#feeling like a real failure of a motherfucker. did not want to tell ppl around me who could help me bc they're are so infantilizing rn

[onereallygoodlambonastick]

computer loading up disco esylium and then not at all

[ziracona]

How many people were tested just for others anyway? Gordon's wife and daughter, Daniel (the wiki says it was also for shoplifting but he was 16 so I call bs), literally everyone except Lynn and her husband in Saw III, and my memory past 3 is fuzzy but that one lying author's wife comes straight to mind. They weren't being tested for whatever John pretended his survival of the fittest policy was they were terrorized tortured and/or killed for basically nothing but the pain of the target.

Anon you’re so valid TuT 

ITS TRUE AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY IT!!! Also, I wrote this little part last, bc I just wanted to give fair warning that I went blind into a rage and wrote threethousand words about how much I hate John Kramer, full of very terrible language and spoilers for Saw 1-6, because I go that fucking feral at the sound of his name, and I can’t make everyone scroll past that so I’m putting most of it under the cut, but even if you decide you justifiably fear that rant and don’t read it, just know you are incredibly valid, and John can eat shit and die. Rant start:

John did that bullshit constantly! He would over and over put 1 (one) man he personally wanted to watch suffer on trial and sacrifice /scores/ of people for no reason. No trap, no way to escape, at someone else’s mercy completely or maybe with 0 chance even there bc JOHN KRAMER IS A SACK OF SHIT. 

He kills a house full of drug addicts in two, mostly just bc his wife worked w drug addicts and John hates drug addicts, and even though Amanda was in their literal exact same position she does jack shit to stop him and just watches people slowly have their organs deteriorate and start coughing up blood around her!! Including fucking Daniel! Who got an antidote but like, at the 11th hour. Do y’all even understand how biology works John and CO??? If you neutralize a poison after it has deteriorated parts of organs it might save your life but itS NOT A FUCKING HEALTH POTION. Poor Daniel Matthews probably will only live to be like forty tops if he’s super lucky because of that. And he did NOTHING!!! He had shoplifted bc he was going through a teen phase but he’s like sixteen! Everyone was dumb as shit as a teenager, and most people shoplift at some point in their life! It does not earn you slow deterioration of your organs! Poor kid not only watched a man burned to death in an oven, dude have his brains blown out, girl die of prolonged organ failure, and more shit, he himself /killed/ a man as a sixteen year old child to save Amanda Young because he’s got a good heart and is a good person, and that shit is awful! It’s traumatic to kill someone at any age, but as a teenager? And then he got knocked out by her and thrown in a tiny locked safe, tied up and gagged, and kept alive by an oxygen tank in an enclosed space after that massive trauma for or AT LEAST 24 HOURS ! He did NOTHING. It was all just a long-con sacrifice to get Eric Matthews to a specific location. Eric did some real shit, but god, even after everything Daniel did for Amanda and all John’s talk of innocents, neither of them ever even tell Eric he lived! Amanda just locks him up, fights, beats him to she thinks death, and then John keeps him locked up and isolated in a cell for months, only to make him choke himself slowly in a test he doesn’t actually get to participate in to keep a friend from being electrocuted. It’s all kinds of fucked.

Even Jeff did nothing worse than be depressed and obsessive and unavailable to his kid, all Lynn did was have a boyfriend after she and he separated (and tbh the only reason John took her was bc he wanted a doctor and hated her for being one of the docs who told him he had cancer bc John is a pettyass hypocritical stupid sack of shit!) I’m VIBRATING with hatred. Lynn was just a pawn in Amanda’s test! It never mattered if she kept John alive! It only mattered if Amanda decided to fucking shoot her!!! She did her task and died and JOHN KNEW THERE WAS A HIGH PROBABILITY AMANDA WOULD KILL HER AND DID NOTHING TO STOP IT BC JOHN CARES ABOUT NO ONE BUT HIMSELF THE FUCKING WORTHLESS LITTLE WORM. 

And the other victims in 3 are a poor college student who ran over someone on accident and feels massive guilt already and served jail time for it who gets his fucking limbs and then head all twisted off while begging for his life because JOHN KRAMER IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND SO IS JEFF TBH. BUT NOT AS BIG OF ONE. The poor girl who is stung up naked in a freezer and sprayed repeatedly with water till she is encased in ice and dead literally just saw the hit and run and ran away bc she was scared!!! Not to mention Jeff’s other kid who gets kidnapped and locked up as collateral! Even if she’s not hurt that’s FUCKING TRAUMATIZING FOR A YOUNG CHILD. And Allison Kerry did nothing wrong! Amanda kills her in the Angel trap literally just bc she’s investigating them! When he targets a detective John’s always like “Ho ho he, I am putting you on trial bc you are obsessed with your work”  LIKE, BITCH NO SHE FUCKIN AINT SHE DOIN HER GODDAMN JOB AND U DON”T WANT TO GET CAUGHT YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH THAT JUST LOOKING AT YOUR FACE CAUSES ME TO PRODUCE SO MUCH EXCESS EPINEPHRINE I COULD BOTTLE IT AND SAVE IT FOR LATER. I swear to god, if I had a grenade and I was in the room trapped with a still breathing John Kramer, I would kill pull the pin and take us both! FUCK I would pull the pin and then french kiss the grenade as thanks for letting me see that sack of shit go right to hell!

I don’t remember all of four bc it was really terrible, so I don’t have a lot of thoughts there except woof, but there was a lot of bullshit. Like John’s lawyer who did nothing but try to talk to him about finances enough it pissed John off got kidnapped, won his first game, and then got kidnapped again BC THAT SHIT HEAD SURE NEVER KEEPS EVEN HIS OWN GODDAMNED WORD and was made pawn in the game and then shot bc he didn’t have a chance to save himsefl!!! 

