#5k

[coelii]

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

[gordonengineswifenirmal]

Meh not failsafe.

im

[seven-oh-four]

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

[trans-seraphim]

i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.

[lieutenant-sarcastic]

For Years my brother has been fucking with me by periodically texting me to say Jimmy Carter had finally died. Today the bit has paid off.

The response to my reaction at work was “what do you MEAN ‘for real this time’?????”

I fucking hate it here I’m crying

[silvermoon424]

Bro absolutely COOKED with this.

EDIT: Y'all OOP is not whitewashing and brushing past the crimes of the fucking Taliban, they're simply pointing out that unlike the American elite- who have never suffered a day in their lives- terrorists like the Taliban usually go through some radicalizing event caused by poor life circumstances. That absolutely does not excuse or condone the horrible things they do, of course.

Also, Somali pirates and the Taliban were explicitly mentioned because this comment is in response to a couple of their former hostages saying said groups supplied them with soap and toothpaste, which the US government refuses to give to migrants. You can stop misinterpreting and derailing this post now, thanks.

[deanwasalwaysbi]

This is the perfect moment for Vine to do the funniest thing possible

[isawken]

4chan memorial post. rest in hell

[greghatecrimes]

House drugged that coffee btw

[koobiie]

i feel strongly about this

[tremordusk]

New slur unlocked: Elon Musk

happy to report that gen α is using ‘Elon Musk’ as a derogative as of recent

[terezis]

every time you make freezer food for dinner instead of buying takeout like you actually want you should earn two hundred dollars cash and a round of applause

[codecicle-archive]

MY FAVORITE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS' PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE!!!!

[izzy-mccalla]

rip mythbusters you would've loved destroying cybertrucks

[ahotknife]

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself