#excited for plotbuilding

[notiddygothgf]

i.

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝Baby, you're a star. Fuck me all night. Show me who you are, Pornstar.❞

★ c.w.: me rushing through plotbuilding to get to the good stuff, aki being an asshole, tension.

★ a/n: hiiiii! im so excited for this lil short story. its just something i was inspired to write while finishing up shameless. i thought... wow i love writing simp aki. now what if he was mean.... hrnngfhghj.... anyway so this is the fruit of that! i hope you enjoy, i should have the next chapter up soon if my studies permit!!!!! enjoy and leave lots of comments (ill update quicker if u do tee hee)

★ w.c: .5.2k

pornstar ; chapter index

AKI HAYAKAWA WAS infuriating. As a Captain, he was capable. As a man? He was, single-handedly, without a doubt, the most insufferable individual you had ever had the displeasure of working with. He had this "I'm-better-than-everyone" sort of approach to life, was impossible to conversate with, and had no regard for leniency or any other sort of thing that required him to have basic human decency. He was a machine – all he cared about was work, work, devils, Miss Makima's orders, and work. You knew that any human who had gone through what he had gone through would be a little rough around the edges, but "rough" was an understatement. He was an asshole.

Still, he was undeniably attractive. Considerably handsome. He had the most striking blue eyes – an almost elvish face partially hidden behind his midnight black hair. You had never seen it out of its signature ponytail, but his bangs were fluffy enough for you to know that it was soft. Rosy pink lips that seemed to permanently rest in a scowl and a jawline that could cut steel topped it all off.

Additionally, he was a horror to work with. 

Exhibit A:

One day, after a mission, you were trying (unceremoniously) to use your sword the way you had seen Captain Hayakawa do once before. It was something you hadn't seen before, a flick of the wrist, a movement of the arm, you weren't quite sure. Regardless, it had been smooth, and you needed to have something that looked cool in your itinerary.

So you spun the sword around the way he had. And, of course, the sword promptly flew out of your hand and landed on the floor five feet away with a resounding clatter – one that attracted the gazes of the rest of your team (including him).

"What the hell are you trying to do? Kill us?" He had asked.

Embarrassed, you tried to cover up for yourself, "I was trying to recreate this one move I saw you do earlier, but I think I need to work on my form."

He scowled then, perfect eyebrows drawn together, and grumbled, "You want my advice? Give up."

Exhibit B: 

Your team was investigating an abandoned building on the outskirts of Tokyo. Captain Hayakawa was, as per usual, leading the pack. Following close behind him (because, admittedly, you were a little scared of the dark and he was holding the flashlight), you were at eye-level with his back, and he had... quite an intimidating physique, but that was a story for another time. 

(Still, for the reference, the hard, muscled planes of his back practically obstructed your entire field of vision).

"We've been searching for hours now, Aki," Himeno sighed, crossing her arms after reaching into her pocket and fishing out a cigarette. Somewhere in the back of your head, you remembered your Public Safety trainer telling you that it was bad practice to introduce fire to uncertain situations. "Might be time to give it a break."

"Maybe we can split off into groups?" You suggested, "We might be able to cover more ground that way."

He paused, then, glancing over his shoulder – cobalt eyes partially hidden by the dim light, "Butt out."

Alright then.

Exhibit C:

Denji burst out laughing, nearly choking on his food. "Nah, nah—hold up, say that again! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." 

You smirked, swirling your drink. "I'm just saying, Denji. If you actually tried using your brain once in a while, it might not be so bad for you." 

Denji scoffed. "Like you're one to talk!" 

Aki exhaled sharply through his nose, setting his chopsticks down with a quiet clack. His patience, already thin, finally snapped. He glanced between the two of you, his expression flat, voice edged with irritation. 

"It's funny how you morons flock together, isn't it?" 

Denji's grin faltered. You shifted in your seat, the weight of Aki's words settling over the table like a heavy fog. 

No one said anything after that. The conversation was over.

So, yes, in short, he was impossible. His attitude and yours made for a deadly combo – namely, that the two of you were constantly butting heads. You weren't quite sure why everyone but you seemed to get along with him just fine – was he different towards you? Were you imagining it? Were you the problem?

Even Himeno was starstruck by the guy. Now, admittedly, he was handsome. Still, that wasn't an excuse to be an asshole.

Presently, you were on a mission, standing around in some damp, dimly lit alley with Himeno, Aki, Denji, and Power. The target—a devil you were supposed to be tracking—had yet to show itself, and the whole thing had devolved into a waiting game. A miserable, frustrating waiting game. 

At least Himeno was good company. You leaned against the wall beside her, arms crossed, your breath fogging slightly in the cold night air. 

"I swear, if we wait any longer, I'm gonna fuse with the concrete," you muttered. 

Himeno laughed, nudging your shoulder with hers. "That'd make things interesting. Maybe we'd finally get some action." 

Aki, stationed a few feet away, turned his head slightly at the sound of your conversation. "Shut up," he said, voice low and firm. "We're working." 

You sighed, long and theatrical. "Bruh. We've been here for three hours, waiting for something to happen. If it hasn't by now, it's not gonna." 

Denji, crouched a little ways off, perked up at that. "For real, man. I say we just bust in somewhere and start smashing shit until something shows up." 

Power grinned, baring her teeth. "Yes! At last, a plan worth considering! Denji, you are a true genius." 

Aki exhaled sharply, the kind of exhale that carried the weight of profound disappointment. "If the two of you move from that spot, I swear to god—" 

"Relax," you interrupted, smirking. "No one's actually gonna do anything. We're just talking." 

Aki's gaze snapped to you. "That's the problem. Talking gets in the way of listening." 

You raised an eyebrow. "Listening to what? The sound of absolutely nothing happening?" 

For a second, his jaw twitched—just a little, just enough for you to catch it—but he said nothing, just turned his attention back to the alley. 

Himeno shot you a knowing look, grinning. You had a feeling she found the whole thing amusing. Maybe because she knew Aki well enough to see what you couldn't. 

Denji stretched his arms above his head with a groan. "Man, I hope this devil shows up soon. I'm starving." 

"You're always starving," Power said. "'Tis because you are a weak and pathetic man." 

"At least I ain't lying about it," Denji shot back. 

Himeno shook her head, laughing under her breath. You smiled too, despite yourself. Because honestly? As much as you hated standing around doing nothing, there were worse people to be stuck with.

After the investigation scene was cleared – a gruesome hour later – you and Himeno sat on a rock outside the building. A cigarette burned between her fingertips. You didn't smoke, but the smell didn't bother you – not nearly as much as it used to. So, instead of complaining, the two of you sat in companionable silence. She smoked and you... well, you told yourself you were relaxing, but that was a lie.