In Saw one, also, again, Adam was never being tested. He was just a pawn too. It was Gordon who got to decide to kill him or not, and ADAM LIVED TO SIX OR WHENEVER THE FUCK THE TIME WAS AND JOHN STILL LEFT HIM TO DIE BECAUSE HE”S A HYPOCRITICAL PIECE OF SHIT!!!! And he’s not interesting enough for Johns MASSIVE brainshlong that obviously is so full of right ideas and enlightenment you MICROPENISEDtrulyIDIOTIC self-centered human garbage!  He only took Adam at all bc he was there! He said the reason was Adam was pathetic! ADAM WAS DOING HIS BEST YOU CRUSTY ASS RED ROBED TURTLE LOOKIN MOTHERFUCKER. He was a freelance photographer in New Jersey in his early 20s during an economic collapse, and still nice enough to be taking care of stray cats you FUCKING sack of dogshit! 

And Gordon? All he did was tell John he had cancer! He was cheating on his wife too, but like, the reason John picked him was that!!! HE THOUGHT!! GORDON SOUNDED TOO COLD WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE HAD CANCER I FUCKING HATE JOHN KRAMER SO MUCH. John Kramer really will see someone smile not as big a smile as he thought they should have given him and be like: “Yo, is anyone going to corkscrew their eyeballs off?” and not even wait for an answer. I fuuuuukning hate him. And that little shitface thought it was somehow chill to order someone else to kill Gordon’s wife and eight year old child who had done JACK SHIT wrong ever if Gordon wasn’t willing to brutally murder a kid in his early 20s who had done nothing wrong????! WHAT THE FUCK. Mr. KRamer.. QUICK QUESTION. WHAT. THE. FUCK. You self-righteous, self-centered, pretentious, pettyass, sadistic motherfucking goddamn worthless excuse for anything!

In five he’s finally dead so I can : ) once. BUT HE STILL FUCKS UP SHIT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. SO I’m STILL MAD. All the people Hoffman kills are ppl John told him to, so HE STILL MOTHERFUKIN RESPONSIBLE. In 5 it’s a bunch of people responsible kind of for deaths of people in a low-income neighborhood. One guy was paid to torch an abandoned building, and eight people died in the fire, but he didn’t know anyone was there and feels terrible. He thought it was vacant, it was just arson. Another is a journalist who found out about the arson, and didn’t break the story bc guy 1’s father bribed him. There’s a fire inspector who learned the truth and was bribed by the guy’s dad not to tell too. A city planner who was bribed into selling permits for the land. And Brit, who was the girl who paid for the arson, bc she wanted to make an apartment complex, and maybe actually knew about the 8 people and might have deserved some real payback–it’s unclear???? Regardless. I want to add that the cops had been investigating, had a strong case, and were about to arrest them and hold these people accountable in a legal manner, which John knew bc HOFFMAN WAS IN HIS POCKET, and John so hated the idea of them facing justice justice, he kidnapped them. The fire inspector got dragged into saw blades by her throat and torn apart, the journalist died to a nail bomb, and the city planner got electrocuted in a bathtub. The two who made it had their arms split down the middle up to the elbow to let enough blood out to save them.  I cannot. Just.

Anyway. In six, again at DEAD JOHN WHO WON”T QUIT FUCKING EVERYTHING UP’s request, a ‘game’ is played and William Easton (one of my fave protagonists bc he’s a piece of shit but damn if he didn’t have a real glow up in forty-five minutes) is thrown into a hell circuit. 

And so, undeservingly, is like, EVERYONE he fucking knows! His janitor Hank is first up. Target for…what was it? OHhhhhh right. He smokes. That was why. That makes so much sense john I’m sorry I doubted you PSYCH I CAN"T EVEN SAY IT AS A JOKE I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH JOHN QUICK Q? WHAT THE FUCK? oh wait it’s because your an ABSOLUTE BASTARD. You would think I would get desensitized but no. It just. It’s fuel on the flame of my rage.

William Easton and the janitor, Hank, are hooked into something that slowly tightens and crushes their ribs any time they take a breath, and whoever doesn’t die first gets to live, and poor goddamn Hank smoked so ofc he can’t outlast a healthy dude in his 30s and John crushes his ribs just to make William watch someone die. Then he makes William pick which of two people to save in trial 2. MEANING HE GODDAMN STRAIGHT UP KIDNAPPED THESE TWO TOTALLY FINE WITH EITHER DYING, IN FACT WITH THE SOUL PURPOSE BEING TO DIE bc who cares about them right John? You fucking pretentious self-righteous creep! I have a year of the Pig teddy bear I named after Peter Strahm JUST for the FUCKING satisfaction of knowing John would hate that bc he was so into year of the motherfucking pig. ANyway. Plot again. Poor file clerk at Williams firm and the poor secretary are the two targets, and literally they did jack shit!!! They work for shitty lawyers but all they do is clock in to a 9-5 and file shit!! They are literally just there to rub it in William’s face that insurance policies aren’t fair bc according to them, one of the humans is worth more than the other bc health and age, but uuuuh oohhh William the older one with health issues is p hard to kill face to face bc you know her and she has kids and the young healthy man in his early 20s family is dead and he doesn’t have friends which means according to John he is worth less bc JOHN DOES THINK YOU CAN CHOOSE BETWEEN LIVES and all of this is here just bc John somehow thought it would be fun to fucking WIN A GODDAMN “I’M RIGHT” ARGUMENT WITH A LAWYER at the expense of brutally hanging a human being with barbed wire!!! 

Sidebar–if John Kramer was a real human being, I would go yearly on a fucking pilgrimage to his grave just to SPIT on his stupid corpse. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. 

K so young man dies. Then test 3 his attorney dies too, I don’t know much about her, except she is just there to make William feel like shit and they were into each other, and she tries to kill William after he gets hurt trying to save her bc he has the key to her trap in his stomach or chest idr, but she doesn’t get the key in time and dies, and then test 4 he finds his associates strapped to a carousel with a shotgun that picks one at random and blows off their head, and has to let all but two of them get gunned down and choose which two not to kill. And again, they’re kind of shittyass lawyers, but uh. Yeah. To save two, he has to let this huge piece of metal rip through his hand, but William does it and destroys his hand to save the two he can, and suffers picking while they all beg him to pick them bc John wanted to see him suffer picking between human lives again because he’s a goddam self-centered stuck up jerk who vales human life less then admiring his ugly ass dick in the mirror every day and pretending he’s a member of Mensa, the evil utterly irredeemable sack of shit. Anyway, at the end, William has never had a chance to live or die at all! And John was literally just torturing him for fun and killed /all/ those people not even for a test for William but /solely/ to make him suffer bc human lives DON"T MATTER ONE FUCKING IOTA to JOHN SHITASS KRAMER. WHO JUST WANTED TO WIN. AN INTELLECTUAL ARGUMENT. POST-MORTEM. BECAUSE he’s THAT kind of shittyass, pretentious, sanctimonious, better than thou, always right, incapable of wrong, smartest fucking asshole in the room man!!! I bet he doesn’t ever wash his hands when he takes a piss! I KNOW IT! FUCK John Kramer! 

ANd OH! William gets killed by a kid who hates him bc he turned down their father’s insurance policy fraudulently, knowing he would die of an illness without the money. BC William was terrible. Which is /so/ great for that fucking teenager! Killing someone horribly with acid while you watch them die and their body be melted! And they beg you not to do it and apologize on the other side of bars, already beat to shit, and plead for forgiveness, and your mom begs you not to, and the dude’s sister sobs and begs you not to!!! SO GOOD! Way to go john you FUCKING CUNT, they definitely value their lives now you goddamn motherfucking souless sack of shit!

I-I don’t even have the energy to do the other Saw movies or go back over the other victims in Saw one WHO DID NOTHING WRONG. John just hated them!!! BC HIS WIFE KNEW THEM! In most cases! John just fucking hates drug addicts! OK u know what here’s the short version even if I can’t do them justice rn bc I’m pissed!!! One guy got sliced to death on razor wire for cutting when he was depressed bc John is a piece of shit, one got burned to death after walking on glass for hours bc John doesn’t believe in invisible illnesses and if you’re walking you must be healthy, oh yeah! And the fucking dude Amanda killed in her first trial was just a drug addict! Going to a recovery clinic! He never had a chance to live on his own bc the only choice was if Amanda would cut open his intestines and sift through him for a key while he was awake but too drugged to move or not, and she did! Didn’t even get to plead for his life! ANyway!!!! Fucking as far as I can tell all Zep did was work at the goddamn hospital! He WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE NICE TO JOHN and told other people he was a cool dude!!! He was just a janitor!!! WHAT THE FUCK???

I just. God. I hate everything about John Kramer. The way he talks makes me so LIVID I change color like a goddamned chameleon. He is so ready to argue his stupid shitty fucking ethics with anyone who breathes in a ten mile radius. Shithead John over here will strap you to a table and make you listen to him talk about how it’s not his fault he poisoned two people and gave them one antidote and a bunch of knives and one of them came out dead, and his hands are clean and people don’t value their lives so they should die while he watches eating fucking cereal I am just–I am so glad John has cancer? Like, the idea of Saw sans John having cancer is unbearable, because I am so afraid the writers would never let him die and we would never be free of the human cancer that is John. The only human being on the planet that has ever been able to make me root for the cancer. But boy in that one and only regard, John is special.

I hate him so much it is unbelievable. Like. I can’t even put it into words. THe pure, unbridled fury I feel when I hear John say, “D’oh ho ho, but I, with these two little handies of mine, hath never pulled the gun’s trigger! Got you there! Where is your science! Where is your god! I am no murderer! I heal people! By sawing off their faces! You just do not understand, oh poor unenlightened human that you are. May you be strapped to a machete car and blessed with my wisdom  😔” I absolutely lose control of 90% of normal human functionality, and all that I have left is righteous justice and bloodlust. It’s unbelievable.

Whichever one of you god-mode-brain peeps made that post saying Eric Matthews had the hardest test in the whole Saw franchise because he had to sit and listen to John Kramer talk for two hours was a GODDAMNED HERO and if you contact me and prove the tumblr account is yours I will paypal you ten dollars and a personalized note thanking you for the joy that gave me because I just really hate John Kramer that FUCKING MUCH. I would cut off my own toes to be able to have something to shove down John Kramer’s throat to make him stop. talking.

