#favorite song. i hate almost everything about my time on instagram but that part struck me as surprisingly genuine and cute

[parme-san]

when i got all my music recommendations from instagram fancams of various blorbos i straight up think i had more fun listening to music

[sunsetspidey]

a little too much ⎮s.m.

pairing: reader x shawn mendes

summary: the release of the señorita music video was all it took for her insecurities to become too much

warnings: a few bad words, some angst, insecurities, mention of anxiety 

a/n: this is based off a request from @skarsgard-bill-sstuff! i hope you like it and that i did your request justice. p.s. i’m sorry for taking ages to write it

disclaimer: i do not have anything against camila or shawmila or whatever. just putting that out there. i just want my smol bean to be happy. ok that’s all.

Y/N wasn’t sure when the insecurities started, but they were there and they were real. So, so real and she couldn’t find the switch to turn them off. When they first forced their way into her head, she pushed them away, telling herself that she had absolutely no reason to feel this way. Shawn could have anyone he wanted (he practically had girls throwing themselves at him everywhere he went) and he had chosen her. He didn’t hold back on his affection and compliments either, only enforcing the fact that her doubts were unnecessary.

Maybe that was why they had started - when his affection grew less and less frequent, and his compliments turned into complaints. When he had called her a bitch because she had asked him if he could clean up his clothes in their bedroom, she told herself that he was stressed about the upcoming tour. He had apologized the same night, wrapping his arm around her waist and whispering sweet nothings into her ear, so she hadn’t thought much about it. It happened again a few weeks later and it didn’t take long before outbursts and namecalling became common in their conversations. 

Y/N wasn’t completely innocent, either, and she was fully aware. Instead of trying to reason with him when he started acting like that, she would return his hurtful words and only fuel his anger farther. It was sort of a vicious cycle that either of them seemed to know how to stop. She desperately needed it to, though, because she didn’t know how much more of the arguing she could handle. The more they argued, the more the insecurities and what-ifs were gnawing at the back of her mind. Some days, they were the first thing she thought of in the morning and the last thing she thought of before succumbing to sleep. They plagued her everyday life and she hated it. 

The release of the music video for Señorita was all it took to push her over the edge. When Shawn told her about his collaboration with his long-term best friend, you had been nothing but supportive. She even offered an opinion or two on the lyrics when the two of them had been stuck. Shawn had told her all about the concept for the music video during a FaceTime call while on tour in Europe, but neglecting to mention that he and Camila were the ones starring in it. Y/N had joined Shawn’s livestream on Instagram the day he was premiering it on YouTube, joining the fans in teasing him as he couldn’t figure it out. For the first time in a while, she had watched the video simultaneously with his fans and while they were freaking out about how good it was, she had been freaking out about something else entirely. 

She was meeting him in Los Angeles two weeks after the release and those two weeks had been horrible. There were reminders everywhere; online, her text messages, the TV. The song was breaking records, which made it worthy of the news and that also meant she would photos and short clips whether she wanted to or not. A few of her friends had texted her, attempting to subtly ask if she was okay with Shawn being all over Camila like that. She wasn’t, but she wouldn’t tell them that, playing it off like it was no big deal. He was hers and she trusted him - at least that was what she tried telling herself. 

The worst part was the comments and her Twitter mentions got the worst of it. Fans were mentioning her every minute of every day, asking about her opinions of the video. It seemed Shawn’s fans were divided, which she appreciated. While a majority were talking about how he should break up with her and date Camila instead, the minority was on her side. They would send her supportive messages and tag her in edits of her and Shawn. She saw all of it and the edits reminded her of how long it had been since the two of them had been out in public. The photos used were almost four months old and she couldn’t ignore how it tugged on her heartstrings. 

Y/N watched Shawn from the side of the stage as he soundchecked, leaning against the concrete wall, her arms across her chest. She had arrived late the previous night and she was positive she hadn’t been able to hide her disappointment when Brian came to pick her up from the airport. To avoid his concerned stares, she had mumbled an excuse about being exhausted and pretended to fall asleep on the ride back to the hotel. Shawn had been asleep when she let herself into the hotel room, barely acknowledging her as she climbed into bed. It had taken her hours to fall asleep, her heart aching as he listened to his steady breathing. She had felt out of place sleeping next to him suddenly and it pained her massively. When she woke up the next morning, Shawn hadn’t been anywhere in sight, a simple text letting her know that he had gone to the gym.

Needless to say, she hadn’t gotten much sleep. She had barely seen Shawn, the two of them yet to exchange any words, and it seemed that his crew was beginning to notice. Brian had made his mission to keep her occupied, it appeared, barely letting her out of his sight. He had taken her to breakfast in the morning, sharing a Lyft with her to the arena, and declined Connor’s invitation of exploring the city. She had been able to sneak away when Alessia struck up a conversation with him and she had sent the Canadian singer a grateful smile as she exited the green room. Y/N was convinced Alessia knew about the chaos inside her head, but she was too heartbroken to ask about it. 

