#feels so surreal to remember i used to write every day whoops
enstaries · 6 years
Aaahh im so happy u r back!!! I practically breathe off this account aha :))
hadsfjkg then you’ve been holding your breath for way too long :’)) i have about two weeks of study break ahead, so i’ll try to get back into writing as much as possible! 
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sunqyu · 3 years
~ First kiss with Treasure pt. 2  (Asahi, Yedam, Doyoung, Haruto, Jeongwoo and Junghwan)
Request: “ First kiss with treasure? (reaction something like that) love your blog, you ARE the cutie 💞💞 “ - Anon
Click heeere for pt 1 with the other members. Hope you like it! :D (also someone stop me, they’re getting longer each time) (also someone stop me from calling them beans) (just stop me in general, I guess hehehh) - Nova
so many moments where he wanted to do it
but couldn’t get himself to
the moment you left after another great date that should’ve ended with a kiss he’d sigh
‘next time... yes, next time.’
you two were sitting on a parkbench, taking a break from walking home
by now you were giving pretty clear hints that it was okay for him to kiss you
making prolonged eyecontact and looking at his lips
it started to become quite obvious
and he could definitely tell that there was some type of tension in the air
but who knows maybe he just had something on his face y’know? he could never be 100% sure
he kept thinking about it without taking action
looking back at you with his heart racing
which was a completely new feeling to him
silently hyping himself up he’d scoot closer to you, not breaking eyecontact
is this it? is he going for it?
then you hear people walking towards you and he quickly looks forward again
damn it
however he couldn’t ignore your audible sigh
later on you’d be walking again, strolling through some grass since you thought it would be fun to go off path
you were quickly surrounded by tall trees, lifting your feet up high with every step so you wouldn’t stumble over fallen branches
holding onto each others arms, soft laughs as you made your way through the forest
he felt a lot more at ease now that you two were away from the more crowded places
as you stopped for a moment, looking up and around you at the autumn colors, he’d speak up
‘this seems like a nicer place anyway- doesn’t it?’
you looked at him confused, already forgotten about the earlier moment
even though he was sure he was gonna go for it now, he’d still hesitate
but only for a second before leaning forward
the kiss was quick, simple but heartwarming
it made him think, why was this so scary to him before?
however the next time he’d want to kiss you the butterflies would be right back
only after a few kisses would it feel more natural
but he’s very willing to get used to it, especially after seeing you smile each time
romantic bean
he’s just the sweetest so every moment with him feels so special and surreal
even something as simple as having a quick lunch together or studying in the same room
you both went to different schools but since he wanted to spend more time with you he suggested studying in a bookstore that doubled as a café
it was quiet that day since the exams weren’t really near yet
you both sat at the corner of an old table, you writing out math equations while he was working on an essay on his laptop
the soft ticking on his keyboard and your scribbling were the only things heard in the calm corner of the bookstore
the ticking stopped
you kept writing
it wasn’t until a few seconds later when you noticed he still hadn’t continued typing
looking up, wondering if he was stuck, you were greeted by his warm gaze
what you hadn’t noticed was that he had been looking at you ever since he lost focus
paying attention to how your nose scrunched up when you reached a difficult question
or how you were so delicate when you typed something into your calculator, as if you didn’t want to ruin the calm silence
he never planned on falling in love with his best friend
but here you were, looking almost ethereal in your comfy study-outfit
he smiled when you finally looked up
‘How are the math questions going?’ he muttered in a whisper
‘Pretty good- how’s your essay?’ you whispered back
you weren’t sure why you were whispering
being the only two there except for the barista who was somewhere at front
‘Not great- I’m trying to find a nice way to go from one subject to the next but it’s not flowing well.’
you chuckled, knowing fully well the essay was bomb and Yedam’s inner perfectionist was the only one not satisfied
‘I bet it’s great.’ you muttered, whispering even more quietly than before as if you were sharing a secret
‘You think so?’ he chuckled back, which had been the loudest sound so far but still only audible to you
he watched you nod before looking at your notebook again
a sparkle of confidence lit up his mind as he leaned towards you
lifting your chin back up again with the side of is index-finger
before you knew it you felt his lips against yours
a new but for some reason still familiar sensation
you melted against him, staying there a little longer to remember the feeling
‘Thank you-’ he breathed against your lips with a slight smile
before pulling back and looking at his laptop again
his ears bright red as his eyes went up to you one more time
smiling brightly when he saw you do the same
there have actually already been many attempts
some of which you’re aware of
like the time he was leaning in when you were watching Toy Story in his room but then Jihoon walked in to tell you two about something Junkyu just did
and some of which you’re not aware of
like the time he was hyping himself up to just go for it but when he made eyecontact you said he had disco-sprinkles on his nose from the ice cream he was eating
it has been a struggle
but nonetheless he still enjoys every minute with you and doesn’t feel very pressured
it’ll happen when the time is right
one night you were hanging out in the practice room
the other boys had left already but Doyoung was practicing a solo choreo he had been working on
he loved when you kept him company
the ‘late night crazies’, as you two called it, set in quite quickly though
giggles all over the place as you danced and screamed along to all kinds of songs
he’d teach you choreos of which he tried to convince you they were legit
when really he just made the both of you look silly on purpose
the night was filled with laughter and neither of you realized how late it actually was
you’d go from popping to cha-cha-cha to a dance Doyoung swore was called ‘the transformer’ where you had your backs together with your arms intertwined
your legs all of a sudden in the air as he bent over, holding you on his back
you were crying from laughing so hard as he twirled you around the practice room like that 
while loudly adding his own improvised sound effects to the Skrillex-song that was playing
when he put you down all you could do was roll on the floor grabbing your stomach from laughing so hard
he’d lay down on the floor next to you, staring at the ceiling together as you’d catch your breath
his hand reached for yours, intertwining your fingers and giving a gentle squeeze which made you turn your head to look at him
he continued looking up, visible trying not to smile, corners of his mouth curling up and down quickly
‘If you continue staring at me like that I may actually have to kiss you this time.’