There are a lot of things in this world I hate bc I hate things that are unjust, but I hate absolutely nothing more in the universe than a villain who is a self-righteous, hypocritical asshole who won’t even admit that what they are doing is wrong and parades as the tragic genius hero despite knowing GODDAMN well that they are a petty, shitty, hypocritical, absolute fucking MONSTER with no redeemable qualities or capacity for love. And John Kramer is at least my second least favorite character in the history of ANYTHING. Maybe my first. I’m not even sure anymore! Nasty-ass, evil, pretentious, self-righteous, shortsighted, selfish, sadistic, voyeuristic, willfully ignorant, crusty ass useless soulless garbage little SHIT.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 09.10.17 lb

“SOMEHOW I MANAGED TO GET IT” - please shivaay, who do you think you’re kidding, we fully know you got this report and subverted the legal system the way you usually do; the time-tested and winning combination of bribery and threats.

what is anika even doing in the room rn? didn’t we see her storm out, as witnessed by pinky???? and now she’s back as if this is a continuation of that scene? kuch bhiii. 

look at these two huddling behind the couch like a coupleeee of idiot childrennnnn. MY IDIOT CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh no, can pinky hear his khusar pusar???? OUFF SHIVAAY WHY ARE YOU THE ABSOLUTE WORST AT THIS GAME?????????????

OMFG ANIKA SHUSHHHHHHHHHHHHH

greaaaaaaaaat time for hair to get stuck in his watch. 

OUFF THIS IS NOT A ROMANTIC MOMENT YAHAN JAAN PE BAN AAYI HAI AUR TUM LOGON KO O JAANA MOMENT SOOJ RAHA HAI

it’s not even her real hair anyway 🙄🙄🙄🙄

KABHI NA AANE WAALA POLITENESS ANIKA SE AAJ PHOOT PHOOT KE BAAHAR AA RAHI HAI RIGHT IN TIME TO GET THEM CAUGHT

lmaoooooooo the way he hit her on the head exasperatedly/affectionately. ugh these two are so adorable. 

omg she’s so cuteeeee. i can’tttt handeeee when she’s being this stinking cute. GODDAMNIT SHIVAAY, WIFE HER AGAIN. ONE MORE TIME. SHE DESERVES IT. 

hubs is talking about something else, but wife’s mind is all on the ROMANCE. 

“kyunki meri nayi nayi shaadi hui hai, isliye mujhe romance sooj raha hai.”

unsaid: ‘also, my husband just straight up abandoned me on the wedding night, so i’m horny af.’

“mujhe kisi mahapurush ne kaha tha... actually apne ghar pe woh om hai na, ussi ne kaha tha... ki sabar ka phal meetha hota hai.”

yeah let’s see how you like that concept when she cockblocks you the next time you’re in the mood. 

koiiiiiiii blushhhhh kar raha haiiiiii

um, where’s tanya???? is this while she went out to make her call to her bairi piya, bada bedardi (henceforth known as BPBB)???

LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT THISSSSSSS STUPIDDDD MILLLLLLLLL BS WE HAVE A MILLION OTHER PROBLEMS LIKE ABHAY BEING WEIRD AND GAURI HAVING LEFT AND RUDRA HAVING GONE FULL ON BATSHIT INSANE

lol ok anika you’re the worsttttt at this. i relate with shivaay’s parde ke peeche waala frustration. 

why do punjabis seem to take getting sick as a personal offence like it’s some kinda moral failing on their part? we all have immune systems that fail us occasionally. no shame in that! 

JHOOOOTI REPORTTTTTTT. OUFF BILLU KAHIN SE REPORT UTHA LEE AAYA HAI AUR WOH BHI FARZIII

tanya doesn’t like it when the tables are turned on her.

lol billu’s going to get one whole generation of oberois arrested. 

OOOOH BHAVYA’S GONNA KICK ABHAY’S ASS. YOU GO GIRL!

like he cute and all, but he diiiiiiiiiiiirty. i’m fully on my girl’s side.  

look at this insouciant motherfucker. so dapper. much stylish. wow. 

BITCH DON’T TRY TO PLAY BHAVYA PRATAP RATHORE. 

oh damnnnnn, abhayyyy’s gooood. 

damn, abhay and bhavya kiiiiiiiiiiiinda make a cute pair? already more chemistry in this takraar than any scene she’s had with rudra.

abhay’s maniccccc eyed look is taking some of the cute sheen off him. 

bromance toh suna tha, lekin this boy has a serious case of brobsession. 

song dedication from gauri kumari sssarma to omkara singh oberoi: 

no she’s not gonna pick up. stop being a pain in her ass. 

ooooooooooh shivaay’s here. he’s going to find out (eventually) what this fucker did to his little chiraiyya and he’s NOT. GOING. TO. BE. HAPPY. 

LOOK AT THIS FUCKER: 

“haan bilkul! sab theek! i didn’t call my wife a philandering adultering whore and make her dump me or anything ahahaha ohgodimdeadhesgonnakillmewhenhefindsout”

yeah you best convince him everything’s fine, awfulkara singh oberoi. 

pyaar??? shivaay don’t waste your breath, this fucker doesn’t know shit about pyaar. 

THE DISAPPOINMENT AND JUDGINESS IN SHIVAAY’S EYES AT OMKARA. I AM LIVVVVVVVVING FOR IT. YAS BADE BHAIYYA. YOU REP YOUR CHIRRAIYA. 

omkara you fucking idiot did you not listen to her when she said she went for those classes on recommendation from shivaay? ugh. men. 

ok shivaay, if YOU knew that omkara didn’t care, they why did you put her in the classes in the first place? 

ok i know why you did but... whatever. ab gade murde kyun ukhaadna. 

“AS A HUSBAND, YOU FAILED!”

YAAAAAAAAAS SHIVAAAAAAY, READ HIM THE RIOT ACT FUCK HIM UP, THROW SOME PUNCHES EVEN!!!!! 

also you know you fucked up maaaaajorly when SHIVAAY of all ppl says that you are a failure of a husband in bold italics underlined voice. 