As the familiar tune of Fallin’ All In You filled the empty arena, she swallowed the lump in her throat, furiously blinking away the glossiness in her eyes. She distracted herself with her phone, avoiding Twitter, scrolling through her feed on Instagram instead. Eventually, her boyfriend’s angelic singing fades out and as applause entered her ears, she slipped her phone into the back pocket of her boyfriend jeans. Pushing herself off the wall, she straightened her spine, determined to steal back some of his attention. He stumbled down the stairs, almost knocking her over in the process. A look she wasn’t able to fully interpret crossed his face as he realized who she was. 

“Babe!” he exclaimed, his lips stretching into a smile. She didn’t have time to respond before he pulled her into a hug, her breath momentarily disappearing as she collided with his chest. “What d’you think?” 

“You sound great,” she admitted, reluctantly pulling away. It felt like it had been an eternity since he held like her that and she had almost forgotten his scent. “like always. The voice of an angel.” 

His cheeks were already rosy, but she knew him and could easily spot the blush turning a shade darker. He chuckled, running a hand through his mop of curls and she wished her fingers could replace his. His laughter - easily one of her favorite sounds in the world - would normally send a warm tingle throughout her body, but this time around it caused her nothing but misery. She missed being able to make him laugh without even trying. 

“’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up,” he apologized, his thumb caressing the crease of her wrist. “Connor and I went to the gym and you were gone when I got back.”

She noticed the exaggerated pout of his lips, but ignored it. “Brian treated me to breakfast.” 

Shawn nodded. “He told me. Heard you ate three whole waffles.” 

There was a teasing smirk dancing on his lips and normally she would either elbow him or swat his chest to which he would pull her close and tickle her sides. Not even his playful banter could lift the blanket of mixed emotions she seemed to be tangled in. She was sad; sad because she felt like she didn’t know her boyfriend anymore, sad because he didn’t seem to notice them growing apart, sad because she knew he could do so much better than her. Her sadness was accompanied by anger and frustration for all the same reasons. She was upset with Shawn for acting the way he had been acting, for not telling her about the music video and pretending like it wasn’t a big deal. She was upset with herself because, in reality, she felt pathetic for feeling this way. 

“Do you love me?” 

Her question-like accusation was abrupt. So abrupt that it momentarily felt like everybody in the arena had stopped their actions to listen to their conversation. She was certain that if she dropped a pin, you’d be able to hear it come in contact with the grey concrete floors. Shawn’s playful exterior faltered immediately, his brows furrowing as if trying to figure out if she had said what he heard. His hand fell from hers in surprise and she missed his warm touch instantly. 

“After everything we’ve been through, you still think I don’t love you?” Shawn uttered, disbelief dripping from his words. 

“I don’t know, okay? I can’t tell. I-I don’t know who you are anymore, Shawn.”

His name felt foreign on her tongue and by the way his eyes widened, he wasn’t expecting to hear his first name fall from her lips either. For the two, almost three years, their respective pet names were all they had exchanged as a means of referring to one another. Shawn had expanded his nickname vocabulary as they grew more serious and she wasn’t complaining; some of his favorites being honey and baby. Y/N had her fair share of pet names for him, too, but the most favorable one was rockstar. It always tugged at the corner of his lips and more often than not, it elicited a smile from her favorite person in the whole world. 

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t noticed? Shawn, we can barely get through a conversation without coming for each other’s throats. I feel like I haven’t seen you in months. Even when you’re home, you spend all your time with your friends and when you’re here, you’re with Camila,” she informed, the words spilling out before she could really consider them.

“That’s not—”

“It’s true, so please don’t try to make any excuses. And next time you decide to practically hump her in a music video, how about a heads up first, hm?” 

Shawn’s wide eyes glanced around quickly and although she could tell his anxiety was getting to him, she couldn’t stop herself. She was on a roll and she needed to get the words off her chest. Over the past couple of months, she had been bottling these feelings up, too afraid that if she spoke of them aloud, Shawn would agree with the haunting voice in her head. She knew it hadn’t been the same between them lately, but she also knew that she didn’t want to be with anyone else. Shawn was the one who could make her laugh on her darkest days and she wanted - needed - him in her life. 

Maybe that was the reason her eyes watered as hers met his. She recognized the guilt within them immediately, but it was gone almost as soon as it disappeared. The flicker of remorse was replaced with anger and she knew then that he wasn’t about to just stand there and listen to her, he would put up a fight. She dug her nails into the palm of her hand, determined to at least appear stronger than she was. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of crying. 

“I told you about the music video weeks before we filmed it!”

“Yeah, but you never told me you were the one doing all those things with Camila. If I had known, I wouldn’t be as supportive as I was.” 