you rolled on your side and inched closer, widening your eyes to exaggerate your staring
he chuckled ‘Alright then-’ and quickly turned to face you
grabbing your cheek with his free hand
firmly pressing his lips against yours
the kiss softened as it went on
both of your relaxing even though you were on the hard floor
‘Freaking finally-’ he muttered before kissing you once more
might need a liiittle encouragement
or just something that clearly lets him know you wouldn’t mind
or better yet, that you can’t wait
something along the lines of a joke or a bet
it builds up over a few dates as your hints become more obvious
but every time you’re blunt about it he would block up completely and get shy
this one time you were playing mario kart and he joked about how he’s the best mario kart player in the world and you’ll never beat him
you ask him what his prize should be if he wins
he asks for something silly like you having to dance the choreo of I Love You in the middle of a busy street before asking you the same
he definitely did not expect you to ask for a kiss
his ears stay bright red through the entire race, barely focusing with his heart racing more than his character as he’s clearly trying to lose
you decide not to tease him about it this time, knowing very well that it would work against you
oh, look at that. he lost. wow.
‘Hehe- whoops.’
audible gulp
without even saying anything you turn to him, trying not to grin too brightly
his heart still skips a beat and in panic he leans in aaaand-
kisses you on the cheek
and regrets it right away
damn it
you’d still smile because even though you really wanted a kiss, you also don’t want to rush him
a couple of games later you get hungry and order food
still thinking about earlier and how he should’ve just went for it, he gets an idea
crumbling up a piecer of paper the boxes with food were wrapped in
‘Bet I can throw this in the trashcan from here?’
‘Alright, what are we betting on?’ you hum in an amused tone
‘If I make it, you have to kiss me. If I don’t, I have to kiss you.’
did he really just say that out loud so confidently
proud of himself already
but it quickly fades away as he realizes what this means
you beam and nod at him
he flicks the ball of paper at the trashcan across the room
it bounces on the edge
both of you inhale sharply
before it lands next to the trashcan
he can feel the blood rushing to his face once again and before you can boast about winning the bet
his hands have already grabbed your face, moving quickly so he doesn’t have time to get shy again
a little clumsily he kisses you
his confidence sets back in through his pride
‘I guess we both won this one.’
has it all planned out
you better be ready
he’s gonna rock your world
at least, that’s what he thinks
asked the olders guys for advice
but also replied ‘Ohh- ofcourse, yea I know that.’ to everything they say
still mentally taking notes
and actually written notes later on so he doesn’t forget
he had this really nice place in mind where there’s a graffiti wall but also loads of flowers
it’s the back wall of an old museum next to a park 
on the wall there’s a graffiti-piece that celebrates love where couples write their names with permanent marker
he’s so hyped
the date starts of in the actual museum
his plan was to make you see his artistic side by explaining paintings
eventually you just have a blast together, making pictures where you reenact all the paintings and sculptures
all the research he did beforehand to impress you was never really brought up
he might get in a quick ‘so this was by a woman who used colored flowers to make her own paint’
turns out that’s actually the painting next to it but you’re still amazed
the next part of mission ‘give her the best date ever’ was getting churros at a stand outside and walking through the park while eating them
he’d hold your hand and try his best to be a good conversational partner while also munching on his churro
‘Are you having a good time?’ just to check.
you were getting closer to his big finale
‘I have something to show you. A few years ago I was here too and promised myself to come back here with someone special.’
he guids you to the back of the building you had visited earlier
‘It’s really cool, you’re gonna love it.’
tension rising
turning a corner
‘Wait- what?’
you were greeted by a completely white wall
aside from a few dirt patches at the bottom it was impeccably white
his heart sank
a soft whine escaping
it left you quite confused because he raised the expectations earlier
‘This moment was meant to be perfect.’ he huffed
after you asked him what’s wrong he would explain everything
from the day he first saw the graffiti wall to how he planned this entire date in detail
‘It was such a great idea too- and- and- you really would’ve loved it.’
he was rambling at this point
the standard he put up for himself was quite high and he didn’t realize how much he had been stressing about it until now so it all came out at once
‘you deserve the best and I prepared the best but the universe just goes nahh-.’
you’d giggle
‘what’s so funny?’ he’d chuckle slightly at your response
after hearing you talk about how much you loved the date and how much you appreciated him for all the effort he put into it
mostly about how it didn’t matter that the wall wasn’t there anymore and that it was the idea that counts
the date was still perfect to you
hearing you say those last view words made him realizee he still did it
you still thought it was perfect
he actually did it
without a second thought he interrupted your next sentence
kissing you deeply as all the built up stress fell from his shoulders
‘I’m a pretty great boyfriend, aren’t I?’
it was rethorical question but his heart still leaped when you nodded happily at him
good lord
will he manage?
still proud for just being able to talk to you
choked on air when you first held his hand
still stutters when you give him a compliment
damn, I’m actually not entirely sure how he would first kiss you
after Jeongwoo wouldn’t stop asking him if he had kissed you yet he would really start thinking
he was gonna have to kiss you eventually
still secretly hoping you would kiss him sometime but also wants to be confident and take initiative
one day you’re watching a show at your place and the two main characters kiss on screen
in the corner of your eye you can see his ears getting red, trying to look natural and clearing his throat
without looking at you he’d mumble under his breath
‘Hey- uh.. weird question but-’
you asked him to repeat himself since you couldn’t hear properly
‘Oh- nothing, no, never mind.’ shakes his head rapidly
his gaze never leaving the tv
a few seconds pass by and you could tell how hard he was thinking still
‘but like- not that I uh- care or anything. But- haveyoueverkissedanyonebefore?’ 
damn, this boy should try rapping more
luckily you did make out his words
this time it was your turn to blush
‘no- have you?’
shakes his head rapidly again
awkward silence, both still staring at the tv
‘would you-...’ a little more silence ‘...- want to?’
you turned to look at him, not really answering his question
it felt like you could hear his heartbeat from where you were sitting, or was it yours?
his head turned slowly, eyes darting over your face a few times before he finally made eyecontact
he could tell from the way you looked back that this was it, now was the time
in a swift motion he leaned forward and kisses you on the lips
a quick peck which made you realize that it was your own heartbeat you were hearing because it was through the roof now
‘Heh wow- your lips are really soft.’
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hobotalesaus · 4 years
Episode 3: A Hesitating Pulse Is Good Company
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I still remember the first time I came to Melbourne; I was about 18. Everything was foreign and weird and busy and sunny. ‘People are strange, when you're a stranger. Faces look ugly, when you're alone.’ I ended up in Collingwood, another planet to me back then. I found solace in a corner pub. The porch light was on and it was the closest thing to home as I could find. 
Living in the big smoke isn't for everyone, but certain people just fucking thrive. Jay is one of those people. Totally sober in the spot he lives, figuratively speaking. When I first met the bloke, he showed me through his place in his moccasins (yeah I remember mate) and pointed out different pieces of art, memorabilia, just stuff. The stuff that we fill our spaces with because we love looking at it and it's a puzzle of what makes us, ‘us’. This was the shit that he loves and you could see it straight away. Outside, there was this faint buzz of the city, with a heartbeat and tyre noise and the smell of god knows what. Maybe a police siren or some shit. It reminded me of a song, with the line "A hesitating pulse is good company". If I was to sum up Collingwood, especially in that house on that day, it would be with that line. "A hesitating pulse is good company". 
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Firstly, Jay is a bloody good bloke. My old man would always tell me the best way to approach somebody is like this: If you think you're a good fella, I do too, until you prove me wrong. Something tells me that Jay hasn't proven anyone wrong. 
Knowing this about him, we approached Jay recently about doing a story and he was more than happy to go with it, which actually sort of posed a problem; he's got so many fucking things on the go, and is equally good at all of them, that we were hard pressed to make room for it all. But we'll give it a red hot crack anyway. 
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Born in the early 90s, Jay spent most of his time as a young fella riding BMX like most of us did. Outside til dark, jumping kerbs, ruining your shoes by putting them in between the forks and the front tyre. Yeah we all did it. "How do you keep ruining your shoes so quickly??" the words rang out across the house and you knew you were about to get whooped. Street Sharks on the telly, poster of Matt Hoffman on the bedroom wall. How good was that? Then the natural transition (as if that isn't the best fucking pun I've ever heard) to skateboarding. "The first skate video I ever saw was a FLIP SORRY part. That got me so pumped up to go skate, the whole soundtrack and attitude was surreal! Skateboarding basically consumed my life from then all the way up til now," he says, and yeah, it fucking shows. "I tell you what, I had a few Margera decks growing up. But Geoff Rowley stood out for me, and still influences me for sure, even to this day."