“koi nahi. galtiyaan sudhaari bhi jaa sakti hai.”

unsaid: ‘yeah like, look at anika and me! we’re in love now! and you didn’t even threaten to blow up her mom or anything! this is totes fixable, bro!’

“GO AND GET YOUR WIFE BACK. NOW. OR IMMA BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL. COZ I HONESTLY LOVE HER MORE THAN I LOVE YOU.”

lmaooooo please om, like you and rudra have everrrrr been helpful in such matters. shivaay’s been handling this shit alone since day 1. and now he has anika. you losers would just get in their way and slow them down.

time for dil boley oberoi part two??????? 

UGH I DON’T WANT HER TO TAKE YOU BACK

ok why are all these asshole desis juding bhavya? 

whut??? gaddaaar? how? 

lmao what nonsense. an officer of the bhavya’s stature doesn’t need to live in someone’s house as a paying guest. she’s an ACP. she’d be given her own (rent free) quarters as part of her job benefits. 

god i hate judgey desi community sooooo fucking much. 

fuckkkkk abhay and rudraaaaaa soooo much. ugh. I HATE SUCH CREEPY BRO CODE FUCKERS. 

EVERY TIME ABHAY SAYS “APNE BHAIYYON KE LIYE MAIN... KUCHHHHHH BHI KAR SAKTA HOON... KUCHHHHHHH BHI”, I LOSE A YEAR OFF MY LIFESPAN 

omg you guys, he does the phone spinning thing like shivaaaaaaay. WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEANNNNNNN?!!?!?!? 

if shivaay was a little older, i’d be willing to put money on the fact that he was shivaay’s secret son or something

ok not gonna lie, heart twinged a little to see that asshole singh oberoi has picked up and brought those threee pieces of the card and reads it over and over. 

DETERMINED HAIR FLICK. 

damnnnn son, blue is yourrrrrr colour. 

it’s that time of the day when i send up thanks to the lord for sending this fine fine specimen of manliness down to bless us all. 

“aaj aisa achaanak kya ho gaya jo shivaay ne humein ek saath bulaaya hai??”

LMAO WHAT DO YOU MEAN??????? SHIVAAY CALLS THESE FAMILY MEETINGS EVERY THREE DAYS

what a way to make an entranceeeeeeee

judgey look of judging: ‘what the fuck did you old motherfuckers doooo 25years ago??? i can’t smash with my wife thanks to this fuckery. i’ve had a raging case of blue balls for over 6 months now.’

WHY IS HE DOING THIS IN THE FUCKING LIVINGGGG ROOOM, LIKE TANYA IS RIGGGGHT AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE

look more shadyyyyy, jhanvi. 

sound more shadyyyy, shakti.

lol tej and pinkyyyy’s totally casual shrugs. so believable. 

yeh ladka toh inko jail bhijwaaake hi maanega. and i for one, AM THRILLED. THESE FUCKERS HAD IT COMING. 

lol pinky v/s dadi face drama. 

oh wow, they actually remembered that whole custom of “the oberoi men fast too” from last year and are keepin it consistent this year! 

WHUT? DADI REMEMBERING THERE’S A DOOSRI BAHU GAURI IN THIS HOUSE AS WELL? FUCK ME SIDEWAYS! 

tanya’s here to demand some sargiiiii as well. girl, go ask your bairi piya’s mummmy. 

lmaoooooooo even pinky is likeeee WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

LOLOLOL PINKY’S EYEROLL

... isn’t this the bathroom???? why is she just... strolling in so casually??? WHY DIDN’T HE LOCK THE DOOR????

LMAO HER CACKLE. I AM SCREAMING. 

snort, the buttons are on allllll wrong. 

haaaaye what a sharmeeeela billuuuu. he can’t deal with wife’s total lack of boundaries and sharam. 

I AM LIVING FOR ANIKA INTIMIDATING HIM VIA TEASING

my suspicions are confirmed. hubs has moved into this guest room with wife. 

i can’t stop laughing at that one biggggg loop the shirt is making. 

“aap bhi toh mere hi hai na?” awwwwwwwwww!

he’s speechless from the sweetness! so cute! 

“baahar operation theater ki tarah laal batti thodi hai” hahahahahaha

I AM TRULY LIVINGGGGGGGGGG FOR ANIKA TEASING THE FUCK OUTTA SHY SINGH OBEROI 

“mujhe pata nahi tha ki mera aap pe AISA asar hota hai” - pointed look downwards. OMFGGGGGGGGGGG

“upar. neeche nahi dekh rahi, upar.” LOLOLOL

SHE’S GONNA UNBUTTON HIS SHIRT AND FIX IT FOR HIM!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?! LORD ABOVE I’M NOT READY FOR THIS OH GOD I’M NOT 

anika’s recovered admirably and is chattering away to a dozen but husband is paralyzed with lust and shock. mostly mind-numbing lust though. 

lmao she actually had to SHAKE him outta ittttt. 

OMGGGGG IS HE ACTUALLY SCREAMING FOR KHANNA’S HELP. IN THE BATHROOM. TO COME SAVE HIM FROM FEELING HORNY FOR HIS WIFE.

MATLAB.... AT THIS POINT, JUST TELL ME WHAT’S *NOT* IN KHANNA’S JOB PROFILE COZ THAT’LL BE A SMALLER LIST. 

“merry karwa chauth! karwa chauth... mubarak?”

how very secular of you, shivaay. 

oh no. challllllllllenge. underestimating of fasting abilities. shivaaaay you’re gonna regret this. 

what even is your face, you fucking idiot???

both you fuckers are gonna fast and you know it. 