Shawn scoffs, his eyebrows quirking. “Supportive? If you were supportive you wouldn’t be out here complaining about me being gone when it’s my job. You knew what it would be like when we started dating.”

He was right and they both knew it. It had been a frequent discussion amongst the two of them as their relationship grew more serious. Shawn made sure to let her know that with his second album nearing its release, there would be even more touring and more interviews, but she had already fallen head over heels for him and was certain they could withstand every obstacle thrown their way. She was proven right as he left for his second world tour, their relationship blooming like a flower in spring. It seemed as though the two of them were invincible and she missed that feeling more than she could express. 

She still wanted them to be. There was not an ounce of doubt within her that she wanted to be with him. The two of them were often mentioned in magazines despite their relationship being fairly private. Headlines like ‘Hollywood power couple Shawn and Y/N’ and ‘Long-term couple Mendes and Y/L/N’ were more frequent than she would like to admit. It was flattering, she couldn’t deny it, but it was also scary. She knew that if the two of them were to split, the press would be all over them in a heartbeat, like vultures attacking their prey. She had been with him for so long that she couldn’t imagine a future without him, but the dark thoughts filling her head were telling her that would be impossible.  

“I’m not complaining,” she muttered, the tears threatening to spill once again. “I’m just saying that you’ve been spending a lot of time with Camila and other friends instead of me. You don’t even invite me along.”

“I do spend time with you, Y/N,” she tried her best not to shudder as her name fell from his lips. It sounded like poison and by the brief look of shock in his eyes, she assumed it tasted like it, too. “Camila’s one of my best friends. I’ve known her longer than I’ve known you.” 

His words were like thorns pricking her skin. It felt like her skin was on fire. Her insecurities were right at the front of her mind instantaneously and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t push them away. She was well-aware that Camila had known him longer and while a part of her hated it, she knew how much she and their friendship meant to Shawn. Camila was sweet and Y/N considered her a friend, so she had never really been insecure until recently. She trusted Shawn and she trusted Camila, but her own thoughts were getting the best of her. 

“Yeah, I know, your fans remind me every day. I don’t know if you notice, but they tag me in photos and tweets all the time and ninety percent of the time it’s to tell me that you should be dating her and not me. Sometimes, I feel like you want it to happen as much as them.” 

She wasn’t sure what she noticed first; the way his expression softened or the salty tear coming in contact with her bottom lip. Inwardly cursing herself for not being able to hold her tears at bay, she brought her hand to her face, frustratingly using the back of her hand to wipe away the escaped tears. She hated not being able to control her tears, it was increasingly difficult when she couldn’t even control her emotions. She was angry and terrified and hurt and sad. It was a cocktail she didn’t like the taste of. 

“What d’you mean? Of course, I don’t! We’re just friends.” 

“Yeah,” she sighed, a scoff escaping her. “And friends don’t know the way you taste, right? Your fans were the ones who pointed it out, actually, but you do seem to have a lot of songs about unrequited love, so it makes you wonder who—”

“Don’t use my lyrics against me,” Shawn mumbled, taking a hesitant step forward as if to test the boundaries. She didn’t have the energy to move and remained in her spot. “I love Camila, but the love I have for her is completely different from the one I have for you. Baby, I love you so much it hurts. Those songs are either based off old feelings or story ideas I make up in my head. You know that.” 

“I-I just,” she sighed and before she could wipe away her continuous tears, Shawn beats her to it. His thumb moves gingerly across her cheek, taking the signs of her weakness with it. “She’s so gorgeous and the whole world practically wants the two of you to date and I... I just feel like I’m not enough.”

“You are,” Shawn proclaimed immediately, his large hand resting against your damp cheek. “You are more than enough. I don’t care what the world thinks or what my fans are saying. I want you. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. There’s been a lot going on with the tour and traveling and planning the- it’s been hectic and you deserve better and I’m sorry.”

“I’m stupid. I’m sorry. I-I just get insecure and social media makes it worse sometimes.”

Shawn shook his head, using his thumb to lift your chin gently. “Hey, you’re not stupid. We all have our insecurities and yours are as real as anyone else’s. I’m really sorry about the music video, but please know that I was thinking of you the whole time and it was fucking awkward. I have the day off tomorrow. Let’s hang out, just the two of us, yeah? No phones. No friends. Sound good?”

She nodded and that was all it took for him to pull her back into his arms. She could feel his nose in her hair and she smiled against his chest. Her insecurities wouldn’t disappear just like that, they both knew that, but the fact that he understood where she was coming from was all she needed. She could hear his small inhale and she knew he was smelling her hair to see if she smelled like home, making her smile even wider. Interlacing her hands behind his back, she hugged him tighter, determined to never let him go. She could only hope that he was in it for the long-run too and his next words were really all the reassurance she needed.

“About fucking time,” Brian exclaimed, startling the two of you apart. “I was about to take Y/N and let you have Camila, man.” 