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There's always been this weird connection between skating and motorcycles; we're not talking your $40,000 BMW touring bike or your Hyabusa. We're talking about Triumphs, Harleys, chopped up Honda's. Making noise and pissing people off. Literally giving the finger to anyone who gives you that greasy look. "I got into motorcycles when I was about 21 or 22, after a trip to the US. All I'd ever wanted to do was go to the U.S and skate all the spots I'd seen in the videos. I had organized with a friend from Geroa (check a map) to head over; his old lady owned a condo in Oceanside, Cali. They were kind enough to invite me over to stay." 
“We're talking about Triumphs, Harleys, chopped up Honda's. Making noise and pissing people off. Literally giving the finger to anyone who gives you that greasy look”
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"I took some photos of that chopper on this 35mm Minolta 201 I got for $30 on eBay.”
"So there we are at a skate park in California, and a mate of Ray's rolled up on this bad-ass cone Shovel chopper that he built himself. I didn't grow up around parents or a cool uncle who rode motorcycles, so when I was confronted with this dirty, leaky machine, I was fascinated. No foot pegs, looked like it hadn't been cleaned since the 80s. We were in the car on highway, watching him haul ass, weaving in and out of lanes, skateboard strapped to the sissy bar. That was it for me" he says, and you know that you had the same moment at some point in your life where you went "Yep, that's what I'm all about". He continues, "I took some photos of that chopper on this 35mm Minolta 201 I got for $30 on eBay. Turned out the mechanism to eject the film was broken so I lost it all. Still have the memories though. I came home to Australia and maybe a month later I went and bought a 2016 Sporty 48; because what the fuck do I know about building old motorcycles?" But who the fuck cares what it is right, as long as it's not a street bike. 
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This leads us into another jack of all trades moment with Jay; photography. "Sometimes when I'm feeling frisky, I whip out the old Nikon D700. I take 6 photos or maybe 30, and sometimes 1 will come out good. I'm not a photographer, I just take photos sometimes.", which is pretty much enough to sum it up. "I'm stoked with a whole bunch of photos I've taken, and that's all that fuckin' matters." Too right bloke. 
"Sometimes when I'm feeling frisky, I whip out the old Nikon D700. I take 6 photos or maybe 30, and sometimes 1 will come out good. I'm not a photographer, I just take photos sometimes."
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"Sometimes I paint, sometimes I get angsty sitting there for long periods of time trying to figure out colour blending and all the rest. I did the Knucklehead painting and that's pretty much where that ends." I was actually lucky enough to grab said Knucklehead painting, which takes pride of place in my lounge room. It's a wicked, dusty, rusty painting that tells you that the motor is as old as sin. Just how we like it. "I can't draw to save my life, but I spent what felt like 3 months working on it here and there." That led us to a pretty significant point in the story, with what I guess I'm trying to capture with these interviews. "Expressing yourself is a great way to be heard; you can tell a story through an action, a photo, a drawing..whatever. And without self expression, the world is a pretty boring place."  
“I was actually lucky enough to grab said Knucklehead painting, which takes pride of place in my lounge room”
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So, as far as the nitty gritty, I think a lot of us have seen Jay's scoot by now. That 48 Sporty we mentioned earlier was written off "trying to pull a wheelie leaving work", which is a pretty standard outcome I reckon. So the white beast is a 72 Sporty, which was stripped down and and built back up by David at Primal Garage, with some work being done by Sean at Bar-None Moto. He cut the rear fender struts, and had some solid bar machined up to look like suspension, but it is actually hard-tailed. He also lifted the tank a little, modified the seat pan that Sean made, fit a new rear fender so it tucked nicely around the tire. He also freshened up the bike by re-painting the tins pearl white, with champagne stripes fading to silver. He also chucked the Leviathan cross on the tank at my request. He finished it all off with a set of bad ass up sweeps! Sean smashed out new bars, sissybar, license plate/ brake light bracket, and gave Dave a good start on the king/queen seat pan. Now I have a sweet ass looking bike that I’ve barely ridden this year. Covid has been a struggle", he says, and those of you in Victoria can attest to the fact that this year has been a total write off. Not being able to get out, hit some pubs, roll the swag out beside the bike and sleep in the dirt; that's our lockdown. "I’ve gone damn near everywhere on that bike, I love it to bits!" 
“He cut the rear fender struts, and had some solid bar machined up to look like suspension, but it is actually hard-tailed.”
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There aren’t too many ways to describe riding a motorcycle to somebody who hasn't done it. And there's a difference again between riding in total comfort, heated grips, perfect riding position, had vitamins this morning, has a go-pro strapped to his head, has every supply under the sun in his bags, middle aged dentist on a touring bike. I'm talking about being stripped down of all fancy equipment, burning your legs, can't hear anything, welts on your face, hot, cold, numb fingers, sore arse, no fuel left, phone is dead, you're still 50kms from where you think the camp spot is but you know what? You could keep riding for another 1000kms because fuck me, this is what it's about. 