No, deep down, you knew you were staring right at the illustrious lieutenant captain Hayakawa, watching him take his smoke break a pointed ten yards away from the two of you – smoke practically pouring out of your ears.

Way to make it clear that you're not interested in conversing, you thought.

God, he's such a stuck-up prick.

You had a mission report to give him, a summary of damages and whatnot, something stupid like that, but you were dreading giving it. If Himeno wasn't taking her much deserved smoke break, you would have asked her to do it. 

You supposed it was unavoidable.

"I gotta give the mission brief to stick-in-the-ass," You sighed, turning your head to the side to size her up.

She winced, then chuckled. "He's not so bad."

"Yeah, to you," You whined. "I swear, he has it out for me."

"I think you're right, actually," She hummed, tapping the end of her cigarette and spreading the ash on the ground. "I wonder what you did."

Exasperatedly, you threw your hands out, whisper-shouting, "Nothing!"

"Wanna ask him?" She teased, kicking you in the shin with her boot. 

"Not a chance," You answered. Still, standing up and dusting off your knees, you added, "I'm gonna get it over with."

Himeno waved you off with a lazy flick of her wrist, taking another slow drag from her cigarette. "Good luck," she said, exhaling smoke through her nose. "Try not to pick a fight."

You scoffed. "I don't pick fights."

Himeno gave you a pointed look.

"...Not on purpose."

She laughed as you turned away, rubbing at the spot where she'd kicked your shin. With each step toward Aki, your reluctance grew heavier, settling in your stomach like a stone. He hadn't looked at you once—not even when you'd gotten up, not when your boots scraped against the pavement, not when you stopped just a few feet away.

You cleared your throat. "Mission report."

That finally got his attention. He flicked ash from his cigarette, eyes shifting toward you, dark and unreadable in the dim alley light. "Go ahead."

Right. Because heaven forbid he make things easy.

You inhaled sharply through your nose, forcing yourself to keep your tone professional. "Minimal collateral damage. No casualties. Devil confirmed dead." You paused, watching for some kind of reaction. When none came, you added, "Oh, and Power punched a hole through the third-floor wall. Don't ask me why."

Aki's brow twitched—just a little, just enough for you to catch it. "I see."

Silence.

That was it? Not even a sigh, a comment, an ounce of acknowledgment? You gritted your teeth.

"That's it? You see?"

Aki took another slow drag, exhaling through his nose like he was already tired of this conversation. "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, maybe 'Thanks for telling me, oh esteemed and respected colleague,'" you deadpanned, shifting your weight onto one leg.

Aki exhaled sharply—right in your face. A deliberate stream of smoke curled into your eyes, stinging, making you cough.

You recoiled, waving a hand in front of your face. "Oh, screw you," you muttered, blinking against the burn.

Aki didn't react. Not a smirk, not a flicker of amusement—just that same blank stare as he took one last drag, then flicked the cigarette to the ground. The quiet scrape of his Converse sneaker grinding it into the pavement felt just as dismissive as the way he looked through you.

"Go get some rest," he said, tone clipped, final. Then he turned and walked off, leaving you standing there, fists clenched, scowling after him.

God, he was impossible.

You spun on your heel and stormed back toward Himeno, already composing the exact rant you were about to unload on her.

The aftermath of one particular mission had been messy. The kind of messy that left the street littered with rubble, the air thick with dust, and your muscles aching from overuse. The scent of blood and burning filled your lungs. Somewhere in the distance, a car alarm was blaring, and you could hear Power cackling about something—probably the chaos she had personally contributed to—but your attention was locked onto the man standing in front of you. 

Aki was rigid, shoulders squared, his coat hanging loose where the fabric had been torn. His hair was a little mussed—annoyingly attractive, even now—but it was his expression that held you in place. 

Cold. Impassive. But beneath that, a restrained, simmering anger, the kind that barely clung to the edges of control. 

And then, suddenly, he moved. 

The way he turned toward you wasn't abrupt—it was slow, deliberate, every step measured. His presence alone was enough to make you tense, though you refused to show it. When he spoke, his voice was low and steady, but every syllable was razor-sharp. 

"What the hell were you thinking?" 

The words struck harder than you expected, sinking under your skin before you could throw up any defenses. You were still catching your breath, sweat cooling against your skin, adrenaline still singing in your veins, but you forced yourself to straighten, shaking off the weight of his scrutiny. 

You lifted a hand, swiping away some of the blood smeared across your cheek— not yours, thankfully—and shrugged, keeping your voice as casual as possible. 

"I was thinking that I got the job done." 

Aki's expression didn't change, but something in his jaw ticked. He ran a hand through his midnight colored bangs, exhaling sharply through his nose. You could see the way his patience frayed, hanging by a thread, stretched taut and ready to snap. 

"The job," he echoed flatly, like the word itself irritated him. "Right. And what about the building you nearly leveled?" 

You scoffed, crossing your arms. "It wasn't that bad." 

Aki's eyes darkened, his expression shifting into something heavier. "Three floors caved in," he said, tone low and measured, but beneath the restraint, you could hear the crack of irritation bleeding through. 

He stepped closer, not enough to be aggressive, but enough that you felt it—the weight of his anger pressing into you, the sheer force of his presence making it harder to breathe. 

"Do you even understand how reckless that was?" 

Your fingers curled into fists. Of course, you understood. You understood that things had gotten messy, that your plan hadn't been the safest, but what pissed you off the most wasn't that he was right—it was that he always acted like he was the only one who was right. Like you were some reckless idiot who didn't think things through. 

Your jaw tightened. "It wasn't like I had a choice," you shot back. "I did what I had to do." 

It was different, this time. Aki took another step forward, and this time, you felt the air shift between you, thick with something you didn't want to name. His movements were precise, controlled, but his eyes—his eyes—were burning with something deeper. 

"You don't get to decide that," he said, voice quieter now, but no less cutting. "You follow orders. You don't play hero." 

You swallowed hard. 

The way he was looking at you made heat crawl up your spine, frustration twisting into something else—something that had nothing to do with anger and everything to do with how unfairly attractive he was when he was pissed off. 

Your fingers twitched at your sides. "If I hadn't done what I did, people could've died." 

Aki's jaw tightened. "If you keep pulling reckless shit like that, you're going to die." 

His words hit harder than they should have, but you refused to let them sink in. Instead, you glared, chin tilting up defiantly even as your breath hitched. 

"And I'm not cleaning up your mess when it happens," he muttered. 

There was something in his tone—something unreadable, something you almost wanted to reach for, like he was trying to cover up the fact that he might have cared about you a little bit—but before you could, before you could shove back with another retort or demand what the hell he actually meant by that, he turned. 

Without another word, he walked off, leaving you standing there, heart racing, thoughts in complete disarray. 

You exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down your face. 

God, you really needed therapy. 