“Fuck off. No one’s taking her. She’s mine and she always will be.”  

should i create a tag list? also, come talk to me about this! i love hearing your opinions 🧡

[dylshoney]

just a crush｛part two｝

a/n: I got so many requests to do a part two, thank you so much to everyone that enjoyed the first one! more to come soon, if you want to be added to the tag list, to be notified whenever a new part comes out, lmk!

warnings: none

You ran through the crowd, your heart beating out of your chest as you grinned widely. You rushed to the platform Andrew had pointed out to you, showing the security guard your pass and climbing down the steps into the pit right in front of the stage.

 Your eyes widened at how well you could see everything, your hands shaking slightly as you adjusted the settings on your camera, ensuring that everything was perfect for ShowTime.

 You gripped your camera tighter, bringing it up to your eyes and beginning to move around as you looked for the best possible angles. You smiled, you were going to take the best damn pictures that boy had seen in his life and prove to him that you deserved this job.

 The lights began to flash, your smile widening as the entire stadium began to scream. You adjusted your lens for a second – your breath catching in your throat as you watched the gorgeous laughing boy run on stage.

 You couldn’t resist watching him for a second – almost forgetting what you were supposed to do – the smile on his face capturing your attention. You blinked, immediately straightening up, trying to snap the best possible shots of his entrance.

 You felt shivers form all over your skin as he began strumming his guitar, the opening notes to ‘There’s nothing holding me back’ filling the room. You couldn’t resist lightly humming along as you moved about in the free space.

 The songs seemed to change rapidly, the concert flying by in a whirlwind of emotions, stunning performances and endless clicks of your camera.

 You were covered in sweat by the end of it, your feet hurting and your throat sore – but you didn’t mind it one bit, you enjoyed every second.

 Watching Shawn get off the stage was a revolutionary experience for you, your heart pounding as you realized that this was now your reality. You would get to see him do this every night.

 “Y/n!” Andrew’s excited shout snapped you out of your thoughts as he beckoned you closer. You tried to ignore the overwhelming shouts of the fans, mostly asking who you were and where Adam, the previous photographer, was.

 “Hey,” you smiled once you reached him.

 “Such a thrill huh?” He asked, noticing the star-struck look on your face. You couldn’t help but nod, your mind still reeling from the adrenaline of watching one of your idols perform.

 “Come on backstage – I’d like it if you got a few pictures during the meet and greets.”

 You followed him through the dark passages, your fingers tightly wrapped around your camera, your ears still pounding from the aftershock of being so close to the speakers.

 “You can wait in here if you want,” Andrew said, taking you into a large area where you recognized some of the crew setting up, “Shawn should be out in a half hour.”

 “Okay, thank you,” you smiled, walking over to one of the couches where you saw Annie, Shawn’s hairstylist, sitting.

 “Hi,” you sat next to her, your camera placed in your lap as she faced you with a smile, “Don’t you look pretty,” she winked, her eyes trailing over your form. 

You blushed, averting your gaze, “I’m sweating like a pig.”

 She laughed loudly, “Perks of chasing Shawn.”

 You nodded, “He just – has so much energy.”

 “You should see him before shows though,” she smiled, “Bit of an emotional wreck.”

 “Huh?” You tilted your head, staring at her in confusion.

 “He just has a bit of anxiety before every performance, something about wanting to make it memorable for people.”

 You were silent as she continued, “If you ask me, he’s putting way too much pressure on himself. People are going to love him no matter what – it’s inevitable.”

 You couldn’t help but agree. There was something about Shawn that made everyone naturally flock to him – his presence was addicting to be around, you realized – your mind replaying some key moments from the show.

 “Hey,” a friendly voice spoke, your head turning to the left to see Charlie, Shawn’s opening act smiling down at you.

 “H – Hi – ”you spluttered, immediately standing up and taking his outstretched hand.

 “I’m Charlie,” he nodded once you pulled away.

 “Y/n. It’s great to meet you.”

 He smiled, “You as well. It’s nice to finally see the young photographer in person.”

 You bit your lip, “Uh – ”

 “Don’t take it the wrong way,” his grin was genuine, “You’re just a lot younger than Adam.”

 “Yeah,” you blushed, suddenly very interested in your shoes.

 “Shawn said you were eighteen,” he asked, your head perking up at his words. Shawn mentioned you? Your gut plummeted as fast as it rose – what if he talked about how awkward your first interaction was?

 You could feel your cheeks heat up involuntarily, “Unfortunately.”

 He smiled, confusion lacing his features, “Unfortunately?”

 “I’m only legal to drink in Europe,” you shrugged, “And I only happened to miss that part of the tour.”

 You grinned as he began laughing, a pretty smile coating his features, “You’re a big partier, I take it?”

 You shook your head, “No idea. Would have been nice to figure it out though.”