“..total comfort, heated grips, perfect riding position, had vitamins this morning, has a go-pro strapped to his head, has every supply under the sun in his bags, middle aged dentist on a touring bike.”
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The smell of a campfire, the taste of a bug on your teeth, the spine shattering crack from a pothole on your hardtail, losing your house keys somewhere in the last 2 days riding, unpeeling yourself from the bike and finally being able to stretch your hips as the locals stare. "Passing out in the dirt, waking up in the rain. Skateboarding was my first love, but riding motorcycles is one big adventure, and the best one I've been on in years." says Jay, as I think we all for a moment realize that from now on, whenever anyone asks "Hey, lets skip town for a night on the bikes", you're going to say yes regardless, for fear of never being able to do it again. 
"Passing out in the dirt, waking up in the rain. Skateboarding was my first love, but riding motorcycles is one big adventure, and the best one I've been on in years."
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If our readers are anything like us, and I think they are, living in the city is doable if there's an escape in between the chaos. "Pre-Covid, my girlfriend (Asti) and our dog (Luna) and I would head up into the mountains every other weekend. Find a cool spot to park and just walk around for awhile, explore. We could let Luna off lead and she loved it. I like shooting photos in the forest. Nature is the best". 
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"Camping holds a special place in my heart. I love the smell of a campfire, endless banter between mates, NO RECEPTION. Not showering for awhile is also a guilty pleasure. We've all had our fair share of wet-wipe showers". I'll be honest, as long as there's water near by, that's good enough for me. Winter or not. Which reminds me, little tip for painting the town brown in the bush; dig two little holes for your heels, stick a log or the shovel in the ground, hang onto it and lean back. Opens up the bowels. (You'll thank me I reckon). 
’’We've all had our fair share of wet-wipe showers"
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Everyone has a favorite camping story. I think as time has gone on, they don’t stand out as much as they used to, they're all great. Even when you ended up broken down in the rain, lost, hungry, hungover. Still better than a night in the city if you ask me. 
"My favorite camp spot was something not easily forgotten.  My girlfriend and I tripped out to Wilson’s Promontory one weekend. We paid to spend the night in the camp site which was basically a grass car park with no fires allowed and we decided that it just wouldn’t fly with us. We packed a couple of backpacks with the tent, sleeping mat, sleeping bags etc. We hiked a trail for an hour or so, scouting a suitable place to set up shop along the way. We eventually decided to veer off the trail, and head down through the shrub toward the ocean. We ended up finding the most insane spot! On top of a cliff, a nice flat piece of land on some moss covered rocks. Looking over the ocean. We were even graced with a sunset, right over the water, directly in front of us. Romantic as fuck, it was amazing. Golden hour blew us away. Not a single person in sight, but us. We got a little fire going and just marveled at what we found and where we were. That was the best camp spot for sure. If it were possible to accompany that with motorcycles, shit. I could have died right there and then."
‘’Even when you ended up broken down in the rain, lost, hungry, hungover. Still better than a night in the city if you ask me’’
“We packed a couple of backpacks with the tent, sleeping mat, sleeping bags etc. We hiked a trail for an hour or so, scouting a suitable place to set up shop along the way.”
I reckon that's a pretty good image to leave this story on. I think there's something special about people who can find solace in nothing, in no-one, just being content with what's happening at that moment in time. A sunset, setting off a car alarm with your pipes, burning away from a servo with a full tank of fuel. The big picture is made up of a million little pictures.
We always ask people what their life motto is; what they stand by. Jay gave us this. "Do more of what makes you happy. Whatever it is.”
Thanks bloke, it's been a time and a half. First beer is on me once the wall comes down.
"Do more of what makes you happy. Whatever it is."
All photos by Jay except for top photo by Sean (Bar-None Moto). 
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the-desolated-quill · 7 years
The God Complex - Doctor Who blog
(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)
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Oh great! Another Toby Whithouse episode! They’re always good for a giggle!
I’ve always felt Whithouse was the obvious candidate to take over from Moffat as opposed to Chris Chibnall. Granted not everything he writes is amazing, but he always maintains a decent level of quality and he seems to have a good handle as to what makes Doctor Who such a unique show. I absolutely adored School Reunion and while The Vampires Of Venice was a tad flawed, it was still hugely entertaining due to its camp silliness. The God Complex is very much in the same vein as Vampires. Although problems do crop up toward the end, it’s still very enjoyable overall.
The Doctor, Amy and Rory arrive at a hotel, only to discover it’s not a hotel at all. It’s a prison made to look like a hotel with other ‘guests’ trapped inside, their worst fears hidden behind every door and a hungry Minotaur roaming the corridors. Bit like a hotel I stayed at in Rome during a school trip.