Or maybe I just need to get laid? You thought. Perhaps it was the involuntary celibacy getting to you.

You decided that you needed both.

Mission get laid was a lot easier said than done. In your line of work, people often didn't last long enough to fuck around. If they did, they were assholes (not pointing fingers at anyone in particular). A few weeks later, and you were aching for some action. Everything seemed to piss you off a little more than usual. In fact, someone seemed to piss you off more than usual.

Hayakawa the cockblock.

You didn't know when you started thinking of him like that, but the title fit. It wasn't just that Aki was always there—it was that he seemed to have a personal vendetta against anyone who so much as looked at you the wrong way. If a guy even considered flirting with you, Aki had something to say about it. If a conversation lasted longer than a few words, Aki was there, lurking like a shadow, arms crossed, expression unreadable but just judgmental enough to kill the mood.

It was frustrating. More than frustrating. You were an adult. You could make your own decisions. You could handle yourself.

Which made this all the more annoying.

You had been talking to one of the newer guys, a hunter from another division, who, for once, wasn't a total weirdo or an asshole. He was tall, dark-haired, had one of those easy grins that made it clear he knew exactly how attractive he was—but not in an annoying way.

And he was into you. That much was obvious.

He had slid up beside you while you were taking a break, an easy smirk on his lips as he leaned against the railing beside you.

"You always look this intense?" he asked, tilting his head toward you.

You quirked a brow, unimpressed. "You always this nosy?"

He laughed, and okay—maybe it was kind of a nice laugh. He held his hands up in mock surrender. "Can't blame me for trying to get to know the prettiest hunter in the division."

You snorted, rolling your eyes, but the corner of your lips twitched upward. "Is that what you tell all the girls?"

"Only the ones who might actually kill me," he shot back, grinning.

Alright. Maybe this wasn't the worst conversation you'd had in weeks. He was easy to talk to, and more importantly, he wasn't running for the hills after five minutes of conversation.

"So, drinks after work?" he asked, cutting straight to the point. "I know a place."

And you were considering it. Actually considering it. What was the harm? A drink, some harmless flirting—

But before you could so much as open your mouth—

"Get back to work."

Your entire body tensed. That voice. Of course.

You turned your head just enough to see him. Aki stood a few feet away, arms crossed, expression blank but so obviously irritated that you had to bite back a groan.

The guy beside you straightened a little, caught off guard by the interruption. "I was just—"

"You were slacking off," Aki cut in, voice sharp, authoritative. "We're not done here."

You huffed, shoulders dropping. "Oh, come on," you said, turning to him fully now. "Are you serious?"

Aki didn't even look at you. His gaze stayed fixed on the other hunter, cool and dismissive. "You have a job to do," he said simply. "So do we."

The guy beside you hesitated, glancing between you and Aki, clearly weighing whether this was a fight worth picking. After a beat, he let out a breath and muttered a quick, "See you around," before walking off, scratching the back of his neck.

You watched him go, feeling the frustration coil tight in your stomach before you rounded on Aki.

"What the hell was that?"

"Flirting on the job is unprofessional," he said flatly.

You scowled. "I wasn't. He was asking me out for drinks."

Aki didn't react, just stared at you, unblinking, unimpressed. "Don't get drinks with him."

You narrowed your eyes. "Oh? Why's that?"

"He's not trustworthy."

"Oh, please." You scoffed. "You don't even know him."

Aki's jaw tightened. "Doesn't matter."

You crossed your arms, staring at him hard. "Why?"

He didn't answer right away. He just looked at you. That cold, assessing look, the kind that made your skin prickle, like he was peeling back your layers, picking apart your intentions before you even had the chance to understand them yourself.

And then, finally—

"Just don't."

Something inside you twisted, irritation spiking high, sharp. You tilted your head, expression turning coy, teasing, because if he was going to be insufferable, you might as well make him suffer for it.

"What, you worried about me?"

Aki's expression didn't change. But his eyes darkened, just a fraction, and for a split second, you thought—maybe—that you saw something else flicker behind them.

But whatever it was, it was gone before you could name it.

"Get your head out of your ass," he muttered, and before you could fire back, he turned and walked off, leaving you standing there, fists clenched, frustration bubbling over into something you weren't quite ready to deal with.

You let out a slow breath, forcing your shoulders to relax.

The silence felt heavier now. The absence of the guy who had been flirting with you only made it worse—like the moment had been stolen right out from under you. You turned your head slightly, watching Aki's retreating figure, and something about the way he walked—stiff, tense—made you wonder.

Was it really about professionalism? Or was it something else entirely?

You exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down your face.

Hayakawa the cockblock strikes again.

You swore to God—one of these days, you were going to figure him out.

And when you did?

You weren't sure who would come out of it in one piece.

Late one evening, heart racing in your chest, you raised a hand to knock at Captain Hayakawa's door. You hadn't been sure whether or not he would have even been in so late, but you saw the telltale light shining through from beneath his door, and you knew he was working later than usual. So, gathering your wits and your courage (and smoothing your hands over your clothes to correct your appearance), you finally knocked.

It was answered with a faint, "Come in." Something only he could make sound scary, truly.

Be brave. Be brave, you told yourself. You had spent the entire way over here deliberating what you would say to him once you had him face-to-face – a lie you had rehearsed to explain your absence from work in a few days, something about your grandmother being sick, typical par for the course. You couldn't back down. Not now. Instead of running away like you really wanted to (because you knew that once you were inside, it would be just you and him, and you weren't entirely sure you were ready for that), you entered.

You poked your head in first. Swallowing the thickness that had settled in the depths of your throat, you called out to him, "Sorry to bother you so late, Captain."

He was sitting all alone inside, hair neatly done back – and, for a moment, you couldn't help the fleeting thought that he might have straightened out his appearance in the few seconds it had took him to respond to your knock. Papers were sprawled out over the length of his desk in neat stacks. The room was dimly lit, save for a lamp at his desk. He had a pen pinched between his index finger and his thumb, tip tapping mindlessly against the wooden surface. 

Beneath the dim light, he looked a little older than you knew him to be. He was either 20 or 21, you couldn't quite remember. Either way, he was only a year or two older than yourself, but the experience gap was noticeable. You knew that could easily be attributed to the psychological horrors he had witnessed at a young and impressionable age, but that was a type of business you tried not to mind. The bags under his eyes were a little more pronounced than usual, blue eyes half-lidded and droopy, like he was trying not to pass out.

His eyes dropped to your shoes, then raked themselves up your tense form. You writhed beneath the heat of his gaze.

God, I can never tell what he's thinking.

"Is something the matter?" He asked, something so remarkably normal and not angry that you had to actually do a double-take. When you said nothing, he curled a brow at you, waiting for your response. 