OUFF TANYA GIVE A MAN A MOMENT OF PEACE IN THE BATHROOM AT LEAST! 

lmaooooooooooooooo his impression of talking on the phone. 

“DON’T LOOK DOWN!” 

how can one not look down when you’re shoving your phone in your pants like that? 

god shivaay, you’re acting sooooooooo shaaady. you’re so terrible at this. 

what? why was that tub fullllll of water when everyone’s bathed and done for the day???? 

thank god for this mysterious caller forever saving their asses. 

ok shivaay calm the fuck down, i’ve never seen you panic like this the million times you shoved her into THE POOL?????????

“MAIN DALOONGA UNGLI!!!!!!”

omfg this man has lost it. caring ki bhi ek hadh hoti hai. 

“I’M PUTTING YOU IN A HEADLOCK BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

pft silly anika, ceiling pe spiderman chipakta hai, superman nahi.

thanks for confirmation and backup, shivaay.

“kyunki tumhari andar meri jaan hai.”

wife is not leaving any mauka to do awwwww and tease husband today. 

yup this def. looks like abhay who’s tanya’s BPBB to me.

tanya’s reached the end of her rope and is like fuck your mission. i like. you tell him girl!!!!! 

“yeh jo vrat rakha hai lambi umar ke liye, yeh lambi umar qaidddd na ban jaaye” 

lmaoooooooo pinkyyyy

this is soooo shivaay’s plan to get the truth outta the buddhelog, and lmao tej face be like YEH LADKA TOH MARWAA KAR HI CHODEGAAA

lol this poor servant gets yelled at every time she comes with fooood

why isn’t tanya calling pinky MUMMMMYYYYYYYYJIIIII

arre, shivaay doesn’t consider her his wife acc. to the drama. she still is in the house as shivaay’s wife??? why would she not fast?? 

OMFG THIS FUCKER TAKING TANYA’S SIDE. 

“billu? kya chal raha hai tum dono ke beech mein???” “kuuuuuuuch bhi nahi??? aur vrat toh bilkul bhi nahi!”

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.

“waaah kya khushboo hai! khushboo se yaad aaya mera conference call hai!”

snort. fuckingggg idiot. 

omg shivaay’s actually feeding some servant HAATH SE. this man has fucking lost it. 

also poor khanna has been tarsofying for such a display of affection from his shivaay sirrrr. why isn’t he getting any love? bechaaara. 

GAURI’S HOMEEEE! 

ughhhhhh this MAAAAAAAAAA is so irritating. 

this pooor girlllllllll, lying through her teeeeth to her cluelessss mom. *sighs and holds gauri forever, while cussing out omkara’s existence and wishing the plagues of egypt upon him*

anika, you’re FASTING. how do you have so muchhhhh energy to be snoopinggggg? i don’t have energy for basic life functions even on a full stomach. 

also, could please stop ruining the dude’s piss poor attempts at surprises (or in this case, falling into a trap that he’s setting for you.)

[survivorindia]

Playing with Jordan Pines is like playing with knives- Sarah (Episode 5)

I'm sorry Bernel had to leave like that and I really hope everything's okay with him, but in a way, it may very well be a secret savior. Not enough talking was done up until that point so I have no idea who would've left - Robin assured me she didn't want Lexi or I gone and that OG whatever the hell our tribe name was should stick together, and Julia/Alex and I were on call for the challenge and agreed we didn't want any of us to go since we're arguably the most active and we certainly helped the most with the movie, but even then... I can't say my social game is top notch. I'm simply not built to be a social player, I lack all the skills necessary. But luckily some people on here ain't active enough that I can cover up my own discrepancies with their lack of appearance. There's other fish to fry yet, and hopefully I can live to see the jury...

W'elp, the lacklusterishness has come back to bite me. I've gotta approach everyone I talk to, and the two people I don't approach constantly throw my name out. The tribe's turning like eggs on a hot summer day. That's no bueno, no bueno at all...

Luckily, Alex and Julia are hopefully going to help me 'ere. They're attempting to convince them to split the votes on probs Jaiden and I, and then we strike. We can flip this - failure's not an option, because failure means my head on the guillotine. No second chances.

Jaiden's down for rocks, it seems, if it comes down to it. Robin's promised to not vote me. So I think I should be able to live here... I hope so... I'm too young to die.

I do think enough people will vote dom out, and than again I don't because the plan is highkey messy. Like there is literally a 4/4 split in our tribe as of now. It's me, alex, jaiden, and Johnny on the best side, and the other is the losers. But if we lie to them correctly we can get them to split their votes and than we vote the majoirty with hope the vote turns out as 4-2-2

I'm absolutely freaking out right about now. This vote is terrifiying me and I don't want to leave. Like I don't know what is going to happen like this is all going to be so insane. I'm playing with people who could, or could not be messy as hell. Like I need some sort of security, and when I don't feel grounded I get worried. And that is all because I'm a Taurus which is down to Earth, and I dont feel comfortable when I don't feel like I'm in a secure situation, or know what will happen. And right now I CANNOT let my nerves get the best of me, I won't let it happen. I just want to be able to say I made TS Jury, and even more my next goal if I made the jury would to be to take it to the end of this game with Sarah. Because that would be the best situation to be put in because I would feel like I did something good and memorable in this game. And I just don't want to keep having my chances jeopardized. Like I never thought this game was going to be THAT HARD. Like I was booted very early in Bangladesh and I cannot LET that happen again. I just want to do good. And I have no idea if I can trust going to rocks, I will be so terrifiyed of being eliminated, and that would suck. I just don't know what to do im at my mental point where Jazmine is about to come out and we all know that does not need to happen at all.