 That only made him laugh harder, your chest swelling in happiness as you realized you might have just made your first friend on tour.

 “You excited for the meet and greet?” You asked as the two of you adjusted your positions, moving to sit down on the couch.

 He nodded, his smile fading a bit as he whispered, “Bit nervous, to be honest.”

 “How come?”

 Charlie shrugged, “Don’t get me wrong, fans are like the best thing in my life,” you silently melted at his words, “But it’s just so nerve-wracking to actually see them all in person. I’m worried I’m going to make a fool of myself.”

 You shook your head, “That’s literally impossible. And even if you do – it’ll only make them love you more.”

 He smiled making you continue, “Seriously! They’ll probably find the whole flustered nervous thing cute. Girls are digging the soft boy look these days.”

 He snorted, “Soft boy?”

 “What?” You look back at him in shock, “Have you opened twitter recently? It’s all people are talking about.

 “I’ve never heard of it.”

 “I’m shocked – Shawn’s basically the epitome of soft.”

 “What would it take to make someone hard?”

 You paused for a moment, a teasing grin on your face as he began to realize his words, “I – uh – I meant –”

 “I know what you meant,” you covered your mouth to hide the laughter that was threatening to burst out of you, “Don’t worry.”

“See!” He groaned, “I just made a fool of myself now!”

“No, you made me laugh - there’s a difference,” you smiled, trying to control your giggle.

“Maybe I should rehearse what I’m going to say?”

You shook your head, “They’re going to see right through that, you need to be genuine. Don’t worry, it’ll be amazing, I promise.”

 He nodded, still unconvinced, his eyes traveling to look at something behind you. His gaze returned to you abruptly, “I gotta go – fans are about to start coming in – I’ll talk to you later?”

 You nodded, smiling at him and sending a thumbs up, “Relax, you’ll do great!”

 He placed a hand on his heart teasingly before mouthing a quick thank you and disappearing from behind one of the black curtains – which you guessed would provide the backdrop for the photos.

 You watched the camera crew enter the space – setting up their equipment in record time. They were the real photographer’s whose photos were meant to all look the same – clean-cut and professional. It was their website that would be selling all the meet and greet photos later.

 You were almost jealous of them for a second – their job seemed almost perfect. All they had to do was set up the tripod in a position and tell Shawn and the fans how to pose. You, on the other hand, were tasked with a bit more creative task. It was your job to take pictures of the photo- ops from different angles, playing around with the lighting and posing to make everything look candid yet professional. You knew that you would definitely be up half the night editing whatever photos Andrew approved – which would later get sent to Shawn – giving him something to post on his Instagram.

  He seemed to enjoy the aesthetic shots, you noticed once when you were stalking his profile, before you had even gotten the job. He loved black and white – the backstage pictures – the ones with raw emotion, unaware that a camera was on him.

 That was probably why you were chosen to be his photographer; it was your exceptional skill to catch people in their most raw, beautiful, unfiltered form. It was your favorite thing to see someone through the lens and snap a photo – capturing the essence of a special moment, and saving it forever.

 You snapped out of your thoughts as Annie tapped you on the arm. You were quick to stand up and follow the older girl to the middle of the room, where the barricade was set up.

 “Annie!” You spun around at the sound of the breathless voice, your eyes practically jumping out of their sockets as Shawn walked over to her, his cheeks red and hair still wet – presumably from the shower he had just taken.

 “Sit,” Annie’s voice was rushed as she led him to the table where some of her products were scattered, “You should have been here fifteen minutes ago.”

 He coughed, his eyes trailing up to look at you through the mirror. You blushed at the intensity of his gaze, immediately looking away from him and to your feet.

 “Shawn,” Annie groaned, not happy that he was ignoring her.

 “Sorry,” his voice was hoarse.

 “You can’t keep doing this, people have been waiting for over an hour,” Annie’s voice was lost as she turned on the hairdryer, beginning to style Shawn’s hair. You sighed before looking back up to see Shawn already focused on you, he didn’t seem embarrassed to be caught staring – in fact, a small smile adorned his lips.

 You could feel your cheeks catch fire as you attempted to smile back, before stepping away and turning around, as you pretended to fiddle with your camera.

 “Shawn!” Andrew’s hurried tone snapped everyone’s attention to him, “We’re letting everyone in – in ten minutes.”

 Shawn nodded in response, shutting his eyes as he slowly ran a hand through his freshly dried hair. You could feel your breath catch in your throat as you watched him, transfixed on the way his long fingers moved through the locks. You found yourself wondering how soft his hair was, what it would feel like to run your fingers through it.

 “Y/n,” you felt a hand lightly touch your back as you turned to face the sound, Charlie’s grinning face staring down at you, “Could you snap a picture of me with these roses?”

 You didn’t hesitate to nod, “Course, where do you wanna do it?”