Now that you were actually standing there in his office, you were getting cold feet. No longer were you confident in the lie you had carefully conceived on the ride over. Truthfully, you had a date, but you knew you couldn't tell him that.

Was it that you knew or that you were ashamed?

Frighteningly enough, you weren't entirely sure. Either way, it felt like you were walking up to your father, about to tell him you had been hiding a boyfriend from him for the past year. 

So, switching your weight from foot to foot, you answered shakily, "I have... uh..." You swallowed, "I wanted to tell you that I won't be coming into work on Thursday."

That got his attention. He set the pen down, leaning back in his work chair and giving you the kind of look that could wither a fucking plant. "It's your responsibility to tell me a week in advance. That's when I make the schedules."

You hesitated, the weight of his gaze almost suffocating. The silence in the room stretched longer than it should have, thick and heavy with the unspoken words hanging in the air. You had to say something—anything—to break it.

"I'm... I'm visiting my sick grandmother," you said, the words feeling foreign as they left your lips. It was a story you had fabricated on the way here, an easy excuse that anyone could buy. But even as you said it, you felt a pang of guilt, like you were betraying something, someone.

Aki's eyes flickered over you, narrowing slightly, as though evaluating the sincerity of your statement. You couldn't read him—he was too good at keeping his thoughts hidden. For a brief moment, you wondered if he knew you were lying. His expression didn't change, but the air in the room seemed to grow colder, more tense.

"Alright," he said with a sigh, the words laced with resignation, though you couldn't quite tell whether it was disappointment or just weariness. "I'll make an exception. But don't make a habit of this."

His voice was the same as always—calm, almost too calm—but the underlying exhaustion was palpable, like he was just tired of dealing with people's excuses. You couldn't blame him for that. You knew he had been through more than his fair share of hardships, and the last thing he probably wanted was to deal with your little white lie.

You stood there for a moment, not sure what to do next, before Aki leaned back in his chair, picking up his pen again, signaling the end of the conversation. His focus returned to the papers on his desk, his posture relaxed, but something about the way he avoided your gaze made your stomach twist.

Before you could make a quick exit, something unplanned slipped from your mouth, almost without your permission.

"Hey, um... Himeno and I are going out for drinks tomorrow with some of the others from different divisions. You should come with us," you blurted out, the words catching in your throat as you said them. "It'd be nice if you joined us. We could all hang out for once. You know... get out of the office for a bit."

The request came out of nowhere, and you couldn't quite understand why you had said it. You had never once thought to invite Aki to something like this before. It felt... strange. You knew he wasn't exactly the social type, and you weren't even sure why you wanted him there in the first place. Maybe it was the loneliness that crept up on you during the long, sleepless nights. Maybe it was the faint hope that his presence would fill the empty spaces that seemed to grow wider between you and the people you worked with.

His gaze shot up to meet yours, and for a moment, you almost regretted speaking. He looked at you like you had just said something completely absurd, like it didn't even make sense.

"You want me to come out with you?" Aki asked, his tone a mix of incredulity and something else—maybe amusement, maybe suspicion. It was hard to tell with him.

"And Himeno. Yeah," You answered back, rather stupidly.

Your heart raced, and you shifted awkwardly on your feet, the uncertainty gnawing at you. Why had you invited him? You didn't even know why you wanted him there, why you felt this strange, impulsive need to extend an invitation. The thought of spending time with him outside of work—outside of the walls where everything was so professional and detached—seemed impossible. But here you were, offering him an out-of-place invitation to something that was supposed to be casual, easy, and fun.

Everything he was not.

"I mean, it's not like a big deal or anything," you continued, your voice faltering slightly. "It's just drinks with everyone... Himeno and some of the other teams. You could join us. It'll be a good way to unwind. We don't do this often, but..." You trailed off, suddenly unsure of yourself. "I don't know. You don't have to if you don't want to."

What the hell am I doing?

For a moment, Aki didn't say anything. He just stared at you, his expression unreadable, as if he were processing your words in his mind. He was quiet for too long, and you felt yourself growing more self-conscious by the second, like you had made a huge mistake.

But then, just as you were about to apologize for being so forward, he let out a soft sigh, one that barely registered as a sound.

"Alright," he said, his voice as flat as ever. "I'll think about it."

And just like that, the tension in the room seemed to dissipate. The cold, businesslike atmosphere returned, and you realized he wasn't going to press you further on it. But you still didn't understand why you had invited him. Why him? Of all the people, why did you want Aki to be there?

"Alright, goodnight then," you said, your voice sounding louder in your own ears than you intended. You started to turn toward the door, almost relieved that the conversation was over.

"Goodnight," he replied, already turning his attention back to his papers, not sparing you another glance.

You left his office, the door clicking shut behind you, but the weight of the interaction lingered in your chest. The invitation you had made—so impulsive, so sudden—felt strange. You didn't understand why you had said it, or why it felt like there was something more to it, something you couldn't quite place.

Why is my heart racing a mile a minute?

As you walked down the dimly lit hallway, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to the night than you were letting on. A part of you wanted to retreat, to pretend it hadn't happened, but another part of you couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he said yes. 

Would it change things? Would it make you feel differently?

You didn't know the answers, but one thing was certain: something was different. Something you couldn't quite put your finger on.

No, you weren't going crazy. Something had shifted between the two of you.

a/n: okay so this is gonna be a lil short sum summm just to tide me over during these trying academic times. lmk what you thought! lmk if you enjoyed!!!!!!!! x

credits: einruji__ on twitter . I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

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wanna join the taglist? | pornstar ; chapter index

[atrial-ofhorror-if]

Firstly I am so sorry about attacks you have been getting 😭. Secondly I personally find it funny how this author often talks about "smaller" authors being harshly criticized but then manages to harshly criticize other much much smaller author? Kinda hypocritical in my opinion. Also don't let this move you. You did nothing wrong and I am so excited for Naruto IF 👏💓

Thanks nonnie, I'm just trying to keep busy at this point.

I'm excited for the Naruto IF too tho!! We gotta right the wrongs Kishimoto did to us with Boruto!

[love-toxin]

fantasy - chapter 8; the prelude

parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

a/n: this chapter and the 7th one were originally going to be the same chapter, though I didn’t have enough time to put them both together, hence the shorter lengths. sorry there’s mostly plotbuilding lol. chapter 9 will be more exciting for those interested in the nasty. 

ongoing plot: set in the fantasy kingdom of yuuei, izuku plays the orphaned prince and heir to toshinori’s throne, alongside his radiant bride-to-be. however, becoming king and queen will have to wait when the couple are attacked and kidnapped by a group of thugs, led by a spiky-haired barbarian with a lust for blood, on the eve of their wedding day.

chapter plot: with new friends parting ways and old ones coming to their aid, izuku and his darling have finally been found by their knight in shining armour. home is only a stone’s throw away now, as well as their return to a normal life--that is, if the princess’s budding powers don’t hinder their journey back. 

warnings: character death mention, arguments, implied love spell. 

characters: prince izuku, princess darling, royal knight iida, knight mirio, beast tribe ojiro, cursed princess hagakure. 

word count: 5.4k

"...Iida!"