Now of course the advertisements describe the rooms as containing their worst fears, but I do hope Whithouse didn’t actually intend this to be scary. Because if he did, he may have fallen short by a few... light-years. See the thing about fears that are personal to you is that only you find them scary. Everyone else just finds them either tame or just plain hilarious, especially if it’s something weird like a gym teacher or a man in a gorilla suit clutching some toilet roll, both of which appear in the episode and both of which are hysterically funny. So I’m assuming that Whithouse was going more for surreal rather than scary. And yeah, it works. It works really well. If Whithouse was going for surreal, this is definitely surreal. The hotel is a great setting and it does lend itself to some very weird imagery, like the dining room full of ventriloquist dummies. A lot of it feels very reminiscent of Stephen King. The most obvious is The Shining with perhaps a little bit of It thrown in for good measure. Not very original granted, but it’s executed very well. And I did like the Minotaur. Okay the design is a bit crap, but the use of fisheye lens and inventive camera angles help to make it somewhat threatening.
Let’s talk about the characters, starting with my favourite. Rita, played by Amara Karan. Having had to put up with obnoxious plot device in a mini-skirt Amy for what feels like two ice ages rather than series, you can imagine I was very excited when the Doctor offered to take Rita with him in the TARDIS when all this was over. A woman that’s not defined by her physical attractiveness or her importance to the Doctor and is actually a fully realised character in her own right? Whithouse, please, remind me what that’s like! It’s been such a long time!
Needless to say, I really liked Rita. She’s funny, really smart, she’s got a good head on her shoulders, and is able to keep her cool while everyone else is losing their’s. I particularly liked the exploration of her faith. She believes the hotel is actually Jahannam, the Muslim version of Hell, and I liked how she’s able to take it all in her stride. She’s confused as to why she’s been sent to ‘Jahannam’, believing she has lived a good and moral life, but remains steadfast that everything will be explained and that she will get out of this somehow. Plus it’s just nice to have a Muslim woman on Doctor Who. I certainly would love to see a Muslim woman become the Doctor’s companion. I was utterly heartbroken when she died, although I suppose I should have seen it coming. I thought Amara Karan gave a really good performance and would have  fit in really well with Matt Smith’s Doctor. I feel she would have provided a nice rational counterbalance for him. I especially liked her calm rejection of the Doctor’s all mighty saviour mentality.
I could have done without the stereotyping though. When Rita opens the door to her room, her worst fear is revealed to be her strict dad berating her for getting a B in mathematics.
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Really Whithouse? 
In fact this episode contains a lot of stereotyping now that I’m thinking about it. I mean look at Howie. Bespectacled nerd with a stutter who blogs about conspiracy theories, likes Star Trek and is afraid of talking to girls. Joe doesn’t escape this either. He’s a gambler and we know this because he wears a horseshoe pin on his tie and dice cufflinks. It just feels really lazy on Whithouse’s part.
The other character I liked was Gibbis, played by David Walliams. Now this surprised me because David Walliams worked with Matt Lucas in the sketch show Little Britain, which I’ve always thought was about as funny as passing a kidney stone. They also worked together on the short lived mockumentary series Come Fly With Me, which was quite possibly one of the worst comedies I’ve ever sat through in my life. In fact I still vividly remember that Christmas. My family and I staring open-mouthed at the telly watching David Walliams and Matt Lucas in yellowface singing a really offensive, mock Chinese song about Martin Clunes. I actually consider it an insult to my backside that I had to sit through that deeply racist pile of dreck and to this day I still don’t know what possessed the BBC into thinking that was in any way appropriate. To cut a long story short, I don’t like Walliams or Lucas very much. What can I say? I have a thing against talentless hacks thinking casual racism is funny. It’s a quirk of mine. But yeah, I really liked Gibbis. It’s a great idea. A race of aliens that have survived by sucking up to their invaders and oppressors. It lends itself to some really funny moments (their national anthem is ‘Glory To... Insert Name Here.’ LOL), I liked how Gibbis’ cowardice is used to pit the characters against one another, and as much as I’m loath to admit it, I thought David Walliams did a good job in the role. Well I suppose even a broken clock is right twice a day (unless it’s digital of course).
As I said, I do mostly like the episode. It’s very surreal and engaging. Silly but entertainingly so. It’s just a shame the whole thing had to go a bit tits up at the end.
So the Doctor works out that the Minotaur isn’t actually feeding on fear, but on faith, and that the reason the TARDIS was drawn there was because of Amy’s faith in the Doctor. Okay, not a bad idea. It’s certainly a good way to explore their relationship and how Amy has never really grown up, as demonstrated when the Doctor talks to her and he sees her as young Amelia. The problem is the whole faith aspect isn’t done very well. For instance, I can see Amy having faith in the Doctor, Rita having faith in Allah and Joe having faith in luck, but Howie’s faith in conspiracy theories? That’s a bit of a stretch. And what about Rory? He’s repeatedly shown the fire exit because apparently he doesn’t have any faith in anything.