 You were happy for the distraction, your mind momentarily forgetting Shawn and the way his eyes on you made you feel.

 “Place them to your nose,” you giggled as you watched Charlie mess around in front of the painted brick wall you had chosen for your backdrop.

 You watched him obey you, his face growing serious as he posed, in what you assumed was supposed to be sexy.

 “You look like you want to eat the camera,” you laughed, as you began snapping pictures, your words brought a small chuckle out of him – his eyes shutting and a wide grin adorning his face. You snapped the picture without a second thought, bringing your camera away from your face to look at the finished product.

 You smiled as your eyes settled on the last picture, he looked genuinely happy, “This one’s –”

 “Perfect.”

 Your words caught in your throat, your body tensing as you recognized the voice that had spoken behind you. You were quick to turn around, your eyes widening as they focused on the larger figure, “I – thank you.”

 He smiled, his eyes not leaving yours as he extended his hand, taking your camera.

 “I have to say I’m a bit jealous,” he spoke, beginning to look through the photos you had snapped of Charlie, “I thought you were my photographer.”

 You swallowed, “I – uh,”

 “C’mon Mendes,” Charlie laughed, walking up to stand next to you, “I had to take advantage of all this talent.”

 You blushed as he turned his head to wink at you, before walking away – presumably to place the roses back where he found them. Shawn seemed to not have heard his words, either that or he was ignoring them – his mouth was opened slightly, eyes narrowed as he brought the camera closer to examine whatever photo he was looking at.

 You could feel your heart drop into your stomach at the look on his face, you couldn’t recognize if it was good or bad, “I uh – didn’t know what kind of angles you like – so I kinda tried all of them. If you don’t like it I can –”

 You cut yourself off as his gaze snapped up to yours, an unreadable expression on his face, “These pictures are stunning.”

 You blinked, your mind registering his words as an involuntarily grin escaped you, “Thank you.”

 He stepped closer to you, coming to stand to your left. He brought the camera between you, leaning closer so he could show you, “This one – it’s – just wow.”

 He stuttered for a moment, your mind blanking as his arm grazed yours, “H –how did you do this?”

 “The highlight on you?” You tilted your head as your eyes left the camera and traveled to his face. He nodded, running his tongue over his lips as he looked back at you.

 “I – I,” you swallowed, trying to calm your breaths, “I followed the pattern of lights, waiting for the right one.”

 He chuckled, “You make it sound easy.”

 “It was,” you shrugged, a surge of confidence waving through you at the sensation of his eyes trained solely on you, “I had a good subject.”

 He laughed again, his eyes crinkling as he straightened up, leaning away from you, “I suppose you did,” his eyes traveled behind you, nodding at something, “I should go.”

 You nodded, taking your camera back. He turned back to you for a second, “I wanted to apologize again, I’m sorry for mistaking you as a fan.”

 “No worries,” you shook your head, “And I didn’t lie. I am a fan – you weren’t too far off.”

 You bit your lip at the look on his face, his head tilted down as a sheepish expression spread over him, color filling his already rosy cheeks.

 “That – uh- means a lot, thank you.” He said, eyes not meeting yours. You tilted your head with a smile, confused at his sudden shyness. You were tempted to ask him about it, but when your eyes locked on a frazzled Andrew you sighed, “You should head to the curtain – Andrew doesn’t look too pleased.”

 He nodded, turning his head to look at Andrew before quickly looking back at you, “Where will you be?”

 You blinked, taken aback by the question, a small smile spreading over you, “Around,” you winked, bringing up your camera, “Now go have fun – I like pictures with you smiling in them.”

 He smiled, dipping his head; “I’ll see you later?”

 You nodded, “Later.”

 You watched him walk away, his body disappearing behind the black curtain. Holy shit. You released a shaky breath, why the hell would you tell him you liked pictures of him smiling? You shut your eyes for a moment, you probably sounded like a psycho. He didn’t care what kind of pictures you liked, only that you took them.

 You bit your lip as you walked to stand behind the large camera, you adjusted your camera for a moment – trying to forget your embarrassment and calm your breathing.

 “Y/n?” You looked over at Andrew, “Don’t worry about taking pictures of everyone he meets, just try to find a few good angles and then you can go get food – you’ve done amazing today.”

 You couldn’t resist the smile, “Thank you, Andrew.”

 “Anytime,” he nodded, “Shawn just told me about the pictures he saw. I’ve never seen him that impressed with anything.”

 You tiled your head, your eyes widening, as Andrew continued, “He seems really happy with you, you don’t know how much that means to me – after Adam … ”

 You were tempted to ask what had happened with the mysterious Adam, but you knew better than to pry in things that didn’t concern you.

 “That’s – I’m – That means a lot,” you finally managed to say.

 He smiled, his eyes traveling to the opening doors to your left, a line of screaming on the outside as the first one walked inside. You smiled at the crying girl, she looked to be a lot younger than you, her wide eyes taking everything in.

