for a "a phylactery, but like a real one"

Let us assume that souls, that is to say some unique piece of individuality tied to a human being that persists after the conventional idea of death, exists. What are the logical consequences of that? And if it exists, could it be harnessed to power some device, or transfer the life essence of one individual into another.

Let's go through it-

Axiom 1 (the assumed assertion): Souls exist.

Axiom 2: The physical laws of the universe i.e. thermodynamics, general relativity, inertia, etc. are accurate to humanities current understanding of them.

Axiom 3: Things that exist are governed and described by the physical laws of the universe. Physical laws of the universe do not themselves exist.

Statement 0: [statement 0 ∈ Axiom 2] mass and Energy cannot be created or destroyed, only altered. Things that exist are made of mass and/or energy.

Statement 1: [statement 1∈Axiom 2] Mass-energy equivalence is described by the following equation: E^2=(MC^2)^2+(PC)^2 where E is Energy, M is Mass, P is Momentum, and C is the speed of light in a vacuunlm. The Mass-Energy Equivalence Equation describes the energy of things that exist.

Conclusion 1: souls are governed by the physical laws of the universe. (Axiom 1 ∈ Axiom 2∈ Axiom 3) -Souls are an element of Axiom 3. Souls exist (assumed assertion Axiom 1). Souls are not physical laws of the universe themselves. Ergo Souls are an element of Axiom 3. Ergo Souls must be governed by the physical laws of the universe.

In human speak: If we assume that souls are real, as in they exist in our universe, then they must obey the physics of our universe since all thing that exist in the universe are governed by those physics.

Conclusion 2: souls must have either mass, energy, or a combination of both. If Γ(Conclusion 1 ^statement 0 ^ statement 1)^Γ(Axiom 1 ∈ Axiom 2∈ Axiom 3) ⊨ φ[Conclusion 1]. Then Γ[conclusion 1]^Γ[statement 0]⊨φ[conclusion 2]

In human speak- If souls exist and as a logical consequence of Axiom 1 being an element of Axiom 2 which is an element of Axiom 3, those souls are governed by the physical laws of the universe, and statement 1 is a physical law of the universe then as as a logical consequence of souls being governed by the physical law of the Mass-Energy equivalence. The statement of Mass-energy equivalence expresses that things that exist contain Mass and/or energy. Ergo Souls must contain Mass and/or energy.

Conclusion 3: Souls are subject to gravitational forces vis-a-vis the curvature of spacetime.

If (Axiom 1 ∈ Axiom 2∈ Axiom 3) ⊨ φ[Conclusion 1]. Then Γ[conclusion 2]^Γ[statement 1]⊨φconclusion 3.

In human speak- If souls exist, and they obey the laws of physics as we understand them today then they must have energy or mass to exist, if they have energy or mass, then they must also be affected by and affecting space time curvature (gravity).

Aside: given that per axiom 2 physics is correct to our current understanding of it, souls would have to have, at a bare minimum, a relativistic mass. Which is what was derived in conclusion 2. Light, composed of photons is an example of a particle that has no rest mass, but does have relativistic mass via the mass energy equivalence formula. Souls in this derivation could be presented to have a rest mass (mass for all observers from all reference frames; what most people think of as mass, e.g. the amount of kg a thing is [also referred to as inertial mass]) or it could by this derivation be purely relativistic mass akin to light. To be a purely relativistic mass, souls would have to be moving at the speed of light.

Conclusion 4: Souls can affect momentum of other things that exist. If Γ[conclusion 1]^Γ[statement 0]⊨φ[conclusion 2]. Then Γ[Axiom 2]^Γ[conclusion 2]^Γ[Axiom 1]⊨φconclusion 4.

In human speak- if souls have mass and/or energy as a logical consequence of existing and as a logical consequence of souls being governed by physical laws of the universe, then souls affecting momentum of other things that exist is a logical consequence  of  physics being accurate to current human understanding and of souls having mass and/or energy.

Conjecture 1- If souls exist and have an inertial mass:

Assume that souls exist and have an inertial mass of M. By Axiom 2 the acceleration of the soul would correspond to Newtons law F=MA where M is the inertial mass of a body, A is acceleration of the body, and F is the force applied to the body. Similarly by Axiom 2 any item that exists must take up some volume, V. Therefore a soul would have a density (D) where D=M/V.

If souls have a density and are affected by gravity per conclusion 3 and have some inertial mass they should be able to be separated from a body via centrifugal force.

Research into this phenomenon is still ongoing… while no souls were measured, we now have a variety of participants who believe they are ready to become astronauts.

Alright, now that I got through the initial premise/bit of this report that The Think Tank made me fill out I'm going to drop the semi-formal (it's not actually formal at all) notation.

Let us assume then, that rather than souls are small enough that they cannot be measured by conventional means, or that they have no rest mass.

If this is the case, then by definition, from what is understood of relativity, your soul could not inhabit your body, as it would have to be moving at the speed of light, while you yourself, is not. Which would imply at the very least that your soul and your mind are separate entities.

So with all the above being said, and with no measurable results, the Think Tank has determined that the proposal for: "A phylactery but like a real one" is a non-viable method of energy production.

[guardrailsucks]

It's a day of show announcements! Stoked to be on this killer show on 2/25 with @fuckoffanddies and more at Cairo in West Chicago, let's fucking party #guardrailsucks #fuckoffanddies #foad #evilengine #prisoncitybrigade #cairoalehouse #chicago #westchicago #revival #punk #punkrock #poppunk #drink #drank #drunk #beers #letsfuckingparty #dearliver