You left Izuku to scramble to his feet behind you, as you were up in seconds and splashing through the knee-deep water to get to your knight in shining armour. The thought that it might be a ruse again, just like with the siren, barely had room to cross your mind when such excitement flooded through your veins. You reached the shore in moments, and without any worry or care in your mind, you threw yourself into Iida's arms and nearly wept with happiness at finally seeing him again. 

"Princess--Prince Izuku!" And your love was right behind you, his chest pressing up to your back and his arms coming round to squeeze you between the both of them, your cheek squished against the silver of his breastplate but not uncomfortably enough to diminish your grin. Any normal man would probably have been toppled over by such a forceful and sudden embrace--but Iida stood strong and proud as ever, and trapped both of you in his arms before squeezing hard enough that you felt Izu's hip bones digging into you from behind, and you were lifted off your feet before he swiftly set you back down.

A sense of ease settled over you then, as the excitement ebbed away. Iida was not only a good friend and a devoted caretaker, he was a symbol to you--whether it was the shine of his armour in the light, or the way he welcomed you no matter how long or short your time away from him was, Iida reminded you of home in a way that few other people could. When you saw him waiting for you, you always knew that you would be safe. 

"Prince, princess, you look...terrible."

And those first words out of his mouth, despite how blunt they were, made you laugh in reply and squeeze him even tighter, before finally letting him go and taking a step back with your husband. You barely found a spare breath in your eager reunion, much less the strength to say anything with a clear mind--but Iida himself certainly did, once his eyes locked on to the others you had been joined by in the lake, and his brow furrowed as he reached to his side and gripped the hilt of his sword.

"So these are the perpetrators...I can sense you, woman! Conceal yourself all you wish, but you cannot hide from a knight of Yuuei!" 

Hagakure squeaked from her place at Ojiro’s side, the two having slid off the rock to follow you both just to stop in ankle-deep water a few feet away. But her husband stood quiet, with shock written clear on his face, even as Iida pushed past the two of you to point his weapon in their direction.

"W-Wait, Iida! These two are friendly! They weren't the ones to kidnap us!" 

Izuku grabbed hold of one arm, and you followed close behind in clutching the other, the two of you just barely enough to hold Iida back from attacking or arresting them on site. Knowing your dear and devoted knight, it was more than likely that he would--after all, he had done much worse in exchange for much less, like the time a visiting duke attempted to court you in your first few days at the castle. You could still feel the fury burning off the knight, who had been entirely stoic towards you up until then, as he tore the fool apart with words and left him cowering and sputtering as he apologized profusely to both you and your fiance. 

Iida grew silent, and for a moment you wondered to yourself if he might break your orders, and apprehend your new friends anyways--but he let the feeling pass and all four of you relaxed as he put his weapon away, before straightening up to address the two of you as properly as a knight of Yuuei should. 

“...Very well. However, I ask that you maintain a respectable distance from the prince and princess.”

It was then, as if a lever had been tugged forward in Ojiro’s brain, that the half-beast snapped to attention from his stupor and dropped to his knees with a splash, his tail curling inward under his stomach and his head tilted down as if to make himself as small as possible. At first you thought Hagakure had kneeled to see if he was hurt by the water parting beside him, but soon you realized that she was doing the same--and with his voice wobbling in his throat, Ojiro belted out an apology that took you entirely by surprise.

“I’m so sorry, your highness! We didn’t know you were...y-you are..” 

The fear in his voice was palpable, and you could clearly see the ripples in the water around Hagakure as she trembled on her knees. You weren't so naïve to think that they were just overreacting--it was a truth you'd had to accept in ascending to the throne that people would have higher respect for you, and also that not all royalty would be so humble about it. You and Izuku had both witnessed dignitaries and nobles mistreating the lower class and even targeting people to make examples out of them. But you were determined not to be that kind of queen, and the opportunity to prove that couldn't have been more perfect than right now. 

“It’s okay! It’s okay, I promise.” 

Ignoring Iida's caution, you took a step back into the water and carefully picked your way towards them, before crouching to meet Ojiro's eyes as he finally lifted his head. 

"You two have been so kind to us. If anything, we should be the ones bowing to you."

His lips parted in an attempt to refute, but he fell silent as he seemed to lose himself in your gaze. You'd unknowingly trapped him in it, the gleam in his eyes growing into some sort of haze...and in your moment of intended kindness, your heart twisted suddenly at how familiar that look was. Ojiro didn't move an inch, and he barely took a breath in the time that he looked upon you so intently, as if he was totally enchanted to the point of being brainwashed. He reminded you so much of the way that Izuku looked when he fell under Shinso's spell, and Mirio's words started to echo in your head as a strange sensation flooded through you…

"Did you not hear the princess? You both may stand."

However, it faded away with Iida's sharp tone severing the connection, and you held out your hands for both of them to take and get to their feet, while Ojiro gently shook away whatever had overtaken him in that moment. By the time the feeling had passed completely, the couple had bowed to you once more and finally took their leave, while Izuku extended the offer to visit the two of you in the castle once you'd gotten back and settled into normal life again, which they both seemed happy to agree to. And just as soon as you'd made friends they were gone once more, and you were left to walk in the opposite direction down the path that led back to Mirio's cottage, with Izuku on one side of Iida and you on the other. 

"Iida, I'm dying to know--how in the world did you find us? And what remains of the town and the castle?" 

Fortunately enough for you, Izuku unintentionally steered the conversation away from the concerning thoughts whirling about your head. You were curious too about the state of your home, and the worrying fantasies of the destruction that must have occurred in your absence had plagued your thoughts and dreams since the moment you awoke in the barbarian's clutches. 

"Everything, my liege. The barbarians set the castle foyer ablaze, but the damage was minimal compared to the rest of the palace. And the city laid untouched, save for the panic they induced by lighting their torches to the banners." 

Iida huffed, and knowing him you knew that refurnishing the foyer was as high on his list as the more pressing issues he dealt with--but as you picked your way down the dirt path and the creek babbled softly amidst the trees, you felt a heavy weight lift off your shoulders at the news that your worst fears hadn't come true. You had been so terrified of losing the people you loved, and if you hadn't been going through much worse on a daily basis, you knew that terror probably would've consumed you to the point that you were crippled by it--but by a stroke of luck, all would be well, at least you hoped so. 

"But nobody was hurt?"