Everyone has faith in something.
And then there’s the resolution. If Amy’s faith in the Doctor is so strong, would a two minute monologue really be enough to break it? It feels very similar to a moment in The Curse Of Fenric where the Seventh Doctor had to break his companion Ace’s faith in him, but the reason that worked was because it was genuinely shocking and uncomfortable to watch. He coldly attacked parts of Ace’s self esteem and made her feel like little more than a piece on a chessboard. Here it just feels a bit pathetic and half-arsed in comparison. Also you never get the sense that the Doctor and Amy’s relationship has actually changed once her faith has been ‘broken’. They’re still laughing and smiling like they normally do. With Seven and Ace, while he does apologise and explain why he did it, you get the sense that their once close relationship is slightly more fragile now going forward.
But one thing that puzzles me especially (and this is in no way Whithouse’s fault) is why is Amy’s faith in the Doctor so strong considering everything that’s happened. Would Amy’s faith really be that unshakeable after the Doctor failed to save her daughter? Or when he coldly left her alternative self to die in The Girl Who Waited? 
Which brings me to this. Remember in my previous review when I said I had a problem with how The Girl Who Waited was resolved, but it wouldn’t become apparent until now? Well this is it. Wouldn’t it make so much more sense if Amy and Rory left after that episode rather than this one? The God Complex is really jarring at the beginning because the three leads are getting along, but surely after what happened in the previous episode there would be some tension between them. Can they actually trust the Doctor after everything that’s happened? So I have a really hard time buying that Amy would still have faith in the Doctor. Or at least that her faith would be as strong as they’re claiming it is. I would much rather have seen Amy and Rory take some initiative and choose to leave the TARDIS of their own accord because of what the Doctor did rather than having them get unceremoniously dumped for the weakest and most patronising of reasons. He’s worried they’re going to get killed if they stay with him. Well big whoop! Get over yourself! Yes it’s dangerous travelling with him, but his companions are well aware of that. They want to travel through time and space because it’s cool, not because they’re too stupid to know better. If Amy and Rory want to take the risk, that’s their choice. By stripping them of that choice, the Doctor is basically treating Amy like the child he just encouraged her to grow up from and leave behind a few minutes ago.
The God Complex was never going to be special. I realise that. But it was still a decent enough story that was both imaginative and enjoyable to watch. It’s just such a shame that ending had to spoil it.
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nclexexamination · 5 years
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We’re letting one nurse take over a segment our blog. Wait a minute, why? Well, we want to give you, and other student nurses, an open and honest look at life beyond nursing school. From studying for the NCLEX Exam and passing it to the job hunt and the day-to-day of a new nurse, you will be able to follow the ins and outs, the ups and downs.
Allow us to introduce you to Savanah Case, RN, BSN. You may remember her from our “What End-of-Program Nursing Students Wish They Knew When…” blog series. She was in your shoes not too long ago and is full of stories, advice and tips that you will want to know.  
Meet Savanah Case, RN, BSN
Hello all! My name is Savanah Case RN, BSN (those letters still seem surreal to write after my name). I am currently working in the Mother Baby department at Olathe Medical Center’s The Birth Place. I have been done with school for a whole six months now and time has absolutely flown by. It wasn’t until the end of my schooling that I was able to narrow down the areas I hoped to obtain a job in – Mother Baby/Labor and Delivery or Emergency Department. Needless to say, I ended up at The Birth Place and have absolutely loved it for countless reasons.
Throughout the next six months I will share my story and experiences with all of you, but first, I would like to dive into the test everyone begins to think about the minute they find out they have been accepted into nursing school – the NCLEX. Without passing this exam, I wouldn’t be able to do what I love – be a nurse.
End-of-Program Testing and Scheduling the NCLEX Exam
I attended a nursing school that used ATI within our curriculum. So, towards the end of my program we had to take the ATI Comprehensive Predictor, which from my understanding is very comparable to the NCLEX and calculates your probability of passing the NCLEX. The Predictor would be the longest test I had ever taken in my entire life and my ability to take the NCLEX depended on this. Needless to say, this definitely made me nervous.
Once I passed the Predictor I had a big decision to make as to when I wanted to take boards. It’s a dilemma I’m sure all of you will face, and you will probably change your mind at least five times. The minute that you do commit to a date and click that “schedule” button, your mind will start to race.
My advice is go with your gut – if you don’t like to feel rushed, give yourself time, and if you will put off studying if it’s too far out, schedule it soon! By this time in nursing school, you have an idea of how you study and how you work and test “best”. I decided the content was not going to get any fresher in my mind as time went on so I got on the website and booked the soonest NCLEX date I could get – May 9th.  