: I'm legit so sick of this tribe what the hell. So we lost the first challenge which would have been a super easy challenge to win if people actually participated and were more hands on, than we loose this and it could have been executed better by other tribe members if they did the challenge more diligently. And my score of 7 is an overall average score so that shows that I still want to be here. Unlike these lazy idiots who jeopardize my game every three days because their lazy asses can't put forth 30 mins of their time tops to actually try in a challenge. This is tumblr survivor bitches, so maybe you should get your shit together instead of me having to suffer because most of you are lazy messes. And that goes to dom, jaiden, Robin, and Lexi. Fuck you guys right now I'm so mad. 

So we won the challenge which is nice. I think I am in a decent spot on this tribe tbh due to us having an innactive player and me being pretty decently connected to people. I'm sort of in a few alliances though we don't really have any chats, like I'm in an alliance with Sarah and Julia and I'm in a returnee alliance on our tribe of Me, Sarah, Kendall, Gavin and Ashley. I like to think I am going to be in a decent spot going forward. We haven't had to go to tribal on this tribe but Whitney sort of disappeared so I am sure if we lose she would be the one to go 100%. I think things are good right now.

I guess we are going to rocks tonight. I don't know what to say. Sorry Dom but you won't speak to me about this. I told you. I hope I get rocked out tonight. For once, I didn't want to make a big move. If Dom plays his idol and exposes my betrayal, then at least I can say that I knew this was coming.

http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/mreidjr/78051217/7913/7913_900.gif So I just went on call with Dom. And you know what he told me? He said that Sarah and Julia have told him everything I said about him. From how I felt like he was too much, how I didn't like him at all, how I wanted to use him to get further in the game. All that shit. That's why I voted for him, according to them. It's real funny because for a while, I did believe those things to be true. Sarah was the first person I talked to about all that. I thought she was my friend, I really did. But I see why she's on the villains tribe, because she's a heartless, cold-blooded viper. The entire Dom vote came as a result of her and Julia wanting him gone. Certainly, I didn't help with them coming to that decision, but it's become evident to me that this is the person everyone parades around and claims to be best friends with. We talk about that Bangladesh final tribal where Sarah cries over how Eddie betrayed her so badly, but then here she is, acting like a complete hypocrite. She can say that these two situations are not the same, which they are not, but the knife she plunged into my back burns the same. I can't say that I didn't see this coming. I fucked up, so it makes sense why everything spilled out in front of me on the dirt floor. Now I have to work on making people like me again, because I don't think they'll trust me for a while. We can say that I have a long road ahead before I can regain their trust, but the truth is that I have a much steeper path to the finish than before. They might not ever trust me, so I need to give them a reason to understand me. I don't know how, but I'll try. I'll take the knife that was firmly planted in my back and return it to its rightful owner one day. I did these things for her, and while she was always on my hit list, no matter that she was low, I think she's found her way to the top. Karma is a bitch, and so is she. Maybe I won't win this fight, but I think I'll die trying, and I'm at peace with that.

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ @ Johnny potentially going home. If he doesn't, well...┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

Ok so more happened after that video, so i went on call with julia and we talked about how she thinks jaiden doesnt want to work with her and wants to lowkey work with dom but then jaiden called me, and SPILLED TEA THAT DOM HAS THE IDOL ...SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER And he still wants dom out so i lowkey forced jaiden on julia, alex and johnny and thats half their tribe..So then they need one more person. But they came up with amazing idea to scare the other side...dom,ruben,lexi and robin that johnny has the idol bc all those 4 ppl want to vote him out...SO IF THOSE 4 SPLIT THE VOTE BC THEYRE SCARED OF AN IDOL THEN THEY WOULD BE MAJORITY AND HONESTLY IM HERE FOR IT. I WANT DOM GONE AND I WANT TO WORK WITHJOHNNY, JULIA, JAIDEN AND ALEX IN MERGE OR COME SWAP SO BAD !!! im so nervous for them but excited at the same time :~) also julia and i came up with a name for just us and u can now call us Salia ....ISNT THAT CUTE FUCKCKODKSJF

So as far as my tribe goes: From what I know, Jordan has the idol. In addition to that, Dom also has the idol. I have supposed to not tell anyone about what Jordan tells me. Everything I know goes straight to Alex or to Ashley to ensure that those bonds stay solid. As of now, I've been trying to keep relations open with everyone on my tribe, especially Liam because keeping Liam safe premerge shows Johnny post merge that I'm trustworthy. So what I've told Liam is that Jordan and a few others have the idea of a returnees alliance and that he might be on the chopping block, though I reassured him that is not the reality of the matter. If he seems to be going home, I am open to flipping against the returnees. So that's where I stand right now, I have my Ashley relationship which branches out to Casey. I have my Liam relationship which branches out to Johnny. I have my Jordan Pines relationship which branches out to Sarah and Dom. So all in all, I feel safe on my tribe. And I believe that Whitney will be the first to go if we head to tribal.

Other Tribe Thoughts: So my main ally in this game is Alex, I trust him more than anybody else. What I need to be weary of is that he has a great social game which may prove to be an issue for my game further down the line. In the short term, I still want to work in his best interest which tend to align with my best interest. Because of that, I've continued to talk to him, despite being on different tribes. I told Alex as soon as I found out about Dom's idol. He's now looking closely at who Dom is aligned with as we move closely towards this tribal. The issue is is that Dom seems to be close with Jaiden and Ruben. With Ruben dating Lexi, and that right there is 4 people. So it doesn't look like Dom will go home unless Alex can pull a fast one on Dom. I plan to now get on a call with Alex, to find out what is going on presently in the Parvati tribe, but Dom going home is the best case scenario for me for the following reasons Dom is close with Jordan Dom is close with Jaiden Jaiden and Jordan have one less ally, and one more friend in me to depend on and that helps me from a social standpoint. Furthermore, any blood falls on Alex's hands and not minds since he will be exectuing the final action. lastly we get rid of an idol. that could hurt me down the line.