"Nothing more than minor injuries. However, your majesty...I regret to inform you that the portrait of the king and queen Inko was destroyed in the fire." 

Iida's voice wavered, and you could sense the tension that fell over him as he spoke. You knew exactly which painting he was referring to, the huge one that hung at the innermost wall of the foyer between the marble staircases that led down to the entrance. It had hung there since long before the king and queen had passed, so long that they looked much younger than they had when you knew them--and in Inko's arms had been a little bundle with locks of vibrant hair spilling out, Izuku's little green eyes mesmerizing you even as a precious newborn. 

That portrait had been Izuku's favourite, and after the death of his parents it had been a staple item for him to cling to in his grief. At one time you had cradled his head to your chest as he sobbed, the two of you knelt before the grand painting that served as the last clear memory of his beloved family. And now that it was gone, you loathed to think of how deeply it would pitch him into sadness to have that token destroyed forever. 

But, much to your surprise, your husband's exhausted eyes betrayed nothing but sincerity, and he merely greeted the news with a soft sigh and a tired smile. 

"That's okay. I'm sure it can be replaced--what's important is that you and the people are all safe." 

Even Iida--or perhaps, especially Iida--seemed shocked at that response, his footsteps hesitating for just a second before he recollected himself and carried on. So rarely did anything phase your beloved knight, though it was in part because he always seemed to be thinking ten steps ahead. 

"Yes, your majesty. I'll make sure to commission a replacement the moment we return. I'm aware that the original artist passed away a few years ago, but I'll find an apprentice to emulate his style to the finest detail-"

"Iida, you needn't go that far! It's just a painting, after all. We can get another made in time--easing the citizen's minds and returning to where we were before is more important right now." 

Your love ducked under a branch that Iida shot forward to move aside, and in the process, his eyes met yours with a creeping sense of dread behind them. His words were curt and his voice just hinting at strain, and by now you were fully aware of what he meant when he gave you a look like that. It was a look that asked you to follow his lead, and not say anything about what had happened up until now--and you didn’t blame him, even though you felt that urge to spill everything to Iida the moment you got to see him again. 

Of all the terrible things to tell Izuku’s closest and most trusted confidant, recounting the humiliating events that you’d both survived would be one of the absolute worst, at least for now. When you arrived home and when you were safe and comfortable back in the kingdom, you both could work up the courage to walk Iida through the tale and catch him up with everything. But not here, not when he was already stressed out of his mind with protecting you and mentally arranging his next steps to take you home. It would just tip over an already delicate situation, and you needed time to heal first--so for now, you made the silent agreement to say nothing, and let Izuku handle the rest as you came closer to where the little cottage in the woods lay. 

"Anyways, how have you been holding up? I hope you haven't been stressing yourself out this much in our absence. I trust that Ochaco has been in a similar state, knowing how frantic she can make herself." 

The knight served Izuku a tight-lipped, unreadable expression, before he replied with a quick and solid explanation. You had a feeling, just based on that unusual demeanour alone, that he wasn't the only one that wasn't saying everything. 

"Everyone has only been worried about the two of you, your majesty. We've missed you terribly." 

“As have we.”

Iida turned his head towards you, and served you a brief but kind smile at hearing such a gentle compliment from his princess. He didn’t have to say that he missed you, he would’ve felt it was improper to say so anyways, even though you’d reminded him time and time again that you didn’t mind his informality if he ever chose to show it. 

However, you couldn’t help but notice the lack of warmth you’d expected from him. Iida wasn’t affectionate by any means, and he and Izuku had been close since they were children, so being an outsider you had come to terms with Iida’s gradual evolution from suspicion to acceptance of your place in Izuku’s life. But even so, you felt a little exclusion as your pace faltered a bit and you trailed behind the two men. It was a feeling that grew the more Iida tried his best not to look you in the eyes, and avoided any mention of you unless Izuku was the one to bring it up as they chatted away. 

‘As have we?’ You haven’t given a thought to those sops back home. 

Your feet stuck in the dirt the moment you felt that sensation bubble up inside your chest. The voice filled your head and muffled all other sounds around you--and you hated the grumbling tone that you could feel underneath your skin as he muttered to you, like he was speaking just a hair’s length from the back of your neck. 

Is it because you didn’t care? Or was it impossible while you were cavorting with anyone that gave you attention? 

Your mouth formed the warning for the unwelcome visitor to hold his tongue, but he just scoffed and continued on. You knew for certain that this voice wasn’t your own, that it must have come about by a curse or a poison coursing through your veins...but whatever it was, and whoever had cast it over you, were both going to suffer your wrath once you found a way to shove it out from the place it took in your system, sitting inside your mind like a throne. 

None of those plebeians had any care for you, other than to use you for their desires. And yet you’ve given in every time….pathetic.

If you had any strength, you may have resorted to bashing your temples with the flat of your hands, just to make the horrid voice disappear and give up the control he had over your mind. But you did no such thing, and stood there starry-eyed as the world around you passed you by, the creek babbling a few feet away, and your husband’s palms cupping your cheeks to try and bring your attention back. 

��..Huh?”

The tightness in your throat evaporated, and once you took a deep breath in, the world came back into focus. Izuku knelt before you with concern heavy in his eyes, and Iida’s fingertips dug into your shoulder as he shook you pseudo-gently. But they both stopped once you awoke from your momentary stupor, a question on Izuku’s lips immediately as he begged to know if you were okay. And could you really answer? Or could you simply fall short of the words to do so, and murmur a soft and uneasy reassurance that everything was fine?

“Come here. You shouldn’t be standing another moment, my love.”

You had little room to argue anything in the moment, the encounter leaving you feeling hollow and sucked dry of the little energy you had managed to regain. Izuku bent down with a hand steadying your back, and swept you off your feet with the other, effectively leaning over you so you’d fall comfortably in his arms and he could lift you up as he stood. You distantly felt the stern tone of Iida’s words as he lightly reprimanded your beloved, and even you would have been fighting against Izuku straining himself when he was supposed to be recovering--but you were just so, so tired. 

“Would you deny me the responsibility of caring for my wife, Iida?”

“No, my liege. However, I can tell from appearance alone that you’re absolutely drained yourself. You need to take care of your health, your majesty.”

Iida’s propriety stood as firm as he did, shoulders straight and arms tucked in, the silver sheen of his uniform giving him the appearance of a decorative suit of armour. They kept walking though, with the knight’s advice falling on deaf ears while you laid your head in the crook of Izuku’s neck, and felt him chuckle sweetly as he kissed your forehead, before falling quickly into a slumber you couldn’t resist a moment longer. 

Stirring as you slept on the chest of your husband was as comforting as home itself, but at this point in your journey, the pillow you found yourself clutching gently was a rather healthy alternative. It smelt of smoking firewood and deep, bold spices, ones you recalled being used in some of the more adventurous dishes you’d eaten from all those visiting nobles you’d been acquainted with. Sleep was little more than a passing joy to you now however, and you rose up from where you lay to feel a blanket slip slowly down and off your shoulder. 