 You brought your camera up to your eyes, the lens trained on her. Your breath caught in your throat at the expression on her face as she laid her eyes on Shawn for the first time as he walked out from behind the curtain.

 You snapped the picture, watching her walk up and practically jump in his arms, shaking as he hugged her. He said something in her ear that made her cry harder, your camera snapping another picture of the emotional exchange.

 She separated from him, his face flushed as they stood side by side. He put a hand over her shoulder as they both put up a peace sign. You narrowed your eyes at his close-mouthed smile – a guarded look on his face, bringing your camera down to get a closer look at him.

 The second your camera was no longer obstructing your face, his eyes found yours, widening as he saw how close you were. He looked at your camera for a second, before a wide – exaggerated grin spread over his face, winking at the change in your expression.

 You rolled your eyes with a grin, bringing your camera up to snap another picture, happy that this time he was smiling – even if it was only for your sake.

*

Later that night you were up past two am, which was strictly against Andrew’s orders. He had informed everyone that you were to get up early the next morning so that Shawn could participate in some of the interviews in Vancouver, the next stop on the tour.

 You rubbed your eyes as you shut your laptop and took it off your lap. You had been editing for the past few hours, even though Andrew told you that the pictures didn’t need to be done so soon.

 You were a perfectionist, however, and wanted Shawn to post the pictures of Portland while still in Portland. There was something about seeing your images lining his feed that made you work harder than ever.

 You yawned, sitting up in your bunk before quietly jumping out of it. You hazily walked through the bunks, heading toward the kitchen.

 You looked up at the curtain that separated the bunks from the living area, your eyes widening at the flashing lights that peaked through. You were tempted to turn back and head to your bunk, but your throat was far too dry to go to bed.

 Your hand grabbed the curtain before you could talk yourself out of leaving and opened it, your eyes flickering as they tried to adjust to the brightness of the room.

 Your gaze focused on a figure that was lying on the couch, watching what you recognized as ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’.

 “Shawn?” You said softly.

 He flinched at the sound of your voice, “Y/n?” He sat up quickly on the sofa, turning so he could look at you, a small smile on his face, “What are you doing up?”

 You grabbed a glass out of one of the cupboards, filling it with water and leaning on the counter as you watched him, “Was editing some pictures, you?”

 “Couldn’t sleep,” He shrugged, his smile fading as he looked down.

 “Everything okay?”

 He cleared his throat, “Yeah – I just – I miss home, I guess.”

 You felt an unrecognizable emotion rock through you as you listened to him, “I love touring, don’t get me wrong, I just – ” He trailed off, fidgeting with the frayed edges of his blanket.

 You bit your lip, trying to think of something to say, “I understand. I’ve been gone for barely two days and I’m already homesick.”

 He chuckled, the sound surprising him as he swung his feet off the bed, moving the blanket as he looked at you with a smile, “You wanna sit?”

 “Sure, thanks,” you sat on the couch, placing your cup on the coffee table as you faced the TV, unsure what to say next.

 “Harry Potter huh?” You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth, but Shawn didn’t seem to notice, his face lighting up, “Yeah – have you seen it?”

 “I went through a pretty intense Harry Potter phase, I think I’ve seen all the movies about fifty times each.”

 He began to smile even wider, “Which one’s your favorite?”

 “Oh my God.” You groaned, “There’s no way I can choose.”

 “Good answer.”

 You grinned, turning your body so you were facing him completely, “What’s your house?”

 “Gryffindor,” he said without hesitation.

 “Really? I would have guessed Hufflepuff.”

 He groaned, “Oh God, that’s what everyone says.”

 “What’s wrong with Hufflepuff?”

 “Nothing – just a bit boring is all.”

 Your smile faded as you gasped, “You did not just say that.”

 “What are you gonna do about it, eh?” He winked, but you were far too insulted to think about it right then, “Don’t tell me you’re also one of those people that thinks all Slytherins are evil.”

 “Guilty,” he shrugged.

 “That’s the worst kind of fan!”

 “What do you mean?”

 “You only like Gryffindor cause that’s the main character’s house.”

 “What’s your house then?” Shawn smirked, leaning closer to you, his leg brushing yours.

 “Hufflepuff.”

 He blinked, straightening up, as he looked over at you, “No way.”

 “What?” You smiled, brushing your hair behind your ear.

 “Didn’t peg you as the type.”

 You smirked, “Not boring enough for you?”

 “W- What? No!” He shook his head, “Now you’re making me sound like an asshole!”

 “Hufflepuff haters are assholes.”

 “I’m not a Hufflepuff hater!” He gasped, placing his hand on his heart in mock hurt.

 You hummed, a teasing smile on your face as he pouted next to you.

 “I’m not,” he mumbled again, making you start giggling softly, covering your face as you turned away from him.