Alex is going for the jugular this round. I hope Johnny stays... hasta la vista Dom ;) Also, PINES, you're a scary player. Please implode sooner rather than later ^__^

LITERALLY I'M ON TRIBAL CALL RIGHT NOW. I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO BE VOTED OUT. DOM TOLD ME HE DIDNT KNOW ABOUT THE VOTE, RUBEN TOLD ME HE TOLD DOM ABOUT THE VOTE. REGAN SAID SHE ALREADY HAD THE VOTES WHICH MEANS DOM IS A LIAR AND SO IS RUBEN IF I'M OUT I WILL COMMIT

So real life has gotten in the way and I’m a ball of depression so I have no idea where I left off. Therefore, I will recap the first two tribals in this confessional. Aidan left after voting me which was not surprising since he was acting suspicious and I heard Monte was planning on keeping him and ridding the tribe of me after that. I had thrown him a lifeline by telling him the group wanted him out and I would vote with him so if he had just brought himself, Monte and I together that would be a tie at least and I believe I could have possibly gotten Ruben to vote with me. Alas, he did not do that and lied to me while getting voted out unanimously. Steven was rocked out on the other newbie tribe which was crazy for a first tribal? No idea whatsoever of what’s happening over there so let’s move on. If I keep showing up for challenges then I believe that I could make it through a little while longer until a swap where I can hope they target bigger threats and I can hide. Still no luck on finding that idol; the grid is huge but someone could possibly have it already?

Monte left unanimously which was a relief and from the other villains tribe, Ace got the boot which I have no opinion on since it was unanimous and I have no clue as to who he is. Here I am, slaving away, trying to make sure our tribe does not go to tribal by doing the challenge all by myself. I have enough votes for a tie so why do I care at all if Casey does not care to stay, we shall never know. Well I do know, but that takes away from my needed dramatic statement. I just don’t care to lose my mind once more at a tribal. The challenge came down to who submitted quickly and I submitted at the perfect time and won us the challenge. The returnee villains were fuming but if they had an issue with the way it was going to be submitted then they had more than enough time to voice their concerns which they did not until they had lost. I can finally relax for once and just watch as others get taken out.

Nicole got the boot which is a bit unfortunate as I believe I could have worked with her as we are in another game together. Although, she never responds to any messages at times as I found out from that other game which makes me uneasy when I am trying to decipher if she is with me or against me. She came off as a brat to the other returnee villains is what I was told but I did not pay close enough attention to that situation to have an opinion. ~~~Swap time~~~ We have 4 newbies against 5 returnees and 4 villains against 5 heroes so as you can probably do the math, I, Lexi, am in minority, no matter which way you spin it. Jordan came up to me quickly and proposed that the villains stick together and I am all "HELL YEAH! That idea rocks!" but on the inside, I'm more of a "well dude, I would practically align with Satan himself at this point to keep myself safe".

t’s me Lexi hi, just dropping by to say I can feel myself losing my sanity day by day. I still hate most of these people which I cannot place my finger on as to why? A large possibility due to myself hating life right now I suppose. They are a-okay folks; I just needed a dramatic statement to start this off since it's been relatively boring on our tribe. Some speak, some don't, some are playing quite hard... by some I only mean Jordan on that last one. I'll keep him close as I can to push in front of me as a nice shield for later on, but it is hard to trust the guy as I believe him to be close with a number of other people. I love this challenge we had, it's cute and doesn't consume too much time. We won and I will most likely not be in an alliance chat still so here's to hoping for another swap or an early merge. I want to blow up and do something fun but is it too early? Stay tuned

alright so my schedule's getting cleared up. i've got more time and been talking to the few people I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to. it looks like lexi and ruben aren't targets for this tribal. i'm surprised honestly because back in nayak they felt very threatened by their relationships. it makes me feel a little skeptical that there might be some major scheming going on that im not aware of. but i feel fairly confident that i'll be safe as well as lexi and ruben. i've talked to everyone on the tribe and no one has brought them up. the vote is supposed to be split with johnny and jaiden but since johnny has openly targeted and gone to rocks to get rid of lexi, we've decided it's better for johnny to leave. we might upset a few people but at that point we'll be down to 7. lexi, ruben, and i trust each other a lot so i don't see any of us targeting each other. i think either ruben or dom could be with us so im not too worried about any effects this tribal will have.    

Ok so i stopped guessing for the idol because Dom told Ruben he already has it so thats fine. Dom,Johnny,Alex dont talk to me so yikes but dom is close to ruben so i dont really care all that much. Alex came to ruben and said he wants boys to vote jaiden and girl to vote johnny. Which im voting johnny either way but so is ruben and dom so we should be sending johnny out the door which obviously i would love since he didnt have the balls to talk to me after all that rocks shit went down. Alex hasnt even talked to me about the plan so like ok? I dont trust him, he keeps telling ruben WE HAVE TO SPLIT but like youre probably just trying to save johnnys ass and send jaiden home. I mean who knows what Julia,Johnny and Alex are trying to plan. All i know is im voting johnny and so should robin,ruben,dom, and jaiden. Julia says she is but like who knows. Its just weird to me that johnny isnt trying to scramble to anyone.