Turning your groggy gaze towards the voices at your back, you were met with the sight of four men sitting around the table, with one unfamiliar one keeping his back to you. But you blinked and four turned to three, and you blamed the vision on the tricks of your own eyes and forgot about it. Izuku’s chin rested on his hand as he listened intently to whatever Iida was explaining, before his eyes locked with yours, and suddenly he was pushing his seat from the table to get up and step around to cross the distance towards the bed you’d been laid in. He took a cushy seat at the foot of it, his hand warm through the blanket as he touched your leg and asked about your fatigue, and if you were feeling any better after your little nap. And all you could manage was a nod, and an open hand to guide his chin forward so he could kiss you on the lips. 

'"We were just talking about you, princess. There's something we need to discuss."

Izuku had obviously gained a bit of confidence back, after reuniting with his most trusted confidant following such a tumultuous journey. But the unsightly downward tug of his lips as he prepared to break the news left cracks in that facade, especially as he took your hands into his and breathed out a deep sigh. 

"Iida needs to return to Yuuei as soon as possible, so he can inform everyone that we've been found and prepare for our return. But…"

Fear and anxiety already began piling up as Izuku skirted around the topic, his eyes averted and downcast as he gave you a tight squeeze. You already didn’t like where this was going, especially when both Mirio and Iida had grown quiet in the background. 

"..We don't have a carriage, and his horse can only carry one other person. So Iida is going to take you back home today, and I'll follow in a wagon tomorrow with a few of Mirio's colleagues."

Your answer to that bubbled up in your throat and spilled from your lips before you could even give it a second thought, the “no” piercing through the heavy silence of the cottage and slashing Izuku’s proposal in twain. 

He might see it as foolish, and he might argue with you about it, but there was a reason why you responded so swiftly--you promised him you would be there for him to lean on, to cry with, and to hold whenever he needed to. You weren’t going to break that promise now, no matter if it was reckless or not. No matter if you risked your life or not. 

"I had a sense you wouldn't agree to that. But I'm afraid I have to push for it, my love--I just can't risk having you out here anymore, even if you're with me. You need to get home, and Iida will be able to protect you the whole way there."

"I'm not afraid of being hurt, I'm afraid of you being hurt. I'm not leaving without you." 

Your voice fell strong on all three pairs of ears, Mirio’s eyes widening and Iida’s expression turning sour as he bit his tongue and looked away. And Izuku’s exhaustion was no longer the reason why he softened and started to cave under your rebuttal...you knew there was a piece of him that had flourished in the face of your adversities, one that held a higher respect for you when you stood your ground and didn’t hesitate to tell him what you wanted. He liked that part of you a lot more than any other king would, and you were sure of it as soon as his smile returned to his lips and he leaned in to kiss your forehead as gently as a breath of air.

"...Are you certain, my love?"

His voice wavered, but didn't break. You knew the consequences could be dire, and you could be wasting your last opportunity to find safety before your luck ran out. But you had never been more certain of anything in your life. 

"Without a doubt. I'll follow you to the ends of the earth." 

He gripped your hands even tighter, clearly fighting with his inner voice on what the proper route to take would be. You knew you made it much more difficult with that matter-of-fact statement though, and in time he huffed a slow sigh and brought your hands up to his lips, so he could press a tired kiss to your knuckles. 

"...Okay. We'll take the wagon tomorrow then, together. Iida, I want you to hurry home tonight--you'll be faster on your own, anyways."

Had you been home, and had this been a normal conversation, that would have been the end of it. As long as you had known him, Iida had never openly questioned Izuku’s orders--however, once again, it seemed as though your presence made things more complicated than they used to be. 

"Is there nothing I can say to change your mind, my liege? Will you not listen to reason?"

Iida resisted whatever else he was tempted to say that you knew would have incurred Izuku’s wrath, his brow furrowing as he stared holes into Izuku’s back. Whatever they had been talking about while you were asleep and whatever he wasn’t saying now definitely struck a nerve with your husband, and you felt the sharp edge of Izuku’s words as he turned his head over his shoulder and spat back his reply. 

"Reason has not kept my beloved safe, Iida. But I will, even if I have to give up my own life to do so. I’m not leaving her here."

Tension laid itself over the room once again, growing thicker and thicker to the point that it was almost palpable--and in an attempt to cut through it once again, Mirio smiled awkwardly before getting up from his seat and hurrying over to the fireplace, with a haphazard question on his lips.

“Would anyone like some dinner? You should have a bowl, Sir Iida--you’ve got a long journey ahead!” 

The squire already began spooning a warm stew from the cooking pot into a bowl, but Iida was out of his seat and headed for the front door before Mirio could even set the food in front of him. His shoulders were set, his demeanour cold...and his eyes spared no shred of emotion, even as his gaze caught your own and his eyes burned into you from afar.

“...No. I’m fine. I’ll be going now.” 

Nothing had ever chilled you to the bone as that cold, piercing fury had, sending tremors up your spine even after he tore his gaze away and opened the door to the cabin. Outside, a warm breeze drifted in and the setting sun painted pink and orange streaks across the horizon, but Iida stalked through it as a crow would swoop over a funeral procession. 

“Iida-” 

Whether he meant to or not, the door was slammed hard behind him, and signalled the last glimpse you would get of the knight for who knows how long. Your husband’s voice fell flat in the echo of the little cottage walls, his plea going either unheard or ignored. 

Dinner was long and quiet after that. Mirio filled your bowls with rich, heavy stew that warmed your belly and spread out through every limb of your body, until you were left with a pleasant tingle of comfort behind, and when you finished he happily filled you a second and a third each until the pot was empty and your stomachs were full. Going days without a proper meal had brought you to such a point, where your hunger was voracious and all-consuming at the first whiff of good food, and you were beyond fortunate that Mirio was so happy to provide it. 

By the time you were finished you were both tired enough to find comfort in staying in your spots at the table, while the blond hummed a gentle tune as he washed the dishes and took the pot off the heat to boil a bit of water for tea. You took a cupful just to be polite, even though your belly felt as though it was close to bursting with how much you'd tucked away--but it was good, the brew not too sweet while the leaves settled your stomach and helped soothe everything, enough that you held the teacup to Izuku's lips so he could take a sip or two himself. And when that too was drained, he plucked it gingerly from your hand and set it aside to wash later, the sun long having set on the world outside and the fire needing to be stoked so you didn't grow cold from the oncoming chill in the air. 

"Thank you for your hospitality, Mirio. You've been too kind to us." 