Sidenote: When scheduling your test think about the time of day you would prefer to test/your daily routine. Every morning before class I got up and went running, ate my breakfast and then hit the books – which is why I scheduled my exam for 7:30 AM. Testing at this time allowed me to wake up, get my workout in and eat my breakfast just like I normally would! However, if you’re not a morning person, I wouldn’t suggest testing early in the morning.
Studying for the Exam
So, how did I study? I mainly used two resources for my studying that I purchased on my own. There is no perfect time to study and let’s be honest, no one WANTS to study for the NCLEX but you just have to dive in!
When I Started Studying:Around Christmas time, roughly five months before graduation, I bought the NCLEX RN app for my phone. Slowly, and I mean very slowly, I started taking questions on it. When I say slowly I mean the first two months I was lucky to take 10 questions before I went to bed – but some is better than none, right?
This app has about 1500 questions you can take, and they even will split them into categories (Labs, Med/Surg, Maternity, Psych, Peds, Pharmacology, Fundamentals). On the app it will also show you the time you spend on average answering questions and how many you have gotten right.
How I Prepped:Knowing that my goal was to take the NCLEX in May, I purchased the NCBSN five-week course and started to use it towards the end of April. I liked this option because the people that make the NCLEX make this study tool. Because of time purposes, I stuck to the quiz banks offered on this site and tried to take one full set a day for 10 days straight prior to my test date which was roughly 150-200 questions a day.
Sidenotes: On these quizzes, I got anywhere from 40%-100%. So, don’t get stressed out if you aren’t getting high marks every time!
How Many Hours I Studied: Timewise, I can’t put a number on how many hours I spent studying, but I know it was a lot. I am a “fast test taker” so the time spent was always different. Study until you feel comfortable or until you hit a wall. Once you hit a wall, step away for a bit and come back to it later once you’ve taken some time to relax!
My Best Study Tip:Not knowing how many questions I would have to take during the actual exam, I tried to take as many as possible. When taking questions, I would suggest the “practice like you play” philosophy. (AKA: build your own testing environment). For me, that meant putting my phone away, finding a place where there would be no noise/distractions, no one else around and absolutely no resources! While you’re taking questions keep a blank sheet of paper nearby to write down topics that you might want to look over or review!
SATA Questions: SELECT ALL THAT APPLY. If you don’t already hate seeing this (SATA), you will by the time you finish taking your NCLEX. My biggest suggestion is to get comfortable seeing this next to your questions and take as many as you can! I would say over half of my exam was SATA.
The Final Check: I also ended up taking a practice predictor from the ATI website prior to taking my NCLEX. This helped me to gauge my overall competence level, and it gave me another set of NCLEX-style questions to practice on.
Overall studying wise, I knew that I personally needed to take practice questions, which is why that was more of my studying method. I did review some content, especially if I wrote it down when taking questions. You will constantly feel like you’re not studying enough or you may not feel confident that you’re studying the right way. You will probably never feel that you are “prepared” for this test, but in all reality, you’ve been preparing for two years.
It’s Test Day! The Before, During and After
The day before the test, take it easy and try to relax (HA! Easier said than done, I know). But seriously, try to schedule something fun to take your mind off of it and then get to bed at a decent time. At this point, you just have to accept the fact that you’re nervous. Embrace it!
Testing day – I literally could. not. sleep. all. night. long. I tried my best to sleep, but I think I maybe got three hours, whoops! I had my roommate take me to the test, drop me off and made plans for her to pick me up. This made it easy for me to stay “in the zone” that morning.
During the test, I tried my best to stay calm. There were questions where I had no idea what was being asked and there were questions I knew the answer to almost immediately. While you’re testing, stick to the way you test. If you take your time answering questions, don’t rush into one.
And if you seem to move through questions faster, don’t completely change your style! When my screen went black, (I didn’t believe this actually happened, until it happened to me) I had no clue what to do.
I thought, “That’s it? Am I done? Is this a joke?” And just like that, the waiting game began…..
If I’m being honest, I remember walking out feeling like I was in a daze, almost like I felt nothing, if that makes sense. However, the more I started to think about it, the more confident I felt that I had in fact passed – but I still had no idea. The first 24 hours of the waiting game I felt as good as you can try to feel, but the second 24 hours is when the doubt set in. This is when you start wanting to Google those “tricks” to see if you had passed because you’re too impatient to wait the whole 48 hours. Luckily, I talked myself out of attempting any of those tricks and just kept waiting.
I remember sitting on my bed at 47 hours and 55 minutes watching the clock, and the clock moved slower than ever. Finally, I was able to pay my $7 to receive early results and saw the word “Pass” in really small letters …yes that’s it. Balloons don’t trickle down your screen, the word isn’t in bright colors,“Congratulations!” doesn’t flash across your screen,  it just says just “pass”. Nonetheless, I cried tears of joy and screamed so loud people thought I broke my leg.  
So that’s it, that’s how I passed the NCLEX in 75 questions. The emotions, the stress, the hard work, and the excitement.
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