 You heard him huff, before the sofa dipped as he began adjusting himself, stretching his legs until they were practically on your lap.

 “Excuse me,” you gestured to his legs, your eyebrows raised.

 “I’m not gonna sit here and let you call me a Hufflepuff hater – that’s – it’s unacceptable.”

 “So why – ?” You laughed, pointing to his legs as a cheeky smile spread across his face.

 “I’m going to pretend you’re not here and enjoy my movie.”

 You gasped – it sounded like a mix between a laugh and like you were chocking – and lightly nudged his shoulder. This only made him laugh, and begin moving around until his legs were completely on your lap.

 “Wow,” you crossed your arms, sinking back into the couch, but making no move to remove his legs from you.

 You were both silent for a few minutes – your mind focused on Hermione getting petrified, until you felt a nudge on your shoulder again, making you turn and face Shawn.

 “Why are you a Hufflepuff?”

 You opened your mouth, confusion lacing your features, “What?”

 “Like – what characteristics make you a Hufflepuff?”

 “Oh,” you paused for a moment, never before answering that question, “I guess I’m loyal and friendly – that’s probably it, but my friends say that I could be a Slytherin as well, so I guess it depends.”

 He didn’t respond, processing your words for a few moments before a small smile spread over his face, “So you’re kind but evil?”

 You groaned again, “Stop saying that they’re evil!”

 He raised his hands in mock surrender, “They all served Voldemort!”

 “Most of them were too young to know better!”

 He shook his head with a smile, obviously enjoying getting a rise out of you, “Not too sure about that.”

 You rolled your eyes, “They’re cunning and ambitious – doesn’t sound evil to me.”

 “You don’t need to defend the fact that you’re half evil, y/n.” He laughed, throwing his head back, “I’m not going to fire you.”

 “You don’t get to decide that,” you winked, “I technically work for Andrew.”

 He gasped, his face immediately serious, as he pretended to be offended, “Ouch.”

 “Shush,” you nudged his shoulder, “You thought I was a fan – I’m glad you don’t control my paycheck.”

 “Hey,” he groaned, “I thought we were over that.”

 You laughed, “We are, doesn’t change the fact that Andrew treats me better.”

 “I’m letting you watch Harry Potter with me!”

 “You’re insulting my house!” Your laughter was growing, and soon it was getting hard to breath, you were practically hiccupping as you tried to contain your breaths.

 It took you a minute to realize that Shawn was no longer laughing but was instead watching you with a small smile on his face.

 You tried to contain your giggles, holding your stomach as it was beginning to cramp, “What?”

 “Nothing,” He shook his head, the grin never leaving his face, “Just good to have a friend I can talk to about Harry Potter.”

 You calmed down at his words, your mouth set in a small o, “I agree.”

 You turned back to the TV screen, hoping that he didn’t recognize the color in your cheeks, pretending to watch the movie.

 “Y/n?” He asked after a few seconds, making you hum in response.

 “Our next show is in Vancouver and I haven’t been skating in forever.”

 You nodded, looking at him, a bit confused as to where he was going with this, “And I really want to go – but Andrew isn’t going to let me without a reason, so – uh – could you please tell him you think a few shots of me skating would be beneficial …” He trailed off.

 You bit your lip, “Yeah – uh – Andrew told me it’d be good to get a few pictures of you enjoying the cities.”

 “Thank you,” his smile was so wide that you felt like you were going to melt, “You’re slowly becoming one of my favorite people on this tour.”

 You rolled your eyes with a smile; “I already said yes, you don’t need to butter me up more.”

 He laughed, “I’m not! It’s good to have someone my age around.”

 You were tempted to ask about Geoff since you hadn’t seen him around, but knew it was probably creepy to know about Shawn’s best friends.

 “You’re different than I expected,” you said instead.

 “Really?” He smiled, making you nod in response, “Yeah – to be completely honest I thought you’d never talk to me – that I’d just take pictures and then edit them alone, Mason was worried I wouldn’t make any friends.”

 “Mason?” He tilted his head.

 “My brother,” you smiled.

 “Oh,” he nodded, “Well I’m glad to be different than you thought.”

 You nodded, biting your lip as you turned back to face the TV, the intensity of his gaze hard for you to concentrate.

 “It’s 3am,” he mumbled, making you look up at the clock on the wall.

 “Should probably get to bed then,” you nodded.

 Shawn coughed, slowly removing his legs from your lap, and sitting up. You stood, stretching your back for a moment before looking up at him as he stood as well.

 “Night Shawn,” you smiled, taking your glass and placing it in the sink.

 “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he nodded, stretching his arms behind his back – his t-shirt riding up to uncover a small section of his lower stomach, your eyes immediately shutting as you turned away, so he wouldn’t catch the blush coating your cheeks.

 “See you,” you mumbled, disappearing behind the curtain before he could say anything else that could make your heart beat faster.

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