You still kept your head aloft, not wanting to lose your sense of etiquette in the presence of such a sweet and friendly person by falling asleep on his dining table. But Izuku was just barely there, his eyes half-closed and his shoulders jolting back each time he nearly dozed off sitting up. 

"It's the least I can do, princess. Now, you two should be getting some rest, don't you think?"

Gratitude filled your chest at the fact that he didn't seem to mind however, and like a child being led by their parent you allowed Mirio to take your hand and lead you towards the bed, before he turned back and helped Izuku do the same so he could collapse face-first into the plushy mattress below. And you were dead-set on doing the exact same, your body heavy from the meal and the events of the day...but catching a glimpse of the blond kneeling down to take the chains out from under the bed kept you from doing so, a brow raised as you questioned him without thinking twice.

"...Mirio, you're not sleeping on the floor, are you?"

He reacted just as how you imagined a young man would, had he been caught doing something he shouldn’t in front of his parents. He tugged his hands back to rest them on his knees, and looked up at you with a rosy tinge to his cheeks as he stuttered out a reply. 

"It's no problem, your majesty! I did the same last night, and I wouldn't want to be improper around a married woman. The effect of the siren's curse...well, i-it's still...quite hard to resist, if I can be honest." 

He fidgeted gently with his fingers, shifting his position a bit so as to try and hide those same effects he’d been talking about that had already taken a toll on his body. 

A part of you, one that you tried not to think too hard about, wrestled memories of that voice inside your head and pushed them forwards to the front of your mind. Whatever it said had no stock, talking about how you’d allowed yourself to give in to those who had wanted despicable things from you...but even so, it didn’t stop you from thinking about it, and finding a bit of yourself in the eyes of the sweet, gentle knight at your feet. 

"Mirio, come up here. You should be comfortable too, don’t you think?" 

"Y..Yes, your majesty."

Having the ability to say no did not necessarily mean he had a choice in the matter--but as you shuffled closer to Izuku who had curled up under the blankets, and felt the bed sink under Mirio’s weight as he tugged off his overcoat and slipped in beside you, you and he both knew that he had every say in whatever happened after that. He was obligated to obey your whim of sleeping in his own bed, but you were well prepared for what may come after that, should he choose to let those instincts of his run a little wild. 

Mirio settled in until he was comfortable, his chest facing yours while Izuku cuddled up against your back, his arm hanging over your hip so he could bury his hand comfortably under your clothes and press it to your belly. He was close enough to breathe against your neck, and Mirio was close enough to see it, his own arm curling up under his head and tucking his pillow down to cushion his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed within moments, his face mere inches from your own and his free hand laid comfortably over his opposite bicep as he slept on his side. 

And he slept. He moved no closer to you until he finally drifted into slumber, and the occasional turning or unconscious movement caused him to shift a little closer to where you lay. Otherwise he did absolutely nothing, with no attempts to touch you or wait for you to fall asleep so he could do anything unsavoury...in fact, neither did Izuku, aside from the occasional soft sighs of your name that he murmured in his sleep, his lips a hair’s breadth from your skin so you could feel every loving touch. 

For once, the day ended in a relatively normal fashion, or at least as normal as you could expect considering where you had ended up. The voice in your head was proven wrong. Not everyone would try to make their move on you, even if they wanted to, as was evident by some of the questionable noises Mirio made as he slept before he would shake himself awake, and turn away from you to doze back off into the land of dreams. 

As relieving as that revelation was, though, your mind was still plagued by visions every time you closed your eyes. Instead of dreams regarding your sweet, happy Izuku, or memories of good meals or joyful fits of laughter that you treasured, you saw the same thing every time you tried to fall asleep. A white room, a blackened flower sitting in a little vase, and a man perched on the seat across from you with a pair of eyes that pierced into yours. 

You wished he would speak every time you saw such a vision, so that you could wholly confirm what suspicion he aroused. But he said nothing. And you had the whole night to endure him staring into the deepest pits of your soul, his cheek lazily resting on his knuckles, and the mask blocking all but the searing chill of his golden eyes. 

[brassikarts]

“😃” “😃” “😃” “😃” “😃” “😃” “😃” “😃”

Val - gives me the opportunity to worldbuild, with the Kirin Tor, with what happened in the early days of the Plague; it��s neat to have someone a little older who’s been around awhile who can speak to much of Azeroth’s recent history, and let me fill in the gaps. :)

Val - speaking of being around for awhile, it’s been so cool to see her evolve through writing over the years from someone dead who is trying to do right by her family and people, to her being tempted by the offer for a second chance and taking it to being this sensate brat for a few years while she rediscovers what it means to be alive.  She’s only, within the past few years, been ‘growing up’ and learning how to contribute and be less selfish and it’s just an amazing character evolution.

Brassy - has actually let me examine a lot about the concepts of anxiety and mental illness.  I am not an expert, by any means, but she in particular has been affected by the war and her experiences with the Sha in Pandaria in ways that my other veterans haven’t, and she’s pulled herself out of some awful, rough places.  It’s difficult but rewarding to write someone pulling themselves out of that.

Justus is an interesting one to write in that he doesn’t quite fit in neatly *anywhere*.  It’s fun, having him navigate two worlds: city and country, Alliance and Horde, innocence vs becoming jaded.

Justus’ character evolution with Catherine has also been so natural, so easy to write - it’s neat watching someone fall in love for the first time and not rush it.  

Speaking of falling in love, Val x Elf gives me feelings.  I simultaneously love and hate that that’s a couple that works SO well together but ultimately cannot work out well, and it’s a fascinating study in writing and plotbuilding.

Have I mentioned that all of my undergrad and grad school ag and botanical knowledge has gone into Justus?  I love that he’s a farmboy and gets so excited over soil and apples.

Another Justus and Brassy one, sure - it’s fun to write someone that just… isn’t that smart.  Not that they’re stupid, but Val’s head (and Hath, when I play her) is a tough place to be. They’re like a palate cleanser in some ways.  Thoughts can be less complex; less critical thinking can be involved in their decision making and dialogue.

@bloody-loyalties

[geekns]

What's funny is that this was the best episode of the season thus far. It actually felt like something out of Rebels or Clone Wars and wasn't as boring. They're taking way too long, dragging out the plotbuilding (which is barely there). Bo has taken over the show I'm sorry to say. She doesn't have the range for it, and we're here for Din and Grogu. Which is sad because I was excited to see what they would do with her.

i didn’t want to sound rude and no disrespect to lizzo and jack black but like… what was the point? it used to feel like a star wars show and now it feels completely like a cheap cameo disney shtick if that makes sense. and what’s even the plot of this season? like what’s going on fr

watch season 1 + 2 and tell me for ONE second that "jack black and lizzo cameo" would be even in the same realm of narrative possibility.

shockingly bad, embarrassing, corporate mindflayer